Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate
our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us,
and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

-- Nelson Mandela

It's always important to keep in mind the history of things in which you are involved. The DJ and club world would not be what it is today without the contribution of Francis Grasso.

More than anyone else, it was Francis Grasso who made beatmixing a required skill for DJs. The Brooklyn-born Italian-American was the first DJ to mix records in a way that DJs do today and the first to make his sets a real performance rather than just a series of tunes. His triumph was to make his nights as much about his personality and tastes as it was about the records he played. And he was doing this not in the eighties, but in 1969. Grasso started in the New York clubs the Haven and the Sanctuary and in his day he was a pop star every bit as big as someone like Fatboy Slim is today. He dated Liza Minnelli, hung out with Jimi Hendrix and claims to have spend more than his rent on drugs. Together with his close friends, Steve D'Acquisto and Michael Cappello, not to mention other pioneers like David Mancuso and Grandmaster Flowers, Grasso reqrote the rules on the way we hear music in clubs. Sadly, on March 18, 2001, he was found dead in his apartment, just one week before his fifty-third birthday. If you're a DJ, he was your godfather. DJ Francis.. we salute you!

(special thanks to Frank Broughton and BIll Brewster for the history lesson.)

Send me your music! Demos, finished tracks, potential remix projects..

Send me your track

I actually bought a CD. Not a download. An actual CD. Remember those? They are those round disks that have a surface printed with the album name and artist, usually with some kind of nifty design. (Not drawn by multicolored sharpies either!)

I paid $20. $20.54 with tax more accurately.

And who, pray tell, warranted such a frivilous expenditure?

Armin van Buuren. The new record: Imagine. I haven't listened to all of it yet, but so far, it's incredible. Simply amazing. This isn't one of those Tiesto-esque mix CDs mind you. This is a pure artist album. AvB collaborated with a few notable names such as Jennifer Rene, Cathy Burton and DJ Shah to create a record that's listenable as an album, rather than simply a collection of dancefloor singles.

Anyway, Happy 4th everyone. I am celebrating the 4th very simply: watching the entire HBO John Adams miniseries while alone in my hotel suite. Later, I suppose I'll head down to a cool motorcycle bar here in Overland Park called Fuel. They'll have free hot dogs and apple pie later this evening and there's going to be a massive fireworks celebration around here as well.

It's a pretty lonely day, but what shall I do for want of my favorite associate? That which is always done; endure, prosper and hope for the day when Independence day is celebrated, not alone, but with that one of whom makes the gift of freedom worth celebrating.

There are shackles upon my heart that can't easily be lifted. The chains that bind me are the same chains that ignite the fire of my very being.

Imagine life. Imagine love. Imagine syncronicity happening all over again. It is the imagination that fuels the future.

Happy 4th of July!

I really like these lyrics. Reminds me of something, although I can't quite place exactly what.. I hope I'm not boring.

---
You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you over think
Always speak
Critically

I should know
That you're no good for me

{CHORUS}
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You don't really want to stay, no
But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now's a dead battery
Used to laugh bout nothing
Now you're plain boring

I should know that
you're not gonna change

{CHORUS}

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride


You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes..

I am angry right now. I wish I could forget lots of things. When I think carefully, I realize just how stupid I've been. It's painful knowing the things I know and thinking about all of the people who've done what about which I am upset. I think I might have hung-on too long. Perhaps I should simply give up and realize that I should've not subjected my heart to knowing what I know. I wish it were that easy.

 

:(

Perhaps it's time..

Some people like to harbor all sorts of hatred and resentments over things that are relatively minor or are simply misunderstandings. The people that really know me well, know much differently. However, there are plenty of folks that get hung up in the so-called scene and are easily swayed by bullshit and situations about which they know nothing.

I don't need that sort of fun. To the few friends that get it.. thanks, to those that don't.. I wish you the best. I'm certain that all of the other people out there are great and useful. They certainly care about you more than I ever would.

Being jaded and bitter is a bitch.

I am always encouraged when I hear one thing, then months or years later, suddenly I discover that I was simply fooled.

There are a couple of people that I miss terribly, but to take the advice of at least one trusted (almost) friend, I am better off without the two people in question. I know that if my back was against the wall, there is no one upon which I can count but myself. I am tired of not being believed. I am tired of people assuming they know shit, but instead I am forced to defend myself at each fucking encounter. If people don't want to believe me, but would rather believe meth addicts or junkies, then whatever.. That's their deal. I can accept it.

Cyncism isn't a fun thing, but god-dammit, it is reality. I've discovered that most love is bullshit and most everyone cares about others only as much as it helps themselves. I am the moron for trusting and believing in people. Lesson learned. People aren't inherently good aparently. People are fucking mean, cruel and most of the time blinded by their own insanity to realize just what the fuck they have sabatoged.

I hope he and she realize one day that there are a few people out there that care about them and that I am one of them.

Some of you might think this is about you, it probably isn't. I am simply commenting on the state of things in general.

Due to my remix of Breathe Me upsetting some people, it will soon be removed from my page. I am pretty proud of my work on the song, but I am going to be taking it down tomorrow or the next day.. just as soon as I get to a computer where I can save the file. Due to circumstances out of my control, there is no other copy of that song anywhere, except on the Myspace server. All of my original source files were lost.. So, I am keeping the song up only as long as it takes for me to download the file from Myspace.

Then it will be deleted. The only way to hear it after that will be to personally come see me, and only then if you are someone that should hear it.

That song has a long story, one that I won’t go into now, but anyway, everyone should know that no matter how worthless your words my feel at times.. words and music do have power. The power to excite, anger, upset or create love, hate or ambivalance. Music matters.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the song for the next 48 hours, after that, it will be gone.

Would I rather be right or happy? Always happy. Who gives a shit about being right. There are a lot of "right" people who are very lonely.

 

Cheers.

--

Brian Dear

As some of you might know, I used to be a hot-shot photojournalist. My work has been published around the world in a variety of publications including the NY Times, People, Newsweek and the list goes on.

I haven't really talked too much about that experience, because, frankly, I don't like to brag. But, I am proud of the work I've done.

I just posted on my personal page (www.myspace.com/superacidjax) about 60 photos from various assignments throughout my 8 years of news photography. If you want to see some of my work, just look in my photo album entitled Brian's Photojournalism.

Keep in mind, that most of these pictures were shot on very tight deadlines and in often high-pressure situations. Almost anyone can take a good picture, but can you do it in the middle of a riot or amidst a pushing crowd or at an event where conditions are less than optimal?

I don't have time to caption everything just yet, but there are photos from various death penalty protests, including death row shots of the infamous Gary Graham (google him for more information.) I also have shots of celebrities, including Chris Farley, Arnold S. and Olympic gold medalist Tara Lipinski. There are also aerial shots of the death row prison. There are shots from a hurricane and pictures of the Bush family. I've shot thousands more images, but they are scattered in places unknown. These pictures are just a sampling of what I've shot..

Enjoy! Leave comments if you have any questions!

-
Brian

I just posted the SuperAcidJax remix of Sia's "Breathe Me." The original is really cool. I hope you all like my take on it.

Here are the lyrics. I find them strangely familiar, for some reason or another.

Enjoy. Let me know if you like the song..


Breathe Me, by Sia
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me