its a sad belief to be stuck at the window
tinted and sound proof I look inside.
I just wish for one minute she could see me wave
but blinded she seems as the double sided mirror lies.
I only think I want the best.
I only think I know its wrong
but as I gaze like a lost unwanted choir
she drifts further away into an abyss of denial.

She thought it was over and with the new day came change.
but it seems that it was all just a fantasy
like a child she gave in with pretty blue naive eyes.

Its a sad relief to be the one that says I told you so
pushed away for a caring argument speech gone wrong.
it turns out she knew the pain was flagrant
but wished the fairy tale soap opera would reward her karma heart

Sudden its always stagnant like water flowing in our dreams
corrupt is how we awake alone and hollow
our pleasure is like dust upon the throne are the angels we left overlooked
All in one were our lies
ashamed we abort birth like the glass we have stained yet unable to break
all in all we crush our numbing pace and all that's left are our jokes
I am the man that gives it all away
self amusing like torture brought forth like a knot left untied causing discomfort
But happy I remain and aborted become our feelings
erased by her bliss that always
leads us to the right place at the right time.

Stirring thoughts into a marinade
unable to question reality from false imprisonment
I somehow sworn myself into.
Gone away so long ago that it hurts
to breathe this polluted air.
spelling like an uneducated mozart
mastering the art of mental decay.

I seen loss
I accepted plain rotted entrapment
I scaled walls that had doorways unlocked
unblocked but my mind had no key to look inside.

In the end like now
I was awake
Never once had eyes open and I hate you for that.
All in all I was married to a pain
an unbalanced way of pleasing the gods.
Go
She wants a halo
also try to save it
for another bastard day.

She always smiles like yesterday's excitement
was never news that embodied me.
Lust nor love could ever fullfill us but could always
allow for our sullen temptation to customize our display of affection.
Loss of life and the lack there of is old and stale,
maybe too plain to see.
Who are we kidding in these days of irradicated lovers.
whom are we kidding to believe this love is the hardest thing.

Never have I not felt like a child in your prescence.
never have I wanted someone as much as I do you.
Have I found a liar within myself
have I yet to find that liar in you
fortunate are the preplanned unworthy little
flirtations cut into wax like paper cuts cant hurt us

Who are we kidding to say this love is nothing more then
an overamplified friendship
Whom are we kidding to think neither of us want more
because lying to ourselves I think is the hardest thing.

moments we go through
time that struggles on
passion and dreams we hope for
are the reasons failure leaves men battered and torn
riches and fortune are things we need to extort
paper product society taught cures
depress me and keep
 hunger fills this relief
never once have I craved death before
confession I could never beat so alone
I must move on making false hope my home

I will not conform
I will not do as told
I will not be expected
to gain what cant be told

tests are given proper
yet challenge never molds
lies are always dishonest
but without the strings we just unfold

honesty means society
cancer cant be cured
live in a world without variety
be taught as a pearl once sold
tampered but never ignored
respect once allowed to be
free and pillowed with hatred
that inside us for some reason we cant be free
our soul chooses a path that entertains
that fact that we need to breath
corrupt without choice we seek freedom
then fail like our fate has foreseen

Life is a test never studied
never were there text books that agreed
lessons we learn
never allowed us to turn
just kept us from reaching our planned destiny

All that we know
is never the puzzle in the form of complete
All that is granted and taken for certain
is mostly hopes and dreams not yet familiar to our understanding

In this box we share only lies we have hidden
in this box we confuse whats real for expired beliefs
in this box we share smiles and mental lapses
in this box we live like we are fake but expect the world to just agree

everything we promise seems to dissolve when we are flying
what comes out of our mouths is our alter egos gaining access to our heads
when its to late we realize we were using propaganda to gain pleasure
the next morning always comes with regret that is always better served cold
guilt is the reason we think then shake our heads in disgust
Anger is the torture that causes sores to form unwanted
then we cry and relive it all again

In this box we share only what is crafted
in this box we confuse with whats right and whats insane
in this box we act like we are the reason life is bogus
in this box we forget we are crafted to turn our heads

Pain reflects life
while being alone feels less exquisite
Lust only begins to allow mental instability
Which in turn is the reason
we reach out for empty handshakes...

Running and hiding
and loosing my breath
hurting and hating excepting
planned death
addicted and faded
drowning in governed debts
shallow our graves
we eventually dug with success
teachers teach teary
eyes cry with
sorrow shamed righteous regret

anger alone
with others bleed red
upon us we die
false prophets
were dead
energy worthy
consumed by the passed
spirits live on causing pain to our trends
this life was stolen
all lies hidden truthful brings demise for sins instilled with our free grins

in the mind we can hide
We can adapt ways of hiding pride
We can sift through ashes of emotional suicide
only choosing the most fitting

I really cant believe your gone!
You were a great aunt
a great mentor
a great co worker
a great God Mother
a great human being
And a Great Friend!!!

I will think of you for the rest of my days on this terrain

see you soon
Dennis Patrick

Life was easy without rules
cops allowed us to be cool
stranger ways only seem right
never thank strangers for good times

This is how it is
we were only kids
but damn were we certified
to get fucked up and make it right every night@!!

Tescho george
Dooley fuckin brutus
Walt even I
were sedated since nine haha
Decarlo jeff taylor
xanies never mattered
oxley kingy in their prime
suficate all thats next in line

Up early again
thinking were I went wrong this time
Its non-stop questions that I reflect in my head
but still cant grasp any answers...

It seems so quiet in the morning
no people yelling
only dogs and birds pestering a certain persons pillow...

A day when I expected something
a simple anything that never came
I was spitting teardrops in full solitude...

but then remembered it was all about
being with those who care
those you want you to be there with comfort for love...

So I thanked them all with chocolate chip kisses
And shrugged off the worry that seems to have made a home in my chest
unwrapping smiles always warms as its a wonderful life replays again...

I will wake again early for days to come
so I can treasure the beauty Dawn has brought
for it is shear admiration for this splendor that abandons memory...

And I must say a morning without meaning is not mourning at all.

People change like seasons
Cancer devours innocence
like tortured mind sores embrace killers

I'm only used as a tool for awhile
Then I fall apart like a Jenga game crumbles
It's all good right?

seasons change only if we don't continue to warm our home
This earth is a home right?

It's only used as a tool then soon will crumble
like a good man's world falls apart after addiction controls his every move

Life, Love, Misfortune
Envy, Greed, Its all part of this cancer called belief


Don't forget to vote :)

Everything that you have worked for
is worth way more then you have paid
All the things that hold their value
are the things that could certainly slip away

To look
To notice
To react
To Change

If Existence
If failure
If pain
Is to blame

Then to realize
Then to dispose of
Then to cast away the shame

Is to hope for
Is to accept that
Is to want
to be born again