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Snarly Old Man

Snarly Old Man


Last Updated: 7/7/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 45
Sign: Aries

City: Southwestern
State: Virginia
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/26/2008

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July 9, 2009 - Thursday 

Category: Blogging
My apologies to Sam MacDonald, author of:

 

I had no idea until late last night when I Googled the term "Urban Hermit" that someone had beat me to it.  It is the storry of how Sam MacDonald ended years of drinking, partying and eating to become hard and focused on his future.  Part of this was by eating 800 calories a day consisting of lentils and store brand tuna.  Sounds interesting.  I'll have to jump on Amazon just as soon as I get off of here and order a copy.

One of the other bloggers here, love never fails, claims to have figured out how to give multiple kudos.  Hmmmm.  Anyway, she is going to pimp out various other bloggers on her #1 blog if she feels like it.  I think everyone here should email here by clicking this link and tell her that The Snarly Old Man is very deserving of being pimped on her blog.

I need more people to SUBSCRIBE to this blog.  You know you want to read it every day, this way you will be notified whenever I get off my lazy ass and put something together in some type of random order and call it a blog.  So remember, SUBSCRIBE today!!!!

"Hermits have no peer pressure."

— Steven Wright


 

This is where I would like to live

After having won the lottery of course.  How else am I going to be able to afford to build the place to start with?  Then I would have to pay someone for grocery deliveries.  Somehow I'd have to have TV and internet access.  This could be an expensive proposition.


 

You know who else had a cabin in the woods so he could escape from society?  Theodore Kaczynski, The Unabomber.  But then I don't have a manifesto.....yet.


 

Funny that I would have this picture around in my files.

Ok, I guess I'd better just post this random collection of words and get to work on my manifesto. 

Tomorrow:  In search of the perfect TV - Part I

Currently reading:
The Urban Hermit: A Memoir
By Sam Macdonald
Release date: 2008-11-25
11:20 AM 
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July 8, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  grumpy
Category: Blogging
Urban Hermit  - That is what I'm going to be. 

Since I am probably best described as a  misanthrope,  a person who dislikes or distrusts humanity as a general rule, then perhaps I should just sequester myself away and contemplate my navel.  Or something along those lines.

But the first thing I'm going to do is get me a 46" HD LCD TV with a Bluray player.  Oh, and I'll need a good recliner.

That's about it.  That's all I would need.  Now, where do I do this? There is a deck out back.  I could pitch a tent there. 

Of course I could just do it part-time.  Go to the j.o.b., then come home and hide out.  Only go to Walmart at 4:00 AM when there is not likely to be anybody else there that I know.

Feed the birds, play with the cats, read a lot, watch a lot of TV.  That's me, the new Part-Time Urban Hermit.
Currently reading:
Kermit the Hermit
By Bill Peet
2:20 PM 
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July 7, 2009 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  grumpy
Category: Blogging
This sux!


Getting old that is.  See my age on my profile.  I f'cking lie about that.  I don't know why, but I do.  It doesn't make the little aches and pains that keep sneaking up on me go away.  It doesn't affect the way I look.  It doesn't affect who I am.  Hell, this is MySpace. I could put down something younger as far as that goes. I think I'll go do it now.  Nobody will ever notice.



Those of you that are over a certain age know what I'm talking about.  Those of you who are young - F'CK YOU. As they say, youth is wasted on the young.  We should all live Benjamin Button lives.


 Michael Jackson probably died of an overdose of pain killers.  I can totally understand why.  I'm roughly the same age he was and I get up with aches and stiffness and soreness that wasn't there yesterday every single f'cking day of my life.  He was preparing to go on a f'cking concert tour and dance his ass all over a stage in front of millions of people.  If that were me I'm have a constant heroin drip set up!


Didn't you used to hate it when all the aunts and uncles and grandparents would get together and all you would hear them talk about was their medical problems and their surgeries?  The price of gas and how much a loaf of bread costs.  Do you know why?  That's the only interesting sh't that ever happened to them! 


Have you ever woke up in the morning and thought, "It sure would feel good to be laying on a Mexican beach having nubile young girls bringing me drinks with umbrellas in them while I soak in the sun and read a good book." 


