dared to dream

By sabret00the (© 2007)
i'd love to know
what made you so crazed
what made you amazingly you

i'd like to see
if maybe you and me
can become one from two

i'd love to know
if you smiled for real
or was it just a lie for me

and if it were fake
do you accept that you break
my heart completely in two

i'd like you to know
that i dared to dream
a dream of joy filled with me and you

i grasped happiness
with your waist in my hand
and now i just wonder where's you?

my dreams are too real
high points and low
but all that mattered what there's you

we argued and screamed
times got tough we teamed
because ultimately our life was us two

you made me smile
fulfilled my aspirations
and there you said i done the same for you

as happy as can be
there just you and me
a dream that i got sucked into

i'm just silly for that
so tears i'll hold back
and remember i smiled just for you

i wish you were mine
wish you were still here
so my world could revolve around you

what never happened?

By sabret00the (© 2007)
to all my female friends of the past
i know my time passed
but i'm left have to wonder?
did things go naturally sour
or was it because i made a blunder?
it's really a shame and if i had more game
i would've hit on you like thunder
but the truth is i'm a little shy
so many times i hold my pillow and sigh
right the way through the whole night
boner pressed against the sheets
lack of comfort just to compound defeat
but on the real if i was meant to hit it
you're supposed to my friend
on the uptake, dumber than most men
and that don't even depend
that story just deepens
like "d'oh" i just done, done it again
and i'm wishing for a change
but when it comes to that
i'm nothing short of lame
it's like you have to say it loud
and say it right out
because if you beat around
i'm like what you talking bout
i know it's wrong to say
but thought i'd say it anyway
if we're not longer friends
cause i didn't do you that way
i'm sorry ok, come around another day
i'll rectify it what you say?

---

i think this is terrible.

alternative opportunities

By sabret00the (© 2007)
can't believe you thought it got better than this
i'm the same kinda shallow when i think of my kids
getting ahead of my time because i'm still here
and that's everything that's going on over there
i wonder if you hear me and the future seems scary
truth is you're alone, no one's calling your phone
your last text was a week ago and it just said no
times are hard right now and so you're out of batteries
and so your vibe turned dildo and it's not doing the job
but when was the last time that you felt a real throb
we all logged on just to look and ended up laughing
you see the numbers rise and you realise it's smarting
so you drop that shoulder raise the angle of the cam
and before you know it you're a wolf from lamb
straight to the slaughter, shame your someone's daughter
and i gave a damn but you didn't care for me
i weren't what you wanted in fact me you couldn't see
but i guess that's how it is sometimes, that's how it be
so now you got the men calling, drinks and a night kap
i won't lie, just like them i'd bury your head in my lap
but if you weren't shit, i swear i'd call back again
but the men that you're linking, they're married
don't care and the feelings of their heart they don't share
now you're calling all men evil because they all leave you
crying time after time it's like sequel after sequel
you start to despair, say you'll do it on your own
delete your little profile cause now you wanna be alone
changed the number to your phone and you're dry
in more ways than one, you think back to where it begun
and when it turned to misery instead of a little bit fun
your chances are over and the winter nights colder
but you won't give happiness another chance...
stuck sitting bitter baring a chip on your shoulder
how it could've been different if you were little less colder

Living

By sabret00the (© 2007)
i want to say something but i can't speak
i want to play something but i can't weak
who really knows where to go we're guessing
and it's based on that fact that i'm stressing
really i'm just messing around, up, who knows what
but as much as i try i can't seem to stop
worked hard, hurt hard and yeah i learned hard
what's that you're thinking? nose held high stinking
forehead wrinkling as you look down on me
and all i'm doing is breathing softly
wondering if i'm even doing this thing properly

Sociopolitical Photograph

By sabret00the (© 2007)

---

i'm really not a bad person
stop hating me i should've lied
been like most of them
puckered up i should've cried
it's not like they could see me
seen my face as i hide
honesty's a bitch in Battersy
yeah a bitch that should've died
instead of the what's,
the reality of what we have
and because the world continues
someone here is feeling bad
reality's reality and time?
well that stayed true
the rules desired broken
simply because their hearts are too
i tried my best to be nice
but deep inside i'm full of snark
and given this very medium
i'm mighty stuck, my bites my bark
tried to hold it in, all my might
but i'm too crass
and when i'm highly strung
we'll say i'm strung and talk to fast
i might've bit my lip more
but then who would've told the truth
i know it weren't my place
but somehow i was there let loose
someone had to say it
they just had to, sad it's me
and i would've applauded them
stood up tall and clapped gladly
it's sad that i'm the one
and that they felt someone did wrong
and that i feel shitty for trying hard
and keeping on
i guess it's double standards
i should embrace and learn to lie
i'm being made to feel guilty...
for being an honest guy.

don't you have a man?

