Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 38
Sign: Aries
City: Los Angeles
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/25/2007
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October 31, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Once when I was
little, I woke up late around 3:30 in the morning on a Wednesday (I recall this
specifically) … I said, “ma, ma, I just had a dream that you received a phone
call and Mrs. Filippelli passed away. Is it Friday?” My mother reassured me not
to worry. Go back to bed. I did. And a few days later, that moment in my dream
came true. Mrs. Filippelli called her family to the hospital where she was
admitted. Looked in each loved one’s eyes, held their hands, and said her final
goodbyes. She was like a Godmother to me.
Then, a few years ago, I saw my boyfriend’s grandmother
stand at the foot of our bed. I told him the story of my dream, which seemed so real. He was very interested and asked me more right away since he
hadn’t seen her in a very long time of coming to America. I described her from
head to toe and said, “Well, she looked real peacefully on at us, like an
angel.” My boyfriend went to work on set that morning and called me not
long afterwards. He couldn’t stop crying. His grandma had passed away probably
around the same time of me seeing her in my dream. I don’t think that she came to say
“goodbye” though...; for I never even met her. I believe that she came to say
instead, “hello”. Our lives seem to slowly improve from that point. There were
quite a few small miracles.
But, not
every story of mine was warm and comforting in that sense. There is a dark side and I’m not afraid
to talk about it since it is past me. To begin: I sent out an e-mail last fall,
right around this time of year. Asked anyone if they ever have had a dream in their
lifetime of shadow people? And if so, can you please tell me more specifically?
Nothing to be scared about; I was just curious…blah, blah, blah.....
The e-mails
returned....
One of the best ones was from one of my closest school friends. She
said that I wouldn’t believe it if she told me but her, her sister, and her
mother … all three women had the same vision of a man in a top hat and black
trench coat when they moved in together. This also was a sad time period for
the ladies, not to get into details. One by one, they started dropping hints
and discussing it amongst each other, adding more details. Then, all the women
prayed and “it” did not reappear. She thought no one would believe her. But, I
do.....
Here’s my
story....
Since my
youth, I’ve had a repeated dream about a shadow man. The nightmares grew so
scary, I finally told my mother about them. He was tall, thin, pale, and all
dressed in black; wearing a 3-piece suit, black trench coat and hat that
gentlemen in the 19c. wear. Oh, yeah, he was wearing this big floppy black hat.
And sometimes he had a glow in the center of him. My mother said, “Do you
mean like a square light in front of his chest?” and described the same man to
me. She continued on to say one year before my aunt and she came to America,
they lived together in a German town called Landshut. Well, one night, as they
were sleeping in the same bed, they both woke up at the exact second and
screamed to the high heavens. My mom said, “Did you see him?” and my aunt responded
quietly back, almost in waking shock, “…yes” and then, described this exact
same figure, who had stood at the foot of their bed.
I just
found it odd. Especially when my father saw that
same man, too. He felt someone wiggle his toes (Don't laugh! It’s true…) and
woke up still in a dream to see a man dressed in black, who met a similar description as
all of ours.
The dreams seem to all disappear for me in 1994 after a very
religious lady named Grace put me in her prayer circle for years. I won’t tell
you about that night because it was one of the scariest nights of my life. O.K. Maybe, I will. I
nearly died, or so it sure felt that way, as in my last dream of the Hat Man. He
stared undeniably into my eyes. Honestly, I had a guardian angel on my side
because I woke up out of my bed, onto the floor by my roommate’s metal bed frame.
I could have snapped my neck on it--if it weren’t for her putting a big bed rest
pillow there in the exact spot where I would fall in the night. Coincidence? She had witnessed me flying out of the bed; it was that terrific of a nightmare. She could have never predicted that happening; but maybe, something inside her--did...
Here, I researched and found that many people around the world
has seen the Hat Man, too, in their dreams. It’s a worldwide phenomenon. It
seems to me as if the Hat Man appears and quickly leaves. The timing can be
significant, maybe not. Overall, he seems like an observer and someone who I
could care very little about.....
Focus is on positive energy, people, and learning. And often that comes
with having very little fear of the unknown.
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October 20, 2009 - Tuesday
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Category: Life
I was sent the Lotus Touts today. Wish to share it with you.
***
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want...
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it..
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! ..... When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
***
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September 28, 2009 - Monday
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Category: Blogging
Continuation
from last blog: Taken from "My Headache Diaries".......
When I
spent my summers in Germany, my grandma would always ask me in the morning—Did
I dream? The answer was most often, “yes”. They were always vivid and always
long to tell. However one day, she asked me again--if I dreamed. I said
that I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything at all. I must have dreamt
something just couldn’t retrieve it. Then, she said, “Wonderful. You finally
had a good night’s sleep!” She was right in saying. I slept so beautifully. My sister in her sleep study recently told me that when we remember all our dreams so intensely...we are not letting the body and mind fully get the rest it needs. (I believe Edgar Cayce would have agreed!..)
