It's All Going Pete Tong  (channel4.com)

Last night the housemates were told they are to be DJs on Big Brother FM, and the posse had to prepare for their shows by recording individual jingles.

Today, Big Brother FM will be broadcasting continuously for 90 minutes. Each housemate DJ will record a 15-minute podcast - complete with interviews and music - which will be made available exclusively here on the website. .. type=text/javascript> ..>

We want you to download the podcasts later this afternoon and cast your discerning ears over them. Once you've done so, let us know your verdict.

Are the housemate DJs brilliant? Are they awful? Are they so awful, they're genius?! You decide! Voting is free and the results will be announced on the website later today.

If the housemates pass the task, they will receive a luxury shopping budget for their week in the house. Chickpeas or chocolate? You decide...

Pete's Lunar Bloomer

As Aisleyne slaved over a hot stove, the chirpy lad was standing to attention... despite being sat down at the time!

It all started innocently, with Aisleyne asking Pete to do a handstand for her. Uncharacteristically, the lad refused to budge as he sat suspiciously cross-legged on the counter top, hunched forward.

"Are you tired?" asked Aisleyne.

"I'm... 'in trouble'," came the cryptic response.

But the female super sleuth quickly sussed out the situation, suggesting the cold shower treatment. However, Pete insisted his imminent serving of hot milk would do the trick and help his circulation.

What could possibly have caused the burgeoning in the poor man's pants though? Certainly not thoughts of Nikki or any other housemate for that matter, asserted Pete.

"It's a natural thing... full moon, innit?" suggested the Brighton boy instead.

"Has that really got something to do with it?" queried his late-night companion.

"That's what they say," he replied. "You know how the moon affects tides and the water. Well, we are 70% water aren't we?"

"Oh my God, yeah!" squealed the promo girl. "I never thought of that. S***!"

As she turned back to the stove, Pete innocently enquired about the type of milk about to be served up. "Is that skimmed or a semi?" he asked.

"A semi. A bit like something else around here," she replied, as the pair burst into a fit of giggles.

Well, they say laughter's the best medicine for all - ahem - problems, don't they

Dream On

After being woken up by the sound of big fat jet planes flying low, the housemates crawled out of their beds to the lounge. Obviously, the sight of a rainy August day did nothing to lift their spirits, but luckily Pete had his saucy Glyn dream to confess.

"I dreamt about you and Glyn last night," Pete smirked to Aisleyne. .. type=text/javascript> ..>

Snuggled under her duvet on the lounge floor, Aisleyne screeched: "What, me and Glyn? What?!"

"You were in here and I came back with a wig on and jumped on you, and you and Glyn were getting it on!" Pete said starting to blush. "It was all sweaty and horrible..."

"Pete!" Aisleyne gasped so loud that Glyn heard her in the bedroom. "What were you saying?" Glyn shouted from his bed.

"I will tell you!" Pete yelled back while Aisleyne continued to gasp: "Oh, Pete!"

"It's funny...Glyn..." Aisleyne shouted, about to reveal the dream: "No, I'm not saying...I can't say it...Pete had a rude dream about you!"

"Not just about him!" Pete said quickly stopping her.

Oh Peter, you saucy little dream minx, you!

The Week's Top Stories

It's been quite a week in the confines of the House. Big Brother went on a short break to Margate, and while he was away, things started to unravel a bit; there were a few rows and plenty of things going wrong. Who could've guessed the housemates would miss the all-powerful one? And to top it all off the end of the week brought a double eviction...

It seems even the Big Brother housemates aren't immune to the vagaries of automated life after they were left home alone and Glyn found himself .. type=text/javascript> ..>

hanging on the telephone. A brush of relief was soon at hand as the painted ladies did their thing. On Monday, Aisleyne learned to her cost not to mess with Big Brother's Big Keypad, while Mikey and Glyn endured a bit of trouble and strife. The rest of the housemates just wanted BB to phone home.

Tuesday brought more raised voices to the House as Mikey and Jennie couldn't stop whining, and Mikey had more to moan about when he found things were out of order. All was well for Glyn and Jennie, though, as they got a little closer playing Fork Me, Spoon Me.

As midweek approached, the housemates all had a few lessons to learn at the Big Brother University, but for Susie and Richard everything seemed to just get lost in translation.

When Thursday arrived, Pete found himself back in Elizabethan times as a character from A Midsummer Night's Dream. No-one could get anywhere near his bottom, but they all wanted to know one thing - why the long face?

Friday brought a few surprises for the housemates as first Mikey and then Susie were evicted.

On Saturday - often the day for fun tasks - Big Brother did not disappoint as the housemates all became pawn stars and for winning player Jennie, the prize was just the ticket. Pete had a result too after Imogen nominated him to receive a letter from home.

