Splitting my time between running seminars/workshops in witchcraft, ritual & magickal training at my home some evenings, making strange jewellery, running the shop in The Vaults, here in Scarborough, and spending each weekend up at Whitby. Not a great deal of time for sleep or the many other varied projects I'm wishing to work on. I have, therefore, decided to close the shop for two weeks after the Samhain festivities, kick off my shoes and shut myself in my studio for most of that fortnight - so do note the shop won't be open at the beginning of November! 
In the meantime, the rest of this month is pretty hectic due to the organisation of the forthcoming major Fire festival, preparations for the Goth Weekend, and having an important personage visit me very soon. I have, however, just found time to update my website and have added a few online shop pages (having made the decision not to engage in a full seperate online shop after all). The autobiography To Wear a Gown of Thorns is being posted on the website, rather than on here from now on - www.taghairmarts.com
I'm just tweeking the 'early years' Chapters before lunging into my crazy teenage ones, which, I intend to do next month (as well as paint a canvas!)
Phew - I'm wearing myself out just typing this ...... so shall go and fall into bed right now!

The first seasonal rite held in Scarborough (Lammas) of the Scarborough Pagan Circle (SPC) went really well and was enjoyed by all. No dog walkers, or any others, disturbed us, or were sent off scurrying at the sight of folks performing within stone circle. It was a calm, warm night and the rain abated for the duration, only beginning to lightly drizzle as we feasted after the ceremony, before going our seperate ways. It was a small gathering of just nine, a number I'm  expecting to double by the time Mabon comes upon us. 
I've just returned from my first weekend at Whitby. It was an enjoyable excursion and I'm making new friends fast! I shall be there every Saturday and Sunday from now on. During those days I shall be reading Tarot and performing Chakra cleansing/balancing/energising at Free Spirit shop in Church Street. Also planned is a talk/seminar 'An introduction to Paganism & Witchcraft' a week on Saturday. This will be a cosy 'limited number' event, pre-booked and pre-paid, and will be repeated every other week, or even each week if demand warrants it. Contact either myself or email the propietor - srobsonloki@yahoo.com for further details if you have an interest in attending.
Now I shall chill out for a bit before getting back down to my own shop tomorrow!
P.S By the way, the pre-Lammas danger was avoided - the gentleman in question turned out to have a bit of a suspect spirituality!

Now unless you purchase a pagan magazine, or already in contact with other pagans, you may be missing the opportunity to meet others who celebrate the Old Religion. There is a pagan group in Scarborough, with regular pub moots, seasonal celebrations, and recourse to workshops/seminars and training. It is an eclectic group, open to all paths and all ages, long-time practitioners and newcomers alike, and we welcome those from other areas to come and join us (overnight accommodation in 'bring a bag' style can be offered). Simply contact me for details!

Now, somebody really ought to write a song with the title of this blog entry!!!

And as a philosophy of life it's a better one to adopt at present. Still having to deal with intractable people, but had a few more evolved ones in the shop today, plus a few laughs, so things haven't been so stressful.

Chapter One of autobiog. is now back online - see my website -
www. taghairmarts.com

Awwwwww!!! There were those tiny babies on the tree, full of promise, and, today, upon examination, I discover the birds have scoffed them and the branches are bare!
And I guess, what with all the other stuff going down of late, it's pretty dam typical. Things have taken a downturn, and I'm feeling impatient, stressed and frustrated that certain stuff isn't coming together as quickly and smoothly as it should, and at having to deal with unreliable, rude and disrespectful people. When I eventually get around to the writing of this period in my autobiography, "The Birds Have Ate my Peaches" would be a very apt title!!
Having slowed myself down, I am in the process of re-writing the first four chapters. I will start posting them back on my website tomorrow. Only minor changes/additions were made to the first chapter (the others need a bit more). Having pondered further, I've decided not to get clever with it, employ 'meta-literary' devices, address the reader directly, add too much description or make too much authorial comment. So it will be kept simple.
What is really proving difficult is trying to find that quiet time to write with chaos going on all around and no routine of any sort - at the present I'm just snatching moments, and having to break off before I'm really into it - which is really not good. Perhaps I shall have to discipline myself to rise very early and write for two or three hours before the town wakes up! Now, if I could manage that it would be like changing into a different sort of person completely - from being a nocturnal being to a child of the dawn.  Aliester Crowley would certainly advocate this for me as an exercise in the  'training of the Will', I'm sure! 

