UPDATE: Stuff removed.

Ok, this will not interest anyone outside of California. Here's my picks for the propositions on the upcoming elections:

NO on 83:
This is the sexual predator law. I know, I know, hear me out. Now sexual predators are easy targets for legislatures looking to 'get tough on crime' because who's gonna defend them? Arguments in favor of this bill usually read like something out of a Stephen King novel (Your child will be raped and then chopped into pieces and then the pieces will be raped and buried. Then the ground they've been buried in will be raped.) So I'm not defending sexual predators, but this proposition does not seem to protect children while at the same time it imposes mandatory sentencing and requires GPS devices to be worn by ALL persons convicted of a sex crime, a definition that will also be expanded in this prop. First of all, how would a system like that work, what would it cost, and would it be effective? The answer to all those questions is no, if you rephrase them to say will it work, will it not cost a lot will it be effective. What's to stop someone from just removing the GPS device? There's a way to get around any security measure and it can be found on the internet. And really, you think the government can effectively run something like this?
Secondly, I don't like mandatory sentencing. We've had the 3 strikes law for years and all it's done is increase the population of prisons. So we've been kicking out the murderers to make room for the shoplifters. Let the judge and the jury decide sentences, that's their job.
Also it does other stuff which I'm too tired to go into right now.
Bottom line: It's expensive, ineffective and unworkable.

YES on 84:
It's good for our water. It cleans the environment. The only argument against it that I can see is that it costs money. Well, so does everything, at least this is something that everyone who pays taxes actually benefits from.

NO on 85!
This is the parental consent and waiting period for abortions for minors. This will not help the teens who cannot go to their parents because they're abusive, etc. Sure they can then go in front of a judge and ask for a waiver, but how together where you when you were in your teens? Could you go through all those court proceedings by yourself, without help from any family? It will encourage these teens to get a backdoor abortion from some dude on the street corner, which has a huge risk of causing death, or worse.

YES on 86:
This will increase taxes on cigarettes and tobacco by about $2.60 to pay for healthcare related programs. Some of you won't like that. Oh well.

YES on 87:
Alternative energy proposition. Taxes oil refineries (from the current anemic rate to the same rate of most other states) and forbids costs to be passed onto consumers. The oil companies are against it. 'nuff said.

YES on 88:
Didn't we just pass school bonds last year? What happened to that money? On the other hand, this property tax goes to fixing up classrooms and buying supplies and school safety. I guess I'll vote yes.

YES on 89:
Campaign finance reform. Publically financed elections. Reduces importance of big money in California elections. Levels the playing field. All good.

NO on 90:
While it does restrict eminent domain, there is a clause in the proposition that would make it harder and more expensive to clean up the environment, build roads, or just about anything else a city needs to do. An example is that if a city is trying to clean up a waterin' hole and they traced the leak to a septic tank, they would have to pay the owner of the septic tank to clean it up because this disclosure "devalues the property". So instead of making it the owner's responsibility to clean up his shit (so to speak), the bill gets passed to the taxpayer.

The title says it all. And all it says is here: Junk Food For Your Brain

New blog up at Junk Food For Your Brain

Okay, this one's for real. I've spent the last several days moving all my blogs and putting up all my cartoons on my new website. I hope to have some friends contribute and we can all make the funny together. My posts here will be fewer, if that's even possible. At any rate, you can find my latest everything at JunkFoodForYourBrain.com
That link will open in a new window. See how much HTML I've learned already! I can input up to and including three commands.

I know you're all wondering just how unemployed am I? Unemployed enough to spend all day finishing Gotta Have Heart! I think it's a great one.
Probably NSFW though.
Check it out:

Episode 3: There's Nothing Funny About Humorous

My new cartoon is up. Check it out at http://www.mytoons.com/animation/play/8822
and give it a thumbs up while you're there.

