MySpace
myspace music my music | music videos | featured playlists | top artists | shows | classifieds | forums 


T.A.



Last Updated: 6/22/2009

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Status: Single
Signup Date: 3/22/2007

Blog Archive
[Older      Newer]
 /  / 
April 4, 2009 - Saturday 

Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Music
Ok so... its sooooo not 2008 anymore and I STILL have that background on my page... I know I know LOL.

In a way its kinda representative of my state of mind the last few months... at least regarding my album... and music in general.

I have to say it is an everyday struggle deciding whether or not I even want to finish it and put it out... just to be honest. Music today isn't what it used to be. It's simply an industry... one you have to sell your soul to be an exclusive member of (literally)... and one who only uses your talents to promote its on living and breathing agenda. None of the above appeal to me even slightly.

So, being some who LOVES music; but faced with the reality of the facts of "the industry", (which of course is not news to most musicians/artists), wondering if it is even worth trying to do has been a forefront issue for me.

Also, having moved to Philly in the last month, the change of environment... is jarring but not unexpected... and has also been somewhat a factor.

ANYWAY

Ive decided to finish it and I need some help. I have a jillion tracks from some very talented producers and SOME of the snippets are on the page... while SOME are not as of yet. Stop by and listen to them and tell me in whatever way you feel (scale of 1-10) which ones you would definitely like to hear on an album in their entirety. As it stands there is only ONE definite (Untitled Rough) and as I want to put about 12 songs on this album... I'd like to know what people think.

HOLLA ATCHA BOI


September 15, 2008 - Monday 
Now... those of you who REALLY know me... know that I must have REALLY been annoyed to actually sit down and write this blog.






At the outset of the Election cycle I was "Fired up and Ready to go!" But now... not so much. For various reasons, which I shall not go into at THIS time, I view Politics as a big show to make all of the "little" people think they have a choice... but in actuality... they really don't. I quickly learned that Presidents are nothing more than figureheads who do the bidding of THEIR masters... people you and I never see. Democrats and Republicans are just red and blue components of one big flying purple people eater... Hence the last eight years of Bush tearing down the country... and Hence my lack of political commentary on this years Donkey vs. Elephant debacle.

HOWEVER...


I just HAVE to say something...


Even though I don't keep up on the day to day blunders of this campaign season... it is hard not to see and hear about them on the news... and everywhere else. Obama's floundering to Israel... Mccains floundering to Israel... NO COMMENT ON THAT.

Obama's grovelling to "evangelicals" McCain grovelling to "evangelicals"... Obama's Father's day speech... (as if black men needed another reminder as to why they aren't crap in this country... and as if no other racial group in America suffers from the problem of single parenting...) McCain... owner of NINE not seven but NINE homes... painting the community organizer from Chicago as the Elitist... and pretending like he even THINKS about the economy... blah blah blah...

I mean... Woody Allen couldn't have written a better script for this "election season".

Despite all of these things I just shook my head and kept it moving because... frankly I don't have any real faith in ANY of this three ring circus crap... but then along came Palin... and I just can't... I mean... WHAT????

Im used to the Republican party being smug and elitist.... I'm used to the Karl Rove crap... I'm used to racial innuendo in politics... I expected the Muslim references and Obama/Osama word associations (although the evidence points more to atheism and not to Islam)... I wasn't surprised at the "community organizer" bash-fest at the RNC... or the consistent "spin" of Fox Noise.. eh hem "News"... I mean not much surprises me. Sarah Palin DID surprise me.

This woman has me REALLY feeling sorry for Hilary Clinton... and THAT is a stretch. NO Im not misogynistic and I think a woman who is qualified should be given all of the same job opportunities as any man including the Presidency... I do have a daughter and would never teach her that lack of male genitalia means she is not good enough for ANYTHING... and also because whoever gets it will just do as they are told anyway. I mean I may not like her politics... BUT this woman knows her stuff and has been fighting her way through the political grinder all of her life. Now... because it is an unjust system to begin with... I can't say I blame her for her tactics. But now... This dingbat Sarah Palin who has done ABSOLUTELY nothing is poised to be the next puppet VP and as Mccain is three million years old and pees fossil fuels... she stands to be the next puppet President!!! I HAVE seen her record.. not impressed as most of the day to day governance's were handled by an aide... and crystal meth DID flourish under her capable leadership... not to mention the fact that she came to a debt free Wascilla... and left it millions in debt... or that she hired high school friends for important public offices, paid them HUGE salaries... and cut programs the state really needed so that they could KEEP those salaries... and Im just naming a few off the top of my head... I mean wow!! Only in America! (sarcasm mine)

Now... all lipstick references to pigs, pitbulls, and any other mammal that may have been mentioned aside... Im gonna be honest. I am not so much surprised that she was selected.. as I am surprised that they were confident enough in American stupidity to let Charlie Gibson Rip her to shreds in front of the American Public... and literally show that she knows NOTHING about ANYTHING.. and there was no major cry of alarm from the masses. Nobody seems to have noticed that they have just been slapped about the face and called an idiot by the ruling elite. I know I know... "In what way Charlie?"

