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Scott Bryan


Last Updated: 10/30/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 27
Sign: Pisces

City: Albuqueerque
State: New Mexico
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/19/2005

Blog Archive
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Friday, June 05, 2009 

Current mood:paranoid
you've got to keep with the times. already i feel like the technological world is slipping away from me. even these social networking sites are getting too fast or too complicated. I enjoyed the myspace when it first arrived. now it seems as though everyone has moved on. I'm still trying to figure out what the appeal of facebook is, but for the life of me, it just seems like a bunch of bulls**t. No, I don't want to tend an online garden! So what if my vampire got attacked! 

And now with the twitter! Well, I'm on there, i just can't miss the opportunity to see what darth vader is doing at any given moment. And I'm buying things from Itunes. And I own both a mac and a PC. I just don't want to look around in five years and feel like some old fool that doesn't even know how to operate a phone or pay for groceries at the store. Have you seen these old folks that don't even know how to swipe a credit card properly? I don't want to be that person. 

And technology is moving forward at a really alarming rate. Remember when we were kids and you had to get directions from your friends to find a party? And if your friend didn't give good directions, you had to find a pay phone and call him again. Now all you need is the address and your car or phone will tell you exactly how to get there and how long it will take. and if you still get lost, just use your phone to call his phone. no worries. And don't forget to update your twitter and facebook pages with exactly what you're doing on the drive over to the party. everyone else will want to know.

It's awesome, but also crazy.
Currently reading:
NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR; 1984
By George Orwell
Release date: 2008-08-03
Tuesday, February 03, 2009 

Current mood:  bitchy
Category: Friends

People who say “I need” when ordering fast food. Example: “Yeah, um, I need a double quarter pounder, large fries and a diet coke.” No you don’t.

 

People who order a Coke at a restaurant and won’t accept a Pepsi instead. And vice versa. “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t drink a cola beverage unless it has just the right sugary goodness and tickles the back of my throat in just the right way.” You are f***ing lame.

 

Children.

 

People who cuss too much in general conversation.

 

People who are actively looking for their “soul mate.”

 

Emo kids with their butt cracks hanging out. Girls, I’m looking at you too.

 

People who say "Morning" as a greeting. You need the "Good" to make it a greating. You are wishing a person to have a "good morning". It's already cut down from "Hope you have a good morning." Without the "good" you're just stating a time of day. This means nothing to me.
 

Currently listening:
Greatest Hits: 30 Years of Rock
By George Thorogood
Release date: 2004-05-18
Monday, January 12, 2009 

Current mood:  blah
We made green chili corn bread. It's good. I'm going to eat it (with beans) while watching new 24.
That's all that's happening.
Currently reading:
Infinite Jest
By David Foster Wallace
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 

Current mood:  handsome
Category: Religion and Philosophy
I was scared of Santa Claus when I was a kid. Christmas day was fine, I would get up like a regular kid and open presents and be happy; but the thought of SEEING Santa Claus never sat well with me. I have the same aversion to mascots in costumes. In high school I would purposefully avoid our mascot; and when Mandy and I were on our honeymoon in Florida I still didn't have any desire to get near any of the Disney characters, even the ones that didn't have the big fake heads (like Cinderella). Even going to the mall to tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas was kind of a stressful event in my childhood. I just don't like people in costumes or magical beings. Like I said, the thought of Santa Claus was, and is, fine by me. It makes me happy to know that he's out there; but thinking about getting out of bed on Christmas Eve to get a drink of water and actually running into him. Yikes, that freaks me out.
Currently watching:
The Year Without a Santa Claus (Deluxe Edition)
Release date: 2007-10-02
Wednesday, November 05, 2008 

Current mood:  virginal
Category: Romance and Relationships

Have you noticed how short John McCain's arms are? Watch tonight and pay attention, especially if they show him in one of those poofy jackets he likes to trot around in. It makes him seem like a baby. A super old baby. And we all know how I feel about babies.

 

Have you noticed that trick-or-treaters are thinning out every year? I think it's a combination of parent's lazy over-protection of their children and kids growing up too fast. By 'lazy over-protection' I mean that parents don't want their kids going out alone at night, but the parents themselves are too lazy to accompany their kids. Then by the time kids reach an age where they are old enough to go trick-or-treating on their own, they don't want to anymore. That's lame.

