How did the rose ever open its heart and give to this world all its beauty? It felt the encouragement against its Being, Otherwise, we all remain too frightened. Hafiz

On Monday, I Twittered this: 

Tall, definitely dark-haired (have never been attracted to the blonde ones), of course handsome. Can play an instrument, has read more books than I have, bi-lingual is important to me. Sorry, but you have to have artistic ability. Maybe you're a chef? They seem passionate enough. I seem to be attracted to guys that are kinda gay. I don't know, it's a problem I have. You are a little geeky (meaning you could fix my electronics if I needed you to, but wouldn't spend all weekend playing computer games), you are of course witty. I mean, c'mon.  Sense of humor is absolutely necessary. it's been my experience that guys who admire Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are interesting and funny AND have something to say. You have read On The Road by Kerouac and actually liked it. I have a thing for guys that are kind of tortured. I like them a little bit broken...

Basically Im looking for a crazy concoction of Paul Rudd+Joaquin Phoenix+Edward Cullen+Dave Gahan+Rufus Wainwright.

Where are you??

I remember our introduction well.

It was late night at Aeropostale about five years ago. It must have been around the Holidays because there were a lot of us sales associates closing that night.  I remember Marites standing on a ladder hanging up sweatshirts or jackets or something along those lines.  I was assigned to folding jeans - my forte.  I was half paying attention to the banter criss-crossing between my witty co-workers and half concentration on folding the damn jeans fast. I was tired; I wanted to go home. It was late at night.

Marites uttered your name first. I don't even remember what she said exactly, but I just remember being so confused. My what? Who's space? Marites' space? WHAT?? Confusion. 

I spoke up. "Uh, who's space are you guys talking about?" I heard quiet laughter and felt embarrassed for not being in the know.

"Myspace, T. It's a website kind of like Friendster. Sign up for it and then add me!!" Lara peeped from behind the register. 

I had no idea what Friendster was either, but it sounded friendly enough. That night when I got home, as tired as I was, I signed up with you.  I uploaded a picture of some actress who was not me because I wasn't expecting anything fun or cool or worth my time to come from our new relationship.  I was intentionally just dipping my toe in your waters to check for temperature.

Marites added me first. She also left us our first comment.  She said something about me being a slacker at work and I just felt so rad because my page had one comment on it. It didn't matter that I had no idea what a comment was. It also didn't matter that our only two friends were some dude named Tom and my favorite co-worker who happened to have like, 300 friends on HER Myspace. I tried hard not to be jealous.

We took off with a bang, you and I.  I was so fond of you and your immediate acceptance of me, I introduced people to you. (They know who they are, and I am really sorry).  You were so addicting right from the get-go.  I couldn't put you down. Like any good dysfunctional relationship there was drama. OH...there was drama.  I was so young and I had no idea how to be in love...it is quite embarrassing to see it now that I am a few years older and wiser.  I spent more time with you than I did my real-life boyfriend.  (He hated you, but don't worry, I ignored him whenever he talked bad about you...) I met a lot of amazing people through you. Musicians, and pen pals and old friends and new friends and celebrities. Suddenly I had so many good people in my life because of you. I was so grateful. I even forgave myself for becoming your sick addict.  These new relationships were just proof of the good in your existence. 

Something has changed though, Myspace.  Something is different.  I'm not sure if it's you or if it's me, but I don't feel the same about you as I always have.  I check Facebook before I check you these days.  Somedays I don't even want to check you at all because I feel like I'm being ignored.  A lot of people feel this way. I hate to say it, but it's true.  You are losing your power right before my eyes. I just thought you should know.  Are you going through an identity crisis?  A quarter-life crisis?  You are still so young! I'm not sure what's going on, but we have changed. And I think we need a break. 

I will always be fond of you for your brilliant taste in music, Myspace, but I need some distance from you. You always seem so interested in how my day is going; you ask me what I'm doing (something you never used to do until a few years ago. I think you're just trying to be more like Facebook. I would tell you to knock that off, but you aren't going to listen to me.)...you ask me what I'm doing, I tell you, but you don't really listen do you?  It's a one-sided conversation and I'm not used to you being so indifferent with me.  Something has to change.

