"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." -- Mother Teresa

 Dear Bitchy Lady At Animal Control:

Look, I get it. I bet you deal with buckets of Stupid all day long. I get it. I really do. I can only imagine the level of idiocy you must hear over the phone on a daily basis. So, I get it. Now, that being said if someone is trying to give you detailed directions as to the location of a lost, scared Pitbull who's clearly recently given birth LET THEM EFFING FINISH GIVING YOU THE DIRECTIONS BEFORE YOU JUMP THEIR SHIT AND DEMAND "NORTH. EAST. SOUTH. WEST. GIVE ME A LITTLE DIRECTION HERE."

You see when you interrupt someone who has just given you the crossroads of two separate intersections to try to give you a sense of what alley the lost Pitbull is located in USE YOUR EFFING EARS and you'll see that the two roads I JUST SAID TO YOU ONLY INTERSECT IN ONE EFFING LOCATION IN TUCSON, AZ. ONLY ONE. ONE. For an example River & Campbell only meet once in the entire city of Tucson. And I think you'll find that this is a common occurrence for most streets. They only intersect ONCE. So, if I say "The Pitbull is in the alley between the intersection of Bentley & Blah Blah Blah AND the intersection of Yada yada & Blah Blah Blah I'm not trying to take you on a guided tour of historic neighborhoods, I'M TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT THE DOG IS BETWEEN THOSE EXACT CROSSROADS IN AN ALLEY BETWEEN THEM.

So, when you jump my shit and demand something of me I am going to inform you that there's absolutely no reason to rudely interrupt me and then I'm going to inform you that if you'd LISTEN to me I'm giving you directions to the EXACT location of the dog. Then when you back down and start kissing my ass I'm going to think you're an idiot. Which I do. Which is what happened.  I think you're an incompetent government worker who's paycheck comes from a combination of my tax dollars and my dog licensing fees and that drives me crazy. And I also think that when I call you to give you exact directions to the exact location of a dog that neither I nor my boyfriend can get close enough to to grab you should shut your mouth and listen and perhaps even, oh I don't know, WRITE DOWN what I'm saying and then *poof* through the magic of logic and reason you'll see that the two sets of crossroads I've given you are just about as exact as I can possibly get. So, next time shut the fuck up and listen the first time and the world will be your oyster.

- Stephanie

Dear Person Who's Yard Mike Parked Next To:

Weed your $#@&ing Foxtails. They hurt when they stab people in the leg or stick in their pajama bottoms, they're dangerous for animals and they make your yard look like #$^*. Weed your yard. If you can't weed your yard, hire someone. If you can't hire someone then make your kids do it. If you don't have kids and you can't hire anyone then find a goat. Unless of course the house you live in is a rental, in that case please ask your landlord (<-- it's so funny to me that people never complain about having someone "lord" over their "land." After all it sounds so feudal.) to do something about the @#$%ing Foxtails.

- Stephanie

Dear Nice Woman With The Dog With The Funky Ears:

Thank you for trying to help Mike and I convince the scared Pitbull to come closer while putting both yourself and your dog at risk. I wouldn't have bravely marched right up to a strange dog with one of my dogs in tow but you did and it helped us convince her to not bolt out onto Country Club. Which if nothing else kept her alive for a few more hours while we all waited in vain for Animal Control to do us a favor and swing on by. I'm not sure why we all convened together at that exact time to spend an hour trying to convince a dog to trust one of us enough to get a leash around her neck but there we were and you were the only human being who saw what we were doing and thought "I should help." Thank you for that.

Dear Grey & White Pitbull That Had Clearly Given Birth Recently:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that some asshole took you home and thought it would be a great idea to get you knocked up (because Tucson needs more Pitbull puppies ever so much) and then not feed you enough and then couldn't be bothered to put a collar on you, much less one with tags. And couldn't make sure you were safe and secure inside somewhere so that you didn't wander off. I'm sorry that everyone else who saw you running around in traffic couldn't be bothered to slow down for you much less stop. I'm sorry that you were so scared you wouldn't let any of the three people who were trying to help you come near you. I'm also sorry that the only emergency wet food we had on hand was cat food, but the last stray dog got our last can of dog food. You didn't seem to mind too much, in fact, Mike and I were afraid you'd eat the can, but you didn't thank you for that. I'm sorry that we had to give up after an hour but we were afraid if we kept following you you'd dart into traffic on a major road, and since you seemed to have no concept of cars we thought that was a bad idea. We tried to set it up so that you'd be trapped in that alley but then those stupid guys in the car who were pretending to be hard core needed to get down the alley and our hands were tied. I'm sorry that animal control in this town is a joke and I'm sorry for whatever happened to you once we left. We came back an hour later and couldn't find you. We tried calling animal control a few more times before we left but finally they admitted that there wasn't much of a chance that they'd get out to us THAT DAY. I wish that horrible woman on the phone had told me that in the first place but she couldn't be bothered. So, I'm sorry little Pitbull. I wish we could have gotten you on a leash. I wish you hadn't been so scared. I wish that people would spay and/or neuter their animals but people are lazy idiots (or worse opportunistic idiots that think they can make a few hundred dollars off dogs like you) and they don't and I'm sorry for whatever ended up happening to you but I'm hoping that maybe you found your way home somehow because Mike and I drove through that area of town a half dozen times that night and didn't see you laying on the side of the road somewhere so I hope somehow it all ended up working out for you...

- Stephanie

Dear City Of Tucson:

YOU NEED MORE STAFF AT ANIMAL CONTROL AND YOU NEED MORE VEHICLES AT ANIMAL CONTROL! IT'S HORRIBLE THAT YOU CAN HAVE THREE PEOPLE CALLING ABOUT A STRAY DOG, KNOW IT'S EXACT LOCATION, KNOW THAT IT NEEDS MEDICAL ASSISTANCE AND YET NO ONE CAN GET OUT THERE THAT DAY!!! And I get that it's all about money, and I get that it's all about political bullshit but look, I hate that I have to pay taxes for schools and nonsense for children when I'm never having children, and if I did I'd pay for their schooling I wouldn't expect someone else to swing it for me SO here's my idea, we need a way to let people choose where their tax dollars go. A limited series of choices is what I propose so that say someone like me can select to send her tax dollars to animal control instead of some local public school. Or someone else could send her money to the local police department. Like I said it would be limited and it would maybe allow people to vote (see how democratic does that sound, people would eat that crap up) with their wallets for the things they think are most important and while I couldn't possibly care less that someone who's got six little belly fruits running around wants a free education for each one, I care a great deal about the fact that even with three totally competent people doing their best for a stray dog who needs help,they lacked the proper tools to capture said stray dog, so they did the right thing and reached out for help and in turn received absolutely no help from the government agency whose job is to help in exactly that type of situation. You need more vehicles, you need more people and you need to put someone else on those dispatch phones because damn. *shakes head*

- Stephanie

"Brevity is the soul of wit" -- Polonius, Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

Before October started I told Mike that in the spirit of Halloween I was going to do one thing every day that scared me. I hoped that most of these things would be Halloween-ish or paranormal in nature but I wasn't limiting myself to those two categories. Which is nice because yesterday I dealt with something scary that had nothing to do with ghosts or monsters. At least not the kind I prefer.

