Why is it that people take so many things for granted. I have had the very fortuitous chance to have a select group of friends that are always brutally honest with me. And i have found after needing to vent on my friend back in tullahoma that i am more and more frustrated with my relationships. It seems that i am always in the wrong and even if i am not in the wrong i feel as though i am. I asked my friend about this and he began by informing that this was the first time in a more than two months i had called him and i defensively answered that i was the proverbial BUSY. Well, as soon as i defended my actions i was engulfed in a tirade that equals the time my mom found and told my dad about finding my nudie magazines under my mattress, boy do i wish i had done my own sheets that day. Anyway my friend made me realize that though i can defend my position with Busy it may not actually be true becasue i realize how much time i spend at home either watching a movie or on the computer or reading a book. Time i could give to my friends and show them rather than tell them i am there for them. I believe i have written more than one blog on this particular subject but at the same time i must realize that multiple blogs mean that i am the worst at taking my own advice out of all. I realize i have taken advantage of the fact that i have people that love me and who want to hang out with me and be friends to me all of the time. But i have not been doing what i can to be there for them all of the time and now realize that i have in a sensed shunned or otherwise pushed them away. For this i am indescribably sorry, and hope that all can forgive me...

I love everyone who decides to read this and most especially my close friends...

Ramen

While walking down this road of life i find that many people are far more near sighted than they are known to be. I walk down this road of life and am driven to look down the road and see what is coming towards me, and wonder what i can do to make these things more bearable for myself. Or rather i look and find the best path that will allow me to as it is said "roll with the punches." And i wonder when i talk to friends and family about what i would like to do in the future they continually advise me to look closer the the present time and figure out everythings else between now and then, but i submit that when we lok into the future and make a goal and then look close to home to see what we are to do in the next day or two we oft times lose sight of the goal for which we orginally set ourselves. I urge all of my friends and family to look to the future look down the road see the hills and valleys and twists and turns rather than staring at the dash and keeping your eye on the speedometer or the hood of your car look to the future and see what is coming...

I love everyone whos takes the time to read this...

Ramen

People... There are so many people in this world is it so hard to find and make new friends if you move away. When you move from one place to another and make friends in both places why is it so hard to leave one group for another. If you have friends in your home town, that have been friends for years through thick and thin through you're good moods and bad through all times when you grow into new and different personalities when you're in an immature mood when you piss each other off and soon it all blows over, is it wrong to go back to those friends and leave the new friends that could turn into the friends that have been there for you through all this stuff. There comes a point where your own thoughts anf feelings get lost in the thoughts and of your friends and when you speak of going home they continually rationalize with you that going home is a bad idea. When you hear this enough you start to doubt yourself in moving back home even if it might be the best idea. If you can move home and have property that you dont have to pay for and a place to stay then why would you not move back. i think that it is in part because your friends say its a bad idea. I have been put in this position i have the opportunity to go home and have land as soon as i get there without having to buy it there will be land ready for me to build on or just to live on the way it is now. I have contemplated many times moving back home with the spoils i have worked here in JC and starting my work down there, but every time i discuss this with one of my friends i am dissuaded and decide it might be best to stay in JC because they want me to stay. The biggest problem with this is that my friends that i have made from year to year change my freshman year i had these certain friends and only one of which i still have sophmore year i made different friends of which after one summer i've lost near eighty percent of so i have friends and friends so close as to be family here in JC, but an hour away i have more family like friends than i do in JC and even more back home so why do i continue to make the decision to stay when better opportunities are elsewhere is it that i don't want to be in NC or that i don't want to be close to home and this is the best decision that will make me the happiest or is it that i just don't want to move anywhere else so much that i have no better alternative. It all boils down to the people in my life i used to have far more friends in JC than anywhere else but those times are gone, but will they com again i have no way of knowing. But if these times come again then i would have to be crazy not to stay. The whoile point of this blog was to try and show my friends and friends that have gone by the wayside friends that i have upset any friend who reads this please know that i apologize for any disgression against you and i hope you can find it to forgive me please know that you can still count on me and i will always be here to help. I love all you guys and am just in a stressful situation moving from where i am to where i'm going. I love you all and love hanging out with you and miss hanging out with those i haven't been able to recently...

