And I'll never forget...

Buttercups.

The smell of the grass after my dad mowed.

Pigtails.

Skinned up elbows and knees.

Bottle rocket wars.

Grandma's bacon... (and her green beans)

Camping.

Grandpa in the back room on his CB radio.

the train tracks.

Walks to the store to buy cookie dough.

Mrs. Duey

Trying not to get caught.

Climbing trees... and falling out.

Our clubhouses.

Freeze tag.

Softball tournaments that lasted all weekend.

Grandaddy and Grandpa fighting over who loved me more.

Ripping the limbs off my Barbies.

Cotton, Denim, and Calico.

Daddy's blue jean hat.

Big wheels.

Wiggles the Wabbit.

Exchanging "blankies" with Aunt Kay the day she died.

Mom's potpourri.

Make believe sword fights.

Terry Turner, Jake Resor's clubhouse, and my first kiss.

Josh's bow and arrow.

Field trips.

The Rec Park and the field that day.

The sound our washing machine made.

Daddy's patience while teaching me to drive.

Our kiddie pool at Grandma's.

the stairs we weren't supposed to go up.

My sister knocking me out with a softball.

Snow days and the Price is Right.

Yard sales with Grandma.

"The trading game" with Kristi.

Granddaddy calling me Doll.

My mother's strong endurance.

The rock quarry.

Beating up Natalie Rice in 7th grade.

The smell of honeysuckels.

Rock Island.

Throwing up at the fair-- right in front of that cop!

Snorkeling in Punta Cana.

Throwing paper wads off Lisa's balcony.

The mace at Aunt Sissy's.

JJ Casserole.

Laguarda.

Getting kicked out of the casino.

The neighborhood.

Paducah.

the sound of crunching metal.

Uncle Eddie's belt buckles.

The broken unicorn.

Daddy fixing EVERYTHING.

The way my teeth felt when i finally got my braces off.

AMWAY.

Those meaningless romances.

Naptime.

Celery and peanut butter for snacktime.

Hide N Go Seek in the dark.

Learning how to walk-- both times.

The back of Mr. Gonyea's class.

Weedgy.

Kissing in the rain.

Donnie Knipher and the rides on his wheelchair.

The day I got my faith back.

~*MJay*~

I read today that China has sent another rocket to the moon… but this one has an actual High Def lens on it… High Def! On a space ship… Get out of here… That's just insane to me. Technology… oh man… IPODS and Iphones, we have cars now that you can start from inside your house, cameras that can go through walls and pick up infrared rays, and governments who can keep enough tabs on you that it registers every single person that ever buys a specific item, or even visits another country more than once (which is a completely different topic for a completely different day).

But the point is what we've lost in all these gains… our simplicity, our true nature, ourselves. What ever happened to the effortless way of life? The simple life? What ever happened to sitting down to dinner around the table with your family at night just to enjoy one another's words? I remember being a kid and not being able to contain myself if I had to stay inside. And now, these kids today, with their Xbox and their Playstations, don't even know what the sun's warmth feels like.

People won't even walk 30 feet anymore to talk with their neighbor… it's all done in a text message.

What the hell is going on here?

When was the last time you just stopped and looked at the nature around you. The beautiful prescence that once took your breath away as an innocent child… when you used to lie on your back to make images out of the clouds, stopping on a skip to stop and smell some honeysuckles, or climbing the trees just to look at all the different color leaves…

Now people are too busy to notice. You just walk on by talking on your cell phones, or drive right past in your new hybrid cars… you never take the time to see  anymore. It all gets past by in a blur of electronic components and cybernetics.

We need to take back in the beauty of our nature, and forget the mundane monotony of these wordly things.

It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you… it's what you leave behind you when you go.

Transcendentalism is key.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote the short story "Nature" and if you've never read it, you should.

He has so many agreeable points. In this he writes, "In the woods too, a man cast off his years, as the snake his slough, and at what period soever of life, is always a child. In the woods, is perpetual youth… In the woods we return to reason and faith… Standing on the bare ground, my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball."

I know what the problem is:....

....

MTV, HBO, Playboy, (or any other genres of this type of entertainment ) and the basis of sex as the number one sales tactic in America.....