I’ve had
the majority of my life these bad headaches/migraines; they come and go as they
please. So had my mother, sisters, and many other women in my family line
experienced. It appears to me that women, like my mother, who passed menopause
seem to do much better. Seldom have headaches/migraines once passed this stage.
I’m guessing that headaches/migraines are a big part hormonal and genetic or at
least what I see. I tried explaining this to my first visit to a Neurologist;
but today is different. It’s not like in the old days … say when the doctor
came to my grandma’s house and could feel her…read her, and knew exactly what
to do. Nowadays, doctors relay heavily on tests or perhaps, the lawsuits play a
big factor—playing it safe; I mean after all, the doctor did ask about my head
injuries since a child. I must say after sharing many stories—I know very
little about the brain. I’m just happy that I can think, meditate, and began my
headache journals.
Right now, I am having a good
day. And I’ve pretty much eliminated all the foods which trigger
headaches/migraines (that I know of, well, except for organic milk, cheese, avocadoes…and peanuts found in my health bars)....that includes: Bananas, figs, raisins,
dairy products (ice cream/yogurt, sour cream), fermented and
pickled products, citrus fruits, papaya, passion fruit, red plums, chocolate, lentils, nuts, onions, pea pods, lima
bean pods, saccharin/aspartame, yeast containing products (white breads).........
I don’t
take any meds, yet, and eliminated all aspirin with caffeine. So clueless as
what to do in the future of 'the next one"...I'm sure it's coming...; a few of my friends asked me to speak to the doctor about certain
prescriptions that they are taking. Maybe, I'm too careful when putting
something in my system. I read online—certain medications can work against you
or your chemistry.
Meantime,
I’m going to close my eyes for 10 minutes and continue on…........
The day-to-day good & bad stresses can affect the head/body, too, somehow, or I know…I feel. I noticed that when I took a walk in the park and had the right amt. of sunshine (vitamin D), the swelling in my right wrist went down (carpal tunnel syndrome) and also my current headache went away. Just the right amount of sunshine, exercise, and fresh air was my immediate cure from sensory overload. I will practice getting away for at least a week from a lot of this electronic stuff; not just once a year … maybe once every 3 months or so. Go deeper within--into Nature.
Too, I decided
that it couldn’t hurt (except the pocket!) afterall--getting a MRI/MRA now that I’ve been
approved; could even be a life saving grace. Being an Aries, we are known to be
stubborn and sometimes, "clueless"! :) ... or I'll speak for myself.
MRI Scanning has no long term risks. I guess that I worried originally about
all these x-rays and radiation exposure that I've received so far this year.
But a big bulk of radiation exposure, I read ... does not come from medical
x-rays but from natural, unavoidable--sources such as radon gas, the human
body, outer space, and rocks and soil. And my doctor reassured me--not to worry. Maybe, that's my problem...I worry too much! Must be inherited; yes, definitely~
At any
rate, I hope to write further about being treated for headaches/migraines, the
solution--for the very first time after having this problem since the 1st
grade. I don’t know why in life we continue to suffer with our pains for so
long, never asking for help. Well, at least, I can speak for me. I’m no doctor
and I can’t keep playing one. I should be doing less research and more living
and less dreaming and more praying....
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September 15, 2009 - Tuesday
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Category: Blogging
If I reflect back, I can’t begin to tell you how many people have
wished for me an abundance of peace and blessings and likewise the same. But I
just wonder why we are always wishing this good when maybe our lives aren’t as
rosy as we would like it to be.
It's been really intense these past few years of moves, flights,
traveling, extreme weather-altitude changes, months of dealing with unexpected
and expected stresses, and weeks … from uncomfortable fluctuations in hormone
levels to family stress to the California wildfires to polluted skies to living
in the Top 3 Most Stressful Cities (NYC, LA) for as long as I remember, silently
reflecting this past 9/11. Not just for me … what I’ve been hearing, a lot of
inner battles, too. As a friend said, “They are necessary, but tough to go
thru.” Sometimes, a total drag for sure, especially when the
headaches/migraines that you have suffered with lifelong, come back the hardest
ever.
And “transition time always causes chaos,” they say.
What I’ve learned to tell myself recently: I will only handle what
I can. Block as much negativity from throwing me totally out of balance.
I was referred to a Neurologist already a few months back; but I really
don’t need another CT scan (They are equivalent to 800-900 x-rays I hear). They
are ordering these like crazy, it seems, and it just makes your insurance go
up. And I don’t want to take any prescription painkillers. They just put a
band-aid over the symptoms, and if taken in a long period of time, I may have
some serious health conditions that I would like to avoid at all costs. I believe the major problem is stress and a good part—inherited.
Made my own diagnosis. So, I canceled. I don’t exhibit any signs of a brain
tumor or a mental disorder (right?!) so why waste time and money.
What I am doing is or was—pushing my brain....worrying constantly
and must give myself time to find the source(s). I know doctors do know best to
a certain degree; however, everything is so money oriented. One must be
careful.
