And, very importantly, print your Ceremony in sixteen point justified font, so your Officiant/Minister/Judge/Justice of the Peace will have no problem reading it.

Another problem I ran into is what I call "cookie cutter" or the easy repeated way to perform a Ceremony.  As guests, we attend a Ceremony, sit in our chair and all of a sudden, without notice, there is the Officiant, the Groom and his entourage up front.  How rude and surprising to the guests!  I firmly believe that the Officiant should do some sort of a "Welcome" to your guests along with any needed announcements and instructions including the turning off of cellular telephones to set up what should be set up as a warm loving time.

I am also big on equality.  If the Bride enters down the main aisle so should the Groom.  He is an equal half of the equation.  If the Bride is to be escorted by her Father; why not by her Mother also?  She is typically closer to the Bride than the Father anyway.  When they get to the front corner chair the Bride and her Mother can hug and kiss, the Mother can be seated and then the Father walks the Bride up to the Groom.

And since the Bride is being escorted by her parents, why can't the Groom be escorted by his parents and seated in the front row?  How many Ceremonies have we all been to that the Groom's parents are never recognized and therefore treated like second rate citizens?

If the Bride is being given away during the Ceremony by her Father, then why not by her Mother also?  Therefore, why shouldn't the Groom's parents be able to give him away?  Equality!  I also believe that the parents should give the Bride and Groom away during the Ceremony prior to the vows.  Doing the give-away when the Bride is brought to the Groom is typically missed by the guests and it doesn't stand out.  I have whoever is giving the Bride and/or Groom away stand as a Wedding Album photo opportunity when they do the give-a-way.

As to the entrance processional, I feel that as a guest it looks so much nicer and loving to have the Maid of Honor escorted down the aisle by the Best Man and the Bridesmaids by the Groomsmen.  They reach the Officiant then split to their respective positions.  The theme of a Ceremony is the making of a couple, so when the wedding party enters as couples, it keeps with the theme and you don't shove the Grooms party in from the side as if they are not equal to the Brides party.  It also allows your guests and your photographer to focus on one aisle instead of looking around wondering who is coming next and from where.  But the bottom line is; do as you wish.

You will find that most of the Ceremonies in my compilation have multiple "I Do's" or "I Will's" unlike the traditional multiple questions and one "I Do" or "I Will".  An "I Do" or "I Will" after each question shows a greater commitment to that individual question.

As to the rings, equality again!  Unless you have a Ring Bearer, the Best Man should have the Grooms ring and the Maid of Honor should have the Brides ring.  The Grooms ring is too large for the Maid of Honor's finger and she has no pockets, so she simply places the Brides ring on a finger that slides easily over her knuckle.  If the Ring Bearer has the real rings, then the Best Man should be the one to tie the rings on the pillow since he will be the one to untie them.

Hopefully this will be your only or final Wedding Ceremony.  Do it the way you want to and not some "cookie cutter" way a wedding coordinator, Officiant or family member wants you to.

I sincerely hope that you will enjoy the Ceremonies in my compilation.  You will find many repetitions because so many couples, as well as guests, like the same text.  Also you will find that most of the quotes, poems, passages, prayers etc. have been altered many times by couples to fit their Ceremonies and their feelings.

And finally, your "Ceremony Words" are the most important part of your Wedding, more important than the paper the invitations are printed on, the seating arrangement etc.  Make "YOUR WORDS" meaningful and memorable to you, your families and your guests.  If you can make your guests cry a bit, laugh a bit and tell you afterward how much they enjoyed the words of your Ceremony, you will have succeeded.

PLANNING YOUR CEREMONY
Your wedding is like a stage play.  You are the stars and your guests are the audience.  You, the Officiant and your wedding party are the cast.  You have a production crew, a budget, a timeline, script, costumes, props, a set, lighting, make-up, camera work, a rehearsal and a final performance.

Include a detailed map with your wedding invitations and a contact phone number for the day of the Ceremony.  If your Ceremony is to begin at noon, invite your guests for 11:45am.  If your invitation says 12:00 noon, most guests will not start arriving until just prior to noon or after and this will delay your Ceremony and eat into your reception time.  With delays you will have a chain reaction of other delays such as your catering service.  And if your vendors have another wedding to work after yours, delays will cause them to cut short their time at your Ceremony.

If you are having your wedding outdoors in the summer, take into consideration how brutal the sun can be.  If your guests will be mingling, make sure there is a shaded area for them.  If possible, make refreshments available.  Standing can be miserable for older people and for women in high heels.  If your there are no chairs or bathrooms, don't make your guests wait too long for your Ceremony to begin.

