DARLA MAXWELL

I know this is not the time to be thinking about a man, but damn, he's fine. He had to be in his late forties, early fifties. He has a perfectly shaved bald head. He had big, pretty eyes with the curliest eyelashes. He has that middle age spread going on, but looks like he keeps himself in good shape. I wonder how big his dick is. It looks like he bangs the fuck out of his wife, lucky her. I can't remember when the last was that I got some dick.

Marla putting her hand on my shoulder startled me back to the task at hand. "Mom, I'm leaving. What hospital are you going to? Is Aunt Georgia still on the phone?"

"Hello. Aunt Georgia, are you still there?" I had completely forgotten she was on hold.

"I'm still here. What hospital are you going to?"

"Beaumont in Royal Oak," the paramedic interjected, walking back into the bathroom.

"They are taking her to Beaumont in Royal Oak."

"Okay. I'll going to call your mother, have her bring me down."

"I'll see you at the hospital."

"Bye, baby," she said and hung up the phone.

"I'm leaving, Mom," Marla said as I turned off the phone and placed it on the bathroom counter.

I kissed her on the cheek. "Drive carefully, baby. Thank you for watching Kirkland. I love you."

"I love you, too." She returned my kiss with a kiss on the cheek, pulled away and walked out of the house.

"Are you riding with her to the hospital?" Mr. Paramedic asked as they moved Jess from the bathroom toward the door.

"Yes I am," I said, turning off the lights, grabbed my purse and the overnight bag from the floor and following them out of the front door.

Mr. Paramedic rode in the back with Jess and I. My cousin is lying here at death's door and the only thing on my mind is fucking this man.

"How is she doing?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"She's stable. Is she your sister?" He wrote on what I assumed was her chart attached to a clipboard.

"No, she's my cousin. She has cancer. Her doctor told her it had spread throughout her body. I guess she didn't want to go through the suffering. I knew something was wrong when I talked with her this morning. I just couldn't put my finger on it. By the way, I'm Darla."

"I'm Hector." I loved the way his voice sound. He got that Barry White sound going on. A familiar scent was in the air. I recognized the scent, but what it was escaped me. I wasn't sure if it was cologne or not. I was wearing Eternity, but that wasn't it. It was coming from Hector.

"What type of cologne are you wearing?"

"Jazz. Why?" He flashed me his pearly whites.

"I knew the scent. I just couldn't think of the name of it."

"You're wearing Eternity, my favorite." His teeth was so perfect and white, I wonder if they're all his or not. The sound of the radio interrupted what had just become a very awkward moment for the both of us. I picked up Jess' hand and placed it in my mine, giving her my full, undivided attention. This was the longest seven minutes in my life.

Hector was by my side and help with the forms after we had arrived at the hospital. I was glad to have his manly presence. I assumed he sensed I was more fragile than I wanted people to believe. His manly presence of being a protector is what I needed and Hector gave it to me. It was as if we had been together since the beginning of time and fit together so perfectly. Right before Aunt Georgia and Mother arrived, he left. I was feeling like a little silly schoolgirl. I didn't want him to go, and I knew if was impossible for him to stay, but that didn't make a difference. Here I am confusing something I wanted with something I needed. I needed to be strong for my family right now.

I noticed my mother and Aunt Georgia rushing down the hall.

"Where is she?" Aunt Georgia asked out of breath as he walked up to me.

"They're pumping her stomach," I said, grabbing her hands.

"What happen?" My mother asked.

"She took an overdose of pills," I replied.

"Don't get snappy with me," my mother said.

"Savannah, calm down." Aunt Georgia turned and headed in the direction of the nurse's station. "Excuse, I want to find out about my daughter, Jessica Anderson. I'm her mother, Georgia Anderson."

The lady ignored her.

Aunt Georgia waited a couple of seconds before she spoke again. "Excuse, I want to find out some information on my daughter, Jessica Anderson."

She continued to ignore her.

Aunt Georgia turned and walked behind the desk. Mother and I instantly went after her.

"Aunt Georgia, no!" I shouted as the other nurses stepped in between her and the clerk.

"The next time somebody is speaking to your little nappy-head ass, you need to pay attention!" Aunt Georgia screamed at the clerk. "Now, I need some information on my daughter, Jessica Anderson."

