Title: Stan Helsing
Directed by: Bo Zenga
Written by: Bo Zenga
Starring: Steve Howey, Diora Baird, Kenan Thompson, Desi Lydic, and Leslie Nielsen
Release date: 2009
DVD Distributor: Anchor Bay
MPAA Rating: R
Reviewed by: Will
KillingBoxx Score: 3 Cleavers, 2 for the girls, one for the fat man in the Superman costume!

I knew better, but like your average stereotypical loser in a horror film, I went ahead and went in anyway. The result, the slow and painful death of many of my remaining brain cells, all veterans of some of the stupidest films ever made! As a horror fan, I knew I had to go in, I had to know, had to see for myself if it really was as bad as I suspected it was going to be! It is, and it is now my duty to inform anyone who will listen: “for the love of (insert favorite deity here), don’t get this film! If you see it, back away slowly, do not make eye contact, find an adult and get as far away from it as possible!

Written and Directed by Bo Zenga, (I know, I know, I rented a film directed by someone named Bo Zenga, I deserved exactly what I got) whose previous credits include having written Soul Plane (again, I know, stop laughing at me, I didn’t laugh at you when you rented Twilight, ok yes I did, so this is payback, shut up!). So here I am with this Bo Zenga joint and I am hoping that it might be amusing, my fingers are crossed, I’ve thrown salt over my shoulder, and boy am I glad I didn’t tie my dick in a (small) knot!

Often I enjoy a good spoof, Student Bodies, Brutal Massacre, Idle Hands, Cutting Room, Fido, Shaun of the Dead, all fun takes making light of many of my favorite films. I came into this quagmire of banality with the hopes it might follow suit. What I got however was a ninety-minute brain stain that quivered weakly to begin with and then went as limp as a tranny’s dick in a roomful of Nuns!

The scenario introduces us to ‘Stan Helsing’ (Steve Howey), a video store clerk charged with delivering a bag of movies on Halloween night. His friends, Kenan Thompson as ‘Teddy’, Diora Baird as ‘Nadine’ and Desi Lydic as ‘Mia’, aren’t crazy about the idea but agree to the detour when Stan explains his job is on the line. Unfortunately, their arrival at the gated community where the movies are to be delivered is the apex of what little humor this film had to offer. From this point, the audience is left to attempt finding amusement in poorly written jokes in one pointless scene after another. Sure Leslie Nielsen is on hand and in drag, but nothing happens amusing enough to warrant a laugh. What we are offered instead is a rapping Freddy Kruger, a Jewish Michael Myers, Leatherface with a leaf blower, Pinhead with tacks, and an annoying forty year old Chucky doll that makes you want to get off the couch and strangulate your own television!

Stan it turns out is the long lost descendant of the legendary monster slaying family, and he must fulfill the town’s prophecy by routing the bad guys and saving the town from eternal darkness, or something to that effect. Believe me when I tell you that it sounds a hell of a lot better than it is! Diora Baird and Desi Lydic are both amazingly beautiful women and Kenan Thompson has the comedic chops sure to guarantee he won’t ever have trouble getting work, I just hope that all three turn down any future offers from Mr. Zenga and associates! This is a film that may have been an amusing short, or a music video but the attempt to turn something this lame into a feature is nothing more than a money-grabbing slap to the consumers face. You have been warned; proceed at your own risk.


 

Title: Defiance
Directed By: Edward Zwick
Written by: Clayton Frohman, Edward Zwick (adapted from the book by Nochama Tec “Defiance: The Bielski Partisans”)
Starring: Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber, Jaime Bell, George McKay
Release Date: 2008
DVD Distributor: Paramount
MPAA Rating: R
Reviewed By: Rock
KillingBoxx Score: 10 Cleavers

Over the years, many films were and are being made in an attempt to give the world movie-going populace some sort of glimpse into what atrocities occurred with the Jewish population.  I have always had a soft spot for these sorts of films, not so much as a morbid fascination, but more of a curiosity about real human evil.  It is nothing short of remarkable, in that human beings found unique ways in which to survive in an unimaginable scenario to those of us in a free society.  Merely seventy years ago, a part of western civilization sought to extinguish an entire branch of its unique ethnicity in a vainglorious attempt to 'cleanse' itself.  It would be ignorant, to say the least, that movements such as this no longer exist today, but, that is the essence that makes films such as Defiance all the more important.  It makes us as people, realize the stupidity and horror of the human condition, and in another sense entirely, see the ability to overcome against all odds.