These people who say, "Oh, if I won the Lottery I couldn't quit my job, I'd have to have something to do." are f'cking MORONS!  They have no imagination.  Me? If I had all the time and money in the world, you wouldn't catch me working at anything much harder than deciding whether to get my massage with or without a happy ending.

One last thing before I medicate myself enough to face another day at the j.o.b.  That girl in my profile pic - I don't even know her.  I just wondered if more people would read my blog if they thought she was who wrote it.
Currently listening:
Growing Up Is Getting Old
By Jason Michael Carroll
Release date: 2009-04-28
11:02 AM 
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July 6, 2009 - Monday 

Current mood:  grumpy
Whatever.  How many arguments have been started, or ended, by that one word?

When did we start using that word as an argument ender?  What does it mean?

To me it means that you have simply given up on the argument.  You can think of nothing better to say.  In your mind, know what you have won, but you just want to take that next step to finalize the argument.  You just give up.  Whatever.

Just imagine the United States and Kim Jong Il, leader of North Korea, having an argument.  The US says, "Il, Dude, don't be firing those missles anymore."  Il says, "They are my missles, I'll fire them when I want to!!!"  Then the US, who shoots 50 million tons of explosives into the sky every year just for the fun of it says, "Whatever."

Don't you know that pissed little Kim off?  He goes and throws every missle he has into the sky.  In the meantime the US is ignoring him, blanketing our skies with explosives all over the country....just for the fun of it.  Imagine what we would do if we were serious.

The kids today have even shortened the word, they use it so much.  "Hey Emma, go clean your room up, pigs have cleaner rooms than you do.  The health department is going to come in and they will probably declare it a disaster area.  FEMA will be here to see if there is any kind of mutant life form breeding in that filth you call a bedroom!"

Emma: "Whatev"

That's it, you have used your best tirade and all you get is Whatev.

What do you say when somebody WHATEVER's you?
Currently listening:
Whatever
By Aimee Mann
Release date: 1995-12-19
10:36 AM 
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July 2, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:  grumpy
Category: Blogging
I woke up pissed off this morning.  Literally.  I'd been having a dream about something, and it had pissed me off.  Not a scary dream, just an annoying dream.

Then I went over to browse around some other blogs to see if I coud see anything I could use and there is Matt Kansas is his underwear!  EWWWW. I knew I should have gone to Stephanie's blog first. 

I don't know how all Walmart's are designed, but the one I go to has a really annoying feature.  You pick up your shopping carts as you come in the door.  Then there is some rough cobblestone like flooring for about 20 ft.  Then some more tile flooring with big joints between the tiles.  I do believe this is all to mask the fact that you have got a bad cart.  You know, the kind that squeals, or makes a lot of noise because one of the wheels is flat and they are too f'ing cheap to fix them.  My new policy:  Once I get to the smooth floor inside the store, if my cart is noisy I'm leaving it right there and going back until I get one with a smooth ride! 

People touching me.  I hate that.  It happened at work last night.  Guys will come up from behind and try to hit you in the side in your ticklish spot (I don't have one of those).  In all fairness though I did ask him if this batty old woman on his team with the same last name as his was his mother.

Is this long enough for a blog?  F'ck it.  If MySpazz will save it - it is a blog.
11:23 AM 
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July 1, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  grumpy
Category: Blogging
Stupid people piss me off!

1.  People who are not aware of what is around them.  These are the people in the Walmart who block the aisles either because they are visiting with friends or just because they park their cart on one side and stand on the other side totally blocking anybody from getting through.

2.  Cops who can't tell you have your seatbelt on.  Also, cops who say, "Do you know why I have pulled you over?"  What happened to my right to remain silent?

3.  People who can't keep their mouth f'cking shut.  Mention something to this person in passing and they almost leave a vacuum in their place running to spread the news.

4.  People who eat while working at the computers I'm responsible for maintaining.  Get your greasy hands off there you stupid S.O.B.'s.  You can eat a whole bucket of KFC followed by a big ole bag of greasy 'tater chips while you are sitting in front of your computer at home.  I don't care.  I don't have to clean it.

5.  People who forget their passwords.  Yes, I can undestand someone who has been out for two months coming back and needing their password reset, but NOT the dim bulb who just got up to go to the bathroom and forgot it before he could get back!

