Be unique and different, say yes.

I bet you ..$20 you're gonna turn me down.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile.
So, would you smile for me?

I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

Hi there! My name is John, and you are Beautiful.

You are the reason men fall in love.

Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...

Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.

Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?

If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

Most people watch the Olympics cause it only happens once every four years. I'm talking to you because meeting someone like you can only happen once in a lifetime.

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.

Give friend $20. Walk up to target. Friend says, "You're right. Those are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Hands you the $20 and walks away.

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

Wow.... You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

Are you Jeff's girlfriend? No? Don't you know Jeff? He told me he was dating the MOST PERFECT ANGEL IN TOWN I saw you here and assumed it was you.

(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.

Bond. James Bond.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Wow.

Could we shake hands? I wanna tell all my friends I was touched by an angel.

[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"

Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.

I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile. "Calling Shotgun" is the act of claiming the position of Shotgun for one's self.

As this position is the most coveted of all positions when riding in a car, the following list of rules has been created to ensure that Shotgun can be acquired in a fair and equitable manner by any passenger of an automobile.

The history of calling "Shotgun" goes back to the days of covered wagons and the Wild West. On a trip across the plains, the driver of a wagon would hold the reins of his horse team and concentrate on driving. This left him and the occupants of his wagon susceptible to sneak attacks from bandits and thieves. To avoid this atrocious circumstance it became necessary for one person to sit next to the driver with a shotgun and fend off the enemy.

Defending against bandits is no longer the priority of Shotgun however, but it has evolved into a pre-driving ritual that is experienced before almost every car ride across America and even the world. Because of the obvious evolution that has already occurred with Shotgun, we ask you to consider Shotgun as a living entity and be aware that it is always changing for the better good of society.


1. The Shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of wether the driver is in sight of the car

2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey, you are automatically given shotgun, untill you violate the other shotgun laws and thus, forfeit your position, the seat is yours

3. you cannot declare shot gun if someone has previosuly declared shotgun for that journey.

4. when simultaneous shotgun is called, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from the all the people who called

5. shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless you are in a multi story or underground car park!)

6. shotgun cannt be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey

7. on the call shotgun if the driver wants to mix things up a bit he can call reload, this means that all calls of shotgun before that are void and the first person to call shotgun again gets the seat... and if u plain don't like the person who called shotgun. This is often used when there is a simultanious call and the driver is unsure of the outcome, also a shotgun can have 2 barrels so a reload can only be called once

8. If a person calls shotgun and someone else really wants it they may challenge it. This is done by dropping the pants around the ankles and saying "I challenge you." If the person doesn't accept the challenge they forfeit their shotgun to the challenger. If they accept the challenge they also drop their pants to their ankles. Then they race to the car with their pants around their ankles and the first to touch the car receives shotgun.

9. Once shotgun has been called for the front seat then back left and back right can be called, thus leaving the fifth person who is travelling in the middle (or the "bitch" seat)

10. Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car. i.e. women don't own the front seat!

11. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.

12. Once the journey is underway, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if they feel the road needs their full concentration, or they simply cannot be arsed any more, duty is passed to the shotgunner. however putting on crap tunes or allowing for silence when the ipod finishes a song or ANY instances of TAKE THAT will result in demotion to bitch seat.

13. Shoe Rule, anyone calling shotgun must have their shoes on, this is to stop people running outside and calling shotgun, then having to go back inside to put their shoes on, thus slowing the journey

14. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsy's and and other girly calls!

15. despite the debate, shotgun can be used to shotgun things other than the front seat (eg back left, back right, women, not going to answer the door etc etc etc)

16. If travelling with a couple, one of the couple must shotgun the front.....no one wants to chauffer two of their mates whilst they are sat in the back all over each other

17. If someone has successfully called shotgun, this gives them no right whatsoever to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if i was drving") if the passenger does this then they forfeit their position as shotgun holder

18. if someone says "whats shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk

19. If you come up to the car and you already have whos shotgun..the driver gets in and reaches over to unlock the shotgun door. if shotgun opens it before its actually unlocked..(this happens when the driver is still trying to unlock it and person pulls on handle) they have to give up there rights as shotgun. Therefore..shotgun suicide!

20. The successful shotgunner, in the front of a vehicle, assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off licence nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is, in essence the co-pilot and therefore the enforcer of behaviour in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/water spraying/bag throwing at the passengers in the back.

21. automatic "couple's rights act 1997". This is that, if the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, they have the right to the seat of their choice.

22. The Pirate Rule - If One of the potential occupants of the vehicle is dressed (convincingly) as a pirate then they are given automatic shotgun. In the occurance of more than one pirate then a sword fight shall determine the succesful shotgunner.

