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MY MAN'S PASSENGER



Last Updated: 9/25/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 43
Signup Date: 11/16/2003

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[06 Nov 2009 | Friday] 5:31 PM

Current mood:  tired
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
........
* Sometimes, life's so shitty, you just wanna flush it away

*The 'ahs' in P Boys 'Your Love' song sound like mine - when greeting my daily ice-cold Chang out the fridge on a sweltering heat wave.

*PHEW! Finally, the problem is ending! (How to help BOTH my father in England and son in Australia) after yet another 'possible' option was temporarily added to our long list…

1. Son to remain in current residence and find job
2. Son to move to caravan park/cheaper home and take business studies course at college
3. Son to move to university and take law course
4. Son to obtain visa renewals indefinitely to come with me to England
Etc…

but the problem of WHAT he will do is now solved! We now know that he will be coming to England as well and which career he will focus on… PHEW!!!!

However...

I still have a few hectic and difficult weeks of 'DAD V SON' ahead - in that my applications and organizing should be done early/mid Dec, but my son's not til early Jan - should I wait those few weeks and travel together with my son (who is worried about what to do if something goes wrong re the applications, etc) or get my butt over to my Dad ASAP - in time for him to have a happy and relaxing family Christmas (My son and I are not fussed about xmas, but my Dad makes a big thing of it)...
Oh boy, - or should I say - 'oh men!' cos my son's JUST an adult now!
[03 Nov 2009 | Tuesday] 5:04 PM

Current mood:  nostalgic
Category: Food and Restaurants
........
TUES:
Coff
Wine
Paracetamol
Pumpkin, beans, raw cabbage
2 x multivit
Chang
Bread with pine-lem-mel jel

WED:
Chang
Coff
Paracetamol
Cranb. Jui
Chana masala
Dates
Pine-lem-mel-jel
Indian snax

THUR:
Coff
Chang
Ginger-pineapple rice
Cranb. Jui
Paracetamol
Garlic bread n hash browns

FRI:
Chang
coff
Indian vegetables
Hash browns and garlic bread and tomato
Blueberries

SAT:
Coff
Chang
Rosebread n salad
Paracetamol
Cranb jui
Rosebread n pine-lem-mel jel
Coconut rice

SUN:
Coff
Chang
Jahe wangi
Coc rice
Thai veg and rice
D8s
Ccs

MON:
Coff
Chang
Curried veg n Lebanese bread
Multivtiamin
Dates
Gherkin and Lebanese bread


TUES:
Coff
Chang
Gherkin n cauli n shitake and Lebanese bread
Cranb jui
Fruit salad
Garlic-tomato risoni
2 multi vits

WED:
Coff n jahe wangi
Chang
Home mad garlic bread
Curried veg n beans
Fruit salad
Bananananananan

THURS:
Chang
Coff
Bean chili n sweet potato
Paracetamol
Jahe wangi
Garlic bread
A strawberry
Ccs

FRI:
Coffee
Iced sherry
Indian snax
Cranberries
2 multivits
Ccs


SAT:
Iced sherry
Coff
Cranberry rice
Ccs
Bananaananana
Indian veg n basmati
2 x strawberries

SUN:
Coff
Iced sherry
Bananananananana
Cheesy garlic bread (home made)
Beans, tomato, mushroom, n lentils
Korean aloe vera n lychee drink


CHEESE again? You ask...well, I was not going to buy another block - but then, a pair of magpies stood on my doorstep - and sung to me - waiting - and they were so dissappointed that I did not have a piece for them, I had to get a block in case they retruned. (we used to be the magpie's cheese cafe.)


MUSIC: astral, VVV, P Boys, Astral, VVV, Madelia, LYP, VVV, Indic Mist, VVV, Maldroid,
CROPS: 2 roses, 2 strawberries, 2 spuds, coriander
TOP-READ DAILY BLOG POST #'s:
[02 Nov 2009 | Monday] 3:10 PM

Current mood:  bummed
Category: Quiz/Survey
........
You Are Spooky
You put the trick in "trick or treat," and you won't stop scaring people until you scare yourself.
You love horror movies, dark spooky nights, and the darker side of Halloween. You save the kids' stuff for the kids.

