So I'm feeling exceptionally lucky that I have been so fortunate to have found someone so amazing in my life....someone who brings out the absolute best in me, someone who makes me want to improve myself in every way.   I see something in my relationship with her that I have never seen with a girl before, a prosperous future together, building our lives and growing together, respect at its best.   AND IT'S SO FUCKING REFRESHING I COULD SCREAM!! I LOVE THIS GIRL SO MUCH AND I AM SO VERY LUCKY AND APPRECIATIVE THAT I GET TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH HER!!!!!

She makes everything in life worth living for in ways I've never even dreamed of...

THANK YOU MY ROLLER GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I LOVE YOU!!!

~Mr. J

What an amazing weekend!   My heart and mind are now in synch and I now see and believe that my recent pain was truly a blessing in disguise.  So much growth in these beautiful couple of days!...so much revelation, clarity, healing, peace with myself, happiness and CLOSURE!!!!!  I know that on the 22^nd of this month I will NOT be sad and hurting like I thought I would but CELEBRATING, LAUGHING, LOVING and knowing that I truly dodged a bullet. Thank you to all my friends, thank you to myself for believing in me again and thank you C!!!

 I love loving life again!  Life sure is an enormous rollercoaster….I always loved rollercoaster's. 

I woke up this morning with a line from one of my favorite movies running thru my head:

..."get busy living, or get busy dying"...

....i think I'll live...

It is nice to be able to smile again. The pain is still there but I am putting me first, finally, which is what I should have done all along anyway. I'm starting to find comfort and happiness in my life again. More importantly I am re-discovering myself and I am finding that I am wiser, stronger and I know who I am more than I ever have in my life.  I have learned so much about myself in the past year and know that I can not only be a better person to myself but to everyone I associate with as well. 

I feel like I am in completely uncharted waters right now, in a completely mysterious and new place but I am right on path with where I am supposed to be. It's scary yet exciting at the same time…and I'm anxious for every new day. I find myself exploring and doing things that are bringing my soul back to life so quickly and with so much light I just want to fucking scream as loud as I can, the joy and pain and love and tears and laughs and appreciation I feel for this new life I am now discovering…

My future isn't about my past

Life is ony about NOW.

Nothing that has ever happened
has anything to do with now,
unless, in my now, I continue
to think and speak about it.
Fresh new thoughts today
will always give me a  fresh
new experience.