A lovely lady in her 80s said, “I’m no the kind to get
depressed, honey; but with the way the economy is going…the way things are or
what I’m seeing…feeling…experiencing through my eyes…my family's, I’m starting
to get real down…” All I can do is hug her.
Though, I think what’s going on here is sad; but thank God for a
brain. Up until this point, I sadly never quite used it in the way that I
should—in dealing with my headaches/migraines. I’ve taken Excedrin Extra
Strength
my entire life until the late 90s when I made the switch to Excedrin
Migraine.
The pain seemed to go away but always came back harder yet, a “rebound effect”.
Wasn’t easy withdrawing from almost 25 years of taking the pills; I had been
able to successfully quit soda (all diet products), coffee, other pain remedies
like Midol but not quite so much my tea & chocolate … and wine &
aged cheeses on occasion. Well, black tea has the Vitamin P in it, a powerful
anti-oxidant that fights free radicals; so taking it away from me is like
taking away my security blanket! Don’t even try. You can always find Vitamin P
in some citrus fruits, vegetables (onions, kale, green beans, broccoli, endive,
celery, cranberries, etc.), and even apples! Never was a big fan of apples,
though…just the BIG APPLE!
....
Taking another bite in locating the sources: Even I say that I
have stopped taking artificial sweeteners a long time ago; yet find myself
chewing on gum that contains it. Just quit chewing gum all together since it
put pressure on the nerves anyway (like those who chew tobacco). Detoxing was a
must for me. It was long overdue for relief. Drinking more water than I ever
have in this severe drought we’re experiencing.
So, what did I mainly do for my tension, migraines, or
cluster-chronic headaches? .... Well, I began a Headache Diary—to be
able to pinpoint the headache triggers. All headaches you will find begin from
chemical or emotional (structural) problems. ....
...interesting after my visit with the Dentist (cleaning)...she
said that my teeth had a lot of calcium build-up. I do drink a lot of milk and
eat cheeses. Research has found that migraine sufferers often have low
magnesium and high calcium levels. I didn’t think that I was magnesium deficient
but mental stress, caffeine (tea, etc.), sugar, a high carb/high calcium diet
can all deplete it; maybe, what was causing all these regular headaches over
the years. I even found eating several small meals throughout the day works the
best for me. Keeps from having blood sugar swings. Besides, taking CinnamonForce for blood sugar
balance…I take Magnesium pills now (recommended to me: 400 mg 3x a day; one
before bedtime, avoiding glutamates) … to help the muscles surrounding the
veins and arteries relax, increasing the blood flow ... Can’t forget about
Vitamin Bs (B-2 namely) … or Vitamin C or my 2 teaspoons of honey (an old
folklore given to me by my grandma in Germany) … ....
I'm a big fan now of White Willow Bark; it gave me the similar
results as aspirin (kinder on the stomach). I even hear Feverfew (it’s active
ingredient: parthenolide) works great at the prevention of migraines. Something
that one must take on a regular basis (although not recommended for pregnant or
nursing women, along w/children under two). Read online: Butterbur (reported in Neurology,
Dec. 28, 2004, reduced the occurrence of migraines by 48%); the extract,
Petadolex, by Weber & Weber International is standardized to 15% petasins.
I have tried Cayenne pepper since I’m not a workout daily kind of person.
Boosts the circulatory system, too. Just like Ginger (which inhibits
thromboxane A2, prevents substance that make blood vessels dilate)…or even
Arginine. Oh, even relaxing helped somewhat … yoga, deep breathing. Funny how
we tend to loose focus on something so simple…even to sticking our head in the
freezer (kidding)... placing a packet of frozen vegetables on our temples every now and then~
Out of the cold and into the heat ... another helpful tip was taking lots of hot showers and running the
water on my lower back and neck; filling up part of the tub to let my feet soak
in the warm suds. Don’t have a heating pad or get massages regularly so that
worked for sure. .... And eliminating household pollutants (VOCs emitting
formaldehyde) by buying potted plants to purify the air, metabolizing the pollutants
their leaves draw in (Great ones to try: Boston ferns, azaleas, dragon tree,
dumb cane, peace lilies, dwarf date palm, rubber plants, philodendrons, king of
hearts, lady palm, pot mum, spider plants, English Ivy, etc.). Getting rid of
those non-stick-Teflon coated pans was a good idea. That’s cooking with toxic
gas … no longer walking with the very potent neurotoxin either...permanent
press clothing.
Someday I will have to try message oils: Eucalyptus, Peppermint,
and Rosemary. I use Lavender & Epsom salts in my baths and it works great,
along with Menthol preparations last week. I’ve been drinking Peppermint tea,
which may have some effect internally. I always give anything a shot. Went even
for the first time to a Chiropractor to check my alignment. Never knew how bad
shape I was since birth (came out the wrong way). Hmmm…all so interesting. Just the
sound of the cracks, not sure that I will return; I think that I’m just as
sensitive to sound as visual, bright lights.....
