Dearest...
Please come to my shows in Chicago this weekend.  I know, short notice.  Because that's the way we do it.   Two shows. 

Friday 10/17/2008 6-9pm
Southside Community Art Center
3831 S Michigan Ave
Chicago
Performance from 6-9pm, Q&A to follow

DISplacement
a collaboration with Ni'ja Whitson
An installation, soundscape and 3 hour performance examining violence, surveillance, and their effects on the body.

3 hour long performances with 3 cycles corresponding the the three forms of violence-subjective, symptomal, and systemic.

Movement, words, projection, installation, endurance. 

Saturday 10/18/2008
Ghouls, Ghouls, Ghouls
Halloween Burlesque with the
Girlie-q variety hour.

Empty Bottle, 10pm.

I would love to see you there.  Particularly since all I've been doing in Chicago is rehearsing, and I haven't had a chance to see your shining faces. 

thinking of you,
Surgeon

I love words fabricated of two or more other words that perfectly describe a situation, feeling, or state of affairs. And my absolute favorites are the ones that are cleverly constructed by marketing teams, and make me double over with laughter. Some of these words have passed into common usage, and some are simply fabulicious.

Examples abound in my profile, but here are some of my favorites, both old and new.
infotainment (disinfotainment)
edutainment
webisode
nutriceutical
tween
skort
spork
jazzercize

okay, and this one, not a compound word, but I can't help but trip a little each time I hear it
"television event"... what?!

tell me your favorites.

I have been traveling extensively for many months.  I am home in the desert.  I am humbled in the way that travel always makes me.  Even if it's just travel on well worn paths I travel often, even in cities that used to be my home.  But it's always bizarre to return to a place and feel suddenly a stranger.  Even stranger to return to a place you've never been and feel at home.  The latter is easier on the psyche.  After Portland and yoga teacher training, I went back to Chicago for a trip that extended from 10 days to 6 weeks. Included a jaunt on the East Coast on Cape Cod, a momentary, very drunken night in Brooklyn with beautiful people, many weird nights staying in hotels downtown Chicago working, lots of connections, serendipitous encounters, plans for the future, and millions of friends left unsqueezed.  If you are one of those friends, I want to squeeze you.  But you may have to chase me down to do it.

I am a homebody with itchy feet.  An itinerant wanderer with strong sense of vertigo when too far from my roots.  I'm learning how travel is different with a child.  I'm learning how to stay strong in the face of familial criticism and the challenges of surrendering to my child's needs on the road.  I'm learning that travel is too costly, financially, emotionally, environmentally, physically to be taken lightly or done haphazardly while I am two.  No longer is it easy to find a new place to sleep and get my work done when I'm on the road.  No longer is it a simple matter to fulfill obligations and leave time for social interaction.  I am not the person I once was, in this regard, and I have felt my friendships change for it. 

But it's all good.  I'm learning to let go, in every which way, and finding that the structure I build because of it is that much sweeter.  But I fantasize a little bit about the freedom of solo flight.  Someday, again.  Maybe no time soon. 

Luckily, our lives are long.  Or not...

What do you really think about 2012?

And elections...I shudder to think. 

In one day both my bike wheel got stolen, off my bike locked in the front yard, and my car tire went flat (as was the spare, upon inspection)

The universe is trying to tell me something? About motion?  Or about responsibility with possessions? 

I'll leave you with this

"Gita, Gita, Gita", you begin, but then find yourself saying "ta-Gi, ta-Gi, ta-Gi". Tagi means one who has renounced everything for God.
-Ramakrishna about obtaining the truth of the Bhagavad-Gita

thinking of you,
Surgeon

I've been eating raw lately, and here's the thing, take one further foray down the slippery slope of vibrant consumption (my preferred epithet) and the distance to travel grows exponentially.  dig?

