A Fish Story, by Jenny Corvette, won first place in our
Humo-erotic Contest...
It was my boyfriend's idea to go fishing with our friends Dan and Emily. I'm not the outdoors type but I figured I'd made Brian sit through his share of episodes of "Sex and the City" so it was only fair that I accompany him on one of his many outdoor manly adventures. Also, I genuinely liked Dan and Emily in a flirtatious schoolgirl kind of way. So I could think of worse ways to spend a lazy Sunday morning.
Brian made all of the arrangements. The cooler was packed with beer for the boys and wine coolers for me and Emily. I packed sandwiches while he dug an old fishing rod out of the garage for me to use. It was dusty and its lines, tangled over time, carried on their ends rusty silver lures. Brian explained that we wouldn't be fishing with lures before he cut them off in order to more easily untangle the fishing line. Frankly he could've left my lines tangled and I wouldn't have minded. I only intended to use the trip to sunbathe on the boat anyway.
When Dan and Emily arrived, I suddenly realized that I was the only one of us who didn't plan on actually catching any fish. Emily's normally shiny black hair was tied back and hidden by one of those never cool fishing hats, and her bigger-than-mine boobs were disguised under a flannel shirt, with sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and her very own tackle box gripped tightly in her left hand. "So you've done this before?" I said to her as Dan and Brian started loading the truck.
"Oh yeah. Love it. You'll love it too," she said, giving me a playful and supportive slug on the shoulder.
"What I'd love is to be sleeping right now," I told her, still in my pajamas, which never came off until after I'd had my mandatory four cups of coffee. "I intended to wear my bathing suit. Would that be inappropriate?"
"Hell no," answered Dan with a cute smile as he slid past me carrying nets big enough to catch an alligator.
"It might be a bit chilly on the lake," said Em, "I'd take a sweater."
So I took a sweater, and because Dan and Brian insisted that we leave earlier than I anticipated, I also brought my fourth cup of coffee in a thermos. And my fingernail polish to have something to do on the ride to the lake. I also overestimated the trip and by the time we arrived at the lake my nails hadn't dried, which meant I was a worthless observer until the four of us were loaded in the boat on the lake. Feeling a bit guilty for skirting all the heavy unloading, I passed out beers and breakfast sandwiches. My coffee was gone and my nails were dry. So I was ready to catch some fish. As Brian parked the truck, Dan asked me about the radio I brought.
"Noise will scare away the fish," he told me.
"Not the deaf ones," I snapped back wittily.
We trolled out to the middle of the lake, and as Dan had implied, we cut the motor in order not to scare away the fish. Everyone baited their hooks as I looked on and gave sympathetic looks to my boyfriend, who only ignored me.
"What are you waiting for?" asked Dan as he lobbed his line in the still water with a muffled plop. "You're not--"
Embarrassed, I cut him off. "I'm not ready yet. We shouldn't start fishing until we've discussed… uh…" I was stalling for time and more importantly, for a good excuse why I couldn't impale an earthworm with a fishing hook. "We should talk about what we're fishing for."
"We're fishing for fish," said my brainiac boyfriend. "What else can you fish for?"
"No, I mean… like a wager. We should make a bet." I looked to Emily for support but she'd already baited her hook and only looked at me blankly. "Girls against the guys!" I suddenly blurted out. "Whoever catches the prettiest fish wins!"
Everyone laughed but me, and their laughs faded out when they realized that I wasn't joking. "Okay, the biggest fish, then. Or no… the most fish," I suggested, condoning a mass fish genocide. I felt a bit like Hitler until I added, "But of course we'll throw them all back."
"What? No way," said Dan. "I'm catching my dinner. What's the point of fishing if you throw them back?"
"I'll make you dinner tonight. And by make, I mean of course, take you out to a nice restaurant after we're done fishing."
"Trust me, her Popeye's Chicken is to die for," added Brian before I knocked him in the groin.
"I'm game. Sounds fun," said Emily. "If you're gonna buy dinner either way, what's the bet?"
Everyone was silent, which was good because we weren't scaring away the fish. "Boys against the girls… whoever's losing the bet has to do what the others say, like truth or dare."