The day started out nicely enough... Mike and I worked on some decorations at his house and then after a little therapy (not the couples kind) we ended up at my house with Mike putting up Halloween lights and me playing and eventually finishing Professor Layton & The Diabolical Box. Mike did a great job on his first day of decorating and we decided to take a break to drive to the local Halloween store (both of which aren't very impressive this year, stupid economy) to pick up some more C7s. After Mike bought their entire stock in black lights we decided to return to his house and relax for a little while before we went back to my house so Mike could put up more lights.

I wasn't feeling very good. I haven't been lately. It's time for me to go back and get some tests and see some doctors but you see my family, in a display of their care and compassion for my multitude of health issues canceled my health insurance on a whim. I know, heartwarming isn't it? It's like a hug wrapped in a panda. Anyway, not having insurance and being sick is a pain in the ass. A huge one. And even if you can pay for your tests, you're still going to run into all sorts of red tape and nonsense, which turns a simple problem into a two week adventure in bureaucracy. It's awful and the next person who says to me that we don't need health care reform is getting punched in the teeth. I actually said this to my therapist and said "So, that way when I get arrested you can bail me out." Her reply "Pfft, I'll be right there next to you." See, that's why she's my therapist. Anyway, I'm sick and I'm not getting better as quickly as I should be because of my family.

So, Mike and I are driving home and I'm not feeling good and I'm dizzy and we're talking about maybe not going back out tonight so I can rest at home when suddenly as Mike is merging into a lane behind another car at a nice, safe distance this shitty looking white mustang floors it and comes over on us to jimmy his way in between Mike and the car in front of us. If Mike hadn't been paying attention, if he'd looked away for a split second for any reason we'd have been in at least a three car accident. At least. And by the by, was it just me or was there an inordinate amount of stupid in the air yesterday? Every intersection we went through seemed to be in the middle of cleaning up an accident of some sort. And everyone seemed to be driving badly. It was weird. But, back to our stupid mustang friend...

Of course Mike laid on the horn and the car in front of the Mustang jammed on its brakes, in what I'm guessing was a bad decision based on panic, and that's them the Mustang decided to dart across a few lanes of traffic to escape the scary horn monster. And while doing so they almost caused a second accident. It was actually pretty scary and I was shaking because of it, thanks to my adrenal glands which like to go into overdrive any chance they get. Mike on the other hand was livid. I mean I was scared and angry but Mike was murderous. I could feel it, it was way overloading my circuits. Of course, I was also feeling the fear pouring off the other cars around us. It was just a bad, bad scene and it was all caused by two little bitchass tools who thought they were badasses in a shitty looking Mustang. They were even wearing sunglasses. At night. Idiots.

Well, before I could gather my thoughts Mike was on top of them. He told me to put on my "better glasses" and write down their license plate. (Remember I have two pairs because neither prescription is quite right for me because no eye "doctor" I've been to so far will actually listen to me, so one is good enough and the other is overkill, I only use overkill for seeing tiny details far away at night, basically it's like I own a pair of adorable Coach binoculars.) They seemed a little panicked at this point and started trying to get away from the big scary truck but, and when I say this I'm not just saying this because I'm mad, the driver of this Mustang was the worst kind of driver, cocky, aggressive and terrible. He almost clipped the curb, then he almost bumped into another car, it was awful but should we call the police? We were undecided. After all we've called 911 a time or two in our lives and usually it results in a big fat goose egg. Like the time my car got shot at and they took forever to respond and then the cop they sent couldn't find THE ONLY BLACK BMW M3 in the not very crowded parking lot, even though it was under a light AND WAS EXACTLY WHERE I TOLD THE OPERATOR IT WOULD BE LOCATED. Or the time we saw a drunk driver almost smash into a minivan full of children on a Friday night on Speedway and I was put on hold and then told not to follow the vehicle because I might cause a problem. In fact, as far as I'm concerned 911 is a joke. (Thank you Public Enemy)

So, Mike and I debated the merits of calling 911 while Mike followed behind the dumbasses who tried to "trick" us a few times by slowing down and changing lanes. (Yes, because a very tall truck would never be able to see BEHIND IT or AROUND IT you fucking idiots.) And then we pulled towards a light and they quciklydartedintotheotherlane... And since we were following them at a safe enough distance, we just glided over behind them, while leaving enough space to escape should they do something stupid. But, having been sizing them up for a little bit we assumed that while they thought they were big and bad they were actually wussies and we'd be fine. You know the type, the kind of guy who would run his mouth about what he would do and who's ass he would kick but he's never actually done anything in his life because act like an idiot. The kind of guys who've been raised on Eminem and bad MTV shows, who are going to knock up a bunch of equally stupid women in their lifetime and spawn a new generation of low IQed bastards, who will one day rob someone you know. Ahhh, circle of life. Anyhoo, they just ducked down in their seats and waited until the light changed. That's when they really tried to trick us by changing lanes in the middle of the intersection... *looks around*

By this point, I had my "better glasses" on and my cell phone open. I asked Mike to catch up to them one more time so I could get their plate on file and then we could drive for a little bit to ensure that they weren't following us and we could go home and forget about them. This was when they suddenly turned up a road. Uh-oh, there was no way we could keep up with such... Oh wait, there was. Mike put on his signal and followed. *shakes head* Idiots. They sped up a little, darted in front of another car and that's when we backed off a little. By now we were debating how old they were I was guessing about 18/19, Mike thought 20/21 and I said "Do you think they could be stupid enough to go home?" Mike wasn't sure. I began hoping that they were actually in fact that stupid, because if they were teens and they went home I was planning on contacting the non-emergency police line with their address. But, first we needed that plate number to be sure. So, after they took more evasive manuvers to get away from us by which I mean, they cut off a car, who then turned down a side street five seconds later, we caught up to them. I wrote down the plate and sent it to Mike's Cell so we'd have a copy on each phone and that's when they turned. That was also when I turned to Mike and said "My God, they are that stupid!"

