(vote for it @ http://www.wildsound-filmmaking-feedback-events.com/1_page_screenplay_vote.html )

THE COOKIE CRUMBLES  by Steve Warren

EXT. NIGHT –  CITY STREET..

LS: MAN walks down sidewalk, looks down, stops.

MAN’s POV: Chocolate chip cookie on sidewalk.

MS: Man bends down to pick up cookie.

.. ..

ECU: Side view of MAN putting cookie to mouth.  Just before he bites down the cookie falls apart because the “chocolate chips,” which are actually baby bees, gather in a tight formation and fly away as camera PANS to follow them.

.. ..

MUSIC: BUZZING sound over what’s pretty much a single chord.

.. ..

MAN’s POV: Looking down long street as the cloud of bees fades into distance.  BUZZING fades with them though MUSIC lingers faintly.

.. ..

SUPER: “THE BEES”

.. ..

ANNOUNCER (VO): In a world where 428 species become extinct every day, one species fights for survival:

.. ..

MAN’s POV: Dark cloud re-forms in distance, moving swiftly toward camera.  MUSIC and renewed BUZZING get louder as they approach; much louder than before.  The bees are grown up now.

.. ..

INT. – MOVIE THEATER

PULL BACK to show the action is happening on a theater screen.

.. ..

CU: Side view of MAN’s face as bees approach.

.. ..

MUSIC and BUZZING stop.  FREEZE FRAME: Bees about an inch from MAN’s face. Maybe a few have flown ahead of the swarm and can be seen individually on his cheek.

.. ..

ANNOUNCER (VO): Man

.. ..

MUSIC resumes softly in BG.

.. ..

CUT TO: DUDE in audience, watching the trailer.  He’s stoked.  He’ll be back next week to see this one!

.. ..

MUSIC out.  Lights come up in theater.  Series of shots of DUDE getting up and leaving.

.. ..

EXT. NIGHT – CITY STREET OUTSIDE THEATER

LS: DUDE walks down sidewalk, looks down, stops.

DUDE’s POV: Chocolate chip cookie on sidewalk.

FADE OUT

2008 in REVIEW – DIGGING FOR DIAMONDS

by Steve Warren

As I write this I'm suffering from extreme epic fatigue.  Each year the major studios and independent distributors cram as much product as they can into "Award Season," which coincides with a year-end boxoffice bonanza for a few commercial releases.

For critics this means being force-fed two or three heavily hyped films a day, some of which we might have appreciated more in leaner times.  A diamond shines brighter in a pile of dung than it does in a pile of diamonds.

Perhaps some critics and award voters actually have such short memories that the last ten movies they see become their top ten.  For me "Milk" and "The Reader" managed to stand out from the clutter but I would have been more impressed with "Frost/Nixon" in May, "The Wrestler" in July and "Revolutionary Road" in September.  "Australia" and "Valkyrie" would have been disappointments in any month.

Each year a few decent films fall by the wayside because their distributors roll the dice at awards time in hopes of getting enough nominations and Ten Best listings to raise their profile.  When that doesn't happen the films, which might have had a decent run against less "prestige" competition, go directly to video.  Even nominations don't always help when everything else in the marketplace has them too.

This seemed like a pretty decent year as it went along, with just enough good to near-great films each month to keep me from sending that letter of resignation I always keep handy; but when it came time to compile the year-end list I was surprised at how little enthusiasm I had for most of my favorites.  Perhaps if there'd been time to watch some of them again...  But the year-end logjam doesn't let us see everything once, let alone twice, plus there's the fatigue factor.

Although reviewing is a subjective art form, there's always a certain amount of objectivity involved too.  That's supposed to go by the wayside for this column, which is just about what gave me the most pleasure, dammit!  But sometimes I listen to the other voices in my head.

I had no trouble ranking "Iron Man" ahead of "The Dark Knight," which faltered significantly in its last half-hour, but without time to re-watch "Leatherheads," for which I was almost alone in my admiration, I let the prevailing wisdom push it from my Top Ten to Second Ten.  I still clung to a few others that aren't on everybody's lists, letting my taste for dark comedy place "Burn after Reading" and "In Bruges" near the top of my list.

