I barely made it out of the Lake Tahoe area before the snow got too thick and I'm glad to be back in sunny NorCal.  That said, let me tell you what I was doing there.

I went to Crystal Bay Casino in Crystal Bay, Nev., to do a show with Brad Bonar Jr.  Let me tell you those people have a great room up there.  It was packed and they were ready for a show.  We took it to them and they loved it.

The emcee, Adam Stone, did a good job of getting the crowd warmed up, but there was someone there doing a guest set.  This kid had never been on stage before, but he brought 40 people, so the booker gave him 10 minutes.  This kid did the dirtiest material you can imagine (and not a punch line in sight).  His friends were going wild, but the majority of the audience couldn't wait for him to finish.

Then, I had 30 minutes to do behind him.  I purposely did the cleanest set I could do and it was like a breath of fresh air to the audience.  They ate it up and I loved it.

This room is great in that they have some state-of-the-art equipment there.  There are six large-screen monitors around the room, five more at the bar, on which the audience can watch the comedian on stage.  Though the stage is somewhat plain, on the monitor we (the comedians) were standing on the bow of a ship (pirate ship?) in a storm.

When I took the stage I did some impromptu pirate material.  The audience ate it up as they watched the monitor as I pretended it was a "dark and stormy night."  I had a blast ... as well as a good set.

I always hang around after and show and shake hands with the audience, thank them for coming out to see us.  I feel I owe them that.  I always get comments like "great show" and "good job."  And though those sentiments are nice, they're typical and almost obligatory.

One comment I particularly liked came from several people, but one person summed it up succinctly:  Thanks for giving us some clean comedy for a change.

The comment that really blew me away, however, was this one:  I've rarely heard such creative wordplay coming from a comedian.

Wow.  I love that.  One of my early champions of comedy was George Carlin.  I consider him the master of wordplay.  I aspired to be like him.  I've fallen way short, but that comment really hit home to me.  Maybe I have some promise yet.

The bottom line:
Thanks, George!

It's very easy to "what ... if ..." any situation you've ever been faced with, are faced with or will be faced with.  It's human nature and everybody's doing it.  In fact, it's been done to death.  Having said that, I was recently what-iffed.

How would you reply?

I was recently asked what I would be doing if I was financially able to do anything I wanted.

That's an easy one for me.  I'd be doing exactly what I'm doing now.  I'd be doing comedy and my radio show.  I already have the perfect job.  Money would do nothing more than allow me more expensive leisure experiences.

I've always believed that if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. 

I have to admit that this attitude toward "what I do" is baffling to my wife's family.  Her dad retired from the military and then went to work for Exxon.  He retired from that with tremendous stock options and is basically able to do whatever he likes whenever he likes.  He doesn't understand my apparent disregard for financial security.  My wife is a city planner, her brother is a physicist and her sister is a lawyer married to a wine maker.  I'm the oddball.

My wife's brother asked her the other day what my hobbies are (we've been married six years and they still can't seem to get a handle on me).  My wife thought for a moment and then said, "Well, it seems that he doesn't really have any hobbies.  When he gets a hobby, he turns it into a career."  Bingo!  That's it -- do what you love!

I was recently asked what I would do if I knew I couldn't fail at it.

Again, I'd have to say that I'd be doing the same thing.  But, I would add one thing:  I'd play professional tournament poker.  That would also supply the financial freedom I would desire.  Which brings me to my last "what ... if ...."

I've been asked what I would wish for if I could be granted three wishes.

A simpler question could not be posed.

Wish One:  I wish I could win at every game I ever played whenever I wanted to.

Again, I would play professional poker tournaments to supply financial freedom for me and my family.

Wish Two:  I wish for health, happiness and long lives for me and my extended family.

Wish Three:  I wish that my descendants would be successful at everthing they endeavor to do.

The reality is that with hard work and dedication we can make all of these what-ifs happen.

The bottomline:
It's not the power of positive thinking that matters, it's the power of positive actions.

I read this headline while perusing the news today:  "Year of Pig signals conflicts before new world order:  soothsayers."