We got into the turn lane and waited. Mike said "Should we follow them?" "I don't see why not, I mean they're idiots, hopefully we can see them pull into a driveway and then jot that down." "Okay, so what if they stop or pull over on the side of the road?" "Eh, just drive past them, if they follow us we can drive to a police station." "Okay, it looks like they're driving still..." And with that we turned. And followed a little further, which was when they pulled over to the side of the road. Okay, well so much for my "find out where they live" idea. And that was when my confrontational side kicked in. Yeah, I know. It wasn't very smart but I'm typing this aren't I? So, my instincts about how stupid and wussy-like they were was right, wasn't it? But, I'm getting ahead of my self... Here's what happened next.

They pulled off to the side of the road. I cracked my window as we drove towards them. Again, this wasn't very wise. But, I never claimed to be a wise wizard on the mountain who's risen above petty things like anger. Far from it. In fact, like I've always said if I was a boy, I'd have been in jail many a time for fights by now. But, I'm a girl and ladies don't get into fights. No. They shouts things out windows. *looks around* I leaned towards my barely open window and shouted "YOU DRIVE LIKE SHIT BITCH." Now, of all the things I could have shouted I chose this short refrain for two reasons. One, it wasn't like I was going to have much time to make my point and Two, I knew that calling this guy a bitch would be the penultimate insult to him, I mean, I'm pretty sure calling him something that would imply he was gay would have worked just as well but insults like that just aren't my thing. Besides, calling him a bitch felt so right. And as for me having sized him up as a pu... wussy, was dead on and here's why.

Me: "YOU DRIVE LIKE SHIT BITCH" *tick tock tick tock* *Truck driving away* *tick tock tick tock*

Him: "WHAT MOTHERFUCKER?!"

See, here's the thing. I grew up being called names, horrible, mean names by my mother from the time I was oh, we'll say at least three or four, and I consider myself an expert on sizing people up while exchanging words. And this man, who waited for a period of time, a period of time Mike and I later measured in a new unit of time measurement we call "Motherfucker Units." Surely you've heard of counting like this "One Mississippi, Two Mississippi..." Well, this works the exact same way. "One motherfucker, two motherfucker." This guy waited AT LEAST five motherfuckers before he shouted "WHAT MOTHERFUCKER?!" at me. Now, it's been a long time since I've been called motherfucker but it just rolled off me like nothing, in fact, it made me snicker a little. Which brought a sense of lightness to the situation I hadn't expected. However, what I also hadn't expected was how Mike would respond to someone calling his girlfriend a "motherfucker..."

Him "WHAT MOTHERFUCKER?!"

*Brakes squeal, The Truck spins around in a perfect u-turn on a dime and roars towards them*

This was when I looked at Mike, who looked very, very angry and let me tell you I've seen some masterfully evil people be very, very angry and this was right up there with them. I asked him what he was doing. No response. I told him that doing anything to them would make them the victims and he'd get arrested. No response. And that's when the head idiot ran to the side of the road, grabbed some stones and I kid you not... Began hopping up and down like a cartoon caveman and shouting that they were going to call the police in between plucking his shirt and puffing out his chest. Now, as a rule I think it's always best not to threaten someone with a rock while also threatening to call the police but hey, that's just me. And that's when he threw a rock. Um, sorta. He kinda lobbed it away from the truck and shouted some more. And that was when Mike told me to call the police but I still didn't want to call 911 so while Mike drove around a little bit to ensure that we weren't being followed I called the non-emergency helpline and told our story to the lady on the other end. She told me that I should have called 911 as soon as I got the plate number and that I did the right thing. She was also really surprised about the rock throwing and the threatening to call the police. Hey, she wasn't the only one.

And then once I hung up we drove around for a while calming down and making sure we were in no way leading them to Mike's house. As we pulled into the driveway I turned to Mike and said "Okay, when I said I wanted to do something that scared me every day in October, I meant I wanted to go ghost hunting or visit a haunted house, not enjoy some road rage and be threatened with rocks..." Mike was still very, very angry and hadn't relaxed enough yet to laugh. (Eventually, a few hours later he did.) Once we were home we decided to order pizza (our first pizza delivery of the year!) and just stay in for the rest of the night, because there was just too much stupid in the air yesterday. And it was a little contagious. While I don't regret what I shouted, after all I meant it, he did drive like shit and he was indeed a little bitch, it was needlessly reckless to have gotten that close and to have engaged them to that degree, after all we already had the plate we didn't really need to know where they lived. *shrug* Eh. Live and learn.

"Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to." -- Richard Harris Barham

So, last night Mike and I were on our way home when suddenly I remembered that we needed water. We always need water. I drink a gallon of it a day and Mike's working towards a similar goal, so we need water. Often. And yes, I know that blah blah blah I should drink tap water out of a metal bottle because Evian isn't very green but you know what... You know what? I don't care. I don't like the taste of Tucson's tap water. And YES, Mike and I once did a double blind taste test and I could tell which was which because (and this is where I sound insane) Evian has a totally different mouth feel and it's the easiest water for me to drink. Besides, we recycle everything religiously so we're upholding our end of the bargain. We buy it, we recycle it and if things go a rye from there... Not my fault.

Anyway, we pulled into the food store parking lot and that's when I saw them... Pumpkins. Glorious orange globes of pumpkin-y goodness! And there were hundreds of them. HUNDREDS! I was in Pumpkin Heaven. Before we had even parked I spotted two that I needed to have right away. Once we parked, and I had taken my seatbelt off (Mike and I are having a thing right now we're he noticed that I've started taking my seatbelt off before The Truck is in park, which is dangerous, so he's been shouting at me. Lovingly, of course, to not do that.) I actually hopped out to inspect them up close. This might not sound like a big deal to anyone who's been healthy and able bodied for the last few years but I haven't been so something as simple as casually getting out of The Truck and looking at a pile of pumpkins is HUGE for me.

