Due to the demands of fans (well, mainly the persistence of my good friend Paul Brown), I decided to start writing my Public Transportation Diaries again. I stopped mostly because I drive now and also because I've been out of town a lot the past few months. However, it's ludicrous to drive into Manhattan anytime before 6pm, so I do have a few entries for your enjoyment. So, ENJOY!

-------------

When you get a car and become accustomed to the solitude and comfort of private transportation, the train can be annerving. It's like making a "number 2," leaving the bathroom without spraying, and coming back after 5 minutes...You don't realize how nasty it is till you've left.

Hence, my trip on the 3 train.

A man gets on the semi-full train at 14th Street and sits one seat away on my right. He looks a little dirty, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he was panhadling. However, he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a long string of dental floss. I close my eyes and pray he's not going to do what I think he is.

Of course, he does.

He begins to floss his teeth, getting every one from left to right. You can hear the floss being plucked as it forces plaque and pieces of food out from his incisors and molars. I try not to let him see the disgust on my face, but the lady across from me isn't trying. We're together on our 'grossed out'ness, which he pays no mind to and continues till his stop at 34th Street. He gets up, holds a pole with one hand, and discards the string of floss on the traincar floor. I couldn't hide my face then, and he saw it. He combats my look of disgust with one of anger. His eyes say "Heffa, whatcha lookin at? You gonna do something? Yea, I threw it on the floor. What?! I'll do the same thing to you if you look at me again." (Yea, I got all of that from his ONE look.) I quickly darted my eyes and he got off the train.

I instantly miss my car.

On October 10th, 2009, I was blessed to perform at Allied Sounds Productions' first annual "One Mic Series" in the Berkeley Auditorium on the lovely island of Bermuda! Along with me were several other talented artist friends of mine: Aja-Monet, Mayda del Valle, Jason Reynolds, Rafael Casal, and our friend & photographer, Nelson Caban. Here are parts 1 & 2 of my video blog as well as a live performance of "A Message to My Girls." Thank you, Yesha Townsend, Shondi Woods & Shayla Woods for booking me and allowing me to be a part of such a wonderful experience & concert.

This morning, I posted my daily quote. Today it was from Deepak Chopra:

" Religion is belief in someone else's experience. Spirituality is having your own experience."

A friend of mine responded: "Careful with Deepak. He does not accept Jesus as his personal Saviour, or acknowledge His true Divinity as the only way to salvation. Just lookin out 4 a sista. :-)"

Do not attack him...He was sincere in letting me know about Deepak's teaching and belief system since it is contradictory to Biblical Christianity. He believe that someone might read his quote and think I am endorsing his teaching and start to read his writings innocently and end up following him.

To the person that wrote this to me, I am not offended. I love discussing topics and thoughts such as these, and I do get what you are saying. I just wonder why people don't check the religion of every person we quote on a regular basis. From Maya Angelou to Oprah to Dr. Phil to Ben Franklin. I just think that to look at a quote and consider it an endorsement would be quite a stretch. We quote African proverbs, Aesop's morals, and Confucian sayings...do we look at it as an affiliation with the country or religion? I just think that it's a bit much to look at one quote and tell me "Be careful because he isn't Christian." As I stated before, we do not check the religion of all of the people who say prolific things in our history. Many preachers will present inspirational quotes in their sermons wherever they find it from. To quote Ghandi, wouldn't mean I follow him. I just think that sometimes as Christians, we can be a little too hypersensitive when it comes to things and people that don't think as we do. To say I can't quote the man, even though he said something very true just because of his religion, does exude feelings of separatism and exclusion. While I do understand where folk are coming from, do understand where I am coming from as well.

Responses like this contribute to the reason it's hard to witness to others because many Christians feel like we are the only ones who can speak the truth. We may have more truth than others but if a weedhead or a prostitute says, "Religion is following someone's beliefs, Spirituality is having your own experience," I'd quote them regardless of their accepted lifestyle. It's true and it makes me question my own religion vs. My relationship. It's one thing if someone said "True that. I wish Deepak's other teachings were as agreeable with what we believe in." That's fine. But when you warn me about his beliefs disregarding the true statement he made, it seems like I'm being told to run away from the man. John 10:16 says, "And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold." Jesus said that they will hear His voice and He will bring them. It is not our job to ignore them till they are brought over. A Christian writer once said, "There are many people who are one step away from being saved." Deepak Chopra may not be a Christian, but his beliefs focus on the nature of the mind, human relationships, and bringing about positive change in society- all things that I embrace and study myself. I cannot negate a valid statement regardless of who said it.

