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Last Updated: 7/1/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 36
Sign: Aries

City: Spokane
State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/24/2005

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Sunday, July 05, 2009 

Current mood:  distractable
Category: Writing and Poetry
She walks in water
Ankles wash in waves
Turning, dance and leave no trace,
Distance,
Can see the thunder,
She loves the rain yet hides
In the corner,
Does the height of sky
and depth of sea
Reach the heart of a child?
Those so left behind
To face the road alone,
Yet see the signal,
A truth ancient
And alive with the dawn
Cancels all reason,
Yet no flame ever burned so bright.

She is ablaze,
She burns within
And without consumed
Thirst never ending
Listen child,
To the footfalls of those before,
See the road that never ends,
The sea always churning,
Stars aswirl,
There is a light,
There is a time,
There is a voice.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009 

Current mood:  inquisitive
Category: Writing and Poetry
Wall, how high
Stands the blush of moonlit streets
A city where mirrors
Show you a dream.

Cold, this touch,
Yet so warm the light
I see the line between two worlds,
His eyes, her smile, its cry.

A dream, a blur,
A memory of the first time,
Can it speak?
If words, they burn.

Opens, where silence
Grows into a space,
Makes movement,
Births a sound.

You listen, and touch-
These words,
An embrace,
A passing.


Friday, October 24, 2008 

Current mood:  stoked
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I went for that interview at the Quality Inn today, and I was hired on the spot to be one of their front desk agents!  I have a job now in Spokane, woohoo!   I start on Saturday.  I'll be working full time afternoons and evenings.  I'm very excited.  This is the beginning of a great new life.  Thanks to all of you who were praying for me, your love and support have brought me so far.  I'll keep you all updated as to how it goes.
Thursday, October 23, 2008 

Current mood:  excited
Category: Life
Well, it's been far too long since I blogged.  And so much has changed in my life.  For those of you who don't know, Stephen and I recently made a huge step in life, and have finally escaped from Californication.  That's right, we left behind that golden state and it's crowded landscapes, agonizingly hot summers, polluted environment, sparse job market, and inflated cost of living.  For those of you still languishing back there in CA, I say to look northwards.  For myself, I feel like I've died...and come home to what I thought was Heaven.  But, it's called instead Spokane.

What a beautiful, surreal, peaceful city this is.  Surrounded by mountains and trees and much cleaner air than anything I saw back in CA.  Best of all, affordable rent, jobs to be found, and people who seem much friendlier and happy to be here.

We have found an awesome two bedroom in the Browne's Addition, which is a fabulous historic district of Spokane, filled with majestic old homes.  Our neighbors are perfect, just our type of folk...artists, hippies, bohemian types, gays, retired people, and young working professionals.  There's a great little pub up the street and a coffee shop nearby.  Looking out my window I see the colors of fall lining the trees and splashed across the street and sidewalks.  With every gust of cool mountain air, fiery hued leaves rain onto the quaint and quiet streets.  This neighborhood is like the best parts of Fresno's Tower District without all the gang banger crackhead bullshit.  It's so quiet that it's almost surreal.  I have to keep pinching myself to believe I'm here.

Stephen got a job at one of Spokane's oldest hotels as a chef.  He loves it and is doing very well there.  I'm still looking for work but I've had no trouble finding things to apply for.  Tomorrow I have an interview at a nearby Quality Inn hotel for a front desk agent position.  I'm very excited and confident about it.  I'll post asap if I get the job.

I've finally uploaded all the rest of my pictures from Lakeshore here to Myspace, and also some of the ones we took yesterday down by the river here in Spokane. 

