A Leukemia Vision: Who is God?

Dec 21, 2004 is when a doctor told me, "You have Leukemia and it is hitting you like a thunderstorm." I did have a moment of grief, but quickly got over it. What stuck out was this doctor using the word "thunderstorm."

It was part of my Native beliefs and an understanding of my relationship with that particular energy in nature. I lived with them from close interactions through many occurrences I have had with them over the years. I did not have a name for them before I became aware of my Native background. In Native ways, they are the Thunder beings. From the moment of my diagnosis, they were there.

The Leukemia was apparently in its last stages and I thought it was a cold. It was the large lumps appearing very quickly on my body that made me think a little more about it. I did feel a weakness, but this did not alarm my mellow nature. I was told it was the cancerous white cells filling up my lymph nodes. I was apparently at the saturation point with the cancerous white cells overcoming this fragile body.

I was rushed to the hospital, and others were concerned about something. I could not see what the big deal was. I was very calm with what was about to occur. I had gotten my spiritual message of it being my next lesson of whom I was. There was nothing to fear, as it was my leap of faith in self. This was going to be my new medicine to gain in life, as the Native belief would say.

This was a continuation of prior visions I had in previous years up to the recent weeks. I knew I was to experience something extreme, and I had gratefully accepted it. It was to be. With ease, I had opened up my spirit self to see my other places in life and to view what I was going through in other ways.

The intense barrage of chemotherapies was bombarding my body and the transition had begun. If there was an opening in my body, I had a tube in it and new holes were made for more tubes. Because of the chemotherapy, I was going to lose my hair, so I planned on having it cut. I had called my wife and daughters in and we did a ceremony to cut off my long black hair that flowingly traveled down my back. It was braided and covered with prayer ties of various colors as it was being separated. Other colors were added for personal intent.

Prayer ties are a symbol of belief among the Native people. Pinches of tobacco wrapped in small pieces of colored cloth relating to the directions of life. The belief in directions among Native tribes does vary. So, there really is no one way in learning the varied traditions, unless one lived with a tribe of the old red ways. Each traditional way has its purpose. From the first day that I was admitted to the hospital, my other worlds were opening up. Their realities were becoming close to this one.

I was living in many places and my visions were continuing where they had left off through the past years. I would go to the treadmills on the floor for light exercise, dragging my tubes attached to bags of various compositions on a pole with wheels. I would go from one treadmill to the other, but they would quit working. I had attempted to get on the computer in the hospitality room, but it just stopped. I knew I was opening up and these things would happen.

I received a message of thought from a grandmother across the hall that was passing away from her cancer. She was off life support two days now, and it was a worry for the family. When the message was passed to the family, she had left that night.

When the toilet in my room started over flowing I was becoming flustered because I was seeing the little microorganism moving in the water as it flowed across the floor. I was rushed to another room because my body had no immune system at this point. I was becoming a vegetable.

There were many varied-realm occurrences combining with this one and I was slowly moving to the other ones and losing this reality. As I had begun my descent, I was the size of my cells and moving with the chemicals that were there to attack the white cells. Watching as they dissolved the white cells.

I would go to the remains of the white cells and pull out active white cells that got covered before getting dissolved, and threw them in the chemical presence where they would also disintegrate. This went on for some time, but I cannot relate to time as this reality knows it. I would then move to places I had been before.

It is a place I had a vision of in the past and referred to as, "the river of souls." I could see dark reddish human forms as I moved among them in close proximity. This is a place where some are in their confused, disillusioned, or an unknowing state of existence, and where others come to guide them to their awareness. In previous years, I had been taught to move among them and open their passage of light when they were ready to experience the higher self. It was not my choice over them; it was a choice they had to make in seeing past the things they had done to themselves.

BECOMING A REBORN HUMAN.

Drip, Drip, Drip.

The last of the red blood cells emptied into the life lines connected to the chest of Shash. This was his last day in the hospital and his last blood transfusion was being administered. Shash lay there with his blankets pulled over his head and his mind recalling the many occurrences and visions experienced over the past several months since his initial leukemia ordeal. The last of the lines with fused skin became fixtures in his chest and they were finally being taken out.

Months and months of various medications passed thru the lines. When there were no days of use there was a regiment of daily maintenance to keep the lines clear. Western medicine was allowed to mend his body while his spiritual soul traveled and transformed to levels not previously experienced. The pump began beeping to sound the last of the blood cells passing to empty the bag.

As Shash uncovered, he became immediately excited because in front of him was the silver-haired nurse he had not seen since the beginning of his experience. He wondered if would be able to give her thanks because he had not seen her since the beginning of his hospital stay. The silver-haired nurse was one of the gentler ones who would listen to what Shash was experiencing in his visions as they occurred. She also passed on the message for him to the family of the passing grandmother.

