A New Hairdo

The Greatest Hope is "The Hope Rope" of the humble.

 ....

Last night in my dream, I saw an urban cowboy coming down a hallway. He was heading to teach a class on How to Spin a Rope {Lariat Throwing, Rope Spinning, Trick Cowboy Knots}. It appeared as if he was walking with his head down, while he was breaking in a new rope. I peered in the nearby classroom; saw a few dozen young men and very few percentage of females—sitting quietly in their chairs, holding ropes with knots, waiting in an upright position ... perhaps, for the next lesson. Then, I passed by a large group of young ladies who were waiting, too, sitting table after table row after row, for something good to be served. 

Only one young student noticed me—out of them all. I guess there’s always someone out there—watching you, looking at you deeply as if you are carrying a hidden message or one of special meaning. And perhaps, to that outsider, you may appear as if you are walking alone, searching for wealth but never truly finding it. Some may call you—LOST. That’s the magic of a dream; you have to have an escape plan. Get out the same way you came in; find someone you trust to wake up with and “smell the coffee”. And where was I going to, out of this school? I don’t know ... but my soul passed into another dream after that one: I woke up in a comfy, warm bed … found myself sleeping in a romantic log cabin. As I rose to the other living space, I picked up two empty picture frames made of natural materials. I looked in the corner of the dining area where my partner was working, paper spread out on the cedar table. ....

When I did finally wake early this morning into reality (in my bed in LA), I asked: what should I be looking for here? (…since I highly value my dreams).

Well, a cowboy has always represented: real and authentic. Perhaps, in this dream, it represented a person who manages others and keeps them in line (as a cowboy manages cattle). We tend to think upon our Independence, but not too much freedom for the cattle. But, for the large part ... could just be a symbol of the American Frontier, backwards and forwards to the modern-day, where one places value on hard work and individualism once again. Success simply can spell out honesty, courage, self-reliance, strength, common sense, etc. Success can be--to be appreciative and thankful: I haven’t forgotten my paternal ancestors (Scot--Irish) and my maternal ancestors (German-Swiss). People who built the first homes in America—the log cabins. I came from small beginnings, humble origins; Today, I travel over unknown ground … slightly becoming familiar.....

We all need a meaningful road to travel. We all need someone to travel with ... And sometimes, we need to be quick on our feet, picking up a lot of trivia, stories, and fairytales … hopefully more friends, more meaningful connections, and more food for the soul. 

One thing is for sure: “Be You”. Don’t always rely on people’s opinions. Listen, but not always. I mean, after all, people who lived in log cabins back in the day were teased, “nothing more than uncultured hillbillies”. How masterfully one or a group can proceed to turn that image into something to be proud of (that even American Presidents wished to have been born and raised in log cabins or may have like President Lincoln)—to embody the symbol of an honest American life.

It’s amazing to dream. To dream is good, but some ask why even do it…? A high level of skill, talent, energy, and research is needed even to alter plans (if they have failed or changed direction)—to build those dreams into reality or back again into reality. We may have a different vision on how to construct the type of home—environment we wish to build; but we seem to always question its end (as things may not have turned out the way we had envisioned or would have liked them to be).....

Sunday’s always a fine day for a drive or a long walk by the ocean …

This past Sunday, my partner and I headed towards San Pedro to catch the sunset. Although, it was a hazy day, and not much for taking pictures … Just a mental picture ... of a cat hiding partially in some brush, sitting on the edge of a steep cliff overlooking the Pacific. The cat had the greenest eyes. We connected almost instantly.

Moments earlier, my mother called me on my cell: Spoke of a dream she had remembered from the night before. In her dream, I was walking near the edge of water [frozen solid]. My mother was nervous that I would fall in and break thru the ice. Meantime, my aunt—with her cat—raced ahead.

Then, it hit me. Frozen almost in fear … scared, I panicked. I could see the cat falling over the cliff to the rocks and rough waters below … and that gave me courage to come closer and call for the cat. The cat appeared weak, not moving at first; perhaps, she was exhausted, tired, thirsty, hungry, abused…....

