So you want to learn how to become a Myspace Ninja, eh?
You have come to the right place, Reader-San.
You must wipe your feet before entering this dojo.
I shall now present you with the tools of your trade....and teach you how best to utilise them against your enemies.
Remember, a ninja is not outwardly aggressive and will strike only when provoked, or when the situation calls for direct action.....the TRUE weapon of a ninja, is stealth....this is something that cannot be taught here in the Myspace dojo, Reader-San, but is something that is learned during the process of life.
And now.....onto the weapons (aka the good shit).
* Shuriken (aka Death Star)
To be thrown, either singularly, or as part of a multiple volley. Best used during 3am ninja attacks, as LuvJones (fellow ninja) demonstrates on my page (see user comments for practical demonstration).
=====[--------------------- Ninja To (aka ninja sword)
Carried in sheath strapped to back when not in use. Handle protrudes from rear of shoulder for easy retrieval from sheath in the event of immediate action. The staple of many ninja's, most ninja's (as with Jedi Warriors) construct their own swords. Can be wielded either in one hand or used double handed. Best used when stealth is no longer an option.....so draw it only when needed, or charge straight in with it from the off during aggressive manouvres when stealth not employed at all.
===================== Bo (Longstaff)
Many uses. Can be used defensively, aggresively, or as a pole vaulting tool in order to clear high obstacles. Carried on back, similar to sword. Used either one handed, or double handed.
===|-------|=== Nunkchuks (aka Nunchukas)
Another weapon with multiple uses. Can be used for self defence, aggresive attack, or just to look cool.
=============----| Chigiriki (aka Mace)
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Similar to Bo, attached with a chain with spiked metal ball on the end.
Not very stealthy. If used, it usually means everythings gone tits up and you need to push someone's face in quickly in order to exfiltrate.
========---> Fukiya (Blowdart pipe)
One of the stealthiest of all ninja weapons. Ninja can remain hidden whilst picking off enemies with poisonous darts. Only best used under anonymous Myspace accounts, as your identity will not then become learned and position will not be given away.
============----- Naginata
Similar to Bo, with bladed attachment on end. Usually used in a defensive role in order to keep enemies at longer than arms length distance. To be used on those you dont trust to let come close.
==={----- Sai (aka short dagger)
Carried in belt (tucked in at the front for easy retrieval). Usually used in pairs, altho can be used singularly. Normally used on assassin type missions and can be used stealthily or during all out ass kicking moments.
===( ) Mic (used to kill ninja rappers)
Hand wielded, or can be mounted to Bo for studio purposes. Used in absolute aggression, never in stealthy situations. Much practise and training required to use. Possibly the deadliest of all ninja weapons when used correctly. Operation similar to blowdart pipe, altho you must speak the sacred script whilst in usage.
And there-in lies your first lesson in Ninjitsu, Reader-San.
Go forth now, and use your skills and new weapons wisely. Employ stealth, knowledge, patience, skill, and understanding. Use only when needed and only as last resort (unless training with a fellow ninja, in which case, throw um out like fuck or you'll never get any good at using them).
Do not forget the teachings of your master, and always remain humble.
(honourable bow to student).
Go now in peace, my son.