The silver-haired nurse spoke to Shash about a grandmother taken off of life-support because her cancer was in its last stages. She could not say who the grandmother was for privacy regulations by the hospital. The family had gotten very concerned about making the right decision because two days had already passed and the grandmother was hanging on in a coma. In Shash's vision of her, he asked the silver-haired nurse to pass on a spiritual message he had gotten and the message was, "She was concerned for her grandchildren and wanted to know if they would be taken care of."

The silver-haired nurse passed on the message to the family and they acknowledged it in the presence of the grandmother in a coma. Later that night, Shash was awakened by the image of an elderly woman in a transition between worlds. He sensed it was the grandmother because she still seemed to have some concern for her grandchildren. Apparently she could see Shash's image because she made a gesture of reacting to something of which she was not familiar. Shash quickly sensed this and cognitively thought of appearing to her with something she was familiar with. Her spirit sense became calm and collected, but not sure of what to do.

Shash could see the intensely luminous passageway she was to take to start her journey. He told her the family would take good care of her grandchildren and it was time for her to move on. Shash slowly moved toward her and guided her into her passageway until he could see other ethereal entities waiting for her at the other end of the wavering spatial dimension. Shash quickly darted out of her passageway and the other entities led her the rest of the way. Then the bridge between dimensions closed and Shash could feel the jolt as he briskly reentered his own body. He was very calm about what he had sensed and drifted back to sleep.

The next day the silver-haired nurse came in to tell Shash the grandmother had passed on in the night and Shash told her what he had experienced from her passing. The silver-haired nurse was very relieved to hear her patient's journey was a good one. This was the last time Shash remembered seeing the silver-haired nurse because his own body was deteriorating from the cancer. His own worlds were unfolding and this reality became a distant thought.

Amazingly, this was his last day and the silver-haired nurse was the kind person to take the last lines out. Shash spoke to her about missing her those past months and tried hard to see her nametag because he could not remember her name. Shash was familiar with her soul essence. For some reason, he could not see the name on her nametag and he finally asked for her name. All she said was, "she is only a grandmother." Shash accepted it as a good thing and they said farewell as Shash left the hospital.

Shash was finally disconnected from western medicine and now seemed to have many things to relearn in this reality. Many things had a different sense, as if he was returning to visit a distant land. Experiencing leukemia was interesting, but the illnesses incurred after the treatments started were an interesting tradeoff. The side affects included viral and bacterial pneumonias, intestinal bacteria's and viruses, fungus and viruses in the lungs, dialysis from kidney failures, and a few other illnesses for which he could not remember the medical terms. Pretty much all the internal organs got wiped and rebooted. This is a more common experience when western medicine is involved--trading one illness for another. Shash did not concern himself with the severities as his spiritual mind saw further than what his material body could handle.

His mind was very different and this world seemed strange in many ways. Many things were the same, but he couldn't see it without sensing the many other worlds he had experienced. The new experiences had changed many things he had previously believed and practiced. The expanding realties had very obscured boundaries and he no longer could see the boundaries between realities. Yet, it was still the beginning of things to come. He was in many ways relearning to be human. Shash had experienced beyond the current linear realm and could not accept things as before without sensing the many directions of any given moment.

Shash went home to recover and things were very slow in his surroundings. His earthly home seemed to be a familiar portal as if he was at a stopping place during his spiritual travels--a place where his awareness entered into a slot of linear time and its presence distinctive in existence. In a few weeks Shash was to facilitate sweat lodges during the Memorial Day weekend. This was to be with a large community of over a 1000 strong gathering for a camping retreat on a wooded 168-acre of private land. Shash took his time when arriving on the land to prepare his sweat lodge site. He was methodical in his motions as if balancing himself between various realities, but there to do healings for a community that practiced a wide variety of beliefs.

Shash set up his campsite and moved to the opposite end of the land where the sweat lodge site was to be. It sat on the southwest edge of a beautiful 12-acre lake surrounded with nature's splendor. Shash felt very calm with the location and enjoyed the wooded land whenever he came to visit this place. He began his three-day cleansing and preparing the site for spiritual use. It very much coincided with his slower sense of movement as the days of preparation progressed. On the third day he sat with his traditional pipe beside the sweat lodge fire pit. Very serene with nature. Shash looked out over the lake and could see numerous snakes begin to float on the surface. Slowly more began to surface and floated with their lengthened dark slender bodies stretched out and moving with the calming ripple of the lake water. They were water moccasins that appeared to be slumbering on the surface of the lake.

Shash silently watched and meditated as the serpents continued to surface. Their bodies in unison with each other. As the moments went by, there appeared to be several hundred water moccasins silently dormant side by side. They filled the surface of the lake water toward the marshy area. It brought unison to natures realms and peace in the air whirling around the sweat lodge site in surrealistic breezes. Shash had never seen so many snakes in one place and it was very serene in his spiritual mind.