My choices for Best Actress and Best Director have to be modified for at least one of the critics' groups I belong to, because we can only vote for one person for one film in each slot and it was their double whammies that propelled Kate Winslet and Clint Eastwood to the top (although Winslet's a close second for "The Reader" anyway).

Some of these titles will be unfamiliar to you because they haven't opened here yet, others because they came and went quickly or bypassed us entirely.  All are worth seeking out.

Top Ten:

1. Milk

2. The Reader

3. Burn after Reading

4. In Bruges

5. American Teen

6. Slumdog Millionaire

7. Vicki Cristina Barcelona

8. Iron Man

9. Revolutionary Road

10. The Wackness

Honorable Mention (listed alphabetically):

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Dark Knight

The Edge of Heaven

Frost/Nixon

Gran Torino

Leatherheads

Son of Rambow

Tropic Thunder

Wanted

Best Foreign-Language Film: The Edge of Heaven

Runners-up: Jellyfish, Priceless

Best Documentary Feature: American Teen

Runners-up: Body of War, Up the Yangtze

Best Animated Film: WALL•E

Runners-up: Kung Fu Panda, Bolt

Best Cult Film: Repo! The Genetic Opera

Runners-up: The Signal, Zombie Strippers

Best Director: Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino & Changeling

Runners-up: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire; Sam Mendes, Revolutionary Road

Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader & Revolutionary Road

Runners-up: Meryl Streep, Doubt; Melissa Leo, Frozen River

Best Actor: Sean Penn, Milk

Runners-up: Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler; Richard Jenkins, The Visitor

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicki Cristina Barcelona

Runners-up: Viola Davis, Doubt; Rosemarie DeWitt, Rachel Getting Married

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Runners-up: Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder; Josh Brolin, Milk

Best Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black, Milk

Runners-up: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, Burn after Reading; Woody Allen, Vicki Cristina Barcelona

Best Adapted Screenplay: David Hare, The Reader

Runners-up: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire; Peter Morgan, Frost/Nixon

Breakout Actor, Senior Division: Richard Jenkins, The Visitor and Burn after Reading

Breakout Actress, Senior Division: Melissa Leo, Frozen River

Breakout Actor, Junior Division: Brandon Walters, Australia

Runners-up: David Kross, The Reader; Andrew Garfield, Boy A

Breakout Actress, Junior Division: Summer Bishil, Towelhead

Runner-up: India Ennenga, The Women

Rediscovery: Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Runner-up: Barry Manilow on soundtracks of Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, and a song in Rachel Getting Married

Name-checked: Bob Fosse in High School Musical 3: Senior Year and Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Runner-up: Dermot Mulroney in Burn after Reading and The Other End of the Line

Onward and Upward: Shia LaBeouf, Eagle Eye and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Backward Step: Michael Cera, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

ROFLMAO: Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Hamlet 2, Tropic Thunder

Pleasant Surprises: Kit Kittredge: An American Girl, Sex Drive, Get Smart, Twilight

Unpleasant Surprises: Mamma Mia!, Speed Racer, Hancock, Miracle at St. Anna

Remake This!: The Women, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Prom Night

Worst. Bond. Ever.: Quantum of Solace

Best Soundtrack from a Bad Movie: My Blueberry Nights

Best Cinematography in a Bad Movie: The Fall

The Day I Least Want to Relive: August 18, when screenings of Hounddog and Towelhead taught me more about adolescent female sexuality than I ever wanted to know

And the next time you envy the great job I have, remember I had to sit through the following:

Bottom Ten:

1.  The Love Guru

2.  Max Payne

3.  Cover

4.  Disaster Movie

5.  Fool's Gold

6.  Bottle Shock

7.  Meet Dave

8.  The Ruins

9.  Meet the Spartans

10. Hell Ride

Dishonorable Mention (listed alphabetically):

Babylon A.D.

Bangkok Dangerous

88 Minutes

Elegy

Four Christmases

The Last Mistress

Made of Honor

My Blueberry Nights

Synecdoche, New York

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

2007 in REVIEW – WHAT A LONG, STRANGE YEAR IT'S BEEN

by Steve Warren

You're all a bunch of idiots!