Have your paperwork completed and checks written or cash for your vendors in advance.  On the day of your Ceremony, it is best if you designate a friend to manage money and attend to details.  The Best Man is usually best for this.  Make sure money and paperwork is handled before the Ceremony begins.  Afterwards, you will be too elated and busy socializing with your guests.

Your marriage license comes in an envelope pre-addressed to the county recorder's office.  Inside the envelope you will find a form for requesting a certified copy of your license.  I recommend that you get at least two certified copies.  There are many cases which you may be required to provide proof of your marriage, such as changing the Brides name on her passport or drivers license when you renew them or proving you are married in order to be included on your spouse's health insurance and many other instances.  Fill out the forms in advance and bring them to the Ceremony in the envelope with the license.  Enclose a check made out to the county clerk for the amount of each certified copy you desire.  Enclose the Officiates fee in the same envelope.  The Officiant mails it to the county and it can take from four to six weeks to receive your certified copy(ies).  I have my couples take care of their Marriage License paperwork and my fee at their rehearsal.  That way I don't have to hassle them after the Ceremony when their families, guests, photographer and their wedding party want all their attention.

Your wedding coordinator or a designated friend should act as a coordinator between the Ceremony setting and the Bride's quarters.  It is important that the Officiant, the musicians and others involved know the exact moment when the Ceremony procession is to begin and when the Bride is to enter.  Your Officiant should coordinate most of this for you.  Rehearsals are a good idea if you have more than four people in your wedding party.  Delegate responsibility.  The Groom and his party should greet people as they arrive and seat them when it is time to begin your Ceremony.

As to seating:  The age old tradition of the Bride upfront on the left with her family seated on the left and visa versa for the Groom is a terrible tradition.  What do the Brides or Grooms families get to see - the side or back of their heads!  It is much nicer and loving for the Brides family to be seated on the right side (Grooms side) so they can see their daughter etc., and share in her emotions and be able to take great pictures along with the Grooms family seated on what we take for granted is the Brides side.

You should face each other during the Ceremony.  This makes a much more enjoyable Ceremony for your guests who can then see all the apparel, flowers and share in the emotions on your faces and your photographer will get better photographs.  During the Ceremony spend very little time looking at the Officiant, look at each other.  Don't be formal or stiff, be touchy and feely.  After you are pronounced husband and wife and kiss, turn and face your guests and stay put for ten seconds with your wedding party tightening up to you for your photographer and guests to get great straight on pictures full of smiles.

If you are going to recite any lines during the Ceremony, rehearse them.  Practice your vows to one another out loud.  This is also true for any readings, poems or passages that may be given by you, a relative or friend.  Make sure your Officiant and readers have a microphone, if needed.

If there are any scriptural passages, blessings or cultural rituals you would like to incorporate in your Ceremony, they should be included because you want them included and not because of what someone else wants.  After all, it is YOUR Ceremony.

Two tips:
1. Do not book your honeymoon flight or cruise reservations using the Brides married name. You will not have proof of marriage until you receive your recorded copy(ies) from your County Recorder (four to six weeks).
2. Print your Ceremony invitation start time for fifteen minutes prior to your Ceremony start time so your guests arrive on time, your Ceremony starts on time and you do not become forced to shorten your reception time.

I have compiled a 134 page book titled: "Wedding Ceremonies Devoted to Love and Commitment" available at the below web site. With this compilation you can easily compile your very own personalized Wedding Ceremony, print it, hand it to your Officiant, Minister, Judge, Justice of the Peace and say: "Here, read this".

My compilation includes: instructions, planning your ceremony, ceremony welcome examples, ring examples, ring repeat after me examples, vow examples, vows for mid-life and senior couples, vows to read to each other or repeat after me examples, prayers, what we love about each other examples, children inclusion examples, unity candle ceremonies, unity sand ceremony, unity wine ceremony, rose exchange ceremonies, rose presentation to parents, dove release ceremonies, breaking of the glass ceremony, the seven blessings, vow renewal ceremonies, wedding party entrance and positions examples.

Simply email me to check my availability, pricing, to receive two free Ceremony samples or to receive my compilation. Please include your Ceremony date, location, start time and the Bride and Grooms first names. Reverend Michael
Phone: 949-494-4200 9am - 7pm PST

Email Reverend Michael

ReverendMichael.com

You can order my book here: "Wedding Ceremonies Devoted to Love and Commitment"