So, I pointed out the ones I wanted to Mike and he grabbed them on his way into the supermarket while I climbed back into The Truck. And while he was in the store, I got bored. (You can only Tweet so often. At least I can. Right now. Because my right hand is killing me. Repetitive stress injury. Bad writer, not enough stretching.) I ended up zoning out on the pumpkin pile for a little while before a random little thought popped into my head. Something inside me said "grab your camera." That sounded like a great idea to me, after all there was a great looking pumpkin pile in front of me. I snapped a few shots and then sat back to review them.

And that's when I saw it. This perfect orb, hovering perfectly in the center of one shot, with a tiny trail behind it... It wasn't even officially the first day of October and I already had my first ghost photo! And it's a good one. Actually, there were a few good orb photos but this one was fantastic. I asked whoever it was that popped up on my camera to do me a solid a let me take another photo of them and then snapped a few more shots. I didn't just get one orb this time I had about three twirling around on my frames. And that was when I remembered that a few years ago Mike I used to stop at this particular food store all the time late at night and while I'd sit in the car and think about not bleeding to death I'd usually zone out because of the anemia. And one night I noticed that there was this one light that would flicker on and off when I'd look at it and me being me I started talking to it. And after a few more late night visits, trust me there we tons, I developed a casual chatty conversational relationship with whoever it was that was flashing me. I worked out a system of yes and no questions and we went on like that for a while. Then one day Mike and I stopped going to that food store for one reason or another. We're like that. We go through phases about areas we hang out in.

Well, I'm pretty sure that my little friend remembered me and popped by to say hi. (I'd like to upload the photos to my Blog but every time I've tried to crazy things have happened. I so need to find a new place to blog.) It wasn't even the first of October yet and I already had a great ghost photo on my hands!

But, today is the first day of October and we all know what that means... It's my favorite time of year! Now, I love my birthday and I love spring. I also enjoy Christmas and Easter, but I live for and love October. I look forward to October all year long. (However I don't wish I had been born in October. Ironic, no? Eh, I'm a proud Leo/Virgo, I'd be a terrible Libra.) When summer starts I grit my teeth and tell myself that if I can endure just one more Tucson summer (i.e. Hell) then I'll be able to enjoy another October. And like every year before eventually October arrives and I am reveling in it. I began plotting out my ideas for my house this year in the middle of August and I can't wait to see how it's all going to come out. I've got sketches and pages I've torn out from magazines but nothing compares to seeing it in person. So, today I'll be watching Mike put the first layer of lights up on my house. (That's right, we'll be decorating in layers this year, it's all part of the theme, which I'll be revealing later on...)

And as for The Ghost of The Day, a classic institution I've been sharing on MySpace for years. It's not going to happen this year. Not because I don't want to do it. And not because I can't find some amazing ghost photos and ghost stories but because it's just too much of a pain in the ass to get anything to post decently on this blog anymore. It's a bummer to me but I've just decided to carry on the tradition on my Facebook account. And this time I'm doing it with a twist. This year I'm sharing Ghostly Video Clips. That's right, it's that time of year again. The time of year when I haunt you with grim grinning ghosts who've come out to socialize... on video!

What's this... Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Am I actually going to be showing video footage of the disembodied? Or is it just your imagination? Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely; the real chills come later. Now, as they say, look alive, and we'll continue our little tour on Facebook.

MWA HA HA HA HA

*poof*

"A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip." -- Author Unknown

Happy Birthday To Me.

Eh...

I hope I feel better this time next year because if I have to celebrate one more Birthday in bed because I'm dizzy, or nauseous, or too weak to do anything, or too foggy to enjoy myself, or any of the ways I've spent my last FOUR birthdays...

Well, it's just not going to happen. I won't let it.

Birthday List
Stephanie's Birthday Wish List: A Constantly Evolving Catalog Of Things Stephanie Wants

Chanel

Bags

* 2.55 Bag (Black, Pink, Pink Tweed, White)

* Chanel 31 Rue Cambon Tote

* Matriochka (Russian Doll) Enamel Bracelet Bag

* Russian Doll Necklace

* Veau Velours Clutch

Coach

Bags

* Bonnie Canvas - Tote

* Bonnie Jeweled Canvas - Large Tote

* Chelsea Heritage Stripe Tote Bag (13196) - Brown

* Chelsea Heritage Stripe Tote Bag (13196) - Green

* Chelsea Heritage Stripe Tote Bag (13196) - White

* Bubbles/Fish - Large Tote - White

* Hamptons Archive - Straw Carryall

* Hamptons Archive - Stripe Carryall

* New Ali Signature Large Hobo - Khaki/Bronze
* New Tattoo Canvas Tote - Natural/Gold

* New Tattoo Canvas Tote - Black/Gunmetal

* Polka Dot Gallery Tote (3678) - White

* Polka Dot Wristlet (6557) - Camel

* Polka Dot Wristlet - White

* Poppy - Tote - White - 2005/2006 Collection

* Poppy Zip Clutch - Silver

* Signature Beaded Wristlet (6F35) - Khaki W/Brown

* Signature Bleecker Denim Canvas Floral Duffle (11783)

* Signature Denim Blue Jeans Patchwork Gallery Tote (13721)

* Signature Stripe Floral Tote (12204) - Khaki/Gold

* Signature Stripe Floral Tote (12204) - Khaki/Pink

* Straw Floral XL Tote (12208)

Keyfobs

* Girlie Multi Mix Keyfob

* Hot Air Balloon Keyfob

* Mouse Keyfob (92121)

* New Women's Surfboard Keyfob (92567) 

* Patent Whale Keyfob

* Pegasus Keyfob

Hermes

Bags

* Blue Jean Birkin

* Orange Birkin Bag

* White Canvas Birkin Bag

Honora

* 5.0mm Cultured Freshwater Pearl 18" Strand w/Sterl. Clasp - Black (QVC.com - J00168)

* 5.0mm Cultured Freshwater Pearl 18" Strand w/Sterl. Clasp - White (QVC.com - J00168)

* 5.0mm Cultured Freshwater Pearl 20" Strand w/Sterl. Clasp - Black (QVC.com - J00258)

* 5.0mm Cultured Freshwater Pearl 20" Strand w/Sterl. Clasp - White (QVC.com - J00258)

* 9 mm Cultured Freshwater Pearl Multi- Color 18" Strand (QVC.com - J3346)

