Today, I received word from my professor that I had passed my final clinical for my master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.  This has been two years in the waiting.  My expression was an elated YIPPEE!!!  My children were excited and I laughed as my daughter stated VERY clearly, "Mom, make sure you finish the second master's degree before you start the third one." 

They must really know me.  Today is such a momentous day for me.  It feels as though I have been let out of the race gate and I have finally crossed the finish line.  The race was long and tedious, but well worth the effort.  There were hardships along the way; some that I thought would literally crush me... at one point, I critically understood how it felt to have a dearly, loved child taken from me and held in a facility that was unjust and unkind to him.  I learned how to advocate for him; how to believe in him; how to visit him and remind him that he truly was and is a son of God and God Himself would act on his behalf.  Some of these things I can talk about, some I can not talk about, but it caused me to delay my final clinical.  Some of these events caused me to rethink my journey over and over and over again. 

The most difficult hardships have pressed me to become a better therapist.  Some of the things I walked through prepared me for part of my current practice although I did not see that when I was going through the hardship.  There were times when I felt like I was being crushed in a wine press, or an olive press... when every part of my dream was being brought into question and every part of my character was being inspected, but in the end, on the other side of the severe hard pressing life circumstances, there has come a sweet oil that only Christ has been able to bring through me.  In the end, the journey deepened my faith like no other. 

Hardship is something we do not invite into our lives.  In fact, most of us run from hardship, but when hardship comes, it is our perspective and our faith that will get us through to the other side... to the day when the sun begins to shine again.  Eventually, the wine press has to be opened and eventually the olive press has to be cleaned.  This means the pressure will eventually be released and the parts of our character that had flaws will have been mashed into the pulp of the wine... or the pulp of the oil and then the impurities are strained out.  Wine and oil have symbolic meanings in Christendom as they both have healing properties and they have been used to represent spiritual things such as the very presence of the Living Christ and the Healing Balm of Gilead...or the anointing of the priests. 

In every day life, red wine has tannins that kill parasites and oil keeps parasites from moving or entering the skin.  There are so many different applications to just those two substances...

Yet, here... in this place, the pressing and the hardship purified my life and I believe it further qualified me for part of my ministry.  It caused me to be much more sensitive to those who are falsely accused.  It caused me to understand how a child can go through imprisonment in an unjust system and endure hardship and how God can move to deliver him from it.  It caused me to understand the pain that people undergo who endure public humiliation or gossip.  It caused me to remember that we are all just flesh and we require the very presence of a very Living God to sustain us.  It is by grace that we live and move and have our being. 

Then without our even noticing it... we have moved forward on our journey.  We have touched countless lives along the way by our humanity, our faith, our realities, our joys, our sorrows, and our songs.  In reality, there are several races we are called to run... how we run those races, no matter how difficult determines our outcome.  If we will choose to STAND in faith believing in our Heavenly Father's ability to carry us through, if we choose to WALK through the circumstances; if we choose to FOCUS our eyes on the truth; if we choose to WORSHIP and PRAISE in the midst of something we simply cannot understand even though our emotions are screaming another language, then we will RUN and NOT WAIT and we will FINISH the RACE... and receive the rewards that are intended for us.  Some of those rewards are the very relationships that were forged along the way... other rewards we cannot yet see, but at the end of our life we can hope and pray that we have been wine and oil to all those around us and wear a crown fit for kings.  And in the midst of the journey, we have sojourned with the Divine Creator of the Universe... and learned more about what LOVE is... becoming LOVE to a world that is desperate for our forward motion.

With love,

RamyB

Beloved,

I encourage everyone I know to read about this young man's situation and to pray for him in earnest that he will be released from prison promptly... for "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Eph. 6.12, NIV)  We need to agree together and support this man in prayer.  I see this as a much more spiritual war than a physical war.  The enemy of our souls does not want the work done that this man was doing in Nicaragua.  We must take authority over all of the evil forces that are opposing him and cast them down, so that truth can reign.

