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Friday, March 06, 2009

I hope your pirhanna bite

Ok. Maybe this song is a bit old currently. And maybe "the best rapper alive" being a part of this song turns me on to it, but she's just as dirty durd as he is.

3:09 PM

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Friday, February 13, 2009

When the Planes Come Crashing Down

So obviously, we all heard last month when that plane crashed in the river in NY. Where I work for a news organization, I'm honestly sick of hearing about it, but it was a wonderful event. I can't believe no one died.

Alright; That being said. That crew/passengers have received so much attention and fame that it's crazy. Well, not too long ago today, a plane crashed. I've already talked to a person or 2 that think what I think so I can't be the only one.

Is it me....or could this be like everything else? Maybe a copy cat pilot that wanted all the fame that last month's crew received? Maybe that's a bit sadistic....but almost in all cases there are always people out there whether it's for something good or bad that want the same attention.

After all that's said....I hope the families of the fallen are doing okay.

Something completely off topic that I notice with the media: So we have a crash landing last month where everyone lives and it's amazing. It gets wall to wall coverage and the crew just recently started having interviews on television.

Now, we have something tragic: a crash where the number of the fallen grew to 48 people(approximate). I know it's tragic and it will receive just as much coverage.

Explain to me, How two completely opposite events with the same subject receives so much coverage? That's like having a story about someone smoking and being in perfect health followed by someone that smokes and died of lung cancer at the age of 41.

(sigh)....this world.

12:20 PM

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Creativity

12:12 AM

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Death: She’s Gone
Current mood:

blank

January Fifth, Two-Thousand Nine

Today was a day; Just like any other day. I came in from work, proceeded to eat something, followed by shortly laying down to bed. Usually, I wake up a few times throughout the day, but not today. Today was different. I slept straight through only to wake up to text messages from my other, a few phone calls, and one lone phone call from my mother.

It's complicated to even type out this blog. Making this topic official has to be one of the most difficult things that I've ever had to do. I also had a few voicemails. Thinking nothing of it....I walked myself to the kitchen; To get a drink of water and to fix my last bagel. Something was odd this time with spreading the cream cheese on to this certain bagel.

My trip back to the bedroom was enlightening. I noticed things around me, more so than usual. I noticed just how tiny the spaces that we as humans live in on a daily basis compared to the universe.
Laying back down I thought I would check my messages: A few "I love you messages" which made my day....followed by the lone voicemail from my mother: "It's about 3:05. You're dad just had called me. Uh, it's not good news, but call him or call me one. Love you. Remember I'm there. Bye."

Immediately, I knew the issue. Did I want to call back nearly 3 hours after that call or did I want to wait? I started to cry without even knowing to the full extent of what happened. Deciding to call her back, I picked up the phone and let it dial Mom's number.

Upon answering:

Brad: What happened ( barely getting it out)

Mom: Ma(My grandma) passed away around 3:00 today.

Anyone that knows me; They know my Ma was one of the most important people to me. I lay here, my head hurts, my senses are on high as I glance around the room. We had so many late nights while I was growing up playing cards, playing Nintendo, watching movies, sitting out on the porch until all hours of the night/morning watching the neighbors make fools of themselves, and so on.

After moving up to Louisville I didn't get to see her quite as much. That didn't mean I didn't call her every day or 2. Sometimes multiple times a day. It didn't matter what time I called her, anytime I needed to tell her something, about something, or whatever I could call. I had hour long conversations with her at 10 in the morning, 2 in the morning, 10 at night, and 6 in the evening. Her ear was always ready. I think that's one thing....that will be the hardest....I don't have anyone to call 24/7 anymore.

The next step: Deciding whether or not I'm going to attend her funeral. Of course I love that woman. Back when I was growing up from about the age of 10 until now....I always told her, "If you don't stop smoking I'm not coming to your funeral." Well....she got cancer in one of her lungs, but she was actually lucky. The lung was removed....and she was cancer free. Only 1 lung, but cancer free. What did she do? Continued to smoke! She also spent nearly 10 years working at a brake factory breathing all of that brake dust. Those 2 things: crippled her insides to where she started having problems around 5 years ago.

Death: I've faced it before; Ma is the closest person to me though that's passed. I'm not sure how it's going to affect me.

I'm really not sure what else to say at the moment. It's official; She's gone. I can't believe she's actually gone. I guess you could say she's in a better place.

If there is a heaven....I hope she's content. I can think of at least 50 of her friends that I knew too(that have passed as well), whether it be through being close to them, or playing cards with those groups on some nights. If there is a "better place" I hope her chair at their card table is comfortable; That's all I ask.