* 9.0mm Cultured Freshwater Pearl 18" Strand (QVC.com - J141355)

* 9.0mm Cultured Freshwater Pearl 22" Strand (QVC.com - J141356)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Large Ringed Drop Pendant - Black (QVC.com - J139616)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Large Ringed Drop Pendant - Chocolate (QVC.com - J139616)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Large Ringed Drop Pendant - Grey (QVC.com - J139616)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Large Ringed Drop Pendant - Pistachio (QVC.com - J139616)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Large Ringed Drop Pendant - Teal (QVC.com - J139616)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Large Ringed Drop Pendant - White (QVC.com - J139616)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Multi-Pastel 18" Strand (QVC.com - J141352)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Multi-Pastel 20" Strand (QVC.com - J141353)

* Cultured Freshwater Pearl Multi-color 18" Ringed Necklace (QVC.com - J15519)

Juicy Couture

Charms

* Aquarius

* Banana Split

* Blue Butterfly

* Bowling Pin

* Boxing Glove

* Buddha

* California License Plate

* Candy Cane

* Candy Roll

* Cameo

* Carousel Horse

* Cherries

* Chinese Take-Out Box

* Chocolate Covered Strawberry

* Christmas Stocking

* Clam

* Coffee

* Crown Pillow

* Cupcake

* Flower Bouquet

* Fruit Tart

* Ghost

* Gingerbread House

* Gumball Machine

* Hard Candy

* Hawaiian Snow Globe

* Ice Cream

* Ice Pop

* Jewelry Chest

* Knight's Helmet

* Lollipop

* Mouse & Cheese

* Nail Polish

* Orange Slice

* Peanut

* Pink Crown

* Popcorn

* Pumpkin

* Queen Bee

* Retro TV

* Russian Nesting Doll

* Scorpio

* Skateboard

* Snowflake

* Soft Pretzel

* Spider

* Teacup

* Teapot

* Treasure Chest

* Truth Or Dare

* Virgo

* Whale

Jewelry

* Fortune Cookie Necklace

* Wish Hard Candy Necklace

Louis Vuitton

* Monogram Groom Porte Monnaie Rond

* Neverfull GM - Damier Canvas

* Neverfull GM - Monogram Canvas

* Speedy 30 - Embroidered - Silver

* Speedy 30 - Miroir Silver

* Speedy 30 - Monogram Multicolore

* Speedy 30 - Stephen Sprouse Monogram Roses

* Speedy 35 - Monogramouflage

I figured I'd show some solidarity with all the poor little kids in Tucson who had to start school long before summer was even close to being over (the poor bastards) by writing a theme paper...

Over my summer vacation I didn't travel anywhere neat or have any fantastic adventures (well, not many) but I did spend a lot of time trying to fix my sleep schedule. And I think it's starting to work because I'm starting to actually feel tired before one in the morning, which is HUGE for me. Basically, I haven't had a sane or rational relationship with sleep since the Clinton administration. And when you add anemia and adrenal fatigue to the mix you get one screwed up little Stephanie. So, while fixing ones sleep schedule isn't very glamorous, it was/is very necessary.

Let's see what else... My family screwed with me early on in the summer, which isn't anything new, but how I responded is. I decided that I would try being as self-focused and narcissistic as they are for a change and just not call them. That's all. Not ignore them. Not get angry with them. Not tell them off. Nothing. Just not call them. I just decided that I wouldn't pick up a phone until they did. And you know what. I haven't heard from anyone since early June. Yup. I rest my case. I mean, really there isn't anything more to say about it. Either that explains it all or it doesn't. Case closed.

Mostly though, this summer has been spent with Mike and I have been cleaning my house out, cleaning his house out and packing things up for storage or donation. You'd think this would be a process that would result in quick results but you have to factor in that we're going through five years of clutter at my house. (Long story short, I got sick and left Mike in charge of my house while I convalesced and while the phrase "hell in a hand basket" gets thrown around a lot I think it's quite aptly used here.)

In actuality the one thing I took away from this summer (besides getting closer to actually sleeping like a "normal" human being) that was note worthy was making some progress on a project I've been working really hard on and the discovery of some fantastic new books. In fact, a few days ago I noticed that I've read over a hundred books this year. I hadn't set out to do that but it was kinda cool to find out I'd done it.

One series of books I found and devoured this summer were The Bewitching Mysteries written by Madelyn Alt:

Antiques-shop clerk Maggie O'Neill was a little weirded out when she discovered her new boss Felicity was a witch. But when Felicity becomes the suspect in a local murder, Maggie must enlist Felicity's wiccan friends for help--and discover her own spellbinding talent.

First of all they're great. Very cozy to read, scary enough to keep me on edge and they show a fantastic amount of character development, which is always very important to me. If it's one thing I hate it's a book, show, movie, whatever where the characters gain no awareness, ask no questions and achieve nothing in the way of growth as time goes by. LOST, I'm looking at you. So, this series was a delight to read and sadly I tore through them way too fast, as Stephanies are wont to do with good books. But, the thing about these books that I enjoyed the most was the fact that the main character, Maggie, is an empath.

An intuitive who senses and even experiences the feelings of others, even when those emotions are carefully hidden behind a mask. All her life she has experienced psi phenomena but has never recognized it for what it was. Because it was just coincidence. Because that kind of thing doesn't exist. Because at some point in time the cynical secular teachings took precedence over old-time wisdom and convinced the world to be logical and rational and to put our fears at rest. Because when you're raised in a world that is "normal" and your brain works on other levels, you try your best to fit what you experience into that normal mold. To view it through those eyes.