I mean... being able to see Russia from ones yard or even state... does not give one foreign policy experience... especially when America is enemies with just about every country with nuclear or NU-CUE-LER as Palin and Bush pronounce it... weapons.

Saying Charlie's first name every fifteen seconds is NOT a way to get people to believe you know what you are talking about... you simply look like rain man.


I wouldn't want a "pitbull with lipstick" (she called HERSELF that) or a crotchety billion year old man who can't raise his arms above his shoulders... who sings bomb bomb Iran in his Ambien induced coma to his malfunctioning stepford wife... next to the RED BUTTON... but that's just me. This should be a major issue to people who actually believe that the President they elect actually runs this country... but apparently... not so much.


I guess all the fluoride in the water is really working after all.
July 29, 2008 - Tuesday 
Best summed up by Boyce Watkins


CNN's Black in America: Exactly What it was Meant to Be
by Dr. Boyce Watkins
www.BoyceWatkins.net
When I received the email about CNN's recent series "Black in America", I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad: I was indifferent. I saw it for what it was: an attempt to use viral marketing to achieve a ratings hit against Fox News. But after seeing the same damn email forwarded to me over and over and over again, I knew one thing: many black people were excited….really excited, as if CNN were the Union Army and this were a modern-day Juneteenth. The email was forwarded as a "must see", save-the-date, tell ya mama, grandmamma, baby's mama event that was going to change the world. Finally, the predominantly white media was going to give us a fair shake and truly tell our story. They were going to help White America understand what we go through and why we are not the animals some think we are. They were going to present hurdles and solutions that will help us come together as a nation. Call me a skeptic, but if the media has never told our story accurately in the past, what in the hell made us think they were going to do it right this time?

Given that some label me a "haterologist" for daring to question the religious figure known as Barack Obama (I am cautiously, yet strongly supportive and protective of Barack, but I insist that anyone who gets my vote communicates an effective urban agenda) I chose to let the liquor keep flowing at the "We Shall Overcome via CNN" Happy Hour in Black America. In other words, I remained silent, since it's not fun to bring bad news (academics are trained to be skeptical, even if we think something is good). All of us were ready to pull out the popcorn and kool-aid, to stare down the TV set like we were watching Beyonce give birth in outer space. The CNN event was truly the Black middle class version of the BET Video Music Awards, without all the gold teeth and stuff.

I watched the show the same way I normally watch CNN: between flights in random airports. I don't even watch CNN when I appear on the network, since I stay pretty busy. I won't say how I felt after the special; I'll just let you read my facial expression through these words. Imagine a modest-looking, youngish-oldish, blackish/brownish bald man with a twisted frown-like scowl, a twitching, squinted left eye, a curled up bottom lip and gritted teeth, viewing a TV screen between his two middle fingers. Sort of like the face you make when watching an Olympic gymnast fall crotch-first onto the balance beam right before breaking his leg.

"Black in America" was the socio-political lovefest between CNN and Black people that just wasn't going to materialize. It was the day when we in middle class Black America truly thought we were going to be vindicated, and the world would finally learn to love us. Black America became Jeremiah Wright at The National Press Club, thinking that the same media that destroyed his image was going to be the source of image repair. But like Jeremiah Wright (whom I respect tremendously), we marched away angrily, kicking the cracks in the sidewalk, shocked that we'd all been bamboozled. We were finally invited into the game, but only so they could use our ball and make us the mascot.

I don't hate CNN, I've done a lot of work with them. I do, however, hate Fox News….well, just Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity (great job this week Nas – even though you should stop marketing yourself as a replacement for Jesse Jackson). I don't question the motives of the producers, including Soledad O'Brien, a woman I truly believe to care about black people. I also felt that Paula Zahn (a former host) really wanted to dig to the root of racial inequality in an honest way. I did not, however, feel that CNN could pull off an honest conversation on race, and I don't believe they wanted to. They were, to me, like American Generals thinking they could muscle their way to peace in Iraq. They felt that if they spent enough money, engaged in enough viral marketing and got enough black people excited, they could create a ratings monster.