Now a lot of people reading that headline might focus in on the phrase "Year of the Pig" and not realize that that refers to the Chinese New Year coming up this weekend.  Some people might be drawn to the phrase "new world order" and go off on a tangent about the coming one-world government that is scheduled to engulf us all in the 21st century.  None of those people are me.  What caught my eye was the group to which this headline was ascribed:  soothsayers.

Soothsayers?  How do you get to be a soothsayer?  Is there a regulatory commison who licenses soothsayers?  What is a soothsayer, exactly?

The semantics of the word, after some research, seems to come from the archaic English word "sooth," meaning truth.  So a soothsayer is someone who "says the truth" right?  No.  From the word sooth came the verb "to soothe," meaning to placate, comfort or calm.  So a soothsayer is someone who "says things that are comforting," right?  Have you ever heard a soothsayer say anything positive?  Come on.  It's all doom and gloom.  You see before the word soothsayer entered the vernacular, the ancient word sooth had come to mean "a person who assents to the truth" or "says yes to a statement in order to placate them."  This is the origin of the word soothsayer, so literally a soothsayer is:  One who says things to placate others.  We further bastardized the word to mean someone who claims to foretell the future.  A sort of cosmic yes man.  Since the future hasn't happened yet, there is no way to tell whether or not he or she is telling the truth.

Okay, I understand the origins of the word, now how do I get to be one?  Well, just like becoming a psychic detective, there is no governing agency for becoming a soothsayer.  It seems all that needs to be done is to declare yourself one, begin making predictions and it is so.

So, as of now, I declare myself a soothsayer.  Here, therefore, is the first sooth I am saying:

In the next 50 to 75 years newspapers will cease to exist in printed form and libraries housing volumes of written material will be rare.  People will read their daily "newspapers" and virtually all other printed material on the Internet.  The majority of people will utilize a laptop computer no bigger than an average sized book of today.  They will carry it with them and never leave home without it.  In a related sooth:  Before the end of the century the government will completely control the Internet.

Say it ain't so.

In this case, MVP stands for Most Valued Perception, and it comes from a true MVP.

Joe Montana took the San Francisco 49ers to four Super Bowls, and won them all.  After retirement, he was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame and was named by Sports Illustrated as the greatest football player in the past 50 years.  Joe knows something about winning.

When asked by a reporter how old he was when he won his first Super Bowl, Joe said:  "Twelve years old, and I've won a thousand of them since.  All but four of them took place in our backyard in my hometown of Monogahela, Pennsylvania, a few miles down the road from Pittsburgh."

What a great answer!  That's the attitude it takes to be successful at anything.  You must imagine being a winner in order to make that reality come true.

Of course, you have to put legs on your dreams to make them materialize.  Without the hard work and dedication that Joe put into becoming the best, he would have just remained a dreamer.  He wasn't sitting in his backyard dreaming of throwing touchdown passes, he was actually throwing the football at imaginary targets, each one representing Jerry Rice if he'd have only known the future.

As a comedian, I spend countless hours performing.  I perform everyday.  I get plenty of stage time.  The audience is small -- most of the time my dog Beau may be the only audient -- there's no stage, no lights, no sound system required. It's just me talking into anything slightly resembling a microphone, but I KILL!

As a radio talk host, I get more airtime than Howard Stern.  I sit at this computer and broadcast into the air every day.  It takes practice to be spontaneous and witty.  And that results in really believing you can do it.

This past Saturday the producer of our radio show dared me to throw the prepared subject matter out the window and wing the whole show.  "Just be yourself," he said to me.  Of course, I was thinking:  "Sure.  That's easy for you say.  But, if I flop on air, I'll be the one paying the price."  However, as I sat in the booth before the show, my mind recalled all of those hours of "open air" talk I'd been doing for the past six months.  A new thought jumped into my head:  "All right, if that's what he wants, watch my smoke."

I took that mic with a mission and I let it rip.  When the show was over, we had had more phone calls than ever before and the buzz in the booth was electric.  The producer walked in, smiled, and said:  "That was your best show yet."

My next thought:  "Well, if that's what he wants I can do that all day."

Why was that my next thought, because I had been doing that all day, therefore, I was confident that I could do that.

By practicing the way you want to play (just as Joe did in his backyard), you give yourself that winning edge.