23. When driving past a woman walking a dog, everyone in the car must shout of the window "who's walking who", it is the shotgunners responsiblity and failure to spot a potential heckling results in demotin to the bitch seat!

24. Rule the person in shot gun must prvide sufficeant leg room to the person behind them but only to the point where the shotgunner is still comfortible

25. The shotgunner must hold the toll ticket (he/she must not put it to the side because it falls under the seat, putting it under the car visor or in the glove compartment is ok.) The shotgunner must also find change when coming upon a toll booth.

26. When a car is going through a drive-thru of a fast food restaurant, the person next to the driver must hold all of the food items/drinks, no matter how hot or cold, until the vehicle is safely out of the drive-thru path. Then they must distribute the items to their owners.

27. If for any reason another passenger tries to wrestle said shotgunner away from the seat, the driver will intervene and place them in the bitch seat.

That's all for now. Message me with more suggestions.

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Composer: Hans Zimmer
Album: Pirates of The Caribbean 3 : At World's End (Soundtrack)
Song: Hoist The Colors

Lyrics:

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho,
thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.

The king and his men
stole the queen from her bed
and bound her in her Bones.
The seas be ours
and by the powers
where we will we'll roam.

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

Some men have died
and some are alive
and others sail on the sea
– with the keys to the cage...
and the Devil to pay
we lay to Fiddler's Green!

The bell has been raised
from it's watery grave...
Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?
We are a call to all,
pay head the squall
and turn your sail toward home!

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.


Oh, I WISH I was a pirate. My crew would sing as we sailed, we'd raid other ships, become part of the scourge of the seas... And we'd have all kinds of catchy nicknames....

Jack Sparrow: You know, for all that pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs: Like?
Jack Sparrow: I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow: [pause] Larry

I wrote another song!!! This goes out to all you quizzers out there.

k, so, out of boredom I wrote a song about quizzing...

To the Tune of Michael Jacksons 'Thriller.'.

I present to you,....
QUIZZER!!!

It's after round three
and question 'leven had jus stumped us all.
I know that my team
And twenty points, and yes that was all.
We tried to leap
But someone had just beat us to the punch!
Man, it's Jesse!
And it's still one round until break for lunch!

We're Bible quizzers
yeah that's right.
We jump on twenty questions
and for answers we do fight.
We're Bible quizzers,
now be exacting.
Studying our God's word
It is the book, the book, of Acts!

I had just jumped first
And stood there silent till it dawned on me
Correctly answered,
But there was a challenge from another team.
I want to scream!
And my rebuttal, it did me no good.
"Good jump." Says my team
And they fogive me just like I knew they would, they are so good!

Because we're quizzers
And as quizzers might
We have the Holy Spirit
And try to always do what's right!
We're Bible quizzers!
Yeah that's right.
We jump on twenty questions
and for answers, anwers, we fight!

So, pretty decent weekend, I thought.

I went on a ski retreat with my youth group: Sarah, Rachel, Zekiel, Adam, Nora and a couple cool others who are practicaly members without actually being from Mundy: Zander and Joss.

Actually, there were like 300-600 kids there... But still.

Well, Friday I saw a lot of famliar faces, which was cool. I hung out with my group plus Nutter, Zeke, Z, Joe, and Rich. They were cool. I also hung with Jeff, Flynn, and Dan a bit too. And Dave some too. And... Well, there were some kids I hung out with.

The service was pretty good, I guess.

Saturday was pretty sweet. We hung out til service started, then had small groups, then had service (it was sweet), then left for the slopes.

Yes, I know, I'm so lame: I didn't ski or snowboard. I didn't feel healthy enough. So I hung with Nutter all day, plus whoever happened to stop in. Joss was with us all day too, but me and her didn't talk as much. It turns out both of them hate having their pictures taken, and I had two cameras. If you wanna see some pictures, I'll show you later. I got good ones from the retreat.

So, we eventually left there: I was the only one dry in our van besides Joss. We talked on the way home. Me and Rachel had a heart to heart. It was... interesting, I suppose.

Then we had a talent contest. Well, a singing contest. A talent contest has more than soloists singing, but still. Sarah won. So did this kid Quinn. But Sarah was better ;) then there was a party in the lobby, then we slept.

The room was SO cold.

We woke up, we got ready, we went to service, we said goodbye, we left, we saw Lombard at Fazolis, and then we came home.

So, this weekend, I decided a few things:

*I am John Ottinger. John Ottinger does not have big problems. There's nothing the matter with him, ever.
*I'm avoiding video games for a while.
*Sick people are irritable.
*Never tell short girls about anything personal: They actually care.

In these days, a world cries out, every voice in the world screams a scream laced with despair, agony, and a great sadness. There isn't a soul on the planet that doesn't know why: Our greatest ruler, the Magistrate is dead. But I got to spend the last few weeks with him, and I recorded our talks and wrote them down in this form, that all the world may one day know what made a man great.