Until next time, go with God and blessed be!  I love you all  :)
Currently listening:
Shimmering, Warm & Bright
By Bel Canto
Release date: 1992-09-22
Thursday, March 06, 2008 

Current mood:  contemplative
Since I haven't said much here, for far too long, I'm going to post another stream o' consciousness ramble.  I never edit these, so bear with me on it

Since the June
memories of blue;
Never long this sleep,
I am not dreaming this
passage.
The snow becomes me,
Far between are the roses,
and here and there,
the changing,
Forgotten only but a moment,
does what it must.
Wings once moonlit, now
are black upon the ice,
Calling,
Thaw, thaw!
The groaning stirs beneath
cracking walls, all.
Monday, June 18, 2007 

Current mood:  happy
So last night, Stephen and I took our sis and bro and two other friends, and we did a spontaneous night trip to Mono Hot Springs. Damn is it nice!! Mud pits and minerals do so much good for your hair and skin, also your stress levels and health! It smells like sulfur/rotten eggs when you get home, and the mud hike there is pretty gnarly, but when you get through it, you're sitting under the stars with friends, in a naturally heated pool which is like the bath water that never goes cold! we drank beers and chatted and just had a great time. Smeared that stinky mud all over our faces and pretended we were rich people at some snobby day spa. lol cool thing is we live just 45 min driv from Mono, and we don't have to pay a dime to go there, except for the gas costs. I'm absolutely addicted to the hots prings. We're going to go once a week. I always sleep like a baby the night after going there. The best way to experience them is to go in naked (which I've done once and it is awesome!) but bathing suits do well in not so private company, heheh!

We noticed last night that there was some kind of crazy alignement of 5 stars and the moon. I don't know wht it means but I'm going to find out. We did 'aums' and held hands in the springs, it was sooo spiritually uplifting. I love all of the people I've met here, and I love this place. I'm going to the hot springs again, very soon!! Anyone else who wants to tag along, if you cna brave the mud and don't mind a light hike by moonlight and flashlight, you're welcome!
Monday, June 11, 2007 

Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
I haven't blogged in far too long, and my life has changed so much since I last did!! Most of my family and friends know, that I now live and work in the mountains! I got a job as a reservationist at lakeshore Resort, up here at Huntington Lake. I absolutely love the job and this place. It is just too awesome. I'll be posting a lot of awesome pictures soon.

Stephen is working as a cook at the restaurant, and he loves it too. We are both discovering that life has so much to offer here. Most of all, we are happy to be making tons of money. We already have more money than we've had in years, and the busy season hasn't even started yet!!

I'll post a longer and better blog later. As of now I'm very hungry and gotta go make some dinner.

Love to all of you!!
Friday, January 05, 2007 

Current mood:  peaceful
Category: Blogging
This was the song that Gonzo/Frank Oz sang in the first Muppet Movie.  I love this song, especially the part about old friends who've just met...past life memories perhaps?  I believe.

This looks familiar, vaguely familiar,
Almost unreal, yet, it's too soon to feel yet.
Close to my soul, and yet so far away.
I'm going to go back there someday.

Sun rises, night falls, sometimes the sky calls.
Is that a song there, and do I belong there?
I've never been there, but I know the way.
I'm going to go back there someday.

Come and go with me, it's more fun to share,
We'll both be completely at home in midair.
We're flyin', not walkin', on featherless wings.
We can hold onto love like invisible strings.

There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met.
Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay.
I'm going to go back there someday.
I'm going to go back there someday.


Wednesday, November 29, 2006 

Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Art and Photography
I just posted some of the pix that were taken of me by local artist Alice Egoian I modeled for her recently and all I can say, is wow...just wow. I've needed some up to date photos for quite some time, these are just perfect.

Alice does absolutely beautiful work, be sure to check out her page and her art. ^_^
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 

Current mood:  pleased
Category: Writing and Poetry
*happy squeal*  In a burst of late night/wee early morning speed writing, I pulled through and reached the ever elusive 50k word mark.  I'm so happy!  This years story went even smoother than last years.  It's still only about halfway done but it is proving to be the best thing I've ever written.

Excerpt?  You want to read what happens when Ling Fu is sold to the highest bidder, her new Master, who proves to be something other than human...muahaha...anyways, this is a horror story, so where's the fun without nasty, blood drinking demons? XD
This is from the newest chapter, Chapter 6, titled, "Her Wings To Ashes"
****

The room on the other side of the divider was filled with men, all sitting at low jade and bamboo tables, smoking and drinking wine and tea, a musical ensemble played quietly in the corner, and my lute was on a small stool beside the dulcimer player. Soon, my performance would begin. My heart was pounding with anticipation.

Suddenly, everyone stopped talking. A voice that I recognized as the owner of the house of Floating Joy, called everyone to attention.