A friend, who read the first draft of the initial chapters, made the comment that it seemed as if I were racing through it a bit. Well, I guess that was the case, and a most probably a direct result of me desiring to get to those parts of my life that I know I will enjoy writing about (like the two and a half years I spent in a particularly gothic Catholic Convent).
There is also, I feel, as yet, not enough description of places and people, so fleshing out with more of this is needed. That the modern reader, habituated to 'fast action', would grow weary of lengthy descriptive passages of the Dickensian sort, I am well aware. Therefore, any impulse to bog the writing down with a too superfluous and extended lyricism shall, of course, sensibly be avoided.
And stylistically I wonder whether I should weave in my present insights as I write of distant past experience, and/or maybe, directly address the reader as author. Do I prevent the reader from identifying with the main protagonist? Rob her or him of the comfort zone of being seperate and distinct? Being trained in contemporary theatre practice, I almost feel an impulse to rip down the barriers, but whether it would really work with this genre is, perhaps, debatable (Genet being an exception).
But onwards - I write again, and perhaps will re-write further these first chapters, until such a point comes when I feel a degree of satisfaction about them. Only then, will I know what works, have a basis for subsequent chapters and the work as a whole.
The beginning of any written work of considerable length is a setting out on some marvellous adventure. Even though one can believe oneself very prepared, with copious notes, or wealth of memory, the terrain will, inevitably, throw up unexpected challenges along the way.
On a different note, according to shamanic thought, 'energy goes where concentration goes - and energy makes manifest'. So - since I am concentrating upon my early childhood in these chapters, I would not be at all surprised if a copy of Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby or a Rupert Bear annual should appear from somewhere! LOL!!

Checked out the local Jazz/Blues club last week - (Jazz on every Wednesday night and Blues on Thursdays).  Since my friend, Di, has gotten into Jazz over the last couple of years and has taken to travelling through from a nearby town, I ended up meeting her down there on the Wednesday. Now, I not having followed suit in musical taste, pure Jazz, for the most part, doesn't really hit any spots with me and I was somewhat unappreciative. I tried to analyse just what it was that I didn't like, but came up with no real answers. It wasn't an aversion to any of the instruments, (and, even, some of the rock I'm particularly fond of has Jazz elements). I even went so far as trying to determin which part of the body the music was affecting, and it felt to be more in the upper chest for me, though Di, maintained Jazz was celebral (but then, she was using logic rather than feeling). I shall pop in again, though, just in case it was those particular set of musicians and keep an open verdict.
Blues I've listened to all my life, so won't have the same problems, and that could be as pure as it comes! Just hoping some of it comes away from the slicker 'city' stuff at times.
Intending to make enquiries in order to find out if a folk club exists here early next week.
As for music festies in the town - sadly the 'Party on the Beach' rock thing has been scrapped this year, but there is an 'acoustic festival' in Peasholm Park in Autumn.
This is a town that traditionally loves music (the famous Penthouse was here)- so I guess there will be loads going on. There is also an annual Drama festival and a Literature festival which I will have time for this year. It all just needs a bit of investigation and for me to keep an eye on programs of events and the like!

