I am so very cognizant of the need to live each day for each day's worth and to live it as if it were my last.  Recently, my cousin's 20 year old daughter passed away and my step-son's step-brother was killed in Iraq by an I.E.D. (innovated explosive device).  My step-son's brother was only 22.  Both Alyssa and Joshua died way before their time.  Yet, was it before their time?  Had they truly finished their race? 

My three children are the love of my life. There is never a day that they do not amaze me, nor cease to teach me something new about myself as a parent. I am so thankful for them. They have their moments, as I am sure most children do, but these are my great and wonderful, artistic, dramatic, beautiful... gifts. The only gifts I need under the tree are these three. I don't need any other gift. I would love to take them one day to Disney World, or to Epcott Center... and watch their eyes bug out at all of the fun rides and things to do, but I've not been able to do that yet for them. As a single mom, I do all that I can just to make sure we keep a roof over our head. And in that department, I am learning more and more every day what it means to trust an unseen God.

I do all kinds of freelance work. I have to work out of my home as my three have to be schooled at home because of some of their special needs. Hence, I've taken up all kinds of things to do to bring in income. I have done paint jobs, faux paint jobs, performed concerts, taught seminars, teach voice and piano, fixed plumbing, put in lawns, done minor handywoman jobs such as putting knobs and fixtures on kitchen cabinets and walls for the elderly. I have even learned how to fix my car (yes, I can put in my own water pump). I am learning how to do all kinds of things. There are days when I am challenged in my body... those are the days when I get frustrated because I cannot earn like I want to earn. Yet, as my Pastor, Dony McGuire, says, there are times when "God makes you lie down in green pastures... to forces you to rest."

About three years ago, I suffered a severe headache in August 2004, out of the blue. I'd never had a migraine before, nor any other kind of severe headache that put me in the emergency room. But this headache was a kicker and caused me to get nauseated and my face began to contort, so I had to have a friend take me to the emergency room. Twelve hours later, a few pain shots, a lumbar puncture, a CT scan, and a lot of doctors not knowing what had happened, they sent me home. I have been seeing a neurologist for the past two years with them doing all kinds of blood tests, neurological tests, and other tests to determine what is happening to my body. I've had them think I had Multiple Schlerosis, Fibromyalgia, Psychiatric pain, IBS, and all kinds of other maladies. We still don't really know what the real deal is. I just have days when I cannot function at all and have severe headaches and severe body pain. As a singer, I have had difficulty with my throat narrowing (not a good thing)... so they've dilated my throat a couple of times.

Most of my medical issues, I keep from my kids. It is not easy on them because I am their constant. They get way upset when I am not well. Yet, I just keep believing that if I take better care of my body and keep holding on to my faith, I can get through all of this. They did determine that I have a form of narcolepsy which they help me with adding a medication to keep me awake during the daytime. That in and of itself was a lifesaver. I just couldn't figure out why I was falling asleep all the time... LOL... if only it was always that easy.

Tonight has been one of those evenings when I've not been able to do much. I worked hard all day getting a car ready to sell and I've been stripping a piano (yes, my son and I have started restoring pianos too). But tonight, I've had to settle for vegging. That means I have to work harder at trusting God to provide financially. Since I am someone who likes to get things done, I've had to adapt an attitude of grace into my life that accepts the fact that I am not going to get things done as quickly as other people get them done. When I find myself stressed, it is usually because I have found myself letting others pressure me to live by their schedule. I then remember that I have to maintain the schedule that my body and my children's bodies can do. Then the stress disappears.

Having special needs that are not always readily apparent to others is not always an easy to be... but it is the place where my children and I are, so we must exist here. I am learning to allow more joy into our lives and to stop allowing others to beat us up if we don't meet their deadlines. Life is just too short for the crapola. When we discover that each of us is here for a specific purpose, we will then realize that we are each gifted to do a specific thing in the world and in the middle of doing that thing... we will find the grace to do it all without stress and actually find joy in doing it.

The trips to Disney World... well, they will have to wait until I have the ability to take them. I will also have to have three college students to help my kids go on rides as I can't do it all by myself anymore... but that is ok cause I know when the time is right, it will come together. If I am faithful to love others as God puts them in my path, then God will take care of loving me.

I just want to get it right while I'm alive on this earth... that is all... and if I can't get it right with these three... the loves of my life, then I don't have a reason to live on this earth. These three lives are the most important lives of any other lives that I will ever touch, so it is tantamount that I place my focus first on them. The rest of it will all fall into place.

I guess I'm writing this tonight for someone, so just know that if you are facing some difficult challenge... you have it in you to get through it. I have been through so much in my short 45 years... and I am still alive and kicking. So... realize that you are worth it, you have the ability to make it through and then look for the light at the end of the tunnel... and I will be there holding the lantern cheering you on.