....

Yes.....

....

Let me explain something to you fellas....

Youre all insane.....

....

Okay look, girls with big tits have big asses, girls with little tits have smaller asses, THATS JUST THE WAY IT WORKS. ....

God doesnt mess around. Hes a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, giant balloon boobies, and the skinnies got the little, tiny, nibblers. If you dont like it CALL HIM.....

....

Take a Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler whatever your flavor is ....

Open it up to that whore in the center....

Yeah, thats nice, right?....

....

WELL IT DOESNT EXIST, OKAY!!....

....

Lets start with the hair, ....

long, ....

flowing,....

like a damn river....

Well, its a weave, okay?....

....

And the tits PLEASE! I could hang my coat on em ....

Tits, by design, were intended to be suckled by babies. ....

Yeah, theyre purely functional. ....

THOSE- are silicon city.....

....

And my favorite the perfectly shaven pubis. Pubic hair being so unruly and all ....

Very vain. ....

This, is a mockery. ....

This, is a sham. ....

This, is bullshit.....

..< O:P>

Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the fat tucked in, the hair extended, (and dyed and fried) the nose perfectly proportioned....

....

-pffftt-....

....

THESE ARENT REAL WOMEN!....

....

Theyre beauty freaks. (And a lot of airbrush.)....

And they make us REAL women, with our blemishes, our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, and our cellulite....

--Seem somewhat inadequate.....

....

What?....

You fuckers actually think that there is a chance in HELL that youd end up with a woman like that?....

....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (excuse me)....

(clears throat)....

....

And in thinking this you never gave us REAL women a chance.....

....

WE DONT STAND A CHANCE.....

....

Its pathetic.....

You cant approach any type of commitment with the REAL women- THE ONES THAT DESERVE IT- because you have your heads so far up Barbies plastic asshole.....

....

Yeah....

I said it.....

....

I dont know what youre expecting, or hoping for wishing maybe,. BUT IT DOESNT EXIST!....

....

Youre going to end up 80 years old, with your wrinkled old balls full of semen, drooling in some nursing home.

And then youll decide that its time to settle down, get married, and have kids. But what are you gonna do? ....

Find a cheerleader?....

Hahahaha....

OH, BITE ME.....

....

Look at you with your supermodels on your walls, and your stupid MAXIM magazines lying everywhere.....

Youre all crazy to think that is beauty. That these are real women.....

If you had one ounce of self-esteem, self-worth, or self-respect, you would realize that as trite as it may sound:....

....

*BEAUTY TRULY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP*   ....

....

And you know what else?....

If you ever did somehow hook up with one of these women I GUARANTEE youd get sick of her.....

....

GET OVER YOURSELVES!....

....

No matter how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh, how pretty the face, ....

unless theres something more in the relationship besides the physical ....

ITS GOING TO GET OLD.

....

And you guys, as a gender, need to get a grip--- FAST.....

Otherwise, the future of the human race is in jeopardy.....

....

AND US REAL WOMEN....

WONT STAND A CHANCE.

....
~*Mindy Penny*~

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh Man.

I could watch that shit over and over and over....

Hahahahahaha....

~*Miss Sativa*~

Joke of a Race

We laugh.

We cry.

We live.

We die.

We care.

We shake.

We share.

We take.

We sin.

We repent.

We grin.

We consent.

We explain.

We deny.

We complain.

We reply.

We acknowledge.

We decline.

We demolish.

We define.

We compromise.

We spy.

We improvise.

We lie.

We defend.

We cheat.

We pretend.

We beat.

What a race,

what a nature...

What a waste,

What a rapture.

"We the people,"

No longer exists...

We deleted the virtues,

and filled it with myths.

Church and State,

are to seperate...

Only to comprise,

more problems.

We screwed ourselves,

In our own ass...

We took it hard,

and we took it fast.

Open your eyes,

You pathetic wastes of space...

Get back to the basics,

and take back our race.

~*Mindy Johnson*~

(1/10/06)

MIMICS

Look into yourself for once,

See who you really are...

Do you even know what to be anymore?

Or have you fallen way to far?

