Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 27
Sign: Pisces
City: ORLANDO
State: Florida
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/6/2006
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Saturday, May 16, 2009
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Category: Writing and Poetry
I never carved your name in stone Or chipped initials in the bark Of oaks to show the world I care I prove my love by being there When tears of sadness fill your eyes When others cast harsh words like stones That sting and cut though they're untrue I'm there to catch those stones for you
When people turn their backs and hide When deaf ears meet your cries for help For someone who can understand I'm there to lend a helping hand
When all the world becomes too much When everything is going wrong And darkness spirals down to night I'm there to guide you back to light
I never carved your name in stone Or chipped initials in the bark But if you took my chest apart Your name is there I cross my heart
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Saturday, May 16, 2009
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I'm a mystery. Solve me. Here's a key; Unlock me and find out. I'm a tragedy. Heal me. Here's a band-aid; Kiss me and make it better. I'm a lunatic. Tie me up. Here's a straight jacket; Make me tight and immobile. I'm an optimist. Give me hope. Here's a daffodil; Help me be happy. I'm always a puzzle. You can never put me together. Here's the missing link, but You can never fit it in.
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Friday, January 23, 2009
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Charles Sykes is the author of DUMBING DOWN OUR KIDS. The following is
a list he created for high school and college graduates of things he
did not learn in school. In his book, he talks about how the "system"
may have created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and
set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair; get used to it.
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about
yourself.
Rule 3: You will not make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until
you "earn" both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger-flipping; they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you screw up, it's not your parents' fault so don't
whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they
are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning your room, and
listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. So before you save
the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents'
generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life
has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, they'll
give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of
course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off,
and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do
that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is not real life. In real life people actually have
to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
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Friday, January 23, 2009
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Category: Life
............
Sometimes, we spend a lot of time lamenting over how unfair life is and how
we got the short end of the stick. We can be stuck in this unproductive
conversation for days, weeks, months and even years. Sometimes, we are so
bothered by unfairness that we start to complain to others about the short end
of the stick and what is has done to us. We start a swirling cyclone of angst
and suck others into our vortex. Unfortunately, many times others have their
own vortex, so combined; it creates the mother of all vortexes. The sucking
sound is deafening and the illusion is created that we are stuck in this very
bad place.....
I can understand how we can come to this. However, I am here to tell you
that it is a spirit crusher and a total waste of your precious time. There is
no universal or spiritual law that supports fairness. Life is bumpy,
interesting, ugly, challenging, exciting and fabulous. There is no room for
fairness. Fairness would mean that everything would be the same with no
deviations or differences. What would be the fun in that? If you want to truly
live, move pass the pursuit of fairness and opt for the pursuit of fabulous.....
Fabulous means that you take a bumpy and imperfect ride, but it can be
scenic. Every experience is data you need to make new choices, some big and
some small, which take you down different paths, roads and canyons. You meet
folks along the way that are contributors, supporters, detractors and
extractors. Some add to your life in fantastic ways; some are emotional drains
and some try to take you down attempting to erase your hopes and your dreams.
It can be raggedy at times, but you can always ask yourself what you have
learned, file it and keep moving. You will be stronger.....
If you are not quite there yet, lament over unfairness, but make it very
short lived and then leave it behind you. Do not rob yourself of a life lesson
that could make you stronger and more resilient. Maybe you are being prepared
for a greater and more magnificent opportunity that requires more fortitude
than you currently possess. Maybe the imperfect ride opens your eyes, shakes
you up and hands you the last straw you needed to move on. Fed up can be
motivating.....
I remember a point in my life where I truly understood how toxic the pursuit
of fairness could be. It became a lunchtime pastime for a group of colleagues I
lunched with every day. I always knew expecting fairness was toxic, but I
witnessed it in its purest form where it was almost liquid and had the
potential to stick to my spirit.....