Long overdue, but, with some fault, Defiance is based on the true to life accounts of the Bielski brothers, whom rescued some 1200 Polish Jews from the German invasion of Poland, taking refuge in the Nalibokow Forests of the Nowogrodek region.  Roughly two weeks after Germany invaded Poland from the west, the Soviet Union followed suit by invading Poland from the east.  This was the result of the anti-aggression treaty (the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact), between Germany and the Soviet Union.  The pact was established after the Soviet government had failed to form alliances with France, Poland, and the United Kingdom regarding German intentions in the Baltic region.

Caught in the middle of the politics and stability of the region, were the Polish citizenry, whose non-Jewish members faced questionable treatment from the Russian invaders, while the Jewish population faced extermination and death camps from Hitler's troops.

Defiance belies the effort of four brothers, who at times are at odds with one another in regards to their mission.  Tuvia (Daniel Craig) puts the survival of the group first, and seeks to maintain some sort of collective community, where everyone shares the labor and rations.  He is the eldest of the brothers, and bares the burden of responsibility for what is left of his family.  He is most often in conflict with Zus (Liev Schreiber), whom seeks revenge on their enemies for what evil they have wrought upon their people.  Zus takes up with the local Soviet Otriad in order to fight whatever Germans he can, but, no matter how much valor and distinction he and his followers exalt, they are primarily viewed as lowly Jews in the eyes of their Soviet comrades.

Amidst the feuding elder brothers stand Asael (Jaimie Bell) and Aron (George McKay).  Aron is the youngest, and not a major contributor to the central plot of the film.  Asael, however, is eager to prove himself to his brothers, if he can get them to stop fighting each another.  Peace within the community is fragile, and without order, 'mob rules' mentality will likely win the day.  With a bastion of exiles including women, children, intellectuals, and the elderly, it would be easy for the strong to prey upon the weak without the Bielski brothers' protection.  Asael knows survival centers on the reconciliation of his elder brothers.

Defiance is interesting enough on its own when it is perceived as an action flick, but, when viewed as a drama, it loses some points.  When viewed as a historical drama, it justifiably garners some criticism for its lack of depicting the atrocities committed against the collaborative element within Poland by the resistive survivors and the Soviets.  The story of the Bielski's and their accomplishments during this period of time, however, does merit telling, and with a run-time close to two and a half hours, it manages to be, above all else, entertaining and worthy of watching.

Edward Zwick, who has directed such films as Glory (1989), Legends of the Fall (1994), The Last Samurai (2003), and Blood Diamond (2006), shows himself as amply capable of rendering a story such as Defiance, and working with a cast the caliber of this projects.  After viewing the film, and taking some time to reflect, it seemed as though the character interactions were too much to aptly fit into an already long film.  The movie realistically could have used at least another hour to shore-up this shortcoming.  Actors within the film perform to expectations, despite my previous comments regarding run-time. 

Two time Academy Award nominee Eduardo Serra provides decent cinematography in his depiction of this tale.  Though the movie takes place deep in the forest for much of the runtime, one should not expect too much in the way of sprawling landscapes.  Battle scenes are vividly depicted, and the film is fast paced and interesting to view.

Defiance was nominated for an Golden Globe Award as well as an Academy Award for Best Original Score by James Newton Howard.  Newton previously was nominated for Academy Awards on no less than six separate occasions, citing the films The Prince of Tides (1991), The Fugitive (1993), Junior (1994), My Best Friend's Wedding (1997), The Village (2004), and Michael Clayton (2007), as well as numerous other awards and nominations regarding various other projects.
 
I did like Defiance, and recommend viewing it to anyone in the mood for an action picture with depth.  Though it has too much action and violence to be a drama, too much drama to be an action film, and strays too much from some factual events for it to be regarded as a historical document, the story of the Bielski brothers caught my attention enough to look farther into the matter.  Special features on the disc might also entertain viewers, as well, as they further explore the lives of the brothers from the accounts of their children.
      

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Title: Albino Alligator....

Directed By: Kevin Spacey....

Written by: Christian Forte....

Starring: Matt Dillon, ....Gary.... Sinise, Faye Dunaway, William Fichtner, Viggo Mortensen....

Release Date: 1997....

DVD Distributor: Miramax....

MPAA Rating: R....

Reviewed By: Rock....

KillingBoxx Score: 10 Cleavers....

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Kevin Spacey makes his directorial debut in this crime drama featuring an impeccable cast of talent.  Set predominantly within the confines of a prohibition era bar, three fugitives find themselves taking hostages while contemplating their futile escape.  Among the small time criminals are brothers ..Milo.. (Gary Sinise) and Dova (Matt Dillon), and Dova's dim-witted sociopath cohort Law (William Fichtner).  Among the hostages we have the bars proprietor Dino (M. Emmett Walsh), cocktail waitress Janet (Faye Dunaway), patrons Jack (John Spencer), Danny (Skeet Ulrich), and the silent and mysterious Guy (Viggo Mortensen).  With the police and the B.A.T.F. waiting directly outside, tensions mount between the felons, and amongst the hostages themselves.

