I've had two Amy's make me sad in life. One was a ten year-old nymphette and the other is a british trainwreck.

It's one thing to feel depressed at twelve and entirely another at twenty-six. That's funny. It's almost glamorous to be sad when you're in the middle of puberty. Listening to a sad song made me sad because I knew that's what it was supposed to do and so I followed its direction as best I could. But now, there's plenty to be sad about and when I find that special song, it's like releasing the emotional flood gates. At twenty-six you know what it means to wake up alone. At twelve you always wake up alone.... unless you were a total ho. Or have a really small house.

But anyway, I'm sure being a twenty-something is just as annoying as being an adolescent to the rest of the adult world but we have that rare privilage of being slightly more prepared and more aware of ourselves than our younger counterparts. And I suppose that makes it equally understandable and irritating.

With that being said, Amy Winehouse is one of those chicks whose miserable life is as entertaining as talking shit about any other mid-grade celebrity but you know, when I hear her lyrics I feel like she might kind of know what's up and it's not ok to ridicule her the way I would a Lindsay Lohan, because she can tap into some part of her psyche and lay it on the table for everyone to see it the way I would never dare to. (original reference to Britney Spears has been removed because I've got nothing but love for you, Britney)

Sure that doesn't fly for very long but after a lot of googling and related article reading, I think the act enhances the music. She reminds me of chicks from high school with boyfriends who were too old for them. Who also took too much of a liking to pills, coke, and booze. I don't want this chick to be stable. How can I listen to something so sad and then see the person behind it having a blast. Who is physically and emotionally healthy. No thanks, I'm glad she looks like Ramona Rickettes and I'm glad she's a miserable piece of English trash.

Good for you, Amy Winehouse. You make me sad the way Fiona Apple only wishes she could.

I don't think this blog will be able to live up to that title. But oh well, whatever... nevermind.

I was reading Spin today. It was celebrating the 30th anniversary of Nevermind The Bollocks... and there was a list of notable punk albums throughout the last thirty years inside that started out really great and became sillier, and sadder the closer to the present it came. The first time I saw Green Day on the list, I said "ok." The first time I saw AFI on the list, I said "hmm." But when I saw Fall Out Boy, I said "bluhh." Well it was more of a low-pitched, guttural sound. Listen I like Fall Out Boy in some weird way that even the 12 year-old inside me can't understand (and that's because the 12 year-old inside me is a black clad Nine Inch Nails fanatic) but to call them punk? And to put not just one but three of their albums on the list.... that's fucked up.

I don't know who's calling the shots at Spin but after reading a few Marc Spitz articles a few years back I'm pretty sure they're inbred, and therefore retarded.

I haven't written a blog like this in a long time. I've been caught up in this "party girl" persona for a while. It's been concerts and clubs... bars and bands... music and booze... you get the idea. I'm not excessive, by any means, but I tend to latch on to things long enough to get the full experience.

So here I am, about to turn twenty-six and I've been feeling that impending doom, that lurking pressure of releasing the grip I've got on my previous age bracket and settling comfortably into my new one. It's taken me a long time to be cool with growing up. People think turning twenty-two makes you grown up, but they're wrong. It isn't until you hit the fateful age of twenty-five that you realize that it's time to grow up. Not because you want to or because it's fun but because all of the sudden you look just a little too old to be hanging out with that crowd, or to be stealing lawn ornaments at 3am. Wait, you can never be too old for that. Ok scratch that last one.

I'm not getting weepy. I'm not even sad. This is the weirdest decade of my life so far, it's true, but it feels like things are coming together. I had a friend a while back who was a couple of years younger than me, and I used to tell him that at twenty-four you knew who you were. That you sort of settled into yourself. I feel that now, except with a sense of certanity that it's no longer about who I am but about what I can and can't do. It's about getting what I've got together and making use of it. Utilizing. Creating. Nurturing. That sort of deal. And I'm down. I'm cool with this new chapter.

What else can I do? I'm not ready to jump off any bridges and I'm not going to settle down any time soon so I guess that means it's time to try new things.

Aside from all this though, I'm sitting here quite comfortably watching Fools Rush In on VHS (fuck yeah). I went to Las Vegas two weekends ago and to my surprise I discovered, thanks to Elizabeth, that we were standing on the very dam that Salma Hayek's character was on when she gave birth to her half-breed child. "Hot Damn!" I said. Wow, I can't even describe how excited I was to find that out. God, I love this movie. And how I missed that vital information the first hundred times I saw it I'll never understand. It's just my nature to be completely unaware of the simplest things.

If I could have a love story, ok well, first I'd want it to be just like Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, but if it couldn't be that way then I'd want it to be just like Fools Rush In. Except without Matthew Perry or a Matthew Perry-type personality.

"Now you're offending Amalia's guacamole!?!"

My mother hardly cooks though. They'd have to insult her papas con huevo.  