I was at lunch with a group of work friends and we were sharing one story
after another about how miserable we were. We were overlooked, our fantastic
skills were not utilized and we were doing more work than anyone else was. It
was not fair, but we were looking for it. This went on and on and I realized
this was not something we just did this one time; it had become a daily
lunchtime pastime. This was a very talented group of people and everyone did
work hard. The problem was looking for fairness got in the way of pursuing or
creating new opportunities. Our energy focused on something that would never
serve us.....
When I looked at the faces that went along with the ‘fair talk, they were
furrowed and stressed. It wasn’t pretty. We were prematurely aging ourselves
with this talk and it was going nowhere. You try it. Say fairness and try not
to frown. It cannot be done. Now say, fabulous. Much better, isn’t it.....
No one seemed to realize that there was enough data to make the choice to
leave their miserable jobs behind. We were so engrossed in the ‘unfairness’ of
it all, that we were in some sort of paralysis and stopped talking about
opportunities, growth, passion and dreams. We were in the vortex. But, that
day, I saw the insidious ‘fairness’ monster for what it was and had enough. I
slowly got up from the table and declared that I was done spending my lunchtime
in the toxic fairness vortex. I declared that I would not be in the same
position three months from then. I broke the fairness vortex and was ready to
move on in pursuit of fabulous. I had a new position within two months.....
The pursuit of fabulous is a far better way to spend your time. Switching
your mindset from what you are not doing to what you are accomplishing is a
completely different mindset. It changes the talk from ‘not’ to ‘will’. It
changes your outlook from barriers and impediments to opportunities and
challenges. What a relief for your mind, body, spirit and soul.....
The change in attitude will attract others who are
forward thinking like you and want to see you succeed. You will be sitting with
supporters, innovators, the movers, and the shakers. You will repel the detractors,
doubters and Negative-holics. You are done with the vortex. You are done with
looking for fairness and can handle the bumpy ride that life brings. You are
ready to live completely and choppy understanding that there are curves,
missteps, winning and losing. Most of all, you take it all in, the good with
the bad and carry on. When you fall, you brush yourself off and get up again.
Bruised maybe, but that is okay. You are alive and ready to live luscious,
jazzed and open wide. Fabulous is far better than fair.
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Thursday, January 01, 2009
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People who cannot candidly represent themselves in the outside world, are not necessarily false, nor are they liars. We humans, are like diamonds, so prismatic and intricate. When a gem cutter cuts a diamond he looks at the "Big Picture" and the four C's (Caret, Clarity, Color, Cut) of ascertaining a vale to be put on the finished Product.
Lets look at these four categories:
Caret – Measures the weight of your life…The good, the bad. Its what you have done with your life that gives it weight…or value.
Clarity – When someone views your life…very intimately, do they truly see the real YOU 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Do you try to be honest, or do you try to be perfect?
Color – no, I'm not getting into a racist thing…. when I am talking about color, I am talking about personality, intelligence, and the "you" that people don't see. The person who acts unintelligent might just be someone who is actually more intelligent that you think.
Cut – The cut of the diamond, is not unlike the living of your life, the decisions you make, the mistakes you make, all in the end make up what kind of cut, you will become.
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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
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Glistening bodies entwined in an ageless erotic dance, seeking pleasures from each other, seeking wonder and romance. She touches his face with tenderness. He draws her body near. Aching, needing hunger will make their destiny clear. Their lips meet in soft kisses, their tongues begin passion's war. Forgotten now, the outside world. All is here, behind this door. He strokes her body tenderly, she arches up for his caress. He finds her silken portal and her womanly wetness. She moans in fiery desire and pulls his hand away, wishing to end this exquisite torture and get on with passion's play. She straddles his waiting body, eases him into her feminine hollow. She leads him on a rhythmic dance, his thrusting hips must follow. She rides him faster, even then, to hear his wondrous sighs. She shows him all the delights she has between her womanly thighs. They stare into each other's eyes and gasp as ecstasy unreels, and tangles them in a lover's knot that every answer reveals. Sated, they lie side by side, spent but hungering still. She touches him where their passion came and tastes their lovers spill. Their mouths meet in passionate need, hungry animals once more. This time he rises above her, her body to explore. Their ballet begins again, as he thrusts his manhood in, vowing not to end the dance unless her cries he'll win. Like beasts of old they become, riding with desire, only resting their throbbing bodies when sated by their fire.
