I've been sitting here staring at this screen for ages it feels like.  For days all I've been doing is constantly sending out applications and resumes.  Aside from running out into the middle of the yard, falling to my knees and screaming and pleaing for a little help I think I've mostly got the bases covered. You laugh but if only you knew how precariously I am teetering on the edge of sanity.
Uno is uber sick again. So on top of freaking out about a job and money and life in general I'm worried sick over her.  She's stopped being alive mostly.  She won't eat, she won't go out nad go to the bathroom.  I can't make her play and the words 'car ride' no longer make her fluffy little ears prick up and her nubbin wag. I know its not the mange anymore but I'm at a loss for what to do for her. I think there is some underlying disease that is causingthe problem but hell, I can't afford to fix that either.  That only really leaves one option......
Hmmm for my current mood go read Audrey's blog, she summed it up perfectly. I couldn't have spit out the words any better had I sit and pondered for ages.
Ok, yea, that's enough emo for now.
Cheers

Ok so I'm moving home this weekend.  Thats cool and all.

Downfall of the week, today was pay day. Yay right? Um no.  I got paid enough to pay half my months rent, put $10 gas in my car in the morning and pray that makes the gas light go off.  The downfall is of course that I have $30 to put gas in a truck to come get my horse and take her home and go to Tennessee to get my dog.  I'm royally fucked.  I can't do this, can't pay to have my life start over. 

 

Fuck Fuck Fuck

 

Bad times, come on now all I need is one damn break, just one little patch of yay ok life is gonna be good.

 

If anyone knows anywhere hiring please please let me know ASAP. I need employment badly.  HELP ME PLEASE, I will buy you cookies, well once I can afford cookies

 

Things are going well.  I absolutely love the fact that I can say that. It's been a long time since I've been optimistic about what's happening. And it feels pretty damn awesome.

A week from today and I'll be home again.  I wasn't sure how I'd feel about that but I've come to accept that it's a good change.  I've had 2 years away and in that time I've learned a lot, and grew a lot. Things started to make sense and fall into place. My mom and I never really got along when I was growing up and in the last 2 years, as terrible as they may have been on either part, I think (and hope) that we managed to work those kinks out.  It was a bad way to go but it needed to happen I think for us to realize who we both needed to become. Hopefully this time around we can manage to get along without wanting to strangle one another.  I'm thinking we can. :)

I'm excited about this fresh start.  I'm glad to know I'm in charge of my life this time around.  Get a new job, get on my feet, go back to school and do something. I've had my share of the day to day work and exhaustion and I know what I want to do this time. Armed with that knowledge I can finally move forward.

I'm moving my horse back home.  Yay trails.  mucho excited (sorry zee, i had to) about that.  I'm getting my dog back so I can start her training again.  I'm making new friends (hi if you're reading this new friends!) I'm making some changes for me too, yay there as well.  good old exercise program, new hair (cut and color soon) and a new attitude towards most things. 

Ok now that I've rambled on in this happy little existance of a blog I'm going to bed.

G'nite all

 

So basically I'm kinda all over the place these days.  In less than 2 months my life as I knew it is gone.  Everything I had and knew is gone.  I've been trying to grab at something that isn't there.  The more I claw the more sand slips through my fingers.  The ground is giving way beneath my feet.  My friends are gone, most of my family is gone now as well.  And of course its time for another change, hopefully this time for the better.

The middle of next month I will be moving back home. Yes thats right folks, back to good old Corydon.  In my own way its my choice but of course that choice was brought on by circumstances that I could not control.  I'm starting back at square 1. Thats not necesarily a bad thing but I'm hoping that this time around I can manage to make something out of it, make a better start for myself.  So those of you that actually read this yay for you.  give me a ring or send me a message, because I need new friends and a new start.  So how about you help me out nad try to give me one?

Otherwise I'm just biding my time here, trying to get things lined out to where I can get my life on the straight and narrow again.

But for now I'm off to Corydon for the day to the ever so wonderful Light Up festivities.  Woot

 

Cheers!

Well as the title suggests these are moving items and I am moving.  It's that time again, and to me it sucks but in this town I've stayed longer than most.