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The film does have its downside, as Christian Forte's script bellies some ambiguity within the writing of this tale.  Luckily, most of this is forgivable due to intelligent casting choices and fine performances from the central cast.  I can easily see why director Spacey picked a script such as this for his first project in the chair, as the intimate setting forces a climate of believable dialog to ensue.  The final delivery is essential to the success or failure of the director, at least credit-wise, and in my opinion, his efforts shored up any misgivings the plot might mitigate.

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Matt Dillon performs admirably as the younger brother yearning to call the shots.  He hasn't the intellect of his older brother ..Milo.., but, he does have a conscience and a heart.  Pulling at his dark side is his accomplice Law, who is willing to sacrifice anyone for personal gain.  Law and ..Milo.. have a personal hatred and distrust for one another, and Dova is all that stands between them.  He hasn't long to decide which of the two will influence the final outcome of their predicament.

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This being said, Albino Alligator would have lost great ground if not for the despicable countenance of Law.  William Fichtner's portrayal of the unbalanced and not so stupid villain carries a great deal of the film throughout its duration.  Had another actor assumed the role, the film might not have had the desired impact.  Not of the same star-power of his co-stars, Fichtner matches performances on the same level, and provides viewers with a watchable, cerebral, and believable account of this dark tale.

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Though actress Faye Dunaway was nominated for a Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress for her role in this film, it was not a fair account of her performance.  I have to admit that I am not this thespians biggest fan, but, her account of her character was an honest and believable delivery.  She has had better appointments in her illustrious career, though; the chance to perform under the direction of Kevin Spacey must have been too good to refuse.  This would not be Dunaway's first encounter with the Razzie Award, as she claimed the prize of Worst Actress for her performance in Mommie Dearest (1981), a film she blamed for ruining her career.

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Not to downplay her ability, she also won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe Award for Best Actress for her performance in Network (1976).  Dunaway also has had numerous Academy Award, Golden Globe, BAFTA, Emmy, CableACE, Satellite, and Screen Actors Guild Award nominations over the years for her performances in such works as Bonnie and Clyde (1967), Puzzle of a Downfall Child (1970), Chinatown (1974), Three Days of the Condor (1975), Ellis Island (1984), Barfly (1987), The Twilight of the Golds (1997), Gia (1998), and Running Mates (2000).....

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I would also like to affirm that character actors such as M. Emmet Walsh and Jack Spencer also provide more than just satisfactory performances in this film.  Fans of other actors such as Viggo Mortensen and Joe Mantegna may be disappointed by their smaller roles, however, their performances are what they are. 

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For the year in which this film was conceived, Albino Alligator should entertain audiences interested in the crime-drama, thriller categories of film.  Some Noir enthusiasts might entertain this film, as well, provided that they don't expect the full post neo-noir treatment, as far as the cinematography goes.

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Title: Prom Night
Directed by: Paul Lynch
Written by: William Gray, Robert Guza Jr.
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Leslie Nielsen
Release date: 1980
DVD Distributor: Anchor Bay
MPAA Rating: R
Reviewed by: Will
KillingBoxx Score: 9 Cleavers

The year was 1980 and yours truly was only fifteen years old when this film rolled into theatres as part of the first wave of the slasher phenomenon. Opening night I was there, high as a kite (remember I was fifteen, I did everything high as a kite), the popcorn was buttery, the soda cold, and of course I was dateless because to quote Aerosmith “I was a high school loser who never made it with the ladies”. On this particular evening however I was not in the least bit upset about that because this particular film starred the one and only JLC, Jamie Lee Curtis. My crush was huge and JLC never looked better than she did in this film. I could not get real boob to save my pathetic life so I reveled in the opportunity to stare longingly at the most perfect pair that ever jiggled!

I wasn’t expecting much in regard to the story but I quickly found this one particularly engaging. In the annals of the slasher film, there has rarely been a masked killer with a better motive. This is one of the films redeeming qualities and has certainly been an invaluable asset in assuring its long shelf life. The story is relatively solid and in conjunction with a top-notch cast, the plot holes are easy to overlook. The sad opening sequence is well orchestrated and manages to capture the cruelties that children’s games sometimes take on when unsupervised. There isn’t any unnatural evil brewing, just stupidity that results in a tragedy. The kids act like kids, and the investigating adults jump to conclusions that unwittingly allow the real culprits to remain free.