RamyB

Copied from Margaret Becker's Myspace blog... http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=42955856&blogID=252613855&Mytoken=4DA4B196-9595-465E-88BE6B9F16C1EE2B9202300

Thursday, March 01, 2007

..> ..> ..>..>

My friend Eric Volz: my ask to you Current mood: outraged Category: outraged News and Politics And on a more serious note . . . I have a friend who I've known since he was eight, his name is Eric Volz. He's a grown man now, a solid brother and the victim of injustice in Nicaragua. He has been falsely accused, and convicted of a horrible crime. Any of you in Law know how crazy it can be for Americans accused in foreign countries. This is absolutely unbelievable. Please pressure your Senators and Congressman to respond to this situation. If you follow Eric's link on this page, it will bring you to your own representatives. If you want, copy the text below or part of it and paste it in your note. Please join me in this campaign to correct this. Thanks so much! Maggie ERIC STANLEY VOLZ Imprisoned in Nicaragua FEBRUARY 25, 2007 I. The Facts: Doris Jimenez was killed Tuesday, November 21, 2006, between 11:45 am and 1:00 pm, in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. Her body was found at about 2:00 pm inside a clothing store she owned. She was tied, strangled and asphyxiated. Doris was popular and attractive and her murder deeply unsettled this small tourist town. Eric Volz was two hours away in Managua at the time of the murder. Eric, a 27-year old American, had been living in Nicaragua for some two years. Not only were there 10 witnesses who saw him in Managua during the time of the murder, none of the physical evidence recovered from the scene linked Eric to the crime. Indeed, none of the blood, fluid, hair, or other physical evidence collected at the scene had any tie to Eric. Throughout the day of the murder Eric was in Managua at the house where he lived and worked. Eric's house in Managua served as the offices of EP Magazine -- a sustainable development and lifestyle magazine. Eric awoke there early that morning and entered the office area at around 9:15 am. The housekeeper, security guard and no fewer than five EP workers were there at the time and saw Eric. At about 10:30 am, Eric received a visit from two women interested in EP Magazine. They met with Eric until approximately 11:00 am. Around noon, Eric met with Ricardo Castillo, a well-regarded journalist and a potential contributing editor for EP Magazine. The meeting between Eric and Castillo included a telephone conference call between Eric, Castillo and a US business contact in Atlanta, Georgia, Nick Purdy. That 54-minute conference call, which ended at 1:14 pm, is supported by phone records. Nick Purdy also had digital time-stamped instant messages from Eric showing that in total the two men were engaged in intensive business communications from approximately 9:21 am until 2:07 pm. After the call with Nick Purdy, Eric, Castillo and Adam Paredes (an EP employee) had a curried fish and vegetable lunch prepared by the EP housekeeper, Martha. This lunch was witnessed by several EP colleagues. Castillo left the EP house around 2:00 pm. Eric was at the house in Managua and in the presence of 5 people when he received the news that Doris was dead. He received that news from a friend of Doris' who called his cell phone and spoke to Eric at 2:43 pm. At about that same time, yet another witness, Rossy, arrived and saw Eric at his house in Managua. At around 3:00pm, Eric rented a car to go to San Juan del Sur quickly and assist her family. Eric's own car was old and slow and he often rented a car for the one-lane trip to San Juan. The car was delivered by Hertz Rent A Car to the Managua house. Eric did not meet with the rental car staff himself, however, one of his employees brought him the rental car credit vouchers for Eric to sign. The rental car contract was printed by Hertz Rent A Car at 3:11 pm. In addition to the witnesses above, Eric's defense was also able to secure cell phone records (known as "cell site" records that show the location of the cell phone at the time a call is received or made) for Eric's cell phone which showed that Eric was using his cell phone in Managua that day. The cell site records show that Eric's cell phone was used in Managua during the time of the murder and until late afternoon when he departed for San Juan del Sur to be with Doris' family. Indeed, the first call that Eric made outside of the Managua area did not occur until 4:38 pm. II. The Arrest and Prosecution of Eric Volz: Despite the conclusive evidence placing Eric two hours away in Managua at the time of the crime in San Juan del Sur, the police issued an arrest warrant for Eric, as well three others: Armando Llanes, Nelson Lopez-Danglas and Julio Chamorro, for the murder of Doris Jimenez. These arrest warrants were based on the prosecution's first theory that Eric and Llanes, Doris' current boyfriend, went inside the store with Danglas and Chamorro - two known, petty criminals and drug users from San Juan - and raped and killed Doris. This version of events appears to have come from the unsigned "confession" of Chamorro. A few days after his arrest, Lopez-Danglas apparently "confessed" that at 1:00 pm he was outside the store and saw Eric and an unknown man inside the