Crazy thoughts were spinning in my head. Flashbacks came to a time period  (over 15 years ago) when a roommate saved me in a situation, which could have turned real bad, real quick: And to a time where I saved her—through my dream of a fire, in which I woke up for real and smelled smoke (the fire alarm never went off in our townhouse at that time, only in my head). I quickly alerted my other two roomies and we raced downstairs—only to see her bed smoking, and got her off her bed real quick. She must have fallen in a deep sleep with cigarette in hand. Reminded me of our old neighbor back in the day, Mr. K, who dreamt his house burned down and three days later, for real, it did. It was relayed thru me that their fire started in the same manner.....

So Dreams, Visions … I take seriously. I always have. Now, to get to the moment of spotting the green-eyed cat this past Sunday … I was careful in luring her away from the edge and manage to successfully, pulling her through my voice alone. When my partner and I came home, I didn’t think anything of it, and later just twitted it. Not sure why really … I guess that I’ve become more programmed that I’d like to be.....

 ....

But something strong hit me today … I remembered a scene from the TV show In Plain Sight (the last episode, “Don’t Cry for Me Albuquerque” when the character Mary Shannon got shot) ... A woman (in the witness protection program), Francesca Garcia, spoke to Mary’s partner in the hospital, Marshall Mann (as Frederick Weller), and said to him (after he confronted her, believing it was part Francesca's fault, her doing…):

“She didn’t get shot because she was protecting me; she got shot because she over-reacted.”....

And, maybe, that’s what I would have done if it hadn’t been for my mother’s dream of warning, not to get too close to the edge. Maybe, the ground wouldn’t be able to sustain my weight and I would have fallen. Below me, I could see the Sunken City (a city which unexpectedly sunk back in 1929, oddly around the time of the 1929 stock market crash and the Great Depression; seeing old broken sidewalks and streets left behind was eerie). The grounds must not be that stable, hanging dangerously off a cliff.......

So, I’m not so sure if I truly protected the cat after all, or just reacted out of my very own fear … of falling. One thing is for sure, I learned out of that very personal experience on Sunday and thru other tragedies … like in NYC--8 years ago, up close … Don’t take things for granted: everything, anything …people, animals, even your home to your work to your very own life … and that’s all that there is to it. But maybe, not quite…....

I’m still figuring life out. Still appear to be walking on the edge for a breakthrough (well, more like occasionally) … with a key that can unlock a lot of life’s mysteries, that is—in my life, a key protected strongly by the Mother of all Spirits … one of all love and affection.

Wehr eine Reise macht Kann was erzählen.....

Who takes a trip has much to tell.....

Recently, I took a trip across country, back to NYC and Pittsburgh. My “weather forecasting knees” let me know way ahead of time what the weather would be like - Rain; been that way for 20 years. Can’t wait for weather to let up when I travel. I just go like anyone … already waiting for weeks but the glamour of flying since my first international flight to see my grandma back as a child in 1975 has long faded; didn’t expect to be served lobster with white gloves and check-in luggage for free. 

So far this summer, it is the coolest on record back home. I read for the 2^nd time in 140 yrs., the temp. failed to reach 90. And, it is the 2^nd wettest summer on record since 1928. One particular night, I swear—it felt like the coldest evening in July that I ever recall in New York. But I didn’t go there to spend time at the beach, so enough of the weather chat—on record-breaking low temperatures and rainfall, cloud covers, and glaciers that are probably melting.

This summer, I did something real special (skipping out on a perfect vacation week; you know the one of white sand, transparent ocean, freedom to do nothing at all): My partner and I took my mother back to the Big Apple. She hasn’t been there since she came over on the ship from Europe many, many years ago. It was exciting to her as she closed her eyes at one point and it all came back like it was just yesterday. We sat on a bench by our hotel in Weehawken, overlooking the Empire State Building and most of Manhattan…....