Flashing forward six years, the film reintroduces viewers to the same children responsible for young ‘Robin Hammond’s’ (Tammy Bourne) death. ‘Nick’ (Casey Stevens), ‘Wendy’ (Anne Marie Martin), ‘Jude’ (Joy Thompson), and ‘Kelly’ (Marybeth Rubens) are grown now, ready to graduate. The story resumes as several of the group get phone calls warning them they are going to die. We know all to well why they are being targeted, but not by whom. This ploy works very well here making a number of the characters prime suspects with ample motive. Thanks to Lynch’s subtle handling of the story, the reveal is kept under wraps until the end and serves to heighten the overall dramatic effect. The distinct lack of a high body count or copious amounts of blood put this slasher firmly into a more hybrid murder mystery cross than many of its ilk. While several sequences in particular should be noted for having set some standards many lesser examples of the sub-genre went on to copy. For instance, the chase sequence through the abandoned corridors as Prom music continues pulsating in the background is particularly effective, and has been emulated repeatedly over the years.

This film should also be noted for having allowed the short fat guy with glasses, ‘Slick’ (Sheldon Rybowski) to be the only guy who actually managed to get laid throughout the course of the film. Myself, and probably every other loser in the audience loved this character, his shaggin wagon, History book full of joints, and way with the women! Slick was the man and stands as such thirty years later. We also mustn’t forget ‘Lou’ (David Mucci) who managed to channel every bully in every high school from Sacramento to Ontario! This guy is a blow hard asshole so effective you can’t help but laugh at his antics which alienate the character while at the same time imbuing him with just enough loutish charm to keep him grounded in reality. The interaction between him and ‘Wendy’ is classic and comic without being slapstick.

Prom Night is by no means a classic film, but as far as low budget slasher fare is concerned, it stands the test of time well, even with the heinous disco soundtrack that permeates your gray matter and will leave you humming the featured dance track “Prom Night”, for days after seeing the film. My favorite scene is in the girls locker room when the mirror is broken. JLC goes to investigate with her shirt unbuttoned, she is wearing a bra but it only serves to heighten the effect, as I said, most perfect pair that ever bounced! 91 minutes of pure fun is the best way to describe a film that will always hold a special place in my horror loving heart.







 

Title: The Pawnbroker
Directed By: Sidney Lumet
Written by: Morton S. Fine, David Friedkin (adapted from the novel by Edward Lewis Wallant)
Starring: Rod Steiger, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Brock Peters, Jaime Sanchez, Thelma Oliver
Release Date: 1965
DVD Distributor: Republic Pictures
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Reviewed By: Rock
KillingBoxx Score: 13 Cleavers

The first film of its kind, The Pawnbroker is a controversial portrayal from a Holocaust survivor's point of view.  It is also the first mainstream post-code movie to garner Production Code approval for  scenes displaying bare breasts.  Launching actor Rod Steiger to international stardom and A-List status, this project might have come into being in a far different light.  Director Arthur Hill and Steiger had initially been involved with the pre-production of this picture circa 1962, but, upon Hill's firing, Sidney Lumet desired James Mason for the role of the cynical embittered survivor.  It was not until some rehearsal discussions that the two mutually agreed upon the characterization of The Pawnbroker, that Lumet felt comfortable in casting Steiger.

Being my first encounter with Director Lumet, this is by no means an easy film to watch.  Taking place in East Harlem, it is fraught with images and flashbacks of the concentration camp, the cattle car, and Sol Nazerman (Steiger) witnessing the rape of his wife by their Nazi jailers. The supporting cast is comprised of realistic people, who are not “dolled up” for the camera.  Life in this setting is not kind, and the people of this city are predominantly impoverished.
  
Composer Quincy Jones, whom illustrates an appropriate atmosphere with his jazz meanderings throughout this picture, eloquently endows the soundtrack.  The cinematography is provided by Oscar winning cameraman Boris Kaufman, one of three Russian born, Jewish film-making brothers, whom dabbled in the avant-garde venues of motion pictures in the early part of the 20th century. This in conjunction with Lumet’s style, projects the incredible performance of Rod Steiger, which any true fan of the thespian, must appreciate.

Centering on Sol Nazerman, and his indifference to the people in his life, The Pawnbroker is the study of one mans struggle with his own lost humanity.  He views the people who patronize his business as “scum”, and thinks little of the problems they endure.  Idolizing him is his employee Jesus Ortiz (Jaime Sanchez), a young Puerto Rican man who wishes to learn the business, but is given the same indifference from Nazerman that he directs to the other residents of the neighborhood.  This same disregard is also present in his dealings with ‘Marilyn Birchfield’ (Geraldine Fitzgerald), a social worker romantically interested in the troubled pawnbroker.

