Well the days are speeding up and it's just a week now before I go to Atlanta but there has still been plenty of fun and games during the last week. The week began on Saturday night when me and Nichol went to the Ocean Club at Jax beach to watch a band called the Road Show Killers. $5 to get in and a 50s diner style on the left hand side, we watch the band as the 4 piece get off to a swampy blues start followed by some great catchy songs mid-set. Please check them out at their website http://www.myspace.com/theroadshowkillers - their lead singer Rob was the guy who sold me my guitar!

After the show, the band shot off quickly so had little time to thank them and wish them all the best so we agreed to finish our drinks and head to another bar down the road. I was told the streets were paved with gold in the USA but wherever I have been so far they were covered with fake boobs! Seriously, the weather gets them all out but I'm not complaining. We head to an Irish style bar that has some European beers and I grab an Amstel and chat to some people as the background band played awful reggae music with a UB40 twist. Ew! Getting nicely drunk we finally call it quits at 1am and ask our lovely taxi driver (Jaime) to come to where we were and pick us up.

The following day was a tiring one as after just 4 hours sleep the house was awoken by Jaime as we were going a on a trip to the other side of the County. 6.30am? This is preposterous! Ha ha! The place where we were heading was the Ichetucknee State Park which has a river in which you can go tubing (grab a giant rubber ring and float down it)! Awakening from our slumbers and looking like hell, we drag ourselves around the kitchen in a vague attempt to not look like the living dead. We then all meet at the Salon where we split into different cars and begin the long journey (three hours) across the State. Travelling with Dean and Crystal, they kindly allow me to pass out in the back and after a stop to refuel (both the vehicles and ourselves), the next break is at a tube-hire centre where we grab some large inflatables and then finally reach our destination. Feeling more awake now, we have to wait for the cars to be dropped at the final end point and after 45 minutes of lingering and people right about to kill each other, the designated drivers finally return and we head towards the river. The park map is here: http://www.floridastateparks.org/ichetuckneesprings/docs/brochure.pdf

Not sure as to what expect, any fears I had were soon removed, as the day became one of the highlights of the trip so far. The river is crystal clear and a great experience as you get to see the real qualities of Florida (Everglades style flora, fauna and wildlife) all the while floating leisurely down river. Once we joined the river, it was over an hour of traveling before we even saw a departure section and the sides of the river were swampy marshland with gator warnings. No health and safety officials. No signs. Nothing. Nada. Nowt. Just yourself and nature. As we sun ourselves and play splash and take turns singing ("Rolling Down the River" of course) we finally see a departure point but it doesn't allow us to exit and says the next one is 30 minutes further down. Starting to burn and with dark clouds looming all we can see are the odd fellow 'tuber' and one or two turtles - the shelled little bastards not doing anything at all, just sitting there silently mocking us. We weren't allowed to take cameras (mine isn't waterproof anyhow) so here's a short youtube clip I found from the park: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC1B9WUs9Ls&feature=related

Eventually, we get to the departure pier and realise that 3 hours have nearly gone by as we stumble out over the slippery moss covered rocks at the water's edge. That afternoon the weather did indeed take a turn for the worse and with thunder and lightning booming down, we drove slowly back home to get some much needed sleep.

Later that week a crazy thing happened when I was sunbathing at Jaime's house when a car pulled up, the window wound down and a lady voice called from inside and asked if I was the guy from London. What the f*ck? How did she know? I had been here for a couple of weeks and wasn't that white! I said I was and asked her how she knew but she said she was Jaime's Auntie and had been told about my visit! Small world indeed.

In addition, whilst waiting outside with my guitar the next-door neighbours' kids asked me to sing Sweet Home Alabama! Now with guitar ready I have written two new songs. The first is a pop-rock Coheed style number called "Superhero Save Us" which has some cool melodies and some symbolic lyrics about who we turn to in times of trouble whilst the other one is a bluesy/White Stripes-esque minor key song which I've called "Straight Up" and deals with issues of people being honest with each other.

Tuesday morning started with the news that a water pipe under the house had burst so Jaime's dad came over as me and Jaime attempted to turn the water off after digging in the garden to find a switch to stop the water. As Jaime said, she now has her own personal pool - albeit one about 2 foot across filled with brown murky muddy liquid! That evening after a relaxing day we went to watch Sean play roller hockey which their team unfortunately lost in a nail biting final minute and once back home received a message from him saying his team mate had crashed into him in the parking lot. He was NOT a happy fella!

Later in the week we go to see Hancock, in which the trailer suggests is going to be awesome but is really a two part movie - one good (the HAN) and one bad (complete and utter COCK!). It starts as a great superhero satire and soon turns into a dull as ditchwater emotional drama about people twatting about in costumes of which the aforementioned trailer shows you nothing of the sort.