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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
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Preface note:
After all the shitty relationships I have been in, and all the "friends with benefits" bullshit I have had to put up with...It has taken me awhile to get comfortable enough with my boyfriend for me to finally start writing poetry...that pertains to him....
I want to be your companion and walk hand in hand, your strength enveloping me. Autumn leaves falling, scuffing feet and laughter, sharing nights, not finished by the dark. I want to be your confidant as you pen your deepest thoughts, as your heartaches bleed and finally break free. Your dreams, I keep as if my own. I want to smile as you smile and giggle with you at nothing at all. I want to be your lover and find the passions that move you to action. I want to be the softness that induces you to trust. I want to be the naughty that makes you come back for more. I want to please you. I want to share your breakfast and your dinner, I want you in the shower and in your bed and with soft steps to bring you coffee (I take mine black) Your strong arms, the legs that power your thrust, your lips of pleasure, these are the fuel of my desire no it is no secret, my love, and to put it very simply, I want you.
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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
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Current mood:  sympathetic
..tr>
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| BRECHEEN, CASEY WILLIAM, 20, Clermont died November 24, 2008. He was born September 5, 1988, in Clermont, son of Glen David Brecheen & Eva Van Anden and was a lifelong resident. A former Pathfinder's member, he currently was a member of Orlando Jeep Club and was active in Relay for Life. His mother, Eva Brecheen preceded him in death in 2001. Surviving is his father, Glen Brecheen of Montverde; siblings, Ian (Britta Amber Maas) Brecheen of Ankorage, AK; Drew (Jessica Lauver- Lawrence) Brecheen; Angus Brecheen & Erin Brecheen all of Montverde; niece, Loralie Anorah Brecheen & half-sister, Andrea Johnson, Tallahassee. The world was a better place due to the unfailing generosity of Casey's heart. The funeral service for Casey Brecheen will be held at 5PM on Sunday, November 30, 2008, in the Becker Chapel with visitation from 3PM until service time. The family suggests that in lieu of flowers memorials be directed to Relay for Life. BECKER. FAMILY FUNERAL HOME, 806 W. Minneola Ave., Clermont, FL 34711. Telephone 352-394- 7121.
I have known this family since Casey was about 8 or 9. When Casey turned about 13 He would call me religiously every night because he was an insomniac, as am I. We would talk about some of the most pointless stuff, but sometimes, even in the weirdness of the "Casey Brecheen" mind, he always had very deep insight, beyond any teenage boy that I have ever known, into religion, philosophy, and other subjects. Casey was someone who listened and he became a very good friend in that time. He was playful, unique, and sometime downright goofy, but I loved him like he was my own little brother.
Unfortunatly, about 4 years ago, I lost contact with him, and his whole family. I did recently a few months back get back in touch with his sister and some of the other people I knew from Woodlands Lutheran Church..and the former Woodlands Camp.
If any of you from Montverde see this post know that this girl morns with you. I know in my heart that Casey has found peace. I hold you all in my prayers, and I am sorry that I didn't find out sooner...
Rest In Peace Casey...You will always hold a special place in my heart.