The staff stood there in shock. From their facial expressions, they understood the emotion she had. The clerk immediately got up from her seat, pulled Jess' chart and handed it to the nurse.

"Thank you." Aunt Georgia turned her attention to the nurse.

"Hello, Ms. Anderson. I'm Maxine, your daughter's nurse. Let's go and sit down."

Aunt Georgia complied as the nurse escorted her too the family waiting room. At the same time, the doctor was walking down the hall to talk with us.

As they explain Jess's condition, my mind drifted to Hector, hoping he will keep the piece of paper with my phone number I clipped to his clipboard.

Hey Everyone,

It's been a minute before many of you have heard from me.  Life has been keeping me busy with all of its challenges and obstacles. Now I'm back on the scene with full force and steam. For those who have continuously asked me when will my second novel be released, it's finally here!  Jessica's Family Affair, the sequel to Moments in the Life, was released as an e-book in June.  The print version will be released in September.  Both are available through http://mojocastle.com/.   Also, check out my interview on http://www.glbtpromo.com.

That's it for now. I look forward to hearing from you! Hit me up at timothydkelley1029@yahoo.com.

Much Love,

Timothy D.

What's done in the dark will come to the light.

I know it’s been a while since I have posted on my blogs.  Sometimes life throw you a curve ball and you have to muster up all the strength you have to knock the ball out the park. I thought I had finally got my around to home plate, only to be stopped at third base.  What I’m about to tell you is something of importance to everyone.

I moved to Las Vegas on February 11, 2006 (the day my mother remarried).  My mother told me I was turning 40 in 2007 and I was not getting any younger so I needed to settle down in one place.  As usual she was right. So I decided to invest some time here.  After a few months I begin to have what I thought was a big medical issue. I notice my stomach would expand. I’ve never been one of those persons who hung in the gym and develop a body like LL Cool J, but I had to admit I look decent for my age. So when my stomach decided to tell me I was getting fat I went crazy. After eating certain foods, my stomach would expand, and I do mean expand. It got to the point the women I worked with told me I looked like I was six or seven months pregnant. And you know what, I felt like. I literally had to ease down in the chair to sit down. To get up I would have to scoot to edge of the chair and grab hold of the arms to force myself up. I had enough. So I went to the doctor and of course they found nothing. But I knew something was there. To put my mind at ease they scheduled me for a gastrointestinal test and of course they found nothing.  In the beginning of 2007 I had a colonoscopy and once again they found nothing. I finally realize I was getting fat and I needed to do something about. So I joined LA Weight Loss and got rid of the extra weight, and no more stomach problems.  Let’s fast forward to Wednesday, February 27^th.

I came home from work as usual and fell into my normal routine. Friday morning I got up and turn on the TV to listen to the news while I got ready for work. As I was walking into the bathroom, they were talking about a health scare in Las Vegas. My thoughts were they were talking about the man who had come into contact with ricin and was still in a coma. As the day with on it was something totally different that would have an impact on my life forever. A clinic in the Valley had been reusing syringes and vials on people from March 2004 to January 2008 and possibly 40,000 people could be infected with Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C and HIV. At that time there were only six confirm cases. They were urged to get tested. My first question was in this day and age why would someone do this? I found the answer to my question the next day they were trying to save money. So to save a penny they endangered people lives.  After I found the name of the clinic I was relieved, it wasn’t the only I went to. My relief was turned into fear on Monday.

On Monday four additional clinics owned by the same group of doctors were closed. Although they did not have proof that they reused syringes, it was confirmed that the vials were. My clinic was named. Can you imagine if 40,000 people visited each clinic that would 200,000 people at risk, and that’s not including those who are sexually active and could have possibly spread it others.

The health department sent out letters to the 40,000 and urged them to get tested. As far the rest of us, it was reported in the newspaper that we would not be receiving letters and it was up to us to get tested especially if anesthesia was used.

Since I was a teenager and HIV first hit the scene, when have been warned to practice safe sex.  While I’m the first to admit there have been occasions that I have not, my test results have always come back negative. I have done what I need to do not stay clear of infectious diseases AND THE ONE PLACE THAT I THOUGHT WOULD DO WHAT THEY CAN TO PROTECT PUT ME IN DANGER.

