----Here, my friends, is, as the title states, a glimpse into the workings of my mind. I'm bored and have nothing to do and i stumbled across this while surfing the internet and decided to spend my free time putting it here for your enjoyment and to broaden and open your young (and some not so young, but still in need of opening) minds. Most of you should have no problem understanding it, as I've made it a habit to make (mostly, haha) intelligent friends over the years. I know it's a little oddly worded though, so i've included 'translations' every few paragraphs.----

Stoicism teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions; the philosophy holds that becoming a clear and unbiased thinker allows one to understand the universal reason.

Borrowing from the Cynics, the foundation of Stoic ethics is that 'good' lies in the state of the soul itself; in wisdom and self-control. Stoic ethics stressed the rule: "Follow where reason leads." One must strive to be free of the passions (remember that the ancient meaning of passion was "anguish" or "suffering"), that is, "passively" reacting to external events — somewhat different to the modern use of the word. 

The idea was to be free of suffering through apatheia, or apathy, where apathy was understood in the ancient sense — being objective or having "clear judgment" — rather than simply not caring , as apathy implies today.

----Basically what the past few paragraphs are trying to say is that while stoics DO feel, DO care, they see no use in clouding their judgment and minds with strong negative reactions, such as screaming, crying uncontrollably, getting angry, freezing with fear, etc.

Those of you who know me well enough know that if you walked up to me and punched me once, i would not get angry and leap on you. I would not scream and get all red-faced, because there's no reason for it. What would getting angry serve to do but cloud my mind and reasoning skills, possibly resulting in my doing something regretable?

You all know I would just stand (assuming i fell), rub my jaw, look you in the eyes and ask you what your reasoning was for striking me. Thusly the phrase "passively reacting to external events", comes into focus. There's no need to get all bent out of shape when you get into a fender-bender. What would it serve? The situation is bad enough, why worsen it by allowing negative emotions to make the situation worse. They didn't purposefully rear-end you (or vice versa), and even if they hit you as a result of doing something stupid (make-up, texting, etc), getting angry won't change the fact that it happened, and i can guarantee that they've already learned their lesson without your help. So what's the point in getting angry and defensive?----

For the Stoics, reason meant not only using logic, but also understanding the processes of nature — the logos, or universal reason, inherent in all things. Living according to reason and virtue, they held, is to live in harmony with the divine order of the universe, in recognition of the common reason and essential value of all people. The four cardinal virtues of the Stoic philosophy are wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance.

Philosophy for a Stoic is not just a set of beliefs or ethical claims, it is a way of life involving constant practice and training. Stoic philosophical and spiritual practices included logic, Socratic dialogue and self-dialogue, contemplation of death, training attention to remain in the present moment (similar to some forms of Eastern meditation), daily reflection on everyday problems and possible solutions, and so on. Philosophy for a Stoic is an active process of constant practice and self-reminder.

----Those last two paragraphs are simple enough to understand, merely elaborating on the ideas defined in the first few. I'm sure a few of you are starting to ask "why the hell am i reading this shit? What the hell is Pat talking about?" So here's a few cool quotes to finish up.----

"Man is not disturbed by "things", but by the views he takes of them"

"Get rid of the judgement, get rid of the 'I am hurt,' and you are rid of the hurt itself."

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." --My personal favorite--

"How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life!" 

alrighty, well most of you have known that i've planned on getting tattoos for a while, namely the black-light lightning on my arms.

well i came across something that i think i may need to do before even that, just because it's so badass. there's a pic posted in my pics section (who woulda thought?).

just an idea, but i want feedback. good? bad? what the hell are you thinking pat? stick with the lightning? etc etc.

be honest if enough people don't like it i won't do it, and vice versa.

a blog with a more detailed update of the recent events of my life will be coming... hell i dunno, probably in a few months or something, at the rate i blog.

some of you more astute people may have noticed the odd change of name? i want all you confused people to close your eyes for a second, and try to imagine what neon brown looks like.

if you manage to succeed (doubtful) i want you to immediately message me describing what it looks like, and then promptly check yourself in for a brain scan, because successfully imagining something that doesn't exist in any way (even in the mind) will likely result in mild to severe damage of some sort to vital areas of the brain.

love and peace

till i turn 21!! no huge party just yet, though. i DO have cool neighbors who work really early and have little kids, so i'm trying to find another place to have a wild party next weekend. if you wanna see me on my birthday then just swing by my house and hang out for a little while, don't expect alcohol though. nothing personal i love you all, but tuesday night itself will be spent having a quiet(ish) drink or five with my oldest friends out here matt and ben (chris is out of town). drunk dragonball z games on the nintendo wii (i know, they went there...), and sloppy d&d will ensue, but nothing more, sorry.

if anyone wants to be going to this party send me a message or leave me a comment here. if anyone has suggestions as to WHERE the party can be then send me a message and we'll talk.

oh and just cause i'm 21 doesn't mean i'm made of money. contribute by bringing alcohol or 5-10 bucks. no beer.

aside from that i spend my days looking for a job and listening to my new BA cd. tis' my favorite.

yes, there's now a part two. for the past few weeks i've had a problem with my left wrist. a few of you may have noticed the brace i'm usually wearing. due to overstress at work the joint fluid in my wrist has begun leaking out. it wasn't really painful, but it did make lifting a bit difficult as my wrist would feel weaker and weaker over time. well today i was getting ready for work when i bent my wrist and it started screaming at me, so to speak. near-crippling pain literally almost brought tears to my eyes, but i knew i had to go to work anyways cause if i didn't i would probably get fired (see previous post).

