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Last Updated: 9/28/2008

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 36
Signup Date: 7/4/2006

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Monday, October 12, 2009 

Category: Writing and Poetry

Children at a Fountain

 


Gasps and splashes;

Pitter-patter, splatter.

Bright eyes

Breathless with delight.

 

Arcing jets and rainbow lighting,

Shooting columns fire

up,

stop,

and return

like puppets

Popping up to say hello.



"It's a Mexican one," he shouts, grinning,

as spouts make waves.

"They're getting excited now,"

as the spray puppets dance.



Entranced, they wait,

Leaping lightly like the fountain's bursts

Willing the blast from the fountain's heart.



WHOOSH!

Their heads tilt right back

Higher than they'd hoped

Beads of light are flung skywards

And the children try to catch it.



Anything is possible. 

Wednesday, September 02, 2009 

Category: Writing and Poetry

Irony

Are your clothes a little flat?

Don’t press your dress

To impress.

 

A mountain of irony

Will not come to me.

I look the other way

As I stow away

Stowaways.

 

As long as the drawers all

Shut;

Shut;

Shut;

Shut;

Job done.

 

I know they’re in there.

 

Once in a while

The pile

Wants to be warm

Straightened and steamed

Crisp and categorised

Fresh and flawless.

 

Worn. 


Wednesday, July 01, 2009 

Category: Life

A Fine Balance

 

It’s a jolly holiday for Mary Poppins, I suppose. The perk of teaching- the six week holiday - gradually transmogrifies into six weeks of childcare of ones own children, once you have them.

 

I love my children; I love spending time with them; I love parks and crafts and stories and DVDs. I love shopping for new clothes with them and visiting people.

 

It’s the blinking running of the house (Loading and unloading the dishes, laundry laundry laundry. Tidy tidy tidy. Repetitive strain. ) combined with the childcare that does my box in. In order not to be living in complete chaos, I require the children to occupy themselves for every waking moment. This, they cannot do. 

 

We have a garden they won’t go in unless I am in it. They have toys that they don’t play with unless I am playing with them. They have bedrooms they won’t go to unless I am sorting laundry in them. They will, however, watch Wallace and Gromit unsupervised – but can I morally let them watch TV for six weeks solid? 

 

They just want to play with me; or more accurately, they want to stand one and a half feet in front of me at all times, no matter what I am doing. This then leads to me tripping over them and becoming a horrible mother and telling them to get out of the way. 


Unless we are in a park. Or have lots of friends in. ....

 

So, the key is to be in a park at all times. Or have lots of friends in. 

 

Maybe, though, I am just on day-three-of-the-holiday- blues, just like the baby blues – when you suddenly realise that it is your responsibility to look after the child/children. Like actually. In a kind of constant and important way, that you are not really up to.  Maybe in a few days the next five weeks won’t seem so daunting. 

 

There is another solution to my problem. I need to ban myself from laziness. I spend all day thinking about the great things I will accomplish between 8 and 10 pm and then I fail to settle the children til nine, have a cup of tea – and then it is 10 pm and I have accomplished nothing. I then go to bed, resolute that the next day will bring about greater efficiency. Chuh! So I could get off the internet and pair socks instead. 

 

Or I could resurrect my strategy that worked well last summer: Get up, in the car, park (both meanings), packed lunch, late home, multi-grain shapes for dinner, bed. I just thought I could get away with less military precision this year – now that the house is fully habitable. (Hooray!)....



So, to clarify for myself, my solutions are:

1.      It’s not that hard, it’s just different – you’ll get over it and cope fine

2.    Military precision

3.    Not eating the bread of idleness. (aka not eating avocados and watching Sarah Beeny, staying off Facebook etc)

4.    Parks and Friends

5.    Live in chaos

 

I think I’ll maybe live in chaos. I’ll see how that goes for this week. 
Saturday, January 31, 2009 

Category: Writing and Poetry

Situations Vacant


I was going to write a novel in November for the Nanowrimo. But I only did it the first day. so I only did 2000 words. It was going to be about a vacancy, but now we are in one, I don't want to write the rest of it. This is extremely unedited. Don't feel you have to read it. Life imitates art. Chicken. Egg.



It’s the end of the world as we know it.....


 ....


This is always the best bit of a funeral: the purvey. Oh good, hot pies. Not that I am not sad about the passing of the minister of course – a weird one here for the parish. I was born here, baptised here, grew up here and all the while I watched a good looking bachelor decay into a gnarled old man, merging into his pulpit, sermons recycled and delivered with and increasingly shaky grasp of the basics. But anyway. Right, need to shimmy up a bit to get in line for the tea.....