Speaking of kids, you avoid the little candy grubbing monsters at all costs. Well, unless you are looking to give them a little scare.
You think Halloween has gotten a bit to sugary these days, and you don't mind injecting a little fright into things.

You Are a Satanic Horror Movie
There's no one scarier than the devil, and even just thinking about him (or her???) makes you shiver.
You are obsessed with the idea of evil, and unlike your typical horror movie, the devil isn't someone you can just kill at the end.

Even if you aren't religious now, it's likely that you come from a religious background and still think of the world in those terms.
Your favorite movies explore the idea of satanic influence... stuff like Rosemary's Baby, The Omen, and the Exorcist.


You Are a Carnival Mask
You are flirtatious, charming, and seductive. You are both mysterious and alluring.
You know how to dance the steps, no matter what the dance is. You always know what the next move should be.

You are good at drawing people in but not letting them get too close. You know how to be wanted.
You prefer to be understated than over the top. You never want to be seen as trying too hard.



2597. Have you ever been in a situation where you weren't sure if you were doing the seducing or being seduced?
no
2598. What is the most memorable thing about Pee-Wee Herman?
voice
2599. What culture are you fascinated by?
NAI/Indian/Bhutanese
2600. Why don't people have more fun?
They prefer to be rich and follow society's guidelines than be real and enjoy LIFE
2601. Do you believe in the collective unconscious?
I believe in a cosmic-universal energy base of natural is-ness.
2602. Who is your favorite jazz artist?
shrugs
2603. Has a movie ever given you chills?
no
2604. Which classic Disney character is your favorite?
I don’t DO disney
2605. Why do so many people have jobs that they dislike?
Because they let society talk them into getting ANY job rather than following their dream/personal goal. Greed and being accepted are two main causes of this.
2606. Would you prefer to lease a new car or buy a used one?
No. I plan NEVER to own/use a car.
2607. Do you like to be right all the time?
Yes - I want to BE right - but this does NOT mean I want to blast the news everywhere and force others to follow me or diss them for not agreeing.
2608. Can you 'pinch an inch' on your belly?
More than that - I ate corn chips last night!
2609. Do you believe in out of body experiances?
I am more in touch with/aware of the reality of inner energies than those of the regular/physical body
2610. Would you ever want to visit Thailand?
Yes - I like its food and the lifestyle of Dhutanga monks.
2611. Do you think that "peach clam" is a complimentary or insulting euphamism for vagina?
No, it is just words some peeps wanna use
2612. Have you ever worn a cape?
Yes, I trained to become a nurse once, and we had these black capes for winter/bad weather wear…

[30 Oct 2009 | Friday] 3:19 PM

Current mood:  crazy
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
........
* BUSY ME: a typical day consists of yawning into the world and wishing it were already bedtime. Analyzing dreams. 'Pee-coffee-PC'. Write n net. Cook n eat. Lay on bed in misery. Deal with application forms, document implementations, a freaked-out & insecure son, neighbor problems, and society enforcements. Be too tired to learn or study - so review faults and failures of day's practice. Scramble to center on a loved one and wait til sleep lets me into a mo of peace.

* It is very difficult to give an exact date for my relocation to England. I would choose the first week in Dec - circa the 6/7th… BUT I doubt very much that my UK passport would arrive before the middle of the month. If I plan to leave before it arrives, I will have to enter England on my AU passport - and hence be ineligible to stay beyond 6 months without frequent/costly visa updates and for any welfare assistance whilst staying there to take care of my Dad - meaning I would have to work FT at writing as well as cleaning/gardening/shopping/cooking...