5:16 AM

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

As much as I hate you Kanye

I can't resist but to nod to this song

Kanye West HEARTLESS NEW Music Video - OFFICIAL

3:54 PM

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Intentional Writings without Intentions

So let's attempt a no purpose writing this morning. It's been a while since I've taken this approach. I've had a little on my mind lately.

As soon as December started....I was in my head, 'Oh great, Let's all be festive, and go through the motions of another holiday in which most people celebrate for the wrong reasons.' I'm not exactly religious, but damn it! I know the reason Christmas exists.

I'm not exactly sure how I started on this topic, but now I just have to touch on a few things. A few months ago something touched me....for at least a week long period of time. What that was....still baffles me. Then another part of me realizes....that if you surround your self with the so called 'gospel' you can get caught up in it; Then the world around you looks different; looks positive; makes some people forget what the world really consists of.

This really isn't what I'm going to talk about so I'm going to close up shop right now. Lastly, With the few things I did say; A lot of questions are still unanswered. Some you can feel; Some you can't; Some things you can assume. Too many unknowns....And I won't allow myself to get lost in some 'false' sense of security. People can sit here and say....' I know it's real. I feel it in my heart' all they want.

I'm open to all thoughts and ideas, but the ideas that have been put in front of me are the same ideas with no logic. Having some man march to the top of a hill, only to be executed to wash millions of people's sins away for thousands of years later. That just sounds cult-like. What if someone done that today?

4:00 PM

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Grinding of the Gears: The Short & Sweet Edition

When first moving away from home....I did it for a few different reasons. One: To get away from a small town. Two: There were few educational opportunities down there but none that appealed to me. Three: The gossipers(sp).

This rant is definitely a pointless one, but I just wanted to point out how ridiculous people are....everywhere. No one in particular, but it's just like those people that spit out facts without knowing the whole story. Or! It's just like that game where you whisper something to someone and get them to pass it around the room only for it to come out ass backwards.

Between that....and people that can't drive. I'm not sure which is worse. With all of that being said, Canada or Europe are looking like better options when I choose to make my big move.

I'm sure the human race isn't much better in other countries. That's why I'm calling out to all the scientists out there. Make me a bionic man; Make me a robot man; Fly me to Mars (I'm definitely willing to go).

4:48 AM

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I love you Jamie

So this may be the most difficult, crazy blog/note I've ever wrote. First off....I'm drunker than a skunk. And whether you get drunk for fun or you're completely against it.....it helps me think. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I go through an intense process.

Alright, second instance of this attempt at a heartfelt blog. It all started on November 26th, 2007. I was well away from Brandi....and had started my life. I would meet people online and try to meet them in person....but it would just never happen. I did meet Beth and Stacie in person. Two very awesome people that I consider two of my very best friends.

The third instance; Jamie and I began our adventure on 11/26/2007 at a Denny's; Of all places. It was one of those days where things weren't ordinary. They were different; They were 2 lost souls locating each other. I had been through pain and betrayal and Jame had been through pain and betrayal. We found each other on a leap of chance. And it was the best chance I had ever taken....driving to Denny's on that very rainy day....something I usually wouldn't do.

The Fourth instance: The problems; Of course, like all couples we've had problems. part of it has stemmed from my past....while other parts have stemmed from her problems. The outcome is we've had many problems over the past year and a month. And I thought all of you should know I became frustrated yesterday....so frustrated that it made me say some hurtful things. Some very hurtful things that I don't mean.

The bottom line is: I love Jamie. I love her more than anything. I love her smile. I love her look. I love her personality. I love everything about that girl. And to all you Sams, Allys, Abbys, Davids, Stevens, MIkes, Lindseys, and every one else all I want is for Jamie to be happy. I will do anything I can to make that girl happy. Granted: We do have disagreements. We're still one. We're still everything that defines a perfect couple(if you guys/gals only knew). It does kill me when we argue. But hopefully she knows just as much as I do we're perfect in every way.

And in closing, I do really love that girl. I'm not sure what gets into me at times.....but I really love that girl. Her words are not only beautiful, but her actions are as well. I close with :

I love that girl. I love that girl; Jamie Michelle Beaven.I love you more than anything. Don't ever forget that.

6:17 PM

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

3 years since.

And it's about time they come back....

Thursday - "Friends In The Armed Forces" live (AltPress.com exlusive) from Alternative Press on Vimeo.

3:32 PM

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