He heard a rustling noise next to him and a very young rabbit hopped out of the bushes next to him. Shash watched the young rabbit playfully hop over to the rock pit where the sweat lodge would be and sat in the middle of the pit. This told Shash the sweat lodge site was ready to be used for the community. Shash finished his traditional pipe. All the serpent's magickally disappeared from the water surface and the young rabbit hopped back into the bush.

The sweat lodge frame was put together with willow branches and the fire pit prepared with wood to heat up the grandfather rocks. There was a tipi being set up near the sweat lodge site by two women staying for the weekend festivities. They were a welcome sight adding to the essence of the traditional atmosphere. The sweat lodge was considered the womb of mother earth and all the natural elements took part in this ceremony for healing the community attending. The festivities in the main camping area began. The seeking souls arrived and Shash began his commitment of facilitating the sweat lodges for the Memorial Day weekend.

The sweat lodge ceremonies were very fulfilling for Shash because he needed the ceremonies as much as those attending. He also was very attentive with their purpose in this ceremony. Many came for various reasons and Shash only knew of their worlds and healings incurred by their words of appreciation and changes of healing. Shash accepted all of them and kept his mind with those who were around him for things they were seeking. After the third session Shash went to rest at his campsite and there was plenty of activity around him.

He sat for a moment and closed his eyes. Shash attempted to get up to lay down, but noticed he could not move. He made several attempts to move, but could not do so or even open is eyes. He could hear all the activity around him, but his body seemed to be catatonic. Shash graciously listened to the festive community for a few hours and then he began to have movement in his fingers. Then the rest of his body was able to move. Shash slowly got up and felt very sublime. He moved back to the sweat lodge site where he continued with the sweat lodge ceremonies. Many good things occurred to those who attended and that was all that mattered to Shash.

It was nearly midnight before Shash was done for the day and as everyone left, Shash could again feel his own physical exhaustion. Barely able to move, the two women from the tipi invited him to stay in their tipi for the night. His mind was in a surreal state of being and he visioned a prophetic moment of a weary traveler passing through time and space. The feminine energy mystically sheltered his surroundings and gave him a place to rest before he continued on his journey. The feminine entities cleared a place for him to rest and as soon as he laid down he was in his other dream worlds. For some ethereal sense, Shash could sense the many water moccasins resting next to him outside the tipi canvas. He felt very peaceful with this because this was the energy of nature--a reality where he existed.

Shash got up early the next morning and thanked the two women of kindness. He prepared for the next sweat lodge ceremony, which was even more crowded than the last. Good things were being said about the experiences of the community. By the time the weekend was over Shash had facilitated five sweat lodge ceremonies and he was very grateful for being allowed the moments of healing for the community. Shash prepared to dismantle the sweat lodge sit and looked down at his chest.

He noticed the wounds from the lines recently removed from his chest were gone. They had healed and the only marks visible were those received from his Sundance piercings. Shash gently and flowingly floated away from the sweat lodge site for one last time and noticed the young rabbit hop out of the bushes, again. The young gentle rabbit hopped to the center of where womb was placed. Shash quietly thanked the young rabbit, the water moccasins, nature and the land for allowing the ceremonies and his own healing.

After a short rest Shash traveled to see his Sundance Chief at a Pueblo in New Mexico. Shash counseled with his Sundance Chief on his experiences. Another sweat lodge was arranged for Shash, but this time his Sundance Chief would facilitate. It was a clear summer night on the Pueblo and others came to participate in this sweat lodge ceremony. Those attending quietly entered the sweat lodge and Shash's spiritual mind had opened up as the sweat lodge ceremony began. A throbbing gradually began increasing throughout his body. Shash layed down in the womb as everything around him began to move and the throbbing became intense.

Suddenly his dimension of souls vision engulfed him. Shash immediately recognized it and it was like a continuation of his leukemia experience. He moved through the dark space as the brilliantly bluish-white light reflected off the souls as he passed through their realm. Shash could hear the singing and praying of the participants as the ceremony continued. But he was in another place and his body felt pinned to the ground with the heavy dense throbbing. Intense sharp pains bolted from his chest and in his vision a bright beam of light erupted out of his chest and projected toward an infinite location in front of him. The beam of light emitting from his chest began expanding wider and wider.

During the same moment, Shash could hear loud pounding on the sweat lodge surface, crackling and the rolling thunder of the Thunder Beings. The surrounding energy was very active and as the path grew wider, Shash could see some of the entities passing through the perimeters of darkness into the lighted path. They were transforming their dark energy into spheres of light and traveling down the lighted path to infinity. This was another continuing level Shash had not previously experienced and Shash was overwhelmed with the energies this was expounding.