Merry Christmas.... from RamyB and my children, The Lysaker Children, Storm, Soren and Audrey

I have been thinking about the message yesterday in church... about the gateway to Heaven being in our minds.  David Binyon talked about Jacob and how he experienced Heaven while sleeping outside under the stars.  Our minds can be full of many things... experiences... thoughts about the kingdom of God, worry about finances, stresses that others put on us, or the things of yesterday, memories from the past.

Getting rid of the clutter is probably the hardest thing.  In eastern meditation, they teach you to empty your mind and focus on "entering into a state of meditation"... problem is... in emptying your mind, you can also come to a place where you are no longer in control.  I think that the balance is in asking Father God to cause us to cast all of our cares onto His lap... onto His shoulders.  To be reminded that we are totally dependent on the Creator is an important thing.  God, in His infinity, chooses to participate in His finite creation.  Focusing our thought lives on His Divinity and His purposes does not empty our mind, but focuses our mind on the things that are important to the Creator.  In worshipping Him as our Creator, we then can come to a place where we can enter into the Heavenly realm and become one with Father God, His Son and His Spirit.  He desires to have relationship with us.  To often, I believe that we forget that He longs for that relationship.

David talked about the gateway being in our mind... I agree with him.  Focusing our minds on praise... and thanksgiving opens the gateway towards heaven.  Casting the cares of the world into Father's lap shows that we are trusting Him to do what He says He is going to do.

Love to love you,

RamyB

So many people I know are experiencing great life changes.  Even I myself am in the midst of what seems to be a whirlwind at times, yet there is one thing I believe I have learned to do and that is I've learned how to stand in the midst of great trial. 

Storms are amazing events.  They have a way of changing everything around us from the seascape to the atmosphere, to the way we view our lives daily.  Yet, a secure fortress in the midst of a storm will not give way to the changes that come at you.  I think I've learned that it is so important to remain anchored in the Word, and the Word is Jesus Christ Himself. 

It is only when I remain anchored in Him that I am able to stand no matter what comes at me, even if it is the fiercest of winds.  I may cry momentarily.  I may even be discouraged momentarily.  Yet, my anchor reminds me that I can stand in His ability to carry me through the storm.  My feet are firmly anchored. 

I can remember in years past when my feet were not so firmly anchored... and I would be tossed from side to side... wondering if I would ever come up for air from the tumult that had assaulted my senses.  Yet, as I have aged, wisdom has taught me that to remain in the strong grip of the anchor is to remain firmly and completely grounded by something greater than I... the Creator of the Universe. 

Hence, when I partner with the Creator of the Universe, there is no storm that can destroy me.  I will always see the horizon through the anchors eyes.

Wisdom will gain its ground yet again. 

In learning how to stand... I've learned that I can be a strength to others even when it seems like my flesh is weakened by external circumstances because I am firmly and entirely anchored in Christ... in whom I stand.

with love,

RamyB

Never has there been a better time to learn than the present.  Learning takes humility.  It means remembering that there is always someone smarter than you.  It means listening to the other person.  Being willing to render yourself submitted to the leading and ushering of Holy Spirit.  It means acknowledging that there is more to learn and one can always be taught.

We can rush in like a firestorm, or walk in gently like a gentle, soft wind.  Both have purposes only Father can really know and understand, yet His purposes are probably better accomplished with the gentle wind.

Speaking softly... listening for the whisper of His voice... listening for the sweet words of rebuke that come to teach us more of who we are in Him... molding and remaking us.  Softly, gently... pushing down the parts of the clay that are imperfect and tenderly fashioning them back into the place that they were intended to be.  The hands of the potter knows. 

Lessons taught by humility... lessons taught by being willing to listen to another person's heart.  Lessons learned through the power of Holy Spirit's anointing that crushes the yoke of bondage... and sets the captives free.

He is the King of Glory... I will humbly usher Him in to His throne room centered in my heart.

with love,

Ramy B

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Ramy Bakke

© Feb, 2, 2005

I so value your friendship and feel so privileged that you would consider me a friend. 

A true friend will steward over that friendship...

nurturing it... never considering the cost. 

A true friend will not look for your demise,

but for your constant betterment. 

A true friend will encourage you to be who you are

and to be all that you can be in Christ Jesus. 

A true friend will cover your insecurities until you feel secure. 

A true friend will look for the best. 

A true friend will shower you with kindness.  

A true friend will share you with others. 

A true friend will cry with you and stay up all night with you

in the hospital, or laugh with you, or travel around the world with you.  