While I do not embrace all of Deepak Chopra's teachings, yes, there are many people who follow RELIGION which is defined as a "system of beliefs." They follow what the rules are as outlined by a Bible or as outlined by the folk around them. They listen to the preacher or priest, don't question what is told to them, and PRACTICE religion. Religion is following a pattern or behavior, as the Pharisees of the Bible. It's focused on actions and deeds. Being a person connected to the Spirit, having Spirituality, means you are connected to the source. It requires a relationship, a level of personal intimacy that many people do not have. Someone wrote that Deepak was trying to diss religion on the low. If you want to take it that way, fine. But honestly, I am tired of RELIGION especially because religion can't get me into Heaven. Following patterns and rules and doctrine does not mean I have Jesus. If that was all we needed, Jesus would not have died on the cross for me. He would have just gave us advice on following rules. I am seeking a Spiritual connection with God. I hope that this quote helped someone analyze their own beliefs. That's why I posted it.

Stay Blessed
www.shanellegabriel.com

............

From comedian’s jokes on gay Choir directors to whispers of down-low Pastors, homosexuality is fast becoming synonymous with Church-life. I too have witnessed who my friend calls “delicate” men, in flamboyant suits, off-the-wall haircuts, and other things that many would give a Wendy Williams’ style “How you doin?” to. Many people laugh about it, but I think that laughter just shows how serious and/or uncomfortable many Christians are with the subject.

.. ..

First off, let me say to my friends that are homosexual. This is not a condemnation letter to you. As I always say, Jesus didn’t give me access to Heaven’s VIP list, so I have no write to tell ANYONE who will and won’t be there. I will be honest and say that as a Christian and a heterosexual female, I do not agree with the lifestyle and I believe that it is a sin: the same way lying, lust, and fornication are sins (all things I struggle with). If you disagree, that is your opinion. I am entitled to mine. No love lost. We should still be friends regardless of who you choose to sleep with. As a Christian and a human being, it is my duty to say what I believe unapologetically and from my heart. I only speak what I call truth without fire and brimstone but with love.

.. ..

Back to the matter at hand: I was once told indirectly by a musician friend of mine that in order to be down with different gospel ‘cliques’ you had to embrace the flamboyant, metrosexual style and mannerisms. What does that have to do with the gospel? Nothing.

.. ..

In a religion where Leviticus 18:22 says, “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable” and speaks about homosexuality in Romans 1:26-27 as an unnatural act, we see it more and more prevalent in today's church. We ignore it, we don't speak of it, but we condemn it when it finally faces us. Preachers seem scared to talk about the subject, as if they'd lose favor or members in their congregation. Sex altogether isn't discussed except to say, "Um, we don't do that." Hopefully, the situation with Tonex will spark more of a dialogue as to why it is not of God and why premarital sex itself (commitment or not, heterosexual or not) is a sin.

.. ..

Someone spoke about this being a result of bridging the WORLD and the CHURCH from Kirk to Tonex. As a Christian that is an artist, I have battled folk that have told me, "Shanelle, why are you performing in nightclubs? Why aren't you working the church circuit? Why are you are cool with this secular artist, etc...etc." The fact is that we can't say that what Kirk Franklin tried to do was wrong. I believe that it's more than being a "bridge" to the world and the church. The idea is that we need to let others see that the church exists outside of a building, that God is ready and waiting to enter the hearts of anyone who will let Him in, regardless of the state that they are in. Hold up! Not saying that they are supposed to stay in the state they are in, but Kirk paved the way for many people to start the conversation with God inside themselves. While there are artists who strictly focus on praise and worship, someone has to do the outreach. Remember, Jesus DID NOT spend his life ministering in the temple. He was IN the world. He did not only speak on rules of the church, he spoke on loving your neighbor, on marriage, on life, on work ethic, on laws of the state. I have no problem with people Christian artists doing the same (I myself try to make music that God as well as the church can approve of while growing in creativity and being sincere).

In conclusion, you cannot save a people that you believe you are better than; maybe you can believe you are better off than them, but to view them as a plague that needs to be ignored and preached at from afar is wrong. And let's not forget that while we do need to live a non-secular lifestyle, we ALL have our battles, some just more outward and visible than others. We all have our shortcomings and imperfections. If we want to help each other, we need to do it in love and without a spirit of condemnation and elitism.

.. ..

I am very interested in the church dialogue. Maybe now pastors and church folk won't pretend that homosexuality as well as pre/extra-marital sex don't exist in the church. It should be discussed (not used to condemn folk to hell) the same way we like to talk about the right day of worship, unity, temperance, vegetarianism, and all the other easily talked about ideals of the church.