It was without a doubt that I’ve become most sensitive over the
years to electromagnetic fields (cell phones, computers, etc.), as most women seem to be over men. So, even though
I have changed my usual pattern (no longer the occasional rash on my face)…it
was hard to get my bf to change his. It was so habitual for him to bring his
laptop into the bed. I realized one day that I was surrounded by it all. No
escape, even getting some milk/cereal under the kitchen fluorescent lights (I'm
sure that you read the dangers by now) or from the granite countertops to
having carpeting (when I love wooden floors or just tile). Sometimes, it does
not pay to rent (when you can't change things up a bit), especially at a costly
rate just to be close to things in the big city.
All in all, I wish that I could say that I’m 100% healed, no more
headaches, but that’s wishful thinking. I just feel great today—my first day of
real relief in 3 weeks since the biggest fire began in LA County. And, just
trying to get to ALL the sources can give one—one fat headache again! …Well, if
anything, by having a Headache Diary now, they have lessened my headaches a
great deal for the long-term and for that, I’m very grateful. I even gave up my
childhood habit of pulling the sheets-blanket over my head. Maybe, if my bf
would stop watching late night TV to help him sleep…might make sleeping
easier~
Oh, if you have any TIPS, INFO. —REMEDIES…please share. I’m always
learning. I hope that you could learn something from me, too.
I especially look forward to visiting the parks this fall and winter
season. Walking and hiking in nature is one of my favorite things to do. I
think walking is one of the best exercises…well, besides … *smirk*
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September 3, 2009 - Thursday
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Category: Life
I'm a Member of the United Positive Power on Facebook. I get sent many nice Daily Messages by the creator of the group, Joe Tabeling. I
would like to share his latest story called:
A New Hairdo
....
A
little girl was playing in her room while her mother was in the kitchen
cooking. Several minutes went by with the mother not hearing a beep out of her
daughter. Making sure her daughter was all right she went upstairs to her room.
As she opened the door, the mother was shocked to see her daughter on the floor
with a pair of scissors. The daughter had decided her brand new special doll
needed a haircut. Hair lay all around with a bald doll in her daughter’s hand.
“What have you done?” cried the mother. “Don’t worry mommy it will grow back”,
replied the daughter. “It’s a doll honey. Its hair won’t grow back”, exclaimed
the mother. The daughter, being upset, threw the doll to the floor. The shock
from hitting the floor triggered a button on the back of the doll. Hair started
to emerge from the doll’s head. “See I told you mommy”, cried the daughter.
“You’re right”, the mother replied as she remembered why she bought the new
doll in the first place.
There are times in our lives where we believe in
something that others don’t. Their non-belief can sometimes be so strong that
it alters our belief. “Never assume the possible but always believe in the
impossible.”
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August 22, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
The
Greatest Hope is "The Hope Rope" of the humble.
....
Last
night in my dream, I saw an urban cowboy coming down a hallway. He was
heading to teach a class on How to Spin a Rope {Lariat Throwing, Rope
Spinning, Trick Cowboy Knots}. It appeared as if he was walking with his head
down, while he was breaking in a new rope. I peered in the nearby classroom; saw a few dozen young men and very few percentage of females—sitting quietly in
their chairs, holding ropes with knots, waiting in an upright position ...
perhaps, for the next lesson. Then, I passed by a large group of young ladies
who were waiting, too, sitting table after table row after row, for something
good to be served.
Only
one young student noticed me—out of them all. I guess there’s always someone
out there—watching you, looking at you deeply as if you are carrying a hidden
message or one of special meaning. And perhaps, to that outsider, you may
appear as if you are walking alone, searching for wealth but never truly
finding it. Some may call you—LOST. That’s the magic of a dream; you have to
have an escape plan. Get out the same way you came in; find someone you trust
to wake up with and “smell the coffee”. And where was I going to, out of this school? I don’t know ... but my soul passed into another dream after that
one: I woke up in a comfy, warm bed … found myself sleeping in a romantic log
cabin. As I rose to the other living space, I picked up two empty picture
frames made of natural materials. I looked in the corner of the dining area
where my partner was working, paper spread out on the cedar table. ....
When
I did finally wake early this morning into reality (in my bed in LA), I asked: what should I be
looking for here? (…since I highly value my dreams).
Well,
a cowboy has always represented: real and authentic. Perhaps, in this dream, it
represented a person who manages others and keeps them in line (as a cowboy
manages cattle). We tend to think upon our Independence, but not too much
freedom for the cattle. But, for the large part ... could just be a
symbol of the American Frontier, backwards and forwards to the modern-day,
where one places value on hard work and individualism once again. Success simply can spell out honesty, courage, self-reliance, strength, common
sense, etc. Success can be--to be appreciative and thankful: I haven’t forgotten my paternal
ancestors (Scot--Irish) and my maternal ancestors (German-Swiss). People who built the first homes in
America—the log cabins. I came from small beginnings, humble origins; Today, I travel over unknown ground … slightly becoming
familiar.....
