It was cold, dark and desolate where I parked on race morning. Even the homeless people didn't seem to want to be there. And I had a sense of impending doom as I was about to face the unknown. Making my way towards the start area I tried to get positive, absorb and share in the excitement of all the other runners funneling toward the corrals, but to no avail. In the dark of night a bad shadow was following me to the starting line of my first marathon.

To me at least, the first and biggest mistake I made was obviously the one-month training buildup. Over Labor Day weekend & the week that followed, I ran 8 out of 9 days for the first time (all slow miles btw), having only been a 3 or 4 day per week, 20 mpw runner in the 1.5 years I had run up to that point. From 20 to 40 mpw in one week is a bad idea all by itself, but I ran them all slowly and injury free, which gave my confidence a dangerous boost. I got through that little jogging bender in good shape and thinking 40 mpw was sustainable, so I decided I would try to average at least 35 mpw through the month of September, get a couple long runs in and take a shot at a marathon on 10/19/08. I hit my mileage goals each week, nailed an 18 and 20 miler on hilly dirt roads (but with walk breaks every 15 minutes) and in my first weekend of a 3 week taper, ran a 30 minute pr of 1:48 at a half-marathon on October 5, clearly a dream race and the best of my short running 'career' so far. Confidence was soaring. According to the online pace calculators, I was sub-4:00 bound. Shyeah, right.

The second mistake was starting with the 3:50 group. I figured I would stay with them as long as I could, then fade but try to hold on at the end to get in just under 4:00. Problem was, by mile 12 I was thinking man I'm already pretty sore and tired and I wish I was only doing the half today. Third mistake was taking zero walk breaks up to that 12 mile point, even though I'd been taking them in my training. Thought several times about being sensible, stopping at 13.1 and saving my first full for another day. Fourth mistake, kept going. I think my half split was in the mid to upper 1:50's, but I knew that basically meant absolutely nothing because of the realization that, without a sliver of doubt, I was a dead man running.

One area I thought I handled well was fueling. I drank early & often, sucked down 8 gu's and even "did the salt". Calf Cramps wouldn't be the death of me this day; instead, it was just the classic combo of being overzealous and undertrained. I simply ran outta legs Way before I ran outta course. It was somewhat prophetic (and for the best) that I left my Garmin in the car this morning. My thinking was that there'll be mile splits yelled out, and I'd see pacer signs bouncing above the sea of runners, so it really wasn't needed. My additional rationale was that I'd run "free" and spend more time enjoying the day and looking at the scenery without it. I'm certain the numbers on that watch would've made me push even harder trying to keep that absurd early pace longer and I would've Wall-ed even earlier.

I read a library worth of running books, went onto RWOL discussion boards constantly every day reading, studying, asking, learning...but apparently not remembering. I must've seen the words "DON'T GO OUT TOO FAST" in various forms and mediums at least 400 times in the past 1.5 months, and yet it just didn't register with me when I needed it to the most.

Are we human beings so ego-centric, overconfident and prideful that START SLOW somehow becomes an admission of inadequacy, failure and defeat before a race even starts? That's one thing I wondered about as I gave absolutely everything I had inside of me just to try to keep about a 12 minute pace around mile 21. This train of thought progressed into a realization of how absolutely humbling an experience it is to go out with such high hopes, bash into the Wall and then have to hobble all the way to the finish, becoming winded even by the walk breaks, every mile feeling like 4. The marathon, I now knew, is a distance that commands and demands the ultimate respect.

Though I 'personally' planned & hoped for sub 4, I finished in 4:29. Told my friends, family and co-workers I was thinking it would take between 4 and 5 (just to be safe and give myself a wide time range in case I struggled which I most certainly did), so I guess I met my 'public' goal pretty much right on the number. Honestly when I first decided to do this, my intention was to just get this first one out of the way, see what 26.2 really feels like and then take that knowledge into my training for my second full, which would be awesome, fast and strong, maybe around 3:30. Now with the IT band on high alert on my left leg and a right quad so crippled I can barely lift my heel off the ground, I'm having to re-assess what it means to be a long distance runner, wait out the healing of the lumps I took and prepare to start all over again from scratch. Next time, I'll remember.

That all being said, though I'm humbled and in significant pain, I am a marathoner, it's a whole new world now and that part of it feels really, really good.

My own personal contribution to the world is: "Write On." Here's what the pros have & had to say. Enjoy. Or, don't.

 

"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. Music is the electrical soil, in which the spirit lives, thinks and invents." --- Ludwig van Beethoven

"Where words fail, music speaks." --- Has Christian Andersen

"Music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me." --- Billy Corgan

"There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another." --- Frank Zappa

"When you feel in your gut what you are and then dynamically pursue it—don't back down and don't give up—then you're going to mystify a lot of folks." --- Bob Dylan

"Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought." --- E.Y. Harburg

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." --- Victor Hugo

"Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got." --- Janis Joplin

"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people can own it." --- John Lennon

"It had never occurred to me before that music and thinking are so much alike. In fact you could say music is another way of thinking, or maybe thinking is another kind of music." --- Ursula K. Le Guin

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything." --- Plato

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." --- Elvis Presley

"In music one must think with the heart and feel with the brain." --- George Szell

"I would advise you to keep your overhead down; avoid a major drug habit; play everyday, and take it in front of other people. They need to hear it, and you need them to hear it." --- James Taylor

"Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us." --- Unknown