i don't know if it's just me but i know way too many mellow dramatic guys.

i have been one of those anti-dramatic people for as long as possible and you know what the funny thing is the guys i hang out with are the ones that bring all the dramma around.  i have had more problems with guys pms.ing than any of my female friends ever have.

i know the guys always complain about dramma this and dramma that. and they're the ones that cause it.

like i said maybe its just me but thats the way things seem to be going for me lately.

Wasted Pity

Dedicated to my father, though he was not a rock star he was a great musician this is for him.

They say pity is a wasted effort.

I ask who do you waste it on?

Do you waste it on the bum on the street?

Or the rock star on the stage in front of you?

I say the rock star.

Because he (or she) has everything at his finger tips:

Drugs, money, girls, parties, cloths, drinks.

Because he lives in another world.

A world full of greed, lust, and one with out people.

Monsters lurk in every corner:

Users, abusers, everyone that wants of him.

And those that are true friends are never evident

until he falls.

Those that want whats best for him are often

over run by the greed of others.

Who can he trust, how dose he know.

His head grows his ego can not be contained.

He is too good for family but not for drugs.

He has moved on to those worthy of his new

spot light.

Marriage becomes a move for more media attention,

or better political leverage.

What was once a role model for teens is now a drug

addict who cusses on stage and talks of getting high.

A simple home is too small.

More room is needed for parties.

Food becomes more and more expensive.

The drugs become part of your life overtaking you.

You live to perform.

To be treated like a god.

Everyone loves you for what you do for what

you have.

Because to them you have it all.

To them you have the perfect life.

But truly for this I pity you.

You will never know what true friendship

is until you hit rock bottom.

You will always think deep down that there is an

emptiness within you and you will never be able to

buy something to fill it.

You sing of love but will never be sure

you have found it until trials come.

You will be burnt out and in the end you will

have nothing but an empty house and the

memories of parties.

You will loose sight of why you perform and unless

you find it again you will be empty and never

know why.

You will blame everyone that was around you or

even the drugs.

And all the while want for the life you grew

to hate back.        

Until one day you snap.

The next question is when you do break

Will you realize that you can perform

Without all the drugs and drinking and girls;

Or will you wallow in self-pity until you kill

Yourself; or until someone helps you.

Some people say pity is a waste of time.

I ask who do you waste it on?

What is the plroblem with latin guys?  Note: if you are male and of latin decent this may or may not be intended for you. 

A coworker askes me out and I say no.  You might say that that would be the end of it, but no.  He settles for asking me out several times and then hitting on me.  It's not exactly okay but he only stays at work for afew days every few months so I've figured out ways of dealing with him.

So then the new guy comes I've bloged about the first time he asked me out well he asked again.  The bright side to this one is that he and I don't see each other very offten and he dosn't talk to me when the other guys are around which is almost all the time and even when they're not he still keeps to himself a lot.

The problem they both won't leave me alone!  What is so complicated about "go away" or better yet "get lost"?  I've been growing out my hair and it's gotten long enough to where it up in a pony tail.  I took it down because it was loose and right when I was about to put it back up when who should walk around the corner but the guy that won't stop hitting on me.  So for the rest of the day it was "take your hair out, please?" though the please was left out some times.  Then came the "why not don't you know you look sexy?"  The guy is as old as my mother!!!!!  ewww!  Then started the "Don't you want to look sexy?" 

For starters I am not that attractive.  Secondly I don't worry about looks who cares what anyone else thinks.  If I am comfortabel then I'm okay.  I am the only one that I know of girl wise that walks into her closet walks out dressed and is happy.  So no I don't care if I look "Sexy."  After he tells me I am different I threten to call him Fez if he dons't stop.  I doubt he knew who Fez was but it got him to shut up so it's cool. 

The only problem: The relief will only last until the next day I work.  

Everyone claims they have the weirdest family and hen someone else comes up and takes the cake.  So in honor of old traditions I'm going to take this oppurtunity to tell you a bit about my family.

  On my dads side you have the traditional but none the less odd Mexicans.  When you go over to visit there is usually a party going on.  Which means that there is a goat on a pit in the back yard and the only reason it's back there is because there are too many cars in the ront yard.  When there are not parties going on my gradfather is always grilling something and making venisn jerky.  that sounds great right?  Sure as long as you don't mind walking past at least one if not up to five dear bleeding out.

     My grandmother is a happy large woman and if you ever go and spend time at her house you are garenteed to gain about ten pounds.  Word of advise always go there hungry cause wether u r or not dosn't mater u will have to eat or insult her which is not very advisable. 

     My aunts and uncles on that side r loud and always in a hury.  There is never a dull moment with them either.  If you hate drama then don't go there.  They are always in compotition with one another if you go there bring an extra bag if you go shopping then you will come back with a crap load of stuff. 

Thats not that bad do you say.  If you have ever seen the movie Big Fat Greek Wedding then you will understand what I mean when I say that my family makes that movie look normal.  If you change around the nationalities to Mexican and German then you have my mother and fathers wedding only add another pastor because the service was bylingual. 