"My fine and honored friends, you have all been invited to the House of Floating Joy tonight for one special reason. Tonight, we are offering you the chance to behold a most rare of sights. For the eyes of you, the finest of our patrons and guests, and only for you of special invitation, we have the most beautiful, most mysterious of ladies in Canton. She is a true courtesan, and she has all of the skills that a man might desire."

Someone in the crowd yelled, "How skilled is she between the sheets?"

And the entire room laughed heartily.

I smiled to myself. My plans were going to work better than I thought, if these men's minds were already only thinking about my sexual abilities. How typically predictable. It was right to my advantage.

The owner of the Floating Joy continued. "Ah yes, she will be a tigress in the bedchamber one day. But do not be fooled, this young lady is a true virgin. We have certification of her intact condition by the venerable physician to our magistrate, Xiao Lo. You surely know, my friends, how rare it is these days to find a true virgin courtesan in Canton."

More laughter from the crowd. I closed my eyes, and focused all of my will, suppressed my nervousness.

"Here, to be seen for the first time, is Ling Fu."

I needed no further introduction, long winded as the owner of the Floating Joy always was. I drifted out from behind the divider screen, into the room so heavy with smoke and the odor of many men in one enclosed place. Round paper lanterns lit the corners, and in the dim light I could see some of the staring faces as I walked past, and took my place beside the musical ensemble. I set my lute upon my lap, smiling inwardly at how dead silent the room already was. I could feel the weight of all eyes on me.

I gathered my inward courage for the feat I was about to do.

The ensemble began to play a folk song that I knew well, and I let my fingers slide along the neck of the lute, the notes familiar and dull to play. I knew that this was standard procedure for every courtesan, men expected us to know how to play instruments and serve tea and make conversations, aside from looking beautiful all the time.

It was at that moment that I decided to show everyone that I was so much more than just an average courtesan.

I rose from my stool and set my lute down. I still had my fan tucked inside the sleeve of my blue silken robe. I pulled it out, and stood forth to dance.

I had rehearsed with the musical ensemble earlier that day, and this had not been a part of the rehearsal. They stopped playing a moment, staring at me in confusion and awe. But I smiled once at the percussionist and flicked my fan, and he took the cue. They started to play another song for me to dance to, and I was overjoyed that thus far my plan was working.

I had never been a very good singer or dancer, but I had taken enough dancing lessons to know how to move, how to step, how to use expressions.

The owners of the Floating Joy and my Auntie were probably angry, that I was going against the routine they had planned for my performance. I didn't care anymore.

Each little step, I pretended my feet were as fragile as lilies, and tried to be as graceful and simple as possible. My arms and my finely shaped hands, the fan an extension of my movement, my serenity. There were no rules to this dance. I made it up as I went along.

I turned my back to the audience, reached up with one hand and pulled out the pins binding my hair. It spilled out like a long, straight black mist around my body, down to my waist. Just like Lady P'an Chin-lien from my first Auntie's stories, I needed no formalities this night.

It was time to give them my grand finale.

As the music began to swell, I stepped forth into the middle of the room. I glanced a bit here and there, making eye contact with a few men as I passed. Highly improper, yet this was a courtesan's art, and social mores did not apply here.

I saw many mouths and eyes agape, heard several sighs and whisperings as I passed. I wanted them to see me, to stare in wonder, to catch my scent as I passed. I smelled as sweet as new jasmine blossoms, and I walked with the glide of a petal borne upon gentle wind. I wore no shoes, my feet bound up in silk ribbons, I held the front of my robe aloft as I moved, so every man could see how small they were. No woman at the Floating Joy could compare her big ugly feet to mine.

I had them all entranced, I knew. All eyes on me, as I wanted them to be.

Before anyone from the Floating Joy could stop me, I stepped onto one of the low, jade-topped tables, where there sat three noblemen in Mandarin dress. I glanced once around the room, saw that the owner of the Floating Joy stood by the far door with fists clenched, looking embarrassed and furious. I lifted my chin and stood as tall as I could, and then I pulled the tie of my robe off with one swift tug.

The music stopped just then, as everyone in the room stared, astonished, as I let my robe fall to the floor, and stood naked before the entire room, clutching only my fan demurely in front of my lowered gaze. I took one last step, extending my leg and tiny foot for all to see and admire.