Sol lives with and supports his sister ‘Bertha’ (Nancy R. Pollock) and her family, as well as his friends widow ‘Tessie’ (Marketa Kimbrell) and her ailing father ‘Mendel’ (Baruch Lumet).  He manages this financial burden with profits from his pawnshop, the success of which is not determined by his poverty stricken clientele, but, rather by its usage as a front for a local mobster, ‘Rodriguez’ (Brock Peters).  It isn't until the anniversary of his families demise, that Sol learns of the origin of his funding, which is prostitution. Burdened with the memory of the indignity his wife faced, he finally makes a stand against Rodriguez, as the guilt of his survival has become intolerable.

Born in Ireland, Geraldine Fitzgerald moved to England in the early part of the 1930's and quickly became renowned as a promising young actress.  By the end of the decade she had migrated to New York, and her performances on Broadway were quickly noticed.  Signed to Warner Brothers by producer Hal B. Wallis, Geraldine managed an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress regarding her performance in Wuthering Heights (1939), as well as securing prominence in Dark Victory (1939).  Her career into the 1940's brought many opportunities, but her battles with Jack Warner caused her suspensions and cost her a prominent role in The Maltese Falcon (1945).  For the remainder of that decade, her roles dropped to secondary parts, until a lack of opportunities hampered her career throughout the 1950's.
 
In the 1960's, Geraldine's career saw new life as a character actress, a success that would last throughout the 1970's and 1980's.  Her talents also made themselves apparent on stage and television, with her being the recipient of two Emmy Awards, and the first female to achieve a Tony Award for Directing (Mass Appeal-1982).  In 1991, however, she passed after a long battle with Alzheimer’s disease.

Though the storyline may be tough for some viewers this film does present some very strong performances.  This is definitely is not a date film, however anyone interested in seeing actors truly delivering the goods, should check this film out. In 2008, The Pawnbroker was entered into the National Film Registry for its cultural and aesthetic significance.

      

Haunted Attractions of New England



Fright Kingdom of Nashua N.H.

If like me, you are a fan of a well-done haunted house attraction, Fright Kingdom located just off Route 3 at 12 Simon Street in Nashua N.H. is one you do not want to miss. Located in a former industrial building the entire facility is indoors guaranteeing weather to never be an issue, rain or shine you can still get your spook on! There is ample parking and attendants to make sure you don’t get lost on your way to the scares, you should however beware of an axe wielding clown often seen wandering in the shadows outside!

As soon as you enter the building to purchase your tickets, it is apparent that a tremendous amount of preparation went into creating just the right atmosphere. Strange characters abound even as you enter through the hall of Tarantula’s before queuing up in groups to enter the first of three differently themed sections of a haunted maze!

The first leg of your tour begins with Bloodmare Manor, a Victorian era mansion rumored to be the home of a bloodthirsty family of cannibals. A creepy butler escorts you through the entrance and into a foyer where a little family history is given before you are turned loose to wander the hallways and rooms. Filled with all manner of freakish abnormalities and things that go bump in the dark, it is immediately apparent these people love what they are doing!

What struck me instantly was the sheer amount of detail put into every facet of the attraction. No amount of detail has been spared to create the illusion; these folks take their scares seriously. Every step of the way there are new surprises waiting to leap out at you or appear suddenly at your back breathing down your neck! The shows performers are not just going through the motions, they obviously relish every moment and work hard to ensure that each group through gets the same thrill as the one before. Groups are carefully spaced and synchronized to make sure your party does not miss a thing.

Next up is the 3-D Psycho Circus! This neon slice of garish sleight of hand is really unlike anything you are likely to have encountered before. Given glasses upon entrance, you cross the threshold into a clowns Technicolor nightmare of menacing greasepaint and all manner of circus themed ghoulishness. The 3-D heightens the experience so once again be prepared because you never know what is going to pop out at you!

A hardly haunted matinee is also available to those of you with small children who want the thrill without the trauma! These shows are available Sundays from one to four in the afternoon.

Finally, after escaping the circus you still have to make it through the Vampire’s castle!  A dead maid greets you at the entrance and after ushering you into the parlor has you wait a moment while she announces your arrival. After she has forewarned your host, you are once again free to roam the castles passages and experience all of the grim delights! 

When and more importantly if, you make it through, there are concessions waiting. You can have your palm read, meet a celebrity, score an autograph or get your picture with a python or wandering ghoul! All in all, a hell of a fun night out! Get off the couch and head over to Fright Kingdom tonight to see for yourself what the buzz is about, as they said in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, “don’t dream it, be it”!

Fright Kingdom already voted as one of America’s best-haunted attractions is an experience that keeps improving year round. Once the season has ended Fright Kingdom remains intact and is worked on all year to guarantee that it will keep improving with each passing season, we here at KillingBoxx are proud to add our voice to those who are already singing the praises of this exceptional haunted house! Don’t take my word for it though, go check it out!