i called eddie for advice, cause we work together, and he said to call in. so i called work and my boss said (in a very annoyed uppity tone that made it seem like i did this to myself on purpose) that i need a doctors note by tomorrow or i'm fired. as difficult as it is to make same day doctor's appointments, that was practically a death sentence.

well it gets better: even IF i can make it to the doctor today, if the note says i can't lift for a little they said i'm fired anyways.

so lets recap: 

i have to make an appointment with the doctor for today, or i'm fired.

i have to bring the note in tomorrow, even though it's my day off, or i'm fired.

even on the off chance i accomplish the previous two, if the note says i can't lift, i'm fired.

it's like being told to run an impossible mile-long obstacle course in 10 minutes, and after you've finished all the obstacles there's a 400 ft. high brick wall right before the finish line anyways.

fuck this shit...

ok today is going to suuuuuuuuck. at like 9:00 AM this morning eddie calls me to say he can't go to work cause he's sick so i don't need to pick him up. now normally that sucks well enough on it's own cause on monday's it's just eddie and I there doing the grunt labor, so now it's just my 130 lbs self lugging all the weight all day. sucks even more today cause I also threw up about 10 minutes before eddie called me and was about to call in when he called. eddie is important employee who is valuable to the company. i am new guy who is easily canned if i prove to be too much trouble (such as calling in sick the same day for the same reason another employee does), so i gotta force myself to go to work and do all the grunt work for 8 hours WHILE i'm wanting to puke. what a day this will be...

so i'm taking my friend leah (pronounced lee-ya) to her senior prom cause her boyfriend's a loser and won't take her, it'll be the first time i've worn a tux in like... 5 years, cause i didn't go to my own prom.

just found out that i didn't make as many friends in california as i thought. i won't be listing names, but apparently some people decided to act totally cool around me for a year, then start bashing me RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND WHO HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF THEIR BEST FRIENDS, basically talking about how annoying i was and how i was such a joke while she's trying to hang with them and they're all expecting her to laugh with them and stuff.

(By the way, if i'm such a joke, why wait till i'm two-thousand miles away to start talking about it, hmmmmm? Pussies.)

So apparently only like, two of Bailey's friends (twins, though i met them seperately) are actually cool with me, and they're the ones that DIDN'T like me at first. Ironic, I didn't even hang out with them that much. The rest, however, are people that i hung out with a lot, spent time with telling jokes and hanging out, it was 'all good' as they say.

Well apparently it wasn't, i just wish they woulda thrown their verbal punches (weak though they may be) at ME, not my girlfriend when i'm long gone. That's just low, and you people call yourselves her friends, you disgust me.

I realize that not everyone can get along, believe me i do. But the concept i can't understand is pretending to be down with someone for almost a year, when all you had to say was "look man we just don't mesh well" and that woulda been the end of it. And you two are supposed to be really smart people. I remain unconvinced.

I hope one of them stumbles across this, and soon. I know they both have myspaces but they aren't on my list, so maybe someone will lead them to this. I had no problem with either of you, hell i even thought i was a damn good friend with one of you. Grow up and start telling people to their faces what's going on, cowering behind a mask is so... high school.

Peace out or piss off, you choose.

this is absolutely awesome to the highest degree.

curses, foiled again...

                               Pat

howdy everyone. just thought all you people should know i'm back on the east coast now for good. it's pretty sad though. before i left there were literally dozens of people that i had to say goodbye to and that said they couldn't wait for me to get back, etc. Well now i'm back, and i can count the number of people that are still here and in contact with me on ONE hand. so spread the fuckin word people, cause i'm fuckin bored.

Took that super personality test again to see if i've changed any and, well... see for yourself. These are the new results, if it's not too difficult for you then open this in a new window and compare it to the table that's on my page already cause that's the old one still. For some reason it posted the names of each personality aspect with a full html path, so just read the part that goes "...../types/HERE.html"  to know what aspect they're talking about. click for an explanation of what it means. After comparing and contrasting the new and the old leave me a comment and lemme know what you think.

yep... another update, the first one in like... 4 months?

well i didn't get the 360 (awwww) but i DID get warcraft 3 (yaaaay), some books and dvds and a few clothes for christmas.

spent new years in oregon with my brother. fuckin... crazy... that's all i have to say, and I didn't even DO anything like drink or anything while i was there and it was still nuts.

happy forkin new years by the way everyone. my new years resolution... wait, i didn't have one. nevermind.

so i'm officially coming back at the end of february. Less than a month and a half away (yaaaay). I will miss life out here though, and the woman i have to temporarily leave behind (awwwww). She's planning on going to Hampton University anyways so she's gonna come visit for spring break (yaaaaay) and i can introduce her to everyone that wants to meet here and the people that don't can... well... fuck off for all i care. Then after summer she comes down and starts school.

I have no idea why i'm doing the "yaay" and "awww" thing, so don't bother asking me.

Other than that i've been minorly sick lately, but some miracle concoction of my dad's seems to be knocking it out right quick. I'm serious in less than a day since i've drunk this stuff i feel loads better and i haven't taken any other medicine since that or anything.

Fuckin crazy man...

righto... well... hoping to throw a fatty party when i get home, so contact me if you're interested, and if you aren't then it sucks to be you.

so the couple of things i wanted to do while i was out here i obviously did not end up doing, like getting my motorcycle liscense and my tattoo. that sucks but they're still things i can accomplish on the east coast. hell it'll probably be easier to do the tattoo on the east coast with the amount of connections i have in the business.

ummm so merry christmas, happy new year, happy birthday to everyone's i've missed or will miss, peace, love, can't wait to see you all, adios.