Well, I'm not what could be called a fastidious gardener - rather just a 'dig a hole, put it in and hope for the best' type. But now that the blossom has blown away I discover signs of fruiting appearing on some of the things I planted last year. There are promises of gooseberries, blueberries, rhubarb and apples for sure, and a tree planted in a half barrel looks as if it is going to bear apricots (which is quite delightful since I read that many folks having these get no fruit at all). No signs of anything on the plum, cherry or kiwi as yet, but they do look healthy enough.
I planted other things last year apart from fruit - shrubs, flowers, herbs and a lilac tree, which at present has burst into deep purple clusters and smells lovely. I'm creating a garden here that will eventually be abundant and full, with a sort of  Victorian cottage garden feel to it - even thrown in a few hollyhocks to boot! Needless to say, I've spent the day in the garden!

Now that the shop is pretty much set up and well stocked, my attention has turned back to my abode and I've had a guy in to help undertake more changes to it over the last couple of weeks. Fourteen months down the line and I begin to feel more settled in it. It has been two years of packing, unpacking, sorting, moving stuff around, cleaning up, sorting, decorating etc. etc. etc. and I have done so much. Very soon now, perhaps, I shall become more sociable, have time to concentrate on my painting, sculpting and writing, and enjoy those beautiful areas of Scarborough I could easily reach on foot! There are times ,when, if one decides to kick over the board game of life, it takes some time to rearrange the pieces again! The patterning of the pieces are now much more to my liking - just needing to find and add a few more pieces to complete it! 

From a shamanic viewpoint all emotion is rooted in, and coloured by, memory. Memory, of course, not only contains all that has happened to us in the past, but also all we have been told, all books read, films, plays, tv programes watched, songs listened to, etc. etc. etc. It would follow, then, that all emotion is tainted and reactions to events in the present are governed by the past. To distrust emotional stirrings instigated by current stimuli is healthy, and should strong emotion be evoked an endeavour to trace the corresponding memory (memories), to dissipate the charge, is a process of self discovery, a shedding and an enlightening.

There is a commonly held notion that our experiences of life, especially those that happen early, shape who we are, are instrumental in what we become. Not so!!! It is our attitudes to those experiences NOW that make us who we are!!

The pursuit of happiness is the projection of the past into the future, and happiness being relative and fleeting is a futile goal.

Only pure joy in the here and now has any reality and worth. The moment of power is always NOW!!!!

Well, the folks came last night and informed me (after re-investigations) that, though the energy of the room had greatly improved, the 'presence' still remained. Prior to this I had cleansed and purified the room in the usual witchy way.  Now, me not being one who has ever delved into the practice of  directly 'talking to the dead' (and, in all honesty, ever likely to), I allowed others to set up the conversations. But to cut what could be a long story short, I was told that there were three spirits in all - a man named William who had worked here as a servant 100-150 years ago and treated like s**t, a young girl and another who fed off them. Before aiding William and the girl 'into the Light' we threw them a bit of a 'farewell party'. They both went easily after that (maybe they weren't too impressed by the music). I was told the third one hadn't been generated by a dead person, but was rather a nature spirit and that it would fade quickly due to the others departing, it not being able to turn its vampiric tendencies to the living. I re-smudged the room with white sage before bed and slept well. Now my own acceptence of all this is a little in doubt for I can only fully concur so far. That a place (or indeed object) stores the energy of all that has happened in it or to it, I am in no doubt,  for this is my direct experience. That places, things, can be cleansed of, or charged with energy, I know - but after that point .... Perhaps, indeed, energy residues of a man called William and a young girl were recorded and remained in the fabric of this place and my friends were able to pick up on these, but the question remains as to whether it is really possible to communicate with the generators of these energies after their death or whether the generation of such communications are merely in the imaginative mind of those attempting to do so. And do the dead really need the help of the living, on occasion, to aid them on a journey? Hmmm, perhaps I will hold on to a question mark as a preference and choose not slip into the paradigm of spiritualism. What is of more importance is the energy of the bedroom now feels in keeping with the rest of the flat - serene! And just what brought about that change is open to interpretation, if one chooses to interpret at all!