Artist: Jim Carroll Band
Album: Catholic Boy
Release Date: 1980
Label: ATKO
Reviewed By: sonofabelch
Killingboxx Score: 8 Cleavers

I had, by coincidence, started this review on Sep 11th of this year and then shelved it when it was about half done figuring I would finish it the next day. As it turned out, I had a few emergency naps that attacked me and kept me from getting off my ass to finish it. Later on that following day, I had heard that Jim Carroll died. Not that I think I had anything to do with it mind you, but it freaked me out just enough to cause me to put it down for a few weeks until the heat blew over.

I first heard this one at Will’s house sometime during our high school years and instantly loved it for what it accomplished. It was right up my alley featuring simple, straightforward rock beats and plenty of weirdo lyrics to keep my little (key word being little. Ed.) mind occupied while baked off my ass. At first, I knew nothing of his poetic work prior to the album, or that Anastasia’s favorite actor would one day portray him in the filmed version of his own Basketball Diaries memoir. All I knew at the time was that the song “People Who Died” kicked ass and that I was amazed that one person could know so many people who died in fucked up ways at such a young age.

Naturally, I had to buy it (or steal it from Will) and constantly play the hell out of it until I knew every corner of the album by heart.

It begins rather blandly with the song “Wicked Gravity” and then launches into one of my favorites, “Three Sisters”.  Continuing with a few more tunes that are serviceable it finally unleashes “People Who Died” upon your ears. Jesus, I remember sitting there and playing that song repeatedly until I had all the names memorized and could sing it without the song playing in the background. I am not sure what possessed him to write it all out, some sort of therapy I guess, but it still amazes me to this day.

The album continues with a few more attempts at Carroll musicafying (yes, I invented that word bitches, and its protected property!) some poetry, and then arrives at another of my favorites, “It’s Too Late”.

Over all, Catholic Boy stands as a solid work by Carroll in an attempt to put some of his poems to music. He would follow this album up with two more over the next few years before realizing that the experiment just wasn’t working, at which point he returned full time to his writing and teaching. Later in life, he toured the spoken word circuit reading excerpts from his latest, but unreleased book.

If you are looking for the weird lyrics of an Andy Warhol-esque prodigy set to straightforward rock and roll, this is the one to get. You could get the other two albums, but after listening to this one, you will be somewhat disappointed and probably file them on the shelf. This one, however, will stick to your guts like granny’s potato pie.

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Saturday Fright Special presents “Brides of Dracula” at the Colonial Theater, ....Keene.. ..N.H..... ....

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Title: Brides of Dracula....

Directed by: Terrence Fisher

Written by: Peter Bryan, Edward Percy, Anthony Hinds, Jimmy Sangster

Starring: Peter Cushing, Yvonne Montlaur, David Peel, Martita Hunt, Freda Jackson

Release date: 1960

Theatrical

Not Rated

Reviewed by: Will

Killingboxx Score: Film 8 Cleavers, Presentation 10 Cleavers!

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This past Saturday evening 10/24/09, I had the distinct pleasure of attending a showing of the Hammer films classic, Brides of Dracula! The film was brought to us by the fantastic folks from Saturday Fright Special in yet another of their Spooktacular’s. You may remember that I wrote up their last soirée when they rolled out King Kong vs. Godzilla. This time around instead of Kaiju we got bloodsuckers, and let me tell you it was a blast getting to see this classic on the big screen! There is nothing quite as spectacular to a cinephile as getting to see a gem like this one in its original 35mm format. This was made even more impressive by the theater they chose to show it in, The Colonial. This is a venue with a rich history and all the trappings guaranteed to amp the proceeding’s with a certain air of authenticity one would undoubtedly find lacking in a modern multiplex theater. The Colonial takes you back to childhood and the thrill of a Saturday matinee monster movie.

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Horror films are best when viewed in the company of an audience, especially when there is a certain amount of camp value to the proceedings to make things even more fun! Originally released in 1960, Brides of Dracula stars the one and only Peter Cushing as one of his most famous and popular characters, ‘Dr. Van Helsing’. You won’t find his nemesis Dracula on hand in this installment, but rest assured there are plenty of other fanged menaces here to keep even the most avid connoisseur of vampires happy and on the edge of their seat!

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The story revolves around schoolteacher ‘Marianne Danielle’ (Yvonne Monlaur), who is in route to her first teaching job at a Transylvanian finishing school. When the coach she is travelling in stops at an inn, Marianne finds herself stranded without lodging for the night. The innkeepers offer to feed her but have no available rooms. It is at this point that ‘Baroness Meinster’ (Martita Hunt) arrives at the ..Inn.. and offers to put the young schoolteacher up for the night in her chateau. The Innkeepers attempt to help Marianne at this point, but it is too late and the Baroness takes the naïve young teacher with her!

