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Last Updated: 9/21/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Sign: Scorpio

City: San Antonio
State: Texas
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/11/2006

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October 9, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  awake
Category: News and Politics
The Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to the American President, Barack Hussein Obama. Already, the haters have begun sipping the haterade, brewed under a dark sun of vicious discontent. 
 
Now, three sitting American Presidents have received the prize: Theodore Roosevelt (1906) for ending the Russo-Japanese War, Woodrow Wilson (1919) for the ill-fated founding of the League of Nations and Barack Obama (2009), for his advocacy of peace and reconciliation. Now, Barack Obama has entered the lexicon of the ages as an elect advocate for peace, with an honor that even a luminary like Mohandas Gandhi never received. 
 
President Obama's speech this morning was aimed at a domestic audience concerned about unfinished and new wars, an economic tsunami and unemployment that threatens the very foundation of American prosperity. His humble and deflective tenor gives his adversaries nothing new to latch on to in the attempt to dim his star even further. Despite the controversial history of the Nobel Peace Prize, its universal mandate of peace highlights issues of intense concern not only for Americans, but for the world as a whole. Warfare, climate and repression threaten the capacity for peace and progress in every country even as our world reaches a series of tipping points past which there is no return.

6:53 PM 
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September 21, 2009 - Monday 

Current mood:  awake
Category: Life
It often occurs, across the spectrum of human lifestyles and endeavors, that one realizes that the life they are living is not the life that they wish to live. That they, are not who they wish to be, that the lives that they may have dreamed of at an earlier stage in life have not manifest in the manner in which they, we, might have wished.
Looking back upon one's life, the accomplishments stand out, certainly, but it is often the failures that lead us to dark places of regret and realization as our shortcomings as individuals become manifestly clear. The path leading back through memories is often fraught with brambles and thorns, and yet, the clearings and waystations can be clearly recognized for what they were at a particular time in our lives.
Choices. Choices that we made or that we did not make, depending upon our state of mind and situation at the time. If we're not careful, it is possible, during those moments of introspection and contemplation, that we may become lost in the woods of our pasts, reliving the regrets over and over again, bringing into the present that which should be left in the past. Or, we can use the past as a stepping stone into the future, making certain that we do not make the same mistakes twice, or three times or more, as the case may be.
Read more at Examiner dot com ... 
3:08 AM 
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September 6, 2009 - Sunday 

Current mood:  awake
Category: Life
Belief is a fickle thing. It changes with the wind, with experience and the insight that follows. A change in one's beliefs is a constant, then, rather than variable.

What you believe is true is based upon your experiences and knowledge. A change in experience results in a change in knowledge. All experiences being equal, no one person's life can predict another's, and yet, there are certain templates that seem to appear over and over again in the human experience.

Great books like the Koran, the Bible or the Bhagavad Gita are filled with stories about experiences. Experiences that perhaps reflect certain trends that manifest the common, underlying intents that we share across culture and ethnicity.

11:42 PM 
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September 4, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  awake
All of our lives experience bumps and jolts every now and again. In fact, it seems as if the older you get sometimes, the more traumatic the experiences become. Many people feel as if the trials and tribulations of the day are more than they can handle, and that there is no help on the horizon and, consequently, that life is not worth living, or is meaningless in the face of life's seemingly cruel whims.

According to research, for some reason, suicide rates increase for those who have reached middle-age. It might be posited that because of the increased pressures and stresses that mid-life brings in our culture, the pressure to succeed and to live a life that is in line with the prevailing cultural norms because a burden to carry, and when dropped, too much to recover from. Family pressures, job pressures and personal goals not reached all contribute to the feelings of failure and depression that may lead some to consider suicide. The question then becomes, if the life you live fails to meet yours or others expectations, what is left?

Read more at Examiner dot com ...
8:35 AM 
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August 6, 2009 - Thursday 

Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
The twists and turns of a rogue economy leave us breathless even as indications begin to turn toward the positive. The majority of citizens in the United States know people who are under or unemployed, and many of us worry about the safety of our own jobs.  

Here in San Antonio, things are not as bad in some industries as they are in other parts of the country. Passing by the malls and stores on the highway, I see parking lots that are often more full than empty and the eating establishments seem to be filled with people who can still afford to eat out once in a while.

Read more at Examiner dot com ...
8:14 PM 
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May 22, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  adventurous
Category: Writing and Poetry
Reflecting on Forever's Momentum ...

... driving time blindly into the future 
reveals mimes as tarot-reading
diviners of mind and soul,
any street-corner rendition 
the deepest morality tale of perdition
in mortal form, 
a fool clowning for the crowd
the gods appeased by 
inner cries screamed out loud 
by broken minds and spoken souls,
living moment to moment
with hidden intentions and secret goals.