 ....


He collapsed quite suddenly last week. He had been out in the parish visiting old Mrs Campell who was having a crisis about Halloween – what should the Christians of the parish do? Should they put out pumpkins and bag up sweets for the local children? Or should they meet in the small hall and pray against everyone and everything that was going on? Reverend Skirving apparently advised her that as long as it was a turnip lantern and not a pumpkin, and that the children did a party piece and not a trick-or-treat then he was sure it would be OK. ....


 ....


Anyway, so he went to leave and collapsed in the middle of her path. D.O.A at hospital. His heart, apparently. Right, scuse me while I eat my pie. ....


 ....


“Hi Sabrina”....


 ....


“Oh Hi.” Oh no, it’s Jennifer Whiting, very, very frightening ME! I bet this’ll be the moment that my pie will disintigrate and I’ll get a lovely blob of grease on my dress and she’ll see!....


 ....


“Hi Jennifer, good turn out today then isn’t it?”....


 ....


“Yes, well a lot of people knew him.”....


 ....


“Wot, in the biblical sense?” Shut up, shut up what am I saying? “Like I mean he preached to practically the whole town over the years I suppose.” I add, hurriedly, hoping that Jen’s super-spiritual filter is fully functioning, given that it is a sad and solemn and spiritual occasion. ....


 ....


“Yes, he was an important man for so many of us, present at all the key moments. What a void he will leave!”....


 ....


“Oh, yes – I wonder if they’ll get another eligible bachelor for us! Waterside didn’t make much use of the last one. A waste of a man in these parts. Poor old Skirving.”....


 ....


Jennifer’s face fell. “I think it is too soon to be thinking about replacing him, Sabrina, don’t you think? He’s only just died!”....


 ....


Oops. “Of course, of COURSE, Jen, I just meant…” I trailed off. I knew I couldn’t get through a whole conversation without stuffing up, one way or another. ....


 ....


Jennifer Whiting is a strange fish. She is absolutely flawless, I reckon. Clear skin, classic size 10 and works in a hospice. She consistently exudes an air of perfection, while managing not to need any make-up, support underwear or behavioural counselling. She seems to be entirely self sufficient. She does HAVE relatives, I believe, but I also believe she was spawned, parentless and at the age of twenty-five, direct into her new-build apartment, having escaped the errors of adolescence and therefore unscarred by a decade of stress, gaffes, exams, failed relationships and yo-yo dieting. ....


 ....


I put down my teacup and look for an escape from Jennifer. Not in a nasty way. You know what I mean. I could go back to the buffet and get another pie, but she’d see that as weakness and gluttony. I could go and talk to the grieving relatives, if there were any, but there only seems to be a gaggle of nephews who seem pretty uncomfortable in their black suits and look quite twitchy and keen to leave. And Jen would think I was being an inappropriate hussy if I went to talk to them in their hour of need. And none of them are cute enough to make it worth it. Oh, good, there’s Mark. He’s pretty safe.....


 ....


“Look , Jen, there’s Mark. I’ll just go and say hello. Scuse me.”....


 ....


I weave my way through the tables of old women eating cake and slip in beside Mark, who is inexplicably intently reading through the order of service. Probably doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Begs the question as to why he came. Probably for the food. Right enough, I don’t really want to talk to anyone. Pretty much just want to eat the food too. Two sides of the same coin. Maybe it’s meant. ....


 ....


“Hi Sabrina, smashing purvey.” ....


“Hiya, yup, not bad.”....


“Want to get out of here?”....


“I certainly do.”....


“Do you want to come back to mine for a coffee?”....


“Do you want me to come?”....


“Aye. It’s fine, it’s fine.”....


 ....


Great! An out. Let’s go. I tail Mark back across the hall, see Jen - and wait for him to launch into his customary not-quite imperceptible body swerve when faced with her, when he stops, and beckons her over.....


 ....


“We’re going back to mine, d’you want to come?”....


 ....


Eh? Hold on. Since an abortive attempt a date last year, Mark has never addressed her, much less looked her in the eye, much less asked her to come with him anywhere, let alone to his house. I suppose he has me for cover in an emergency. ....


 ....


“OK,” she says, doubtfully, searching my face for confirmation that I am indeed included in this excursion, “yes, I suppose so.”....