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After arriving at the chateau, the Baroness explains that she has a mentally ill son who must remain confined to his quarters lest he injure himself or others. Needless to say it isn’t long before Ms. Danielle is hoodwinked by the shackled young Baron to unlock his chains, inadvertently loosing yet another vampire to wreak havoc in the Transylvanian countryside! Luckily, for the citizenry of this sleepy hamlet, ‘Dr. Van Helsing’ (Peter Cushing) just happens to be passing through at the same time and given the opportunity to examine the first of Baron Meinster’s victims, discovers he is again, faced with a diabolical creature of the night!

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This was Cushing’s second foray in the role of Van Helsing and despite the lack of the imposing presence of Cushing’s usual nemesis Christopher Lee as Dracula, the film was still a triumph at the box office. This guaranteed a string of entries that were to follow in the Hammer Dracula series. As I stated above there is a certain camp value to this film, primarily due to the excellent character turns from David Peel as ‘Baron Meinster’, Freda Jackson as maniacal housekeeper ‘Greta’, Henry Oscar as ‘Herr Otto Lang’ the pompous schoolmaster who kisses Van Helsing’s ass, and Miles Malleson in a delightful comic turn as local physician ‘Dr. Tobler’. The excellent cast combined with Director Terrence Fisher’s undisputed mastery of the cinematic grim make for a surprisingly fun romp through the gothic countryside!

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As is the case with previous Spooktaculars, the evening began with an introduction from Scarewolf himself, followed by vintage trailers, TV ads, and a cartoon like the good old days! Half way through the proceedings, intermission was called and masked wrestler Santoro took the stage. Aided by the lovely Dementia and the brides of Dracula, Santoro pulled winners for the evening’s raffles. Prizes this time around included Saturday Fright Special T-shirts, Blu- Ray discs supplied by ....Anchor.. ..Bay...., and one of kind drawings from comic artist S.R. Bisette and more! To cap the festivities, patrons wearing costumes got the chance to strut their Halloween stuff for additional prizes!

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The crowd was a mixed group of fright fans of all ages who came in the spirit of camaraderie to celebrate the season and enjoy a classic vampire picture in its intended venue. I think I can safely speak for a majority of them in saying, thank you Saturday Fright Special for providing yet another fine night of entertainment!  

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Title: Drag Me To Hell
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Written by: Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi
Starring: Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver, Dileep Rao, David Paymer, Adriana Barraza
Release Date: 2009
DVD Distributor: Universal
Unrated Director’s cut
Reviewed by: Will
Killingboxx Score: 9 Cleavers

After a long hiatus, Sam Raimi has returned to his roots stirring up a completely new nest of angry spirits! The Spider-Man films are cool and the more serious projects that he has been producing for the last twenty years have been excellent as a whole but let’s face it, we all miss his unique way with evil entities and the hapless schmucks who are forced to deal with them. Released under Raimi’s own Ghost House Pictures, which is a division of Universal, Raimi has come full circle and for the most part proven he still has the touch required to deliver the groceries.

Based upon the relatively dismal output from Ghost House I must admit to being somewhat skeptical regarding this film. This skepticism cost me quite a few classic big screen scares that those of you intrepid enough to venture out to the box office were able to enjoy as intended. Loud and proud, Drag Me To Hell is a great little drop the popcorn and squeeze your girlfriends tit too hard kind of blast best appreciated in a theatre. There are a number of excellent jump scares timed to throw you off, that succeed masterfully in a way it that has been sorely missing from genre cinema for quite some time. Modern audiences are jaded from the home entertainment boom that made horror films readily available anytime you want one. Back in the day, most jump tactics worked because one only saw a good horror film occasionally, making it much easier to achieve this desired effect.

The setup is a simple one featuring Alison Lohman as ‘Christine Brown’, a bank employee desperate for a promotion, who makes the unwise decision to foreclose on an elderly gypsy woman, ‘Mrs. Ganush’ (Lorna Raver). Mrs. Ganush has had two extensions on her mortgage already and Christine believes that if she shows her boss ‘Mr. Jacks’ (David Paymer) that she is capable of making tough decisions, she will be promoted. Christine may or may not get the promotion but it really doesn’t matter when she is cursed to be dragged to hell in three days time! Never fuck with a gypsy, apparently Christine never saw Thinner!