We
all need a meaningful road to travel. We all need someone to travel with ... And
sometimes, we need to be quick on our feet, picking up a lot of trivia,
stories, and fairytales … hopefully more friends, more meaningful connections,
and more food for the soul.
One
thing is for sure: “Be You”. Don’t always rely on people’s opinions. Listen,
but not always. I mean, after all, people who lived in log cabins back in the
day were teased, “nothing more than uncultured hillbillies”. How masterfully
one or a group can proceed to turn that image into something to be proud of
(that even American Presidents wished to have been born and raised in log
cabins or may have like President Lincoln)—to embody the symbol of an honest American life.
It’s amazing to dream. To dream is good, but some ask why even do it…? A high
level of skill, talent, energy, and research is needed even to alter plans (if they
have failed or changed direction)—to build those dreams into reality or back again into reality. We may
have a different vision on how to construct the type of home—environment we
wish to build; but we seem to always question its end (as things may not have
turned out the way we had envisioned or would have liked them to be).....
I don’t think there is ever an easy way out … but, if an easy way comes
along, I just may take it!
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August 18, 2009 - Tuesday
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Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Sunday’s
always a fine day for a drive or a long walk by the ocean …
This
past Sunday, my partner and I headed towards San Pedro to catch the sunset.
Although, it was a hazy day, and not much for taking pictures … Just a mental
picture ... of a cat hiding partially in some brush, sitting on the edge of a steep
cliff overlooking the Pacific. The cat had
the greenest eyes. We connected almost instantly.
Moments
earlier, my mother called me on my cell: Spoke of a dream she had remembered
from the night before. In her dream, I was walking near the edge of water
[frozen solid]. My mother was nervous that I would fall in and break thru the
ice. Meantime, my aunt—with her cat—raced ahead.
Then, it
hit me. Frozen
almost in fear … scared, I panicked. I could see the cat falling over the cliff
to the rocks and rough waters below … and that gave me courage to come closer and call
for the cat. The cat appeared weak, not moving at first; perhaps, she was
exhausted, tired, thirsty, hungry, abused…....
Crazy
thoughts were spinning in my head. Flashbacks
came to a time period (over 15
years ago) when a roommate saved me in a situation, which could have turned
real bad, real quick: And to a time where I saved her—through my dream of a
fire, in which I woke up for real and smelled smoke (the fire alarm never went
off in our townhouse at that time, only in my head). I quickly alerted my other
two roomies and we raced downstairs—only to see her bed smoking, and got her
off her bed real quick. She must have fallen in a deep sleep with cigarette in
hand. Reminded me of our old neighbor back in the day, Mr. K, who dreamt his
house burned down and three days later, for real, it did. It was relayed thru
me that their fire started in the same manner.....
So Dreams,
Visions … I take seriously. I always have. Now, to get
to the moment of spotting the green-eyed cat this past Sunday … I was careful in luring
her away from the edge and manage to successfully, pulling her through my voice
alone. When my
partner and I came home, I didn’t think anything of it, and later just twitted
it. Not sure why really … I guess that I’ve become more programmed that I’d
like to be.....
....
But
something strong hit me today … I remembered a scene from the TV show In Plain Sight (the
last episode, “Don’t Cry for Me Albuquerque” when the character Mary Shannon
got shot) ... A woman (in
the witness protection program), Francesca Garcia, spoke to Mary’s partner in
the hospital, Marshall Mann (as Frederick Weller), and said to him (after he
confronted her, believing it was part Francesca's fault, her doing…):
“She didn’t get
shot because she was protecting me; she got shot because she over-reacted.”....
And, maybe,
that’s what I would have done if it hadn’t been for my mother’s dream of
warning, not to get too close to the edge. Maybe, the ground wouldn’t be able
to sustain my weight and I would have fallen. Below me, I could see the Sunken
City (a city which unexpectedly sunk back in 1929, oddly around the time of the
1929 stock market crash and the Great Depression; seeing old broken sidewalks
and streets left behind was eerie). The grounds must not be that stable, hanging
dangerously off a cliff.......
So, I’m not
so sure if I truly protected the cat after all, or just reacted out of my very
own fear … of falling. One thing is for sure, I learned out of that very
personal experience on Sunday and thru other tragedies … like in NYC--8 years
ago, up close … Don’t take things for granted: everything, anything …people, animals,
even your home to your work to your very own life … and that’s all that there is to it. But maybe, not quite…....
I’m still
figuring life out. Still appear to be walking on the edge for a breakthrough
(well, more like occasionally) … with a key that can unlock a lot of life’s
mysteries, that is—in my life, a key protected strongly by the Mother of all
Spirits … one of all love and affection.
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August 2, 2009 - Sunday
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Category: Travel and Places
Wehr eine Reise macht Kann was erzählen.....
Who takes a trip has much to tell.....
Recently,
I took a trip across country, back to NYC and Pittsburgh. My “weather
forecasting knees” let me know way ahead of time what the weather would be
like - Rain; been that way for 20 years. Can’t wait for weather to let up when I
travel. I just go like anyone … already waiting for weeks but the glamour of
flying since my first international flight to see my grandma back as a child in
1975 has long faded; didn’t expect to be served lobster with white gloves and
check-in luggage for free.
