R YOU?
1. Perfect? Hahahaha....I wish
2. Tall? More so than a lot of people
3. In your pajamas? What constitutes pajamas for me
4. Left handed? Not at all

LAST:
1. Friend you saw: Shirley & Nick
2. Talked to on the phone: Shirley
3. Person to text you: Shirley again....she is my faghag.....
4. Was today better than yesterday? In some ways, yes, others not so much

FAVORITE:
1. Number: 3
2. Color: Green
3. Food: Japanese
4. Place: Right now? A missed room in San Pedro

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:

Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up? Yelled at my alarm, wished I had gotten more than an hour of sleep

Q: Do you have anything bothering you? A couple of things, but nothing too badly

Q: What's the last movie you watched in theaters? Enchanted......I ask again, where does all the fucking glitter come from?

Q: Where is the last place you went? Moorpak College and Wendy's

Q: Do you smile often? Almost all the time I guess

Q: Do you wish upon stars? Whenever I see a falling one

Q: Are you a friendly person? I am one of the most friendly people, I have been told

Q: Where did you sleep last night? An hour on my bed before having to get up for school

Q: Why did you sleep there? Because that is where I sleep

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night? Am I going to be able to wake up?

Q: Rate life as of right now one being bad ten being great? It depends on each individual aspect of my life, but an average about now is maybe 7

Q: What do you hear right now? Movie on next to me for background noise

Q: Does anything hurt right now? A couple of things, feet mainly.....mentally...well, no comment right now

Q: What's your favorite month? October

TEN EMOTIONS:
1. Are you missing someone right now? Yes, a lot

2. Are you happy? Yeah, in some ways I am very much so

3. Are you sad? Sometimes, occasionally depressed slightly

4. Are you bored? At this time of night, a lot, very very bored

6. Are you nervous?: Yeah, I am, but I hope that it will all be ok

10. Do you trust your top 2? More than almost anybody. (Also, where are 7-9?)

001. Real name? Adam Scott Poisal
002. Nick name? Poisal, Trigger, Asshole....
003. Eye color? Brown
004. Zodiac sign? Libra
005. Male or female? I like them both....I am a Male
007. Crushing? In love
008. Slut? Been called one
009. Smart? Yeah, or I am told so
010. Hair color? Brown
011. Long or short? Long
013. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans
014. Phone or Camera? Camera
015. Health freak:? A little
016. Drink or Smoke? Drink occasionally, Smoke all the time
019. Piercings? 2
020. Tattoos?  Yeah, 1, hopefully more
021. Righty or lefty? Righty, I am horrible with my left
FIRSTS :
023. First piercing? Left ear, 14 years old
024. First best friend? Lincoln Monroe
025. First award? Spelling Bee
026. First crush? Kimberley in kindergarten
027. First pet? Buster the Labrador
028. First big vacation? Visiting California from Kansas when 1

CURRENTLY :
049. Eating? Nothing
050. Drinking? Dr. Pepper
052. I'm about to? Try and sleep
053. Listening to? TV
054. Plans for today? School, Sing It rehearsal
055. Waiting for? the weekend

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes? Eyes
070. Shorter or taller? Tall
072. Romantic or spontaneous? Spontaneous
073. Nice stomach or nice arms? Stomach..but having both is a plus
074. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive
075. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship
076. Someone on your mind during answers? Yeah, she always is

HAVE YOU EVER :
079. Drank bubbles? Yeah, they tasted weird
080. Lost glasses/contacts? All the time
081. Ran away from home? A couple times
084. Broken someone's heart? Yeah, regrettably
085. Been arrested? Never

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself? Usually
090. Miracles? Sometimes
091. Love at first sight? Lust maybe
092. Heaven? Nope
093. Santa clause? Nah
094. Sex on the first date? Not usually
095. Kiss on the first date? Usually

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. where is this question? At the bottom of the page
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? In some ways, yes, but I wish that I wasn't as behind as I am
099. Do you believe in true love? I really try to
100. Post as 100 truths.

I had my preliminary audition for Brad Majors for the Rocky Horror Picture Show cast Sins o the Flesh tonight and I passed it. I was so nervous, but I did really well apparently. I am so glad that I passed, all the work I have done over the last couple of weeks practicing has paid off.

So, now I have four weeks until my first stage show/last audition and I am going to work my ass off to be amazing for it. I can't wait.  It is going to be on Sept. 29th (the weekend before my 20th Birthday) and it is going to be awesome to perform on the Sins stage for the first time (well, if you don't count my performance in Hedwig with Rainbow Carnage).  Here is to four weeks of training and a then hopefully amazing audition show.

Like Beer Mixed With Gatorade,
~Adam Poisal

(Don't mind the sign off lines, I like the randomness and I am going to be doing it all the time now.)

I just watched five hours of Heroes uninterrupted from my computer. I feel so fulfilled.


