A friend of mine recently got engaged. She utilized me to do it. I was instrumental in making the guy, after 9 years, actually propose. The interesting thing is, this friend thought I didnt know what she was doing or the game she was playing.

She says I had my marriage and now she wants the same and more. Well then, heres hoping when you seperate he turns your own family against you. When he develops cancer you go back to him out of the love you shared only to have it rekindled to the point you sit there and make promises to the poor guy about the future that you know you wont be able to keep and on one rainy September day you bury him only to have his dad come up to you and tell you "Of all the relationships he had, in the end you were the only one to give a shit." Only then are we on equal ground. Divorce doesnt count. Oh and the cancer has to be in the reproductive region to squash any hopes and dreams you have of ever having your own kids together.

When you were dating, he neglected you. You have a lifetime of that coming for many reasons. The one most important reason he is gay and doesnt want to come out of the closet. You may manipulate him into giving you a child of his own after getting him semi drunk and you looking at the clock wondering when will it be over. Its time for a celebration. You have a lifetime of loathing, regret, alcoholism, depression and self pity to look forward to.

You want so much, yet you will probably achieve so little. I wish you find everything in life that you desire and then more. I want you to be happy with the decision you have made so I will leave you with four very important life points:

You have no Plan B. Honey you not only nuked that bridge but you sprayed it with Sarin gas to make it uncrossable.

Karma is a bitch

Have no regrets

You reap what you sow


With that said and done, talk to you on Monday. Really though, congratulations. Im very excited for you.

Today I lost my temper with someone at work.  I mean REALLY lost my temper.  Luckily reasoning and goddamn sympathy took over, this is the last time.  I have talked to this chick three times.  Three times you are out.  Im done talking and being friendly so now I'm through with it.  So now its just time to ignore her.  She is digging herself a hole that she will find herself unable to escape from, Im not going down with her.  Thats a path she will go down.  You can lead a mule to water, but you cant make em drink.

Sheryl Crow may have said it best "If it makes you happy, it cant be that bad"  Now I must be fucking nuts quoting Sheryl Crow.  I think its the countless years of bull I have had to put up with, who knows.  The point of this blog entry is simple.  Leave me alone, I am OK.  I really hate people trying to analyze my life and what they percieve as a crappy life.   Im single.  I am single for a reason.  I do date, I do go out, I have a few friends who are women.  I am not gay, I have no desire to be with a man and I am secure in my sexuality that if I think a guy is good looking I will say it.  It doesnt mean I want to go off and have sex with him in the back of my Dakota?  No.  I have gay friends who I will go out with, go drinking with and if Im too goddamn drunk I will crash at their place in leiu of a DWI charge.  Do I think they will rape me while I sleep?  No. While the woman Im seeing more of now has a lisp and sounds like Sylvester the cat when she talks, I dont care.  She is nice, leads an interesting life and is an all around great person. Not to mention she is hot.  We hang out, go drinking talk on the phone and text useless babble to each other when we are bored.   Does it make her my "honey" "Sugar" "Sweetie pie".  No.  If either of us wants to take it to the next level and be a couple I will evaluate my needs at the time.  If she cant live with that she can take hit the road like Kim and Stephanie have.  I live within walking distance of my parents.  My dad is disabled, has had 2 heart attacks, a plethora of health problems and cant do his own yard work so I do it for him.  So fucking what.  Do I ever want to re-marry, yes, but Im not going to go off and marry the first woman who comes around just because Im in my thirties.  I work for Starbucks.  Who the hell cares, if it doesnt bother me should it bother you.  They produce damn fine coffee.  Its a great job, and I have one of the hottest bosses I have ever worked with.  Yes she is female.  I also drink coffee at Caribou and Port City Java when Im in downtown Raleigh, Im not a traitor to my company.  Im thirsty and they have free wifi.  See the pattern here?  The trend?  Im content, Im happy.  I have lived a good life, I can honestly say I have done everything I have ever wanted to do in life, well hold on, there are two things left.  Story for another time.  Anywho.  Im sick of people analyzing the "faults" of my life.  They arent faults if Im happy.  Im going to continue to lead my lfe, Im going to go to clubs, drink, hit on girls who are younger than me and collect phone numbers.  When, not if, but when I decide to settle down I will make the right choice make her my queen, help populate the earth with the product of my seed and live until I die.  So relatives, aquantinces and friends.  Dont fret over my life.  I am just fine.

Chris Benoit was found dead today along with his wife and 7 year old son. Benoit was one of the greatest performers ever in pro-wrestling. Whether the card determined for him to win or lose you knew it wouldnt be a squash match and that you would get your moneys worth. Local authorites in Fayette County GA, have settled on the possibility that it was a double murder and suicide but as seeing there is no physical evidence such as gunshot, stab wounds or exterior bruising they have to wait for autopsy and toxicology reports to detrmine the guilty party. My Thoughts? This really fucking sucks. I had followed Benoits career for years from New Japan, Mexico, the indy circuit in the US and to ECW, WCW, and WWE. He goes right up there with the greats like Lou Thesz, Bruno Summartino, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and a few others. For me it was really sad news and I will miss his performances in wrestling. He is truly irreplacable.