You simply follow in their footsteps,

and fear to find yourself,

you act like their little puppet...

Like Santa's fucking elf.

If they left now, whatever would you do?

Would you know which way to turn?

Could you do it on your own?

or would you crash and burn?

You act just like sheep,

all standing with the herd...

To try and pick you out of the crowd,

Would simply be absurd.

It makes me sick,

when I stare at you...

Not ever knowing who you are,

or knowing what to do.

If you took away,

all the trendy clothes...

would your "friends" even recognize you?

No one even knows.

It's so terribly sad that you don't know,

who to be without them...

What are you gonna do when they're not there?

When they move on to new "friends"?

I'll laugh in your face,

when you fall on yours...

You'll lie there and die there...

Fake ass personalities have no cure.

~*Mindy Johnson*~

12/21/05

*To Thine Own Self Be True*

The Blind Man

As the two men listened to the preacher’s sermon, they had no way to know the things God would teach them this day. The sermon was about eliminating pride through prayer, a subject everyone needs to hear. Both were good men, regulars at Sunday worship and active in the church. They had been friends for several years and each Sunday came to church together. Bill was blind and his only way to attend was for someone to bring him. Dave was the kind of person always ready to help someone.

At the end of the sermon, the invitation asked for those in need to come down front for prayer. Bill, using his cane, made his way down the isle. Dave sat watching as his heart swelled with joy for his friend. The prayers concluded, the congregation began to exit and Dave found Bill and helped him to the car in the lot. They spoke little on the drive home as they sat in silent reverence.

Dave dropped off Bill at his house and began his trip home; glad Bill had been able to overcome his problem. As he drove, he began to wonder what issues with pride Bill had been battling. He found it interesting a man with his handicap was capable of finding things of which to be proud. He hoped Bill would be willing to talk about it, and maybe he could help Bill, from falling back into pride.

By the time Dave got home the question had become more than he could bear. He decided to call Bill and invite him to lunch; this might give him the opportunity to ask Bill if he could help. With lunch eaten, as the two friends drove home from the restaurant, Dave guided the conversation back towards the morning. At the appropriate time, Dave decided to pop the question and find out the answer for which he was searching. He asked Bill to tell him, if he did not mind, in what area of his life he had asked for prayer for his pride.

Bill, first looking at his lap and then at his friend said, “Dave I was praying for you”. “I have noticed you seem to feel that taking me to church is an act of charity, and that you feel it makes you special in the eyes of God”. “I have heard you tell others you can not join them for events because you have a responsibility to help me”. “You have even complained to them how you give up your time but you know it is what God wants you to do”. “I was praying that God would open your eyes so you could see that what you are doing is not for me”. You have been helping me so you could feel good about yourself, and this feeling has grown into pride”.

When Dave dropped off Bill at his house it was the last Bill heard from Dave that week. Sunday came and Dave arrived on time and they went to church together. This week’s sermon was about the miracles of Jesus and the good works he had done on the earth. On their way home, with a tear rolling down his cheek Dave said to Bill, “Friend, sometimes pride can make us blind but thanks to Calvary, the dumb can now hear, the lame can now walk and even the blind can see”.

Dave and Bill have become inseparable friends. They continue to attend Church together on Sunday. Dave has gotten over his pride and drives Bill now because he enjoys his company. When others see them, they have no way of knowing the truth. One man carries a cane and sometimes needs help to walk. The other can walk but sometimes needs help to see.

With Love;

mj1

As you've probably noticed, I use the term "douchebag," along with some variations (douche-rocket, douche-cracker, douche-nozzle, etc) a lot in describing people.  There are many characteristics one may possess to come across to the public (me) as a douchebag.  Today, by request from my friend Jessica, I was looking at her pictures from spring break in Miami, and I encountered someone who captures all of those aforementioned qualities.  He is, in fact, the essence of douchebag.  And a gay douchebag at that.  Take notes, so you don't make some of the same mistakes.  His name was Oliver, and he was from Michigan.  Two strikes against him already, just by waking up.

Allow me to analyze:

Name:  Oliver.  There aren't many names that are more homosexual than Oliver.  As soon as you were old enough to realize what your name was, you should have killed yourself.  Don't bother trying to change your name, because no matter what, you will always be Oliver, and you will always be from...