By Tuesday of the following week I went out for some drinks with Matty at the local Applebees after grabbing some new threads at the local Target superstore and proceeded to get really drunk. After switching drinks (being like petrol on a bonfire) and acting like a numpty, I call Jessica and she picks me up from the side of the road near Jaime's house after I nearly pass out at a child's playground and get hit in the face with a late night sprinkler as a stumble away! My face! My face! :-D

After this brief emo moment (ha ha!) I drank with her and her friend Mike until I couldn't stand any longer and they turned a nearby sofa into a bed and I promptly crashed down awaking many hours later feeling rough as a badger's arse! The week has ended with this hangover turning itself into a nice cold - but it's boiling outside - no, I don't understand it either - so have had a few chillaxing days to get my energy back as I get over the American germs!

On Saturday night we drove across State lines to Georgia to celebrate Jaime's friend Crystal's birthday. She was turning 30 and unfortunately her mum had a stroke just days before but Jaime, Matty and me tried our best to cheer her up despite the unfortunate circumstances. After a stop at Target department store we got there in about 45 minutes and were welcomed into the home with a friendly greeting and some superb barbeque food. After the grub, I relaxed as I had eaten far too much and monged out for a bit before the hosts put on Guitar Hero. Having never played it before I got a crappy 47% on easy - I heard Slash can't play it either so I'm in good company! Ha ha!

After this we played on an air hockey table in which I retired undefeated after 3 games and then Crystal put on Singstar - like Guitar Hero but you have to sing the notes accurately. After a few Sangrias that were now nicely flowing around my system, I stepped up and gave it a go. I chose a song close to my heart that would fit this occasion - MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" Ha ha. Much like Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" I still remember all the words so nailed the rap show and mine and Crystal's performance was capped with some tandem parachute pant shuffles in the oh-oh music interlude bit.

After staying on for a few more goes, I didn't get beat until someone chose a song I'd never heard of and failed miserably at that. After doing Weezer's "Buddy Holly" with Jaime, I was next challenged to the Weather Girls hit "It's Raining Men" by Matty. Doing my rock band image no good whatsoever I beat Matty (for shame) but regained some cred with The Rolling Stones but was pipped at the post by Crystal's husband Dean who nailed the outro to "Sympathy For the Devil".

With drinks flowing and Crystal/Jaime's Britney Spears' "Toxic" rendition still ringing in our ears (it still haunts my dreams - http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=37319504) it hit 2am and it was time to head home. We thanked our hosts and wished Crystal all the best as we went back to Florida.

The next day was a staff outing for the ladies at the Salon to the movies. Only Jaime and Ashley showed up much to their anger and we went to see Wall*E , the new Pixar film. Best animated film I'd seen in ages, we loved the lack of dialogue - making it almost Chaplin-esque - but was shocked when Nancy (Jaime's step-mum) showed up in an orange romper suit and biker's bandana that made her look like a mechanic from Guantanamo Bay!

The following day I went to work with Jaime at her beach job and after some food I decided to walk down the road - something no one does here. Managed to keep the sweat at bay as I entered into George's Guitar Shop about 500 metres down the road. This large discount guitar and music shop was very friendly and I asked the nearest shop assistant what their cheapest guitar and bag was. For just $100 I managed to pick up a cheap acoustic guitar - I had been having withdrawal symptoms and I asked the assistant (Rob) about any upcoming gigs. He directed me towards a free events newspaper but also said his band were playing on July 5th so I arranged to go down and see them. Asking if my Motley Crue t-shirt was real I informed him I didn't buy it at a gig of theirs but bought it a year ago when I was last in Jacksonville! Also in the store was a bald guy with a goatee who was from Oxford and had moved here after being in the Navy. A quick discussion about the UK and I said my goodbyes before going back to Jaime's work to show her my new purchase!

As I'm writing this about a week late I forget the exact order of the next events but I manage to squeeze in a drink with Jaime's dad at a local bar one bored afternoon and we put the world to rights on a number of political issues although his proud proclamation as a lifelong member of the NRA (National Rifle Association) put me a bit on edge given that I'm staying with his two youngest daughters for this part of the trip. When we return to the salon I meet a nice girl called Ashley (not Jaime's sister but another one) and we have a chat and she tells me she got breast implants for her high school graduation present! I think her boyfriend appreciated it and I congratulate her on her decision! :D

Later that week me, Shaun and Jaime see the new James Macavoy and Angelina Jolie film called Wanted. It was pretty good and had some great directorial flourishes but had a ridiculous baddie in the fact that it was a fate-loom! Yes, the medieval sewing machine is in fact a world conquering killer! WTF??? On the plus side though the cinema in the USA is cheap, empty, air conditioned and has much bigger seats over here - for the American fatties! Sorry guys and gals but it's a factoid! ;)

The following evening we go to an Italian restaurant with Dana (Jaime's other flat mate). Jaime has her first alcoholic drink of the holiday and she gets wrecked after just two buds and a shot (albeit a huge one i.e. a cup full) of Tequila! After that we come back home where she passes out and me, Dana and Ashley carry on the drinking of Sailor Jerry's, beers and more until the early hours.