CNN achieved its goal. What made me feel bad for black people is that many of us actually thought that their goals were the same as our own. Here are some quick thoughts:

1) Black people were not the target audience of this series. CNN was not talking TO black people, they were talking ABOUT black people. Understand, there is a difference between telling white America how horrible black people can be vs. telling White people things they may not want to hear. Sure, CNN was glad to have Black viewers, but they are designed to cater to the other 87% of the population, not the 13% who serve as stars of the show. Black people have always made good entertainment for the corporate news monster, which feeds itself from the number of eyeballs it gets on the screen.
2) Most of the content for a TV news show, guest selection, and everything else, comes from the mind of the producer(s). Most producers of cable news shows, and all of the hosts, are non-black. Their viewpoints, structured in a racist society, are going to manifest themselves in the content of the show. Our media school here at Syracuse is one of the top 3 in the world and we have a lot of students who go on to become producers at CNN, FOX, NBC, etc. During a highly racist show created on our campus news network a couple of years ago (it led to the studio being shut down and students being harshly and unfairly disciplined), I noted that it was not the fault of the students that they see the world the way they do. It's the fault of their parents and educators who refuse to teach them what they need to understand about race. America must face the truth about racism in order to properly educate news producers to provide a more enlightened perspective. As I began working with international news organizations this year, the contrast became quite clear: I enjoy appearing on international networks like Al Jazeera much more than CNN, Fox and MSNBC. The difference is like comparing a gourmet meal of knowledge to crackers from a sound bite vending machine. That's why I only watch cable news in airports.
3) The Black in America series was done for one reason: to take away Fox News' Black viewers (Black people hate Fox, and I am glad they do) and to defeat O'Reilly at the ratings game. While Black in America did very well in the ratings, it was still second to The O'Reilly Factor. The idea that there are 2.5 million people in America who watch O'Reilly every night says something about where we stand in America as it pertains to race. If CNN is trying to steal these viewers, then an honest reflection on racism is not going to achieve that goal.
4) The way this show was done underscores the need to finance and secure more black-owned media (I shared this with Rev. Jackson this week, since I was disappointed that his mishap with the microphone occurred on Fox – whether you like Jesse or not, our most respected and cherished leaders should not have to lean toward racist venues like Fox News to get a message to their people). No one else will ever tell our story the way we would tell it. This underscores the importance of supporting black media outlets and even going to the Internet to get your news if necessary. This does not imply that CNN can't be a valid source of news, but I encourage their network to get more black hosts and producers so they can tell the story right next time.
5) Personally, I was a bit offended by the "Black in America" series, primarily because it gave me exactly what I expected: a series of shallow statistics and vignettes, featuring the most dramatically negative aspects of our existence, all provided without context to an audience that sits back and says "What's wrong with those people?" I can't help but wonder if a show called "White in America" would be produced, showing many negative realities of the White community. What is most ironic is that such a series would never be acceptable.

Only Black people feel the pressure to answer for every little thing that happens in all corners of our community. We will even say that we are "embarrassed" by something we saw on TV. I've never seen a White man get embarrassed by the behavior of someone in a trailer park, so I don't get embarrassed by Flavor Flav. It is the lack of image diversity in mainstream media that makes us angry at Flavor Flav for simply being who he is. The truth is that we should wonder why it is ONLY Flavor Flav on the network, and not another Black image to balance him out.

Self-reflection is necessary. But I don't believe in self-hatred. To LIFT yourself, you must learn to LOVE yourself. CNN's "Black in America" didn't give us much to love. But looking for love externally doesn't usually work anyway, so why were we trying so hard? The next time CNN offers us a media Juneteenth, this slave will already have left the plantation, I'll be educating my God kids instead.
March 27, 2008 - Thursday 

Current mood:  bummed
Category: Life


It is 5:39 AM.

I am wide awake.

My mind refuses to relent...
It is locked in the brutally anticlimactic cycle of trying to categorize my feelings about my father.

My head hurts.

My insides are churning loudly in protest.

My senses of logic and emotion have forcefully engaged one another in a tumultuous and epic battle... neither gaining the upper hand... and I remain painfully without resolution.

No amount of Tylenol pm can bludgeon the brute force of this exercise in futility. Sleep aides thus far, have only served to relocate the conflict to the rolling plains of my subconscious.