The bottomline:
Confidence is built on the back of rehearsing your dreams.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but no t to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... Who cares?

George Carlin

So many things have already happened this year that I can't even begin to write them in one blog (well, not in detail anyway).  It's turning out to be a great year and I'm riding the wave.

The other day I picked up a book called Why We Want You to be Rich by Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki.  I figured if a multi-millionaire and multi-billionaire want me to be rich, I should probably read what they have to say.

I recently bought into a networking business and was happy to see that both The Donald and Kiyosaki see this as producing the next wave of millionaires.  That's definitely a wave I'd like to ride.  Of course it's no fun without company, so I was happy when another comedian, a headliner I really admire, got involved with me.  We are having a great time with this business, which allows us to make a lot of money and still keep doing what we love -- comedy.  He's headlining the Punch Line in S.F. this weekend and I'm heading for a big casino, so it hasn't slowed us down a bit.

On top of that, one of the products that we deal in has been a big benefit to me personally.  It's called Tunguska Blast.  I had heard how it reduces your stress level (to be honest, I've never been big on stress, so that was not appealing to me) and levels out your body's electrolites, etc.  Those are good things.  I tried a bottle.

You only take an ounce a day and it takes a week or so to show any effects.  They say it takes a month for your body to fully respond.

For at least five years I have had an increasing pain in my left knee.  Granted, I have abused my body doing martial arts (full contact), hiking through the roughest terrain as a Survival Instructor in the military and wrecking motorcycles, so I knew someday it was bound to rebel.  The problem has increased in severity for the past two years -- to the point that going up and down stairs or climbing hills was very painful.

The week before I started using T-Blast (as we call it in the business), I was with Brad Bonar Jr. setting up a corporate gig in Lake Tahoe.  We went up and down a lot of stairs and my knee made me feel like a tottering old man following along behind Brad.  One week later (after taking T-Blast that entire week), we were back there for an all-day gig.  I climbed the same stairs and never once had a pain in my knee.  I'm happy to say that to this day, I have no pain where I have suffered it for the past five years.  I'm sold on this product.  Release stress, maybe, relieve MY pain, definitely.

It's wonderful to have found a product AND a business that allows me such freedom.  This business has also allowed me to become a travel agent.  I get CRAZY discounts on vacation packages, travel and hotel accomodations.  No more staying at the Jason Inn when I'm on the road, I'll tell you that.  Also, if you book your travel through me (and who wouldn't with our meet-or-beat discounts), I get the sale commission.  SWEET!

You can check out www.spiritwalker.cyberwize.com and give me some business.  Whether you're looking for health food supplements, travel arrangements, help with taxes or simply shopping for ANYTHING onlinie at ANY store (Macy's to Wal-Mart), you can find it there AND I get the sales commission.

If you have any questions, please, contact me and I'll be happy to talk to you.

The bottomline:
"Knowledge exists to be imparted." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Doesn't it seem like we will watch celebrities do anything?  We've seen them on established reality shows (Celebrity Mole), we've even created some just for them (The Osbournes).  We've had them play game shows (celebrity Jeopardy!) and we've even had them play children's games (celebrity spelling bee).  If there nothing so degrading that down-on-their-luck celebrities won't participate?  The answer is no, there's not.

Now this unending social experiment of having pampered celebrities engage with ordinary people in ordinary situations has endangered the good citizens of Muncie, Ind.

Here's the premise of "Armed & Famous":  Take five celebrities, give them three weeks of training, issue them guns and badges and swear them in as official officers in the Muncie Police Department.  The five celebs:  Erik Estrada (everyone's favorite CHiPie), La Toya Jackson (who either went to the same plastic surgeon as her brother or used a pencil sharpener on her nose), Jason "Wee-man" Acuna (of "Jackass" fame), Jack Osbourne (Ozzy's drug-crazed son) and Trish Stratus (a former professional wrestler who has guaranteed Stratusfaction).

Three weeks?!  Is that the normal training time for the Muncie PD?  I could see that being the appropriate time for San Francisco or Los Angeles, where officers are expendable, but there can't be much of a turnover in Muncie, can there?