So far
this summer, it is the coolest on record back home. I read for the 2nd
time in 140 yrs., the temp. failed to reach 90. And, it is the 2nd
wettest summer on record since 1928. One particular night, I swear—it felt like
the coldest evening in July that I ever recall in New York. But I didn’t go
there to spend time at the beach, so enough of the weather chat—on
record-breaking low temperatures and rainfall, cloud covers, and glaciers that
are probably melting.
This summer, I did something real special (skipping out
on a perfect vacation week; you know the one of white sand, transparent ocean,
freedom to do nothing at all): My partner and I took my mother back to the Big
Apple. She hasn’t been there since she came over on the ship from Europe many, many years ago. It was exciting to her as she closed her eyes at one point and it
all came back like it was just yesterday. We sat on a bench by our
hotel in Weehawken, overlooking the Empire State Building and most of Manhattan…....

…and even
a mile away from that now popular Malibu Diner [I’m sure you heard of the news
of that big political scandal in Jersey called “Operation Bid Rig”. Some crazy
day that was: Busloads of NJ politicians (mayors, city councilmen, assemblymen,
political consultants, officials, etc.) and a flock of rabbis and Jewish
leaders were taken to FBI HQ in Newark for booking on corruption and money
laundering.] So, yeah, sure there were many changes since my mother’s arrival
over 40-something years ago and even to me since I left the city in 2007. The
traffic patterns changed (Broadway shut down between 49th- 42nd,
Pedestrians only); avenues/side streets have replaced driving lanes with
parking spots or turning lanes only. Too, the city got rid of most FREE areas for
trucks (unloading, loading). Fewer meters for cars (def. not car friendly),
almost to keep you out of the city, like “come here with mass transit!” I even
noticed less homeless people. Only one man asked me for money on the train (I
used to get asked about 10 times a day or more). However, I heard Mayor Michael
Bloomberg’s administration has been paying to ship the homeless home. Offering one-way tickets to their original hometowns (like Florida, Georgia, the Carolinas, Puerto Rico, even to places abroad like Paris and
South Africa, etc.). In the past 2 yrs., NYC has relocated 564 families by plane,
train, and bus to 24 states and 5 continents. Sure it saves the taxpayers of
New York money but shifts the problem elsewhere... One has to wonder: Do they
have a place to stay on the other end … a good family, a good friend?....
Oh,
couldn’t help but noticed the New York cops go green: those Nissan Altima
hybrid squad cars hit me hard … I mean ‘real hard’; esp. when saw the 1st
foreign hybrid NYC TAXI as well. How could the NYPD replace their American
squad cars? Did they at all consider the domestic Ford Fusion hybrid? I heard
the design of the seats on the Nissan Altimas are already giving officers
trouble (guns dragging across the seat when they get out of cars) and it’s not
going to be anytime soon before this program to save the environment pays back.
Everything
has gone up since leaving town: Tolls (Tunnels by $2; Turnpikes by a couple of
bucks…), Subway (by a quarter), Yellow Cabs, and Parking in some areas—Doubled,
Tripled ($29 hr., $49 for hrs., 3 hrs. fuhgeddaboudit!...). We found a great placed to park on the Upper
East Side - 4 hr. special for $15.21....
So, taxes
on hotels have gone up, too … equaling the cost of the room. But, hey vacations
shouldn’t be about how much money you’re throwing away … so, to continue … when
we paid $6.95 for the Jersey turnpike, it reminded me of the cost of this cake
bought in Little Italy. Ridiculous Tiramisu squashed into a dessert glass:
Thrown in there like a scoop of ice cream. (It was on the house...obviously).
Whoever baked it made a mistake. It didn’t turn out and still, they sold it
…‘cause they don’t wish to loose out; but they lost out on business.
We’ll never go back and they know that; but they should get rid of the signs outside "Best Cakes in Town" … And, speaking of
Italy or heavily influenced by, a wonderful place to go for dinner or one that I
enjoy is out of Manhattan, La Porteña Restaurant, an Argentine Cuisine in
Queens. We all ate way too much,
that large of pasta portions; still filled come morning. The bread was great! I
loved to dip it in their spicy herbal sauce called Chimichurri (fresh chopped parsley,
garlic, oregano, red and black pepper, vinegar, and soy oil). The rustic wood
and cowboy atmosphere made me feel at home. Some day, Buenos Aires!!! … Oh, great parking spot with a great view: Dunkin Donuts (Northern Blvd./70th street corner in
Jackson Heights). Went for a cup
of coffee and watched one plane after another fly directly over, landing at LaGuardia.
Oh, and
if you love pizza, which who doesn’t… check out Lombardi’s coal oven pizza,
been around since 1905; The Oldest Pizzeria in America.
So, moving on--into Chinatown, still the same. All kinds of people come up to
you to sell you something: designer gold watches, purses, perfume ... good times!