My dreams.
In every dream... waking or otherwise... the casualty of this particular civil war being my peace of mind.
Weapon of circumstance: constant inner turmoil.

The feeling of an impending meltdown is overwhelming... almost unavoidable. As I am dubious as to the form such a disintegration may take, I honestly must say that I am ill prepared for that occasion if or when it arises.

For those who don’t know... I recently met my father. I’d never met him before now and after 15 years of digging, scratching, and searching... I tracked him down. I couldn’t really tell you why it was important to do so... there are so many. Yet, now in retrospect, the reasons seem somehow hollow.

Unimportant.

Now that one search has come to a grinding halt... yet another more difficult one is revving its deafening engine and burning rubber on the race-track of my brain.

About my father...

To be completely fair, the term "tracked him down" may be a little disingenuous, as technically he wasn’t hiding. (Or... at least that is what I have gathered from the information begrudgingly disseminated by both he and my mother anyway).

This seems to be the one point both parties concede. That concession, however, is where the bonfire chorus of kumbaya ends and the sniper fire flashes of parsed words and fuzzy recollection begins. The two couldn’t possibly remember things more differently than if they were told at gun point to do so... but I’ll digress on the mis-education of Tommy Allen... for now.

Well that was the past and here is the present.

I have since traveled back to Ohio to meet my father and four of my five siblings.

I also ran into, (sometimes literally, as the house was about as big as a sock drawer), a host of older people...who claimed relationship to me in some strange and confusing ways... that I have since stricken from my mental Rolodex.

I suppose that after an impromptu barbecue, (supposedly in my honor), watching them get sloppy drunk; being subjected to their raucous vocal renditions of countless old records, (in addition to the woozy and ill-advised dance steps that accompanied them); being inspected from head to toe like a prize bull and told how much parts of me resemble parts of grandparents, great grandparents, and other genetic contributors that I will never meet; and finally bearing wide eyed witness their derelict and embarrassing soul train line weaving through the empty beer bottles on the front lawn; I subconsciously blocked them out.

You would have too.


Overall, the reunion with my father, albeit highly anticipated, was very... sterile. Topical. Surface. Without substance.

I don’t know what I was expecting it to be.

I’m not a very emotional person so I don’t think I was expecting a kleenex convention or a snot-fest of any kind... but after such a long search shouldn’t you feel something? I mean... I did feel something... but the definition of that feeling is rather elusive... a mixture of relief, indifference, happiness, anger... the whole gambit of the emotional spectrum... yet... we exhibited none of those feelings toward one another. We simply stared at one another in the same polite manner one would assess a new classmate or a new member of the basketball team. We surreptitiously analyzed each other like a scientist would a new species of insect. Basically, we made small talk for two weeks, exchanged phone numbers... and then went back to our lives as they were before we met.

With my siblings... it was somewhat different. We talked at some length... sometimes into the wee hours of the morning. We got to know one another. We exchanged childhood memories... funny stories.. not so funny stories... we connected. When I left Ohio... I had barely gotten a half an hour away before I missed them... well some of them.

My father was an entirely different story. I often wondered if he had alzheimer’s... because he kept telling the same few stories over and over again in an endless loop. I feel bad because he seems sincere enough... but something just didn’t click. When he calls... I rarely answer. When I do... we have nothing to say. Half of me wants to build some kind of meaningful relationship with him... the other half couldn’t care less....

I know... it seems trivial. I wish it felt as trivial as it looks here in black and white... but it doesn’t... and I don’t know what to do about it.
January 24, 2008 - Thursday 

Category: News and Politics
I won't even attempt to even explain this video. I just don't understand some mental processes.


January 13, 2008 - Sunday 

Current mood:  disgusted
Category: Life
This is a REAL conversation between a fellow myspacer and the manager of a car rental agency. Apparently, on a trip he got lost and asked for directions... and got a little more than he bargained for:

January 1, 2008 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  calm
A few things Ive learned in 2007

1. Things are not always what they seem
2. Happiness is more than just a state of mind... it's a way of life
3. I can't be everything to everybody
4. Living for other people isn't really living at all
5. You can't live in the future with baggage from the past
6. Never say what your "friends" won't do
7. Im pretty comfortable in my own skin
8. Other people always seem to think they know you better than you do

What I plan to do in 2008

Be myself regardless of the outcome!

Wishing everyone a safe and prosperous New Year


T.
October 27, 2007 - Saturday 

Current mood:  crazy
Aiight soooo...