Here's a few things I learned from the premiere of this show.  1)  Tirsh Stratus is tougher than most men I know.  (She was the only one of the five that volunteered to be shot with a taser.  The others had it "applied" with aligator clips.).  2)  I would not want to be shot at by Jack Osbourne (He dirlled a hole, center-mass, in the target with no problem.  However, it wasn't shooting back, so that's a different story).  And 3)  La Toya Jackson makes us all feel smart, if for no other reason than we actually know how to use a Laudromat.

The best line in the show was also the title of the debut show:  "I never thought I'd get handcuffed by a Jackson."  It was delivered by Wee-man during training.

The bottomline:

Isn't it ironic that the only reality celebrities ever get to experience is on TV?

On Aug. 18, 1967 theatergoers were introduced to a half breed Indian character named Billy Jack in the movie "The Born Losers."  However, I wouldn't come to know the character until the movie "Billy Jack" was released in theaters on May 1, 1971.

I remember sitting at the drive-in watching Tom Laughlin portray Billy.  It was the typical 1970s movie, filled with the "flower power" of the age.

(As a side note, this was also my first introduction to Howard Hesseman who played drama teacher Howard Johnson.  Hesseman would later go on to play Dr. Johhny Fever in "WKRP in Cincinnati."  In "Billy Jack" he was billed as Don Sturdy, which confused me for years.)

One of the best scenes in the movie was the fight in the park, where Billy takes on a slew of townsfolks bent on keeping Indians out of the local ice cream parlor.  This is just after Billy takes care of Bernard Posner and Dinosaur inside the parlor.  I loved that fight scene:

Mr. Posner (Bernard's father):  You really think your Green Beret Karate tricks are gonna help you against all these boys?
Billy:  Well, it doesn't look to me like I really have any choice now, does it?
Posner:  [laughing] That's right, you don't.
Billy:  You know what I think I'm gonna do then? Just for the hell of it?
Posner:  Tell me.
Billy:  I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face... [points to Posner's right cheek] and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it.
Posner:  [snickering] Really?
Billy:  Really.  [kicks Posner with an outside crescent kick, sending him to the ground]

I loved that scene!

It wasn't until later that I learned that Tom Laughlin had absolutely NO martial arts training (Okay, I was naive about Hollywood in high school).  All of the stunts including that fight scene were performed by a little Korean guy (when I watch the scene now, it's sooooo obvious) named Bong Soo Han.

Bong Soo Han was a master of Hapkido, a Korean art that combines the kicks of Tae Kwon Do and the joint locking techniques of Judo.  Han founded the International Hapkido Federation and taught several celebrities as well as coreographing fight scenes for several movies.  He was the real Billy Jack, if you will.

On Monday, at the age of 73, Bong Soo Han passed away at his home in Santa Monica.  He was a true 9th degree grandmaster, a gentleman and one of the most peaceful people you would ever care to meet.

I had the pleasure to attend a seminar with Grandmaster Han back in the 1980s.  Hapkido was one of the many arts I studied.  I can honestly say that the sheer power and agility of this diminutive man were awe inspiring.

The bottomline:

Treasure everyone you meet, for you never know when they may no longer be available.

You know there's a question on the MySpace template that asks you to name people you would like to meet.  I don't usually think about such things on a regular basis because ... well ... I have FRIENDS!  I don't really feel a NEED to actively search out or consider other people I'd like to hang out with.  I've always been the kind of guy who just sort of rides the floe of life wherever it takes me and capitalizes on circumstances.

However, recently I have come to realize that maybe there are a couple of people I'd like to meet and hang out with...

If you've read past blogs of mine, you'd know that Les Stroud (the "Survivorman") is someone I would like to hang out with -- not because he's a celebrity (I've never found that very appealing), but because of his knowledge of survival.  We'd have a lot in common to talk about.  But, now there is also Bear Grylls.

If you haven't seen "Man vs. Wild," you should really try to catch it.  Granted, I don't like this show as much as "Survivorman," mainly because Bear takes a camera crew along and you have to wonder:  "If what you're doing is so dangerous, how is the camera crew doing it along with you and how did they get that cool shot?"  I'd like to see how the camera crew got up that shear cliff or crossed that hot lava bed.  Put another camera crew on them!

