-- Ninjas posing as actors can change themselves out for younger (or older), blond, or dark haired features. 

-- The eldest of ninjas always has a new girl to impress, even when travelling to another country.

-- The bad guys generally have three nephews whose combined IQ equals that of an amoeba.  None of them will be so lucky as to spell amoeba.

--  If you are the divorcee of a well-known '70s actor, screenwriters will actually have the ninjas comment on your aged appearance and horrid plastic surgery.

--  Ninjas have heroes too.

-- Three diving canisters can be made into an effective Sea-Doo.

-- Product placement helps supplement a ninjas salary.  (Actually it is their salary since they are not paid to kill you.  They just get the opportunity to do so.)

-- Ninjas are to chose between a life of baseball or ninja hood, but this is coming from a dad in the FBI who has been previously stated to be a total tool.

-- Ninjas can walk on water...scratch that, they RUN on water.

-- Ninjas can run into danger as much as they can run away from it.

-- Sumo wrestlers can be "lit up" if attacked at certain points.

-- Ninjas have competitions to see who receives a very elegant dagger.  Also functions as a superb letter opener.

-- Ninjas can befriend nerdy girls.

-- Ninjas can also befriend pubescent men who wet their pants when someone screams in their face.

-- Ninjas are masters of manipulation, however, they are also very good at insulting customer relation employees who work for the airline.

-- Ninjas fly First Class.

-- Ninjas owned the Harry Potter look before it was the Harry Potter look.

-- The ninjas working for bad guys wear either tighty-whiteys or animal printed boxers. 

-- The henchmen of bad guys are allowed to wear bright silver rimmed sunglasses and lurid printed bandannas.

-- And the mother of ninjas expects her lil' minions of massacre to call home everyday at 2PM Tokyo time to ensure they are safe.

-- Nurses in Japan are larger than Americans and uglier than Russians.  (Please do not be offended, this is about a kids movie, not your mom.)

[The writer of this blog has been unceremoniously euthanized by a Japanese nurse, who is someone's mother.]

-- Finally...ninjas rely on the four strand rope in every situation, though it is merely a symbolic form of their mantra about body, soul, mind, and heart.  In reality a four strand rope is a b**ch to carry around, so give them a four-leaf clover. They will thank you by not killing you, immediately.

++ Amendment to the previous list.++

-- It was recently pointed out that the traditional foe of the ninja is the pirate.  In recent years the struggles between these two groups have gained notoriety in the public and has sparked numerous debates online, in books, and at conventions.  Though this a widely known fact, many young ninjas do not meet their first pirates or develop their clans deep seated hatred for them until well after killing their first biker gang leader.  This may take several years to achieve this kill, but there is startling evidence showing ninjas have poor sea-legs and a number of clans have a heredity disease that affects their inner ear, causing some well notated moments of ninjas displaying sea sickness in the face of their enemies.  Sadly in these cases, the life of the pirate mocking the invalid ninja is made to feel massive amounts of pain for extended periods of time.  So the debate and war continues, will there be peace on land or on sea?  This question and many more maybe answered in the future, but for now, the analysis of the "3 Ninja" movies will guide us to further understanding the Ninja Community, their Culture, and their Heritage.

[The views of this blog do not reflect the comments and opinions of the Ninja Community nor does it express the amount of positive efforts Ninja-kind have made to make this world a safer place to live.]

...I Watched from Watching "Three Ninjas" trilogy.

In no particular order...

-- Ninjas must wake with a different challenge everyday.

-- Ninjas are color coordinated, from gee to mask, to underwear.  (okay, I don't know about the underwear part, but they should be clean.)

-- Ninjas can be experts at any age, from 8 yrs old to 65 (actually 64, but you stop when you collect your first Medicare check.)

-- Ninjas can kick butt with a Twizzler in their mouth or a piping hot pizza in one hand.  Take that Ninja Turtles!

-- Young ninjas must keep their concentration, or they can be easily distracted by the opposite sex and then flip head over first over the handle bars of their bike on a dirt road.

-- Young ninjas can apply skills learned on arcade driving games to real life.  Though they may cause fellow passengers to find religion.

-- There are good ninjas and bad ninjas.  Just like there are good dentists and bad dentists, just do not confuse the two.

--  Ninjas always get the girl, especially when they are named Emily.

-- Chandeliers and broom handles can be made into effective nunchucks.

-- When young ninjas are fighting several men at one time, all those in a crowed space should watch and NOT call the police.  Especially the adults in the room.

-- Hanging flower pots make great training tools.

-- If you are a young ninja and your dad is in the FBI, he will be a total tool.

-- If you are a young ninja you always have to say, "Hii-ya!"

-- Ninjas believe in the power of jelly beans.  They can bring good fortune or a potential death blow.

-- Ninjas know that pb & j sandwichs tames the savage junk yard dog.

-- Ninjas sworn enemies are biker gangs.

-- Ninjas do not have to be Japanese or partially Japanese, or look Japanese for that matter.

-- Big mean landowners are extremely racist and use non-PC terms.

-- Ninjas have their own dance that can be easily learned by others.

-- Ninjas can build sophisticated detection and communication devices through the use of tin cans.

-- Ninjas can kick your ass at basketball.

-- Ninjas are always eager to learn to fly, but can't seem to get Grandpa to teach them.

There are more to come.  Please stay tuned.

** The comments made do not reflect the point of view of the Ninja community and do not reflect upon on the significance Ninja warriors make to Society.**

So the last three months of 2008 have not had as much  negative impact in my life as the previous nine months had. 