A true friend anoints over and over again your joints and sinews

 to bring strength to your bones. 

A true friend sees the bad and loves you anyway. 

A true friend grieves with you and allows you to grieve fully. 

A true friend can think of all the funny and sad times

and carry you through them both. 

A true friend is found only when God forges the friendship. 

When God forges it, it shall not pass away for He is their constant. 

A true friend sets an example of friendship....

a true friend is forever faithful... forever true. 

A true friend invites your anger in order to soothe your soul. 

A true friend listens and extends unconditional positive regard. 

A true friend is a bulwark, a fortress, a protective shield

that will take the arrows aimed at you. 

A true friend loves you when you don't have your face on. 

A true friend loves to love you just for who you are and

not for what you can give to them. 

A true friend will look for ways to extend your success

 and shout your successes from the rooftops. 

A true friend takes your hand when you are afraid and

walks you across the raging torrents that storm around you. 

A true friend speaks the truth and expects you to listen. 

A true friend sows their heart and reaps yours. 

A true friend trusts you and believes in you and knows

your inwards parts. 

A true friend listens to you when you are sad, lets you talk

and lifts your heart just by being with you not for the words they say to you. 

A true friend can sit silently with you, a silence that speaks volumes. 

A true friend can share with your joys and celebrate your successes. 

A true friend picks you up when you stumble and carries you when you are broken. 

A true friend engages you in a new dance. 

A true friend pushes you up a hill you think you can't climb. 

A true friend rescues your favorite treasures out of a rain-swollen river. 

A true friend helps you let go of the past and helps you press on into the future, yet loves your now. 

A true friend makes sure you have food to eat and clothes to warm you. 

A true friend will take the thorns out of your fingers and then cut

down the briar bush that gets in your way. 

A true friend cares for you when you are sick until you are well without complaining. 

A true friend intercedes for you and all that concerns you. 

A true friend recognizes that they are not your only friend and 

cherishes your other significant relationships. 

A true friend is not possessive. 

A true friend will let you lean on their strength and will lean on yours. 

A true friend holds you with an open hand, yet holds you accountable.  

A true friend is honest with you and trustworthy. 

A true friend holds your heart as sacred. 

A true friend will go the extra mile for you. 

A true friend will walk with you at your pace and sometimes challenge you to a new pace. 

A true friend is a gift from God...

I believe in this kind of mutual friendship and I extend this true friendship to you whether you take it or not.  I see true friendship in you.... you are a true friend.

A few weeks ago, I travelled to Trinidad, Colorado to sing and minister to a group of people at Gospel Fest 2006.  The concert promoter's wife had a great idea regarding a prayer box that she uses to place her prayer requests into.  She doesn't even read the prayer requests.  She just places them in the box.  People at her work will come up to her and request that she place a request in her box.  So she will have them write it down on a piece of paper and then she will place it in this box.  She doesn't read the requests.  She just asks God to meet their needs.  She told me that it has been amazing how many people have come back to her stating that God has answered their prayer requests. 

When I came home, I created just such a box.  It sits by my desk.  Although I don't have anyone coming up to me asking me to put requests in that box, I have written many prayer requests and slipped them in that box asking God to meet those needs.  Already, some of those requests have been met.  I don't get the requests out and see which ones have been met. I don't read them. I don't ponder them. I simply entrust them into God's hands.  It is His box afterall.  Once I place the requests in His box they are not mine to look at any more.  It has taught me something very deep about trusting the Father to provide for me.  Since creating this box, I have been challenged many times in my faith about God's ability to provide.  I keep writing down the requests and slipping them into His box.  Sometimes, my attitude gets a little out there, so I have to write confessions and slip them into His box too.  I will write thank yous too...  I guess it is teaching me to ask Him continually and to trust Him continually.   One day as I was writing out a request, I heard the Lord's voice say to me... "aren't you going to ask me about such and such???..." and I said..." ok... (a little sheepishly)"  So I got out another piece of paper and wrote out my very specific request for what He reminded me about and slipped it into His box.  I was amazed that He was telling me to ask Him because He was waiting to give it to me, but I had to ask. 

Last year, a friend of mine and I made a box similar to this... it was a prayer box and we've seen prayers that we put into that box already answered.  It was amazing how God answered those prayers.  What I am learning to realize is this... it is not the drama that we attach to our prayers that motivates God to answer our prayers.  It is the relationship that we have with Him that motivates Him to answer our prayers.  The deeper the relationship, the greater the prayer power.  And it's always great to know that God is on your side.

Well... time to sleep, so I can be ready for church in the morning.  I hope you will make a God box... and start trusting Him with your requests.

Love to you,

Ramy