The ceremony was nearing its end and Shash began attempting to close this opened dimension. He felt he had to do something to close this opening between worlds and continued by moving his hands over his body until the visions gradually diminished. This was a gradual transition and Shash sensed he could not rush it. The sounds outside the sweat lodge grew quiet and as the ceremony ended, the participants calmly exited. Shash shortly thereafter came out once he felt things were put back the way they should be. It was wet outside as if it had just rained, but the sky was clear. Shash was very humble by what he just experienced and thanked the natural energies of life for allowing him to see and further experience existence.

It was a very peaceful night and the next day Shash prepared for the last Sundance he was to attend. Shash had already started getting his spiritual messages about this as his last one and accepted it. Things were very different with his visions and the beliefs changed with experiences of more. The Sundance ceremony grew closer and the energy this ceremony culminates, elevated. Shash was informing his Sundance Chief of the changes he was experiencing and the differentials between himself and the other dancers. Things were enhanced and in his physical body Shash could still feel the weakness. But his strength was there as long as he stayed in his spiritual mind.

The last Sundance of Shash had begun and he could see the broad streams of energy on the grounds of the Sundance arbor. They were like light energy beams coming out of the ground and pulsing skyward and splitting different directions as they gained elevation. The energy streams were continuous throughout the four-day ceremony. Shash could feel some form of separation of his spiritual soul from his physical body as the Sundance ceremony continued and it seemed to make him feel weaker. Shash had to take a rest for a day during the ceremony because he could feel his inner world in turmoil.

The third day of the Sundance ceremony and it was his turn for the ceremonial piercings. Shash's physical body was weak, but it did not matter because he was there for the community. Two 3-inch wooden pegs were pierced in his back and ropes were tied to them. The other end of the rope was seven buffalo skulls he was to pull around the arbor four times. This is when Shash felt a spiritual energy return and transformed into strength for his physical body.

Shash began the journey of pulling the seven buffalo skulls and he could feel the pain exerting from the physical body, but it was the higher sense of where he was drawing energy thru the ceremony. During the second time around the arbor the ground began to heat up. The energy beams were bolstering. This had not occurred during the previously days. The heat escalated and his feet began burning. It got hotter and hotter as Shash continued to pull the seven buffalo skulls around the arbor. It was very draining and it got to where Shash could barely stand.

The last two rounds, two fellow Sun dancers assisted Shash, but they were also having a hard time standing because the ground became too hot to stand on and they were struggling. All the dancers began to feel it and did what they could to stand, but it got too hot and they all began to feel their feet blistering.

The energy was intense, but Shash's spiritual mind plowed on. The tribal community began gathering their moccasins and passed them to the Sun dancers. The fourth round was done and Shash was pulled from the seven buffalo skulls with the children of the community sitting on the seven buffalo skulls. His part of the ceremony was done. The rest of the day the ceremony went on in a better way for all. All the moccasins were returned to the community and the rest of the ceremony continued for the healing of the community.

When the Sundance ceremony was over, the blistered feet of the dancers were also healed. It was a good ceremony and as it ended, Shash could feel his path moving in a different direction. He continued to get messages of separation from what he knew. They continued as the moment went on. He felt sad because this was his last Sundance and he sensed he would not be able to visit again. It was not his desire, but the way other energies were moving around him. Shortly afterwards, Shash returned his traditional pipe to his Sundance Chief. He felt it was his way of preserving tradition as he had previously known it. His Sundance Chief was aware of his writings and was ok with it. This was all that matters to Shash.

clik...clik...shaa.....

The desert land was very warm and barren. Rocky bulges randomly filled the raw elements of surviving life and landscape. There walked a visitor in a small village with sparse remnants of civilization rusting away. During the unfolding of this event there was a sound. clik...clik...shaa... This rhythm sound kept repeating.

The visitor was working with the villagers doing common chores and visiting the villagers under their shades when resting. Repeatedly...clik...clik...shaa...

The villagers offered the visitor a place to rest. It was an old and very small mobile trailer. The visitor sat in the trailer thinking about what he could do. Then suddenly the trailer began moving and the visitor looked out the window to see he was being rolled down a hill to a cliff. The visitor was very confused by this as he thought the villager's were friendly. clik...clik...shaa...

As the trailer got closer the visitor could see the ocean, which was a long drop down this cliff that was speedily growing closer. The visitor sat down bewildered. The trailer began its descent over the cliff. Instantly the visitor stood outside the trailer door and stepped back onto the cliff where the villagers were standing. The visitor was confused as to why they did this. clik...clik...shaa...

Walking thru them the visitor would see individuals with clothes from a different era, and they had cameras. The visitor would go to these people and take their camera to pull out the film in which he had seen images of himself. The visitor continued walking and began motioning with his hands. clik...clik...shaa...