"Oh, how 80s," said Dan, thinking it over. "Can we play spin the bottle too?" He spun his already empty beer bottle on the seat of the boat and it pointed at me. I just smiled.
"You're just scared, Dan," said Emily. "Worried that we girls will kick your ass."
"That's right, Emily. We're gonna kick their asses so bad they'll have to stand on their heads to sit down." We laughed as the boys began to fume.
"Bullshit, you're on," said Brian. "Right, Danny?"
"Absolutely. Wager per fish."
"Perfect. It's a bet," I said, gloating because I'd gotten my way. "We're gonna show you boys how it's done, right Em? You two ain't never seen so many fish as we're gonna catch, right Em?"
"Right."
"Now, bait my hook partner, and we can start kicking ass!"
The boys cracked open another tube and Em and I started in on the wine coolers. It was barely mid morning but we were starting the party early. With four lines in the water, four hook-impaled earthworms dangled beneath the swampy surface as we lay back and relaxed.
"Did you know," started Emily, "that Dan and I met on a fishing tournament?" Brian and I shook our heads as she went on. "He introduced himself to me after the weigh in. He nearly poked me in the eye with his rod."
"I have a big rod," smirked Dan, winking.
Emily smacked him with the back of her hand in the shoulder. "When we shook hands, his were covered in fish guts. It was adorable."
"Love at first bite?" I quipped.
"She's my best catch yet," said Dan, and despite being corny, Brian and I both went aww. But then Dan ruined it by saying, "I took her right home and mounted her."
Emily's mouth fell open, bigger than a large mouthed bass. She hit him again, this time harder. In fact she was busy hitting him when Brian jumped up and grabbed his pole. He had a bite.
Everyone froze as Brian reeled in his line. Dan grabbed the net but didn't need it. Not because the fish had gotten away, as both of us girls were hoping would happen, but because of the size of the fish itself. Let's just say that if we had been using minnows, it would've been in danger of being eaten by the bait.
"Size doesn't matter," exclaimed Brian but this time he meant the fish he held in his hands. When he high fived Dan, the fish squirmed out of his grip and into the bottom of the boat. The boys, after some clumsy pounces that nearly tipped the boat, re-caught the fish and held it up before us as if it were Jaws.
"All right, all right," I said, "Throw it back. You win the first wager."
Danny and Brian thought long and hard about what they wanted as a prize, whispering in each other's ears a couple different ideas. It wasn't until Emily's line began to tremble that they blurted out their answer. Per the rules laid out beforehand, we all agreed that the winners must decide on a wager before the next fish was caught, or else they'd forfeit that prize. When Emily's line quivered slightly, from what we later learned was a snag, not a fish, Dan blurted out…
"Blowjobs!"
We laughed and the boys only smiled. I didn't realize they were serious until they started unbuttoning their pants in unison. Em and I just looked at each other foolishly. We should've anticipated their bet. After all, when has a guy ever turned down a blowjob, no strings, or in our case, fish lines attached?
"Oh well, it could be worse," I said to Emily as we both leaned down against the crotches of our respective men. "They could've asked for anal."
"Shh!" she said. "Don't give them any ideas."
I focused in on Brian's penis, which he was careful not to over-expose to the still chilly morning air. Also because he was a bit shy. A couple furtive glances told me that Dan wasn't lying when he said his rod was big. But I tried to be coy in my voyeurism.
I slowly wrapped my lips around my boyfriend's shy codger and slowly I lured him out of his hiding place. My tongue, warm and still fizzing from the Bacardi Breezer, licked the bottom of his member as my lips bobbed over the top. Brian was getting on splendidly above me, moaning when I paused to tighten my mouth around him and exhaling quickly when I returned to my rhythm. Emily and I continued in this fashion for several long minutes, and each of us forgot about the other people around. We forgot about our poles in the water too. Brian came first, long and hard. With his erect dick in my mouth, he made a sound so loud I suddenly worried would scare away the fish. Then he gushed out inside me, a warm and wet stream of salty Brian, which I swallowed like it was alcohol. I slumped myself over in his lap and he fell back, relaxed and as Emily and Dan continued, Brian squeezed my breasts through my bathing suit top, and inched a finger down my front.