There, I've got that off my chest.  I don't mean you personally, of course.  If you have enough taste to read this column you're not one of the people who started 2007 by making huge hits of horrible movies ("Norbit," "Ghost Rider," "Wild Hogs"), then stayed away when the "serious" pictures started arriving in the fall.

Everything came in batches all year: great actresses (Julie Christie and Marion Cotillard) and failed "torture-porn" sequels in the spring, threequels in late spring/early summer, vigilante thrillers and Jane Austen-related romances in late summer, anti-Iraq War movies in early fall, African American holiday movies in late fall.  Whatever you liked, there would surely be at least one more just like it opening soon.

The studios continue making a self-fulfilling prophecy of the idea that awards go to late-year releases by saving their potential contenders at least until September, then flooding the market with them.  It's worth noting that most of my Ten Worst opened in the first half of the year, so I don't forget.

After eight months of crap, can the public really be blamed for not flocking to "Reservation Road," "Things We Lost in the Fire," "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead," "Lions for Lambs" and "Martian Child," some of which weren't very good anyway; or for confusing "Dedication" and "Delirious," "Rendition" and "Redacted," "The Hoax" and "The Host," "In the Valley of Elah" and "In the Shadow of the Moon," "September Dawn" and "Rescue Dawn" or "We Own the Night" and "30 Days of Night"?

As disappointing as many of the films themselves were, more disappointing was when one the masses should have enjoyed (e.g., "Shoot 'em Up") got lost in the shuffle.  At this writing the boxoffice jury is still out on those year-end releases that are supposed to make the wait worthwhile.  You'll see several of their titles in the "Best" list below and on many other lists of nominations and awards.  But will you go to see them when they're up against sequels to "Alien vs. Predator" and "National Treasure"?

Oh, YOU will, but what about all those other idiots?

As usual, some of the films listed are platforming and haven't arrived here yet, or were test-marketed and sent directly to DVD.

Top Ten:

1.  Atonement

2.  The Kite Runner

3.  There Will Be Blood

4.  The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

5.  Juno

6.  No Country for Old Men

7.  The Lookout

8.  Michael Clayton

9.  Lars and the Real Girl

10. Golden Door

Honorable Mention (listed alphabetically):

Away from Her

The Bourne Ultimatum

Charlie Wilson's War

Death at a Funeral

Hairspray

The Host

In the Valley of Elah

Knocked Up

Rocket Science

Shoot 'em Up

Best Foreign-Language Film: The Kite Runner

Runners-up: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Golden Door

Best Documentary Feature: Protagonist

Runners-up: The Life of Reilly, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

Best Animated Film: Ratatouille

Runners-up: The Simpsons Movie, Paprika

Best Director: Joe Wright, Atonement

Runners-up: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men; Sean Penn, Into the Wild

Best Actress: Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose

Runners-up: Julie Christie, Away from Her; Jodie Foster, The Brave One

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Runners-up: Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah; Joseph Gordon-Levitt, The Lookout

Best Supporting Actress: Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone

Runners-up: Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There; Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Runners-up: Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton; Alan Tudyk, Death at a Funeral

Best Original Screenplay: Judd Apatow, Knocked Up

Runners-up: Diablo Cody, Juno; Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl

Best Adapted Screenplay: Christopher Hampton, Atonement

Runners-up: Aaron Sorkin, Charlie Wilson's War; Sarah Polley, Away from Her

Titles I Hated to Leave Out but They Wouldn't Quite Fit: Across the Universe, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Black Book, The Bubble, For the Bible Tells Me So, The Namesake, No End in Sight, Rescue Dawn, Rendition, Sicko, Superbad

People I Hated to Leave Out but They Wouldn't Quite Fit: George Clooney, Michael Clayton; Angelina Jolie, A Mighty Heart; Ben Kingsley, You Kill Me; Sidney Lumet (director), Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; Laura Linney, The Nanny Diaries; James McAvoy, Atonement

Movie that Made Me Feel Best about Being a Human Being: Lars and the Real Girl

ROFLMAO: Death at a Funeral, Knocked Up, Superbad, Blades of Glory, Reno 911!: Miami

Best Creature Feature: The Host

Runner-up: The Mist

Breakout Actor: Justin Timberlake (Alpha Dog, Black Snake Moan, Southland Tales, Shrek the Third)