store. Lopez-Danglas, who at the time of his arrest had injuries to his penis and scratches on his neck, torso, forearms and hands, stated that Eric asked him to meet him at 1:00 pm in front of Doris' store and paid him 50 cordobas to move two bags into a white car. In return for this testimony against Eric, Danglas was released and all charges against him were dropped. Llanes, who is from wealthy Nicaraguan family, presented a piece of paper from a registrar's office in support of his alibi that he was registering for college classes at the time of the crime. Based on this one piece of paper, the prosecution dismissed all charges against Llanes - without any questioning of him and without securing any hair or blood samples from him. Indeed, Llanes was never even arrested despite the fact that he was charged and that a warrant was issued for his arrest. Eric and Chamorro, on the other hand, were ordered to go to trial. The prosecution moved forward in spite of the facts that: (1) no one other than Lopez-Danglas, a known criminal, claimed to have seen Eric in San Juan; (2) that the police interviewed several people who testified that Eric was in Managua at the time of the murder; and (3) that absolutely no physical evidence (blood, saliva, hair, fibers or semen) linked Eric to the crime. On the date that Eric was ordered to stand trial, there was a riot outside the courthouse in Rivas where Eric was almost killed by a street mob. The prosecution presented several witnesses at trial. Only a few had any connection to a case against Eric. Specifically, the prosecution's evidence against Eric was as follows: As to physical evidence, the prosecution called several medical examiners who testified that they reviewed the physical evidence collected at the scene (i.e., hair, fluid, and blood) and that none of their tests showed a link to Eric. For example, the medical examiners testified that a small amount of blood that was found on a sheet used to wrap the deceased was O blood type and that Eric was A type. There was also testimony that although over 100 hair samples were collected from the scene, not one could be linked to Eric. In short, there was no physical evidence connecting Eric to the crime scene. The prosecution called Gabriela Vanessa Sobalvarro, a friend of the deceased, who testified that she called Eric on his cell phone and told him that Doris was dead. The cell site records confirm that Eric was in Managua when he received her call at 2:43 pm. She testified that Eric told her that he would rent a car and go to San Juan. Doris' mother took the stand to testify that Eric's family offered to pay her $1 million to drop the charges. To be clear, Eric's family made no such offer nor do they have any such means. Indeed, the family has cashed out their savings, held benefit concerts and sought donations from friends to provide Eric a defense. In what has been nothing short of a full blown media campaign in Nicaragua against Eric, Doris' mother, in her effort to inflame the passions of the people of Rivas and San Juan, has launched a series of preposterous accusations, wholly unsupported by the facts and the evidence. The prosecution called Victor Jose Morales Gutierrez, a Hertz employee who testified that he delivered a car to Eric's EP house in Managua in the afternoon of the date of the murder. He also testified that a friend of Eric's wanted him to testify that he saw Eric at the time of car delivery although he did not. Rental car documents, however, show that Eric personally signed the credit card vouchers, and that the car was delivered after 3:00 pm – after Eric heard that Doris had died. The prosecution also relied on Chamarro's unsigned "confession" that he was in San Juan del Sur and saw Eric and Armando Llanes commit the crime. The introduction of Chamorro's unsigned confession into evidence was particularly egregious. First, because Chamorro did not testify at trial, Eric's defense was not able to cross examine him regarding that statement. Second, because Chamorro's "confession" identified Llanes as one of two other murderers, the prosecution had already obviously discredited and disregarded the "confession" when it dismissed all the charges against Llanes. Finally, by presenting an alibi witness to testify at trial that Chamorro was eating lunch at the time of the murder, Chamorro himself recanted his own statement of confession. Thus, despite the fact that Chamarro recanted, that the defense had no opportunity to cross examine Chamarro as to either version of events, and that the prosecution had already disregarded the "confession" in dismissing the charges against Llanes, Chamarro's "confession" implicating Eric and Llanes, was admitted into evidence, but only against Eric and Chamarro. Finally, the prosecution called the only witness who could offer direct trial testimony against Eric -- Lopez-Danglas, the former co-defendant now turned government witness, who testified that he saw Eric leave the store on the afternoon of the murder, and that he was outside of the store because Eric had asked him to be there. By several accounts, Danglas was visibly incoherent on the stand, and appeared to be under the influence of narcotics. He also admitted his drug use and bad character, admitting that he was a drug user and lazy "but not a liar." In short, when