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The Schmoejoes



Last Updated: 9/24/2009

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Status: Married
City: WASECA
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/10/2005

Blog Archive
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Tuesday, April 28, 2009 
Yep. We're 5 years old as of April 3rd, and I think it's about 70 in 'band years'. Some facts and figures that are almost completely outta an ass somewhere: The band: - Has over 4 sets of original material. Some of it is fantastic, some is merely awesome. - Has a 1/4 recorded record. We're waiting for the economic collapse so we can finish it, using chickens and sharpened sticks as barter. - We've practiced together about 1500 hours, which comes out to be about two months straight; no breaks. It seems like more. - we practiced for two years before we played our first show. (at the Kato Ballroom for those who are keeping track.) - According to the YouTubes, The Schmoejoes are loved roughly equally by teen-age girls and men over 55. Oddly, that is exactly the demographic I was aiming at. - According to Mom, I've been writing songs since I was about 4. - The last three years have each been, "The Year of The Schmoejoes". I expect this will be true this year as well. - Winona Ryder has a Schmoejoes t-shirt. - I played drums in a movie called 'Kwik Stop'. Uncredited :| - Jim, Bob, and I lived blocks away from each other in Northeast Minneapolis before we met, years later. - The Schmoejoes is shortened from 'Joe Schmoe and the Schmoejoes'. It didn't help. - Prince once saw me play guitar. I still want to crawl in a hole. - The first guitar I bought was 3 dollars. I bought it from my friend Woody, who purchased it moments earlier for 2 dollars. I still have it. I'm waiting for someone to buy it for 4 dollars. That's all you get for now. Shows on the way, and a ton of new tunes.


Oh yeah, we're on the Twitter now: http://twitter.com/TheSchmoejoes Follow us at your peril.

5:35 AM 
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Sunday, October 12, 2008 

Category: Music
The Schmoejoes, Bardens Bar - October 18th The Schmoejoes, Bardens Bar - October 31st
2:24 AM 
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Sunday, October 12, 2008 

Category: Music
Who has disturbed our Ancient Slumber?

Good morning! Before we get started, no, we haven't: died, moved, quit, taken up knitting, transferred our consciousness to the internet, showered or been arrested. We're back from vacation, which we needed.

Since I posted last we've: been to the studio to start our critically ignored album, played with dogs, worked, loved, lost, loved & lost, wrote some new tunes, rewrote some old ones, made some pals, unmade others, found some kitties, learned some new things, forgot some old ones, got politically active/lazy, cleaned up our acts, took up smoking (more), gave up drinking for a day, quit giving up drinking, read some books, and generally did things that people do when they aren't in a band.

As there are some things that deserve their own post, I'll be splitting some of it up...

Until then, we're on! October 18th - Barden's Bar in Waseca - Ben & Paulina's Engagement party! They first met each other while watching The Schmoejoes, so we're making it official! (Ok, that didn't happen, but we're doing it anyway)

then....

Barden's Halloween Bash - October 31st. Totally insane. The Schmoejoes come out of their two week retirement to rock like they are hain'ted!

More to come as I write it...
2:07 AM 
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Saturday, April 26, 2008 

Current mood:  tired
Category: Music
(This first bit refers to www.theschmoejoes.com/news, where I make HTML do my bidding eventually, after much rending of garments.)

First off, I fixed the little calendar on the left there, so you can actually see the details (about time) That's the first place I update with shows; you can subscribe to it via the little plus button on the bottom. Secondly, for you lazies, I'll try and keep this post updated with the latest. You can bookmark the permanent link, or subscribe to the RSS feed up top.

Here comes the science!


Saturday, 6/14/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ O'Gara's

One of our rare Twin Cities visits - get there early, and you might get a free shirt!

9pm - 10:00 - The Schmoejoes
10:15 - 11:15 - Slack and Daylight

11:30 - 12:30 - Plotting The Crime

12:45 - 1:45am - Magic Black Pumas


$6 cover, 21+

O'Gara's Bar & Grill

164 Snelling Ave. N., St Paul, MN 55104
651-644-3333




Sunday, 6/15/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ Solstice Music Festival

The Schmoejoes in a big field, with other great bands. The closest you're going to get to Woodstock in this decade!

Get there early - we start at 1pm!

More info and tickets: www.solsticemankato.com

Land of Memories Park, Mankato, MN




Saturday, 6/21/2008 - The Schmoejoes Record!

We've heard that most bands make this CD thing with songs on it. We're going to Pachederm Studio in Cannon Falls to give it a try.




Friday, 7/4/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ Lakefest

The Schmoejoes go unplugged in the great outdoors, and steal beer from your cooler! Then, fireworks in the sky. Every show of ours should close with fireworks.

No cover - We play @ 7-9pm, but there will be stuff going on all day!

Lakefest
Clear Lake Park
Waseca, MN 56093
507-835-3260




Saturday, 7/5/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ Barden's Bar & Liquor

The Schmoejoes clean up the mess from the Waseca All-School Reunion. This only happens once every ten thousand years, so don't miss it!

No cover - Show starts @ 10pm

Barden's Bar & Liquor

110 State St. S., Waseca, MN 56093
507-835-5343




Saturday, 7/12/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ the Rueb-N-Stein

The Schmoejoes invade Northfield, MN with our pals, Depot Creek! More fun than riding the elevators in Watson at Carleton College! (I had nothing to do with that...and those are not my initials up there)

No cover - Show starts @ 9pm

Rueb-N-Stein

503 Division St. S., Northfield, MN 55057
507-645-6691




August 31 - June 2nd - TBA

When we know, you'll know.