Things began catching on fire. While this was going on the visitor kept asking, why? The visitor went through the village and turned all the structures into flames, fire was growing everywhere. One of the individuals from a different era approached the visitor. He was wearing an old battered suit with tie, round in the face, balding, and a mustache. He picked up a rock and acted like he was throwing it at the visitor. The visitor picked a rock up, also. And waited to see what this battered suite was going to do. clik...clik...shaa...

The visitor continued in burning all things around the battered suit. As the visitor moved through the village it was all flames, but he could still see the villagers standing there. The flames did not seem to bother them, but they seemed to be sad this was happening. The clothing from the other era was not standing among them. Yet, the visitor seemed to be compelled to continue. He was not angry, but could not understand why these things happen when he only wanted to help. clik...clik...shaa...

The visitor began to feel fulfilled and began to rise over the land. He could see the villagers unharmed, but all things around them were surrounded in flames. As the visitor got higher he could see the land further. The visitor waved his hand even more, so the flames could spread further. The visitor was engulfing everything in view. There seemed to be a sense of not letting out the element that attempted to harm him, and it was not anger, but a sense of the way things move. clik...clik...shaa...

The land became further and the visitor could feel time and reality changing. clik...clik...shaa...was now faint in sound as the reality changed and the visitor arrived in another place. What was it going to be like this time? The visitor seems to travel in different directions, but for the moment he is resting.

Joe Palace

copyright 2006

12/13/06

 "This was a recent lucid dream that was intense."

Heyoka Turned!

There was a male native person who visited the Lakota reservations, but he was not himself a Lakota. He was more of Apache and Navajo heritage before his past family had been separated from ancestors during the practiced genocide toward a native culture. He was City-Raised Native looking for roots, learning traditional ways; ways that were familiar from somewhere, ways that he became familiar with from his life ventures, but he knew not from where. Things happened and many were familiar and natural in his way.

City-Raised Native became an urban Sundancer. Once a year for seven years he made a quest to the Badlands for the Lakota ceremony; the Sundance. City-Raised Native experienced many occurrences during the years of this moment. Each year during autumn, the Sundance Chief and Sundancers would go out and search for the perfect cottonwood tree or other water tree, as directed by traditional ways. Then they would prepare for the ceremony. Many things occurred or nothing occurred, depending on where one was.

One particular Sundance, City-Raised Native was allowed to dance in the water dance session. This was the Heyoka (contrary) dance where City-Raised Native got to turn his contrary energy during a tribal ceremony in front of the tribe. But the contrary energy was changing.

There was another local native person who normally danced the water dance position as a Heyoka during this ceremonial Sundance. He grew very upset and became Altar-Ego when it was said that City-Raised Native would be dancing Heyoka in this water dance. Altar-Ego became very vocal to reverse the decision of the elders because he felt that he was supposed to be the Heyoka. The situation became very emotionally and spiritually intense for City-Raised Native.

The water dance started as the Sundancers entered the arbor. City-Raised Native crawled into the sweat lodge to prepare for the water dance. As the moment was moving, thunder could be heard through the tarps. Then City-Raised Native began to feel strangely different as he put on his bear hides and conducted his private ceremony for transition. He began to pant and to feel the surrounding energy. Then he heard sounds of people around the Sundance arbor yelling about three tornados appearing out of the turbulent clouds. Some of the people panicked. Wanting to leave.

The water dance was delayed until the thunder beings did their electrically charged dance. City-Raised Native finally went in to the arbor with this intensity, but sadly enough, Altar-Ego was also there and making it visually known with his disgruntled behavior. City-Raised Native wanted to enjoy this moment. But this darker energy was brought into the arbor, and it made City-Raised Native question it. Is this part of tradition? City-Raised Native was told that only good intentions were supposed to be in the arbor. City-Raised Native thought he was there to do only good things…Questions?

In the traditional way, the Heyoka tempts the Sundancers with water during the dance. When that fails to deter the Sundancers, the spirits are supposed to be thanked. Then the spirit gives something back to the community in return, and in today's way, that gift is candy. But as this water dance went on, the intensity of Altar-Ego hit City-Raised Native. City-Raised Native should, by tradition, be in his state of Heyoka, but the energy was being turned. In ceremony, this type of energy is amplified to confuse the darkness, healing and protecting the people. City-Raised Native was supposed to throw candy to the community during this water dance, but that did not happen. The spirit was not pleased. How can this be? City-Raised Native wanted to do good things for the community, but it was being thwarted. Is tradition saying something or is some thing being said about tradition.

City-Raised Native left the arbor and retreated into the woods to get back. As he changed, his insides were still turning. He was not feeling good. He was becoming very sensitive to changing energies around him. Energies that were familiar to him when moments of being were making sudden shifts that were about to affect human life. The medicine of natures wonders. Yet, it pained him to experience the drastic altering energies when this could have been done in a good way.