Day one:
"You know, John," said the potentate of the Otterian empire, "You carry a proud name. It's ages old, and still it speaks of great works. You know what it means, don't you? A blessing from God."
"Yes, potentate." I replied respectfully.
"Yes, UNCLE." He replied smiling kindly. This is the man my mother named me for. Potentate John Paul Ottinger the First, the Last, and the Only. My dear uncle John.
"But listen to me John. That name is centuries old by now. It's Hebrew. Must famously, it was Jesus' only true male relative aside from his mother and her sister: His cousin, John the Baptist. John had many followers, some merely for his looks, some for his teachings. He must have looked crazy, having lived in the desert eating locusts, dressed in camel hair."
"I bet he did uncle."
"Yes... Slow down, I can't walk this fast too long. I'm old, nephew."
"Sorry..."
We slowed our walk until we were standing in front of a bench in the royal garden.I still get breathless when I stand here.
"I still get breathless when I come here." said uncle, patting a tree affectionately. I smiled. It was a very uncle-ish thing to do. It creeped some people out to have him say what was on your mind.
"John the Baptist saw Jesus. That is amazing. But more amazing is that he was RELATED to Jesus. Jesus' brothers? They were half-brothers. Different father. Joseph wasn't his father. But Mary was his mother, and John his cousin of his mothers blood.
"John pops up again as the youngest disciple of Jesus. The only one not martyred. He was persecuted, boiled alive in oil, I think. But he saw the end of the world. He protected Mary till she died. He saw Jesus. He was great, too.
"Twenty-four popes named John. Almost Twenty-five, if the almost-John-Paul-the-Third wasn't cut out for his mental problems. Three Antipopes. Twenty-five Kings, counts and Dukes with the name 'John I'"
"That's a lot of firsts."
"Tell me about it." He wheezed out a laugh. It pained me to see him have to wheeze it out.
"Maybe... Maybe I should tell you my story, so it too could go into history with Jesus' friends and family. After all, I was offered to be a king, and was knighted before that fell to ruin. Would you tell my story to the world?"
I stood there. My family side and my professional side both immediately jumped. Something else was cautious. "Why?"
"Because, I'm old. 90. is old. And having ruled the world for forty, that's another twenty years of aging on the body. Heh. I say it now like it's nothing. 'Having ruled the world for forty.'"
"Well, you were the first, uncle."
"Therefore it's really something to be remembered, eh? And I'm not gonna be the one able to do so for much longer. So... Let's start at the beginning of memory.

End of Prologue.
Get ready for chapter one.

Hahaha. It's official. I fail. I fail at life. I'm a failure to the max. Haha. Wow.'

I just... Wow. Hahaha. I can't even think straight. This is great.

But mostly it's great because I don't remember WHY I suck at life!!!

But I do have a story for all you good little children. And as for you bad little children..... I like you ;)

Anyway: once upon a time, there lived a boy. He was very Emo, but he wouldn't admit it, and he hated emos in general... They're whiney.

WELL... one day he was deep in profound thought (which was a frightening thought) and realized something: His life sucked, yet somehow he was happy until thing went right.

The boy had only one thing to say to that: "What the heck?"

Then he laughed. Long and hard to the point of tears. His sides hurt. Then he realized something else.

"I am such a pain."

And to this day, he still says this, laughing all the while.

The middle, not yet the end.

Some people get famous
Some people live well
Some people can win battles
Some have stories to tell.
I live my life
An example to all
A warning of just
how far man can fall.
I'm nothing special
My Future? It's gone.
Let's face it, I'm common.
Just one more John.

Earth is filled up with many
Black and White, Short and tall,
Each man's life worth so many
Each second so small.
All live to the fullest
Some work and some play
And some may change lives
by the end of the day.
But oh, no not I
While the world carries on,
I sit there, unimportant:
Just one more John

and while music still plays,
life still goes on
Except for one failure
Just this one named John

I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It..s certainly worth a try. I..m convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution. I mean, seriously.

Meet Me. Meet Me.
Meet Me. Meet Me.

I thought I saw you long ago,
In a distant land.
I glimpsed your face, I heard you voice,
I thought I felt your hand.
You were there, I don't know how,
But you're still here now and today.
I feel you breath upon my brow,
And I have one thing I can say;

Meet Me, Meet Me, I feel I need you now.
Come to me, and see me, as only you know how.

You're always there, but you're never here,
Out of sight, not out of mind.
Beyond my outstretched arms you lie,
You're teasing me, never were too kind

Come Meet me, fix me, because I'm broken here
I need you, speak to me, Whisper in my waiting ear.