So
begin eating 100% raw, as a detox, as a cleanser, because dangerbaby is gone from me for 5 whole days, on a familyfunvacation with hihi, so I decide to pay attention to my liver, for once. I can do that, because she won't be ingesting all my discarded toxins through breastmilk, and I can do that because without the child I can afford to be confused and sleepy for a couple of days.

so
embarking on this lovely cleanse, which is actually hella easy, save the day or two of complete loopiness while the body shifts over, I invent recipes

so
I also read a million articles, love letters, essays, and blogs about raw, just to remind myself why I fracking love eating this way, and

so
I  bust out in the living kitchen, some beautiful shit.

at the behest of friends and family, recipes follow at the end of this post.

Now I'm at my mother's house, the belly of the beast, and amidst mac and cheese, low-fat ice cream, ham sandwiches and skim milk. I set up a raw kitchen by the window.

she left me a note tonight:
Natalie,
Your food is attracting critters.  I squashed a couple of ants and fished a dead one out of the beans.
love,
Mom

I make the family a variety of raw dishes, and they like them.  Word. 

pesto, hummus and tapanade stuffed crimini and baby bellas
raw coconut curry
salads
broccoli slaw
pesto
sweet bean and olive tapanade
raw lasagne
etc.

raw coconut curry:
soaked and sprouted beans or lentils. 
soaked dates
young coconut water, milk, or cream
carrots
yellow bell pepper
lemon juice
curry powder
ginger
coriander
braggs or shoyu
sun-dried tomatoes, soaked
fresh tomatoes
cashew milk (pre made)
touch of raw agave nectar
foraged greens like dandelion

toss everything but the beans or lentils into a food processor and blend until smooth.  throw in the beans and process until desired texture.  top with grated coconut and serve over zucchini, salad, or white veg "rice."


thinking of you,
surgeon

Dearest,
Has it really been so long? Have I let our correspondence go the way of all my good intentions? Baby, let's start all over again.

Portland, where I am hanging my hat, and my mat, for the next couple of months is wet. Really wet, and really green, which is a shock to the senses. This verdant valley thing is blinding me with flowers. It's great. I am here attending the http://lotusseedschool.org for yoga teacher training. It's amazing. 4 of 6 people in the course are people of color. Which is completely unheard of in my recent experience of the yogaworld. I love it. It's a school based on the principles of social change...yoga for underserved populations, for kids, poc's, single parents, queers, etc. And I am all the fuck about it. My obsessions are coming to fruition here. I am really getting my yoga rocks off, and scheming about community service to boot. It's good. Really good. And Portland, though I have an ambivalent relationship with this here town, has been treating me well. Opening up doors, and offering me things I never even thought to ask for. Remover of impediments. It's clear that this is where I'm supposed to be right now.

It all happened in a flash, and all of a sudden, me and dangerbaby have this beautiful house in north portland all to our selves, and I am here with the express purpose of learning more and more about yoga. I am very, very happy.

I always say that I hate school. But the right kind of school, the nonschool, the non traditional school, has my heart in spades. hm.

Today I made a fancy dinner for me and dangerbabe, just for us, a laid out table and toddler conversation. We actually haven't been alone like this in a long time, or maybe ever. It's nice. The stakes are low, and life is easy right now. Though I postpone the inevitable.

What else has happened since I last wrote? Cyclones. Love. Salsa. Exercises in non-attachment. 0-3 cars in a week. Big beautiful house in the barrio. Scads of travelers bringing their worlds to bear around the dinner table. Beautiful music. Observence of toddler progression. Travel. Acroyoga.

http://acroyoga.org
I am thoroughly obsessed and impressed by the spirit and the community of acroyoga.

I have a million things more to tell you, but it's late, and I'll leave you with this unpoetic blog post and fragile promises of better words to come. And photos. And videos. And pubic performance.