As the Sundance continued, Altar-Ego kept making his position known, and thoughts of acting on his resentment began to enter into the minds of the other dancers. Although pettiness began to motivate some of the dancers, City-Raised Native had to fulfill his commitments to this Sundance ceremony. He was led to believe that the Sundance Ceremony was to help take the pains away from the people, to heal them. City-Raised Native practiced this, as it was part of his way. That was the belief that drew him to this moment of space. Dimension of awareness where these places existed in many realms and City-Raised Native was learning the fulfillment of existing. In native ways it has been through spiritual ceremonies of this kind. All beings want it better, but things happen. Act in the moment of what we believe.

The dance ended, and a giveaway was done in front of the tribal community. As gifts were distributed, all the Sundancers were acknowledged except City-Raised Native. City-Raised Native was turned. He moved in bewilderment to a clearing in the field and separated himself from the community. He was turned.

The camp packed up. The thunderclouds that had passed through the camps were now in the east. But then the thunder beings started to circle as they swelled in turbulence. Combining with other thunderheads, they circled the encampment in the Badlands. They came back very quickly, and the camp scurried with activity as the community could see the thunder beings growing. City-Raised Native felt very heavy as he intently watched the people running back and forth like ants. The bluff in the Badlands where this Sundance took place was now surrounded by thunder beings. Many of the people disappeared down the dirt roads to get home. City-Raised Native looked up to gaze at a circular clearing of blue sky that was directly over the camp. Then it happened!

As the black clouds approached the land, engulfing the clearing and filling the air, City-Raised Native felt the great depth of the gathering storm energy. Immediately, the ground of the camp began to be pounded with blinding bolts of energy. City-Raised Native was blinded by the intensity, yet his vision was restored so that he saw more life than ever. He saw that everything had life, and that the thunder beings existed. The energy was massively expansive. City-Raised Native sat there feeling its heaviness, watching it pound around the tents and teepees of those who followed Altar-Ego.

Yet, there were the innocent. The hands of City-Raised Native felt charged and burning when the energy of the thunder beings was close. Then he heard loud voices cry out between the thundering bursts that slammed into the earth. In unison the camp yelled out his name. They yelled out, intently apologizing for their mistake of listening to Altar-Ego and acting so disrespectfully toward City-Raised Native.

Flashing with the thunder beings, City-Raised Native walked out of the field of darkness. He came to their camp; over and over the people apologized to him. They said that they did not want to die, and it sounded strange to City-Raised Native. They seemed to be sure that the broad earth thumping rods of lightning were there for them. The barrage of large blistering energy fields hitting the ground around them did give that impression, but City-Raised Native did not understand why they did things to bring this out. Things could be done in a good way as City-Raised Native was told by tradition.

City-Raised Native had experienced a contrary with an adverse energy of intensity, but he wanted this dance to end in a good way. It was his way of spirit life, but these people did not recognize that in this ceremony until it became dark. The camp group gave City-Raised Native a Pendleton blanket to express their apologies. Then City-Raised Native walked out into the flash-webbing darkness of the field and continued to watch the black clouds engulf the camp area. He held the blanket toward the blackness and expressed the apologies of the people. He asked the energy of the dark turbulent mass and Self to not hurt the people. He felt he had to do something to move the energy flow and bring things back to calmness with nature.

Then City-Raised Native walked back to the camp, seeming to appear suddenly out of darkness and startling the group, who where huddled and very worried. He summoned Follower of Altar-Ego who carried out the wrongful intention, and asked him to follow City-Raised Native to the field. As they walked out, Follower of Altar-Ego kept apologizing because he did not want to die. City-Raised Native was curious of this, and told him that he would not die. They stood in the light-blaring darkness and City-Raised Native told Follower of Altar-Ego that someone still has to be struck to return life in nature. Then City-Raised Native raised his arms toward Follower of Altar-Ego and struck his forehead with his palms. The smacking sound blended with the crashing bolts. City-Raised Native then told Follower of Altar-Ego that he had just been struck and that there is nothing further to worry about. He would be left alone, and he should return to the camp. Follower of Altar-Ego walked back, still a little worried and asking for assurance.

City-Raised Native now noticed that the burning in his palms was gone, and when he looked up at the black formations of nature's fury; they were quiet. City-Raised Native gave thanks to them for not hurting anyone. The blackness began to disperse, and lighter clouds took its place. Rain and lightning continued, but at a distance surrounding the camp. Those comforting sounds could be heard throughout the rest of the night. Natures flowing calmness of all things existing were finally blanketing the land. Traditions were becoming dreams and the dreams wanting to exist. This is where City-Raised Native likes it. It pains him to experience this moment of serenity. Things were finally at peace, for the moment.