Though he suffered a bit of stage fright, Dan was right behind Brian in what he'd later call his "boat bomb." When the two of them were finished, they caught Brian with his hand down the front of my bathing suit. In a weird way, we were all embarrassed, as if we'd been caught masturbating by our parents.
"It's gonna be hard to top that," my boyfriend said, breaking the ice.
Emily was still wiping the saliva and cum from her lips when she twisted off the tap to another wine bottle. And I flipped on the radio. "Uh oh," I heard Emily say as she looked to Dan's fishing pole.
It was bobbing like… well, like we were a moment ago. The tip nearly doubled over a couple times. Dan hooked his catch and frantically reeled. This was a big one, and Dan was still spent from his fellatio. Brian grabbed the net as Em and I just watched, hoping the big one would get away. We didn't have enough energy to give another blowjob.
In the end, Dan ended up reeling in a 13-inch perch out of the water. After that, an assortment of crazy digital photographs were taken with Brian's cell phone. The boys, with a sudden burst of energy, announced their next and what would turn out to be their last wager of the day.
They were all smiles when they announced to me and Emily, "We want you to make out."
Emily and I nearly fell out of the boat. Giggling like schoolchildren, we threw our bottles at them and refused. But they were persistent. "Make out? Like kissing and other stuff?"
"A lot of other stuff, if you don't mind," said Dan.
"A bet's a bet," said Brian. "I wanna see you kiss. Dan wants to see you kiss. But most of all," Brian held up the 13-inch perch, "He wants to see you kiss." The fish was gasping for air, making kissy motions with his mouth.
"Throw him back," I demanded.
"Not until you kiss," said our bottom-dwelling boyfriends.
I sat next to Emily and put my arm around her. We smiled at each other, as if to warn one another that what we were about to do was not intended to fuck up our friendship. I took off her ugly fishing hat and brushed her dark hair to the side of her face. Slowly, as our boyfriends looked on, our faces leaned in together. Just before our lips touched, I heard Brian slip the fish back into the water.
Emily's mouth was cold and wet. Her tongue was timid and her lips tasted like wine. We closed our eyes and went deeper, opening our mouths, only a little, at the exact same time. I could taste Dan's cum and she could probably taste Brian's in mine. We were still sitting awkwardly, side by side when I opened my eyes to see Brian's face. He was fascinated, on his way to his second arousal of the morning and it was barely ten o'clock. With his left hand, he held a beer. With his right, he hid an erection.
I straddled Emily so my back was to the boys and my boobs squeezed against hers. Wrapping my arms around her head, I forced her mouth wide open with my tongue and I literally breathed her in. I'd always found Emily hot as hell and she kissed as good as I'd imagined. Her soft lips crushed against mine in such a careful yet bold way I never wanted to let her go. My hands slid down and under her flannel shirt as I heard the boys anxiously shift in their seats behind me.
The boys… were they still back there? I'd almost forgotten all about them.
Emily untied the back of my swimsuit and my top fell off. As she covered my nipples with her cold hands, I caught her glancing over my shoulder. I caught Brian's reflection in the mirror of her eyes. Then I felt his hand cup my ass. With Emily in front of me and Brian behind, I moaned and fell back as he kissed my neck. Dan had slipped in behind Emily by then, and I reached out to touch his sunburned chest. He was slipping off Emily's shorts as she leaned forward to lick my naked breasts. Brian's hands were reaching around and between my legs, where I had my own little lake forming. He slid a finger inside me as Dan slipped off Emily's panties. Her pussy was dripping with excitement so he entered her from behind. I watched her eyes grow wide as she smiled at me and blew me a kiss.
He rocked her, slowly at first, towards me with each deliberate thrust and sooner than I knew it, Brian had slipped off my bikini bottom and spread my legs wide open with his mouth. I laid back and listened to the slap happy bodies of Dan and Emily rocking the boat while Brian worked magic with his tongue between my thighs. Every time he touched my clit, I twitched with anticipation, spreading my legs open further. Dan and Em were fucking recklessly now, and Brian finally undid his jeans and slipped inside me. Together, the four of us fucked in synchrony until our moans were so loud we were certain we were scaring every last fish away. But oh was it worth it! When we came, wine bottles rolled around the boat's hull. Beer cans clanged against each other. The boat nearly capsized.
Next time we were definitely bringing life jackets.
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