the prosecution rested its case only one witness placed Eric in San Juan – a drug user and former co-defendant turned government witness, Danglas. Perhaps more importantly, while no fewer than 103 individual hairs were collected at the scene there was no physical evidence linking Eric to the crime. Indeed, although the prosecution tried to argue that Eric had some scratches on the back of his shoulder (their sole argument on the physical evidence), the forensic tests conducted on the deceased's body confirmed that she had no skin or blood underneath her fingernails. This easily proved that even if Eric had scratches on the back of his shoulder there is no link between that and the murder. Further, the prosecution failed to establish that Doris had been raped, making Eric's conviction for that crime equally unsupportable. III. The Defense Case: As noted above, no less than ten witnesses were available to reaffirm their prior sworn statements that Eric was in Managua at the time of the murder. However, due to a limitation on the number of witnesses allowed to testify about this critical fact, only four witnesses (including Eric) were allowed to testify that Eric was in Managua during the time of the murder. Even so, the defense case was overwhelming. Indeed, it was conclusive. The following witnesses were permitted to testify on Eric's behalf: Ricardo Castillo, a highly regarded Nicaraguan journalist who is internationally recognized and has worked with the BBC of London and the Washington Post, among other papers and news media, testified that he was with Eric on the afternoon of the murder. Castillo, who had only recently met Eric and had no financial interest in EP Magazine, testified that he was meeting and having lunch with Eric from about noon to 2:00 pm. Nick Purdy is an American businessman and journalist who was exploring the possibility of contributing to EP Magazine. On the day of the murder, Mr. Purdy testified, and telephone records confirm, that he was on the phone with Eric and Mr. Castillo for approximately 54 minutes, from 12:19 to 1:14pm. ---again the exact time that the prosecution claims Eric was in San Juan committing the murder. Mr. Purdy also produced his instant messaging notes and testified that he and Eric were communicating for most of the morning and early afternoon. Rossy Aguello is a hairdresser who had an appointment to cut Eric's hair the afternoon of the murder. Rossy testified that she arrived at the EP house to cut Eric's hair at approximately 2:00 pm and saw Eric at the house and was also present when Hertz delivered the rental car to Eric. Finally, Eric took the stand and testified that he had been at his home in Managua throughout the day of the murder. Needless to say, Eric denied that he had any involvement in Doris' death. The testimony of the defense witnesses and the lack of evidence presented by the prosecution would not prove sufficient – residents of Rivas were congregating outside the courtroom and at one point the police fired warning shots at the crowd that clearly served to scare the judge. IV. The Court's Sentencing: During the Court's preliminary sentence on February 16, 2007, the Court barred US Embassy personnel who had traveled the two hours from Managua from the courtroom. On February 21, 2007, when the Court was to give the full basis for its ruling and sentencing, the Judge never appeared. Instead, the Judge had a clerk read her decision to those present in the Court. Although we hope to have full transcripts of the trial and the sentencing within days, this is what we know: The Court disqualified and rejected the testimony of Ricardo Castillo -- an internationally recognized journalist. Her verdict also required her to reject the sworn testimony of Nick Purdy, of Rossy Aguello and of Eric. She also refused to credit the testimony of the medical examiners that testified that none of the evidence at the scene could be linked to Eric – specifically, the evidence that the blood, fluids and hair samples collected had no connection to Eric. She refused to accept any evidence of the phone records that showed Eric was on a telephone conference call in Managua with a business associate in Atlanta. She discredited and ignored the cell site records and the instant messaging notes provided by Mr. Purdy. Instead, the judge relied on the testimony of admitted drug addict Lopez-Danglas, who had been charged with the murder and released after being given full immunity in exchange for his testimony against Eric. The judge also appears to have relied on a picture of Eric that she claimed showed he had a scratch on the back of his shoulder. She relied on this even though the physical evidence showed that the victim had no blood under her fingernails, and therefore, did not scratch her assailant, and in the face of Eric's testimony that he was scratched there as a result of carrying Doris' coffin during her funeral services. Despite the lack of any supporting physical evidence, despite the fact that ten people were with Eric in Managua when Doris was killed, despite the fact that Lopez-Danglas is a known (indeed, admitted) drug addict, despite the fact that Lopez-Danglas testified in return for full immunity after having been charged with the murder, the judge declared Eric guilty and sentenced him to thirty years.