No one knows Self like ego
whose dedication to the
"Here we go again" syndrome
is infamous and intimate both, 
speak low and don't gather a crowd
too close, don't boast, don't roast a fool
and don't toast to those who broke
the rules to reach the heights they sought; 
dance with the one that brung you
and don't smoke the drugs they brought,
fight the wars they fought
or love the way they've taught.

In other words, let time do that thing
that lets you soar on broken wings
filled with the light of inner sight 
that tells you who you are and what
you want, despite the taunts of others
that haunt your dreams, still your aspirations 
and dull your motivation to reach 
that higher station, 
that goal that you and only you can see, 
that you and only you 
can be ...

... fly free at a moment's whim
life's not so grim. 

Steal a second of pleasure's time
to find that place and space
of the Divine. 

Remind yourself of beauty whenever you can,
try to stand away from your life every day - 
look away to seek within to find what lies
beneath the skin and connects you to
what is beyond sin, what is true 
and lies beyond every clue
left by gods and men. 

Pretend ... that this moment, 

right here right now, is 

the End.

That time stops ... 


... flip flops and twists space

into another place beyond the 

limited confines of your mind

and spirit soars ...


... time's grasp lessens and brilliance ensues,
peace enfolds perception and deception ceases,
motivations become clear and utter truth unleashes
the soul from experience and life no longer flies by 

... life ...

... simplifies.

Currently listening:
The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion
By The Black Crowes
Release date: 2007-11-13
6:38 AM 
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April 21, 2009 - Tuesday 

Category: Religion and Philosophy


Certain things in life have ways of clarifying priorities.

Health traumas, accidents, economic woes and the threat of loss, children. There's nothing like a 4-year old running around the 1-bedroom apartment to remind you that time is flying past and that the future is meaningful and should be ordered, according to the  needs of the moment. A perfect contradiction.

We don't even know what's going to happen a minute from now, but we must plan for years down the road and live in the Now looking always to the Future. Those who figure out how to slow down and sometimes stop, invigorated by the joy of life yet girded by the knowledge of stillness live viscerally, while others continue on in the Matrix bereft of comfort and surrounded by seeming madness.

Living in this manner, great and small sufferings are the very stuff of life. Hours of video games or the news, small talk or loveless affairs, even the seeking after material sustenance, making a damn living, becomes life as lived and our root chakras remain fully engaged in the daily grind as we fail to reach higher levels of consciousness no matter our momentary bouts of lucidity, true peace stays just beyond our reach.

The real aspect of this is how we live, daily, going to work, chillin' with friends and family, taking care of business. Our small talk, the clubs we visit, the drugs we use. The banter and tone, the inter-group politics and sexual proclivities. The inner dialogue, battle with neuroses and fears of success and failure. Whether we make the right choices based upon what is true rather than what is perceived, whether we fulfill our responsibilities according to our lot, tending our domains and nurturing our gifts and those of others in ways the orient us firmly toward service-to-others rather than service-to-self.

Some people live magical lives surrounded by magical people doing magical things. In every chatroom and domain, church and synagogue, temple and mosque, forest glade and desert cave, like attracts like and lessons accrue according to tradition and ceremony, or the lack thereof. The interactions between us reverbrate as invocations and spells, more or less consciously, curses and blessings flow equally resulting in the dreary banalities that we interpret in the strictly material language of body and mind, leaving the spiritual aspects adrift, without mooring in our daily experiences. 

Making the decision to embrace the Mystery of life opens us up to boundless possibilities and life can change in an instant. Embracing the mysticism of numbers, of astrology, of quantum physics, of chaos theory and alchemy reveal the patterns of synchronicity that cross and crisscross our paths daily as signposts along the way to be followed or ignored based upon our levels of comprehension and the ability to focus our attention. Or, eschewing these means, going deeper within, seeking the key to knowledge of Self, finding all understanding within releasing the binds that constrain the soul.

People of different orientations come into our lives for a reason. Recongizing the challenging aspects of these relationships, when viewed from a non-material perspective, can lead to revelations that cause one to seek a total and immediate withdrawal from certain people, situations or places and a re-centering around energies and souls that align more directly with one's own orientation. Reasoning and sense often have very little to do with these determinations. Feelings, intuitions and subtle perceptions demand consideration and often are accompanied by quick flurries of coincidences that give rise to equally fleeting mental and spiritual impressions which are, in turn, often just as quickly repressed by reasoning and sense, as they function for the ego at the expense of the spirit.

When doors of perception are opened, when ways of seeing shift, it is often irrevocable, according to many ancient traditions. Those who try hallucinogenic drugs often complain that, since the experience, things have not returned to the way they were before. Which brings us back to priorities.

