Today I saw a bumper sticker that said "Proud Parent of an Autistic Child" and immediately wondered what kind of response this is supposed to invoke. For me, I just got pissed. Why you ask; let me explain.

I fucking hate when people are proud of shit they have no control over. Pride should be reserved for accomplishments or an example of proven superiority. When some douche bag is proud to be American, for example, that's just dumb. Being American isn't an accomplishment, it's a coincidence. And if you're proud for the superiority reason, well, you're just an ass. When people are proud of dumb shit like this, it's just their way of making up for their inadequacies.

This woman had no control over her kid being autistic, and the thing certainly isn't superior as far as the ideal human is concerned. I think if you read between the lines, the message this person was trying to convey with this bumper sticker was, "look how special I am because I'm OK with the fact that my kid is messed up."

I think if she wants a bumper sticker that would make sense, it should read "Proud parent of an autistic child that can tie its own shoes."

First of all, if you don't have a Twitter account yet, you might as well go make one now because you're going to have one eventually anyway.

Second, just in case some people out there don't think I'm the most interesting thing that walks on 2 legs, I've decided to bribe people to follow me on Twitter. If I can get 100 followers by the end of May, I'm going to select one of my followers at random and you will win one of the following (you choose):

1. 8GB iPod Nano
2. Nintendo DS
3. 4 hour make-out session with me while I wear nothing but a trash bag

Also, make sure you're using Twitter on your mobile device. There are a ton of apps for smart phones or you can just send and receive tweets via SMS.

twitter.com/tscharf

A bunch of people have been asking me about the movie so I figured I'd go ahead and post my thoughts:

This movie is not Excellent, but it is very good and definitely worth seeing. You don't have to be a comic book fan or a nerd to enjoy this movie. Wolverine is an awesome character and we all know from the previous three X-Men movies, Hugh Jackmann was born to play this character.

My Gripes: This movie was not what I expected. I was really hoping for a deeper, darker movie. For the most part, it is just a fast-paced action flick, so don't expect a Dark Knight type movie. I think if they would have added about 30 more minutes of story, refined some of the cheesy dialogue, and made this movie a little darker, it could have rivaled The Dark Knight because in my opinion Wolverine is a much more interesting character.

All-in-all, I think we can just chalk this one up as a good summer action flick (even though it's not officially summer yet).

Have you ever wondered: "who the fuck is Joe?"

I have...

 

Jessica Alba: Bill O'Reilly Is 'Kind of an A-hole':

Jessica Alba [photos] refused to give Bill O'Reilly a shout-out from the red carpet of a party in Washington, D.C. this week.

When asked by a reporter for Fox News' 'The O'Reilly Factor' if she had any words for Bill O'Reilly, the host of the show, Alba replied: "No, he's kind of an... kind of an a-hole. A little bit."

"How so?," she was asked.

"I don't know how he does it... maybe he was born that way," she said smiling.

When pressed for an example of O'Reilly's bad behavior, Alba replied: "Um, no. Then that means I'm admitting I actually watched Fox."

As for Alba's comments, O'Reilly simply said he believed: "Miss Alba is misguided and would benefit greatly if she actually did watch The Factor."

Alba must have been on an Obama inauguration week high because in a separate interview at the same event, when asked if she had any parting words for George Bush, she said she did have one word: "Goodbye."

See video of the segment below:

Saw this for the first time today... and it's cool.

It's not enough to just simply be a D-bag, you've gotta let the people around you know, so I've assembled a simple guide to douchery. The easiest way to express your doucheness is with a baseball cap. You can use any of the following tactics by itself if you're just looking to add a subtle douchy touch to your appearance, or you can combine 2 or more for maximum effect.

1. leave the bill of the hat perfectly straight

2. leave the holographic/shiny sticker on the bill of the hat

3. wear the hat at an angle other than forwards or backwards

4. don't pull the hat all the way on to your head, just let it rest there

The preferred brands to pull this off are Hurley and Famous, but any ball cap will do.

Now that today is officially the last day of 2008, I guess it's safe to run through my favorite movies of the year. It was a good year for movies, I was able to see just about everything I wanted to see in the theater, and most everything I saw was good, but a handful stood out above the rest, so without further ado, I give you my top 5 movies of 2008...

5. Definitely, Maybe
Ryan Reynolds is awesome and this movie is just flippin' cute.


4. Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Kevin Smith pulled out all the stops on this one. If you thought Clerks 2 was offensive, wait till you see this one. It wasn't as good as Clerks 2, but I definitely laughed my ass off.



3. Iron Man
Probably my favorite superhero movie on the cool-factor scale, and RDJ was born to play the part of Tony Stark.




2.The Dark Knight
I don't think this one needs an explanation.




1. Wall-E
Clever, funny, and most of all CUTE. I had to wear a tampon for a month after seeing this movie.



Honorable Mentions:
Kung Fu Panda
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

I can't wait to say goodbye to 2008. It was a shitty year for myself and many, but 2009 is already looking to be a good year, mainly because of all the awesome movies that will be coming out. I've already got the first half of my year planned out:

Jan 23rd - Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Feb 6th - Push

Mar 6th - Watchmen

May 1st - X-Men Origins: Wolverine

May 8th - Star Trek

May 22nd - Terminator: Salvation

Jun 6th - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

July 17th - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince


It's good to be a geek.

So I've had a facebook account for a while, but until recently I avoided using it because, well... Facebook sucks donkey balls. Unfortunately it seems like more people are using facebook lately, or are at least more active on facebook, so since I'm such a whore, I am forced to use that abomination of a service.

I don't want to use two social networking sites that essentially do the same thing; I would love to see facebook go the way of VHS, or HD-DVD.

Aside from facebook's in-window chat feature, there is not a single thing that it does better than myspace. I am challenging anyone right now to tell me why facebook is better than myspace so I can tell you how you are wrong.

Go...