My three beautiful children are the love of my life. There is never a day that they do not amaze me, nor cease to teach me something new about myself as a parent. I am so thankful for them. They have their moments, as I am sure most children do, but these are my great and wonderful, artistic, dramatic, beautiful... gifts. The only gifts I need under the tree are these three. I don't need any other gift. I would love to take them one day to Disney World, or to Epcott Center... and watch their eyes bug out at all of the fun rides and things to do, but I've not been able to do that yet for them. As a single mom, I do all that I can just to make sure we keep a roof over our head. And in that department, I am learning more and more every day what it means to trust an unseen God.

I do all kinds of freelance work. I have to work out of my home as my three have to be schooled at home because of some of their special needs. Hence, I've taken up all kinds of things to do to bring in income. I have done paint jobs, faux paint jobs, performed concerts, taught seminars, teach voice and piano, fixed plumbing, put in lawns, done minor handywoman jobs such as putting knobs and fixtures on kitchen cabinets and walls for the elderly. I have even learned how to fix my car (yes, I can put in my own water pump). I am learning how to do all kinds of things. There are days when I am challenged in my body... those are the days when I get frustrated because I cannot earn like I want to earn. Yet, as my Pastor, Dony McGuire, says, there are times when "God makes you lie down in green pastures... to forces you to rest."

About three years ago, I suffered a severe headache in August 2004, out of the blue. I'd never had a migraine before, nor any other kind of severe headache that put me in the emergency room. But this headache was a kicker and caused me to get nauseated and my face began to contort, so I had to have a friend take me to the emergency room. Twelve hours later, a few pain shots, a lumbar puncture, a CT scan, and a lot of doctors not knowing what had happened, they sent me home. I have been seeing a neurologist for the past two years with them doing all kinds of blood tests, neurological tests, and other tests to determine what is happening to my body. I've had them think I had Multiple Schlerosis, Fibromyalgia, Psychiatric pain, IBS, and all kinds of other maladies. We still don't really know what the real deal is. I just have days when I cannot function at all and have severe headaches and severe body pain. As a singer, I have had difficulty with my throat narrowing (not a good thing)... so they've dilated my throat a couple of times.

Most of my medical issues, I keep from my kids. It is not easy on them because I am their constant. They get way upset when I am not well. Yet, I just keep believing that if I take better care of my body and keep holding on to my faith, I can get through all of this. They did determine that I have a form of narcolepsy which they help me with adding a medication to keep me awake during the daytime. That in and of itself was a lifesaver. I just couldn't figure out why I was falling asleep all the time... LOL... if only it was always that easy.

Tonight has been one of those evenings when I've not been able to do much. I worked hard all day getting a car ready to sell and I've been stripping a piano (yes, my son and I have started restoring pianos too). But tonight, I've had to settle for vegging. That means I have to work harder at trusting God to provide financially. Since I am someone who likes to get things done, I've had to adapt an attitude of grace into my life that accepts the fact that I am not going to get things done as quickly as other people get them done. When I find myself stressed, it is usually because I have found myself letting others pressure me to live by their schedule. I then remember that I have to maintain the schedule that my body and my children's bodies can do. Then the stress disappears.

Having special needs that are not always readily apparent to others is not always an easy to be... but it is the place where my children and I are, so we must exist here. I am learning to allow more joy into our lives and to stop allowing others to beat us up if we don't meet their deadlines. Life is just too short for the crapola. When we discover that each of us is here for a specific purpose, we will then realize that we are each gifted to do a specific thing in the world and in the middle of doing that thing... we will find the grace to do it all without stress and actually find joy in doing it.

The trips to Disney World... well, they will have to wait until I have the ability to take them. I will also have to have three college students to help my kids go on rides as I can't do it all by myself anymore... but that is ok cause I know when the time is right, it will come together. If I am faithful to love others as God puts them in my path, then God will take care of loving me.

I just want to get it right while I'm alive on this earth... that is all... and if I can't get it right with these three... the loves of my life, then I don't have a reason to live on this earth. These three lives are the most important lives of any other lives that I will ever touch, so it is tantamount that I place my focus first on them. The rest of it will all fall into place.