 

Have you noticed that everyone in Albuquerque is a film maker? Well, not me, buster, not anymore.

 

Have you noticed that alcoholics never give up on their childhood dreams? That's nice.

 

Have you noticed that there are a lot more funny women in media lately? And they're so vulgar. Woo-We! I like that.

 

Have you noticed that the winner of any political argument is also the loudest person in the room?  That annoys me, because loud people are usually idiots.

 

Have you noticed that it's been warmer longer this year? I'm wearing shorts in November. Short shorts.

 

Have you noticed that cheeseburgers are fucking delicious? That one's for all you vegaterians out there. Cheeseburgers are good. It's not just my opinion. I have data collected by scientists that concludes that cheeseburgers taste excellent and also make your face look better (because you're smiling). And as for the moral problem with eating another living thing, I can safely say that if I tasted as great as a cow, I would give up my pointless life in a heartbeat. That makes it okay for me to take part in the sacrifice that cows make for me. But even in death and consumption, I don't think I would satisfy anyone… especially the ladies. And part of the reason the ladies don't like me is that I eat so many cheeseburgers. Weird?

 

Have you noticed that the previous paragraph is a little larger than the others? I couldn't get that to go away. I think it's the internet trying to tell you that my message about cheeseburgers is important.

Currently reading:
Consider the Lobster: And Other Essays
By David Foster Wallace
Friday, October 24, 2008 

Current mood:  rockin
Category: Music

I'm sorry, but there is something about meatallica that turns me into a fourteen year old kid headbanging and jumping on his bed. Call me lame if you will, but I think those fellas really have something there.

And the fact that my wife allowed me to take her to see them on our wedding anniversary means that she's the coolest wife on the planet.   

Currently listening:
Master of Puppets
By Metallica
Release date: 1990-10-25
Friday, August 15, 2008 

Current mood:  sleepy
Category: Blogging

just advanced to the final round of the comedy contest. my set wasn't very good but it was 'good enough' i guess.

learning to be a casino dealer is hard and takes a lot of time and effort. more than you would expect.

i'm doing readings in a native american playwright festival this weekend. hard also.

Billy left me a message offering me a small but cool part in his new movie. i'm going to do it. excited.

I'm glad all the good olympics are on at 2 in the morning, that's the only time i have to watch them.

sorry i haven't called some folks back lately, just don't have the energy.

metallica is coming to albuquerque on my first wedding anniversary. i am slowly convincing my wife that it would be a good idea to go.

Currently listening:
Death Magnetic
By Metallica
Release date: 2008-09-12
Saturday, April 19, 2008 

Current mood:  okay
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

The business side of making movies is hard. I've never had to deal with it before, mostly because I've never made a movie that cost any money. But this new one will, and I don't have any, so I'm going to have to try and get other people to pay for it, which is hard. It's also super interesting though, making a budget and a schedule and lookin' up legal jargon. But I still kind of wish I was just on set shooting already.

 

I'm sure when I'm on set I'll wish I was editing, and when I'm editing I'll wish the movie was done, and when the movie's done I'll wish I had just been a baseball player like my dad wanted me to.

 

Movies!

Monday, April 07, 2008 

Current mood:  amused
Category: Pets and Animals

If you want to experience some real, quality art, listen to the song I have on my profile right now. It’s Mason Jennings’ Jackson Square, off his 2006 album, Boneclouds. This song gives me the shivers every time I listen to it. It’s the tale of two lover’s inability to hold onto one another as insanity tears them apart, and by the time Jennings hammers home his point in the last two lines of the song, it just makes me want to cry. Man, this guy is a good songwriter. This song is perfect in that it slowly tells a straightforward story that can easily be understood, but it is also sprinkled with imagery that really helps the listener connect with the feelings that these people, or at least the narrator in the song, were having. And if you like the tune, check out the rest of his stuff, because this is just my personal favorite. Also, he’s coming to Santa Fe again in May, and if you’ve never seen him live, I would totally recommend it.  The man puts on an awesome, intimate little show. He’s made a point in his career to stay small and under the radar, but I don’t know how much longer he’s going to be able to just play places like the Santa Fe Brewing Co. so you’d better see him now.