Also to be taken into account is the fact that I need to give 3 weeks notice for leaving my current rental property. To do so means either waiting 3 weeks after the arrival of the passport (ie leaving in January) OR predicting its arrival and possibly ending up homeless for a few interim days if I get it wrong. I really want to get my butt out there by the 20th, to avoid the Christmas rush/crowds and set myself up computer & net/food & water wise before the public holidays prevents activity.

Another 'date-determination' problem is that I do not yet know if my son is:
* coming with me
* following me a few weeks later
* moving into cheaper accommo and staying on to do a college course for a year &/or volunteer work
* staying on in our current property with a job/apprenticeship

* HOPEFULLY: I am hoping that after this mad n crazy Oct-Nov, Dec will allow me some time to calm down and relax. Starting off with the turn around point of Andyroo's birthday (excuse for a second bottle o' beer) the first two days will bring me to travel to Sydney to attend the Dalai Lama's teaching on Bodhichitta from Nagarjuna. (This will me the first time I have heard/seen HHDL live, so is something spec for me.)

This should be followed by paying for my air fare and flying off to England - and being computer less/net-less for 1-2 weeks. (I hereby apologize well in advance if I cannot get a HAPPY CHRISTMAS message out to everyone this year. Hopefully a net café will permit me to reach my closest buds…) but all the banks I have contacted will not let me open an account until arriving - despite the fact i will have no address ID, being at my Dad's place then - but have tons of ID now... (they just DO NOT listen to me explaining this to them....)

I then predict a hopeful but freeeeeeezing cold 'Jan-onward' of PT writing and PT house cleaning/gardening/shopping/cooking/Yoga/Buddhist study & practice/- um, LIFE until such time as my Dad passes and I have to decide if I am going to rent out a room/sell up the family home - and then select from staying in England/returning to AU/traveling the world…

TOP-READ DAILY BLOG POST #'s:


[29 Oct 2009 | Thursday] 2:50 PM

Current mood:  disgusted
Category: Food and Restaurants
........
Here is what was in my food stock a week + ago on Wednesday:

Organic dates, tamarind, jalapeno, extra virgin olive oil, red kidney beans, organic black beans, organic soy beans, chana dhal, jasmine, basmati, mung beans, risoni, 2 Korean seaweeds, vitamins, chickpeas, Vietnamese rice sheets, organic honey, dried lotus root, yellow mustard seeds, kaffir lime leaves, paractamol, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, dried peas, fenel seeds, fenugreek seeds, peppercorns, pav bhaji masala, chili, turmeric, sultanas, coconut cream, tinned tomatoes, pineapple-melon-lemon jam, salt, sugar, sodium bicarb, tulsi teas, jahe wangi sachets, coffee, 3 onions, 24 changs, almonds, flour, water, cranberry juice.

(I am winding down to very little stock, as I am still hoping to shift-butt 2 pom pre xmas - despite ongoing hassles with bureaucratic rigmarole making it exceedingly difficult to set a date for departure.)

MUSIC: VVV, Astral, Madelia, P Boys, Madelia, VVV, Astral, VVV, Madelia, VVV, LYP, Madelia, Astral,
CROPS: 3 roses
TOP-READ DAILY BLOG POST #'s:
[27 Oct 2009 | Tuesday] 4:54 PM