Still Bear is a fount of knowledge and I do like the way he teaches survival techniques, which is slightly better than Les.  Not that I think Bear is more knowledgeable, he's just a better instructor.  The only thing that bugs me about Bear is his accent.  I don't know that I can listen to him for more than an hour at a time.

But, the one person I would really like to spend some time with is Jon Douglas Rainey.  (Aha!  So now you know why I seemingly misspelled it in the title of this blog.)  Jon is one of the hosts of "It Takes a Thief," along with Matt Johnston.

If you haven't seen the show, here's the gist of it:  Matt approaches a homeowner who is obviously lax in the area of home security, after acquiring permission the crew then places cameras throughout the house and property, Matt and the homeowners watch from a van monitoring the hidden cameras as Jon breaks in and steals everything they own, after which Matt and his crew completely outfit the homeowners with the latest high-tech crime stopping equipment.

Jon and Matt were both burglars "back in the day."  But let me tell you, I have never seen (or been more impressed with) anyone with Jon's ability to make it look so easy.  He is a master at breaking and entering.

You're probably saying, "SpiritWalker, why are you so interested in home invasions?  Is there something in the dark recesses of your mind that we should shine a light upon?"  No.  I just think that I'm watching a guy who is at the top of his craft.  He's not only creative (and teaches a lot about how to protect yourself from this type of personal attack) and a genius in his field, he's also graceful in his approach and downright acrobatic in his movements.

He climbs walls, jumps fences and navigates roof tops with the deftness of a cat burglar.  I admire his skill, I admire his tenacity, I admire his blatant audacity.  In broad daylight he pulls off some of the most incredible thefts you can imagine -- going so far as to steal full-sized video arcade machines and multiple expensive automobiles and motorcycles.

Of course the goal of the show is to teach the viewers how to protect themselves against these types of nefarious deeds, and it does that, but I still sit and mavel at the knowledge, speed and daring of Jon Douglas Rainey.

I'd like to sit and pick his brain for a while.  Of course I'd need the correct lock picking tools, but that goes without saying.

The bottomline:

Knowledge is where you find it, so keep searching.

Well, it's begun.  It's not like we didn't see it coming.  It was in all of the papers.  I'm glad it's finally here.

It's 2007

I'm happy to say that this year is looking good so far.

On Jan. 20, my radio show, Poker Room Radio (www.pokerroomradio.com), moves to the largest talk station in Northern California -- KFBK, 1530-AM -- and begins simulcasting on KNEW 910-AM out of San Francisco.

A couple of weeks ago I was down in Pasadena and I picked up KFBK all the way down there.  This move is great for building our listening audience.

If that's not enough a station in Los Angeles is negotiating picking up the show AND the largest advertising agency in Nevada is pitching us to casinos in Las Vegas.  If we can pick up some sponsors in Vegas, the show will be broadcast there as well.  Already Bay 101 is sponsoring our San Francisco broadcast and that's really big.

We may even be broadcasting our first KFBK show from Colusa Casino.  They want us to broadcast live from their card room.  People are noticing us and that's a great thing.  (P.S. it gives me an "in" to perform in these casinos as well.)

It may not be long before you see my face on a billboard, because that deal is in the works, too.  Watch out, San Francisco!

Now, this exposure has recently come to light.  Last Tuesday night I played in a tournament at The Lucky Derby Casino in Citrus Heights.  The manager put a $115 bounty on my head.  (That's right, the white man put a bounty on the Indian's head.  I think he attended sinsitivity training with Michael Richards.)  All you had to do to collect the bounty was knock me out of the tournament.

Before the tournament began a man came up and said, "Hey, SpiritWalker, I just finished reading your poker blogs on The Reporter Web site." (www.thereporter.com, go to to "Chip Chat.")  I was flattered.  His name was Pat Lanius and he's a lawyer.  Then he sat two seats to my left (read my blogs and you'll know why that's not a good thing).  You guessed it.  He took the bounty.  I hate lawyers!

Hey, I wish you all the best for 2007.

The bottomline:

May you have all of the happiness you can handle.