By Wednesday, Jaime had arranged for me, Sean and her to go the Jacksonville Suns stadium and watch a minor league baseball game. I did this last time and it was great again as we saw some classic American sports as well as get the obligatory beer and hot dogs from nearby stands. It's great as you can drink on the terraces unlike in the UK. The strangest event was the between-innings "entertainment". First off was a race involving kids chasing after someone dressed as a giant taco whilst later the taco was joined by people dressed as an egg, a ketchup bottle, a mustard container and more for a two lap race around the baseball diamond. Furthermore was a Sumo wrestling match and then a lucky fan had to throw a ball into a bucket for a prize. Not bad I thought until Jaime told me the prize was a $3 sandwich - about the equivalent of winning a Ginster's pasty in the UK I reckon! The night ended with a great firework display as we got ready for more drinks the next day! 

The following evening was a trip to a place called Rack 'Em Up which was supposed to be a quiet drinking tavern with some pool tables about 20 minutes away. When we got there though, we struggled to find parking as the place was full of fraternity boys and girls playing beer pong. Never heard of it myself but here are the rules:

"Basically cups are formed in a pyramid at either end of the table and players attempt to toss or bounce ping pong balls into the cups which are filled with alcohol. When you make a shot into a cup of the opposing team, a player from the opposing team drinks the contents and removes it from the table. The game continues with both players from one team taking a shot, followed by both players from the other team. The team able to clear all of the opposing cups first is the winner, with the losing team splitting the contents of the winning team's remaining cups!" Phew!

After a game on a golfing arcade game, we grab some pitchers of beer and play some table football (soccer!) and watch as the bar gets louder and louder with drunken college students! Like a Kinder Surprise (horrible chocolate, nasty little toy) we get a double whammy of disillusionment as me and Jaime get nicely drunk and we feel it's time to head back as tomorrow was THE national holiday.

Yep, by Friday it was the nation's Independence Day - with my red coat presence being a particular bone of contention - I prepare myself for a barrage of "We've got your country now" nonsense but couldn't have been further from the truth. A beautiful sunny day began with getting rid of the hangovers with a trip to Jaime's folks and some swimming in their pool. As I get some sun I hear a buzzing near my ear. What was that? I look around just in time to see the largest wasp I've ever seen dunk itself in the pool, fly near my inner tube, buzz me one more time then fly away! After the bat incident last time I couldn't believe it and Jaime explained that this too is a regular occurrence! Damn nature!

After this we refresh back home and head to Jacksonville beach to go to Jaime's older sister's house who were throwing a party. As we arrive, huge American trucks and cars were outside and I suddenly felt like I was in King of the Hill as we were offered a cooler/fridge full of beer (see pics) and we sat at the side of the road drinking them before the BBQ started and we tucked into some burgers, sausages, potato salad and more awaiting the fireworks that were due around 9.30pm. Dana was downing drinks like no tomorrow and at 20 wasn't legally allowed to do so but as the countdown soon came around, Ashley turned up after having to work at a place called Firehouse Subs (like Subway) and we headed to the beach after the show where there were many bars and we split into two groups as Dana (not 21) couldn't get in. So we have a few drinks in an Irish pub - how typically tourist-y - and I get to see my first proper pint glass since leaving the UK! Meeting up back at the house, Dana crashes off the front porch and spends the next day nursing her sore body and throbbing head - lightweight!

Well, I have just a few more weeks here in Florida but have Jessica AND Jaime's birthday coming up and saw a great gig on Sat night which I'll tell more about next time I write. Hope all is well and keep on rocking.

 With my last night in UK down in Kent I said goodbye to my family and begun sorting my final preparations for the trip ahead. Passport and ticket. Passport and ticket - just don't forget those two things I said in a mantra to myself as I fell asleep. Before I know it, the annoyance of my phone alarm was ringing in my ears at the un-Godly hour of 6.30am and my dad shouted through the door to make sure I hadn't immediately passed back out. Crawling out of my cave like a scarred troll I got ready, had some breakfast and my dad and I started our journey to Gatwick. We chatted about music - he used to be in a band in the 60s - and after just over an hour we were there! Damn, I thought as we guessed there may be traffic but the roads were clear and my flight wasn't due to leave until 11.15am.

I got out the car at the drop-off point (don't park in the red/white zone Airplane! fans) and got through customs and check-in in no time. Before I knew it, my time wandering around duty free was up (trying to get some free aftershave samples was fun) and then headed to the departure gate. As I got towards the plane I realised that  I may have been at the wrong gate as there were two planes heading towards Orlando both run by Virgin Atlantic. I thought I would check my boarding pass to see exactly only to discover that the name on the card was wrong. Not mis-spelt - REALLY wrong. Mr. Miguel Costas in fact! Oh shit. Panic stepped in and I quickly think back to baggage check-in and comprehend I never did check the boarding card. It said DEPARTURE: Gatwick. ARRIVAL: Las Vegas. What the fuck??? So I head to the nearest trolley dolly to ask for help. Thankfully, my fears subsided as they say everything is still okay and I breathe a sigh of relief and hope Mr. Costas didn't have the same problem!!!