Now, she doesn't know this at first but over time she begins to understand and develop her latent talents. This was such a cool thing to me for two reasons: One, because I'm an empath. And two, because I almost never see any reflections of my own reality in literature to this degree so this was a big first for me and I loved it. So much so that as soon as I realized where the author was going with these books I dashed off to her website to see what else she had to say and was ecstatic to see that she offered a wee compendium of facts about Empaths, which was something else I really hadn't run across before. I mean, sure I've seen blurbs or paragraphs but this was really fantastic to me:

The following are traits many empaths share:
~Feels emotions often and deeply
~Unable to easily release accumulated sadness or distress
~Keenly aware of emotions of others, even those kept hidden away. In fact, it is possible for an empath to physically sense the emotions as though they were their own if not shielded
~Able to see beyond the masks people wear and the mind games they play
~Feels deeply the pain and suffering of others, as though it is a part of their own experience
~Compassionate and nurturing
~Strongly aware of and affected by beauty in art, music, and nature
~Often works in a helping or healing profession, or are poets, writers, musicians, actors, or artists
~Usually has a great sense of humor
~Feels overwhelmed or depleted by too much stimuli (large crowds, loud noises, hectic environments, negativity)
~Also tends to reflect back the general mood of the crowd, or of those people they feel emotionally close to
~Needs to retreat within themselves to become focused
~Deeply saddened by the betrayal of trust, even though they may understand the motives behind the betrayal
~Sometimes prone to depression
~Feels compelled to understand the motivations of others
~Highly expressive. Speaks openly, and, at times quite frankly. Talking things out is an important factor in releasing emotional energy in the developing empath
~Avoids conflicts and confrontations, yet speaks the truth without judgment
~The chameleon of the intuitive world.  Due to our natures, we often take on and assimilate the moods and characteristics of others.  For that reason we are sometimes judged as being soft, or a pushover, by those with more forceful personalities
~Finely attuned to the natural world
~Children are drawn to them
~Often has a strong affinity with animals.
~Often has precognitive dreams or lucid dreams
~Sometimes sensitive to bright lights and energy, and may notices subtle changes in the atmosphere
~Prone to migraines and tense muscles
~Faithful friends, great listeners
~Will share another's experience without judgment, bias or harsh, thoughtless words
~People sometimes feel compelled to share very private things with them/get things off their chest
~Others may be drawn to their warmth and light, like moths to a flame
~As expressive with body language and gestures as with words, thoughts, and feelings
~Easily moved to tears by things designed to evoke strong emotion--violent acts on TV can make them feel physically ill
~Inclined to "pick up" stray energies/emotions and reflect them back as their own
~Is often able to project emotion and energy, as well as receive

And it was really fantastic to me because this list describes me so well! And why does this affect me so much? Probably, because I've spent an entire lifetime not fitting in and here was someone who had compiled a list of what essentially is a list of common Stephanie traits. Like I said fantastic.

So, there you have it. I spent a summer working on myself, both internally and externally and while it's not as exciting as what I'd have done had I been healthy , it was actually a very productive summer.

And I'm back. Woo!

*Crickets Chirping*

Yeah, I know. I know. I had the best of intentions over the last few months to not only begin blogging again but to also catch up my blog completely. (Blog is an odd word to use after not using it for a while.) To painstakingly go back and (using nothing but Twitter and my own brain) write about every single day that had passed since the last time I wrote something but... frankly... I'm too lazy/sick/tired to do that. So, if you want to know all the various minutia that's comprised my life for the last, oh year or so, head on over to Twitter and you can read all about it in tiny 140 character limited bursts.

http://twitter.com/Slinksterfeline

And just in case you have no interest in reading fifty-seven pages of Stephanie Shorthand allow me to catch you up. I'm still sickly-ish. I'm no longer having difficulty with simple things like breathing and walking though because I'm no longer anywhere near as anemic as I once was. In fact, I'd wager that I'm barely anemic anymore. Which is something I refuse to get excited about until I know for sure. Because if I start thinking about not being anemic anymore after almost five year of being extremely anemic, which came on the heels of what was probably a lifetime of nearly being anemic... Well, that's just too awesome to contemplate and then be wrong about. So, until I go get my blood drained out of me (which when you think about it seems like the wrong way to go about ending one's anemic run) and know for sure, I'm not going to get too excited about anything.

And besides, with how screwed up my adrenal glands still are it would be a limited celebration.

Yeah, my little adrenals are still making me their b*tch on an almost daily basis, everyone I've talked to has said that it's my stress level. Then they give me palliative clichés in the form of advice. "Well, you need to remove the stress from your life..." and "Get rid of anyone in your life who causes you stress..." I always respond with "And exactly how does one cut almost everyone she knows out of her life, hmmm?" and that's when they refocus on advising me to get on a healthy sleep schedule and to relax as often as possible. It's not really all that helpful but I have been trying to "fix" my sleep schedule though...

But, the tricky thing about my sleep schedule is that I don't believe in such things. I know, and that's why I feel like this. Ha ha ha. No, actually the reason why I feel like this is because of the insane levels of stress my body has been forced to deal with on a consistent basis for the last... lifetime or so. And yes, I know that everyone has stress but trust me I'm not exaggerating to impress anyone. I'd go into it more but ehhh I don't really want to... Here, I'll break it down. Our little human bodies were designed to deal with stress in short, quick, intense bursts like "EEK, a bear. I shall run away." not "Oh my abusive family is going to be abusive for the next fifteen years, I'll pace myself and only feel stress occasionally." Anyhow, me and sleep is a funny thing. I love to sleep. Sleep is great. Except when you have terrible nightmares, which I do. Often. Whee. Anyhoo, sleep and I get along great, so long as I don't attempt to control it too much. For example, if I go to bed when I'm sleepy and get up when my body wants to I'm great. And if I've been doing that for a while I can run on barely any sleep for a week or so but that was back before all this sick nonsense happened. Yes, before I got sick I was capable of driving from LA to Tucson after taking a half hour nap instead of actually, you know, sleeping.

But, me and sleep have a completely different relationship these days, it's elusive and tricky and often times when I can fall asleep I have horrible, violent, brutal nightmares that end with me waking up terrified of going back to sleep or with me waking up from a "restful" night of sleep feeling like I've been awake all night. Now, just that alone would make sleeping not that appealing to me, but that's not all. There's more. It's summer. In Tucson. And that means it's disgustingly hot and practically unbearable for me to go outside during the daytime. And that also means that for the last... Well, for as long as I can remember that's when my body and I decide to become nocturnal. No really, it's been like that for years, my circadian rhythm changes and I begin to feel really wide awake at about nine at night, then if I was feeling like "normal Stephanie" I'd stay up all night long doing stuff and then as the sun was coming up over the mountains I'd make like nosferatu and return to my bedroom and go to sleep until sometime in the early evening. And before anyone says anything, let me say this it always worked beautifully. It would get hot, I'd say goodbye to the sun and then as the seasons changed I'd ease on back into a "normal" sleep schedule. In fact, this worked beautifully for years. Then I got really, really sick and it stopped working. Mostly because when a person's body gets to a certain point of being anemic it actually loses the ability to fall asleep on its own accord. Yeah, it's counterintuitive but when you get to a, oh let's say deathly ill level of anemia, your body can't fall asleep on its own  very easily and you pretty much become the walking dead. How do I know this? Because I was living it, a little more than a year ago. Yeah, it was just as exciting and fun as it sounds. You haven't lived until you can barely walk, barely breathe and all you want to do is sleep but for some reason no matter what sleep won't come. But, thankfully all of that is over now...