I adore you. You know that, don't you?

thinking of you,
Surgeon

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contacts
Madeleine Dash, Sex Workers Action New York (SWANK), 877-776-2004 x 2 swank@riseup.net

Audacia Ray, 718.554.1714
Sarah Bleviss, Sex Workers Outreach Project NYC (SWOP-NYC), swop.nyc@gmail.com
Prostitutes of New York (PONY), pony@panix.com
Desiree Alliance, http://www.BoundNotGagged.com

New York, NY -  In the wake of former Governor Spitzer’s resignation, sex workers and human rights advocates remain concerned about the representation and future of "Kristen" and other sex workers, who do not have the legal and social privileges that will be afforded to Mr. Spitzer. The identity of the sex worker implicated in this case has already been made public, a situation mirroring many a sex worker’s worst nightmare.  "Kristen’s" exposure may entail not only bring her legal repercussions, but invasion of privacy, financial hardship and social opprobrium.

Rather than continuing to sensationalize Spitzer’s actions and those directly involved, we urge the press and the public to shift their focus to the legal climate under which sex workers operate, while respecting "Kristen’s" agency to have chosen sex work as a viable source of income.  "Everyone wants to know how high her rates were, all the salacious details, but the real issue at stake here is that the hypocrisy of criminalizing sex work has been exposed!  It’s a part of our society, of every society, and we need to take this opportunity to stop with the value judgments and start coming up with policies that respect the human dignity of all people, sex workers and all workers. " says Dylan Wolfe of SWANK (Sex Workers Action New York).

Former Governor Spitzer took a lead role in developing the NY State Anti-Trafficking Law as well as other initiatives that stigmatize sex workers and their clients.  It is the stigma of sex work that leads many individuals like "Kristen" to keep their occupations a secret, creating further isolation and opportunities for exploitation. This same stigma compromises the safety and well-being of people like "Kristen" when their private lives become public knowledge.  Sex workers are then forced to work further underground, rendering them more vulnerable to abuse, while denying them access to the basic civic participation, health and social services available to other people. "Hopefully Mr. Spitzer’s unfortunate public decline will send a message to all like him who pass laws that endanger the safety of sex workers while indulging in the service themselves," Sarah Bleviss of SWOP said, "Sex workers clearly provide them a very valuable service; it’s time for lawmakers to return the favor."   Too little attention has been paid to what the repercussions of this case will be for those most directly concerned, sex workers, and more generally to the impact of laws and attitudes that marginalize them. It is time for a change. 

Spitzer pushed through penalty enhancements against clients of all sex workers. Sex worker advocates fought against such provisions because these policies drive people who need help further underground. Often prostitution is wrongly conflated with trafficking and vice-versa. People are trafficked for many kinds of work, be it domestic labor, farm work or other jobs, and this kind of exploitation undoubtedly needs to be addressed. The majority of men, women and transgendered people working in sex work, however, are ’normal’ members of society who have used their own intellectual agency to decide to make a living in a sexually-oriented way. Laws, like the Mann Act (against inter-state transportation for the purposes of commercial sex), are too often used for punishing sex workers and their clients rather than those who profit from their exploitation.

Sex workers make a living in an industry with the potential for high risks and little by way of protection from abuse. The stigma surrounding our work can be lethal at its most extreme: we are often the targets of notorious serial killers, like the Green River Killer, Gary Ridgway who targeted prostitutes because he thought he "could kill as many of them as [he] wanted without getting caught."  If sex work were decriminalized and legitimized as a form of paid labor like any other, or seen simply as an intimate exchange between consenting adults, the associated harms would be greatly diminished. Furthermore, sex workers could access their basic human rights and social services without fear of legal reprisal or personal upheaval. "Eliot Spitzer has represented himself to the public as a law and order man, and ironically, has been in the vanguard of further criminalizing sex workers and clients. . . However, it’s a shame that so much time, energy, and tax payer resources are being spent to criminalize consensual sex between adults. It’s time to decriminalize prostitution." says Sarah Blake of Prostitutes of New York (PONY). 