Getting
to a few good highlights … my partner and I went back to one of the best
dentist not just in the greater NYC area, but I’d say around the world: Brandon
Huang DDS. He’s the owner of Manhattan Smile. I would strongly recommend him
to anyone. He restored my confidence. Extra Bonus: He has an amazing city view; sitting in the chair; one can see Manhattan’s partial skyline instead of just
staring at some wall picture of it.
Interesting
story: just before we got there to his office by yellow cab, we passed by a
private funeral service at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in midtown
Manhattan. It was big. Someone who passed away must have been very famous - my first thought, and a very simple soul just by quick glance of the casket - a
plain wooden one. Well, that person was Walter Cronkite, the granddaddy of TV
news anchors, the most trusted man in America. We all paused in silence in the
cab as he got a loving send-off and his close friends and family wished him ‘good
sailing’ … Reminded me of my great, great grandfather, Bartholomew, the Great
Explorer who traveled the world back in the 1800s … the story I’ve researched
for years in hopes of making it into a screenplay one day. Even found Bartl passing
thru NYC long ago and took my mother to the very spot he lived … no longer a tenement building, now a park on the Lower East Side of town.
Then, my
mother told me of the story between Walter Cronkite and Andy Rooney (they
became such good friends during WWII). I heard Mr. Cronkite had trouble
pronouncing “February” at one time. Mr. Rooney practiced with him until he no
longer had difficulty. My ma said she felt so relieved to hear
that. Coming to America, she once had trouble pronouncing a few words, too. Hey, I still even have trouble with the
German word: Küche (kitchen). Even in my hometown, the Italians from the old
country say Aliquip over Aliquippa, leave last syllables off … and lawnmower is
pronounced Linmor. And how do you say “coupons”? But, my thoughts on the matter
is whatever you say or how you say it is fine as long as I can
understand where you’re coming from … in New York, you know where people are
coming from right away—just by the look on their faces. People still ticked off,
understandably so; the economy isn’t really changing for the better. The weather
is still totally unpredictable, and still tough to haul a cab esp. during rush
hour and in the pouring rain; but the New York Bagels are still the best in the world! My favorite place is Bagel & Co on the upper west side (393 Amsterdam) …Oh, and
people are still curious as ever; rubbernecking still slows down traffic for
miles. Not into vanity license plates, but got close to a cool one on a Hummer:
FeelsGD. Hey for some states, those kinds of plates bring in millions.....
I think
the next ideal getaway from LA would be - do something relaxing, like sleeping by
the pool among palm trees with a frozen coconut drink in hand. Oh, wait, I can
do that this weekend; right across my place…! I’m luckier than I know; and
spotting another ladybug in my place, I think that I’ll go play the lottery,
too. Perhaps win a day with Lady Liberty: A Lucky 240 gets to go up each day …
chosen by lottery (www.statuecruises.com).....
The
process getting closer to see the Statue of Liberty—both islands: Ellis/Liberty
is long. An easy 7 to 9-hour day, (the wait is incredible) not including the
time climbing 354 stairs, 12-story spiral narrow staircase with slippery metal
steps to the Crown (and of course, that experience is already sold-out as only
10 people at a time can go that far with a ranger).
There
will always be another real Head Trip for me … as long as New York remains in
my heart.
I’ve
waited a lifetime for many certain moments. The Sears Tower helped me overcome
my fear of heights; but the World Trade Center brought it back. I was hoping
Miss Liberty would help me overcome my claustrophobia and the feeling of being
cramped. I love how they say … don’t be afraid; it’s designed to
withstand hurricane winds. I’ve heard something similar before. It’s just not
my time. If it were, I may say the exact words that Roman Dial said while
climbing the tallest tree in the world (a koompassia excelsa in NE Borneo):....
“It was sad to look from the top.”
For him, he dreams of a Big
Tree Park and so do I—where the World Trade Center once stood. When we drove
passed Ground Zero, it gave my mother goose bumps, chills … horrible memories;
she still recalls my phone call that morning. It hadn’t even hit the news yet,
for I lived directly across from the towers and saw it all firsthand. We all agree that on thousands of
people’s ashes, you shouldn’t build—well, business buildings that is; but a
Memorial Park with Chapel--where people can go in and pray, kneel/light a
candle, something to light up the Dark … with a Freedom-Clock Tower--a Bell
nearby that rings on the hour would be nice to hear and see on the grounds …
even to touch a glass wall of honored names/heroes. Keep growing trees,
flowers, bushes, grass … drowning out the city noise, pollution, traffic,
conflicts … something simple, like a therapeutic gathering spot … would love to
see a sculpture park actually, one with fountains (good example: Brookgreen Gardens in
South Carolina) where people can walk through; where birds come and sing.
Dedicate benches where people can sit and talk. In time to come, people may not
remember if it is designed otherwise in theory....