Sorta.

I'm still dealing with the fallout from my lengthy journey down "almost died" lane. And that's when my wacky little adrenal glands come into play and that's why I've spent the last week trying to cultivate a "normal" sleep schedule. And that would be super, except it's August and I live in Tucson and it's nauseatingly hot outside and I hate being awake during the day for it and my body isn't thrilled about it either so we're still battling about "bedtime." Now, I know some of you might be thinking "TAKE SOMETHING" and to that I say "You must be new here."

And so *fingers crossed* maybe tonight will be the night. (It won't be. )

"The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway." -- Henry Boye

Hoo boy... We're going. Color me amazed. I feel awful today and I am in a mooooood. I'm going to go hop in the shower and then start getting ready while Mike packs the truck and prepares it to house five doggies. Elton, Sunny, Ashley, Raven and Austin need to all ride in the backseat of The Truck without fighting. Ashley, I am so looking at you. Mike and I stood in the driveway of his house and planned out how to set up the backseat to make it work for everyone but it's one thing to do a dry run with no dogs... It's a WHOLE other thing to toss a German Shepherd, a Boxer, a Border Collie and two Papillons in the backseat and say "play nice" and expect it to work. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.....

And so if you'll excuse me I'm off to go finish getting ready to drive up to Northern Arizona. I'm looking forward to getting there but I am so not looking forward to the drive. I'll be Twittering my discontent periodically. Stay tuned.....

"Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." -- Dennis Miller

You know who I don't like... My neighbors on one side of my house. Remember how Mike put up small decorative Christmas trees on either side of my driveway in the hopes of creating a festive roadblock to keep those pains in the ass from driving into my gravel when they park in front of their stupid house? Okay, well the trees were up for a few days when Mike and I drove towards my house to see that they (the lousy neighbors, not the trees) had put up some stupid "let's raise money for our local school" sign (pfft, you bred it, you pay for it pal, not me) thisclose to the tree on their side of my house. Now, it's on their property line and while there's nothing I can really do about it... (Aside from steal the sign, which we totally thought about doing but didn't because we figure we need all the good karma we can get. Look, to be honest with you, if it wasn't for my fear of bad karma... Oh my gawd the things I would do.) No, there really wasn't anything we could do about the sign, in and of itself. But... We could slowly move the trees out one inch every single night. *evil grin* So, every single night since The Sign went up Mike has scooted the trees out. Inch by inch their sign disappears from my sight. MWA HA HA HA. *looks around* We'll see how things go with that.......

You know something else I don't like... This sprained ankle of mine. It's grown tedious and sore.  I also don't like how exhausted I feel and I really don't like that I'm trying very hard to get organized for the road trip to Mike's Parent's House and all I really want to do is lay in bed and play Animal Crossing: City Folk on the Wii. We've been planning on leaving to go up to Prescott tomorrow, but I gotta be honest with you... I'll be amazed if it ends up happening. Although, the dogs are groomed and the gifts are wrapped and The Truck has been cleaned and I'm almost packed and... Gosh... Color me amazed, it might actually happen.....

Oo oo oo, on another note tonight Mike and I are going to try to make the Winter Bark from Martha Stewart Living. I thought it would be a fun little gift to take up to Mike's Parent's House. Earlier today Mike picked out a bunch of different dark chocolates and white chocolates from Whole Foods and later we'll be swirling different combinations together (vegan and non-vegan items will be produced and kept away from each other...) Domestic, yes. Fun, I hope so. Also, it's something productive I can do while sitting very still at the counter in Mike's kitchen. Yay sitting still!!!

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." -- Woody Allen

Another year and another opportunity for me to blog about all my wacky adventures... Last year, I was thrilled to see my number of readers ebb and flow from at least 50 a day to at one point about 1600 a day. It was cool to see and it's nice to know that while I sit here waiting for my body to heal I'm actually entertaining people a little. Even if it's only for a few minutes a day. And so without further ado... Actually, no wait. There's more ado. Allow me to catch everyone up to where I'm at right now.......

I'm still exhausted from trying to accomplish Christmas on time this year. And I'm pretty sure there's people doing weird sh*t around my house on a pretty consistent basis... I'm still very anemic and to make matters worse my adrenal glands still aren't functioning properly, which means that every part of my body that regulates hormones has been so overwhelmed with stress in the last two months that I just feel awful right now. I'm having trouble sleeping. I feel nauseous all the time. I have hot flashes. I get random chills. I feel dizzy and can't tell whether it's from the anemia or the adrenal glands malfunctioning. I'm in a constant fog and at random I'll suddenly be overwhelmed with adrenalin rushes that put most panic attacks to shame. That being said, I'm actually still doing better than I was a few months ago so there's that. I'm sorta kinda doing a little better and as soon as all the Christmas obligations are wrapped up all I plan to focus on is recovering from this health train wreck once and for all... And yes, I know that I shouldn't have even bothered with Christmas. I know that I should have just said "screw you guys..." and focused on my health but I was raised by a pack of narcissistic wolves and I have a hard time thinking about myself first. But, hey I'm working on it.....

Which brings us to Christmas, it should be over by now but Mike and I had a lot of crazy crap to deal with in the last few weeks so we're not exactly where we hoped we'd be by now. We did actually manage to celebrate Christmas with my Sister and her family. And with Lizandra and her family. And we even managed to enjoy our own Christmas celebration together. (Albeit the day after Christmas, but hey, I'm sure Jesus was fine with that. ) Now, all that's left is for me to see my Father at some point and give him his gifts and for Mike and I to *sigh* drive up to Prescott and give his family their gifts. And let me just point out that I'm not sighing because I don't look forward to seeing his family. I like Mike's family. they're very nice to me, which isn't something I take for granted. Trust me.......