Lawks! Just wait until they find out what other delightful surprises Big Brother has in store for them this week.

Task: Mysteries of Life

Temperature-busting India, China and Persia are all historically deep-thinking hot beds. So is it possible that the sweltering summertime micro-climate of Borehamwood could harbour some keen-minded thought?

We're putting the theory to the test. As the sun beats down on the House this afternoon, housemates must attempt to solve some of the world's greatest mysteries.

Called one-by-one to the Diary Room, each housemate will be given a mystery. Each must then discuss their mystery and attempt to solve it with their fellow housemates.

The posers to bend the housemates brains are:

1. Why do people have eyebrows?

2. How much does the average human head weigh?

3. Why is a wedding ring always worn on the third finger?

4. Why do men have nipples?

5. What would the effect on Earth be should an alien spaceship steal the moon?

6. Why can't people tickle themselves?

If all housemates successfully participate in the task, housemates will be rewarded with a Chinese takeaway. Or as Confucius said: 'Coarse rice for food, water to drink, and the bended arm for a pillow - happiness may be enjoyed even in these.'

Feel the Love

When Pete gave up his jail position in prison task, he also gave up the chance to receive a letter from home. But yesterday Pete won a letter in the Big Brother board game and is now over the moon about his mum calling him 'Perfect Pete'.

"I can't believe it, when I got that letter..." an emotional Pete told Big Brother. "I was gobsmacked, it wouldn't even sink in, what my mum was saying. Today I'm like 'Oh my God! My whole life has changed'."

Clearly happy, Pete continued: "It's a weird feeling, my new found feeling of easiness. I don't know what to do with it, I'm buzzing."

With a massive smile he said: "This is a new feeling. I'm gonna see what I can do with this new power I have. I feel perfect. More perfect than ever."

Aww, Pete. That's deep man.

Just the Ticket

Poor Richard picked up a bum Diary Room card and halfway through the game was sent back to the start. Gutted. But Pete won a letter from home and as for Jennie, well she was the first to get to Day 80 and her prize was to receive immunity from the next eviction.

Reaching the final square on the board, game champion Jennie was called to the Diary Room to collect her prize. While her housemates watched on the plasma screen in the lounge, a petrified Jennie waited to find out what fate held in store for her. .. type=text/javascript> ..>

Victoriously waving a bottle of champagne, Jennie was told to open the prize envelope. She was expressionless as she stared at the card and her housemates expected the worst. They sat with open mouths waiting for Jennie to announce her prize.

Finally a big smile crept onto the board game winner's face and she read in shock: "Congratulations. The bearer of this ticket gets a free pass to the Big Brother final...the bearer is immune from next week's eviction!" Jennie then started to get a little over excited and ranted: "I am gonna p***! I don't know what to do!"

Jennie then ran out of the Diary Room and her housemates were there to greet her with screams and hugs. "I'm in the final!" Jennie screeched, "I've never been in the final of anything!"

Gosh, has anyone ever seen such a good board game prize?!

I'd Rather Go Naked

Still feeling the effects of last night's drinking, sleepy housemates Jennie and Imogen tried to find the motivation to unpack their suitcases. Glyn, on the other hand, was like a spring chicken. And a potentially naked one at that.

Weeks ago he threatened to streak and streak he did, right through the lounge. And now Glyn has been chatting about wandering around naked, so we're expecting to see that some time soon. Cripes. .. type=text/javascript> ..>

"I feel like I'm dead inside," Jennie whinged as she unpacked her case. "I'm sick of my clothes," Imogen moaned. "I've not worn hardly anything. I can't be bothered in here," Jennie grumbled again.

Well, if the girls are sick of their clothes, maybe they should take a leaf out of Glyn's extrovert book. With a massive grin on his face, he told the girls: "I was just talking about how walking around naked won't bother anyone now Susie has gone..."

Chuckling he said: "If I show my c*** on telly, it's my problem!"

And ours Glyn, and ours!

Empty Bed Blues

They were allowed to sleep in until 10am, the lucky blighters, so they couldn't really complain when Big Brother drilled an annoying alarm sound through the House. But they did: Pete buried his head in his pillow while his housemates cowered under their duvets.

Glyn woke for the first time without his pal Mikey. Sitting up, he gazed around the room and sighed: "Empty beds everywhere."

But empty beds were not the first thing to cross Aisleyne's mind. She had the drunken anxiety attack you get the morning after: "Oh.My.God!" she screeched, "What did I say in the Diary Room last night? Please stop me from going in there when I'm drunk!"

Managing to control her boozy embarrassment, Aisleyne then clocked the empty beds too: "Oh my God, then there was six!"

"Scary..." a sleepy Richard muttered from the depths of his duvet.

Never mind the empty beds, housemates. Who's going to make the tea now Susie has gone?