Joe Palace
© copyright 2006
10-24-06

There are many occasions of others experiencing something more. But many will not speak of it because there are many willing to discredit anothers experience. I can relate to it because I have experienced the rejection over the things I say. There are the good ones who had kind words and they are the ones that give me hope. I gave talks locally for a short time and only recently came on myspace to speak on this.

Many do believe something, but I get a small perentage of email from those attempting to prove me different by being really belligerent. Humans are soo willing to tear things apart. I really do not know what makes the fearful lash out at those who speak of more. I probably undestand it, but it is not for me to judge. It surely does not change what I usually say because it has been my experiences that I speak of.

There are still many things and messages I have not even said because I cannot get past the surface of what I experienced. Those who believe something more should continue, as it is their path and they will eventually know more. I suppose that is why history has developed seers, shamans, medicine people, healers, and others of sight. But, many have trivialized these areas to delute their true purpose. I do feel many have come to this realm and many have returned because the messages have not been able to unfold.

A good example is a white buffalo calf born last year in a storm.
(Miracle's Second Chance, 8-25-06 / 11-26-06) 
A moment ago it was killed with the strike of lightening. At the time I heard this, the message to pass on was, mankind was not ready or willing to embrace the prophecy for better things this event had brought into this realm. So it was taken back. This is happening in many ways and many can discount it, but it no longer matters.

There may be a period when these events will continue and I surely am not going to say when. I recognize the movement as an observer and like others, all we can do is hope for the better because the messages being brought into this realm are not being heard or acted on in faith of mankind or the self.

Joe Palace
copyright 2007

Reference: http://www.whitebuffalomiracle2.homestead.com/Miracle2_PressArticles.html

Life is interesting.

I have been keeping my inner self in calmness for the last month, every now and then speaking my thoughts. To many, the words only last a day.

I was hoping to write more about my leukemia experiences regarding my spiritual events during that period. For some reason the purpose seemed to shift with the moment. Yes, this was a personal experience and I was hoping to aid in unfolding the possibilities of life after life. But now I wonder.

I hear so many out there with guidelines, rules and words of absolute. Since being reborn I have been attempting to relearn being human, but find the reason less and less important. We all search for answers in life, but look for shortcuts to outdo the other. How can one speak with wisdom when there is no experience of it? I've noticed this quandary many times. For the moment I am human and can only speak my way, as my experience may have been too simple of an answer.

The understanding of our collective self does not seem to be coming thru. Is this why we keep experiencing pain, violence, wars, and other atrocities? This tends to make living this material life less important too me, but more important because it is an extension of my higher self. Something I will not forget as it is where I will return, only because I have already experienced being in these places. This is what I can say from my experience of the moment. I followed no rules or guidelines. In a life of working with the natural energies, I only believed in self and did not fear the transition of death and even then, asked questions of life. I was only willing to stand in my own space and face creation. I wanted to know more of what there was. It might be a period of understanding the elements of human nature.

I am a dreamer and I spend much of my time viewing the places I had experienced in death. Fear drives the many things we do in life. It's amazing; we all get to that moment of transition, yet we fear it. I for one am very much appreciative of having too finally experience it because all through my life it was a question I had. What is death? Family and friends went through it and we constantly watch the media embed its emotions of it. Life for me is very different. The perceptions of the way populations move in the forces of nature is very compelling and I am now only an observer in this life. I can say death is over rated compared too what we return too. Life in our creations. Those who view life recklessly will take it recklessly. I can do nothing about that, but hope they eventually will evolve, as it should be.

In past years I have worked with others whom were passing and most of the time the last fear faced was "the fear of letting go." It is a natural occurrence, but fought by many. We become so entwined with materialism and just think it is unfair to let things go. We search for ways to take our belongings and friends with us, anything too not face death alone. Unaware to many; we are not alone. This linear life is simple in form, but complicated in the choices we make. We are born, live and experience, then die with our knowledge to continue on in other ways. The last part is the illusive because it ventures to our leap of faith in continuing on. We want proof, not understanding we are the proof. Accept the last step because it will happen and from my experience, I'd rather be aware of the transition than be blind to doing this over, again.

Believe in self because it is your soul acknowledging life beyond life.

I am all for individuality, but wanted to at least offer my experience of the many hopes and possibilities in life. I hope for the simple things of life to be understood in what we seek. Our natural course in life with those we love. Nothing more, nothing less.

Why is the message so hard to decipher?