My thoughts....

I saw a post on MediaTakeout.com stating that edgy Gospel artist, Tonex, has come out of the closet as a homosexual. Not to be led by rumors, I was directed to his interview on The Lexi Show. Below is the interview in 3 parts. I have my commentary coming soon.

I doubt I'll get half this stuff, but in a perfect world, for my birthday this year (June 27th), I'd open my eyes and see this:

1) The KODAK Zi6 Pocket Video Camera so I can keep up on my blogging and my posts.

2) A certificate for 3 months of guitar lessons.
I have the guitar, just need a few lessons to get it down.

3) Tickets to No Doubt's concert on June 26th.
My most favoritest band ever is performing at PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ!


4) Cash money always works and I'm not talking about Lil Wayne & dem. :)
They can be in envelopes that say: "Studio Time" or "Logo" (cause I need one) "Promotional Stuff" or "Travel Expenses." Shoot, a gas gift card works!


5) A packed house at my birthday party/performance at Negril Village
July 8th, 2009
Come out to my free show at 70 West 3rd Street between LaGuardia and Thompson.
Doors open at 6pm, show starts at 7pm.
You get to hear some of my new music/poetry with my live band and have some cake.
Afterwards, we party the night away to the sounds of a great DJ!

I just had to share this experience. Trust me, a song or a poem is
coming out of this. If you think it's too long, just read the
paragraphs with the *s next to em. lol. I was venting. :)

--------



While everyone was enjoying the unseasonable, random warmth of
yesterday (Sunday), yours truly was in a cell at the 71st Precinct.
Some reckless kids and gangsta artists welcome trouble with the law as
ways to up street credibility or inspiration. Nah. I was pissed!



*Imagine, my newly washed car glistening sun-rays off his hood. My car,
Bobby, was looking on point, and so was his girl Shanelle. My cream
turtleneck perfectly complimented my tortoise shell Burberry shades,
the window was down, my make-up and hair was tight, blasting T.I.'s
"Swing Ya Rag," I swear I was in a 90s So So Def music video. I was on
my way to link with my booking rep to pick something up and then to see
the movie Push with a fella friend of mine out in the city. I make a
right turn (later I find out I breezed past a sign that said "No Right
Turns"), and I get pulled over by a police VAN a lil past the corner of
Flatbush and Empire.



*This is my first time being pulled over so I turn down my music, turn
off the engine and roll my window down. Two officers approach the
vehicle and one tells me of my bad turn. I suck it up as he takes my
license and registration back to his van. I text my friend Lawrence
about the situation, and he jokingly writes back:



"Damn! Look cute and take it on the chin. Don't let em take you to jail. Call me when it's over."



*I chuckle, then I hear the van door slam. I lean out the car window as
I see 5 officers get out. As I think it, I say it, "Why are all of you
getting out?" Oh gosh...Rodney King, Oscar Grant, Sean Bell. All these
names rush in my head. 5 cops for little old me. But then I shake it
out because, hey, I've done nothing wrong. I paid any tickets I've
gotten and I've never been pulled over before.



*He asks me to get out the car. I get out, aware of the busy
intersection of cars slowing down to see what looks like an episode of
Cops. One officer tries to explain everything.



*"We ran your license and it turns out you received a summons that you
never showed up for, and your license is suspended." I cut him off to
stammer, "I've never received a summons. If you look at my record, I
paid off every parking ticket I've gotten. If I'm so adamant about
paying off tickets, why would I ignore a summons? No, there's a
mistake." He shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry miss, but we have to
take you in. Can you put your hands on the vehicle? We have to search
you." An indignant tear creeps from my eye, as I hesitantly and
disgracefully put my hands on the car. I try to breathe slow to calm
myself down and to hold back the tears, only for them to pour onto my
cheeks as he says, "We have to handcuff you now." I start shaking my
head no and say, "Please, don't cuff me. I'll go peacefully, just don't
cuff me." He says they have to, and I put my head down. I walk to the
van, feeling like a runaway slave being dragged to a plantation, spirit
feeling broken and just trying to figure out how this happened. The
White female officer who searched me seemed to have pain in her eyes
for me. I realized this van was filled with rookies, and I was a lesson
on 'standard procedure.' She'll probably become emotionless like many
other cops after a few years on the force, but for now, at least one
person felt bad.



I get to the precinct, aware that the last time I came to one, I was
hooking up an officer I knew with a free case of Redbull. They take me
to the desk and get my information. A male officer held my arm as if I
was going to run away and as if they took me in for armed robbery. I
was relieved when he passes me to the female officer who just lightly
held my arm.