Runners-up: Homayoun Ershadi (The Kite Runner), Michael Cera (Superbad, Juno)

Breakout Actress: Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Dan in Real Life)

Runners-up: Dana Fuchs (Across the Universe), Saoirse Ronan (Atonement)

Rediscovered Geezer: Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild

Runner-up: Andy Griffith, Waitress

Unstoppable Geezer: Vanessa Redgrave (Atonement, Evening)

Runner-up: Max von Sydow (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Rush Hour 3)

Return to Form: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Runners-up: Sidney Lumet, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; Brian DePalma, Redacted

Top & Bottom: Philip Seymour Hoffman (lead in The Savages and Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; supporting in Charlie Wilson's War)

Runner-up: Tommy Lee Jones, (lead in In the Valley of Elah; supporting in No Country for Old Men)

She's Everywhere!: Margo Martindale (The Savages, Rails & Ties, Paris Je t'Aime, Rocket Science, Feast of Love, TV's The Riches)

He's Everywhere!: Terrence Howard (Pride, The Hunting Party, The Brave One, August Rush, Awake, The Perfect Holiday)

Best History Lesson: The Great Debaters

Worst History Lesson: 300

A Nine-year Break Can Be Healthy: Tamara Jenkins, The Savages

A Ten-Year Break Can Be Deadly: Francis Ford Coppola, Youth Without Youth

Worst Daypart (Tie): Night (We Own the Night, 30 Days of Night); Evening (Evening, Starting Out in the Evening)

If I Go Down I'm Taking the Picture with Me!: Robin Williams, August Rush

Runner-up: Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider

If One Line Could End a Career... (a.k.a., the No Wire Hangers Award):

"I am the super mother bug!" – Ashley Judd, Bug

Bottom Ten:

1.  Wild Hogs

2.  Romance & Cigarettes

3.  Norbit

4.  Daddy Day Care

5.  The Brothers Solomon

6.  September Dawn

7.  Georgia Rule

8.  King of California

9.  In the Land of Women

10. The Number 23

Dishonorable Mention (listed alphabetically):

Arthur and the Invisibles

Bella

Bug

Ghost Rider

Happily N'Ever After

Kickin' It Old Skool

License to Wed

Rails & Ties

Sleuth

We Own the Night

Blair Lesage, our still photographer, has started a MySpace page, /scarcethemovie, but at this writing is trying to find an easier way to download a couple of hundred photos with more to come.  The buzz has begun, anyway.

Gary Fischer and I have been talking about the Stockholm syndrome, in which kidnap victims come to relate to and bond with their captors.  Gary thinks his character, Wade, was originally abducted by my character, Ivan, and our relationship, not defined or explained in the script, developed from there.

He's more analytical than I am.  I just say my lines, hit my marks and try not to fall down in the snow.  (After three and a half weeks I still haven't got my "C" – for Canada – legs, but I blame the old boots Ivan has to wear.  I swear someone rubs Vaseline on the soles every night because I get better traction in my own shoes.)

This is by far the longest I've ever been away on location, and the Stockholm syndrome applies here too.  Despite being in daily telephone and e-mail contact with Atlanta, the planet Scarce feels like home and the cast and crew like family.  I know I'll suffer post-partum depression when I leave at the end of the week.

It's a light week for me.  I was originally supposed to wrap at the end of Week Three but the ever-changing schedule exploded that myth a week or two ago.  I was off yesterday, which gave my cold an opportunity to take over and turn a day off into a sick day.  I shot a few snow scenes on Monday, including one in which I lay "dead" on an outdoor chopping block in a pool of sticky "blood," wearing a thin sweater.  It's nothing compared to the guys running barefoot in their underwear but it gave me a new understanding of the word "cold," plus an acting challenge in controlling my shivering while the camera was on me.

To earn my "dialogue coach" credit I came up with a little vocal exercise to help the locals de-Canadianize their speech while playing Americans:

There's a COW on the COUCH

and a SOW in the SOUTH.

I know HOW to say HOUSE

but OW! It hurts to say OUT and ABOUT.

I should probably copyright that and sell it for a million dollars (U.S.), so remember, you read it here first.