The path to consciousness extends beyond pleasure and pain. Beyond two oppositional gateways, named Happiness and Sadness, the same destination awaits. As we seek these pursuits within our lives, bound to the rail of destiny, the greater streams of fate are expressed by our daily choices. Our priorities. Whether or not we're going to eat the burger. Beat the kids or the husband. Choose Republican or Democrat. Take the long way or the shortcut. Think this, rather than that. Choose our priorities carefully.

The great questions seem to have simple solutions, but complexity and obfuscation are twin gifts of the bicameral brain. Blessings and curses coexist comfortably, while we wriggle in thier grasp. The clarity that comes increased consciousness allows us to hone our priorities and the vacuous wisps that confused us previously fade away, like Whispers in the Wind.      
2:15 AM 
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April 10, 2009 - Friday 

Category: Life
Lotta cop stuff going on. Lotta shootin'. Killin'. Fathers killin' families, workers killin' bosses, students killin' teachers, all the disaffected, killin' whoever, whenever they can. Warfare burning up the world. Anger, despair, hopelessness.
 
Prophets are warning of disaster and Science is doing the same. They say that the entire solar system is moving into a new sector of the galaxy, which is itself moving into another sector of the universe. This region vibrates higher, causing atmospheres to form around planets and moons that previously had none, including our own orbiting companion (natrium-based). The density of the heliosphere has thickened considerably, as if we were blazing into the atmosphere of a new world.

Which, I guess, we are. In every way. Personally, collectively, the world is indeed a global village. An earthquake in Italy, a volcano in Alaska, mass suicide in India, an election in America. We are connected, globally, and what happens on one side of the world is known almost instantly to the other. A group of neighborhood gossips could do no better.

The burden of this knowledge causes some to open up and participate, others to close down and gestate. Love and Hate are clashing on a global scale and our conscious minds are processing it, internalizing it, whichever side of the conflict we are on. 30% to the Left, 30% to the Right, 30% in the center and 10% in control. It's easy to play both sides against the middle to achieve ends determinental to the whole but beneficial to the few.

Control is fickle and events coalesce and swirl in world affairs, leaving the conscious observer similarly tossed, twisted and tumbling, buffeted like chaff amidst the chaotic storm of information. Those who rule implement their global order while entropy lurks and souls of light endeavor to affect - individually and collectively, consciously and unconsciously, psychically and materially - the outcome, which is, in turn, affected by the random meanderings of chance and happenstance but determined by  the cyclic spiraling of planets, solar systems and galaxies.

Even the powerful check their horoscopes. Yours tells you that hope is ascending, mine tells me to expect disaster. The desire to live life without experiencing the negative is tempting, and possible. Creating our own reality allows us to choose, and there are those who live beautiful lives, free of drama. The choices we make, individually, corroborate our individual power, as the choices we make, collectively, corroborate our collective power.

The quantum field collects our awareness and we dive and swim like schools of souls in the great ocean of Creation, in fear of the sky above and the earth below. Some break off and collect in smaller groups, exploring and discussing the possibilities, heretical in their intent. They veer off to the left and the right, leaving some in the center, while one swims quietly away from them all, looking up and down, questioning convention, intent, everything. That one meets a few others of like mind and an expansive exploration of existence begins.

Knowledge of the World completes knowledge of Self. Knowledge of Self completes knowledge of the World. The internalization of the external, a complete journey through reality, the integration of the whole, the Manifestation of the Complete Being.

The killing will continue. 2 dead at Henry Ford Community College in Michigan, right this instant. The establishment is bound to disaster like the Earth to the Sun, the grand tale of consciousness manifest as our wounded souls limp and groan, tied to time and space. It seems so petty and meaningless, sometimes. And yet, each act, each thought, each tear, each smile, represents movement and growth. We endeavor toward perfection, in dark and light, seeking the Solace of the Sublime. 
Currently listening:
Stand!
By Sly & the Family Stone
Release date: 2008-09-24
5:11 PM 
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April 8, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  quiet
Category: Writing and Poetry
Knowing the future doesn't help.

I lay there, looking at a rock as the edges of my vision dimmed and the voices drew closer.

"Daddy, can you show me how to do this?"
I smiled and bent down next to him. "Of course."

The sky tore. Blinding light suffused the horizon, obliterating the color of the sunset. I wept.

"Babiluv, kiss me again!"
Her face shone and I complied.

His gargling faded to silence as my hands choked the life from him. My breath screamed in my chest, trembling setting in as I lurched back, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Son, help me with this."
"Ok, daddy." I bent down next to him in the garden, our purpose intent upon growth.

The wind swirled around us as we stood upon the peak, looking down at the valley below. Verdant growth swathed in multitudinous hues stretched forth, the scent of life permeating our nostrils. I breathed in deeply, the joy bursting from my heart.