6.  People who do 15 MPH on a road marked for 25, or 35, or 45.... you get the point.

7.  Left lane bandits on our interstate highway system.  They should be apprehended and shot on the spot.  No trial necessary.

7a.  Trucks that don't have enough power to make it up and down the hills on the Interstate here in Virginia at the legal minimum speed limit.  If your truck won't go at the very minimum of 45 MPH up our hills, get a bigger f'cking truck.  This is Virginia, you know there are hills here.

7b.  The flip side of this, you don't have to go 120 MPH DOWN the hills just to make up for your slow upward crawl.

8.  People who think Conan O'Brien is funny.

9.  People with neon colored hair.  It just says, "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!" 

10.  And the top thing that pisses me off today about stupid people:  They are allowed to BREED!
Currently reading:
Can America Be Saved From Stupid People and other essays
By Dave Duffy
12:24 PM 
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June 30, 2009 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  grumpy
Category: Blogging
I live near West Virginia.  It is a beautiful state, for now  . . .
 

Most of the information from the blog today comes from iLoveMountains.org. A good resourse if you don't want to see the Wild and Wonderful mountains of West Virginia, Kentucky and Tennessee become one big prairie.


It would be great if everytime someone flipped that lightswitch they could hear the blasting that the families in West Virginia mining country hear as the mountaintops are ripped off to get to the coal that is burned to make the electricity they are using.
 
 

What is Mountaintop Removal Mining? Mountaintop removal/valley fill is a mining practice where the tops of mountains are removed, exposing the seams of coal. Mountaintop removal can involve removing 500 feet or more of the summit to get at buried seams of coal. The earth from the mountaintop is then dumped in the neighboring valleys.


CLEARING — Before mining can begin, all topsoil and vegetation must be removed. Because coal companies frequently are responding to short-term fluctuations in the price of coal, these trees are often not even used comercially in the rush to get the coal, but instead are burned or sometimes illegally dumped into valley fills.


BLASTING — Many Appalachian coal seams lie deep below the surface of the mountains. Accessing these seams through surface mining can require the removal of 500-800 feet or more of elevation. Blowing up this much mountain is accomplished by using millions of pounds of explosives.


DIGGING — Coal and debris is removed by using this piece of machinery, called a dragline. A dragline stands 22 stories high and can hold 24 compact cars in its bucket. These machines can cost up to $100 million, but are favored by coal companies because they displace the need for hundreds of jobs.


PROCESSING — The coal is washed and treated before it is loaded on trains. The excess water left over from this process is called coal slurry or sludge and is stored in open coal impoundments. Coal sludge is a mix of water, coal dust, clay and toxic chemicals such as arsenic mercury, lead, copper, and chromium. Impoundments are held in place by mining debris, making them very unstable.


RECLAMATION — While reclamation efforts such as stabilization and revegetation are required for mountaintop removal sites, in practice, state agencies that regulate mining are generous with granting waivers to coal companies. Most sites receive little more than a spraying of exotic grass seed, but even the best reclamation provides no comfort to nearby families and communities whose drinking water supplies have been polluted and whose homes will be threatened by floods for the hundred or thousands of years it will require to re-grow a forest on the mined site.

I leave you with this:
Currently listening:
Take Me Home Country Roads
By John Denver
Release date: 1997-06-17
11:42 AM 
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June 29, 2009 - Monday 

Category: Blogging

Current mood:  grumpy
Category: Blogging
Stop the windmills before it's too late!
As an 82 year old lifelong resisident of this region, and a concerned citizen, I am angered at the thought of the God given beauty of East River Mountain being destroyed by a proposed windfarm project.  I am also disturbed by the project's potential impact on the local coal industry, on our water supply, and the incread likelihood of flooding caused by clear-cutting the mountain tops.

Sounds pretty bad doesn't it?  The evil wind farmers are going to come in and strip the beautiful, scenic mountain tops bare and put these extremely dangerous windmills up and just ruin it for everybody.

But you know what?  Let's save the coal industry.  What's a little mountaintop removal mining if we can save a few jobs here locally?


 

Instead of some pretty windmills on top of our mountains let's just blast them flat and fill in the valley's nearby.  The valleys where people live, go to school, hunt, fish and raise families.