But this past week I have been decided how I want to enter into 2009, and I decided....

TO MAKE AN EFFORT AND GAIN!  (not to gain weight though, that I can lose!)

To make an effort, Emily's definition:   thinking on the positive train, no matter how crummy I feel about work or how my little village on Travian is being "raped", I will make an effort to chose a business class ticket on the positive train.  Trust me, I have already felt challenged even before the new year started but for all that I have in this lifetime, I need to be grateful and happy.

To gain:  strengthening my stage manager skills, working on Winter's Tale was hard to not give my input on matters concerning the run of the show.  I had stepped in to be an actor and I had to relinquish myself to that world, fun as it is to be an actor, I feel better in my world of bossing ppl around and setting high expectations of success (for the actors and myself).

The "How To" Emily will follow:

1)  Purge.  Out w/ the old and limit the new.   I have enough stuff to furnish a 2 bedroom apartment.  (which I desperatly would love to have)

2)  Limit.  Refer to Step one.  This is material for cosplay, the number of conventions I attend, the amount of money on I spend on Gaia, and the number of manga I buy, etc.  (In summation, this step is the "save money like a fiend" step.)

3)  Educate.  Sign up for Japanese 2, what I know is rusty and slipping away.  I'm also contemplating about signing up for rock climbing to stregthen my upper body but to have knowledge for rigging in theatre.  (a double bonus!)

4)  Apply.  Either for an apartment or for a Master's program.  One of the two has to be what I want more before 2009 is over.  This is also reflected as to how well I do with Step two.  (And the JET program is another motivation for me this year too.)

5)  Relations.  Personal or professional, they need some work.  For my Step four I'll need recommendations.  Personal relations....hmmmm...the choice is evident.  I grow up.  And in all honesty, I'd prefer not too.  I'll expand on this thought at a later time.

6)  Goals.  Keeping goals are very important to me.  If it isn't the alarm going off to get me up for work, it's something my heart truly desires.  I'm always amazed by those who are on paths of so many options and then they decide to sit down in the middle of that path and are quite happy.  I guess I'm incredibly selfish and childish for not wanting to sit down in my path too (and, oh so, slightly jealous...but then again...).  Personally, the path I have here in the Eugene/Springfield area is okay.  But I want better, hence, this list.

So a new quarter beings and I am out of bed by 10am, playing on Travain, Gaia's zOmg, and writting a blog.  Am I following my own advice?  Or am I on a soapbox rattling off to hear myself?   (Not as much as I like, and of course I'm rattling, I do that best!)

But I am saying too, I'm taking the first step in the right direction and if a friend of mine said last night is true, that the people you see on New Year's Eve are those you want to see in the New Year, then the path is laid before me and I'm not as lonely as I was a year ago today.  I have a few more angels in Heaven, a handful of new friends, and a voice that is finally being heard in the world (Yay for Obama!). 

Also, I have something more than I did a year ago, perspective, humility, empathy, and the knowing that I'm cared for by others.  I've developed cynism, and huge disgust for communicating by phone or computer, so writing letters would be cool or improving my telepathy (hahahaha, no, I'm serious, you all should be able to read my mind!  okay, j/k)

Here is the point where I realize I've gone on long enough and your eyes are hurting.  So I'll wrap it up.

To All Who Read This, A Very Happy, Safe, and Healthy New Year to You All.  May there be more good tidings to those who have found happiness and to those on a similar path as I, may we cross each others and find comfort in our struggles and successes.  And as this world is ever changing and ever moving faster we should all strive to "live a dying life, not a living death." -- Carol Jean Sanne Walls aka Aunt Carol.

Hence the list and the reason why I get up in the morning after the alarm clock has gone off.

So I've woken up w/ the strangest most frustrating dream locked in my mind.

The first problem is that Dream Bing, would not drive properly and I ended driving over a curb, flipped him and hit a street lamp (which moved itself, btw) and the majority of the damage to the car was the back bumper/trunk lid.  (Hmmmm lil' memory of Scarlett thrown in there.)

But that was not the worst part of the dream.   In arrives a couple in a blue car (make and model unknown) but they are two friends of mine.  As it turns out they are a couple and she is pregnant.  All of my worst fears and frustrations confirmed.  Especially since I'm frustrated w/ the fact that the guy in the dream is someone I care about and would prefer if he was not with the girl that is pregnant.

As soon as I hear this, I go running of for Dream Bing who is now parked along side a strip mall, where I had run into for help along w/ the couple and I'm trying to decide where to move my things out of Dream Bing and where to move it since it is a yellow curb.  The place in particular in this dream is the Valley River Center area. 

So the couple tries to help me but because I'm so furious, jealous, and just plain confused, I finally decide to park Dream Bing but I'm finding parking hard because it has now become crowded and the parking spots are now metered.

At one point in the dream I start to envision myself changing the plants along the curb to either be really pretty plants paired up w/ something that will attack my enemies.  I'm afraid there is some influence of Travian and Gaia Online's Zomg! coming in on this part.

Since waking up from this dream I want to find out what it all means or if it's just my brain throwing random crap together to make me question my heart and feelings.  For the sensation of the car misbehaving felt very real, and the argue I had w/ the girl in the dream felt very cathartic.  What is my brain/heart trying to say?

I think I am in need of help here.  Not necessarily psychological help, but the thoughts and impressions others get from reading this.  I hardly ever remember my dreams or have one worthy of a blog.

Thank you to those that read this, and another thank you for responding.

G'mornin'!
Emily