By sabret00the (© 2007)

you got a man but you seen something you like
and as your phone rings you lean over your right
waking me up from my slumber, middle of night
you know i already earned cause you helped me in spite
of the fact you gotta man and you two gotta plan
and it'd be ok but you're only here when your man
upsets you and your thinking that you don't want your man
and your laying on my chest like only i can understand
but all i really understand is that you're playing your hand
that if i was your man then someone else would understand
how many times i called you round when your living in bliss
it's like a whole month later and only teeth getting kissed
yeah you whispered sweet nothings and an example is this
we've both got needs and i need your orifice
i'm just one of your other men and you're neglecting my penis
when it's all said and done ain't we friends from the basics
you're a friend indeed, i'm a friend in need
so no i won't replace your man but spend the night with me

this lady

By sabret00the (© 2007)
it ain't nothing but pressure to hook up with this lady
she's got plans and in this world i'm still a baby
follow her route and it's gonna drive me crazy
she can't see it from my POV, she just thinks i'm lazy
why can't she see it how i see? it's simple, it amazes me
i go with the flow and let the flow gradually change me
it worked for the Grand Canyon so why am i called shady?
we hook up how we hook have sex and go all crazy
meet the inner most of innards share a secret and stay free
connect and intertwine then protect a zipper basically
keep warm what we've learned to cherish and then maybe
maybe? yes maybe then i can call her baby
wake up in the morning open my eyes to see this lady
is it so much to ask? or maybe i'm just crazy?

in the dance

By sabret00the (© 2007)

i got caught up when i saw her grin
on the dance floor doing her thing
i'm on the dance floor doing my thing
moving to the beat and it's tiring
i want to sit but don't want to move
just in case i lose sight of who
i don't know her name or if she'll be mine
but with each sixteen i'm running outta time
but i'm stalling and she's so fine
if i don't act quick someone braver will find
my treasure cause i stalled on making her mine
she's in my face want her in my place
her back to me should i grab her waist
but if she says no will my whole night waste?
chances are she's already got a man
she's seen my staring do i look like a Stan
she's with her friends i'm not sure if i can
handle all three i'm now a shrivelling man
mind wondered so much i just brushed her with my hand
when i lost the beat she didn't even turn round
i need a sign to let me know if i can
make her mine; it's just a one night stand
but if she's cool then...shit she's gone
not enough courage and i took to long
i'll just dance here maybe she'll return
same thing an hour ago when will i learn.

tell me if this one holds water:

it's far easier to get someone (a woman) off myspace to randomly visit you at your house for sex right outta the blue if it's just for sex, but should they so aspire anything else. even within the deepest darkest reaches of their mind. that's an instant no go because in their minds, they imagine telling their friends on your wedding anniversary that the first time you met was when she went to visit him for sex having never met him before in person?

thinking back to the ones that made me smile
yeah it ended and was shit every little while
ones i ended cause she wouldn't suck my dick
vacation i took cause she wouldn't fuck a chick
times have changed i guess i grow up quick
and every now and then think back feel sick
oh yeah it's back to who made me grin
laying on the bed, "you better never fuck him"
now you've deleted me and i guess you better fuck him
and break a heart just to make me grin
you broke my heart so you're breaking theirs
reducing everyone since me to tears
you were the best at least back then
wonder if i'll ever see you again
could i have got you to fuck a chick
it's only one that wouldn't suck dick
every pay day on the train
"i'm about to see you again"
wake up your mother, wake your sis
i got faith in your brother, he'd sleep through this
the first time in your mothers bed
was that the first time you gave head?
the first time in your brand new flat
there was two of them so it goes far back
one this country one the next
and neither one will i forget
i left both them flats and both them girls
both them dreams and both them worlds
both them smiles and both them lies
will i ever get back between them thighs
but as i said things have changed with time
i've grown a bit and know my own mind
i walked this path and know my own climb
can say no to the wrong thing, grown a spine
so when i see her it'll just smiles
full of dreams even walk down isles
maybe two kids or maybe just us
we'll built it naturally with little fuss.

