Alright, mouth pain and all, I am compelled to blog about this topic.

Official scorers for Major League Baseball are handicapped in the brain.  I am sick and tired of them intentionally misgrading calls to better their own players (or just getting it straight wrong).  You can't botch a routine play (a.k.a. Adam Everett's backhanded grounder tonight...) and mark it a hit (...an infield single, in this example).  But, I do realize it's all very subjective.  Even so, this isn't some pick-up softball game or your kid's Little League.  These are professionals who field thousands of balls over the course of the summer.  Quit cutting them slack.

One could argue "What's it hurting?".  And really, after a 162 game season, a few extra hits isn't going to have a huge impact on a batting average with hundreds and hundreds of at-bats.  But really, a few less errors could decide a Gold Glove.  A few more hits might push someone ahead for a batting title.

Although not as objective of a measure as statistics, it does impact the sanctity of the game.  Yeah yeah, sanctity is a concept anal baseball fans and purists bring up every now and then, but how is a double from a guy dropping a flyball any different in the record books than a double someone hits while on steroids?  Seems to me that drug use is/was a pretty hot topic, problematic enough to institute a banning policy with suspensions and fines.

That being the case, I'd like to see the exact same thing for professional scorers.  There should be a governing body who reviews questionable calls and punishes scorekeepers who got it wrong.  The next time someone has a ball go off the glove that's in their typical defensive range, you ought to be faced with this:


"Mark it zero!"

Yes, as in zero hits.

Adjusting to a liquidish diet,
Worm

Again, lax on MySpace since I have more readership on Facebook.  But, since Facebook changed formatting to look more like Twitter, you may see more up-to-date entries back on here.  Enjoy.

Apparently a status of mine this past month stirred up some controversy.  Regarding defriending, assuming you're reading this, you really have nothing to worry about.  I have a certain code that I live by with regards to who stays on my friends list.  However, for certain "friends" that I make, they really don't belong when I'm trying to optimize my memory for pharmaceutical knowledge.  I'll provide you with two examples of defriendation last month.

Samantha: I met her at Circuit City when she tried to sell me cable (yes, I'll hit on a sales rep).  Coon was witness to my all-sorts-of-Barney-Stinson-esque smoothness and I gave her my card.  She said she'd add me to Facebook, which she never did, so I added her.  Turns out, she never talked to me since she didn't know much about me.  Uh, that's why you talk to people, hello!  So, I asked her this past month if she reads my notes, she never replied, defriended.

Solina: This was a bit more interesting.  A Christian singer/songwriter sent me a message wondering if I was the same Michael who lived in California that she met years ago.  Of course I wasn't, but I added her anyway (hey, I need readers!).  After months of not really talking, I sent her a quick message about my notes to which she admitted she didn't even know where they were.  D-E-friend.

I guess really my defriending revolves around if you read my notes or not.  This really isn't that fair of inclusion criteria though.  For instance, Aleah mentioned in person how much she likes my notes (not that I would EVER defriend her) and I had no clue she read them until New Year's.

However, if you know me through work or school, chances are you're safe.  If you are worried about me defriending you, you're safe.  Heck, the girl that inspired me to make the Defriend group (the Facebook original!) with Kyle and Jeff is still on my friends list (she's the first reason listed on the group).  Basically, if the time from the last time I heard from you exceeds the time between then and when we first became Facebook friends, you might be in danger.  Here's an MS Paint explanation:Still, if you commented on my notes, you're basically in my good graces for eternity.

Expecting a flood of comments/messages in his inbox,
Mike.

Bonus: Barney's blog - http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/community/barney_blog/index.php

At my dentist appointment today, I was informed that it would cost roughly 750 dollars to have my wisdom teeth removed (yes, I should've done this ages ago and while on Mama Worm's insurance).  Chances are I'll get it done, even though only one actually bothers me.

So in order to feel better (it didn't work) about dropping this kind of cash on entirely elective surgery, I started thinking of what other things I could get for that kind of money.  Here's what I came up with:

6 weeks of rent

3 Xbox 360 Pro systems

Nearly 2 PS Triples

15 video games

2 full Jos. A. Bank suits and one pair of pants (on sale, so none of which would fit me)

50 pairs of Express boxers

1 awesome dad guitar

Or, best of all, 500 Big Apple blueberry bagels that look like the butt of Smurfette.


And yes, I ate that.  Looks like Kyle Jay and I have something in common!

Finishing the data pull,
Worm.

Bear in mind this note carries some sarcasm and  isn't meant to offend anyone (since weight is always such a touchy subject as it is).
---------

After a long day at work, I took off to the nearest Joseph A. Bank to take advantage of their three suits for $450 sale.  Considering I only have two (respectable) suits in my wardrobe, the thought of more than doubling my collection had me a bit giddy.

I arrived to size up the suits and was greeted by a friendly sales rep.  We started with a 38 jacket which fit...okay.  Then went down to a 37 jacket which fit better.  Then a 36 seemed to be the perfect fit (yeah, surprised me too since I am normally a 38) .  Nice and snug, yet with enough room to move unencumbered.

I was informed that they'd have to order the proper suits in my size since they didn't carry many 36s.  I was in no rush with no pending job interviews.  But as the salesman dug into the situation a bit further, it turns out that only certain colors are available in 36 or 37.

And that they would only be the three button variety.