…and even a mile away from that now popular Malibu Diner [I’m sure you heard of the news of that big political scandal in Jersey called “Operation Bid Rig”. Some crazy day that was: Busloads of NJ politicians (mayors, city councilmen, assemblymen, political consultants, officials, etc.) and a flock of rabbis and Jewish leaders were taken to FBI HQ in Newark for booking on corruption and money laundering.] So, yeah, sure there were many changes since my mother’s arrival over 40-something years ago and even to me since I left the city in 2007. The traffic patterns changed (Broadway shut down between 49^th- 42^nd, Pedestrians only); avenues/side streets have replaced driving lanes with parking spots or turning lanes only. Too, the city got rid of most FREE areas for trucks (unloading, loading). Fewer meters for cars (def. not car friendly), almost to keep you out of the city, like “come here with mass transit!” I even noticed less homeless people. Only one man asked me for money on the train (I used to get asked about 10 times a day or more). However, I heard Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s administration has been paying to ship the homeless home. Offering one-way tickets to their original hometowns (like Florida, Georgia, the Carolinas, Puerto Rico, even to places abroad like Paris and South Africa, etc.). In the past 2 yrs., NYC has relocated 564 families by plane, train, and bus to 24 states and 5 continents. Sure it saves the taxpayers of New York money but shifts the problem elsewhere... One has to wonder: Do they have a place to stay on the other end … a good family, a good friend?....

Oh, couldn’t help but noticed the New York cops go green: those Nissan Altima hybrid squad cars hit me hard … I mean ‘real hard’; esp. when saw the 1^st foreign hybrid NYC TAXI as well. How could the NYPD replace their American squad cars? Did they at all consider the domestic Ford Fusion hybrid? I heard the design of the seats on the Nissan Altimas are already giving officers trouble (guns dragging across the seat when they get out of cars) and it’s not going to be anytime soon before this program to save the environment pays back. 

Everything has gone up since leaving town: Tolls (Tunnels by $2; Turnpikes by a couple of bucks…), Subway (by a quarter), Yellow Cabs, and Parking in some areas—Doubled, Tripled ($29 hr., $49 for hrs., 3 hrs. fuhgeddaboudit!...). We found a great placed to park on the Upper East Side - 4 hr. special for $15.21....

So, taxes on hotels have gone up, too … equaling the cost of the room. But, hey vacations shouldn’t be about how much money you’re throwing away … so, to continue … when we paid $6.95 for the Jersey turnpike, it reminded me of the cost of this cake bought in Little Italy. Ridiculous Tiramisu squashed into a dessert glass: Thrown in there like a scoop of ice cream. (It was on the house...obviously). Whoever baked it made a mistake. It didn’t turn out and still, they sold it …‘cause they don’t wish to loose out; but they lost out on business. We’ll never go back and they know that; but they should get rid of the signs outside "Best Cakes in Town" … And, speaking of Italy or heavily influenced by, a wonderful place to go for dinner or one that I enjoy is out of Manhattan, La Porteña Restaurant, an Argentine Cuisine in Queens.  We all ate way too much, that large of pasta portions; still filled come morning. The bread was great! I loved to dip it in their spicy herbal sauce called Chimichurri (fresh chopped parsley, garlic, oregano, red and black pepper, vinegar, and soy oil). The rustic wood and cowboy atmosphere made me feel at home. Some day, Buenos Aires!!! … Oh, great parking spot with a great view: Dunkin Donuts (Northern Blvd./70^th street corner in Jackson Heights).  Went for a cup of coffee and watched one plane after another fly directly over, landing at LaGuardia.

Oh, and if you love pizza, which who doesn’t… check out Lombardi’s coal oven pizza, been around since 1905; The Oldest Pizzeria in America. So, moving on--into Chinatown, still the same. All kinds of people come up to you to sell you something: designer gold watches, purses, perfume ... good times!

Getting to a few good highlights … my partner and I went back to one of the best dentist not just in the greater NYC area, but I’d say around the world: Brandon Huang DDS. He’s the owner of Manhattan Smile. I would strongly recommend him to anyone. He restored my confidence. Extra Bonus: He has an amazing city view; sitting in the chair; one can see Manhattan’s partial skyline instead of just staring at some wall picture of it. 