The flight is 9 and a half hours and after a taking my seat I can only hope of a good person to sit next to me but instead I get an Irish family and think this flight may turn into that Father Ted episode. Luckily, their 4 (!) kids are well behaved and pass out pretty quickly. After watching my new favourite TV programme Peep Show and the frankly awful Semi-Pro movie with Will Ferrell, I listen to some mp3s on my phone and then read Dan Brown's Digital Fortress to pass a few more hours.

Finally after a delay in take off and my pillow smelling of farts, the pilot informs us that we're coming into land and the plane touches down 3pm USA time. After a few questions from the overzealous customs officials at Orlando International, I sail through  their checks with relative ease before waiting at the carousel  for what seems like a lifetime to pick up my back pack. It got classed as over-sized luggage so must have put it on first as it was nearly last to come out!

There did seem to be a distinct lack of checks compared to previous times I have visited the States but wasn't complaining as I jumped on the monorail feeling the humid Florida air for the first time and went to the terminal to meet Jaime. Sitting on a bench I saw her as I came though into the building and we had a big hug and then said hello to her friend Crystal who I had met the previous time I visited last year.

Starting to feel a bit weary we go to find their car but end up in the wrong car park and after 45 minutes of what can only be described as "trekking" did we get to Jaime's big saloon car and begin to drive up state to Jacksonville. Like previous visits, it looked like I brought the weather with me as the blue skies made way for some thunder clouds and lightning struck the ground at the horizon. After taking a detour toward Cape Canaveral, a few hours have now passed and I see a road sign for Jacksonville. My tired body and mind gets a kick when I see the distance:


124 miles.

Gonna be a long one.

As the sleep deprivation kicked in, we stopped at Subway - typical - and I barely order a foot long meatball sandwich in my broken bumbling English which Jaime compares to actor Hugh Grant - thanks hun!

Finally we get back to the house where Jaime's dogs and her cat go mad at the stranger in their home but soon calm down and by 10pm (their time) and being awake for 20+ hours my head eventually hit's the pillow and it's milliseconds before I'm fast asleep.

Awaking the next day, I head to Jaime's work and say hello to the strangely familiar faces of her co-workers and family. After grabbing another calorie filled meal of breakfast, I head to the mall where Jaime's salon is situated to do some shopping and I grab a new pair of shoes as my other ones have all but fallen apart.

Heading to a nearby bookstore I spy the ridiculously long Christian Improvement section before wandering to the DVD and music section for a free listen to some albums before leaving the store. However, on my way out I did catch one of those "…for dummies" books. The title of this particular masterpiece? "Islam for dummies".

Chuckling to myself I head to the Montana Grill - another place I had been to before to complete my eerie sense of déjà vu - for a drink and some food then meet Jaime.

The rest of the evening was more food and pretty chilled whilst the next day I went to her second job which is a salon near the beach! After leaving the store and walking up the road I thought to myself I will only go as far as the next set of stop lights. 30 minutes later I still couldn't see any and the road was slowly becoming a proper freeway! Jaywalking across to the other side before any Sheriffs showed I then went to the beach to grab some sun and have a paddle in the Atlantic. Although somewhat cloudy the humidity was like being cooked in a steam pot and had to grab a drink of Strawberry and Lemonade PowerAde to replace my lost fluids.

Showing off my proud English sunburn as I returned we had lunch at a place called Angie's - very local but very good - had a Peruvian sandwich and after that went to Lynch's Irish bar for a drink with Jessica and her mate Adam who was visiting from Tampa. After some drinks we then went to the swimming pool in her apartment complex and then back to meet Jaime. Jaime still had work so off I went again with Matty to Chili's restaurant for dinner before back to his place and his Jake Gyllenhall-lookalike flat mate who was playing Rock Band on Playstation.

After a beer here and a good chat about music and psycho-exes (!) me and Matty headed to Jaime's parents house where I went swimming again around 10pm. Although great fun, the sound of the wilderness was almost deafening as crickets, birds and lord knows what else was chirping, tweeting and making sounds in the dark forest behind the house. Just as I got to used to this Jaime warned of bats. I laughed at her for a moment only to be confronted with a kamikaze bat, dive-bombing me along the surface of the water straight towards my face!

Okay, I said. Bat attacks it is then.

After saying goodbye it was the end of only my second day in the USA and am looking forward to seeing Modest Mouse play at St. Augustine Amphitheatre tonight which should be a great show.

I'm off to burn my chest as much as my back now so it evens out and second part will be written soon.