 

Yep, let's just turn our valley's into wastelands.

You know where that coal is going?  It is going to fuel coal fired power plants that provide about half of the electricity generated in this country.  You know how much greenhouse gas gets pumped out of the top of those smoke stacks?


 

Gues what happens to the dust and ash they remove from the stacks.  This material is stored in dikes right next to the power plant and next to the rivers that usually run by power plants to provide the coolant.  Here is an excerpt from a Tennessee newspaper about what happens when things go wrong with these "fly ash ponds".

A breach in an earthen dike caused toxic ash from the Kingston coal-fired power plant to devastate over 400 acres in Tennessee. The Tennessee Valley Authority estimates that 3.1 million cubic yards of ash and water leaked from the holding pond. The sludge contaminated the surrounding area and moved down the Emory River.

But that's ok, just don't put those damn ugly windmills on top of our beautiful mountains.  It may scare the tourists away.


You don't like to see windmills on top of your scenic mountain ridges?  You didn't seem to mind the 765kv power lines that cut great swaths through the national forests and that I can see atop East River Mountain every day I drive through town.

 

You didn't seem to mind and still dont mind seeing cell phone towers go up on top of all the highest mountaintops in this great scenic region.  No, as long as you have lots of bars on your cell phones you don't mind this at all.

 

I'm looking out my window at East River Mountain right now.  Want to know what I see?  I see power lines, Cell phone towers, fire towers, and high voltage power lines.  Would I mind seeing a couple of windmills? 

 

I would much rather see these windmills than another couple dozen cell phone towers.

How about you?  Renewable power brought to us by wind mills?  Or deplete our fossil fuels by getting our electricity from coal?
Currently listening:
Wind Songs
By Michael Hoppé and Tim Wheater
Release date: 2001-05-22
6:34 AM
 
Bambi
Bambi Loving

 
Oh, how I love opinionated people that, not only have an opinion, but make darn good sense! I think the windmills grace a landscape with a kind of sculptured beauty. I'd take them any day over the 765kv power lines that sound like they're frying something along the back road where I take my evening walks. Preach on!
 
Posted by Bambi on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 8:07 AM
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♥Shelly♥

 
As we were driving back from Telluride we saw many wind mills.  I don't think they looked bad at all.  Some people are not open to change.

 
Posted by ♥Shelly♥ on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 9:02 AM
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Snarly Old Man
Snarly Old Man

 
I bet when the 83 year old writer of the letter to the editor was growning up there were still hitching posts and buggy whip makers in every town.
 
Posted by Snarly Old Man on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 9:17 AM
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Janice D
Janice Darlene Devine

 
You make some very good points here. I live about 4 miles from a TVA power plant and across the river from another power plant, and people can't figure out why the cancer rate is so high in our community!

Give me the windmills anyday!
 
Posted by Janice D on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 9:09 AM
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Dez

 
What are all those poor men who planned on dying of Black Lung Disease going to do with wind power?  Don't windmills lop off bird heads in mid flight? 

One of my best friends lives off the grid.  She uses solar panels and a windmill for energy.  I actually envy her the freedom.  I'm all about renewable energy...

This was too true for a snarly label, though.  Maybe you can gripe about something trivial later?

 
Posted by Dez on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 9:42 AM
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Snarly Old Man
Snarly Old Man

 
Yeah, sorry.  This wasn't petty enough.  Maybe I'll do another "30 Minutes at Walmart" post. 
 
Posted by Snarly Old Man on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 10:18 AM
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Missa

 
"...Daddy won't you take me back to Mulenberg County, down by the Green River where paradise lays? Well, I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking. Mr. Peabody's coal train done hauled it away..."  ... John Prine.


 
Posted by Missa on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 11:15 AM
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Ben

 
There's a big windmill station north of me near the Colorado/Wyoming border. I don't think it looks bad at all. I'm not sure how much power it generates, that would be a good thing for me to look up, but it beats power lines and cell phone towers any day.
 
Posted by Ben on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 11:18 AM
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Perky Little Sister

 

Some damned people can't think and i think it is a disease that is spreading!