---

yup, still battling with writers block but thought i'd see if i'm coming out, kinda sucks though i think.

dreaming: give me mascara, heels, skirts, mini-skirts, stockings, suspenders, eye liner, arm warmers, knee high socks, lipstick, self awareness, self comfort, aspirations, dreams, sexually driven, sexualy thirsty, explorative, sexually explorative, give me head, give me regular sex, give me smiles, give me less stress, give me hugs, give me kisses, give me someone who can see me and smile, give me acceptance, give me the priority, give me possibility, give me more dreams, give me the stuff dreams and powerpuff girls are made of and i'm happy.

reality: give me a multiple choice question and i'll try and bullshit my way through.

so here's a small glimpse into my life for those of you that don't know. a small moment from last night. in short, it's my problem with attracting men, no matter what i do, it always happens.

a common mistake by mere mortal men like myself, is dancing atop a speaker box at the behest of one of your new friends for two hours straight and with all that gusto any mortal man can have. actually i take that back, the mistake isn't the dancing, though having rhythm seems to be code for "i'm gay" but hey, fuck it i like dancing. the mistake was sitting down afterwards, exhausted and having to have a breather, coupled with listening to the ugly fucking bastard standing in front of you using lots of expletives.

See i'm a friendly guy, i don't know how to say "fuck off and stop harrassing me you creepy little man" when someone is just trying to be nice. so here's how it went, i heard something something fucker so i stood up and ask "what?". he grabs my hand and says you're a bad mother fucker. i'm like i am? he's like yeah, you're such a bad mother fucker, you're a bad mother fucker. i'm like ok, thanks and try to sit down but he wouldn't let me. the conversation from here got kind of repetitive. see there's one thing that all people are instinctively born with. it's the smile and nod effect, you add a few grunts in there and you're seemingly having a conversation. using my trusty skill i listened to this man tell me i was a bad mother fucker for five minutes, then he said something interesting, or maybe not but it was different. he began to tell me about how we shouldn't give a shit about anyone because...you guessed it i'm a bad mother fucker. then he tells me that we could beat up everyone in the place because...yup, i'm a bad mother fucker and he's one too. then he changed his record and offered to buy me a drink. with near £100 of liquor down me. i had no good influence in tow. i decided i'd take his drink but it'd be water as i was dehydrated to fuck.he wasn't happy and kept trying to pressure me into liquor, in the end i reminded him that i'm a bad mother fucker and so water it is. then he started saying something different, due to being closer to the speakers i had to say let's go in the passage so i can hear you.

We go into the passage and he starts calling me a bad mother fucker again and then he looks at me and says "look me in the eye...you're a nasty mother fucker you bad mother fucker, you're nasty" errrr ok, then hallelujah, he friend came, bare in mind, i'm pushed up against a wall in a corner with this man in my way, i'm thinking to myself i'm fucked. i'm gonna be raped. so then he starts telling me that he's going to make me into a badder mother fucker and despite him looking like a fucked up dodgy something or another, curiosity killed my pet cat and i ask how. secretly in the back of my mind i actually let out a sigh of relief when he told me that he wants me to do weights with him. i thought he was gonna offer to make me his bitch, but his bitch was actually his friend who he was now trying to bully to buy him a beer. anyway i take this opportunity to mention that my 'girlfriend' was waiting for me inside and he says "don't worry about that you bad mother fucker" and traps me with his arm. i'm like eek, then his friend says "just go, go quickly" and he says "if you leave me now, i'll come and find you" i look at the friend, a popgy guy with glasses, and i thought fuck it, it's now or never, i slip out of my spot and return to where i was on the floor.

What hurts the most about this incident is that, that Samuel L Jackson wallet from Pulp Fiction has had the coolness removed from is absolutely 100% now, those words are just triggers for bad memories. The worst thing is, for all of my studly charm i had going on before this incident, every single girl who had high hopes of me before i left seemed to have hooked up with a guy and all of a sudden the talk was that i was gay. yes, my overt niceness robbed me of studlyness. my night as the king of the world ended, the king retired to bed and left a shallow corpse of a man who everyone thought was gay in his wake.

I really wanted to write something today but i couldn't find it in me. The new JT vid was really inspiring but ultimately the rhythm never worked with the bitter shit i wanted to leave for everyone. It's just that type of day really, the day when everything either goes excellentally or terribly badly just like that. I actually woke up with an obsession for Nerina Pallot's Mr King hah. Anyway Valentines Day is all about reflection, whether it's gratitude for what you have or resentment for what you don't. I think i'm halfway inbetween, thinking about what i could've had and in most cases the bullshit i would've put up with and thus wishing i was sitting here writing this. Grass is greener complex at it's best. It's not really fair, everyone thinks about what they want and how they haven't got it and then you have certain people who are thinking about you wishing how they had you and are bitter that they don't. When it comes to women i'm naive so unless they tell me straight out i never know unless i'm horny as fuck and drunk and am trying to get laid. But yeah, even i hear about how some folks think they'd be happier with me. However, sadly thus far it doesn't seem to be what i want or can handle. Anyway here's to a year or getting what you want, what makes you smile, what makes you happy and making others happy on the way.

Can we?

By sabret00the (© 2007) 

the pusher man

By sabret00the (© 2007)