Did I have one? Oh hell no, wish I did. What I am referring to is WWE One Night Stand. It was a great Pay Per View. They out did themselves. Everything from the ladder match to the WWE Championship match were all just great. The Kane/Mark Henry fight left you scratching your head as Kane didnt tap out but the ref called the match. The Edge Batista match was very well executed. Both of them had great performances. Overall a decent pay-per-view and does TNA Slammiversary stand a chance? They will have to raise the bar a little if the card keeps going the way it is I probably wont buy it. The card sucks, the only match worth anything is the King of the mountain match with Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and whoever wins on Impact. The King of the mountain match is a ladder match where the winner wins the world heavyweight championship, scratch that, TNA Championship. It hasnt achieved world Title status since it hasnt been challenged outside of the United States. But the point being the ladder match at One Night Stand was great because you have the Hardy's and Hass/Benjamin who all have experience in ladder matches, AJ Styles and Samoa Joe while they have competed in ladder matches the performaces in the past by the two have sucked. we can only hope. But, a retired football player, a wannabe cowboy, a washed up tag team (The Steiner brothers), a Ted DiBiase wannabe all lead to a shitty pay per view at Slammiversary.

BTW, happy birthday to my nephew Trey who just turned 5 years old today.

I went up to Virginia for an indy wrestling event which was pretty cool although I spent most of my Saturday on the road. Forgot the event, almost blew it off but hell I didnt have to work until 7:45pm so i said screw it and went. It was one of the better indy shows I have been to. Pretty good match line up. WARNING: If you actually know who indy wrestlers are you probably dont have much of a life. for you non-wrestling fans an indy event means independent. These guys dont work for any certain promotion like WWE, TNA, ROH, NWA etc. etc. Although sometimes WWE or TNA wrestlers serve as a catalyst such as special referees, or beat down on the heel (bad guy) or to interfere in main events. They are also used to bring up attendance and fill seats when they are advertised to be there. This was a charity show for the Virginia Tech incident so all money raised was for a good cause.

This brings me to what made my Saturday SUCK. I bet 15 bucks on Chuck Liddell to beat Quinton "Rampage" Jackson in the UFC PPV. Chuck made a prediction, that there would be an early knockout in round 1. Great prediction but it was "Rampage" that laid him out 1:53 seconds in the main event in the first round. Great prediction Chuck you asshole. You couldnt wait until round 2. Jesus F$%^king Christ man, not only did you lose the UFC light Heavyweight Championship, you lost me 15 bucks.. I wanted to knock him out again. Oh well, life goes on. Until next time, PEACE....

Wrestlemania 23. I watched the Hall of Fame Induction ceremony then watched the main show. Had a couple of friends down to watch it and we split the costs and being the real friends they are it was money up front and none of the "I'll pay you back" bullshit. So it was good times and probably the best Wrestlemania I have seen since Wrestlemania 2000. Of course it was worth the fundage to see Vince McMahon get his head shaved. Of course someone, do I need to say, asked me to tape it and let him watch it. I did tape it but he best be prepared to come off a Benjamin. I did some yardwork today and got my ass ate up by insects of course. As for Wrestlemania, get the replay it was good and Blah, Blah, Blah.

Onto relationships. In that department it still sucks I have had some come, some go and I think I have finally narrowed down the problem. Im too picky and I pick the failures. For instance, Im currently pursuing one that will most definately fail. Oh well, maybe one day I will pick the one that wont be a disaster. We can only hope.

Now to employment. Work is pretty good. Its been a learning experience. Im used to jobs where I self supervise and generally only talk to my boss maybe a few times a month and see them every couple of months. Now Im exposed to coworkers everyday and the boss everytime and boy its a challenge. I think I have adjusted to the job and kept my temper in check as I havent choked anyone out or nailed em in the family jewels. Some customers suck. For example one lady on Saturday who was using the conference room wanted me to check to see if her flight was leaving on time. I thought about it for a second and while one part of me wanted to say " Go fuck yourself" the other was screaming " Go fuck yourself with a barbed wire dildo" and they both realized I need to hang onto this job and were screaming " Go soak your head" I was nice and was polite and said "Sure thing ma'am" Went for a few seconds, came back and said " Your flight is leaving on time" and being the rude biatch she was didnt look at me waved and said, "You are dismissed" and I could visually seeing myself taking her laptop that she was using and smashing it on her head. I just left as that probably wouldnt have been a good career move.

So right now, I feel at a loss. Career wise, relationship wise and I feel a little pang of getting a little irritated. I will persevere, I will move on as the streams of life are many and there are many more I will need to cross. Of course Im fairly healthy, not in jail and not in a shitty relationship so at least; an upside.

Would you cry? Would you immediately have regrets? Would you be a little nicer to people? I can tell you how I would react, just shrug my shoulders and hope I get it right in the next life. Regrets, being nice and crying do not solve the problem that you will die. Rejoice, for you will be able to start over fresh. Dont worry you will be back. Death is nothing more than a state of being. And as always, Life sucks and then you die.

My brothers wedding went off without a problem. It was really nice and good to see. Congrats to em both. Now the reception was great. I got shitfaced, tore back. Flirted, dance and sang. What the hell. It was great. Yes I did have a fight with some bushes and the bushes won. Dont ask.

Well everythings been pretty decent. My brother is getting married and I had to go be fitted for a tuxedo. That sucked its costing me $130.00 and Im not the one getting married. The trucks up and running and by the way did I mention I have a new job? Things have been looking up, heres to hoping they dont look down. My Trusty PC is dying so it might be time to make a new purchase, well I already have one in mind so thats what Im working to right now. Excuse the rough draft style of my post. MySpace doesnt support Ubuntu Linux.