Interesting story: just before we got there to his office by yellow cab, we passed by a private funeral service at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in midtown Manhattan. It was big. Someone who passed away must have been very famous - my first thought, and a very simple soul just by quick glance of the casket - a plain wooden one. Well, that person was Walter Cronkite, the granddaddy of TV news anchors, the most trusted man in America. We all paused in silence in the cab as he got a loving send-off and his close friends and family wished him ‘good sailing’ … Reminded me of my great, great grandfather, Bartholomew, the Great Explorer who traveled the world back in the 1800s … the story I’ve researched for years in hopes of making it into a screenplay one day. Even found Bartl passing thru NYC long ago and took my mother to the very spot he lived … no longer a tenement building, now a park on the Lower East Side of town. 

Then, my mother told me of the story between Walter Cronkite and Andy Rooney (they became such good friends during WWII). I heard Mr. Cronkite had trouble pronouncing “February” at one time. Mr. Rooney practiced with him until he no longer had difficulty. My ma said she felt so relieved to hear that. Coming to America, she once had trouble pronouncing a few words, too. Hey, I still even have trouble with the German word: Küche (kitchen). Even in my hometown, the Italians from the old country say Aliquip over Aliquippa, leave last syllables off … and lawnmower is pronounced Linmor. And how do you say “coupons”? But, my thoughts on the matter is whatever you say or how you say it is fine as long as I can understand where you’re coming from … in New York, you know where people are coming from right away—just by the look on their faces. People still ticked off, understandably so; the economy isn’t really changing for the better. The weather is still totally unpredictable, and still tough to haul a cab esp. during rush hour and in the pouring rain; but the New York Bagels are still the best in the world! My favorite place is Bagel & Co on the upper west side (393 Amsterdam) …Oh, and people are still curious as ever; rubbernecking still slows down traffic for miles. Not into vanity license plates, but got close to a cool one on a Hummer: FeelsGD. Hey for some states, those kinds of plates bring in millions.....

I think the next ideal getaway from LA would be - do something relaxing, like sleeping by the pool among palm trees with a frozen coconut drink in hand. Oh, wait, I can do that this weekend; right across my place…! I’m luckier than I know; and spotting another ladybug in my place, I think that I’ll go play the lottery, too. Perhaps win a day with Lady Liberty: A Lucky 240 gets to go up each day … chosen by lottery (www.statuecruises.com).....

The process getting closer to see the Statue of Liberty—both islands: Ellis/Liberty is long. An easy 7 to 9-hour day, (the wait is incredible) not including the time climbing 354 stairs, 12-story spiral narrow staircase with slippery metal steps to the Crown (and of course, that experience is already sold-out as only 10 people at a time can go that far with a ranger). 

There will always be another real Head Trip for me … as long as New York remains in my heart. 

I’ve waited a lifetime for many certain moments. The Sears Tower helped me overcome my fear of heights; but the World Trade Center brought it back. I was hoping Miss Liberty would help me overcome my claustrophobia and the feeling of being cramped. I love how they say … don’t be afraid; it’s designed to withstand hurricane winds. I’ve heard something similar before. It’s just not my time. If it were, I may say the exact words that Roman Dial said while climbing the tallest tree in the world (a koompassia excelsa in NE Borneo):....

“It was sad to look from the top.”

For him, he dreams of a Big Tree Park and so do I—where the World Trade Center once stood. When we drove passed Ground Zero, it gave my mother goose bumps, chills … horrible memories; she still recalls my phone call that morning. It hadn’t even hit the news yet, for I lived directly across from the towers and saw it all firsthand. We all agree that on thousands of people’s ashes, you shouldn’t build—well, business buildings that is; but a Memorial Park with Chapel--where people can go in and pray, kneel/light a candle, something to light up the Dark … with a Freedom-Clock Tower--a Bell nearby that rings on the hour would be nice to hear and see on the grounds … even to touch a glass wall of honored names/heroes. Keep growing trees, flowers, bushes, grass … drowning out the city noise, pollution, traffic, conflicts … something simple, like a therapeutic gathering spot … would love to see a sculpture park actually, one with fountains (good example: Brookgreen Gardens in South Carolina) where people can walk through; where birds come and sing. Dedicate benches where people can sit and talk. In time to come, people may not remember if it is designed otherwise in theory....