I know this may seem as if I rambling, but I think is important for everyone to know:  DON’T PUT ALL YOUR TRUST IN DOCTORS!  THEY ARE HUMAN JUST AS WE ARE.  IN FACT THERE ARE 13 MORE CLINICS AROUND THE STATE OF NEVADA THAT HAVE BEEN CITED FOR THE SAME PRACTICE AND AS OF TODAY 100 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN INFECTED WITH AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE.

I have an appointment next week with my doctor for my blood test. I pray everything comes out ok. If not, it’s something that I have to live and change will have to occur in my life.  I don’t want to give up sex (it’s a great stress reliever. J)

To find out more information go to www.lvrj.com

Remember the motto:  "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" is not necessarily true.

Much Love,

Timothy D.

Ok I wrote this sometime ago, but because my computer decide to die and the craziness of putting it in the shop (I am sure some of you know what I am talking about), I am posting it a little late.

I spent Mother's Day weekend in New Orleans attending the Saints and Sinners Literary Festival. I will always cherish the experience. Saints and Sinners provided with the opportunity to network with people who read in the same genre as I, GLBT. I believe the most memorable experience I had was meeting Wonder Woman, one of my childhood icons. Elizabeth Whitney does a one-woman show that is out of this world. She and her partner, Max (Hi Max!) are involved in a research project called Miscegenation. Check out their website http://www.miscegenations.com/. Although I personally am not involved in an interracial relationship, I feel it is a project I would like to be involved with.

I also had an experience at the infamous Rawhide. I went on Thursday night, which happens to be their Black Out party, and boy what an experience. I was walking into forbidden darkness, cautious of where I was going. I felt something poke me in the side, and stumbled into the pool table, interrupting a gangbang on the pool. I realize this was not for me and quickly left.

It was good to see some old friends, Jolie Du Pre (watch out for our m/m and f/f novel, coming this fall), Laura Baumbach (the Queen of Man Love Romance), Kathleen Bradean, Deana (the awesome graphic artist), and meeting some new friends, Phil Michal Thomas (not the actor) Gavin, Renee George (and her sister Robbin), Amiee Evans, and the list goes on.

I participated in a reading from my novel, Moments in the Life. If you get a chance, read the work of Faye Jacobs. She is an excellent reader. Her memoirs makes me want to go and visit Delaware's only gay resort city.

Many of us have seen the movie "Birdcage". Well I have a couple who one definitely the modern day couple. They hosted the opening reception in their home, and boy what a home it is.

One of the highlights was meeting Paul J. Willis, the Executive Director of the festival. I hope next year to be more involved and I encourage you to attend as well. http://www.sasfest.org/

On another note, seeing first hand the effects of Hurricane Katrina, it makes me sad to say I am a citizen of the United States. If everyone would take a weekend of their lives and participate in helping rebuild the city, it would not take to long. The amount of crime has increased, and it is because people are doing what they can to survive. I am looking into seeing how I can become more involved, not simply by contributing money, but actually getting my hands dirty (and those who know me know manual labor is not my thing). I encourage and invite each of you as well to get involved. We have to remember they are citizens of "the land of the free and the home of the brave."

Since I am running way behind schedule (deadlines are now my best friend) I have to cut it short.

BTW, check out the pictures of New Orleans.

Much Love,

Timothy D.

Here are the rules:

1.         Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

2.         People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

3.         At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

Eight Random Things About Me

1.                  One of my favorite past times is cooking, which has become a problem for my weight.

2.                  I am a quiet person, with a tidbit of shyness mixed in.

3.                  My biggest fears are snakes and mountains. You can't trust neither one of them with your life.

4.                  My favorite movie of all times is "Terms of Endearment". Ms. Aurora Green knew how to give her daughter drama, while at the same time banging the hell out of the retired astronaut next door.

5.                  Now Terrell Tilford could be my baby daddy.

6.                  I'm called the King of Chick Flicks.

7.                  My favorite song of all times is "Dance Turned into a Romance" by the Jones Girls.

8.                  I am a basketball fanatic. Go Pistons!

Now it's my turn to tag people. I tag James Buchanan, Zeenath, Laura Baumbach, Jackie, Naiche, Lia, JM Snyder and Relle.