 ....


So here, we are, the odd trio, clipping down the high street in our good blacks, up the close to Mark’s flat.....


 ....


 ....





 ....



 

 ....


“The Parish of Waterside and Crooksley....


Seeks....


A full time Minister....


Unrestricted Call....


 ....


Waterside church is a forward thinking congregation, eager to call a minister with a similar outlook. We want to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century before it is over. We want some new angles on Christmas, Easter -  and Harvest in particular jazzed up a bit. Rest assured, a willing and able congregation is poised to volunteer for various jobs, and, if you play your cards right, you could delegate the whole job and sit back in middle-class-suburbia and have quite a nice life amongst us. Do be wary though – some of the parishioners are real nutters with chips on their shoulders like you wouldn’t believe; with hang-ups and hobby horses that are welded to their souls. The congregation welcome applications from young and old, but young would be better. ....


 ....


***....


 ....


 ....


Mark’s Blog ....


October 31 2008....


 ....


Today was pretty dire. A community in mourning, but all I could think about was cake. I am not very good at mourning. I don’t really get it. Especially for ancient Christians. I shoulda been thinking about the old man’s life and legacy, but I was just worried about phones going off and people dropping coffin ropes or calling the deceased’s nephews by the wrong names in the prayers. But apart from the usual technical glitches and hitches, the parish stepped – I dunno whether it was into the past, the present or the future. I wonder who they’ll get. Some whipper-snapper with a degree and no life experience. A woman. ....


 ....


So I had the girls back afterwards. Some pair. And not just on the fat one. Her with her self esteem in perpetual flux and the other with her own brand of aloof friendliness. I don’t know what they think of me. And it’s weird with that elephant sitting in my lounge, as ever, with “Singleness” tattooed to its forehead. But with the three of us there, there were three elephants all vying for space, so it was pretty claustrophobic. But it was good. Despite the potential subtext, there was no tension. Just nice to get away from the stewed tea and lipstick-marked tea-cups. But I wanted to go to see off the old man. Much as I may have moaned – he was one of the good guys, and he didn’t put up with any rubbish from the hysterics. I hope they get a decent replacement. ....





 ....



 

 ....


Sunday 2 November....


Order of Service....


 ....


Call to worship: Geoff McGough....


Hymn: Praise to the Lord....


 ....


Children’s Address: Laura McGough (the one about the Light of the world. Vis Aid: A torch)....


 ....


Reading: Psalm 119 vs 105....


 ....


Song: That S U one....


 ....


Sermon: Bernie Traynor....


“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”....


 ....


Hymn: The one that Bernie Traynor wrote that goes to “Home, home on the Range.”....


 ....


Benediction: Geoff McGough....


 ....


Tea, coffee and soft “NICE” biscuits will be served by slevery women afterwards in the large hall. ....


 ....





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 ....


 ....


Victory! I am on the vacancy committee! Who’d have thought they’d ask me! Well, I suppose the vast majority of the congregation will be dead soon, so they might as well ask the young people. Young! Hardly. I am thirty. When I was wee that was old. That was a big age. That was the age people’s parents were. I wonder who else is going to be on it. Fun!....


 ....


I turn the corner into the Manse driveway. This’ll be scary, kinda – going into Skirving’s house and him being actually dead. I wonder if they’ll have got rid of all his personal effects yet, or will the place be littered with books and newspapers and saucers of cat food and green cardis and slippers and fust and stoor.....


 ....


I ring the big white porcelain bell that looks like an eyeball in a brass socket. How scared will I be if Skirving comes to answer? Who is it? Oh, it’s Laura McGough. Shock horror, not. Of course she’s on it: it’s a committee. ....


 ....


Laura McGough wouldn’t have much of a job looking spectacular in the AFTER part of a makeover show – she has such a long way to go. Not in a nasty way. She is unkept and unkempt, with crispy hair and shiny skin. With a pint of conditioner and subdued lighting, she’d look at least a decade her junior. But what with the McGough budgeting ethics, I don’t see it happening. Geoff McGough wrote a book, you know – “Finance, Fear and the Future: A Christian Tightens his Belt”. I skimmed the blurb at the bookstall and thought I’d best not read it in case part of the answer was to end up with hair like an oversized paintbrush.....


 ....