Joe Palace

copyright 2007

  In the beginning of my leukemia experience in December 2004,  I had fully accepted it in a good way. I opened my spirit self to embrace what I was about to go through as I felt it was about to show me new things. Because of this I moved through many levels of awareness where I finally experienced what is referred to as our place of oneness, I call it home because that is what it felt like; a place of all things existing in a moment of our creations. The higher self has changed my perception of this human experience. I do accept the "trying moments" as our periods of transformation between realms of life. The most challenging part has been to re-learn being human after the period of "oneness" experience. In spaces of timeless wonders among many life forms and matters of existence.

  This lasted for approximately 2 weeks while I was in my vegetable state of crossing over. It was all worth it. It was amazing as it was being explained to me thru a voice/sense of what was unfolding and answering the questions I was asking regarding what I was experiencing. One of my questions (2nd time asked, 1st time is another story) asked was, who is god? the basic answer was; "we are all one in our purist level of existence, though we exist in various levels of awareness in evolvement of our creations." As this was being said, I was viewing numerous dimensions of life-times in many ways and was somehow comprehending it. A totally different way of thinking compared to what we are currently familiar with. For now I am only sensing what it was like, until I can return to my higher self, as to experience it one has to be it;
with "oneness."

Joe Palace
© copyright 2006

Bear Medicine:

This is an extension of our relationship with natural life: be it animal, plant, rock, or other natural forms of life on this planet which we are suppose to be the care-takers. There are those who tend to walk thru life with a particular element of nature that has a closer relationship and manifests wonderful events for the individual. This would be another spirit helper to move with you through life's journey. Some recognize this and some do not. The relationship is a mutual respect, not another entity to control. That seems to be mankinds instinct; controlling things instead of respecting them and welcoming their presence.

In the life of Shash, the bear energy has moved with him and has done interesting things to guide in the directions of life. The other element is the energy of the thunderstorms. There are other elements that Shash recognizes, but these are the ones that have been the most interactive, and they do relate to all the other natural things in life. To learn about your sense of what yours could be, understand your nature of habits and approach to life's events. What natural element has similar habits and instincts? Learn about the habits and nature of a particular element, it's look, sound, or feel. The little things with the messages of what you are searching for. They will be very subtle. Especially if you are new at listening to your inner self. So quieting your inner self is also a step to sensing the natural things that surround us. Do not grasp the first thing that comes out. Learn its nature first; is it there to really assist you and learn the better ways of life? Respect it as you would yourself and live your life in harmony with your surroundings.

Shash has had many experiences with this. One of the many moments that stands out is, some years back, he had went to a sweat lodge of another Shaman. When Shash got there, the other Shaman was very sad because his best friend, a golden retriever, had passed away from old age. Earlier that day they just finished burying him in the yard. So the mood was very somber, quietly sad, and the energy of the bear became very strong for Shash while in the sweat lodge. Shash was very sad and it seemed to cause the same reaction with the bear energy as it was an animal relationship. The newly passing energy of the golden retriever was very strong. There were only prayers and recollections said that night in the sweat lodge. Shash felt a very heavy feeling as the sweat lodge ended. He went home, but the strange heavy feeling stayed.

As Shash slept that night, his lucid dreams were of his bear. Like other times, the energy of the bear also had a bear family that resided on their property. The main bear entity began loud callings, then other bear families with their cubs came onto the property. Shash was standing there with them, but not sure why the other bear entities were called. There were now numerous bear entities covering the property. They made a circular clearing in the middle of the property. The bear spirits seemed to form some kind of energy structure where they stood. The cubs of the bear visitors slowly worked their way to the center of the clearing. As this was happening, Shash began feeling very strange as if his own world was going through a transition. He had strong feelings of his female rottweiller in labor. As the bear cubs gathered, the adult bear visitors began making collective moaning sounds, they seemed to vibrate with their sound.

Now seemingly in a half-wake state, Shash started calling out for his kids to check their female rottweiller because he felt she was having puppies. He could hear a puppy yelping as he was waking up. One of the daughters came to him and reminded Shash that their female rottweiller was not pregnant. The yelping sounds could still be heard outside the front door. Shash and his daughters went to look, and as they opened the door there was a golden retriever puppy laying there, just outside the door. Shash then realized the divinity of the dream and what the bear energy was transforming. Shash did have his property fenced because he did raise rottweillers, and they had the run of the land. Shash put a sign up outside the property regarding a lost puppy just in case, but no one claimed it. Shash took the golden retriever puppy to the Shaman and gave it to him. He did tell the Shaman of the dream and how the puppy came to him. All things were thanked and the Shaman accepted the puppy whom is living a long life.

This is one of the very few times when the bear energy manifested something between worlds. Shash does not practice the asking or demanding of things from his spiritual relations, in ceremonies, or other means. He lives among them as relationships of life and all living things around us. When they sense our being and identifying with them then there seems to be a mutual understanding and respect in life. Over the years there has been many interactions, just as friends getting together and sharing a moment. No expectations.

Joe Palace

© copyright 2006