Dan got a fantastic job offer at Ft Campbell and will be moving to Tennessee at the end of the month.  I however cannot afford to move into a new town without any sort of promise of a job so I will be staying in the area.  I'm going to meet a girl on Thursday that's a possible roommate option.  She's army too but at least she and her hubby own the house so there isn't the whole "pack your shit we're leaving tomorrow" surprise.  I dunno what's gonna happen from that point on, the plan is to get some money built up and then hopefully be able to make the decision to stay or go or maybe even go back home.  So its safe to say right now that my life is up in the air and I've no parachute at the moment.

On a cheerier note I found a small useful kinda trail thing through a field to ride on.  It is however very small and it comes out on a part of the highway that even crazy old me won't ride on, and that's saying something! Plus I got my special new happy pretty saddle.  My horse isn't so happy about this however, she was much happier when we were just barebacking around.  She's also highly fat because i Had little time to ride lately, plus with a leg injury that had her joints stiff for awhile itwas nearly impossible to make it work.  So now she's all good again, except her feeties, those need to be trimmed again (Note to self: Call farrier!)

I'm working at the thrift store on base right now and I absolutely love it.  I love the people that I work with and several of the customers.  Plus I get all kinds of good loot.  There's lots of treasures that come in and never make it much further into the store than the back  seat of the durango.  Its decent pay plus fantastic hours.  and best of all, free insurance.  Woot. Base jobs are hardt o get but everyone in town wants one.  Kudos to me!

Dan and I went to Squire Boone on Sunday (pics can be seen here).  Stephanie is an excelent tour guide by the way.  I went as a kid and the cave seemed so huge and big and scary and this time it was kinda all small and disappointing.  But if you want a good littlehistory tour kinda thing then I highly recommend going and listening to Steph spins the tales of the cave.  Sad times though, we didn't get to see any man eating cave monsters as the vampire lair was blocked off.  They were prolly having a party back there we weren't invited too ;p

Friday night we invested in some good old fashioned spontineity by kidnapping Zara and heading out for a fun filled night of glowbowling. (Pics can also be seen here) We tried to drag Lorna along but she was being all sad and stuff and Pascalle was immersed in a family thing.  So we took our measly number of 3 and hit the lanes.  And do I ever mean hit them, we bombed.  As a 3 person team we collectively sucked.  I think the highest personal score I had was an 84, an embarrassingly low number I will admit.  But we had fun and thats all that matters right? Well it was alearning experience, I learned never to bet on Zara in the bowling championships ;p

Other than that it was a fairly uneventful few days.  All thats left now is to pack pack pack.  Yay fun!

Well like everyone else I'm gonna make a big deal out of the earthquake.  I was sitting in my newly acquired papasan chatting online and I heard the air conditioner start rattling.  My first thought was that it was getting windy like a storm was gonnahappen.  The rattling went on about a minute, it was kinda quiet so I thought that maybe they were firing tanks bt the time wasn't right.  Well I sat in my chair and kept typing with my feet propped on the coffee table and then the coffee table jumped a couple inches off the floor and the whole freaking house rocked.  Then the news started reporting it was a 5.4 quake.  So I woke Dan up and he slept right through it.  Not me though I was wide awake through it.  That's the sencond one I've felt there was one a few years ago.  But that about covers it, just thought I'd update ya'll on the excitement.

Well we went to West Virginia today.  Picked up a horse trialer for Zara.  Sad thing is we made it back by 2:30 om.  Lol there and back in under half a day.  Not to shabby.  Granted the night before we went out and visited lorna so we got little next to no sleep, that was on the other hand the downfall.  Sleeping in the truck didn't go over so well either too many bumps, not enough room.  It was also really freaking cold in West Virginia. It got a lot cold as the day and the trip went on, not the other way around which I would have preferred.

I'll be glad when it warms back up.  Got use to going out and riding my horse last week when it was nice out.  Rode on friday and when we got back my horse was actually really sweaty.  LoL it was exciting.  If the rain would hold off until high summer when we need it i'd be quite a bit happier too.  Its too squishy to do too much.  Found a new place to ride out at Tonia's its nothing special just an open field with a creek running alonside it, but it sure does beat riding down the roads.

I think that pretty much covers it, just had one of those urges to update you folks.

 

Hello once more my faithful readers! It’s been a while so I thought I would write something just for the heck of it.

We have a competition this weekend.  Once more we are struggling to get things in line for it.  Amongst the faulty equipment and lack of finances things aren’t running very smoothly :/ so we will see where it leads us.  Dan will be competing but we’re still trying to find out what I will be doing.