 
Posted by Perky Little Sister on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 1:42 PM
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Sinister Wednesday

 
Living downriver from Detroit is WAY scarier than Windmills! Not only do we have HUGE high tension lines and towers crisscrossing the entire area, we also get all that nice pollution coming at us from the North. In the River AND in the air! That's why I refuse to quit smoking: if I'm gonna inhale shit, then I get to pick some of it!
Anyway, I'd take the Mountain view with some windmills over the view of Detroit from the Rouge Bridge!!!!!!     If I find a pic of what I'm talking about, I'll send it over here.....

 
Posted by Sinister Wednesday on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 2:13 PM
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Sinister Wednesday

 
Ahh, Here's one!




 
Posted by Sinister Wednesday on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 2:19 PM
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Shelley
Shelley Bean

 
I saw a show once that spoke of windmills and how annoying they were to the neighbors (sorry for their luck living so close...) but the actual shadows drove them bonkers...ok, maybe not BONKERS..and not quite postal...help me out here....
But imagine, if you will, sitting in a sun filled room, then a shadow like an airplane passing overhead and the sun turns back on, then off, then on, then off
 
Posted by Shelley on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 4:54 PM
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Bridget & Nova
Bridget Neal. Nova Pedro

 
Thank God. Uneducated people drive me nuts. Sometimes you need to look at ALL of the facts before damning something. We have to make a change in the workd before there isn't one left. And you can't even blame stupidity on age. I had a friend tell me that mountain top mining was the only way to do it and if I voted against it we wouldn't have lights. REALLY!!!!!???????!!!!!!! Gee, seems there were coal miners before mountain top removal. There is also solar and the oh so lovely windmills. Stupid people should be buried under the "reclaimations" and sludge ponds.
 
Posted by Bridget & Nova on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 5:53 PM
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Michelle

 
Amen - bring on the renewable energy!
 
Posted by Michelle on June 23, 2009 - Tuesday - 9:47 PM
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Guerrillero

 
Dam good write! I live in West Texas, and they are all over the place. They take some getting used to, but I'm all for renewable resources.
 
Posted by Guerrillero on June 24, 2009 - Wednesday - 11:56 PM
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♥ April ♥
Halloweens.. Mistress

 

Renewable sources are great, but what are you going to do when there isn't wind to power the wind turbines?  Or how about when the wind blows too fast for the wind turbines and they shut down?

What kills me is the fact you post pics of old, ugly power plants.  The new power plants being built are more effecient and cause less pollution than automobiles.  Try doing research on new power plant technogoly and cleaner buring coal and you'll find it isn't the horror story everyone makes it out to be.

I apologize, I'm tired as I write this, but if you'd like more facts on how clean coal fired power plants are, I'll be more than happy to provide you with numbers.


 
Posted by ♥ April ♥ on June 25, 2009 - Thursday - 6:18 AM
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Snarly Old Man
Snarly Old Man

 
If you would like to have facts on how the wind turbines automatically shut down when the wind blows too hard I'd be glad to provide you with that.  And if the wind isn't blowing at all?  Well, we have great big deserts out West that would be perfect for solar power.  Coal is coal.  It is going to give off greenhouse gasses no matter how new the plant it burns in is.  Coal is also the reason mountaintops are removed and miners crawl around underground for 30 years only to have horrible medical problems later in life.  Blank Lung anyone? 

Let's try to come up with some renewable energy source instead of staying stuck in the same loop of burning our descenants futures today.
 
Posted by Snarly Old Man on June 25, 2009 - Thursday - 7:53 AM
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Zinger
Henry Notlastnam..e

 

You fail to mention the COST of these alternatives.  Coal is CHEAP.  Nuclear is clean.  Wind and especially solar are EXPENSIVE.
 
Posted by Zinger on June 25, 2009 - Thursday - 9:23 PM
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Snarly Old Man
Snarly Old Man

 
Coal is cheap for US.  Maybe our children and grandchildren.  But since we aren't putting much money in the space program to get us off this third rock from the sun, then we better start thinking about the long run.  And not just that Eagles song either.
 