12:59 PM 
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Friday, April 04, 2008 

Category: Music

Unbelievable. I post a note on /. about buying shirts, then don’t have any up AND I post a broken link. Here they are! $15 bucks via the great and evil paypal. My apologies, my hot internet shirt model didn’t show up for work today.

Support your local band! (Since the interwebs mean everyone’s local, I figure I will need 6 1/2 billion shirts.) I have most sizes - If you have any questions just ask. Thanks!

I should point out that these shirts were designed by yours truly, as my mom will want to know.

(Of course, I’m an idiot, as I’m posting a page full of images to Slashdot...)

If you hate shirts, go see our painfully trebly new videos on youtube...













4:51 AM 
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Tuesday, March 25, 2008 
no time. So come see us in person, already.

We’re playing the Midtown Tavern in Mankato with Depot Creek on Friday, March 28. 3 bucks gets you in, and if you buy one of our new shirts there, we’ll give you 3 bucks off.

If you’re not blind and live in Kato, I’m sure you’ve seen one or more of our posters that Craig (from Depot Creek) and I put up. Here’s the ’Hot Rods & Hobo" silkscreened poster Tom from Evolution Shirts in Henderson, MN made for us,




and the sweet letterpress poster that Craig printed on his giant Heidelberg printer(you can find some of his work at Tin Can Valley). You’ll also find another poster from Depot Creek’s own Jeremy on the Depot Creek site. I was supposed to have one going, but managed to be far too busy. grr. Next time! Awesome work all around.

Speaking of awesome work, Tom made some shirts for us that rock if I do say so myself. As they feature two fantastic designs by yours truly, they’re the greatest shirts you’ll ever own. They’ve already been going fast, and I haven’t even put them up here yet. I have to wait for my model to come though...

They’ll be at the show, just like you. What else ya gonna do?

2:12 PM 
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Saturday, December 29, 2007 

Category: Music
Break all your resolutions in the first 5 minutes of 2008 with The Schmoejoes!


Yes, we are playing Barden's Bar in Waseca on 12/31/07 AND 1/1/08 - Sober cabs are provided, for you Drunky McDrunkersens, and there's no cover, so you can spend all the 5 dollar bills you got from your auntie this Xmas on liquors!
It's going to be swell, and we will see you there.

4:03 PM 
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Saturday, December 15, 2007 

Category: Music
The Schmoejoes return from a rather long break, and with a new man behind the drums - Bob.

Jay is well and off pursuing his vision quest with his film production company. If you have any gigs/money for him, you can reach him here: jay@theschmoejoes.com

Bob used to play in The Lovejoys, with me, Patrick, and Woody back in the day, so we've already figured out how to piss each other off, and know the joy of twelve person audiences before the Playstation 2 was to blame.

Here's The Schmoejoes playing on a boat recently, with Bob floating around in back there. It might help to have a couple before you watch, to even things out.



We'll be coming to a town near you soon.
9:13 PM 
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Sunday, July 01, 2007 

Category: Music
Hey kids! Summertime is here, and I've been lazy. Lots has been going on recently with The Schmoejoes - hope you Minneapolis city-folk caught us when we played with Seymore Saves the World on the 14th of June @ the Uptown Bar and Grill.


Those of you more local to the 'Joes may have caught us in one of our rare sunlight performances at the Solstice festival in Mankato. We went on at 1pm and almost melted under the big heat lamp in the sky. Everything went according to plan though, and we stayed to watch our pals, The Gin Daddies mess the place up with some rawkabilly.



Upcoming quickly is an even more rare occurrence, a solo acoustic gig by me here in scenic Waseca, on the Fourth of July. I'll be doing some of The Schmoejoes' tunes, some of my early early stuff, and a random cover or two. I may even attempt the harmonica. If you're that desperate to see me and my singery-songwritery side, it's Lakefest in Waseca, and I'll be onstage in Clear Lake Park from 3-4pm. It starts earlier if you got some free time...


The Schmoejoes return to duty on August 2nd, from 6-7pm at the Mankato Ribfest. We'll be warming up the stage for Soul Asylum, who needs no introduction. There are some other bands playing that night, but as you're here, you only care about us, right? :)



The week after that, The Schmoejoes will be at Music and Movies in District del Sol - Parque Castillo in St. Paul, MN on August 9th. The movie that will be playing after we get done rockin' is 'A Cinderella Story' starring Hillary Duff (who is a HUGE fan of The Schmoejoes). Since the site says that we are 'Funk', we'll do what we can to funk everything all up. We're going to funk you, in other words. tee hee.


There are a few other shows on the burner, and I'll post them as I confirm them.


Thanks to everyone who's come to see us, we love you crazy SJ fans!

5:22 AM 
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Friday, April 13, 2007 

Category: Music
It's been a long time since I posted any new video, so here it is! I've posted a few things to the YouTubes, and the Myspace; here's some YT links to our infamous 2-set St. Patrick's Day show at the Inferno Tavern:

bewithme
dontcomehome

Don't watch them too many times, you'll wear out the tape.



Of course, I've posted links in the 'Pics' section, and I'm sure you can find the same ones if you visit our Myspace page, because you're smart. Everyone says so. Sadly, I don't have any footage of Seymore Saves the World's performance, but you'll be able to see us together on June 14 at the Uptown Bar in Minneapolis, and you can bring your own damn camera.
3:56 PM 
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