 

Also, on a cool side note, there’s an awesome scene in I’m Not There, the semi-biographical flick about Bob Dylan, where Christian Bale is lip syncing a Dylan song that is actually being played by Jennings. So it’s kind of like a three-for-one deal. Bale-Dylan-Jennings all in one character.

 

On a totally unrelated note: what the hell is the deal with Dustin Diamond? That guy has officially become a total crazy person. What a life he has lived. He started out as loveable little Screech on Saved by the Bell, went on to do some raunchy porn, and now is dealing with serious racial issues on a reality show about fat celebrities. What a douche.

 

On an even less related note, I saw some fine sketch comedy from the troupe Mild Peril this weekend. They are good. The show was a little slow and unorganized at times, and a LOT wordy at times, but the fun that the performers were having, the energy that they had, and the raw comic talent that is so obvious in all the members of the troupe really carried the show. Plus, The Box Theater is about the coolest place in Albuquerque to see a show right now. So check it out, ya jerks!

 

Thursday, March 20, 2008 

Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Ophelia Screams

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) at the Albuquerque Little Theatre

By Steven Robert Allen
.

There once was a time when the Albuquerque Little Theatre (ALT) catered exclusively to the prim and proper. You could bring your grandma or your 8-year-old and you wouldn’t have to worry whether they might take offense at a soft-core penis joke or some simulated retching.

 

Those days, thankfully, are over. The ALT still caters to a more conventional audience than most other theaters in town. They have a family theater series for the kids, for example, and they do standard vanilla fare like their pre-Christmas staged version of It’s a Wonderful Life. This is a good thing, and not only because these shows pay the rent. Albuquerque is a large enough city to deserve the broadest theatrical palette, from the comfortingly ordinary all the way to the oddball fringe.

 

That said, it’s nice to see Albuquerque’s most venerable theater throw in some dirty surprises now and then, challenging its audience with material you would usually only find in hipper, grubbier venues. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) is an enjoyable example of this. This isn’t weirdo experimental theater but it is just a little bit smutty, and it’s strange enough to satisfy those eager for something a wee bit different.

 

The premise is a fun one. Three actors attempt to cram the entire output of William Shakespeare into a two-hour show. We’re talking everything—every play, every sonnet. For good measure, they even throw in a bit of mangled bard biography.

 

Of course, to make it all work, they have to cut a few corners, and the creative solutions provide much of the entertainment value. The verbal agility required to accomplish some of the scenes is ear-popping, particularly when they smash all of Shakespeare’s comedies into a single machine-gun monologue or transform Othello into a freaky white-boy hip-hop number.

 

We’re in good hands with this production, which is directed by Lee Francis and Jason Witter, two of the masterminds behind the local comedy troupe Eat, Drink and Be Larry. For one thing, these boys have plenty of experience making fun of Shakespeare. Original shows like Hamlet the Vampire Slayer and Macbeth in Space have been fixtures of Albuquerque’s late-night comedy scene for years.

 

Two of the three performers—Scott Bryan and Daniel T. Cornish—are Eat, Drink and Be Larry veterans. The third performer, Ryan Jason Cook, is an impressive and seamless addition.

 

It’s hard to talk about the actors as individuals because they work so well together as a unit. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) is an energetic, athletic show with the threesome doing handstands, flips, rolls, spectacular falls and slides. They stomp. They shout. They force the audience to take heed.

 

This show is all about having a good time, and that’s about it. Still, the membrane between audience and performers gets pierced at several points during the play, as a reminder, perhaps, that Shakespeare isn’t merely about dead poets and kings but can also offer up a powerful exploration of the here and now.

 

In one crucial scene, the threesome forces a bewildered audience member to become Ophelia. In that moment, the membrane gets torn away entirely, and we see, to our horror, that there’s no division at all between the folks cowering in their seats and the exuberant bozos on stage. It’s a transcendent point in a show that expels most of its energy mocking Shakespearean pomposity. In that moment, all the world really is a stage, and all of us merely players—making exits and entrances, taking on different roles, forced to change with new circumstances.

 

Yet The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) will be just as appealing to people who hate Shakespeare as to those who love him. Just sit back and enjoy the ingenious, fluffy stupidity of it all. And if your grandma is offended by simulated retching, leave her at home.