The silence in the room was almost deafening. I don't think I've ever heard a more deep quiet than the one that occurred at that very moment.

Before I could move, or put my robe back on, before the owners of the Floating Joy could say anything, and as Auntie was storming towards me, her face a mask of rage, a man raised his hand and shouted.

"I will bid for her, fifteen taels of silver!"

"Twenty, twenty from the house of Sing here!"

A kind of madness ensued, a small crowd gathering around my table, I stood proud and unclothed before them all, never wavering in my bold demeanor, like the figurine of a goddess hewn from the palest of pearl. I looked out over them and was pleased to see that most of the potential buyers were Chinese, though to my dismay there were two or three foreign devils vying to bid for me as well.

I did not want to be purchased by a foreign devil, but would accept even that kind of life over a life remaining in this house of Floating Vermin as a whore. It didn't matter who bought me. I just wanted to get out of this place. I would go mad if I had to remain here one more day.

The bidding continued at a rapid pace. Until finally, a man stood forth, and made a grand proposal. He had a look of power and importance to him, a bit overweight, but surely from eating lots of fine food, a trailing mustache as long as his queue, and the long fingernails of an idle rich man. I noticed how a lot of other men sat down, and realized the man with the mustache must be of some great respect among them.

He was exactly the type of man I wanted, and I was pleased to see him bid for me.

"I will fill both of her little shoes with silver to have her," he said. "If anyone can best me, let him stand forth."

A surprised murmur went over the crowd, it would take an enormous amount of silver, a price almost unheard of in Canton, to fill my shoes with silver taels. I couldn't resist a smile. I had every man in this room caught up in my net, and I was loving every moment. It was like a game that I knew I was going to win, no matter what, and so far I made all the rules.

After a few seconds of continued silence, another man stood up, from a table in the corner.

"I represent the honorable Qi Shu-min," he said. "And my Master will best your offer, noble sir, by filling both of the lady's shoes with pure yellow gold."

The man who had bid to fill my shoes with silver just stood there, staring at the younger man in the corner. He began to laugh.

"Now that would be quite something to see, young man," he said. "If you can indeed pay with such an incredible sum, let's see you do it, right now! Fetch the lady's shoes!"

Cries went up from every table, a raucous crowd of half drunk and lust-filled men. I was completely stunned by the bid just offered.

No one in Canton had much yellow gold, it was rare and expensive. I myself had never seen it, only heard what it looked like. This servant of the man named Qi Shu-min was either bluffing, or his Master was rich beyond imagining. My heart skipped a beat at the thought. All I could do was stand, watch, and wait.

I glanced over at my Auntie, who stood in the corner with the owners of the Floating Joy, all of them looked stunned by the scene before them. Served them right, to think that they could tell me what I should do to attract buyers

I knew I was better than all of them. And now I had proved it to everyone, by merely removing my clothing. I flicked my fan once, laughing inside at the simple and ridiculous nature of all this. I wished these silly men would just hurry and decide who was going to buy me. I was getting tired of standing on the table, my feet beginning to ache all the way up into my legs. But, I stood and did not move lest I distract the proceedings.

Both of the men who had bid to fill my shoes stepped forward. I saw that the younger man was also finely dressed, though he looked very austere, almost like a scholar or an Imperial official, not like a nobleman's servant. He had a boyish face, which hinted at being handsome, except that it was too soft, almost pudgy.

Neither of the men looked at me, they just stared at each other, and then at the servant who brought my shoes into the room upon a silk pillow.

They set my shoes on the table, right in front of my feet. The young representative of Qi Shu-min had one of his own attendants come forth, with a heavy bag strapped around his belt.

The servant opened the bag, and without delay or presumption, he began to pour coins made of shiny yellow metal into my shoes. First one, and then the other, while the entire room stared, dumbfounded.

"Such is the bid my Master offers you, noble sirs of the House of Floating Joy," the young representative said. "My name is Wong Tse Chin, and if no one can beat this offer, then I claim the girl for my Master."



Currently listening:
Idylls
By Love Spirals Downwards
Release date: 10 June, 1997