*I get put into a cell with another young woman, and I breathe a sigh
of relief. I had these images of masculine women lined against the
wall, looking at me like a piece of brown-skinned cake for the taking.
I sit down on the bench, and take it all in. I'm in jail. Wow. And no
one could tell me, to this day, what the summons was for and when it
was given. Just that my license is suspended because of it. People sell
drugs a few blocks away, and I'm in jail for something no one can quite
explain.



The only thing that kept me sane was the conversation I had with the
women there with me. One was there for a $15 summons she ignored back
in 1997, and the other lady that later joined us had a more serious
case because she spoke up on the arresting officers' use of excessive
force on her son. (Because she held on to the night-stick they pressed
against her neck, pinning her to a wall, they tried to say she "held on
to an officer." They brought her in without shoes.) A man in the male
cell next to me got arrested for ripping up a BS summons he got right
in front the cops. A kid got punched in the face by a White Officer,
and two other Black Officers who were standing said they "didn't see
anything." It was crazy being around the things I and other poets write
about. Why do people want to come here? What is it about being in a
urine-scented, cramped cell that is alluring to some? Repeat offenders
can't possibly get used to this, and if they do, they've got serious
issues.



*The officer finally tells me after 2 hours of waiting that they're
giving me a DAT (Desk Appearance Ticket). It took 7 hours to process
this. I did my fingerprints, mug shots, and watched as the other
prisoners were taken downtown to the court houses.



Being alone in a cell for an hour will drive you mad. How do people do
that for years? Imagine, having to ask to use the bathroom, knowing
someone may peak to make sure you're not doing anything like drowning
yourself in toilet water or whatever they think you'll do.



*However, being there alone in my thoughts led me back to the story of
Paul and Silas who were in the prison singing praises to God. The
thought comforted me. I started humming Richard Smallwood's "I Give You
Praise" to myself, and then I busied myself with writing a song about
my situation.



They bring a sister in with me who was a kindred musical spirit: she
was a songwriter who's mom called the cops on her after starting a
fight with her, a mix-up that led to her being dragged to jail while
wearing a pretty black blouse, jeans, and cute leather black boots. She
made my time move a lot faster because we started cracking jokes on
Etta James, Whitney, and on ourselves because "Now, all we need is to
get shot and we can sell hip hop records. We're gangsta; we did hard
time." LOL.



*At 11:00pm, I was released from the cell. Sad to leave my friend
behind but glad to get away from the dirt and brown-whatever stained
walls I'd been in for 8 hours. I put my coat back on, only to be
handcuffed again to walk up front, as if I'd fight on the way out to my
freedom. He uncuffs me at the front desk, and says under his breath,
"I'm sorry about all of this. I wish I'd met you under different
circumstances." It was then that I actually looked at him. Yes, he was
okay looking, BUT he handcuffed me...against my will. I can never
forgive him for that. Nor could I imagine telling people "I met my
boyfriend when he arrested me for some BS." I have no license, and
can't get it back till I appear before the judge in March. My sister
picks me up, and I see all the missed calls from the guy I was supposed
to meet in NYC for the movies. He waited a whole hour for me. Poor
thing. :(



*Moral of the story: Well, there is a way to make the best of every
situation. Nothing we go through is unbearable. Two texts for you:

1) Psalm 30:5 says, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in
the morning." Praise God it wasn't morning when I got out, but being
that I didn't give trouble, I got out quicker than others did.

2) Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a
broken spirit drieth the bones." It would have felt much longer if I
stayed in my pit of despair. Once I began trying to cheer up those
around me, I felt a whole lot better, especially the sister that was
there right before I got out. Often times we focus on what's wrong
rather than find reasons to laugh or praise or be thankful. I went to
jail and wasn't raped, killed, or harmed during my stay. (I know it
wasn't going to be an episode of HBO's OZ, but still, you never know.)
God put cool people around me to keep me safe and sane, and He kept a
song in my heart so I didn't flip out on any of the officers. While I
plan to get this arrest removed from my record, I do say that it's an
experience to remember. To anyone out there involved in illegal
activity, seriously, if this is step one, you do NOT want to see step
two of the justice system.



BTW, as the guys walk by my cell chain-gang style while heading
downtown, one burly dark-skinned guy says to the officer, "Hey, why
y'all got my future wife locked up? Heehee...Don't worry, I'm coming
back for you." I said, "No need. I won't be here." He replies, "Babes,
you never know."



I assertively respond, "Oh, I know. I will not be back here. If you
look for me, you'll be here by yourself." That made me laugh for at
least an hour.