TTFN

Often times we meet someone and the first question that comes to mind is this the person I am suppose to spend the rest of my life with? The majority of times we based our decisions on a person's physical appearance and how good they are bed. Afterwards we look past the physical and realize we have nothing in common, and we end up back a square one looking for that special someone.

I recently met someone online. Even though we have never met and experienced none of the physical, he captured something far more important, the mental and emotional. We talk on the phone all night, countless number of text messages all day, and the list goes on. What worries me the most is his physical needs. We all have physical needs that need to be attended to. I'm completely on the other side of the country, unable to fulfill those needs and vice versa. So what do I do? Yesterday was a perfect example. I didn't speak with him all day, and when I called his phone it went directly to voicemail. I sent a text message no response. The almighty fear pop up in my mind, he's with someone else and once again I'm left out in the cold. So what did I do? I sent this text message:  "I think its best if we part ways, not that it really matters to you. Maybe one day our paths will cross. If not, take care of yourself." How stupid could I be? Right now I'm kicking myself for making such a childish move. What right do I have to worry about something I have no control over?

So as usual when I make a dumb mistake, I talk to the one person who knows me well, my Granny. If I'm wrong, believe me she will let know. So, of course, I called her this morning. Her response was, "Timmy, I know you didn't that." She laughs. "Let me tell you something, just because things don't go your way, you quick to cut it loose. You get that honestly from your Granddaddy, God rest his soul. You need to clean up your mess. From what you told me about him, and Lawd knows he couldn't be any worse than the last one, you need to get down on your hands and knees and beg him to forgiveness. You know I don't say much about what you kids do, but if you wrong, you're wrong, and this time you're wrong." I guess I was wrong.

Did I mention I went to see a psychic and he told the person I met recently online was the one? He went into full description of the person, some of his good and strong points. The most important thing the psychic mentioned was I would try and run, but I wouldn't get far because the chemistry between the two of us was so strong and magnetic, no matter how hard you try and pull away, you'll end up right back together.

In exactly seven months from this date, I will turn the big 40 and I don't know what the hell to do. I don't necessarily want to be somewhere I'm so buzz aka drunk I don't remember a damn thing.

I would like to celebrate my birthday with my best friend, Oscar, who is no longer here with us. He died a little over a month ago. We were supposed to plan our fortieth birthday party together. Our birthdays are two weeks apart, me being the oldest. We were going to pull out all of the stops. The last time I talked to him was on his birthday. After that, he wouldn't answer any of my calls. I talked with his partner a few times, but not Oscar. It hurts me that he would thing I would just walk out of his life. We have been friends for over fifteen years. Even though I moved away, doesn't mean I moved out of his life. I have witness how some so-called friends who turn their backs on a person when they need them the most. Sad to say I'm one of those who have done it. The guilt I carried around from being so cruel and heartless is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. Rest In Peace My Hispanic Sister. Love you always, Sister Queen B.

Then there's the idea of taking a cruise. I have two options. I could go on a cruise with some high school mates who are likewise turning forty or go a cruise with a GLBT group. Let me sit back and weigh the pros and cons for a second. Being with people who shared those "you smelling yo'self" years with celebrating the real "I'm an adult I can do what I want" milestone could be fun. The con is when the men are looking above the waist at some woman's boobs, I'm going be looking at the man getting out the pool in his Speedo to see what he's packing. To prevent World War III from happening in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I'm going to keep my ass off the ship! The pro with going with a GLBT group is I would be with people who share the same lifestyle. The con is all the men are going to be looking at the same pair of Speedo and that would present a problem. So once again, to prevent World War III from happening in the middle of the Panama Canal, I'm going to keep my ass off the ship!

What I really want is to have a Vernors glazed ham, decorated with cherries and pineapple rings held in place by cloves. After I let the slice pieces linger in the glaze, I can't wait to take the first bite. As my mouth's palate savors the sweet honey taste, my sugar is going sky high and at the same time the salt from the succulent ham, is knocking my pressure through the roof. I guess the older I get the more I need to pay attention to my diet. Oh, I won't mention my mustard and turnip greens or collard and cabbage laced with all kinds of salt pork, ham hocks and fatback. Not to mention my Granny's dressing with some Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce in the red can, not the Whole Cranberry Sauce in the blue can. I can smell my Great Aunt's candied yams. I love to get a piece of white bread and soak up "the candied yams juice" as I called it, most definitely an artery hardener. My Mother's macaroni and cheese, made with five differently cheeses that will stop me up for the next five days. I think I'll pass.

