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Andrew



Last Updated: 4/27/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 44
Sign: Aquarius

City: AUSTIN
State: TEXAS
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/8/2005

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Sunday, April 20, 2008 
That is, my blog is moving. I decided to blog on blogger instead of myspace, for a number of reasons. My future posts will be at:

http://theeandrew.blogspot.com/

Please check it out, and thanks for reading!


Friday, April 18, 2008 

Anne Waldman gave a reading at UT last night. Anne is a poet who cofounded the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics at the Naropa University in Boulder with Allen Ginsberg. Liz studied with Anne at Naropa, so she was looking forward to seeing her again and hearing her read.

I wasn't sure what to wear to a poetry reading, so I asked Liz as we got ready to go. Here is a transcript of our conversation. 

ANDREW: "Should I wear a black turtleneck and beret and shave my beard into a goatee?"

LIZ: (Annoyed pause.) "No."

The reading was awesome. Anne is interesting, funny, larger than life. Her poetry is a relentless flow of powerful, evocative words. It was inspiring. It made me want to start journaling again. It reminded me that I love words.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008 

I'm sitting here doing taxes and listening to music. To itemize my expenses, I'm looking up the value of items of clothing that I gave to Goodwill.

The iPod is playing a track by the Propellerheads. In the song, a female voice is talking about how her life revolves around musicians. I glance at my donation list: "One long-sleeve polyester blouse with red feather collar."

The female voice in the song says, "We hustled our way in. Everybody had long hair." I glance at my donation list: "One suede coat."

Next, the voice says, "He's got a nice body. He's wearing velvet pants." I glance at my donation list: "One pair velvet pants."

Seriously. I read and heard the words "velvet pants" at the same instant. It was a little freaky.

Monday, April 14, 2008 

Sunday, April 06, 2008 

Interesting biotechnology story.

Friday, March 28, 2008 

This week’s AI haiku goes out to Kristy Lee Cook, the perennial bottom-three finisher who managed to make it to the couch this week by covering that patronizing Lee Greenwood song.

How to save your butt:
Sing "God Bless The USA"
Hide behind the flag

 
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 

I did a double-take when I first saw this sign at a coffeehouse today:

Do not download episodes of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or other copyrighted materials on Thunderbird’s network.

Thank you.

Thunderbird Coffee House

Monday, March 24, 2008 

My realtor is a very thoughtful woman. For each major holiday, she sends her clients envelopes stuffed with seasonal gifts. For Easter, she sent us some candy and a plastic Easter egg.

I took the Easter egg out of the bag to look at it. It is just like the plastic Easter eggs of my childhood--you can open it and stuff it with candy or whatever. The only difference was, instead of being a bright solid color, the egg was covered in a camouflage pattern.

I started thinking about it, and it seemed kind of odd. I thought that Easter eggs were for children to find. Small children, small enought to believe that a magical bunny hides colorful eggs in their yard. Isn’t that why Easter eggs are usually bright shades of pink, baby blue, and purple? Isn’t it kind of cruel to hide camouflage eggs around the yard and then send your toddler after them? I mean, the poor kid’s skull hasn’t even fully hardened yet.



Can you spot the Easter egg in this photo? Me neither.

Anyway, Liz and I had a good laugh about the egg.

A couple of days later, Liz said, "You’re not going to believe this." Liz receives email notifications from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission about recalled products. Here’s the latest alert:

Hobby Lobby Stores Recalls Easter Egg Containers and Spinning Egg Tops Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Camouflage Eggs and Spinning Egg Top Toys

Importer: Hobby Lobby Stores Inc.

Hazard: The paint on the toys contains excessive levels of lead, violating the federal lead paint standard.

Manufactured in: China

Geez. So not only is the camouflage Easter egg a cruel prank, it’s also covered in deadly toxins. No better way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ than to  poison small children. Thanks, evil corporation!





Sunday, March 23, 2008 
Here’s my belated haiku from Tuesday’s show.

Syesha’s new plan:
Same vocals, same stage presence
Show lots of cleavage


Thursday, March 20, 2008 

Picture me standing in the front yard, holding my baby, which happens to be the cutest baby in the history of the world.

Picture me standing in the front yard, holding my baby, talking to my neighbors and their little three-year-old girl Lulu. To visualize Lulu, imagine the cutest little girl you’ve ever seen, with long brown hair and big brown eyes. Now double that cuteness. That’s Lulu.

Now picture Lulu running up to greet the baby in my arms. She sees his little baby foot dangling there, and proceeds to gently grab each cute little impossibly tiny toe while reciting "This Little Piggy."

Only, instead of saying "This little piggy had roast beef," she substitutes "This little piggy went to Changos and had burritos."

This is her own idea. Because Changos is her favorite restaurant.

I call that Real Ultimate Cuteness.