Mike

Following on from the debut album 'Blondes Make The Best Victims' comes the new 5 track EP 'Ton of Bricks' from four piece Leicester based rockers The Authentics. Starting with the self titled track 'Ton of Bricks' the opening riff is contagious, grabbing your ultimate attention before your even a minute in. Certainly a good start; having played over 200 UK gigs alone it is no wonder that The Authentics are going from strength to strength and with this release already casting a shadow on their extremely successful debut album, you have to start to wonder what these blokes will pull out the bag next.

With strong punk influences this 5 track EP is by no means anything but amazing, with tracks like 'A Song For You' and 'Belly of the Beast' this is guaranteed to get your heads nodding whilst the catchy riffs will embed themselves in your memory, ensuring this band will stand out on the music scene for all the right reasons. 'The Witching Hour' is one of the strongest tracks on the EP as a whole, showcasing amazing guitar solo's that literally cause your jaw to drop in amazement that someone can have that much talent, with 'The Witching Hour' being the last track they definitely saved the best for last.

Musically this album proves that The Authentics are just going to keep getting better and better, however, the cover is nowhere near as enticing or hard hitting as debut 'Blondes Make The Best Victims', but not all great books have great covers and that principle certainly applies here.

by Stacey Hull

Full review at Glitzine here: http://www.glitzine.net/recensioner/theauthentics3.htm

Apologies for the length, for my name is Long Rod von Hugendong...

 

It started back when a couple of fellas met in the front room of a house in Leicester's West End and fast forward a few years, we are in a similar front room in the same area of town as me and Jon discuss a summer break from the band – we sadly agree the musical train has pulled up at the station and as the travelling carnival that is The Authentics, we all require a well-earned and much needed break to re-fuel.

 

Me and Jon began writing and jamming together back in Wurlitzer in 2002 and through drunken shenanigans and upheavals, picked up Gray and Dave on the way to becoming The Authentics – the band from Leicester that has been rocking ever since.

 

Why take a break now you ask? Well, we've poured our heart and souls into the band (also our blood, sweat, sick, piss, feet, groins and more) as 4 British guys who loved to play and write music on our own terms, secretly hoping and waiting for that elusive record deal but with the machinations in place, slowly driving our young minds mad with the frustrations of the whole process.

 

From our beer-soaked punch-ups and love-ins on tour and the late nights and early morning haziness of the post-gig fever, the band's roller coaster of balancing our personal highs with work lows as well as numerous social commitments meant that many things were sacrificed along the way including brain cells, my camera, our sanity and much loved friends. Who said being a band is easy? Cos it's anything but. We thank those who wanted songs written for them and the lucky ones who got them (whether they know or not).

 

But it's the memories that will linger longer than anything - smokey bars (before the ban), smelly festival induced sets and piling as much equipment as possible into the poor sod's car who has agreed to drive us that night – often unlucky Phil – the unsung fifth member of the band. Sadly, our time drenched in perspiration has meant the routine has taken its toll and like many bands in tons of cities across the UK, the time we spent together helped us escape from the daily grind but which unfortunately then became the burden itself. So many names and faces, the blur of the tour with only a facebook photo or drunken text of what went on to remind us.

 

From the constant questions of eager but sometimes misinformed friends, "When's the album coming out/Have you played The Shed?" to the dimly lit squalid venues which could be packed to the rafters or oppositely echoing with the hushed voices of three to four people or even less, it's these extreme high and low anecdotes we remember the most from when we had the greatest times as rock n roll heroes to our lowest ebb as unknown zeroes.

 

Always enjoying our trips around the UK, especially to sunny Brighton, loading up on caffeine, full of fry-ups and other stimulants it's with much sadness we have to put a hold on our current engagements and take a vacation in the arms of privacy as we rest from the band toil.

 

So we leave you this summer with our musical memories, especially those few who have been there from the beginning and those who we put our trust in and with our first break in 5 years I feel more excited about the band than ever with new possibilities and an increased hunger for music when we rediscover that elusive magic when the pen hits the paper or a guitar riff is conjured up from thin air.

 

What does the future hold for us? A resurrection? A new direction? We don't know. All we do know is that we've loved it up until now and will always do so and hope you do too.

 

Stay true. Play loud. Work hard. And most of all; enjoy it while you can.

 

Peace, thanks and love.

 

The Authentics.

After the last ever Authentics gig at DMU back in October and then the last ever Authentics gig at The Charlotte in February and then The Park gig in April, we got asked to play one more show by the nice people of the Glastonbudget Festival and as everyone was free and The Park gig being a difficult Thursday night, we decided to do another show at a proper festival to begin our summer break.

 

 

I use "proper" in the loosest sense of the word as we practised hard the week before at our new favourite practice rooms RPM, and then had a few days of light rest before getting up early on Saturday morning ready to for the big day. With emails flying around the preceding weeks asking us to confirm numbers and stage setup, we managed to get everything in order and jumped in the cars and headed towards the sleepy village of Wymeswold who once a year hold host to Europe's biggest tribute band festival.