But if there’s anything I’ve learned from my experiences is that … to make the most of the day. My ma thought this when inside Grand Central Station (viewing the detailed artwork in the ceiling--the famous mural of the stars-constellations over the Main Concourse) and cruising later down Museum Mile at night. And, my father felt this way when we spent some quality time going to the gun range and for a nice walk thru the local park with my 13-year old ...well, 12 1/2 year old Lab; let's not rush things.

Recalling now a beautiful sight … sunset in Brooklyn by the East River and another gorgeous sun setting when flying recently over the Grand Canyon, after a bumpy ride over the Western Rockies. Just sitting here, writing a part of my journey before I doze off into another dream, after the rain...

A friend across the world—asked what am I doing nowadays; I seem to be maintaining a very low profile. I am not aggressive the way I used to be a few years ago. Wondered if I’m depressed. Please share. Well, it’s very difficult times; but I know that I am strong enough to get through these current rough patches—through my experiences and may share those stories later in the year. I hope.

What a nice word … hope. Hanging onto it for sure.

So, looking back to the last half year, a review: I don’t know how it happened but thought by leaving New York, it would be less expensive. Not quite. LA beat out NY for the #1 spot this year—Most expensive US city now to live in & most polluted—winner for the last 9 years. Just knew things were going downhill in my country when I started seeing Bentleys’, Rolls Royces', & Limos pulling up to my local Dollar Store; even saw the new host of The Tonight Show, Conan O’Brien arriving there with fans one sunny afternoon (well, it was a comedy bit…). 

Keeping cool on a very hot day…holding my breaths in a crappy economy.

I adopted a Vegan Diet or let’s just say—gave up meat for good. Told that I became anemic. Ate more nuts. Went nuts! Learned more of my family health history; told that I have high blood sugar. Just speechless: So I started eating a little better or closest to the natural state, became more aware of my little everyday habits. Ate more nuts again! If you have any health secrets, please share.

I joined the Screen Actors Guild; need to get an agent who just might like me … just may believe in me; but first I got to believe in myself.

Became a Member of California State Parks Foundation and National Association for Poetry Therapy. Spent my 38^th Birthday with my long love on top of Mt. Wilson, overlooking all of Los Angeles. And after 20 years of renting here and there, we planted a seed of thought for making this town our home—we just need a place to plant some roots. 

Still wondering if I am somebody yet or just a number…....

 ....

Saved a Life. And discovered a new life inside of me; found a strong desire to visit what’s outside of me—sacred places.

Forgave more than I ever had. 

Experienced more California Earthquakes above 4.0. Felt more pain; Felt more joy! Solid as a rock: Gained a few love pounds & lost it always by morning. Gained it back always by night: Always the same. Told I’m normal, like in everyway; but not real sure about that…!

Received more messages in dreams. Paid more attention to WAKE-UP calls: Started Juicing. Picked back up daily Meditation & Yoga to keep life in balance. Feel like I should be doing something more and probably will…anything on the lines which favors a minimalist style—healthy, creative, and green. That's me!....

…Discovered how highly adaptable that I’ve been in Destructive or Breakdown Phases. Woo-hoo!....

Saw a lot of ladybugs, hummingbirds, and butterflies—made up for breaking the hand held mirror. Said the hell to Superstitions! 

Had a few family members and friends get real scary sick; some even passed away (including my aunt of Alzheimer’s and my uncle of Diabetes). Obtained Health Insurance after having a few years without; started preventive medicine. Branched out more into new areas of exploration like Natural Health, Psychology, Therapy, and interesting subjects such as Shamanic Studies and Kabbalistic Astrology (Dates back to a system of wisdom over 5000 years old, based on the writings of Abraham the Patriarch; the oldest and most profound application of Astronomy and Astrology known to humankind).

Took amazing mental pictures … and photographic pictures of anything—which caught my eye ... happiness all around me sometimes... 

Oh, yeah, paid more in water and trash. Everything seems to be going up and up and up nowadays … More and More of America … And what a wonderful Fourth of July weekend hearing the great news that the Statue of Liberty crown REOPENS for the first time after the September 11^th attacks.