So it looks like I have no clue what to do for my birthday. I know the first I'm going to do no matter what I plan, is give God praise for allowing me to see another day of life. With that said, any suggestions?

I went to ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Virginia Beach a couple of weeks ago for a literary conference and a book signing. All and all I had a good. I'm with a co-op of m/m fiction writers called Man Love Romance (we pulled our resources together and advertise in markets that we otherwise couldn't afford individually). Having been together less than nine months, we are making progress in the literary world. Many conferences shy away from allowing GLBT to partake in events. I'm happy to say we are breaking down that wall. This was evident in Virginia. I sat on a panel with seven women, six who write m/m fiction and one who write f/f fiction. We each had a topic we choose to discuss, and my topic was "Reaching Your Target Audience". As I listened to everyone speak, I wasn't amaze how many women write m/m erotica, but what did amaze me how their writing is targeted for straight women, while I targeted gay men. It was a very enlightening experience.

Saturday morning, I had an opportunity to meet with an editor, who publishes primarily ebooks (for those of you who don't know what an ebook is, it's a book that's is bought online and downloaded to a readable device and the price is normally the cost of a paperback book), to pitch my second manuscript, "Jessica's Family Affair". I was pleased when she as for my entire manuscript to read. (Normally if you do a good pitch, editors only want to receive the first three chapters). Three days after I returned home, I was offer a contract. So look out for "Jessica's Family Affair" coming sometime in 2007.

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I also met a person who I have talked with online over the past year. She writes f/f fiction. I ask her to co-write my third novel, "The Marriage of a Man and a Woman". Her name is Jolie Du Pre. Look for it between late 2007 and 2008.

Of course, a trip is not a trip without having some type of mishap. Friday night I went to the bar across the street from the hotel, "The Raven". I was sitting a table with a few writers, Sabrina, Alessia, Eliza, etc. Alessia told us story about a airport mishap she had. It was quite funny and I told her I was going to write it in my blog, from one of my character's point of view. Who knew the same thing would happen to me.

Saturday night was the award's banquet and afterwards a 80s party. Needless to say we partied and at the same forgot about the time change. So when I went to bed at what I thought was three o'clock it was actually four o'clock. To top it off my body had not adjusted to the three hours time difference. Anyway, I rushed to pack up my things, throwing things in the suitcase anyway possible. When I reached the airport, I checked my luggage with the skycap and walked in. Since I had a couple of hours before I left, I decided not to go through security. I sat in the corridor and talked on the phone with a couple of people until it got closer to my departure time. What would we do without cell phones?

I walked up to the security checkpoint and proceeded to follow my normal ritual of taking off my shoes, my laptop out of the bag and placing them into the tray. I walked through the metal detector without a problem. It was taking them an awful long time to screen my backpack. Eventually it went through the camera and the guard took the bag. As he rambled through it, he pulled out one of my toys. The expression on his face was priceless. His brown skin turned to the color of a deep purple plumb. I looked at him and said with a straight face, "I believe in practicing sex safe." He quickly dropped my ten inches long, three inches round toy, in my bag and handed it to me. I know how Alessia felt. I wasn't a shame or embarrassed. If you haven't seen a dick before in your, oh well your lost not mine.

As always if you enjoy what you read, tell a friend. If you hated it tell an enemy. Hell, just tell someone.

Much Love,

Timothy D.

I hope you enjoy playing as much as I do!

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played , or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

Here I am once again sitting at the computer looking out of the window listening to the wind as it whirls threw my neighborhood, wondering what act of devilment I'm going to get into today. I thought about going to the mall and people watch. Maybe I should take myself to lunch and a movie. It's nothing like taking yourself out on a date. It's a good way to pick up a date, or so I'm told. It never happens to me and I've been taking myself out on dates for the past ten years. I thought about a going for a drive, smoke a good joint and pop in an old school CD I made. Scratch that idea, I'm afraid of driving through the mountains, and that's all I'm surrounded by. Maybe I should just fix me a nice candlelight dinner, but I didn't go grocery shopping and I don't feel like that it. I hate when I get this restless feeling. I want to do something, but what I don't know. So I did what I normally do when I'm feeling this way, fix me a cocktail (vodka and squirt), turn on some music and give one old drag show (even tipping myself).