This year I'm going to paint the walls a bright color. I'm going to grow my hair out as long as I can without looking like a dirty hippie. I'm going to do Yoga at least three times a week and jog at least twice. I'm not drinking or smoking and if/when I do I will feel really gross for doing it. Give or a take a nice glass of wine or beer but only because it'd be too tasty to pass up. I'm going to frame all my best pictures and I'm going to let go of lingering memories. I'm going to work full-time and I'm going to Europe. And I'm going to England. And I'm going to meet up with my dear friend across the pond! But not before telling him, of course. That would be rude. And weird.

And I'm going to buy Chopin's Nocturnes. But only because I can't seem to download it successfully.

38 mins left of my 25th year and I'm ready for the next round!

Hot damn!

You are obviously too old to rock. Or just dumb.

Michael Corocran, an alleged Austin-American Statesman writer said the following about the ACL festival's desire to lure in a younger crowd:

"many more of the acts, such as the White Stripes, LCD Soundsystem, M.I.A., Kaiser Chiefs and the Decemberists, appeal to younger fans and expand the styles of music that fit under the "Austin City Limits" umbrella. About 60 percent of the crowd at last year's ACL Fest was 25 to 44 years old, according to a survey taken by fest marketers.

Expect a younger crowd at the 2007 outing. The legendary Dylan, who last played Austin in April 2003 and will play his first ACL set in Sunday night's closing slot, is the only act in the lineup's top tier who appeals primarily to the classic rock crowd. Last year's three top headliners — Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Van Morrison and Willie Nelson — appealed to an older audience."

read the rest right here.

First of all, a big "fuck you" for placing 25 year-olds in the same bracket as 44 year-olds. What acts do you think I'm going to see? The freaking Indigo Girls???

Second of all, The White Stripes, LCD Soundsystem, M.I.A. and the Decemberists all appeal to people primarily in their 20's. The White Stripes have been around long enough for most of my generation to grow up on, and M.I.A. is the kind of shit people in and out of college dig, I'd even go so far as to say that M.I.A. appeals to the 22-32 crowd. And The Decembrists... well the Decembrists will pull in an eclectic crowd, but surely after having them play the festival three years in a row they don't expect that all the young folks will line up at the gate to watch.

As for dissing Bob Dylan, another big "fuck you." Corocran says of Dylan being chosen as the headliner:

"That the fest lacks a flashy headliner, such as the Police or U2, is partly by design, said ACL booker Charles Attal of C3 Presents."

Ok seriously, who the hell cares about the Police or U2? I wouldn't pay 5 dollars to see the Police. I'd pay even less to see U2. But Bob Dylan? It's Bob Dylan! Bob Dylan transcends time, people. He speaks to the masses. He's not on some righteous crusade to help third world countries and he's not some dated 80s band. He's Bob Dylan. So you go straight to hell, Michael Corocran.

Also, keep in mind that charging $145 for three-day passes and $60-$80 for single-day passes creates the audience itself. A lot of younger folks don't have that kind of cash. I don't know how young ACL promoters are trying to go, but even at 22, I could only afford to go one day. ACL wants younger people attending their shows? Drop the prices, people. The 16-23 crowd will appreciate it. The old folks will be grateful too.

But really...

Where are you from Michael Corocran? And why are people hiring you to write professionally? 

If ACL wants the really young folks to attend the festival then 1. change the overall hippie theme, and 2. check out the Warped Tour's prices.

Furthermore, check out ACL's 2007 lineup here.

It isn't nearly as cool as Coachella's, but I'll go because it's 15 mins. away from my apartment.

I can't stress this enough, this is a REALLY BIG DEAL for all horror/zombie fans. If you have even the tiniest Z-shaped space in your heart for the undead you really must attend!

All information can be found here!

The zombie walk begins at 6pm. The meeting time is 5pm at the Tower of Americas in Hemisfair Park. For more information about that check the The S.A. Zombie Walk Blog.

And to entice you further, The Current has promised to provide the legal-aged zombies with a $5 admission fee (normally $25) to the Alefest, conveniently located at Hemisphere Park. So you'll get to walk around in zombie make-up and get your drink on for an hour before the walk.

Show your support and show up undead!

*****************THE DEAD HAVE WALKED**************

Click on the pic to see!

Maybe it's his charm, maybe it's that element of danger... maybe it's because he filmed a scene in which he fought naked in a sauna...

How can I, a mere mortal, define the hotness that is Viggo Mortensen? A man old enough to be my father, who gets hotter as he ages (Sean Connery ain't got shit) and who I wish I were my father so I'd have an excuse to open the door abruptly while he showers (that's dirty). But seriously whose dad is that hot anyway? Hot enough to drive you to incest? No one, that's who. Except for Viggo Mortensen.