"Is this the end?" Some screamed as buildings crashed to earth around us.
"It is the beginning." I whispered, kneeling, eyes shut tightly, secure in my place.

I inhaled the dry earth. The heat of the sun soothed my back. The voices were close. Concerned. I closed my eyes.

Knowing the past helps.
Currently listening:
What's Going On
By Marvin Gaye
Release date: 2003-01-14
3:51 AM 
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April 2, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:  fascinated
Category: Writing and Poetry
There are no new things under the sun. The Earth remains the garden, the flora and fauna proliferating as expressions of consciousness, diverging from Oneness as manifestations of the Infinite and Eternal.


Broken dreams have fallen before, hearts have been lost, desires frustrated. What I feel is no different from what most feel, what you feel has been felt by me.


Beautiful phrases and impressive words express ideas that have been thought before, spoken and written in contexts that may differ in detail, but remain the same in underlying meaning.


People today are no smarter than people who lived 100 years ago, 1,000 years ago, or 1,000,000 years ago. The brain, spirit and soul remain a constant expression of what lies beyond, only manifest in flesh to gain the gift of experience in the further evolution of the multiverse.


All experience is One experience, all thought is One thought, all feeling is One feeling, flowing through all of Creation, to greater or lesser degrees.


Every act of repression results in an act of freedom. Every lie brings forth the truth. Every miscarriage of justice births reparations.


The observation of this fundamental unity of experience arises through the interaction of time and space. Every thought manifests as reality in the act of creation, reverbrating throughout the infinite material worlds.


Rising to meet the challenge of living life cognizant of these truths can only occur when our own experience of reality conforms with some base experiential perception that lies beyond the capacity of most, who are content fomenting illusion. Cutting through the mental and emotional detritus we've built up during a lifetime of indoctrination is a task so formidable that it has been relegated to the status of myth and legend.


We don't believe in Avatars or Shamans or Gurus, because they represent a level of consciousness that we have not achieved, so how could they have achieved it?


We are all equal, no one is better than another, and no one can certainly achieve impossible heights of psychic and ethical accomplishment that shatter the laws of reality that we subconsciously co-create with each successive thought.

 
Even those who don't believe they create their own reality live in realities in which the act of disbelief is an end in and of itself. It justifies its own existence and melds the perception of truth accordingly. A society of such demi-gods can conquer the world, has indeed conquered the world, subjecting the people of the world to realities that tend toward the accumulative and the material, decrying the spiritual as impossible, inconceiveable and irrelevant, in any case.


Such extremes must exist in opposition to those who essay that pathless path, leaving footprints in the sky. For every ascending soul there is an equal and oppositional descending soul, for every angel, a demon. For every kind-hearted soul, a hard-hearted one, for every believer, a disbeliever.


Living in the knowledge of opposition reinforces the perception of fundamental Oneness. Recognizing the paths of ascention and descent boils the individual choice down to personal preference, karmic destiny and each choice we make. Free Will is a law of Creation and makes us all responsible for the situations we find ourselves in, regardless of the outcome or our perceptions thereof. 


There is no one to blame but ourselves, no one to pray to outside of ourselves. And yet, everyone else is to blame but us, and there are infinite powers to pray to, inside of ourselves. Seemingly contradictory realities clash within the Halls of Creation like Valkyries and Trolls upon the fields of Valhalla, or like the spider Anansi and Tiger, in the earliest days of this world.


Chaos is the illusion and Order, the underlying truth. The trials and tribulations that pain us build us up, preparing us for more to come. What we are going through is what people have always gone through, there is no qualitative difference that makes our individual plights any different from anyone elses. The seeming good life that some live is just as much of an illusion as the seeming horror that others endure. My tragedies in this lifetime are equaled by your tragedies in another. 


The sun watches ever, shining its many-horned splendor upon the good and bad alike, while synchronicities play havoc with our plans and dreams. Nothing new threatens the continuity of Creation, and all works out as it is supposed to, no matter how it looks from our vantage point. Submerging Self within the experience demands our full attention and the constant call of awakening to the illusion a slumbering insistence that awakens every once and again in the attempt to shoulder past the ego's rude pronunciations. 


But life still goes on and the days continue to pass, one following the next, until we awaken to the fact that they do so at our insistence and that, at any time, we can collectively choose otherwise. When that day comes, a pivotal instance will have been reached that takes us, collectively, from one state of consciousness to another.


Then, and only then, can we state that there is something new under the sun, because by then, we will have become One with it, the planets and the infinite stars and worlds beyond, returning to a state of existence inconceivable to us now.

  
Oneness in diversity, multiplicity through holism. Reconciling the illusion, with the real.    
 
Currently listening:
Introducing the Hardline According to Terence Trent d'Arby
By Terence Trent d'Arby
Release date: 1990-10-25
6:43 PM 
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