We're moving. It's a pain in the ass. My old house with it's crazy landlady and lovely yard where I went into labor the day after arriving there is no longer home. The house where dangerbaby spent the first two years of life I am leaving behind, and happily, for a much bigger midwestern style house in the Barrio Viejo. We're right downtown, and starting a real collective living venture. It's a beautiful place. I'm sitting on the roof right now stealing internet from a neighbor and writing to you. I can see the Tucson "skyline" and a helluva lot of stars. And it has real wood floors, and a second story, and things that I've missed so much since moving to the desert.

Right now, we're 5 adults and 4 kids, and it's chaos, to say the least. But it all feels right and good.

Things at the old place have been going weird for a minute now, and every indication points to leaving. My lovely, beautiful, fiercely independent 87 year old neighbor Mary just died. She gave us weird kitten toys that she knitted. She fell down in her house and was on the floor for three days before anyone got her out. She was alive, but then died in the hospital. Her grandkids came out from Cali to move her things out. She'd lived in that house since the 40s, when there was nothing around but desert, and they started a business selling bullets and armaments from the garage. They bought that house for $3k cash back then, and she's lived there ever since. And it has bullet perforated duck shaped targets decorating the front lawn. She outlived all her kids and her husband, and I want to hold her up at this moment.

Hell yeah.

Summer's coming, and I'll be headed your way. Chicago, New Orleans, New York, Cleveland, Austin, San Diego, Vancouver, Barcelona, and London are all on the list,.

Meet me there.

Thinking of you,
Surgeon

We're moving. It's a pain in the ass. My old house with it's crazy landlady and lovely yard where I went into labor the day after arriving there is no longer home. The house where dangerbaby spent the first two years of life I am leaving behind, and happily, for a much bigger midwestern style house in the Barrio Viejo. We're right downtown, and starting a real collective living venture. It's a beautiful place. I'm sitting on the roof right now stealing internet from a neighbor and writing to you. I can see the Tucson "skyline" and a helluva lot of stars. And it has real wood floors, and a second story, and things that I've missed so much since moving to the desert.

Right now, we're 5 adults and 4 kids, and it's chaos, to say the least. But it all feels right and good.

Things at the old place have been going weird for a minute now, and every indication points to leaving. My lovely, beautiful, fiercely independent 87 year old neighbor Mary just died. She gave us weird kitten toys that she knitted. She fell down in her house and was on the floor for three days before anyone got her out. She was alive, but then died in the hospital. Her grandkids came out from Cali to move her things out. She'd lived in that house since the 40s, when there was nothing around but desert, and they started a business selling bullets and armaments from the garage. They bought that house for $3k cash back then, and she's lived there ever since. And it has bullet perforated duck shaped targets decorating the front lawn. She outlived all her kids and her husband, and I want to hold her up at this moment.

Hell yeah.

Summer's coming, and I'll be headed your way. Chicago, New Orleans, New York, Cleveland, Austin, San Diego, Vancouver, Barcelona, and London are all on the list,.

Meet me there.

Thinking of you,
Surgeon

Seriously.  It's fucking cold here.  3 degrees F or something?  Why do I always come back in January? 

Notes from the past few weeks:

TransAtlantic travel with a toddler is challenging but not impossible.  Spent the last couple of weeks in Dublin and London with friends and dangerbaby.  Succumbed to jet-lag.  Enjoyed the show.  Visited the touristy bits, and made new friends. The pound is strong, so work is good in Europe, when you can get it. 

Visited the exhibits of some of my favorite artists lately, DeChirico, and others, and found a new favorite artist Tino Sehgal

He has 4 pieces on 'display' at the Walker in Minneapolis.  It was fantastic.  A woman in a large gallery dressed as a museum guard singing "this is propaganda, you know, you know, this is propaganda...tino sehgal, this is propaganda, 2002."
A man in a small gallery dancing wildly for 3 seconds. 'this is good, tino sehgal, 2002.'  A woman on the floor of an empty room writhing a caterpillar dance. 

Beautiful. 

New photos posted, and a video from London.  More to come. 