I guess I'm writing this tonight for someone, so just know that if you are facing some difficult challenge... you have it in you to get through it. I have been through so much in my short 45 years... and I am still alive and kicking. So... realize that you are worth it, you have the ability to make it through and then look for the light at the end of the tunnel... and I will be there holding the lantern cheering you on.

Merry Christmas.... from RamyB and my children, The Lysaker Children, Storm, Soren and Audrey

Go to http://ramybakke.blogspot.com to see their Christmas picture.

As I move to monitor my travelling hats, I remember that I must move through the gate called, Thanksgiving.  A week ago, I took off one of my hats, the graduate student - doctoral program hat, for about a year.  For that, I am thankful.  It gives my brain a much needed break and my body, a much needed rest.

I am reminded continually how blessed I truly am.  Every morning that I wake up in a warm bed, I remember to walk through the gate called, Thanksgiving.  This gate, if I walk through it daily, reminds me that my needs are provided for daily.  When I am tempted to get caught up in the gate, called Worry, I must remove myself and walk back over to the gate of Thanksgiving. 

When I was reading in the book of Ezekiel the other day, the writer was describing the gates of the Temple.  Some of them were lined with beveled windows... I wondered if the Gate, called Thanksgiving was a gate that was lined with windows.  Then there were parts of the temple that ascended as if they were arranged in ascending stairs... much like an open heaven.  The gate posts and lamp posts were palm trees.  I had a picture of the temple being in the desert, an open temple, where the prayers and thanksgivings of the people ascended into heaven as if there were no temple at all, just the prayers of the people... and the thanksgivings of the people. 

So many people forget to remember how blessed they truly are.  They can look at the bills and not know how to see past the mountain, yet not see that they are in the midst of finding out how to climb up the mountain. 

Remembering to be thankful has been my quest this week, every day, getting up and giving thanks for each and every day... each and every moment, even when I don't know where the finances will come from, where the answers will come from, when the mountain will be crossed over... yet, this I do know... I am not without a mighty Savior who has my best interest in His sights and has a plan worked out to help me through it all.  I read recently that he helps the mother with her lambs... it is His way!

He is for whom I am most thankful.  Jesus, the Christ.

Be blessed this season, after all, we celebrate His coming to earth... to save us all from sin and reconcile us all to the Father...

with love,

RamyB

There is nothing more challenging to a single mother than having to balance the needs of her children with the need to provide for them. 

This morning, I have been challenged with the provision side of life.  As an entrepreneur with irons in several fires, and as a mother, I wear several hats.  I wear the graduate student hat (as I finish one master's degree and work towards my doctorate), the teacher hat (as I home school my children), the disciplinarian hat (as I fill in for their much absent father), the counselor hat (as I help my children decide what is right and what is wrong in their lives), the spiritual leader hat (as I try to show my children how to love the Lord with all of their lives and hearts), the provider hat (as I try to find ways to earn money while taking care of their special needs), the medical hat (as I help them take their medications daily and monitor their moods and medical appointments), the animal husbandry hat (as I help my children with their pets and animals, especially when one of the animals gets sick or something happens to one of them), the business leader hat (as I try to develop business that I can do at home while taking care of my very special teens), the artist hat (as I try to create in the moments when I find myself stressed beyond imagination), and the woman hat (which I rarely get to wear). 

The provider hat is struggling today.  There always seems to be more bills than there is money.  Although I am doing free lance work to bring in money, the cash flow just isn't there.  The hardest part is keeping my children feeling secure in the midst of all of it.  Making sure that their needs are met, that their feet are warm, their hearts are nourished, that their bodies are fed... that their spirits feel cherished.  Balancing the hats today... it is a season of major trusting for me.  It is not like I can just go and "create money"... I wish I could.  All I can do is trust... trust that the money will come in.  Trust that the Lord will guide me in how to provide for my children and how to pay for the bills... how to either earn, or sell, or trust Him for all that we have need of...

I feel stretched beyond belief today... yet it is belief that holds me still before the Creator of the Universe trusting His hands to hold me near.

RamyB

Wow... where did 2006 go?... November 1st already...

It seems like yesterday that I was celebrating my 45th birthday in January of this year.  Yet, already 10 months have passed.  It is amazing just how much has happened in this past year.  I know I have been changed.  My perspectives have changed. 