 Laura has made a career out of committees. Founding, chairing, delegating, disbanding. It’s an art form. The good thing about any of Laura’s committees is that she has a sense of pace about her. There’s an agenda and we are getting through it. On some church committees, people seem to think that the point is to have something to say at every cut and turn. Laura keeps the action points flowing until everyone is keen to get to AOB before they get a weighty remit. And woe to any who doesn’t turn up or send apologies. That’s an invitation to be volunteered for all the leftover tasks. ....


 ....


I try not to look too excited to be here, as I nod polite hellos to the other people who must be classed as the great and the good to get on the committee. So there are BOTH the McGoughs, BOTH the Traynors, Mrs Campbell, Mrs Dawkins, Mrs Hawkins and the Mulberry twins, Ina and Ruth.  A little short on the men, methinks. Maybe there’s more to come. Nope, I am last. Laura whips out her clipboard and away we go.....





 ....



 

 ....


Excerpt from “Church, Choice and Chairing: A Christian Model for Management” by Geoff McGough (1st draft)....


 ....





     


  1. Pick your committee members with care.....



  2. Always have the backbone of the church represented. Figure out who always does everything, then ask them to do it. They will end up doing it anyway, but if they hadn’t been asked they’ll do it with their noses in the air and a chip on their shoulder. ....



  3. Ask someone who has recently had a nasty shock or personal trauma. They need some community responsibility to get their mind off it. They will also feel relieved that people don’t think they have lost the plot after their ordeal. The good thing is that they will still be self obsessing during the meetings, so they won’t have the mental energy to formulate coherent ideas, so you will be able to railroad through what you want without worrying that they might vote against you.....



  4. Ask someone young. They are the church of tomorrow. I mean today.....



  5. Ask someone old. You don’t want to appear ageist.....



  6. Ask those with the most friends and acquaintances in the congregation. They will know the popular consensus, so the committee will look good if it comes up with recommendations that are guaranteed winners. ....



 

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(2107)....


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Tuesday, October 28, 2008 

Too Busy Not to Blog

I was planning to have a rest from the blogging – then I realised I haven't been blogging anyway. But I really really won't have time now, wot with the extension, the baling/bailing out for six weeks, the nano-novel and the weans-work balance.

Even though the house is horrendous and actually uninhabitable, I have never been happier. I was wondering if I would have been happier if we had moved into my dream house that we never bought – and I really don't think so. Could be wrong. But encouraging to note that circumstances don't have much of a bearing on core joy levels.

So we went to the kitchen place today (again) to finalise like taps. I so don't care (not in an ungrateful way…). Nothing could be worse that my current taps which are like broken pre-operation scrub taps. And what a joy it will be to have cupboard doors that aren't held up by masking tape. And they'll have fronts too, like actual cupboards do. And I'll be able to swing a cat. If I wanted.

All the stuff that was in the garage has come to a sticky but predictable end. I told husband to go buy an unsightly plastic shed from B and Q. He declined. So, when clearing the garage before converting it, the builder put everything under a hefty tarpaulin in the back gargen. And then it rained for forty days and forty nights and the wind huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed until everything that was in the garage was soaked through and now needs put in a skip. If only we could have forseen this, which we could, really, we could have told the builder to put the contents of the garage straight into the skip and saved us the soggy disposal task that now awaits.

But the garage conversion looks like a very good idea. It'll be cute. Husband thinks it is ear-marked for him. Oh how I chuckle.

So, new year, new me. Call me Robbie Williams and let me entertain you. I wonder what my budget will be.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 

Current mood:  tired
Category: Writing and Poetry

Coffee Spoons? No –

I measure out my life

In pink plastic scoops.

Breast may be best,

But formula is the formula:

It makes magic milk.

 

Stacked in a steriliser

Six minutes in steam.

O-ring, teat, lid and bottle,

Seven ounces of sterile water.

 

So seven scoops for seven ounces

A row of bottles hanging on the

 

Kitchen counter - That's me-

 

Don't put me off,

Scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop.

Seven.

 

Six times seven is

42

ounces of milk.

 

And a day.

 

Life, the universe and everything -

Measure for measure

Bottle after bottle

Day after day.

 

 

Saturday, September 13, 2008 

Current mood:smug
Category: Food and Restaurants

The Secret to Losing nearly a Stone in about Six Weeks.

Enough people have asked, so here is the diet plan:

Don't rush into it. Psych up and have a date set that you plan to start the diet.

Have a weigh in time, once a week and write down your weight.