Current mood:  busy
Category: Quiz/Survey
2578. Do you collect coins?
Not any more
2579. What do you do on Superbowl Sunday?
I watched it on TV from 2003 til 2007 - but I don’t use TV now, so I ignore the event and just enjoy playing fantasy league footy.
2580. When was the last time you knew you were right about something?
Quite often when I live in my know-zone, but not often when I live in my think-zone.
2581. What is the best show on tv?
I don’t use that mechanical gadget that installs bullshit into the mind - I LIVE!
2582. Do you handle inconveniences well?
Personal, 80-90%, yes. Relating to others - NO! (When I am being counted on by someone else - I need to get things DONE, not wait til they are able to be done… when it is just ME, I just sigh, shrug and wait for my karma to clear up…)
2583. Why does so much depend upon a red wheel barrel glazed with rain water beside the white chickens?
Pardon? I don’t think that has any relevance to me whatsoever…. Whatever it is
2584. If you could choose would you rather your boss be a man or a woman?
I would rather have no boss, but if I had to have m/f, I would ask for an m
2585. Do you drink only 100% juice?
You cannot buy 100% cranberry juice and that is the only juice I drink. I WOULD if I COULD…
2586. Is it harmful to use your cell phone at the gas station?
It is harmful to use a cell phone anywhere - which is why don’t own one
2587. What's the best way to learn a new language?
Depends on the brain you are installing it into.
2588. What frustrates you?
Bureaucracy treating living beings as non-existent/non-important if they do not fall into the specific slots assigned to them. (the world seems to have lost its ability to deal with individuals - you have to fit a slot or you are sent in circles until you are squished into one or die - or leave society and go hermitize.)
2589. Of the whole alphabet, what letter's sound do you like the best?
No fav.
2590. Do you act the same when you are alone as you do when people are watching?
Depends on the peeps - I act diff in front of friends and strangers than I do in front of official/legal society members - you cant relax around such peeps
2591. Have you ever worked nine to five? No. I once worked full time, but it was shift work.
2592. Is ten dollars a good price to pay for one lipstick?
I threw all my make-up in the bin last week - I am never gonna slop chemicals on my face again - so I don’t give a toss
2593. Do you celebrate the harvest moon?
The only moon event I celebrate is the Vesak full moon…
2594. What is one movie charater you identify with and why?
n/a
2595. You are alone with your lover's diary. What do you do?
(Have I got one? Have they got one?) I guess I would snoop - but I would also fess up a tell them I had done so afterward!
2596. Have you ever wanted to have a pet skinned and turned into an article of clothing?
Ew.. That is horrible!


You Are a Zombie
Like a zombie, you can't really help who you are today. You're a product of your past.
You tend to be needy to the point of being borderline dysfunctionally co-dependent. You literally can't exist without other people.

And once you set your sights on someone, you become obsessed with chasing him or her down.
When you want a person, you're not exactly subtle. You are forceful and honest... you have no trouble expressing what you want!



You Are Not Crazy for Halloween
You are what's known as a Halloween humbug. For some reason, you really can't get into the season.
Low carb diet? Hate kids? Have an irrational fear of fake blood? Whatever it is, Halloween just isn't your bag.

Your best option is to camp out until November 1. Resist the urge to smash pumpkins and toilet paper houses.
Start your own anti-Halloween movement. If it worked for Valentine's Day, there's sure to be some takers for Halloween!

[23 Oct 2009 | Friday] 2:39 PM

Current mood:  anxious
Category: Writing and Poetry
........

Every birth is an event with paper now attached
From reality and nature a new doc-dependent form has been hatched
From now on, each deed you attempt must go hand in hand with stated proof
You can no longer move or act from only need or truth
And beware - for if a single sheet gets lost
Frustration, poverty, and misery, will be its replacement's cost
Quality irrelevant, your life can end from loss or lack
So select a sheet to slit your throat on from your ever growing stack

- of course, this must be done AFTER you have made a statutory declaration saying that you ain't ever coming back!

[22 Oct 2009 | Thursday] 4:16 PM

Category: Quiz/Survey
This f'ed up and didnt post right so i am re-doing it:........
................
You are eccentric and even a bit of a weirdo. You are a bit out of step with the mainstream, and you honestly don't care.
You have cultivated some unusual interests and practices. And you definitely have a sense of personal style that's highly unique.

You have a bizarre sense of humor. No one ever really gets when you are joking, and you tend to laugh at things that other people don't find funny.
You approach the world with sincerity. The problem is, no one else understands that you're being genuine.
What Kind of Facial Hair Are You?
Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.