Our 3-D sound crew (Dallas, Dustin and Derek) took a P this week: Paul.  Our boom operators seem to last as long as Spinal Tap's drummers, but it's because they all have other work commitments.

I have a light day today and a possible day off tomorrow, depending on how long it takes to film the car wreck that strands the three snowboarders near my cabin.  But the first rule of independent filmmaking is that everything takes longer than you anticipate.  (The second is that everything costs more than you anticipate.)

If it goes well we can shoot one of my two remaining big scenes tomorrow, otherwise they'll both be on Friday, followed by a race to the airport in Toronto to catch a flight home(?).  If I don't have time to wash my makeup off I'll never make it back into the U.S.

The temperature's finally above freezing, which will make leaving even more diffcult.

I have a dream!

Actually I didn't have any dreams the first week I was in Canada, but I've been pretty regular since then.  Last night I merged my Atlanta home with my current Canadian workplace in a dream with such a great concept I woke myself up to be sure I remembered it, before it had time to play out.

With apologies to Tom Stoppard's "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead," I dreamed that instead of its current screenplay "Scarce" was a revisionist version of "Gone with the Wind," focusing on two minor characters from the original, the cannibals Ivan (played by yours truly) and Wade (Gary Fischer).  Hey, it was a dream, OK?

It was hard to feel the love on the "Scarce" set on Valentine's Day.  The day started with the back window being accidentally broken out of the truck that brings the cast and crew up the steep, icy driveway to the cabin where we do most of our filming, and ended with disgruntled crew members balking at staying five extra minutes to complete a shot.

Anyone who's ever worked on an independent film (or most studio films) knows how patience wears thin at a certain point.  We reached that point yesterday, which also happened to be the coldest day of the year; and when it's cold in Canada it's really cold.

They sent for me at the last minute to shoot a sunset scene and I practically had to run up the driveway, since the truck was out being repaired.  Although I was there in plenty of time, by the time they were ready to shoot the sun, already at the horizon, ducked behind a cloud on cue at the call of "Action!"

Today seems to be going better.  We shot a big scene in which Trevor (Jesse Cook, who's also one of the producer-director-writers) is hung upside down by his ankles, bled and gutted – nearly naked outdoors in freezing weather.  Cook found the scene easier to write than to perform but was happy when it went well.

His filmmaking partner, John Geddes, who has more than his share of grueling scenes in this horror opus, seemed jealous about being left out of this one.  While the scene was being set up he kept volunteering to get hung up to test the apparatus.

At night Gary and I ate what were supposedly Trevor's remains, licking our lips and being thoroughly disgusting, followed by my last shot in the film, where Gary discovers my dead body.  It was the third time I had to get stage blood all over my face and neck for a portion of that scene, but it's one of my last times to come in contact with that sticky corn syrup mix on this shoot.

According to the current schedule I'll be needed as an actor on Monday and Thursday of Week Four, and as a dialogue coach on Tuesday, to be sure no Canadianisms slip out, eh?

In case you think God has no sense of humor, I've been offered a week's Caribbean cruise departing the day after I get home.  There's nothing I'd like more after a month in Canada – except maybe another month in Canada – but I can't put the rest of my life on hold for another week to go.

Tomorrow we're outside in the mountains all day filming a chase scene.  It's supposed to be a relatively warm winter day, but most of our locations are out of the sun.

It seems like "a cold winter day in Canada" should be as redundant as "a hot summer day in hell," but it turns out to be a relative thing.  When we arrived this morning we were told that because the temperature was -30 (that's Celsius, but still cold) the shooting schedule for "Scarce" had been revised.  We'll wait until Friday, when it's supposed to be barely below zero, to shoot the remaining scenes of John Geddes and Thom Webb running through the snow barefoot in their underwear, with Gary Fischer and me chasing them and shooting at them.

We filmed some of those yesterday, when it was only about -10.  Geddes' co-writer-director-producer Jesse Cook, our first victim in the movie, also got chased through the snow in bare feet.  The gruesome prosthetic on his back, where we had supposedly already sampled a big chunk of flesh, didn't help to keep him warm.