One of the things I miss about film cameras as opposed to digital cameras is that you can no longer find a spent roll of film while cleaning out a drawer and say to yourself "I wonder what's in here?" Which then makes you wonder how long it's been there, which trip it was and if there's anything on there that could get you in trouble. Like that whole trip to Mexico...you remember...with the angry bear and the condoms full of honey...and poor Mona. Which then makes you wonder if she ever did find her other arm. At least that's what I was wondering. So I rushed down to get the film developed a mere three weeks later and I just got them back this afternoon.
The film contains a mishmash of different trips I took including my cross country odyssey. Maybe I'll tell that some time. Note to those traveling through Oklahoma: those local cops are pricks.
But this is not that. These pics were my adventure to Graceland, aka the Land of 1000 DeLoreans. Seriously, a good 4 pictures are of DeLoreans. And that's a lot for me, I'm not a picture guy, I don't take a lot of pictures. In fact I only have half a picture of my wife.
Anyway, I started taking pictures of all the DeLoreans while I drove but as I continued on they became so commonplace I started taking a picture of all the non-DeLoreans just to save film. I'd never been in that part of the country before so I just assumed that all Memphiseans drove them. (What do you call a citizen of Memphis?)
I pulled into the parking lot of Graceland and stepped out to see the most awesome of awesome sights. My picture didn't come out great but I poked around the internet and I found it.
Follow this link and hold on to your hat. I assume you wear an internet surfing hat.

http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/monstergarage/yourmonster/zooms/page08/zoom_04.html

Yeah, that's right. I touched that. If Elvis had driven it, he might be alive today. Kept alive by the sheer wtf-idness.

I love classic rock station radio promos because they're never gonna get any new albums, they just have to find new gimmics. As my grandfather used to tell me "Buy classic rock, it's the one thing they're not making anymore." Well, gramps, this radio promo is for you:

It's September, and that means we're only one month away from the greatest ongoing radio promotion of all time: SHOCKTOBER!!
We'll shock you with one million volts of rock featuring the greatest shock rockers of all- Led Zeppelin, Metallica and more Led Zeppelin. It's called SHOCKTOBER and we're gonna SHOCK all month long.

But before that, get ready to have your eyes blown out of your ears as we bring you rock's greatest tunemeisters- Led Zeppelin, Metallica and more Led Zeppelin! You'll rock 'til you drop, then rock some more and it'll look like convulsions but you'll just be rocking as they wheel you away to the rockhospital! It's called ROCK-TOBER and we're gonna ROCK all month long!

It'll make you forget all about the horrible events of last Rape-ril.

I know that my friends secretly want to start a Fight Club, but nobody's really talking about it.

2 Dog related stories for you from when I went to the Santa Monica pier last night:

A lady walks by with a little terrier on a leash. It's kind of dancing up and down as she walks by and then she stops right in front of me. Well, the dog keeps dancing up and down but now I notice that it looks a little stiff. Very stiff actually. It's head and legs are not moving independently. I look a little closer and I see some string leading up to the lady's hand, like a puppet. She was standing there, jiggling the string to make it look like the dog's walking. She was even talking to it.
She told it to "Come on" and they flew off on their magical rainbow pony.

Later, I passed a homeless woman with a dog standing nxt to two skateboarders. They were probably xtreme, I don't know, I didn't look closely but I did hear her say:
"Can you teach my dog to ride a skateboard? He already bites tires."

I just like the fact that she thinks biting tires is a step on the road to learning how to skateboard. "He already bites tires? That's step one!"

My wife suggested that the implication was that the dog understood the concept of things having wheels, which kind of would be step one. But on a list like that step 3 would be "Realize that an object in motion will remain in motion unless stopped by an outside force" which is a bit hard for a dog to grasp. I think the homeless woman was [insert metaphor similar to but not actually "barking up the wrong tree" here] if that was her thought process.

I prefer to imagine the homeless lady riding a skateboard, head bent over the edge, attempting to bite the tires for balance, with the skateboarders nodding in approval and shouting encouragement. Now that's xtreme!!!