I'm going away and I'm not sure when or if I'll come back.  I have this new fling, you see. His name is Twitter.  Don't laugh, I think it's a cool name. He gives me the time of day right along with breaking news.  I feel HEARD, which, let's be honest here buddy - you are incapable of making me feel that at this point in time. Oh, and of course there's Facebook. Your way cooler, way hotter arch enemy. I've decided against deleting our page, so I'll leave you with my memories. Besides this tongue-in-cheek Dear John letter, that's all you can have of me.


The harsh reality is this, Myspace: You need me, I don't need you.





Best,
Teresa

You know you're obsessed with something when it starts invading your unconscious time. Two weeks ago I was introduced to the world that is Stephenie Meyer's imagination. In it, vampires fall head over heels - no, that's not even intense enough of a description. Let me start over. In it, vampires fall so madly and deeply in love with humans that they are willing to not make love to them in order to keep the humans alive. Yeah. It's THAT crazy. So crazy that I actually really, really love it. It's sort of frenzied love, really. Meyers' has such a vivid way of telling a story that you really believe that you are part of this huge fantasy world. We girls love the bad boys, and I'm no different but this story takes that concept to a WHOLE new level.

I had a dream last night about Edward and Bella. Now, if you haven't heard about Twilight, maybe you have been living under a rock or perhaps in a cave that doesn't have WiFi. First off, that is actually really cool and can I come and hang out with you for a little while? I've been meaning to get in some connect-with-nature/ditch-technology time on my schedule. Second, it's okay. I kind of understand. I didn't see myself enjoying these books or the movie, but I went in with an open mind and I'm uh, happy that I did. Sue me! Let me say this: If you are a man and I know that what I'm about to say will sound sexist and rude and I'm sorry, but it's quite possibly just the truth. If you are man, you will not like these books. Meyer's wrote this love story from the perspective of a 17 year old girl. I probably shouldn't need to say much more than that because that says plenty. There are lots of "I would die for you"'s (literally) and "You are my life now"'s. Etc. But hey if you're a dude and you feel like fiery romance is missing from your life, by all means. Pick up Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. In that order! I'll make it easy for you. Click HERE.

I have never dreamed about fictional characters before. Not mine, not someone else's and surely not ones that I've fallen in love with. Last night right before bed I had just finished the partial draft of Meyer's new book Midnight Sun. Which is Twilight told from Edward's perspective. Naturally dreaming about the last thing that your waking mind was immersed in, is not so odd. What I find odd is that I have no qualms about admitting my obsession. Seriously if they had Twilight Anonymous meetings for people over 13, I'd probably be the moderator. Why does this not bother me?? Why am I okay with having something in common with annoying 13 year old girls?? Why am I not disturbed by the fact that I want a vampire to love me?? What is going on!

The theory as to why these books have become so insanely popular (a cult following really), as I briefly mentioned above, is because every girl wants a bad boy at least to some degree. More than that though I think that a lot of people believe the character Edward to be the perfect man. Yeah, so he drinks blood and has killed people before and loves Bella so much that he wants to kill her. So what? That doesn't take away from the fact that Edward would literally do anything to keep Bella safe. Ah ha! You see that insane irony? That's what's so amazing about the dynamic of the books. Keep Bella safe = keep Bella away from the vampire. Not in Bella's mind. I want to be more like Bella in that I want to want something with the fervent passion that she wants Edward. As I'm typing this, I can't help but cringe a little. I can't help but cringe A LOT. What has happened to me? I used to be so cynical and so jaded by love and love stories and lovely characters. If I had been introduced to these books two years ago, I would have burned them. No questions asked. Is it safe to say that I've become softened again because of a vampire? Probably. Bite me. (Sorry, I had to go there...)

I don't know. I don't care. Stephenie Meyer is a genius. She's a woman who started writing this story after she had a dream about a vampire falling in love with a human girl. She thought, "Hey, this is a good and weird story. I'd better write a book and maybe I can finally pay off my mini-van." The book ending up selling 25 million copies. I want her imagination asap. If I can't have the vampire, just give me her imagination. And since I know I can't have that either, just give me more dreams. I like the place they take me away to.
So I have joined two cults in the span of two weeks: 1.) The cult that is Twilight, and 2.) The cult that believes in romance. Now would be a good time to see the therapist I'm imagining...


~T~