Ramen 

I have heard many adages about a higher purpose. Many from pious people who think that because they go to church every Sunday and Wednesday night they are better people. But I tell these people and myself and anyone who thinks this is true to take a good look at you. To this point I have lived my life in two very different phases. One was before I began thinking for myself. I blame no one but myself for this because I didn't take the time to think about how I was living my life. I was the person that thought I was better and was above others, and thought that I could just coast through life because I was a Christian that went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, but that's where it ended. I don't mean to say I was necessarily you big drunk and druggie or anything like that but, I felt like I didn't need to help the people that I saw every day and figured were beyond help. I lived this way because that's what I saw in people around me. Unless someone seemed like they were at least semi Christian most people in my church decided it was below them to help. That is so then what I figured and I rationalized that by saying that if people see my around these people all the time I will be associated with them. So I figured keep my Christian images up than risk to risk it. Then I moved away and figured out that the people you think and lowly and beyond help and people you don't want to be associated with are exactly the people you need to help. Whereas most of my life I thought that my higher purpose was something beyond this world beyond the grasp of this lifetime then I came across a quote that opened my eyes to the truth. "To strive for honor is the highest purpose you can pursue - Aristotle," when I heard this quote I understood a higher purpose does not lie with God or Allah or Buddha or any god or deity. The honor I speak of is not the honor of an Emmy or the Olympics or anything manmade achievement. The higher purpose of honor is to seek to be, as Tim McGraw said, a friend a friend would like to have. Someone that no one has grudges against because as soon as they are crossed by you they forgive you because they know it is an accident or a slip of the mind or tongue, and nothing more. I urge everyone including myself that we all reach for this higher purpose. For in doing so you will maintain and achieve all the religious or dogmatic purposes that you can find. So again I urge all people to strive to achieve what Aristotle considered the highest purpose to strive for and hopefully achieve honor.

I'm so tired of people thinking that when i try to help to help people i always am looking for me. I have recently been threatened and chewed up one side and down the other for trying to help my friends. I'll start witha  story about a girl that trusts me and relys on my counsel in many situations. I called her a couple fo days agoa nd she seemed bothered. As i was heading to work i could not talk for long but decided to call her back later that evening. So i did come to find out as is any girl that wants to talk to me she was having major boy problems. After listening to what she had to say for a while i had to stop her because she was in a relationship she didn't want to be in, but she didn't want to hurt the guy she was with. Why do we try to make the world happy there is no reason for us to make all of humanity happy when we end up carrying all of man's burdens on our shoulders. The first point i wish to make is we can only make others truly happy when we ourselves are happy. Sadness and weariness are just as contagious and and happiness one can have. So in the stead of sadnes lets infect the world with happiness. And to those that might be hurt by my advice to my friends do not take offense i have never given someone advice in my own interests if i did so this would be a total hypocrasy to what i stand for i am here to help my friends understand that to make others happy you must be happy and only we can get in the way of our own happiness. So long story short don't let yourself get in the way of your own happiness friends will be friends and if you lose a friend through a tough decision they were not a true blue friend to begin with.

To all my friends i am here to talk to whenever you need me and i love you all dearly,

RAMEN

P.S. My cell is the best way to get ahold of me text or call when you need me if you dont have my number send me a message and i'll give it to you...

To all my friends I love you all...

RAMEN

Sorry i haven't written in a while, but tonight i have a good message for everyone. So i occasionally can be caught watching Animal Planet i love animals and love to watch documentaries on them. Well earlier tonight i was watching a show about a family of cheetahs. The mother was a first time mother and she had seven kittens, or cubs whatever. Well the mother was having trouble keeping all the cubs fed and as a result she lost three and was left to care for four cubs. Again she was having trouble killing enough prey to feed  her cubs. She finally decides to risk everything on taking down the only food available a wildebeast. Wildebeast are about three times the size of a cheetah so the chances of bringing a wildebeast down are slim. Not only does she not take the wildebeast down she gets hurt. Her leg gets messed up really badly in the tussel. Well for a cheetah that is a death sentence because they rely on their speed to hunt. The mother cheetah retreats to a bush where she lies with regal patience her irrevocable fate. And that leaves her cubs out and on their own long before they are ready to leave their mothers side. The mother against all odds survives with the help of some local park rangers. The cubs are never located. Once the mother is back in good health she is released and takes back to the savannah like she had never left. And once again against all odds she finds one last cub and they stay together and survive to breed again. Now that story may have little meaning to people who don't care for animals. But if you are reading my blog i would assume that you care for me. Here's my story. When my mother found out she was pregnant with me there was elation the second of a family with three kids. Then as she reached the end of her first trimester i was ready to be born. She went into labor with me at three months. Then she began to take medications that would stop the labor process, these drugs worked well enough for three months or so. Then she was put on bed rest for two months and didn't leave her hospital room for that two months of her own voilition. At eight months i was born into a hospital with few Prenatal accomadations. The odds that i would survive the period of time while she was on the medications was slim. the odds that i would be born still born were sky high, the odds i would be born without any defects were very slim. The odds that i survive my time in the hospital and the first couple of weeks out of the hospital i bet you guessed it very slim. The chances that i would be born with three semicommon birth defects were far more likely than me surviving much less with no birth defects. so what do i wish to accomplish by telling these stories i dont want your sympathy i dont want to be looked at as some miracle. I am Andrew or Ramen or Andyroo or Dickless or Seahorse the name doesn't matter what matters is who it refers to and thats me. But i am only who i am because i dont worry about what can happen in twenty years or much less a few hours from now i live my life for now and i live my life without calculating the risks. I take a risk everytime i get out of bed that something can happen. I might as well live like it. So my message to all of you is take the risk see what happens sometimes you get hurt sometimes something horrible happens, but the ones you'll remember are the times that taking the risk paid off so go for that Wildebeast or simply don't give in to what people say might happen because if you do you may regret it. And there is no life worth living full of regrets. We are here to live not to exist.