The most prominent feature of my life right now, right here is that I've learned to be content.  I've learned not to depend on human beings for emotional support... I've learned that I must go to my Heavenly Father for all of my needs and it is there that I find true contentment.  It seems like everytime I start to believe or depend on a human to be there for me I get messed up.  But when I refocus my thoughts and my beliefs and my dependency... to be solely on the Lord... there I am the most free.  I am free to be me in the best way.  I know that I answer to Him and to my Lord Jesus.  I know that those other people who are close to me... well... they are close when they want to be close and I will hold them with an open hand.  For most likely, tomorrow, they will find something else to occupy their time.  Life in America is so complicated.  We make life complicated... we don't know how to take the time to join with others.  Hence... there is but one adjustment to make and that is to learn to be content with the societal norm. 

I have learned to ask my Heavenly Father for close time with my human friends and family.  He has blessed me with many animals... we rescued another puppy tonight... (back to four dogs, three cats and a rabbit... hehehe).  Yet... closeness... and aloneness are both ok.  They have their place.  They define our boundaries.  I have found that the Lord causes our boundaries to fall in secure places.  He has chosen to define us if we will allow Him to do so.  For He has created such beauty and such great treasure in each and every one of us... what a great privilege to be called to the side of another treasure if even for a moment, a breath... an experience that has Divinity written all over it.  It is those divine moments that makes contentment purely glorious.  I can really enjoy divine contacts and divine connections as I know they are God ordained and God-forged.  For what God forges... man has difficulty breaking. 

Hence, in deep relationship with Heavenly Father I find myself securely defined... comforted, treasured, believed in and loved with a depth no human could ever convey... and that simply frees my human friends from the liability of having to be something that they may or may not be able to be.  I know what I am capable of being.  I know that I want my yes to be yes and my no to be no... beyond that... I want my arms to speak love, my eyes to speak endearment, and my lips to utter praise and soft petals of kindness.  I want my feet to usher in Heavenly realms wherever I go.  I want my presence to resemble that of my Father who lives in Heaven.

The rest is simply frosting on the cake...

My best and my love to you,

Ramy B

Prayer 101 - What you bind is a legal requirement... in essence a restraining order... that the party restrained has to obey or end up in jail... (paraphrased from Pastor Dony McGuire, The River at Music City, Wednesday, October 18, 2006).

On the way home from church tonight, I was pondering tonight's lesson.  As I pondered a picture of the Orthodox Jew came to my mind.  In Old Testament times and in many Orthodox Judaic places in the world today, a Jewish man would bind the Word of God to his forehead in what was called a phlactery.  In other words, a small black box tied about his head with a leather strap. 

Tonight, as I pondered Pastor Dony's lesson on binding as a legal requirement that restrains the enemy, I also pondered the Jew who binds the Word of God on his mind.  We, then as Christians and fellow sojourners in faith, in prayer can bind the Word of God on our minds, to our thoughts... to our thought processes.  Since the Word of God does not come back void and it is sharper than a two-edged sword, then we have to trust that the Word will work its way with our minds.  I also moved on from there to faith.  Knowing that faith is a gift from God... that God enables us to have faith...I thought about binding my faith to my heart that I would not lose faith. 

It has so many applications... that are positive for the people of God.

Today... I am going to focus on binding the Word of God on my mind... and on my thoughts... and on my thought processes and on binding faith upon my heart that I would not lose faith... and for all those that I pray for... that they will see that all things are theirs in Christ Jesus (1 Cor. 3:21b-23).

With love,

RamyB

When He gives you the phone number~

This morning I had some time to soak in the early morning sunshine before the children were awake.  I sat quietly drinking my coffee and listened to the birds as they talked their morning gossip column and planned their day.  Then there came a still small voice speaking an instruction... "Call so and so medical social worker at so and so hospital and here is the number 555-5555, talk to her about..."  Well, immediately I remembered that I had a prior professional relationship with this social worker and knew her name and had worked with her before but had forgotten her phone number, yet God forgets nothing = "no-thing."  So I chose to immediately get up from my sun filled stoop on the front porch and go in and call before I forgot the instruction. 

These promptings... these still small voices... I've learned to obey and when He gives you the phone number... there is no doubt in my mind that it is something I have to do immediately.

I think I'm going to and catch some more of the sunshine... listen for His promptings... and if He gives you the phone number, act right away.

With love this morning,

RamyB