2560. Have you ever been promoted?
n/a with SE freelancing jobs…
2561. Have you ever been fired?
Once - I got caught chucking out a cup of tea I had been given and the next week was given my notice.
2562. What do you think of the name "Orson"?
No thought occurs
2563. Are you more of a tape dispenser or a stereo speaker and why?
No. I don’t use tape and prefer to type than speak
2564. What do you think of the song "Imagine," by John Lennon?
One of his best
2565. What's the matter with adults today?
They follow society expectations and government directions - they fail to look n learn and go the RIGHT way instead and simply become sheep.
2566. When you were a child what word did you use for your genitals?
At that age, I didn't use any word
2567. What is the purpose of art?
varies
2568. What is the American dream?
Dunno - I would rather have reality though, myself. and i doubt my dream would match anyone elses - i dont seem to like what other people do.
2569. How seriously do you take the promises you make?
I don’t make promises
2570. What is your place in the universe?
I don’t know - but someone sure as shit popped me in the wrong slot THIS life thru…
2571. What cliches do you over-use the most?
shrugs
2572. Do you know which fork to use at a formal table setting?
I don’t eat out to need to know - it'd give the waiters a laugh to watch me try to figure it out anyways, right?
2573. What parts of your body are shaved?
Three districts!
2574. Name one person off the top of your head who made a major contribution to science.
No care
2575. How do you feel about Picasso?
I didn't know him - he was some artsy dude, right?
2576. Name something you would buy for a dollar.
Scrubber sponges
2577. What do you think of the term "organized religion"?
Not my style - I want holy texts and commentaries and reality and practice- not rules n regulations
You're the type of person who finds a lot of comfort in your home. You love to take care of yourself and others.
Your home is welcoming and open to all. You love entertaining guests and making them feel a part of the family.

There's nothing like spending an afternoon in the kitchen, whipping up treats for you and your loved ones.
You believe that the simple things in life can be the most enjoyable. You like give your time and love to people.
What Room Are You Most At Home In?
Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

You Are Most at Home in the Kitchen You Are a Mustache
[22 Oct 2009 | Thursday] 4:11 PM

Current mood:  apathetic
Category: Life
........
* What is the point of continually trying to become your best possible self, if you can never succeed for longer than a few hours/days?

If just as you accept and step into a life that is right, you are thrown out of it and forbidden to live it, after all?

* My head is filled with my spirit-bro and a bunch of friends I once hung with spiritually - but without my STC, I am on the wrong head-level and unable to know, see, understand, or move correctly in my life.

It feels like I am being thrown into the world of the subject after having studied 85% of a text book. I know that 85% damn well, but there is a missing 15% I still need to learn before I am ready for THIS.

* I am still waiting for the application form to apply for the document I need that will permit me to apply for the document I need that will allow me to go…

I feel like ripping up every piece of paper that is not a Dharma book and forbidding there to be any more legal papers of any type in my life ever again…

Life would be so much BETTER if one could simply DO rather than paper-process and THEN do - the paper-processing is like a noose or armed gun aimed at one - it threatens to terminate LIFE, leaving nothing of value left over to do the DO when the DO is finally permitted to be doable.

My son is finding the same problems - he needs documents he has not got to get where he needs to get to…

Trees rule and manmade documents should be banned!

(Update - after 3-4 weeks, the application form arrived at 7-19pm last night. By 8-19pm I had filled it out, attached an international bank order that I had run down the bank to grab, and mailed it with a stamp I had to buy. Enough said re my attitude to the tardiness of official institutions that treat human lives as uncared for correctly slotted or non existant statistics!!)
[21 Oct 2009 | Wednesday] 4:36 PM

Current mood:  bullied
Category: Food and Restaurants
........