If I were a man, or if I ever became one I would like to look like Viggo Mortensen, sure I'd probably have to work out a lot and grow about four inches (if midgets can, why can't I) to achieve even a mere resemblance to the god-like being that is Viggo Mortensen, but isn't that something to achieve? I've never been an over-achiever, or even an achiever, but this is something I could stive for.

And at the very least, I could find some way to break into his house so that I could walk in on him as he showers. I'd probably go to jail for that, but I don't mind. How many people can say they've seen Viggo Mortensen's junk first hand? Probably his girlfriends, but not strangers (excluding the crew of Eastern Promises).  

He's the epitomy of movie star cool because he's not lame like the other guys. No, he's mister badass with an extra serving of badassness. And to prove my theory, I leave you with this:

which translates as, "don't fuck around."

No. 4 - I think about Giant Drag's Wicked Game. I think about She Wants Revenge's I don't wanna fall in love. I think about Ok... wait, that would be a dead give away.

The Girls - Depeche Mode's Never Let Me Down Again. Cuz I really am taking a ride with my best friend(s).

Denholm - The Divinyls' I Touch Myself. Oh, you know it baby.

Jackie - That song by Scissor Sisters thats talking about being filthy and gorgeous. Fucking Jack and her profile songs.

Kokey - anything by Boyz II Men.

Ana - Justice VS. Simian's We Are Your Friends

Shaun - The Arcade Fire's Cars and Telephones (though he quoted it first), and Massive Attack's Protection.

Ramon - anything by Ani Difranco but specifically Two Little Girls (because that's all we really are).

and it was pretty ace. I'd say like twenty times better than the last time I saw them back in 2005. There was crazy moshing during that show. As Mike's brother Mark described it, "it was more of a fight than a show." Fuck yeah! I love fearing for my life... but just a little

Thanks to the very gracious Mike and Ana who invited me to the show a few weekends ago. It's always good times when they're around.

Here are the pictures:

it's a way of life.

I just wrote a comment on Lily Allen's "boo hoo someone called me fat" blog in which I consoled Lily by polking fun at Amy Winehouse. Apparently someone said that Winehouse was better than her or some really juvenile shit and Lily had a breakdown because she's 125ibs instead of 110ibs or something ridiculous like that. So Lily's got a thousand people telling her that she's awesome and what not and then I threw in my two clever little cents by saying:

"First of all, you're tiny. I've seen you up close. I know these things. Second of all, just because skele-whores are all the rage now doesn't mean that regular sized people are fat. It just means that the apocalpyse is near. Remember back in the 90s when Kate Moss was considered skinny? And now she's voluptous compared to the newer models? 'Tis a sad thing, Lily... we are living in a time when beauty is completey warped. I mean, Lindsay Lohan was picked as Maxim's #1 hottest this year. Bless her soul, she's a haggard little thing. And as far as Amy Winehouse is concerned, I threw up a little in my mouth when I read that someone said she was a better artist than you. I like you Lily, you can actually sing and you've got excellent taste. Amy Winehouse reminds me of someone that might nearly have been cast in Cry-Baby had Susan Tyrrell not come along to play Ramona Rickettes. So fret not Lily, people are just mean because they forget that at any given moment, they can be magically removed from the world by a large bus or Sports Utility Vehicle.  P.S. Cheryl Tweedy is on her way to becoming Posh Spice II. Oh god, here it comes again... bluh."

I was really just commenting on how being incredibly thin has been elevated to an outrageous level. And I'm sure being in the industry and having a little junk must feel like being the chick in high school who couldn't quite fit in her desk. But anyway, I polked at Amy Winehouse because well, I hate that fucking "Rehab" song. With the passion of a thousand fiery suns (don't use that, it's mine). So I've been giving ol' Amy shit since I heard it. Of course, being the curse of my life, I always find something really cool or interesting about someone right after I bash them leaving me painfully aware of what a cunt I can be. So there it is, Amy Winehouse. I understand that yours has not been an easy ride and that Lily Allen might just be a whimpering little twat. And seriously, who puts up a picture of herself crying in bed on myspace? Show some self-control.

So to you, Amy Winehouse, I apologize. But I still hate your song. 

And while I'm at it, nothin' but love for you Lindsay Lohan. But really, I liked you better when you didn't look as old as me.

it's a blessing and a curse, people. I'm still waiting for my bus to come...

1. Bikram Yoga - because it makes me lose two pounds per session.

2. The Kaiser Chiefs' Ruby - because it's the perfect summer song; directly followed by:

3. Waking up really early in the morning and listening to it. This also includes singing to said music while eating my breakfast.

4.  Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill.

5. Nirvana's Unplugged album.

6. pink polka dotted sandals.

7. Remembering the 80s.

9. Daniela - when she talks to me about treating schizophrenics with the use of "Abilify." Like I know what that means.

10. Crayons and construction paper - because people should never really grow out of that. It's not a phase, it's a form of art.