But if
there’s anything I’ve learned from my experiences is that … to make the most of
the day. My ma thought this when inside Grand Central Station (viewing the
detailed artwork in the ceiling--the famous mural of the stars-constellations over
the Main Concourse) and cruising later down Museum Mile at night. And, my
father felt this way when we spent some quality time going to the gun range and for a nice walk thru the local park with my 13-year old ...well, 12 1/2 year old Lab; let's not rush things.

Recalling now a
beautiful sight … sunset in Brooklyn by the East River and another gorgeous sun setting
when flying recently over the Grand Canyon, after a bumpy ride over the Western Rockies. Just
sitting here, writing a part of my journey before I doze off into another dream,
after the rain...
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July 4, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Blogging
A friend
across the world—asked what am I doing nowadays; I seem to be maintaining a very
low profile. I am not aggressive the way I used to be a few years ago. Wondered
if I’m depressed. Please share. Well, it’s very difficult times; but I know
that I am strong enough to get through these current rough patches—through my
experiences and may share those stories later in the year. I hope.
What a
nice word … hope. Hanging onto it for sure.
So,
looking back to the last half year, a review: I don’t know how it happened but
thought by leaving New York, it would be less expensive. Not quite. LA beat out
NY for the #1 spot this year—Most expensive US city now to live in & most
polluted—winner for the last 9 years. Just knew things were going downhill in
my country when I started seeing Bentleys’, Rolls Royces', & Limos pulling
up to my local Dollar Store; even saw the new host of The Tonight Show, Conan
O’Brien arriving there with fans one sunny afternoon (well, it was a comedy
bit…).
Keeping cool on a very hot day…holding my breaths in a crappy
economy.
I
adopted a Vegan Diet or let’s just say—gave up meat for good. Told that I
became anemic. Ate more nuts. Went nuts! Learned more of my family health
history; told that I have high blood sugar. Just speechless: So I started
eating a little better or closest to the natural state, became more aware of my
little everyday habits. Ate more nuts again! If you have any health secrets,
please share.
I
joined the Screen Actors Guild; need to get an agent who just might like me …
just may believe in me; but first I got to believe in myself.
Became a
Member of California State Parks Foundation and National Association for Poetry
Therapy. Spent my 38th Birthday with my long love on top of Mt.
Wilson, overlooking all of Los Angeles. And after 20 years of renting here and
there, we planted a seed of thought for making this town our home—we just need
a place to plant some roots.
Still wondering if I am somebody yet or just a number…....
....
Saved a
Life. And discovered a new life inside of me; found a strong desire to visit what’s
outside of me—sacred places.
Forgave
more than I ever had.
Experienced more California Earthquakes above 4.0. Felt
more pain; Felt more joy! Solid as a rock: Gained a few love pounds & lost
it always by morning. Gained it back always by night: Always the same. Told I’m
normal, like in everyway; but not real sure about that…!
Received
more messages in dreams. Paid more attention to WAKE-UP calls: Started Juicing.
Picked back up daily Meditation & Yoga to keep life in balance. Feel like I
should be doing something more and probably will…anything on the lines which
favors a minimalist style—healthy, creative, and green. That's me!....
…Discovered
how highly adaptable that I’ve been in Destructive or Breakdown Phases. Woo-hoo!....
Saw a lot
of ladybugs, hummingbirds, and butterflies—made up for breaking the hand held
mirror. Said the hell to Superstitions!
Had a few
family members and friends get real scary sick; some even passed away
(including my aunt of Alzheimer’s and my uncle of Diabetes). Obtained Health
Insurance after having a few years without; started preventive medicine.
Branched out more into new areas of exploration like Natural Health,
Psychology, Therapy, and interesting subjects such as Shamanic Studies and Kabbalistic
Astrology (Dates back to a system of wisdom over 5000 years old, based on the writings of Abraham the Patriarch; the oldest and most profound application of Astronomy and Astrology known to humankind).
Took
amazing mental pictures … and photographic pictures of anything—which caught my
eye ... happiness all around me sometimes...
Oh, yeah,
paid more in water and trash. Everything seems to be going up and up and up
nowadays … More and More of America … And what a wonderful Fourth of July
weekend hearing the great news that the Statue of Liberty crown REOPENS for the
first time after the September 11th attacks.
It was
always a dream of mine—to go to the top inside Lady Liberty’s head; but it
never came to be. Now, the plans are finally set for this month; I hope that
nothing unexpected occurs, like sometimes it naturally does. I can’t wait to write about that experience—which I
have waited a lifetime for; next time around…
Meantime, I hope you and yours
have a safe and happy 4th of July weekend. God bless this country and our
troops.
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June 29, 2009 - Monday
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Category: News and Politics
Spent SOS Weekend at Point Mugu: Fan Photo from California State Parks Foundation. The closing up to 220 state parks in an effort to cut California's $24.3 billion deficit--inspired me to create this video: A future vision--a heartfelt story between a father and his son--if 80% of the California State Parks were to close.
Video created on Save Our Parks Weekend, 1st Day of Summer, Father's Day. Images shown in video are taken in some of my favorite California State Parks.
Stop the California State Park Closures - Take action ...! ...
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