To be honest, people's parents rarely ever like me. In fact, in high school every time I met someone's parents they took an instant dislike to me, which was fine because it was always mutual. (Like I've said before I can read people very well and it's a real challenge to try to ingratiate yourself to someone's parents when you know they smack their kids around or that Daddy would like to "accidentally" walk in on you, or his  daughter, in the shower. Yeah. Clearly I knew a lot of kids with effed up families... But, they went to church every weekend. *eye roll*) The lone exception to that rule was Lizandra's parents who understood that I was actually a good kid, and that aside from wacky hijinx I'd never actually put their kid in any danger. *sparkle smile*Well, any serious danger. *looks around* Seriously, parents would see me pull up in front of their house in a brand new BMW, wearing a pair of cut-offs, flip flops and a Metallica t-shirt and they'd assume their precious artifact children would immediately be tainted by what was clearly my non-Christian  unwholesomeness . Ha and Pffft I say. Ha and Pffft. I was more likely to ditch school to drive across town to Dillard's to make sure I scored the latest color of Hard Candy nail polish than I was to take their children out joyriding when they should have been studying. (Actually, Lizandra went with me on that trip. We both bought SpaceBoy and then got back in time to present something absurd to our joint English classes. Long story.)....

Now, you have to keep in mind that I really didn't have any close friends in high school, just a lot of acquaintances and I liked it better that way. Lots of people to go to detention with, few people to have to actually tolerate outside of a school setting. Anyhow, with the exception of one of the girls who's parent's I'm speaking of, without fail every single one of these cloistered religious children went on to smoke bad pot at scary parties, get drunk on cheap booze in parking lots, get arrested for consuming said booze and get knocked the eff up by real upstanding young gentlemen within a matter of months after leaving high school and the ever watchful eye of Mumsy and Daddy. As for me, I dropped out, remained straight edge, still wear that Metallica t-shirt to sleep sometimes, enjoy my latest BMW and  laugh when I think about how those parents reacted to me as I wonder how they feel about what their little achievers achieved.......

But, I digress. Parents disliking me has never been limited to playmates. It's all encompassing. Take for example, my first boyfriend's mother. She loathed me. (Remember I no longer count Cap'n Douchebag as a boyfriend, meaning I've dated two, count 'em two, boys in my life. Boy One and Boy Two. Boy Two is more commonly known as Mike. Funny side note, out of all the Mothers I've had to meet wouldn't it just totally figure that I would have the most in common with Cap'n Douchebag's. Oh she was a hoot. Figures right?) Anyway, I don't know if it was my money, or the fact that she thought I was Jewish, or any number of things (Oh the stories I could tell... The stories.) but God Bless America that woman hated me. I knew it, I wanted to call her on it, but I didn't. Out of respect for him and for the fact that I knew she had everyone around her nicely snowed and I'd look like the bitchy girlfriend picking on Mommy Dearest. *shrug* Story of my life. But , that was then. Now... Now, I'd have no problem letting her know exactly what I thought of how she treated her son. And that was the thing, I didn't give a rat's wiggly ass if she liked me or not, but the things she did to her son and expected everyone to be okay with... Ugh. I'll just leave it at that, it was a bunch of dreadful nonsense and I'll move on. On to Mike's parents, whom I really genuinely like and respect. And I'm not just saying that because I'm dating their son. I wouldn't bother, I'd just be sweetly quiet about the whole thing.....

Now, it's not exactly that I have a lot in common with them. In fact, when Mike and I were first dating we arrived at a family gathering in Phoenix and I immediately mentioned how we'd made epic time getting there because *wink/nod* I'd broken a few traffic laws (See, honest to a fault.) and I watched Mike's mother blanche and I pulled Mike away and said "why did you never mention to me that your Mother arbores speeders?!" His bad. I've never mentioned my penchant for fast moving vehicles again in her presence. I just wish I'd known ahead of time. *pointed look at Mike* And once, once I walked into the kitchen after we spent the night at their house to see Howard Stern on TV. I casually mentioned that I wanted to get Satellite Radio so I could finally listen to him again and watched in slow motion horror as Mike's Mother informed me that she hated Howard Stern. Oy. But, honest to goodness in all the time I've been dating Mike those are the ONLY times there's been any awkwardness or weirdness or... Well, okay, it's always very awkward for me when I wake up on one of our weekend trips and stroll out into the main part of the house to see that everyone is watching some sort of Deer Hunting show on TV. But, I've come to terms with it and I just smile and keep on trucking back to the shower to take my time getting ready (about as long as the show lasts) for breakfast. But, if the following is the only awkwardness I have to deal with, I'm strolling down easy street.....

Stephanie: "Good morning everyone..." *Glance at TV, see a deer happily frolicking around and think "awww..."....

Everyone: "Hi, did you sleep well?"....

Mike: *HUGE EYES, move towards girlfriend and point to something across house, dog, bird, tree, whatever*....

*GUNSHOT*....

Stephanie: *Thinks "oooooooh yes, it's that sort of nature program...* "I'm going to go hop in the shower real quick."....

Mike: "Great idea. I'll bring you in some juice..."....

And yes, at Mike's parent's house we get to sleep in the same bed, in the same room. None of that mock piety for us. And while it's not a bordello and we don't behave as such, no one thinks it's weird if Mike hands me something to drink while I'm in the shower. Which is nice, since at Boy One's Mother's House, I had to sleep on the couch. In the dark. Alone. With nothing but the sounds of the nearby Grandfather clock to keep my company. And Boy One's Brother's Cat. I'd end up sitting in the dark trying to read by the light of my cell phone while I waited for the sun to come up so I could stop worrying that there was something lurking in the dark waiting for me to fall asleep... Good times.....
So, that earlier sigh wasn't about going up to Mike's parent's house. It was about not wanting to go on a road trip anytime soon. And that's the only way to get up there and we have Christmas present AND a Border Collie to deliver so sooner, much sooner, than later we're going to be heading on up to Prescott. And I'm just going to have to suck it up and go no matter how I feel because I don't want to make them wait any longer to see their son. So, we'll be spending the next few days getting ready to go and baking dog cookies and wrapping presents and pumping me full of vitamins and iron-rich yum yums. In fact, I'd better get to work... On something...

The Sandwich Cookie Personality Test

 

You Are Empathetic and Impassioned!

 

 

 

You view the world with childlike wonder. You are very inquisitive. You can help but spy, investigate, and ask questions.

You are a very creative and innovative person. You dream big and rarely do something the same way twice.

You're sweet and easy to please. You seek out comfort in your life.

You seek identity in your life. You are constantly figuring out who you are.