| ..table>
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
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I just had a gynocologist appointment on friday and so I read the research on this syndrome that I was just diagnosed with. It is alot more involved that I thought it would be. But at least now I have answers and am on the right path to getting treated, so that my health will be better down the road.What is PCOS? In each menstrual cycle, follicles grow on the ovaries. Eggs develop within those follicles, one of which will reach maturity faster than the others and be released into the fallopian tubes. This is "ovulation". The remaining follicles will degenerate. In the case of polycystic ovaries, however, the ovaries are larger than normal, and there are a series of undeveloped follicles that appear in clumps, somewhat like a bunch of grapes. Polycystic ovaries are not especially troublesome and may not even affect your fertility. However, when the cysts cause a hormonal imbalance, a pattern of symptoms may develop. This pattern of symptoms is called a syndrome. These symptoms are the difference between suffering from polycystic ovary syndrome and from polycystic ovaries. So you can have polycystic ovaries without having PCOS. However, nearly all women with PCOS will have polycystic ovaries. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is the name given to a metabolic condition in which a woman will have polycystic ovaries, along with a certain pattern of other symptoms that reflect imbalances in reproductive and other hormones. We referred to polycystic ovarian syndrome as a "metabolic" disorder. By this we mean that there are numerous factors in basic body processes that have gone awry. Because your body is a unified whole, a problem or dysfunction in one area causes dysfunction in other areas. Polycystic ovarian syndrome is a dysfunction that is related to your whole body, not just your ovaries. "Polycystic ovary syndrome" is the name given to a metabolic condition in which a woman will have cystic ovaries, along with a certain pattern of other symptoms that reflect imbalances in reproductive and other hormones.
How Common Is PCOS? Polycystic ovary syndrome is the most common hormonal disorder occurring in women during their reproductive years. It's thought that 4% to 10% of all women have the disorder. However, since many women don't know they have polycystic ovarian syndrome or some aspect of it, the actual number probably exceeds 10%. Polycystic ovarian syndrome is one of the leading causes of infertility. Symptoms frequently start to show up soon after puberty.
What Causes Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome? There is disagreement and uncertainty as to what causes polycystic ovarian disease. Polycystic ovaries and polycystic ovary syndrome have been associated with one or more of these factors: - Genetic predisposition.
- Insulin resistance or hyperinsulinism (high blood levels of insulin).
- Obesity.
- Hyperandrogenism (excessive production of male hormones).
- Abnormality of the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis (organ/hormonal disorder).
PCOS Symptoms Polycystic ovarian syndrome presents a complex and baffling array of symptoms, consisting of some combination of the following symptoms that vary with each individual: - Multiple ovarian cysts
- Irregular or absent menses
- Infertility
- Acne
- Depression or mood swings. Hormonal changes are a known cause of emotional symptoms.
- Obesity or inability to lose weight
- Excessive body or facial hair (hirsutism)
- Insulin resistance and possibly diabetes
- Thinning of scalp hair
- Velvety, hyperpigmented skin folds (acanthosis nigricans)
- High blood pressure
- Polycystic ovaries that are 2-5 times larger than healthy ovaries.
- Multiple hormone imbalances, commonly including:
- Androgens (testosterone)
- Cortisol
- Estrogens
- FSH (follicle stimulating hormone)
- Insulin.
- LH (luteinizing hormone)
- progesterone
- Prolactin.
- Thyroid hormones.
- Environmental chemical pollution (hormonal disruptors)
- Food adulterantion (excitatory amino acids, for example)
- Chronic inflammation.
Treatment of PCOS Many physicians are not very familiar with polycystic ovarian syndrome and therefore only treat the symptom the woman complains about, without digging any deeper. The most common treatment is the prescription of birth control pills. However, discerning physicians will notice the above constellation of symptoms and realize there is complex metabolic disorder labeled as "polycystic ovary syndrome". Depending on the physician, the treatment may include hormonal therapy consisting of birth control pills, anti-androgen medications, and other special hormone-regulating drugs. Because polycystic ovarian syndrome has an insulin resistance component (too much insulin required to store blood sugar), a drug called metformin (Glucophage) is becoming a routine treatment. Approved as an anti-diabetic drug, metformin acts by making insulin more efficient, thus allowing less insulin to perform the same amount of metabolic work. And, some doctors will tell the patient to lose weight. Ovarian drilling has been helpful for some women. It is a process where between 4 and 30 tiny holes are made in a cystic ovary. Newer surgical techniques minimize previous problems of scaring and adhesions, but they remain a risk. Rarely, if the ovarian cysts are large and causing problems, a physician may suggest surgical removal. Conventional treatment is generally aimed at controlling symptoms and shifting levels of the various hormones that are involved in the disease. In some cases, the medical therapy must be continued indefinitely. A problem with conventional treatment is that the medications used for ovarian cysts and polycystic ovary syndrome have undesirable side effects, uncertain long-term health effects, and can be expensive.