I loved so oh so
Long ago
When we were young,
And didn't know.

I've met you sense,
In the circus tents
When we both went and saw the show.

Come see me, Heal me, Dieing here and now.
Come to me, and meet me, Cause I remember you some how.

A childhood love,
A Lifetime ago.
You forgot me,
But I'll always know.

Meet me. Meet Me. Meet Me, Meet me.

(A capella.)

Meet me, See me, I remember you even now.
Meet me, Hear me, and come to me right here some how.

Hey everyone. Just in case you decided to take time out of your day to read my pretty much worthless recounting of things I found neat, yay you! If you didn't, you aren't reading this and I am making a fool out of myself.

Anyway, I was a Cornerstone Music Festival 2006 from the 5-8th, meaning from wednesday till yesterday.

It pwned.

Here's how it went down!!!

WED-
Far To Fade - Actually, I can't remember off the top of my head... Hm... We'll work on that.
Leper - A strange, hxc, gothic duo. Very Pink Floyd-y lyrics and voice.
Edison Glass - ahem.... Teh. w00t. They rocked out loud, as usual. Big fan, guys.

THURS-
Wayside - Eh, country. I'll leave it at that.
Luminate - Good group. Young 'pretty boy' rock.
Winston Jazz Routine - Meh. Not the best. Not even Jazz.
Lonely Hearts - Acoustic set - Decent. Very southern.
Gasoline Heart - Good old rock band.
Maron Gaffron (maybe, still need to check on that) - Chick with a guitar who sings REAL well. Sadly (for any fanboys) is married. Ah, such is life and my luck.
Accordian Brothers! - Don't bother looking for them. Five guys with pots, pans, water bottles filled with pebbles, an acoustic guitar, and a mini-toy-accordian.
Copeland - Meh-inspiring band that through a miracle obtained a main stage position.
Anberlin - Fairly decent group. Liked 'em well enough, but not enough to get up and do anything.
Flatfoot56 - Tied for 'Best Punk of All Time', it's FLATFOOT56!!! Been a fan for a while now guys! Strangest thing happened here. Got hit with a Chicago city flag, and used (by a viking, no less) as a shield in the 'Braveheart.' Don't know what it is? Haha. Send me a line, I'll explain it.

FRI-
Sandy Weltman - A Jazz Harmonica/Tamborine player. Yes, I cannot spell tamborine.
Urban Sophisticates - Good hip-hop group.
sosaveme - I don't remember you guys, sorry.
Man Alive - Same as above.
Jeff Elbel + Ping - Decent Southern Rock group.
Strive/Rock Gospel - Good, soulful, lyrics depicting Christs life.
Accordian Brothers - Hehe.
Glenn Kaiser - Worship set. This was decent. Not all songs were taylored for a blues singer.
Krystal Meyers - Hot blond chick who can play guitar and sing? Teh woot. Cute giggle as well. I asked her if I could have her baby. She never answered.
MXPX - The other group tied for first in the 'Best Punk Band Ever' category. I wanna see a Punk Rawk Show. Man-on-fire they rocked!!!
RelientK - Rocked out loud, they did. And I didn't used to like them. The concert was great. I knew all the words anyway (thanks to a few friends... *glances evilly at them. Yes, you know who you are* Funny story. I was crowd surfing. I was dropped. I got back up. I was groped, almost dropped. Got back up, was dropped. Gave up and left. After all, it was the last song.

SAT-
Solomonsplendor - Good group, lousy stage. Should've had main, but NO, they were stuck in Fat Calf. Bleh. Anywho, they rocked, and I got an autographed frizbee!!
Knockout Kings - Pretty good.
Urban Sophisticates - Mentioned them already.
Glenn Clark and the Family - Weird. I'll leave it at that. BTW, Glenn, your daughter, the one who sang and played keyboards? She's hot.
Solomonsplendor - This time better show, worse stage, and I got a free CD!!! Being the broke guy I am, I could only afford a sticker.
Flatfoot56 - Again, best band alive (tied with MXPX). Long time fan, and proud to fight alongside you in your war on chafing... Yes, I know, all you non-punks, CHAFING. But you know why the bagpipe player doesn't chafe? One word, repeated a few times: Kilt kilt kilt kilt.
Flyleaf - Good group, love 'em, think Lacey's hott, BUT didn't hold my attention on stage like they do in music video or on the album. Sorry. But Lacey, don't get onto the crowd for not moving. It was the first song of your set, first concert on mainstage of the LAST day of cornerstone in 80ish degree weather and people piled in to see you and your band like a herd of sheep. Give us a break. We were melting without moving.



Anywho, that was the music side of things. Life side of things comes tomorrow.

BTW, may make myspace for my band preferences. WARNING: Will probably not accept friends unless they are bands or band members.