I asked everybody to ask me questions they really wanted to know and I would answer them.. so I did lol. Keep in mind that some of the questions are very silly... and some are very personal/serious. Leave a comment and let me know what you think.


Ask Me Anything

Add to My Profile | More Videos
October 24, 2007 - Wednesday 
October 18, 2007 - Thursday 

Category: News and Politics
Fury at DNA pioneer's theory: Africans are less intelligent than Westerners
Celebrated scientist attacked for race comments: "All our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours - whereas all the testing says not really"
By Cahal Milmo
Published: 17 October 2007

One of the world's most eminent scientists was embroiled in an extraordinary row last night after he claimed that black people were less intelligent than white people and the idea that "equal powers of reason" were shared across racial groups was a delusion.

James Watson, a Nobel Prize winner for his part in the unravelling of DNA who now runs one of America's leading scientific research institutions, drew widespread condemnation for comments he made ahead of his arrival in Britain today for a speaking tour at venues including the Science Museum in London.

The 79-year-old geneticist reopened the explosive debate about race and science in a newspaper interview in which he said Western policies towards African countries were wrongly based on an assumption that black people were as clever as their white counterparts when "testing" suggested the contrary. He claimed genes responsible for creating differences in human intelligence could be found within a decade.

The newly formed Equality and Human Rights Commission, successor to the Commission for Racial Equality, said it was studying Dr Watson's remarks " in full". Dr Watson told The Sunday Times that he was "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa" because "all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says not really". He said there was a natural desire that all human beings should be equal but "people who have to deal with black employees find this not true".

His views are also reflected in a book published next week, in which he writes: "There is no firm reason to anticipate that the intellectual capacities of peoples geographically separated in their evolution should prove to have evolved identically. Our wanting to reserve equal powers of reason as some universal heritage of humanity will not be enough to make it so."

The furore echoes the controversy created in the 1990s by The Bell Curve, a book co-authored by the American political scientist Charles Murray, which suggested differences in IQ were genetic and discussed the implications of a racial divide in intelligence. The work was heavily criticised across the world, in particular by leading scientists who described it as a work of " scientific racism".

Dr Watson arrives in Britain today for a speaking tour to publicise his latest book, Avoid Boring People: Lessons from a Life in Science. Among his first engagements is a speech to an audience at the Science Museum organised by the Dana Centre, which held a discussion last night on the history of scientific racism.

Critics of Dr Watson said there should be a robust response to his views across the spheres of politics and science. Keith Vaz, the Labour chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee, said: "It is sad to see a scientist of such achievement making such baseless, unscientific and extremely offensive comments. I am sure the scientific community will roundly reject what appear to be Dr Watson's personal prejudices.

"These comments serve as a reminder of the attitudes which can still exists at the highest professional levels."

The American scientist earned a place in the history of great scientific breakthroughs of the 20th century when he worked at the University of Cambridge in the 1950s and 1960s and formed part of the team which discovered the structure of DNA. He shared the 1962 Nobel Prize for medicine with his British colleague Francis Crick and New Zealand-born Maurice Wilkins.

But despite serving for 50 years as a director of the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory on Long Island, considered a world leader in research into cancer and genetics, Dr Watson has frequently courted controversy with some of his views on politics, sexuality and race. The respected journal Science wrote in 1990: "To many in the scientific community, Watson has long been something of a wild man, and his colleagues tend to hold their collective breath whenever he veers from the script."

In 1997, he told a British newspaper that a woman should have the right to abort her unborn child if tests could determine it would be homosexual. He later insisted he was talking about a "hypothetical" choice which could never be applied. He has also suggested a link between skin colour and sex drive, positing the theory that black people have higher libidos, and argued in favour of genetic screening and engineering on the basis that " stupidity" could one day be cured. He has claimed that beauty could be genetically manufactured, saying: "People say it would be terrible if we made all girls pretty. I think it would great."

The Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory said yesterday that Dr Watson could not be contacted to comment on his remarks.

Steven Rose, a professor of biological sciences at the Open University and a founder member of the Society for Social Responsibility in Science, said: " This is Watson at his most scandalous. He has said similar things about women before but I have never heard him get into this racist terrain. If he knew the literature in the subject he would know he was out of his depth scientifically, quite apart from socially and politically."

Anti-racism campaigners called for Dr Watson's remarks to be looked at in the context of racial hatred laws. A spokesman for the 1990 Trust, a black human rights group, said: "It is astonishing that a man of such distinction should make comments that seem to perpetuate racism in this way. It amounts to fuelling bigotry and we would like it to be looked at for grounds of legal complaint."