A story: Riding the ferry between Dublin and Wales, I am sitting near the window, watching the sea, editing photos, while dangerbaby and S are sleeping.  A man comes up and sits down near me. 
"Hey," says he in a familiar tone.
"Hey," I utter back, "How's it goin'?"
We proceed to the long train ride to London together, him and his friend, both New Yorkers, here for business, and vacation.  We talk shit for a few hours, until he tells me where he's been staying in Dublin.  Shit.  Client.  I realize, he's emailed me over the past few days from an ad stating that I was in Dublin.  He knows exactly who I am, and hasn't let on.  Nothing came of it, but now, now that I realize, here I am trapped on a train with a would-be client discussing politics and toddler care on the road.  And I am dead tired.  This is too much.  What a fucking small world.  He proceeds to tell us he's got a bachelor party in New Orleans (we assume his own) and that we should all meet for dinner the next day.  Then, via email, he backs out. 
No hard feelings, but you ought to pay me for the conversation.  That's all.  Good luck with everything, and I do like that hat you were wearing.

I am craving home, and the desert, and the sunshine, but I look forward to more connections with snow bound friends before I go there. 

Also this:  what do you think play-doh smells like?  Marzipan and Vanilla?  Salt and springtime?  What are your favorite smells?  The ones that conjure up memories, or the ones that just make you feel at ease?  Here are some of mine...
bread baking
the smell of the desert after a rain (creosote)
vanilla, ylang-ylang and neroli
A and F woods cologne, sadly, I still love.
fresh basil
red cabbage
a lit match
a garage in the middle of winter

I am utterly scent-sensitive these days, and strong perfume can send me into paroxysms of nausea.  But the smells I love, I love, and scent has a way of wiring its way into our memories like no other sense.  I am curious about smell now.  Tell me.

Thinking of you,
Surgeon

..

I will be traveling soon, and I want to see you, if we're in the same place.

Here's my itinerary.  Come find me.

Also, looking for possible places to crash in Dublin, London, and Paris.  If you know anyone, please let me know.    Baby friendly.

Dec. 5-10 Chicago
Dec. 11 Dublin
Dec 12-17th Paris
Dec. 18-24th London
Dec. 25 and 26 Dublin
Dec 27-Jan 2nd Minneapolis
Jan. 3-8th Chicago

There it is friends.  Check it.

Shooting a fetish film with Bleu Productions here in the desert this weekend.  B is here, turquoise hair intact, just finished cleaning up the kitchen from a dinner party with several out of town guests, L and A, up from Douglas where they've been working at the migrant resources center, the film crew from Paris, our new friend E who's just moved here from Philly, Sebs fresh from the no borders camp and european squats, Kym and partner and new baby in town for the meanwhile.  Today I've been running around picking up the requisite fishnets, holsters, leatherette accoutrements, dying my hair, cooking a large meal for said assorted guests, potty training the baby, and getting my neck cracked six ways from Sunday.

The film is a Mandarin inspired military outrigger post punk apocalyptic desert fetish rodeo cowgirl pinkerton hitchhiking kidnapping thing.  We're going for a consistent aesthetic, obviously.

Here we go...again.

thinking of you,
Surgeon

thinking of you,
surgeon

Such a very crazy week, weekend, and upcoming weeks.  this is straight to business.  Cause I got a lot on my mind.

Bikini Oil Change for SWOP.  11/10 12-3pm
Jorge's Auto Shop 1723 S Park in Tucson
Come get your oil changed by hot, scantily clad women and support the good cause that is the Sex Workers' Outreach Project.  I will personally be rocking the hot pants and safety glasses look, and will personally make sure you're well lubed up.  Bike riders get love and kisses, because you are amazing. 

TUCSON: Part of the TPAC Open Studios Tour. 