Home state:  Michigan.  Or Michidan.  Whichever you prefer.  Worst and gayest state in the union.  God Michigan sucks.

Pink shirt:  I don't give a shit what any of these fashion faggots say, pink is not the new blue.  Pink is fucking pink.  Quit watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and put on a game.  Ever notice that no sports teams in any league have pink anywhere in their uniforms?  Not even the WNBA.  Pink is the color of flowers and hippie's hair and uninfected vagina.  No man should EVER wear this color in any way.  EVER.  If you wear a pink shirt at any time you are a douchebag.  You look like a pussy and a sissy, and I want to shit down your throat.  Especially when you wear a pink shirt with a...

Popped collar:  No.  This just enhances your overly apparent douchebaggedness.  When you buy a collared shirt, it comes with the collars folded over exactly how they should be.  Leave them alone.  Why do you want to hide your neck so bad?  Don't want to show off that hickie you got last night from that dumb slut you slipped some rufies?  Because that is the only way you're pulling any box with your collar turned up.  Girls laugh at you.  No matter what you think, it is not cool.  Flip it back down and go change out of your...

Black undershirt:  Is this supposed to fool us into thinking you're hard?  Let me remind you, you're wearing a PINK shirt, with the collar up.  You are not hard.  Although I guess it matches your...

Wristband:  What the fuck?  This pisses me off maybe more than any other thing here.  Just get done trying to play basketball?  Do you sweat profusely around attractive women, and need to swipe your brow every now and then?  Or is this just another ploy to seduce some unsuspecting whore?  Perhaps you're wearing it because it matches that black undershirt which makes you look hard and brings out your true metrosexuality?  Metrosexuals are gay.  And so are you with your...

Cell phone clip:  Hey dickhead, everyone has a cell phone now.  90 percent of 11 year olds have cell phones now.  My 74 year old grandfather has a cell phone.  There is no need to show it off to anyone.  Pants have pockets for a reason.  Use them.  Oh wait, that's probably where you keep your stash of rufies, and the stuff you use to make that...

Hemp bracelet:  God I hate you, and the fact that you are giving the camera a...

Peace sign:  The Persian Gulf war ended over a decade ago, and with it went the peace sign.  Maybe you were letting that fag behind you checking out your ass know how many fingers you want him to use.  And what's up with those...

"Intellectual glasses": You are not smart.  And those specs aren't tricking us into thinking you are.  Remember, you have on a PINK shirt.  Obviously you are not intelligent.  I mean, come on, you also have on a...

Detroit Tigers hat:  Not that I have anything against the Tigers, but wearing this hat exhibits the fact that you are either from Michigan, or cheer for Michigan sports teams.  Both are equally unacceptable.  Everyone from and everything about Michigan sucks.  Michigan, along with Wisconsin should join Canada.  Or you could just move there.  We wouldn't care.  And Canada wouldn't notice that you're wearing...

Earrings in both ears:  Well I guess we're back in 8th grade now, and you're rebelling against your parents by doing something they don't like.  You are not goth, and you are not a rock star.  You are a douchebag.  Seriously, in your hand is...

Not a beer:  Notice everyone in the picture is holding a beer, except for Oliver.  His Powerade and vodka makes him look like a real tough guy.  Berry Blue.  Mmmmmmmm.  That could expain his...

Stupid facial expression:  The typical look of a douchebag.  "I'm too cool to actually have my picture taken, so when you force me to, I will make a facial expression to make it appear that I am cooler than everyone else around me when in reality I suck cock."  This look will be easy to spot on anyone who displays any of the above.

Now you know how to spot a douchebag, or realize that you are one.  For those of you who aren't, when you see a douchebag on the streets with your friends, make sure to point and laugh at him and give him the Factual Material douchebag salute.  To do this, just extend one hand out, and make a motion with it as if you were, in fact, squeezing a douche bag.  And if anyone recognizes Oliver here somewhere, punch him in the face and break those stupid fucking glasses.

Prickeye says:

"I don't have a collar to pop mothafuck."

~*Miss Sativa*~