 

 

Our regular roadie Phil was pleased to see our new mate Steve bring along an estate car which eased the pain on his poor Seat's suspension and after introducing him to the band, Dave and myself jumped into the car and (after a quick stop off at McDonald's, which resulted in Steve chatting up the girl behind the counter) we drove out of the city with Steve driving with his knees at times as he scoffed down his Happy Meal!

 

 

After leaving the A46 at too early a junction and heading into the village centre we ask a displeased looking man directions – even though he sounded like he was a bully Barnsley gent –yet he kindly helped us and continuing our quest we first drove to the wrong car parking entrance then back along the road to the artists entrance behind the main stage. Parking up, we cracked open a couple of Foster tinnies, having stocked up fully at Bargain Booze before the trip hade even started and headed over to receive our wristbands. After the email fiasco, we are surprised to find a group of teens asking us how many guest passes we want and they begin handing them out as if they were Buddhist good luck charms. Luckily then, both Steve and Phil as well as Jon's girlfriend Katharine get their free passes and I wonder what the point of forwarding the names on was (and worry about the security at the same time).

 

 

Moving the car down to the "Charny Army" marquee stage where would be opening the day at 1.30pm (it was around half twelve when we arrived), Steve did a few doughnut-style manoeuvres in the grassy car park with a open beer in his hand and we convince the security guy with manboobs to let us unload the heavy amps and band equipment as near as possible. As we enter the large white tent we get the first shock of the day as the stage manager (another teen in control of lots of other inexperienced teens) informs us that there is no power yet and they are unsure when they are going to have it on. "Typical", we thought as we look around and ask about a PA as it is suspiciously absent. Apparently they don't have that either! All they do have is a drum shell and we find 5 minutes later there is no stool for that!

 

 

 

Moaning about our luck – no change for us there – we take a slow wander around the festival site and discuss what we can do to kill some time.

Wisely, we brought a box full of CDs and some stickers and decided to hand them out as flyers making some good friends on the way but having to apologise for the lack of action going on in our tent and secretly hoping that people would come back once the sound check was out the way – which turned out to be some hours away.

 

 

As we felt lady luck disappear for us, we had to feel sorry for the bands that had actually gone through a competition at local venue The Shed to play on the main unsigned stage. The reason being was that the wind across the field was at such a strength the organisers had had to shut it down on health and safety grounds. Watching as the sides of the stage billowed out like Hurricane Katrina was hitting it with her full force, we could straight away see why, as any artist would have needed a selection of safety ropes and crampons to stay on the stage and not been blown off to Norway!

After, the group of us then headed to the other marquee and we realised that a lot of the stages had already been swapped around with the acoustic stage being the one that had to be cancelled to make way for the others shifting down the bill.

 

 

We watch a kids band rock their huge school following with a cover of the Arctic Monkeys as soundmen Ollie and Kurt fiddle with their mixing desk before Kurt is seconded over to our marquee stage as the place begins to take shape as some kind of actual performance area. An hour goes by and we run into the ladies of Pink Strip in some hot leather corsets and mini-skirts who inform us that this is also their last gig for a while. Sympathising with them we then speak to Fall of Jupiter who are the band .. us and they seem to agree with our sentiments that it could have been run "better".

 

 

As the alcohol flowed, we cared less about the stage as we had set our equipment up and knew that we would be first on no matter what occurred. We caught a dreadful Beatles tribute band (I don't recall Paul McCartney being a 6' 4" bald man) before we headed back for a sound check around three o' clock. Plugging everything in, they eventually have to use the monitors as speakers and as half three rolled around and with a decent crowd building up - our CD flyers working a treat - we start the set and finally the day can begin – albeit 2 hours late. We rock through the first 4 songs and the crowd, now hearing music from the tent for the first time ever, begin to come in and we have build a large crowd of rockers from all ages from the front to back enjoying the silky guitars licks of our fan favourite "Back Down to Earth".

 

 

Ending on a "Ton of Bricks"-"Popstar/Rockstar" medley we feel we started the day well and our thoughts were confirmed when we get rid of 75 CDs and a group of dancer girls nearby want us to sign them and then take photos of us with each of them! Ha ha! The organiser thanks us for our patience and says it was well worth it and we thank him for having us and wish the crowd and the bands the best of luck with the rest of the day – they'll need it.

 

 

As the next act take the stage, Fall of Jupiter's bassist has a crisis with his instrument and I lend him mine, knowing that this stage can't get any further behind in it's schedule before I catch their set and then head outside to the sun. Soaking up the festival atmosphere I run into an old friend called Emilie of the Rugged Sound System – a funky 8 piece from Loughborough - and we chat about the day so far over some beer and chips.

