The Black Eyed Pees

you thought we were dead...but we aren't. just taking a break perhaps. well if you didn't know...the black eyed peas are annoying...oh and fergie peed her pants...

 

the scoop staff reports

There has been much speculation to whether or not the Spears-Federline duo are mature enough to be responsible parents.  But insider friend, Phil Levy assures us here at The Scoop that there is nothing to worry about.  Just the other day when Levy asked Kev how the newborn was doing Mr. Spears replied, "My son is a gangsta, man! The first time I held him in my arms, he peed on me! I had to change my shirt!"  So worry no more, the 'gangsta' can handle himself.

EXACTLY!

the scoop staff reports

world renowned magician, david copperfield, lost his legs in a recent magic mishap. good news is, his hairplugs are still intact. phew!

the scoop staff reports

How Cute!

Britney Spears gave birth to a healthy baby boy yesteday. Scoop insiders told us that the baby is as ugly as Britney's soul.

The Scoop Staff Reports

The top ten moments of the ReAct Now Katrina Benefit Concert as seen on television's Music Television. 1. Will Ferrell plays drums for Red Hot Chili Peppers 2. Mellisa Etheridge takes matters into her own hands and declares that she is a lesbian 3. Dave Matthews plays with emotion. Finally! 4. Brian Wilson needs a hug 5. John Mayer loses complete control of of his facial muscles and craps his pants 6. Keith Richards and Mick Jagger accidentally wander onto stage during a Rolling Stones performace. 7. Neil Young scares the shit out us with his patented Death Stare 8. Maroon 5's Adam Levine eye-fucks us til we like it 9. Good Charlotte 10.Hank Williams Jr. shows up with a purpose and plays a most heartfelt rendition of "Are You Ready For Some Football?" the scoop staff reports

During a recent interview with local bird watcher and aviary specialist Phil Levy, it was confirmed that Larry King looks like an Owl.

the scoop staff reports

Kanye West, scoop correspondent, has confirmed that George W. Bush does not care about...

- finding hair in his food. He will pick it out and keep on eating. 

- wearing shoes that match his belt.

- empty calories. He enjoys a good Dr. Pepper.

- the facebook. Dubya loves xanga and myspace though!

the scoop staff reports

The Scoop Staff apologizes for a misprint. As it turns out Britney Spears is not pregnant... just fat.
EXACTLY!

the scoop staff reports

In a recent interview Mrs. Kevin Federline disclosed she would like to capture the moment of her child's birth forever by tattooing her baby's name on herself. Respected Los Angeles OB/GYN, Phil Levy, has been quoted as saying, "What? I heard she's namin' that bastard 'Oops, bad idea one more time! Ha!" An inside source has also reported Britney will Ebay the childs placenta, you know, just for spending money.

The Scoop Staff Reports  

Hot off the press,

Ryan Adams stars as Rick Moranis in the Rick Moranis Story. Local Canuk, Phil Levy says, "Love is hell? More like... love is honey I shrunk my career, again. I mean, come on, do we need another fuggin' musician tryin to be an actor? Shiz!"

The Scoop Staff Reports.