Make high calorie snacks and baking and give them to other people to eat

What you are not allowed:

        Any real garbage: no full fat crisps, drinks, Sainsbury chocolate muffins, kipling apple pies, handfuls of cheddar cheese on everything, full fat milk, biscuits, chocolate – anything like that. Just don't buy it.

What you are allowed:

As much as you like or tea, coffee, fruit juice and diet juice.

Any fruit in any amount.

Any vegetables in any amount

Here's my usual daily eating:

Breakfast  - cup of tea and a bowl of cereal (My current favourite is full sugar Alpen) or wholemeal toast, two slices and jam.

Morning coffee – just a coffee.

Lunch – soup and a sandwich – but make an effort with the sandwich – stuff it full of whatever you like – add salad. (Remember, you are not going to be washing it down with an apple pie and a packet of crisps) Go easy on the mayo and cheese though.

Afternoon tea – just the tea  (and maybe a cereal bar or a wee biscuit if you are seeing stars through a lack of nourishment…) or a chopped apple and or a banana, or whatever.

Dinner – for the first week have microwave weight watchers dinners (eeked out by as many fruit and veg as you like). These help to get into your head what portion sizes should be. In other weeks, try to replicate the vibe of the weightwatchers meals, but if you make it yourself with real ingredients it'll taste nicer.

Mid-late evening – only if you are hungry

A snack is allowed e.g:

-         an avocado and mayonnaise

-         toast

-         cereal

-         diet crisps and diet juice

               

But when I go back to work will the lorne sausage breakfast butties be too good to leave unbought?????
Currently reading:
The Picture of Dorian Gray (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) (Barnes & Noble Classics)
By Oscar Wilde
Friday, September 12, 2008 

Current mood:  satisfied
Category: Writing and Poetry

Ten Again

My rings are spinning -

I'm thinning:

Winning.

Hah!

I laugh in the face of calories.

I'll walk them into burn-out.

Pounding the pavement,

Pounds in the pound pound.

Be gone!

Aff the scale… then…

Fourteen, twelve

now ten

again.

I thought my ticket

Out of Ten Town

said 'One Way.'

But here I am again:

one weigh

or another.

 

Sunday, August 24, 2008 

Category: Writing and Poetry

Housework

Agitated perpetual motion,

Moving the house on.

Never done.

"The Laundry":

Out the machine,

in the dryer,

out the dryer,

ironed, stowed, worn,

discarded, collected,

In the machine.

Not the done thing.

"The Dishes"

Stacked in a precarious pile:

Congealed ragu, cemented porridge

Caked spoons, stained plates.

Load;

unload the dishy;

rehome the plates.

A round of waste-guilt:

What shoulda been composted;

What shoulda be recycled;

What shoulda been eaten;

What shoulda been eaten in date.

Bin, bin, bin,

Clang the lid on.

Undone.

A wise woman once said:

"Tidy as you go!"

She gleefully rummaged in the suds,

Her red fingers finding the last teaspoon.

She dried it to a shine;

Put it to bed with the other spoons.

In my mind I am a lady who does.

My surfaces gleam with an antibacterial smile.

A well-stocked fridge showers the children

With the vitamins of love.

One day.

'tis done.

Thursday, August 14, 2008 

Category: Writing and Poetry

The Mother of Invention

"You'll just have to!"

Charlie stared even more intently at the telly. Maybe she'd go away.

"But it's ready. Come on. Please, Son."

With a familiar sigh of defeat, Charlie straightened from his slump and snapped off "Dr Who".

Down the rickety steps, deep in the cellar, under the stairs, a bare bulb hung, illuminating the machine. It emanated a throbbing hum.

"Ta-da!"

He rolled his eyes. She had been working on the time machine for as long as he could remember. Longer probably. But a time machine made largely from a recycled exercise bike, a cannula stolen from a plastic surgeon, some control top pants and a tub of moisturiser was NEVER going to work.

 "So…?"

"Jump on, son!" she urged, her wild eyes flashing. "Just pedal backwards as fast as you can!"

For a moment, Charlie gently held her soft and weary face. "It's not going to work," he said, kindly.

 "It has to."

As she blinked away tears, he did as she asked. Eyes shut, he pedalled backwards as fast as he could. The humming grew to a buzz. The buzz soon turned to a roar. As Charlie's usually idle legs blurred with speed, there was an unbearable fizzing and buzzing and crackling and scratching and screaming and silence.

Charlie stopped pedalling and opened his eyes.

Where his mother had stood there now lay a brand new baby wearing a charred pair of control top undies, a dollop of moisturiser and a smile.