I love giving head.  It is such a special way to give a man attention.  Men love getting head because they never get enough of it in the right way. 

I love taking off his pants and if his cock is not already hard, I know that there are three columns that fill with blood in his penis and I like to squeeze the base of that shaft and stimulate the flow of the blood into that cock and get it rock hard.  Harder than he ever thought it was possible to get it before.  Oh yeah!  And then I squeeze some more. 

And then I lightly brush the tip of my tongue near the tip of his cock and just let him feel the heat of my mouth near his shaft for the first time and get him so excited and breathe my hot breath on him – all over his cock, all over his balls.   I lightly rub my face around his cock and his balls and then I rub my tits on his cock and his balls, letting him feel the warmth of my skin on his skin transferring the warmth and the softness of my skin to his over and over and over again.

And then when he is writhing with excitement I wrap the tip of my tongue around the tip of his cock and let him feel the warm moisture of my mouth in contact with his skin.  It is a shock to his system the warm and the wet and the softness of my mouth onto his cock all at once.  So I move in slow motion for him to absorb all of the overwhelming sensation, to process what his sensitive nerve endings are trying to process all at once.

Slowly, I move my large, wide, soft, warm, wet tongue over the tip of his cock and then I add my large, warm, juicy, soft, wet lips and I form a soft suction around the tip of his cock and slowly I move my mouth down over his shaft and then I move my large wide, soft, warm, wet tongue down over the top third of his shaft and I slowly move my tongue back and forth slowly like a windshield wiper only slower and wider, tasting every millimeter, enjoying every sense of texture.  My tongue is so sensitive.   I enjoy giving head so much.  I enjoy how the head swells three times its normal size while I do this.  I enjoy how a little bit of pre-cum discharges at the excitement of the pleasures that I bring.  I enjoy how the man's eyes practically roll back in his head as he revels in the pleasure that I bring to him.  This is not every day pleasure, this is super pleasure.  This is my gift. 

I am a cock psychic.  I have the ability to read what that cock wants from me, what it needs from me what it wants me to do to it, what will make it feels good.  I have the ability to make that cock stand at attention and flutter at excitement for a good amount of time even if it wants to shoot its mouth of right away.  I can sense it and I hold back and make it's excitement last longer.

I amaze men they are so surprised how long they last when my mouth is on them because I read them.  I know when they are close and I soften my grip I lessen my suck, I lower the pace, until they come down from the peak that they were on and then I work at them again and build them up to a near climax again.  I like to help my men last.   They seem to like that.  No one likes to cum in two minutes, do they?  I like to draw it out, make it last awhile, cause them to break a little sweat.

Because that's just the kind of Woman that I am.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been talking extensively on the phone and we have decided to get back together.  We never really did fall out of love with each other and the circumstances that caused the break up are not present any more and we have grown past them. 

We are both in weekly therapy and will also be seeking counseling for the relationship, because if there is one thing I've learned is that relationships are a lot of work.

I actually had a very good marriage for a good long time and we worked through a lot of issues until toward the end when my husband became unwilling to grow up.  I was married for 15 years and we had worked through so much that I never did fathom a time when he would become unwilling to grow, but it happened and it ended the relationship.

But my ex-boyfriend, who is now my current boyfriend, and I have been talking about the difficulties we had in our relationship and we have both made a commitment to both come to the table as equal partners and be willing to grow through what ever issues we need to grow through to be loving supportive partners to each other.

We will definitely get a couple's reading from Bill Burns.  He is so great at getting to the root of each persons defensive mechanisms and breaking it down into managable pieces.  Because when ever there is an argument, it's never what you are arguing about, it is about the deeper issue inside and Bill is so good and seeing what the underlying issue is and helping us deal with the cause of the problem rather than the surface issue.

I'm looking forward to the challenges of a relationship with my man at this stage in our relationship.  We remained good friends even after our break up and I'm glad there is still a chance for us.

Ok, you guys are not going to believe this one.

I started dating this guy on Saturday, October 27^th a couple days after my birthday.  He seemed really nice and we clicked really well.  He gave me full body massages every night and cooked me gourmet meals.  Let me tell you, I was completely swept off my feet.  He told me he was falling in love with me and to be honest with you, excitement is a drug, and I thought I was falling in love with him too.