Aside from Raimi’s taught direction and typically above average camera angles, this film relies on its excellent cast to deliver believably authentic performances that make the characters spring to life. There is not a weak link in this group and because of this the story, which is admittedly thin, still manages to come across effectively. Alison Lohman’s ‘Christine’ is likable but weak enough to find herself in this terrible position. Her boyfriend ‘Clay Dalton’ played by the always-likable Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers, Dodgeball, Galaxy Quest) turns in yet another spot on performance that easily grounds the film in his portrayal of Clay, a privileged Momma’s boy who just wants to do what is right and support his girlfriend to the end. The stand out however, is Lorna Raver who owns this film with her roll as ‘Mrs. Ganush’, the shamed Gypsy woman. Raver’s Ganush needs to be inducted into the hag hall of fame! This bitch is badass, and Raver lets fly with wonderful abandon that gives the scares the added oomph it takes to make the film memorable. The parking garage fight alone makes the film worth watching!

First Trick ‘r Treat and now Drag Me To Hell, Halloween has not had such a wonderful lineup to work with in years! This year you can add a couple of new titles to the classics for your Halloween marathon. For once, we have not been inundated with the same old same old (studios please take note), it is so refreshing to have something new to celebrate with!


 

Title: Trick ‘r Treat
Directed by: Michael Dougherty
Written by: Michael Dougherty
Starring: Dylan Baker, Rochelle Aytes, Anna Paquin and Brian Cox
Release date: 2009
DVD Distributor: Warner Bros.
MPAA Rating: R
Reviewed by: Will
Killingboxx Score: 10 Cleavers

Two years ago, I began to hear buzz about a movie called Trick ‘r Treat. Not the usual amped up studio buzz one expects but rather a quiet fan circle buzz. This is the kind of sound I’m looking for; leaked observations that speak far more truth than any add machine could ever produce. The whispers indicated that Warner Bros. had a monster on their hands, a real, thoroughly original film that wasn’t a fucking sequel or yet another tedious, poorly produced remake of a better film. Word had it that this was a keeper, the kind of film horror fans would want to purchase and add to their collections as opposed to renting, scratching and returning. Films of this caliber, produced by studios, are rare beasts that only rear their heads once in a great while. Like every one else I began to salivate in anticipation, a real Halloween movie being released at Halloween. I waited for the theatre announcement, there is something very special about going to the theatre for a new horror film at this time of year, it isn’t anything palpable that I can isolate and describe, it is just a feeling that all is right with the world….for a change. Sadly, it didn’t happen. Trick ‘r Treat just disappeared and the rumors danced to and fro, it was pulled because it sucked, it was pulled because it needed some fine tuning, and so on and so forth ad infinitum. Months went by and myriad new rumors erupted that I couldn’t care less about, let alone try to follow, horror films are always given short shrift by studios. They make gobs of money but are treated like the child molesters of the film community, I doubted any and all of the blurbs I was hearing and wrote it off.

2008 came and went and despite occasionally hearing the title, no concrete word came regarding the fate of this film. My thoughts were that it had probably tested so poorly that it was canned, and would not see the light of day until the studio eventually sold the rights and it showed up on some small distributor’s release schedule five years from now. This of course turned out to be far from the truth, two years after the fact, Trick ‘r Treat has finally arrived! Not in theatres where it should be, but at least it is here for all of us to see.

I am being truthful when I say that I did not want to like this film, my opinion was that it was going to be a disaster from the word go and it would be readily apparent why it had never been released. Popping it in my machine I sat back preparing to sharpen my knives and get ready for the gutting I was sure was coming. Stoically I waited for it to fall apart, I am a movie nerd,  historically this is usually what happens when the anticipation level is this high, there is no way it can possibly live up to two years of build up. I am a movie nerd, but I am a humble bumble, and will admit when I am being an ass, I was and am, an ass, Trick ‘r Treat was worth the annoying wait! This is a hell of a fun Halloween movie and the perfect salve to all of the fucking garbage remakes the studios have been shoving down genre fans throats for far too long.

Trick ‘r Treat is an anthology film of four tales surrounding Halloween in a stereotypical small American town. Woven together the four stories tell one larger tale encompassing this community that takes its Halloween very seriously! Unlike a good majority of anthology films, Trick ‘r Treat is able to hold itself together throughout all four installments. Usually you get one or two solid entries with the remainder amounting to nothing more than filler to pad the films run time, but that is not the case here. Trick ‘r Treat starts strong and gets stronger until the climax that will almost guarantee it a place in permanent rotation in horror fans yearly roster of must sees at this time of year.

I am not giving any of the delightful surprises away so let me say in lieu of a synopsis that all of the classic tropes of Halloween can be found in this one film. Ghosts, monsters, maniacs and more all come out for the festivities on display. They don’t just come out either, they pop out in some pleasingly unexpected ways! The cast is excellent all the way around with some standouts being Brian Cox, Anna Paquin, Brett Kelly, and Dylan Baker whom all turn in quirky and surprising character roles. This one earned its spot in my collection, and I bet it earns one in yours as well!