"SUBLIMATION" at Splinter Bros. Warehouse
Timur Siqin, Natalie Brewster Nguyen, Eliane Paulino, Denise Uyehara
www.splinterbros.com
901 13th Ave @ Main and 2nd, Tucson, AZ
November 10 + 11,  6:30pm-10pm (performance at 7pm)
Admission is FREE

PHOENIX
"MAMA/BABY/DADA"
Natalie Brewster Nguyen, Denise Uyehara with their children
Sula Ray and Rene Tingaara
Teatro Caliente Festival
at the PHiX Gallery
1113 NW Grand Ave., Phoneix
November 16, 7pm

hope to see you there!

thinking of you.
surgeon.

So the most amazing Mama Blossom aka Atena wrote to Juliette and the Licks and what follows is their correspondence.  I think it says quite a lot about the whole subject.  Appropriation, racism, entitlement, and the lack of concern that people in dominant groups (not excluding myself here) tend to when confronted with issues of privilege and oppressive behavior.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mama Blossom
Date: Oct 27, 2007 3:55 AM


Hi Juliette (or if not Juliette, Hi Whomever Is Reading This Message),

Someone recently called to my attention how you use a feathered headdress as a part of your "Rock and roll warrior" image. I checked out your website and myspace - it seems like you've been using it pretty extensively, and how other people are imitating it at your concerts.

Heads up - the way that you are using of this symbol, which is a clear (and from the gist of what I read of your comments, intentional) reference to "native americans," is careless and really pretty disrespectful.

I'm not writing this message to jump on your ass, or pretend like I'm some superior person. I have nothing to gain from that. And this has nothing to do with whether or not I like your work (from what I've heard, it sounds reasonably cool - kudos for following a different path).

I'm putting this out there because I can't complain about anything anyone does if I'm not willing to back it up with some action that seeks to change things. And you should have a chance to learn about what people are saying, and change the behavior and (more importantly) the system that supports it, if you are so inclined.

You're in a position to be heard by a lot of people, and the image you're putting out there takes advantage of the painful history of native americans in this country without paying any respect to it. This is problematic in the extreme. (And I say 'native americans' specifically because your feathers refer to an idea and not any real tribe or nation, from what I can tell.)

Please check this out this myspace conversation on my friend's blog for a much more elegant and passionate articulation about why:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&frien
dID=280572&blogID=320577899&Mytoken=3891C9CF-1FCF-4AF0-93D90CC4
86DFA20926359246

Thanks for listening, and Peace


--- Atena

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Juliette and The Licks
Date: Oct 27, 2007 4:53 PM


this is not Juliette but I personally get what you're saying but the symbols eventually lend themselves to pop culture and the art, hence the crucifix etc. Juliette just used the symbol as a Warrior, an army unto herself, a symbol of purpose and unwavering intention. Now to go out and speak on behalf of the indian people or speak at all about the history or heritage of the indian race and the symbol she has adopted, you think what she's doing now is borderline offensive? well then that would take the cake and she would be lambasted and slandered for all time if she were to act as spokes person for something she is not connected to at all. Talk about offensive. If one wheres the cross, it is not an insult to catholocism, its just the way thing filter through the ages and become reduced to fashion, or you could say keeps the aesthetic and history familiar and open to interpretation.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mama Blossom
Date: Oct 28, 2007 6:43 AM


Thanks for responding - I appreciate it.

So, I realized that the url I pasted in doesn't work. Please just look up the blog for Surgeon Mama on MySpace - the entry is titled, 'Juliette Lewis Sucks' - it's the most recent entry. It'll take about 5 minutes of your time.

Like I said before, the point is argued more effectively there and actually addresses the point you have made (someone actually said almost the exact same thing as you did), and explains why such an argument is insufficient to excuse (or extol) careless misappropriation in the face of genocide. I really hope you'll take a look at it, and hear what people are getting at.

Thanks again,


---Atena

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Juliette and The Licks
Date: Oct 28, 2007 12:40 PM


yawn



So there you have it folks.  The jury's in...and Juliette and Licks still suck.

thinking of you,
Surgeon