It was sunny yesterday, except when we were ready to shoot and a cloud would delay us, and not bad for filming winter scenes outdoors.  Easy for me to say when I was dressed for the weather (in Ivan's big black coat that makes me feel like Neo in "The Matrix") and could run indoors between shots, unlike most of the crew, who were stuck out there all day.  But they're Canadians, eh?

The big scene yesterday, at least in terms of spectator interest among the cast and crew, was the cameo by Leigh Nash, Cook's fiancee and an all-around key person whose listing as Craft/Runner on the crew list doesn't begin to describe her usefulness.  (Assistant Production Manager would begin to.)  She appears in a flashback sequence as one of our earlier victims, running through the snow in nothing but bra and panties.

Not just "running through the snow."  In the brief scene she runs, falls, staggers and crawls through the snow, screaming all the time.  If Jamie Lee Curtis was the "Scream Queen," Leigh will have to be the "Snow Queen."  This shot has to find its way to YouTube!

The filmmakers think these authentic barefoot snow scenes will help sell the movie, so they're suffering for commerce as well as art.  Time will tell, but in the meantime they're learning the hard way why no one has done it before.

So goes life on what I've dubbed "The Planet Scarce," our mildly dysfunctional but hard-working family.  I've got the morning off while the others are shooting outdoor scenes in which they're fully dressed.

Incidentally, I've been asking people whether Canadians are offended by those of us from the U.S. referring to ourselves as "Americans," as if those who share the North American continent with us were chopped liver.  So far no one has said yes, although one thought a few other Canadians might be sensitive on that score.  I try not to offend – at least not accidentally.

Speaking of chopped liver, Gary and I have another eating scene tonight.  The Gore Brothers are cooking it now.  They said they were going to boil some steak, because it looks more disgusting that way, and leave it bloody.  I suggested injecting some bites with fake blood that could squirt out when we bite into it, and they agreed to experiment with the idea.

Did I mention that filmmakers Geddes and Cook are vegetarians?  I may be too, by the time this shoot is over.  Or maybe I'll be a real cannibal.

Thanks for the compliments on my new "headshot."  It was taken by makeup artist Charis Chattell, showing off her handiwork.

And since this may be my last chance to blog this week, a warm and happy Valentine's Day to all!

Well, it's Super Bowl Sunday, or as I call it, February 4^th.  Time to review lines for the remaining scenes, although I'll be able to focus better when I find out which ones we're shooting tomorrow.

Gary Fischer, my co-cannibal has turned out to be more competition than I expected in the creepiness department.  Should have known.  With his background in children's theater he just has to take it to the next level – and the Gore Brothers have given him a great scar that does some of the work for him.  It's certainly better than working with an actor who gives you nothing in return.

Spent much of Saturday exploring Collingwood, Ontario, a 15-dollar (Canadian) cab ride from the lodge.  "The first downtown in Canada to be designated historic by the federal government," it's one of those towns that time forgot, not exactly hopping on a Saturday afternoon.

Off the beaten path (and speaking of paths, Collingwood has an extensive network of trails for outdoor activities: www.collingwoodtrails.ca) is the Station, a "Welcome Centre...designed in the spirit of the 1873 rail station."  Opened in 1998 it contains a museum and archive, brochures about everything in the area, and was the only place I found to buy postcards.  In the half-hour or so I spend browsing, shopping and resting, I see no one but the two women who work there.

Quaint used book stores have little or no business, while bigger clothing stores, cafes and a huge supermarket are somewhat busier – yet with enough staff that there's no waiting to check out at the market.

Prices, even allowing for the 15 percent difference from U.S. dollars, seem high on many items - $4.19 for a half-gallon of milk – but I'm shocked to see regular and organic bananas selling for the same price: 59 cents/pound.

I had thought bilingualism was only required in Quebec but it's nationwide, so every item in the store is labeled in English and French.  In some cases the languages are side by side but on other products the English label is duplicated in French on the other side.  I stare at a few cereal boxes, trying to interpret the photos when I can't translate, before realizing I only have to flip them over.

I stock up for breakfasts and the occasional dinner on days I'm released early and take a cab back to the lodge with a friendly driver (I'm convinced "friendly Canadian" is redundant).  When he learns I'm here making a film (and his interrogation techniques would be more effective than torture at Guantanamo) he suggests we add a part for "a cab driver in a brown hat" (such as the distinctive one he's wearing).