Then there is my moms side of the family.  They are the normal PA farmers good John Deer people.  They go to church every Sunday and are a huge part of the Brouthern In Christ Church.  They seem normal and they probubly are.  

The holidays are fun with that family.  Or at least interesting...

First thing No Drinking, no drugs.  Oddly enough it's a great time.  The family all meets at the old farm house and my great aunt sits in this chair that she and my great grandmother used to fight over.  Trying to get her to move is about as likely as moving a mountain with a toothpick.  My cousin Dick has to gorge himself on all the dishes that are served at the lunch portion of the meals (and there are three). 

Christmas dinner for example consists of three types of turky two kinds of ham and at least one form of chicken.  Vegitables usually come in about five to six different dishes cold and heated.  Then there are the potatoes mashed roasted and sweet there are about three differet plates.  And after all that there are several random side dishes pickles, olives, carrot stixs, ect.  Then comes deasert, five kinds of cookies, three to five pies, fruit dishes, and some other types of sweets.

After that it is catch up time and all the family sits and talks while the most of the women do the dishes and the teens go out to find things to do around the farm.

This consists of anything from throwing chickens from the second story of the old barn and watching them flap all the way down to shooting low powerd beebees at ducks and watching them chase around my brother.

This is followed by games and more quality time with the family.  My grandfather and his brothers start comparing their knowlage on the latest John Deers and other tractors.  My grandmother and her sisters and inlaws compairs the latest thing that they are collecting and or that their hustbands made for them.  And if they really want to start compeating they break out the latest thing they made.  All of this is done in a happy light hearted maner so no one is offended, that would just be a real downer now wouldn't it.

To put it simply I scare both sides of my family because I am the only kid that dosn't act happy all the time.  O well thats my family or at least a quick over view.     

I love my friends life with them is never dull.  that old friend i met up with last night ended up talking all night and crashing at her place.  o well its funny we haven't seen each other and yet sometimes its as if we're still in school. 

one of my friends when my bf broke up with me made me walk w/ her for three hours.  all i wanted to do was go to bed but she wouldn't let me so i wouldn't get depressed.  if we had had any money at the time we would have gone and played pool.  o well.  another one of my friends knows at times its futile to try to chear me up especialy if i don't want to be so he justs sitts and watches anime with me usually something gorry and thats cool then i usually con him into me ice cream.  o well.  my other friends idea of getting over my x was to make him jelous.  juvinile i know.  and that's followed by listening to random bands on the radio and talking about her latest expliots.  o well.

of all my friends i can't think of a better group to hang with just never all of them at once that's just a disaster and most of the time it dosn't even wait to happen it just dose.  o well.

Ever notice how a lot of shops are closed on the 4th but then every one just goes to the mall.  I went to go to the movies and the place wa full.  Any way this is a disaster of a day which has seemed to be a trend in the last few holidays.  Valentines day my x got out of jail great.  Today my best friend is sick and a huge kill joy.  My other friend and I have figured out for the hundredth time that there is really nothing to do in New Port Nowhere (richey).  And to top it off this was going to be the one yr anaversery for my bf and me but instead he desided to move to Tenesee with some old friends and break up w/ me that was a great add on.  At least he did it two weeks ago but it still dosn't make it any easier at times. 

Any way on to a happier note my friends horse I'm training is getting a lot better.  You can check him out on my pics page.  He's the paso with the long hair Pippin. 

Well it looks like rain.. Big surprise every year at this time of day it's the same thing.  thretens then dose right befor the big fireworks at Coachman Park are set up.  Usualy it's just enough to get the people to run back to their cars then it stops right about when they get there.  The only difference is I'm not going this year.  Hey look in the time it took for me to type that the rain started and stopped.

Any way i should go and see about finding something to do that dosn't involve drinking or tatoos, don't have the mony right now for that stuff.  Talk at you later.    

Ever have one of those days where you don't know which way was up?  That was me today i even forgot my wallet at a resterant i havent done that in years.  I don't know I think i've lost what little bit of a mind i had left.  O whell it had to go sooner or later guess i should be glad it was sooner otherwise i would have been dependant on it.  Looking for another job bites and it's not easy with everything falling in on you at once and that's a place where too many of us congregate.  This blog has turned out to be more of a live journal but hey if you don't like it it's your own falt for reading it.  One thing i think is funny is how all these teens complain about their parents invading their privacy then they get a myspace page and tell the world everything; anyone else confused by that?

 well that's all i got and probubly all you can stand to read for now see ya

I have come to a conclution: people are stupid.  They complain about pretty much everything and do nothing about it.  I on ocation am no exception.  And add to the fact that my spelling sucks I have no room to talk but lacking in anything else to do I thought I would state the odvious.  Oh yah and if anyone cares and I doubt they do a web sight is going to be set up for some of my art so if you like what you see on my pics just click on the link when its set up.