It was the last five episodes of the season, the ones that I missed because for awhile I had access to neither a TV nor a computer.  But tonight I was just sitting here and I remembered that NBC.com has the show online for you to watch at anytime, any episode.  So I did, I watched. I watched for hours. And I cried during the last episode....it was heart wrenching and sad like Deathly Hallows.  But now I feel amazing, even though I haven't slept, and I feel like doing something.  Maybe I'll exercise...or maybe I will just sit down and do a bunch of Heroes related fanart....sounds like a good idea to me.

Well, I am coming out to Palmdale tomorrow, well later today, for Raychel's going away partty. For those of you who read this and live out there and would also like to see me while I am there, give me a call and we can try and work something out.

For those with the prequisites: 661-492-7211

Hope to talk to one of you tomorrow, hopefully.

Barbarians do it while angry.

Bards do it for an audience.

Clerics do it on their knees.

Druids do it like animals.

Fighters do it with toys.

Paladins do it right.

Rangers do it in the woods.

Rogues do it from behind.

Sorcerors do it with their mind.

Wizards can only read about it.

Ever does the future hold new things for us to choose between: nonfat or whole milk, chocolate or vanilla, colorful condoms or ribbed, beef or chicken, sleep or play WoW.....these things may or may not seem like terribly difficult decisions and they aren't. But when combined with even a single more important choice the weight of each of the smaller feels all the greater.  Right now I am in the middle of one of those 'more important' decisions that makes everything this feel so heavy.

My job now is just fine, I am able to get by with what I make and I do thoroughly enjoy going to work almost everyday, but I am not making enough money to do anything more with my life than this, not even enough to properly save up for a car that I so desperately need or even to pay for the insurance when I do get said car. My grandfather has offered to help and try and get me started into his and my uncle's line of work: being an electrician. The pay is substantially more than what I make now (in the 200%+ more range) and the job has benefits and some chance for growth.  In all the numerical categories it is that much better than what I am doing now, but I don't know if it is for me.  I am not too terribly excited about the prospect of being an electrician, nor has it ever been something that I aspired to become, and it is something that I really don't think I am ready for: a career.

Logically it isn't that hard of a decision: go with the money, go with the benefits and the security, go with the career. But do I really want a career?  Do you want to dedicate the rest of my life to doing wiring and working with electricity and working with construction workers and people that I have absolutely nothing in common with. At least at Borders I am working with one of my lifelong loves: books.  But they isn't enough to live off of indepently right now.  I don't know what to do.  And this is making everything else way to fucking heavy right now.

Almost everything I learned in the last month and a half in six sentences....go:

1.) Rocky Horror Picture Show rocks with the burning fires of obsession and scantily clad bodes.

2.) Work sucks, especially when you work two....so I quit one and went with my passion for books over my love of coffee.

3.) Try as I might to stay independent the world keeps shoving me back in with my family....and me getting kicked from my apartment doesn't help much either.

4.) Dates are fun, dating is interesting, but relationships suck, so stay single and explore the vast sea of fish and possibility.

5.) The volatile combination of stress, coffee, a fast food diet, and two jobs can only result in one thing: an ulcer.

6.) Chevron is the only place in the world that still carries Mountain Dew: Livewire.

Well, I may have broken my toe today. The big on on my right foot.  It may or may not be broken, don't know, but it doesn't feel as bad as it did a couple of hours ago, so I don't really think I need to go to the hospital. What can they do for it anyways, you can't splint or set a toe, you just gotta let it heal.  The most they could do for me is take off my half hanging on toenail for me, and I am just going to let it fall off naturally. 

Went to Ventura College today to Parkour and I slipped up on a cat hang jump from one wall to another and my foot smashed into the wall....finished the move and didn't fall but I lost my toenail and a week of training or so in the process. Ce'la vie. Well, it is sit ups, crunches, pull-ups, and tricep drops for me till it heals enough for me to train again.

Till next time,
~A. Trigger Poisal

I cried.  I cried, really cried for the first time in a long time tonight.  I cried in pure amazement and depression at what I missed so much from my life.

I cried because I realized that I have screwed up so much in my life, that I have let great people, people that I really truly cared and loved for slip away in sheer stupidity. I cried because it is all my fault. And I cried because I couldn't change it.

There are people that I miss more than anything right now, people I wish I that could hold and be with, people who I loved and still do who made me a better person.  There are people that I let slip away because I didn't know what I wanted or what was good for me at the time. I was so stupid then. I ask myself why I let them go, why I didn't realize that I was making a decision I would later come to regret, why didn't I realize that I was making one of those mistakes that will come haunt me. I ask myself these things and yet I don't expect an answer, the question itself is enough.  The question answers itself in a way. There was no way I could have known.

But still I wish I hadn't, but still I wish that I could have done it different.

I cried because I realize that I miss something....I cry because I wish I could find what I have lost.