I go along with the joke: "It's a great idea, but I don't know where we'd ever find one."

Like everyone in Collingwood he has memories of the last big movie that filmed here, Renny Harlin's "The Long Kiss Goodnight," for which they closed off and redecorated the main drag, Hurontario Street, and used 600 local extras in one scene.

Hearing more about "Scarce" he makes a mental note to watch for it, although his wife is more into horror films than he is.

Back in my warm room I spend a big Saturday night watching a heavy snow fall and blow around.  The "Scarce" crew had done some filming in just such a storm after I left on Friday.  Technical problems made them work late for the first time all week and rendered the soundtrack unusable, despite the hours a sound man spent in the trunk of a car recording the dialogue.  "No worries," as they say a lot here.  It's Canadian for "We'll fix it in post."

It's back to light flurries under heavy cloud cover today, and time to head for the lobby to post my blog, assuming the wireless there works better than the dial-up service in the suite.

Time flies when you're making a movie, eh?  Day Five/Week One is over, at least for me.  This morning we shot the scene with my favorite speech.  I needed some quick basic retraining when they decided to have me use a rifle in the scene.  I thought I'd have a little time with the gun wrangler before the hunting scenes, but it worked out.  I creeped myself out with my delivery.

With a few minutes to check e-mail I read that USAirways had withdrawn their offer for Delta.  I guess they were afraid of having their luggage lost too.  Sorry, "delayed."

I was on the set most of the last two days (12-hour days, plus an hour for lunch and dinner at the end), and got to see some of the dailies (shot on Super 16 and transferred to digital for editing), which look awesome.  It's funny how pissed off everybody is at the D.P. (John Lesavage) all day when he's being finicky about lighting and camera placement, and how he becomes a hero when they see the result of his work.

Got some good news yesterday.  The lawyer said my salary wasn't high enough to require Canadian withholding.  I don't know if that means I'll have to file Canadian taxes at the end of the year and pay the 23 percent then or what.

The best assistance I've ever had in understanding a character came about completely by accident.  Last Sunday, the morning after my arrival, I went to a buffet breakfast at the ski lodge where the film company's housing me.  There I was able to observe a group of snowboarders, exactly the kind of young men my character, Ivan, tortures and eats in "Scarce."  They were easy to observe because I, being older, was invisible to them.  (Ironically, one was wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with The Who, a band of "M-m-m-m-my Generation.")  Watching them, I began to understand how Ivan could see them as useless for anything but food.

I start each day of the shoot having my teeth painted a hideous brownish-yellow by one of "The Gore Brothers," our special effects makeup guys who also made some of the disgusting prosthetics and edible props.  A local dentist, one of the film's investors, had molded acrylic tooth coverings for us cannibals, but we weren't able to talk normally with them in place.

Yesterday I got to pour some of the Gores' "meat juice" on two of my victims, Thom Webb and writer-director John Geddes.  These two guys spent a large part of Week One in their underwear suspended from pipes they were chained to in our cold dungeon set, frequently being brutalized.

I've got to hand it to Geddes (when I'm not throwing it at him).  He's the epitome of a leader who wouldn't ask his troops to do anything he wouldn't do himself.  Watching him hanging there, shivering and in real pain, I felt sorry for him but thought of a couple of directors I'd pay to see in a similar situation.

This production has at least three Johns, three Jeffs, two Jasons, a Jesse, a Jackie, a Josh and a Jake (Jacob).  And speaking of J's – but that's a subject for a more private blog.

For all the advance planning a lot of things change every day.  The remaining schedule will be reworked over the weekend.  Apparently the new plan is to shoot the remaining interiors next week and save the exteriors for the following week, perhaps to keep everyone relatively healthy as long as possible.

As for me, I'll spend the weekend catching up on the rest of my life, exploring the nearby town, learning lines for next week and maybe watching some of the DVDs I brought along.

It's been a great first week.  If I'd known how nice Canadians are I might have dodged the draft back in the day and become one of them.  As it is I could live in Canada – if they'd move it someplace warmer.