In the midst of performing Whitney's version of "I Am Changing" the phone rings. I looked at the caller id. It was my best friend from Detroit. I started not to answer, I didn't feel like hearing about the drama she and her husband were having, but of course I answer. I was surprise to hear the voice of my oldest goddaughter. It brought tears to my eyes when she said she wanted to hear my voice and how much she missed me. Just when I was feeling alone and depress, a seven year old telling me how much she loves and what's going in her world brought me so much joy, changing my mood. So I decided to throw on a pair of jeans, sweater and my man bag (a coach clutch) and headed to the grocery store on the corner. I had a taste for corned beef and cabbage.

I walked into the store and decided to stop at the Starbuck's counter and ordered me a Venti Carmel Frappuccino, extra Carmel, no whipped cream. I like using whipped cream for other things. I was waiting for my drink, I notice the man of my dreams. The first thing I do is checkout a man's left hand to look for a wedding ring. Even though I know there are many men who are married and don't wear a ring.  He stood 6'0, skin the same color of my coffee. I wondered if running was part of his daily workout regiment from the way his thick muscular thighs hugged his jeans. I stood fantasying about laying my head of his bulky his chest.

Quickly I picked up the items I needed and headed to the checkout. As I stood in line I noticed him in the next one. His basket was filled with the usual food for a bachelor: bread, lunch meat, chips, cookies, frozen dinners and, of course, a twelve pack of Budweiser. How can a person so physically fit eat juke food and have the body of a Mandingo Warrior. Hell, I gained ten pounds just from looking at his basket. I felt like going up to him say the same thing Alex told Trey on Noah's Arc, "Looks like you are in need of a home cook meal." When our eyes met, I quickly turned my head and placed my items on the conveyor. After I paid for my groceries and hastily exit the store, I found myself kicking myself in the ass for not saying anything to him. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of being rejected and embarrassed. I put the bags in the car and prepared myself for the five block drive.

 My song of the day is Mary J's, "Can't Hide From Luv". As I was waiting to turnout of the parking lot, I noticed Mr. Man in the rearview mirror, behind me. He was driving a 2007 Black BMW, with tinted windows. To my surprise he was blaring Mary J. I turned left, and he did the same. I drove two blocks, turned into my subdivision, down two blocks and he followed suit. Was he following me? I turned on my street and he kept straight. My body was hoping he was following me home to put out the fire he had lit.

For the rest of day my mind played with the thought of him. Why was I so afraid to speak? It's nothing wrong with saying hello, even though I had other intentions. Then again, I didn't look my best. I had not shaved, so I was sporting my gray after five shadow. Unlike his shining baldhead, my head was in need of maintenance. After I started dinner, I decided to prepare for the dreaded workweek.

It was eight thirty, a half hour before my Sunday TV lineup started, Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters and The L Word, when I realize I was out of cigarettes. I threw a hooded sweater over my t shirt, slipped on my house shoes, wearing pajama bottoms and drove up to the gas station. While I was deciding on what ice cream flavor to get Mr. BMW (Black Man Working) walked in. Twice in one day I'm caught looking like a ham (hot ass mess). I tried not to look at him, but my third leg stood at attention saluting him as walked towards me. I guess that's what I get for not wearing underwear. Quickly I dashed down the next aisle, to the counter, grabbing a bag of potato chips and cookies, trying to hide my excitement. Without looking in his direction, I knew he was standing next to me. He spoke. He had that deep Barry White voice. And what happen? I froze, I could barely get a "hey" out of my voice sounding like Michelle'. He was out the door before I was. Thank God for that. As I walked out the door he was pulling out of his parking spot. As I opened the car door, there was a note of my window. It read, "You can run, but you can't hide. Call me. D," with his phone number listed at the bottom of the note.

What should I do? Should I call him? Do I call him tonight or do I wait a couple of days? One thing for certain is the old saying, "When you're looking worst is when people find you the most attractive."