So live...

I Love you all...

Andyroo, Ramen, Seahorse whatever you want to call me...   

Everyone in life is put there for a reason. This is what i believe and hold to be slef eveident in everyday life if we just take time to look around and see where the people fit into our lives. I have recently been going through some very hard times with relationships, money, college and just life in general. I am writing this blog tonight for one reasone alone and that is thank the people that, whether they realize it or not, have helped  me in these times of hardship. Firstly i would liek to thank my best friend in the entire world. Courtney Cox courtney you have been there for me not matter how bad i'm feeling no matter how ornory i am or how much of an ass i am you have always been ther to say the right thing at the right time. Mikey you have no clue how much i appreciate everything that you have done for me you have also been there more than i can think about giving me  aplace to feel welcome and safe ans secure. Next James i know James doesn't get on here much but he is the one thing that has kept me from going berserk on everyone that crosses my path. James thank you for listening and i hope that i can someday help you as you have helped me. Camiren this is probably the last thing you want to see or read right now and i just want to say as i have told you already you are still my firiend and i am still here for you. You have always held a special place in my heart and you always will and i appreiciate you for helping me to see the brightest side of every situation. Loser face thank you for always being there to make me smile with exactly the right words. And Happy Birthday eleven minutes ago. Lastly i thank Brittany. You were there for me i never looked at it the right way i saw just another person. Only when i started thinking did i realize that whether or not i still hold this position in your life it meant more to me that you called me your strong tower. That is the one thing i wish all of my friends could say about me and yet as much as i strive to be that person you are the only one that gave me what i needed. You alone have made me feel as though my lifestyle is worth something. So many people have taken the kindness i try to offer and to tell me you appreciate it means more than you know. I apologize for letting you down i have not been able to keep my head clear for the past couple of weeks and i hope and pray that you will call me when you need help or if you just need someone to listen or if you just want to call please do you are stil beautiful and i still love you...

Courtney you're so true and loyal, and quite possibly the best friend i've ever had thank you for everything you have done for me...

Mikey you're always there with everything you have to give to help a friend...

Camiren though we've had our altercations you're still close to my heart...

Loser Face you mean more to me than you know and i hope one day i can show you how much...

Brittany you're still beautiful and also very close to my heart where you will remain whether you like it or not...

To my friends I love you...

ANDYROO

Madea Goes to Jail. I have been introduced to probably one of the most amazing movies ever tonight. IN this movie are a million tips on life far too many for me to ever right about, but one i can write about is friends. Madea is talking about friends and Loves that enter our lives. She speaks of the times when someone comes into your life they can be three types of friends or acquaintances. First she explains that everyone is their own tree and that we all need support and friends to keep us standing tall. Some friends we meet are like the leaves of our tree thay are hear and do very little as far as helping us is concerned so we have alot of these friends one's that are here for a season and then gone. Then there are the branches these friends can fool you they are strong and they remain beside us. But then yo will start to count on them and once you put your weight on themthey break and leave you on the ground. The you've friends that will always be there for you. They are the roots of your tree they keep you grounded and always try to do as much for you as you do for them and you trust on them night and day to keep you standing. It is important in life to find those root friends. You can have a million leaves but when winter comes you are alone. You can have a million branches and they fall off or just aren't strong enough to hold you when you need it the most, but just a few roots will keep the tallest tree from falling. Look for those people who are here to be our roots and be careful not to sever your roots because once they are severed you must begin all over again and start from a little baby tree struggling to break through the soil. Keep you friends close and never forget that your true friends will always love you and do all they can when you call...

Andyroo