 

 

We meet plenty of crazy people after and once realising that we didn't pack a tent we get offered a place with a group of ladies who are in the brass section of one of the Motown bands on the main stage the next day. Our good friend Sam also informs us that she had brought a spare tent that we could have – bonus. Steve, our driver, had already decided to sleep in his car if it rained. Luckily for us though, the afternoon's weather stayed dry and we headed to the real ale tent to grab a drink after finishing all of ours in a measly couple of hours.

 

 

We catch both SKAM and Pink Strip's set as well as a howler of a band who's name we didn't catch (or want to) in the re-arranged acoustic tent before heading to the main beer tent to (unfortunately) meet a random guy trying to convince me Oasis are the best band ever. After informing him that I didn't mind the first album and that I saw them live at Knebworth, he proceeded to tell me that I was wrong and that they are bigger than The Beatles. A few more minutes of incoherent ramblings left me with the feeling that he actually thought the tribute band Oasish who had just started WERE Oasis and he waddled off like a drunken Gallagher in search of his sing along anthems.

 

 

As the beer got warm and our bodies colder as the night drew in, me, Dave and Gray decided to blag a lift back to the city centre as we were drunk and probably couldn't put up a tent anyways. Phil, Jon and Katharine had already gone and we had lost Steve so had one final chat to some strangers and a bouncer who was head of security and said that his regular shows included staffing Elton John's birthday party as well as recent tours by The Police and next week's Wembley Foo Fighters gig. Lucky bugger!

 

 

So we get back to Leicester then head for a quick freshen up before heading into the city centre and at 10pm we realise we're into double-digit drinking hours and we have a vodka and redbull to perk ourselves up. Once these were downed we agreed to go to Retribution's new night at the O4 venue. Note to self – don't go again – the venue is too clean to hold a full-on metal and punk night but we have a good time with more drinks and dancing. Running into Becci Firebrand and Stevie McHaggis before long, I look around at 2am and realise Gray has disappeared. In my drunken state I feel as if he's been gone three-quarters of an hour (in reality it's more like 5 minutes, perhaps even 2) so decided that a slow and stumbly walk back to the West End where I live is in order.

 

 

Halfway home I receive a text from Gray asking where I am and explain that I left because he had left too. He sadly informed me he had only gone to the bathroom and left me for 30 seconds but I was too drunk to care and the only thing I needed was a glass of water and a slice of toast. Obviously, I chose neither so grabbed a spicy pizza from Narborough Road and somehow got my key in the door whilst trying to not wake my house or the neighbours up and basked into a Bank Holiday drunken festival sleep.

 

 

Thanks all for a brilliant weekend

 

 

Mike

http://www.the-mag.me.uk/Articles/The-Authentics-Ton-Of-Bricks-EP/

"The Authentics have a reputation for cock-rock with a punky edge and they’ve captured the energy of that image in their new EP, Ton Of Bricks.

By the time you reach the corking third track, ’A Song For You’, it’s clear that these chaps are anything but a bunch of dodgy retro-rockers paying tribute to the early ninties. This is all the best bits of rock and punk with a modern twist and it’s The Authentics best record to date.

’Lost Night’ squeals and skas with an excellent squish of lyrics. ’The Witching Hour’ is an anticipation of the never-likely-to-be-made third Bill and Ted film with lots of harmonic guitars and a riffy verse.

Every track hits the spot and the stomping title track sits at the head of it all, leading the invasion. This is a great record from the well-established rockers."

8 out of 10

Written By: Saur

 

 

NEW VIDEO

The band’s new video for their song "Belly of the Beast" which was launched a few weeks back is online now through their Myspace page and can be seen in its entirety here: www.myspace.com/theauthenticsuk..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

Or direct on YOUTUBE here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqb3uieeWKs

 

XFM

The band have a new page at XFM and are asking fans and friends to vote for them to get the new CD played on their regular unsigned show. Please take 30 seconds from your day to vote for the band here: http://www.xfmuploaded.co.uk/theauthentics/Default.aspx

 

NEW TRANSIT PROMOTION GIG DATES

The band have been asked to play two NEW gig dates in April in association with Transit Promotions. All current tour dates are:

 

• 24 APRIL Thursday – The Donkey, Leicester http://www.transit.uk.net
• 25 APRIL Friday – The Sunflower Lounge, Birmingham http://www.transit.uk.net
• 1 MAY Thursday – Firebug, Leicester (acoustic)

Facebook page for Leicester gig: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=10099886777

 

FREE ACOUSTIC TRACKS

Special acoustic demo recordings of the band’s songs "Back Down to Earth" and "Supercharged" can be freely downloaded here for the whole of April as a one time offer – so please feel free to go & grab them peeps!