SAT:
Coffee
Jahe wangi
Wine
2 multivitamins
Roast pumpkin, dhal, barley
Paracetamol
Hot choc - no milk
Garlic bread

SUN:
Coffee
Paracetamol
Wine
Chili chips
Indian veg & basmati
D8s
2 multivits

MON:
Coff
Paracetamol
Jahe wangi
Wine
Carnb jui
Thai veg & Jasmine
Frit n nut mix

TUES:
Coff
Wine
1 multivit
Indian veg & Basmati
Apple sauce m purple yam jam
Cranb jui

WED:
Coff
Multi vit
Paracetamol (can you tell I have sinus probs this week?)
Herb n olive bread
Cran-wine combo
banananana
F&N mix

THURS:
Coff
Cranb jui
Jahe wangi
Wine
Bean chili
Garlic bread
1 strawberry
A bananananana
Indian snax
Mint chocolate

(I know chocolate and garlic bread have taboo ingredients - but I was feeling exceedingly SICK with sinus problems for more than a week, so have decided to let my body-sickness-needs dictate my diet for a few days)

FRI:
Coff
2 x chang
Falafel n roast pumpkin, peas n olives
Berries n coc cream
Cheesey garlic bread

SAT:
Coff
Wine
Chese olive n onion risoni
Mint choc
Berries n coc cream
Ccs
2 x multivit

SUN:
Coff
Wine
Lentils with mushroom n zuchini
Ccs
Paracetamol
Dates
Cheese

MON:
Coff
Jahe wangi
Berries
Wine
Veg n rice
Fruit n nut mix
Last lump of cheese


INDIAN COUSCOUS
1 cup couscous
½ cup peas
handful sultanas
1 teasp chili
1 teasp pav bhaji masala
1 teasp black mustard seeds
2-3 crumbled kaffir lime leaves
*cook in water for five mins and shovel down gob

MUSIC: Vince Welnick, FM Marc, VVV, Cynical Mass, The Vanishing, Absent Mind, Pep Love, VVV, Madelia, D Acure, Castles in Spain, FM Marc, The Paper Sons, Madelia, B Willing, Blair Hanson, Roy 2000, Nowhere Radio, Instar, Birdmonster, Sande, P Boys, Madelia, VVV, Madelia
CROPS: coriander, just joey roses x2, 1strawberry, 6 blue moon roses,
[16 Oct 2009 | Friday] 3:04 PM

Current mood:  melancholy
Category: Life
........

* LIFE SUX....sigh.

*'I'm trying - repeatedly until I make it' is one step up from 'I see a problem, but cannot help' and one step down from 'I succeeded'...

but THAT is much better than 'I do not see a problem' or 'I am blind' or “huh - but this IS right, isn't it...?”...

*Whether you fight with a frown, a sob, a smile, or a sick-laugh, bureaucratic procedures do not offer an easy win and may crush your LIFE, LOVE, and LIFESTYLE

before allowing you the eventual damaged victory.

*When you have seen the view from the summit and know it as your home, falling to the bottom is MORE disheartening than slipping whilst climbing part way up -

BUT it is LESS of a problem, even if it LOOKS like being a far worse situation, as you KNOW where you gotta get yourself back to.

*A day with 2xcoffee n 2xchang is better than a day with 1xcoffee n 0xchang - even if you can only get 2-3 such days per annum.

(Thank Ralph, it is his burpday so I can allow myself ONE day of freedom from hell to celebrate rather than struggle.)

* LIFE SUX....sigh.
[15 Oct 2009 | Thursday] 11:01 PM

Current mood:  pissed off
Category: Life
........
* Bureaucratic imbeciles who are unable to comprehend basic English questions are murdering my mind.

It is impossible to keep to essential deadlines when paper-shufflers wish to play documental game moves rather than do their job!

& more idiots - Myspazz has f'ed up the home page - it is a HORRID MESS now - it WAS fine as it was before...

* So much for a 3.5 day workweek!

This blog is extremely brief due to suddenly having a big chunk of paid work arrive. (Luckily, it meant I could temporarily escape the 5.5 hr brainwashing course - but unluckily it meant more PC time so less spring cleaning/resting/reading/studying time)

* I cannot wait til the day I can retire! (in December, hopefully)

I love writing, but do NOT love 'having' to do it to earn an income nor having deadlines to adhere to. Once retired, I can JUST write books n blogs at leisure and not worry about deadlines/income/etc.