Posted by Snarly Old Man on June 25, 2009 - Thursday - 11:56 PM
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Zinger
Henry Notlastnam..e

 
Do you understand the agenda of our current administration to drive up the cost of our existing energy sources to make the expensive "green" options more competative?  The end result is much higher cost for the consumer for nearly everything we buy since everything takes energy to produce and deliver, reduced demand for those products, layoffs across the board and the continued decline of America.  Change is what they want all right.  The House is supposed to vote ont he "Cap and Trade" bill any day now.  It would be the largest tax increase in World history.  It should be called the "Tax and Kill" bill.
 
Posted by Zinger on June 28, 2009 - Sunday - 5:24 PM
[Reply to this]  [<a href="http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&amp;friendId=440580001&amp;blogId=496412682&amp;commentID=100020" onclick="function onclick() { if(confirm('Are you sure you want to remove this blog comment?')){return true;} else{re
10:40 AM 
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June 28, 2009 - Sunday 

Current mood:  eccentric
Category: Blogging

How to have a perfect life:
 

Margarita

Ingredients:

    1 1/2 oz Tequila
    1/2 oz Triple Sec
    1 oz Lime juice
    Salt

Mixing instructions:

Rub rim of cocktail glass with lime juice, dip rim in salt. Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into the salt-rimmed glass, and serve.

From that, you get this:

 

Then you sit back and listen to this:

Nibblin' on sponge cake
Watchin' the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing
Smell those shrimp
They're beginnin' to boil
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
But I know it's nobody's fault
Don't know the reason
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo
But it's a real beauty
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven't a clue
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
Now I think - hell it could be my fault
I blew out my flip flop
Stepped on a pop top
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
But I know, it's my own damn fault
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame
And I know it's my own damn fault

And then if you win the lottery you could go live here:

Margaritaville Island


Currently listening:
Meet Me In Margaritaville: The Ultimate Collection
By Jimmy Buffett
Release date: 2003-04-15
12:24 PM 
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June 26, 2009 - Friday 

Category: Blogging
 

This is what I saw in my rear view mirror last night.
Have you ever looked up, seen the police car, and STILL did whatever it was he was going to pull you over for?  Last night there was a jerkwad in front of me doing about 15 MPH in a 45 MPH zone.  So, I figured when we came to the next intersection whichever way he turned, I was going to turn the other way.

Well, he turned right, the same way I usually turned on the way home. So, I prepared to turn left.  There was absolutely no traffic coming.  Nobody but that cop sitting in the parking lot across the street.  Looked both ways - looked at the stop sign - rolled on through. F'CK!!!

I had JUST passed over the state line. TWICE.  If I had just kept going straight instead of turning right I would have gone over the state line again and been in West Virginia, with a Virginia cop behind me.  DAMN!

Anyway, he came up behind the car, standing behind me on the driver's side.  I had to twist waaayyy around to hand him the driver's license and registration he asked for.  He looked at the documents and them handed one of them back.  I had mistakenly handed him my handicapped parking card.  I cleared up the mistake and gave him the registration.
He was back in his car  F O R E V E R.  I thought about the local car dealer who has the same last name as me and had been arrested for swindling people.  I thought of taxes that hadn't been paid.  I thought of that dead body in the trunk....wait, forget that last thing.

Anyway, the cop finally comes back and gives me my license and registration back.  He says he is just going to give me a warning for the stop sign.  But, being all concerned and everything, he said I needed to get the Virginia inspection sticker on my car to replace the West Virginia inspection sticker.  NOOOO!  How could that be?  This is a brand new car.  I thought the dealer would have put the correct inspection sticker on!!!

Actually I knew.  I was just too cheap to go get the Virginia inspection done.

Then he said, "and make sure to put your seatbelt on."  Ahhhh Hahhhh!  I said, "Look you f'cking  blind MORON, I DO HAVE MY SEATBELT ON.  If you would step up a little closer and not worry about me opening the door and jumping out to thrash you, you would clearly see that I have my f'cking seatbelt firmly fastened around my ample midsection!!!"

Well, what I really said way, "I DO have my seatbelt on." But I said it in a highly indignant tone.  Then I thought....."he is going to jerk me out of my car and pistol whip me if I keep this up.  I turned on my lights, dropped the shift lever into D and got the hell out of there, breathing a sign of relief that I didn't have to pay a ticket.

Have you managed to get out of a ticket lately?  How did it come down?
11:42 AM 
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