And that the pants may be pleated.

And that any other style suit in those sizes would be more expensive.

Suddenly, this deal was a deal no more and I was walking out the door suitless.  Why must I be limited to such few choices based on my body composition?

Before I called Papa Worm to express my dismay, it dawned on me how ironic of a situation I had just experienced.  For once, I was too skinny (or short?).  Not just too skinny for football or too skinny for women to routinely jump my bones (sarcasm, remember?), but too skinny for proper clothing.  A sad day indeed.

So the next time you're wanting to drop a few pounds or cheering on contestants in The Biggest Loser, just remember the skinny guy doesn't always win.

Off to roam the wastelands before writing a policy,
Tapeworm.

The 'i' is silent.

This won't be a long post (considering I'll be pulling some data in a bit), but it warranted some comment from me.

Unless you're in a cave or don't give a crap about sports, you've heard that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids back in 2003.  From my standpoint, I really don't give a crap.  Sure, I would've liked all the players to be clean, but that's not the way things are so you might as well accept them.  He apologized today, let's get on with Spring Training already.

However, I did want to bring up a post I made in the summer of 2007 regarding Barry Bonds and my lack of caring about his breaking of the home run record (wow, I'm full of apathy this decade).  Here is what I wrote:


Collecting his data, and checking it twice,
Wormburninatingthecountryside

I'm not really sure when this move came into play, but as a country we need to make a stand against such anti-manhood actions.  Today's game of Michigan State versus Indiana is the third game in recent memory in which such an incident has occurred.  Each has presented a bit differently, but they are all dirty.

Incident #1: CP3 lays the smack down.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F3tptzEWmM

Incident #2: Evans gropes a CMU alum.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFcinlrgojk

Incident #3: Dumes buries his elbow into Suton's junk.

Hoops isn't wrestling.  You can't just go whapping on another guy's crotchel region for a strategical advantage.

Starting a movement,
Worm.

This isn't going to be nearly as biased towards the Spartans as it could be, it's merely an observation.

State picked up a solid offensive tackle today by the name of Henry Conway.  I browsed his profile on a couple recruiting websites and apparently they have entirely different reports on him.


Mild mannered and composed.  Heck, he's even wearing glasses.  Note my doodling...

And now let's see from the other website:


Hmm...maybe he didn't like his first work-up.

Watch out for him and Gardiner,
Wwwwwwwwwwwwwworm.

In the wake of yet another controversial season of college football, I felt it necessary to give birth to my long gestating idea of a tournament style post-season.  Obviously this isn't anything groundbreaking.  There's been talk of playoffs, a plus one, and all the other NCAA football divisions do it.  Money is a huge motivating factor to keep the BCS and bowls in place.  So, to keep the best of both worlds and end all this stupid talk about who is really number one, I came up with the following bracket.  But first, some elaboration:

1) The top 24 teams in the country based on a culmination of the coaches poll, AP poll, and BCS computation decides who enters the tournament (sorry #25, bubble burst!).

2) What conference you come from has no bearing on your seed, aside from the perception of the competition in that league.

3) In addition, the top 8 teams receive a first round bye.

4) The tournament begins in early to mid December with a series of games each weekend.  This way teams can't blame the long lay-off for their poor performance, although they may not be completely healthy (think minus Percy Harvin).  It'll take about a month to complete, meaning our champion is still named in early January.

5) Each game is still a "bowl" game.  With a week between, students can still enjoy the atmosphere of a new city and $400 Best Buy gift cards (how that isn't against NCAA regulations, I don't know).  The sponsors keep their name, the universities get their money, and everyone's happy.

6) Do away with all the lame ass bowl games that no one cares about.  Magicjack St. Petersburg Bowl?  See ya!  Papajohns.com Bowl?  No more.  R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl?  Toasted...  Do you realize how many bowl games there are?  34.  And how many of those will your average fan watch?  Six?  Maybe seven?

7) The former "BCS" bowls are now essentially a Final Four...plus a couple others.  Put the Cotton and Outback bowls in this same realm or some others with a strong tradition.

8) No more crappy teams.  If you are within one game of .500, you do NOT get in (take note NBA playoffs).  This year, the list would've included the following: Colorado State, Fresno State, Memphis, Southern Miss, Hawaii, Notre Dame, Florida Atlantic, Wisconsin, Miami (FL), Northern Illinois, North Carolina State, Nevada, Minnesota, Vanderbilt, South Carolina, Clemson, and Kentucky.  Any big losses there?

9) Better match-ups.  No more 16th-ranked team versus an unranked opponent.

10) The awesomeness of filling out a bracket a few months before March.  To be honest, that was the most fun part of putting this all together.  Keep in mind, I didn't put a ton of thought into who I was picking or what bowls should be where.  This is just a general idea.


There.  I hope that settles the debate.

I'd love to get feedback from anyone and everyone.  What are the flaws in this set-up?  What improvements can be made?

Materials: BCS ranking from week 15, the NCAA Division II football bracket, MS Paint.

Off to waste some zombies, horde, or mutants,
Wyrmer

Since I have some MySpace only friends, I figured I'd catch you all up to speed on my Facebook notes.  I focused on Facebook the last few months since that is the bulk of where my comments come from *hint hint*.  Sorry that it isn't quite as smooth, but it was easier to take pictures than reupload things.

































chops.

-Wormage.