I had a birthday party on Saturday, November 3, one week after we met and I had about 15 people over.  I had my mom and my sister and friends that had known me for 10 – 20 years and a very important man in my life, my good friend, surrogate father and spiritual teacher Bill Burns.  Now Bill is psychic and I wanted him to meet my new guy and give me his psychic blessing (or not).  I always value his impressions because he has great insights and he can see things that I cannot always see.  But I was sure that he would think that this guy was just great.

Much to my surprise the next day, he tells me that he doesn't like this guy for me and I am totally shocked.  But I'm getting ready to leave for London and I still think this guy is somewhat ok and well he and I will probably go out for a little while, I mean he gives great massages and is a great cook and is so nurturing and we have great sex, how bad could he be.  I'll just go out with him for a couple of months.

But while I'm here in London it starts to eat at me so I e-mail Bill and I ask, what is it you don't like about him and he says,  "He is self satisfied, smug, insensitive though he knows how to get people to like him if he feels there is an advantage (massage, cooking, etc.).  His arrogance turns people off and his know-it-all attitude is a bore...

So I ask Bill if I should break up with him sooner rather than later and Bill tells me, "Well, Honey, if it is working for you it could last for a while but you were never one to continue what you know could be better....  might as well have a clean start for a new year! 

So then I know that I need to break up with him right away, but do I break up with him while I'm in London, or do I break up with him once I get home.  I write about it, I pray about it, I check my gut feeling about it.  My gut says to call him up right now and break up with him. 

It is 1:45am Los Angeles time.   I call and he has just gotten home.  Not to his home, to my house.  I forgot to mention that he was house sitting at my house.  I have 8 cats and I asked him to house sit even though I have other people taking care of them as well.  I just thought the cats could use the extra love. 

Anyway, I just blurt it out straight up, "I have to break up with you" and he says, "what, but I've already given up my apartment".  And I say, "What, I never asked you to move in with me" and he says, "I know, but I was so sure about us".  And I said, "you've only known me a week!!!!" 

At this time I am so freaked out I just want him out of my house now.  And then he says, "I'm just going to throw my life away; I don't even want to go on living."  So I said, "If you are going to threaten to commit suicide, then fuck you!" and then I hung up on him.  I was not going to put up with his sniveling self-pity, I put up with enough of that with my ex-husband.

So I called my ex-boyfriend and told him to go over to my house and collect my key from this guy and get him out of my house.  Luckily my ex-boyfriend and I are still good friends and he went over there and got this guy out of my house.  I did call him and let him know that "my brother" was coming over and that he should gather all his stuff and that he was going to have to leave the house that night.

The next day I called my mom and I told her the story and I told her that I had her "picker" and that mine was broken like hers was.  EEK!  But at least I have my good friend Bill Burns to give me a heads up and let me know when a guy I date is not the right guy for me.  I think I'll run the name of any guy I date before I go out on the date instead of a week later.

Ok.  Lesson learned.

I went to the gym today.  It's always interesting to see different women in the locker room.  I saw this cute little Mexican girl; she had just come out of the shower and had a towel wrapped around her body.  When she put on her bra, I found it very odd that she put it on over her towel so as not to expose her naked breast.  I thought to myself, I wonder if people in Boston are just more conservative about being nude.  I started looking around the locker room to see if other people were being as modest. 

I walked over to the toilet so I could peruse the women in the locker room.  There was only one naked lady.  She was standing in a very weird position trying to get her foot up to one of those electric hand dryers.  She looked very awkward and strange.  But still I had to check her out.

I went pee and then walked back to my locker.  That same foot drying lady was standing by her locker.  She was still the only one that was naked, so I had to get more of a look.  She was a very nerdy, intellectual type.  Her titties were small and a little saggy with big brown nipples, which was probably from having kids.  But her bottom was really nice.  It was naturally firm and round and it just looked so out of place on her.  I couldn't stop from staring at her and at the same time I had to pretend that I wasn't looking. 

I just can't help it.  I'm such a voyeur in woman's locker room.  I love to look at other women's bodies.  It's so interesting for me to see other naked bodies; especially ones that aren't used of being naked.  It's not that it's a turn on, but more of a curiosity.  I just find them fascinating.

The last locker room I was in was a popular spa in West Hollywood.  There were so many good looking girls with nice bodies.  They were all walking around like they were on camera, but at the same time I could tell they were a bit self conscious about being naked.  Some of them had these unbelievable naturally beautiful bodies, and some of them I could tell that they starved themselves, worked out compulsively and had a boob job.  And me, I can't help but sneaking a look at them.  I love seeing non-porno naked bodies.   There's something so intriguing about seeing naked women that not a lot of other people have seen without their clothes on.