PCOS Is a Threat to Your Health, if Left Untreated The long-term health consequences of polycystic ovarian syndrome may include but not be limited to: - Cardiovascular disease.
- Diabetes
- Pregnancy-associated disorders.
- Cancers.
- Seizure disorders.
Cardiovascular disease is well recognized as part of insulin resistance syndrome, leading to endothelial dysfunction, microalbuminuria, proatherosclerotic and inflammatory factors, diabetes, dyslipidemia, and a number of other abnormalities. Insulin resistance normally forces beta-cells in the pancreas to overwork to produce enough insulin, thus eventually leading to beta-cell exhaustion and diabetes. Evidence of inadequate beta-cell compensation is seen frequently in women with PCOS, leading to increased risk of diabetes. 40% of women with polycystic ovary disease have abnormal glucose tolerance, 10% already have type 2 diabetes, and the incidence of diabetes in adolescents with PCOS is comparable to that seen in adults. Women with PCOS have glucose intolerance rates as high as those in the highest risk ethnic groups in the world, such as the Pima Indians. Even correcting for obesity, polycystic ovary syndrome is associated with elevated LDL "bad" cholesterol, while there is a synergistic effect of PCOS and obesity in causing chronic elevated triglycerides. High blood pressure is commonly seen in women with both obesity and polycystic ovarian syndrome. PCOS is associated with decreased fibrinolysis, increased C-reactive protein levels, and increased carotid intimal thickness, all of which indicate cardiovascular disorders. 77% of women with abnormally infrequent or scanty menstrual flow have evidence of polycystic ovarian syndrome and 33% have abnormal glucose tolerance. Using menstrual cycle length of 40 days or more as an indicator, the Nurses' Health Study showed a 2.2-fold increase in the risk of type 2 diabetes development. The study also showed that irregular menses was associated with a 53% increase in cardiovascular disease events. Women with PCOS have reproductive abnormalities, including increased gestational diabetes in both obese and non-obese women, pregnancy-induced hypertension, and preeclampsia. Preeclampsia is a toxic condition developing in late pregnancy that is characterized by a sudden rise in blood pressure, excessive gain in weight, generalized edema, albuminuria, severe headache, and visual disturbances. PCOS women also have an increased endometrial cancer risk. The risk of ovarian cancer is increased 2.5-fold, particularly among women who had never used oral contraceptives. Breast cancer risk is not clearly increased with polycystic ovarian disease.. For those of you who remember when I would go to game or hang out at the Table at VCC, and would pass out suddenly for no reason...this Syndrome is the reason why that was happening
For those of you who over the years, said my weight was based on how much I ate...That is not entirely true, as you see in my research, this syndrome can cause women to store more fat.
And for those of you women out there who also have this syndrome, or at least feel that you might have the symptoms...DO NOT HESITATE TO GO TO YOUR GYNOCOLOGIST AND GET TREATED....It could mean life or death.
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Friday, June 13, 2008
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Category: Life
I had an appointment with my Ob-Gyn, and apparently my suspicions where true. I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) I always knew there was SOMETHING wrong with my body. Ever since I can remember I have always had problems with my weight, and not having regular menstrual cycles.
So for all of those who made fun of me in the past, for my lack of breasts, and general androgynous appearance, and tell me that I eat to much and that I need to go on a diet...FUCK YOU!!! I now have Medical Proof to back up my claim that my weight and appearance is based on hormone imbalance, and possibly more.
I also found out that even if I was to go on the pill there is a very slim chance that I could ever conceive a child. My dream of one day having children, will never come true. I have learned to accept this as a possibility and have moved on with my life.
So for all of you shallow people who only judge others on their physical appearance, You should take a good look at yourself and ask yourselves what it is about you that you don't like, and why you would make fun of someone who's weight and appearance really is based on hormone imbalance, and not just because they "Eat too much."
When I find out more about my health I will let you all know.
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