On another note my horse is getting fat and happy out at Tonia’s.  She’s got cows and horses and 80 acres of lush fields to run.  When I first took her out there the first week or so I could not catch her for anything, she was having way too much fun.  Now she’s still stubborn but when the others come running she can’t help but follow. 

Our lease is up at the end of this month.  It’s hard to believe that we’ve been here for a year now.  Sometimes it seems like we’ve been here forever and others its like we just got here.  We’re not sure what we’re doing yet but I hope we move to a rental house or sometihng.  LOL. We’ve already outgrown this place with our stuff.  We’ve looked at some houses to buy but nothing so far has fit both our needs as well as our price range.

I am trying to go back to school.  I put in my application the other day and for now I am trying to get all of my transcri[ts and testing results together.  Also applying for finanacial aid, can’t go back on my salary on its own.  So we’ll see what happens.  I really hated school the first time around and made a huge mess of it so I hope this time around will go better. 

Ok I think that covers most of the basics for now.  If you read this leave me some love folks!

...is by no means even moderatly overexaggerated.  We went up there for the weekend and holy cow it was crazy! On so many different levels.  We drove up Friday night after we both got off work.  Took about 6 hours to get there and when we got there we ended up in downtown Chicago and I freaked out driving.  I had to pull over and let Dan drive, every time a car flew up on me all I could think of was the wreck.  So after that switch we got to the hotel and crashed for the night.  Got up early the next morning and went to see the river dyed.  And i will admit to being a nerd but seeing them dye the river was pretty dang cool.  We got there super early to beat the crowd and there were still people,everywhere.  We met a really nice couple from Georgia and had a good time laughing and talking with them.  After the river extravaganza was over it was off to the parade which I am sad to say we did not get to see.  As soon as the river was over everyone else headed to the parade.  it was 10 deep from the street back so it was impossible to see anything.  So we headed off all sad and disappointed with that turn of events and discovered the scheduled festivities were over. So we did the tourist thing and did some shopping and lots of picture taking.  We went up the Sears Tower and saw the whole city from a considerable altitude.  The elevator ride was a bit unnerving but we arrived at the top (and back to the bottom) unscathed.  i fed the pigeons and bazillions more flocked from no where at the first mention of food, it was a little like the Birds.  Hmmm what else, ate a bowl of soup only the bowl was made of bread.  Overall though it was a pretty amazing weekend.  But for now folks it’s off to bed, if you’d like more details send me a message otherwise I may post more later.

buenos noches

Once more things have changed for me.  I'm now working at the Tractor Supply in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Elizabethtown.  And I can honestly say that I love it.  I've never been able to say that about any other job I've had, but this one I can.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that the people that come in there are my kind of people.  In this town the main population is all army guys that have big huge SUVs with big huge rims and really loud systems.  Don't get me wrong that's all well and good but when they ask me what the heck kind of fashion statement I'm trying to make when I put on my dirty jeans and muck boots instead of the instant reaction of "Have fun riding!" it kinda kills my spirit.  But when I'm at TSC my hick accent comes out and I can sit and shoot the shit and they know what I'm talking about.  It's amazing on a number of levels.  For example this old guy came in last week with his wife.  Well she went moseying off to browse and he sat up there and started talking to me.  He was going off about the young people today and all this and I chimed in and he literally shut up, his mouth kinda gapped open and he just stared.  I told him I'd grown up on a farm and I knew exactly what he was talking about.  I'd grown up in the environment where I was out in the hay fields pitching hay with the guys.  And after that we just sat there talking for about an hour.  Pretty crazy stuff huh?

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I also moved my horse to another barn on Friday.  The conditions are a lot better.  This place is over 100 acres and its all covered in grass still.  No more standing in mud lots and not having enough to eat.  The board is less than half of what I was paying in Brandenburg and the conditions are a lot better.  I went out there the other night and rode Whiskey and when we got back I fed her and let her stand there eating and I just sat there with her listening to her chewing and the sounds.  I heard coyotes in the woods yipping at each other and there were cows mooing in the background and horses snorting.  I looked up and there was a tree line silhouette and stars.  There were hundreds of stars.  I just started crying my eyes out; it was the closest I've come to home since I left it.  I don't regret leaving home, I regret the way it happened and that I don't have that anymore but I don't wish it would have been any different.