Back Down to Earth:   http://pineapster.com/media/back_down_to_earth_acoustic

Supercharged:            http://pineapster.com/media/supercharged_acoustic

 

RADIO & HOT LINKS

 

• The new CD has been playlisted here www.raidersbroadcast.com

• The Authentics were Artist of the Month here - http://www.leicestermusicscene.co.uk/

Anyways, with the tension mounting and the pressure racked up, I was just to about the break news to Jon and everyone when glistening like Arthur’s Sword in the Stone the remote control stared at me from the bar top and using the power of AWESOME I rushed back to press play and suddenly the crowd erupted.

 

It was a great idea from Dave and it was nice to see him in good health and also thank everyone who had supported the band from our early practices at Stayfree to last summer’s festivals and the packed shows around the Midlands and final Down South Tour of September 2007.

 

After this brief but poignant moment the main show came and I switched discs for the second time and put on the "Belly of the Beast" video. The crowd were in great spirits as the video kicked in and it was a bit surprising, especially as Gray and Jon had never actually seen it having received it at such short notice just a few hours before. A few people complained about the quality of the screen but I think it’s because they had been looking at too many Internet fannies! *send calmings*

 

The crowd were responsive as they cheered every time they saw one of themselves in the video and by the time the credits rolled a huge round of applause echoed around the pub and we breathed a much needed sigh of relief as a the second big job of the year (after Dave’s comeback show) had gone down not only well, but much better than expected.

 

It was now that we could fully relax with the bar manager from Polar Bear saying the pub hadn’t been this busy in months and that the bar takings were on target to be awesome. It was great to see so many friends show up again and we felt for Dave who couldn’t be here but we raised a toast knowing that without his video it wouldn’t have felt like a proper Authentic show anyway.

 

Before the crowd dispersed though I had to rush out from behind the bar to present Tommy with the honorary Oscar we had bought in town as a massive thank you for helping us out with editing and directing this video, but also not forgetting Phil who also got an Oscar for kindly filming all the footage which came from our 50+ live shows during 2007.

 

Both were gratefully received and then I headed around the pub with an empty beer glass full of raffle tickets. Our friends were asking how much they were but we gave 60 tickets away for free with the prizes being a copy of the new CD, a bottle of wine or the spare Oscar and before we knew it, the glass was soon empty. Schmoozing around the pub we thanked everyone for coming and, as always, there was never enough time to see everyone for as long as you like and as we spoke to JJ from Five Ash Down it was quickly off to welcome Steve and Adele then the boys from SKAM and it continued like this for the rest of the evening.

 

Dashing from one table party to the next, Jon busied himself with using the Polaroid camera to take photos of those that came then sticking the pics in the scrapbook and allowing fans to comment on the night whilst I had to devise up a plan on how to choose the raffle winners. With a blitz of inspiration (or desperation!) I realised we had an unused A4 sheet with all the numbers on so why not throw a random dart at it and decide the winner by that means. However, there were no darts in the pub and quickly spying the condiment bucket, I grabbed a squeezy bottle of mustard and me, Dave Toothpaste and Keenan headed outside.

 

Explaining my plan to some confused yet drunk faces, I told them that we should shoot the sauce from a distance and let Mother Nature decide where the spurts ended up. Although not the greatest idea (although in my drunken state I thought it was) and getting no better suggestions from my drunken mates, we forged ahead and placed the sheet on the outside floor and prepared for some mess. Up stepped Dave Toothpaste who used his name to good effect as he took an almighty squeeze and shot a good load of creamy yellow juice all over the board – jeesh this is getting sick!

 

Anyways, we decided there and then that whichever number had the most "ejaculate" over it, that was the winner and the bigger the glob then the better the prize. After Keenan and me did the second and third place winners we headed back inside to try and find who had the numbers we had "chosen".

 

Hunting through the pub, a look of confusion swept over most people’s faces as we stuck a mustard smelling piece of paper under their nose and asked "is this YOUR number?"

 

Soo was the first (un)lucky champion as she took home the Oscar whilst the wine went to a table of strangers we had met that night, before another stranger actually claimed to have eaten her number 22 ticket which was the final winner! Not receiving any complaints or further claims, we handed the raffle prize of our CD over to the hungry pub patron.

 

As the night wound down, the alcohol continued to flow and we started to pack up some stuff as mates continued to take photos on the instamatic and also buy copies of the new CD as well as a few t-shirts! As people started to make there way to Mosh or Fan Club around midnight, big Jay came over and planted a ridiculously large kiss on my smacker and thanked me and the guys for such a great night - sadly to say the rest of the evening was just a haze – ha ha!

 

Emma and Kate left with a CD for Dave as she was due to visit him in Switzerland the following week and we left Matt and Stu taking comedic footballer’s handshakes photographs on their mobiles. What idiots! Ha ha

We awoke the next day to tremendous hangovers leaving us with a headache, stomach ache and a vague sense of shame and pride in equal amounts!

 

Massive thanks to all that came and tell peeps about the CD and video when they’re online this month.

 

Mike, Jon, Gray and Dave (via videolink)

The Authentics