Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 37
Sign: Taurus
State: Massachusetts
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/26/2005
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July 11, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Life
"Back in my day..."
Yes, it's the familiar mantra of the truly despondent, myopic, patronizing and short sighted.
We abhorred it when our parents waxed nostalgia about their days of yore. Yet, we show little regard for our own sensibilities about these notions when we are discussing our past.
We mesmerize ourselves with tales of how music was so much better, entertainment in general was a cut above and we were so much more with it than the generation we preceded.
Entertainers, such as they are, were much more substantive and prolific back in our day. Sure. These days kids mindlessly follow trends and join the fandom of Lady Gaga and Mylie Cyrus.
Since I haven't heard the catalog of each entertainer, I can't say I like or dislike either of them. I do know their particular genre of music is not my personal preference and my niece seems to have an unbending affinity for each entertainer.
But after a quick review of my musical tastes during my teenage years (I do believe I considered New Edition and Gerardo to be cool), I have no leg to stand on. It's normal to like such ear candy at such a tender age. Our tastes change over time (at least they should). Now, I prefer Lou Reed and Mendelssohn over Bobby Brown and Warrant. Things change.
We often forget that we, too, had our share of marginally talented, bubble gum artists who we followed fervently. In fact, bubble gum music is no new thing. Do Duran Duran and Kajagoogoo ring a bell? Lest I forget David Cassidy.
Us older folks may contend that we contributed more and we were the "greatest generation". But, upon further review we may look back on our legacy with a little more caution. Considering the harm our current and previous generations have done to
the environment, human relations globally and the economic environment perhaps
we should reconsider this line of thinking.
If anything the thinkers and cultural figures from the 17th and 18th centuries must be the ones who had the hardest time realizing how the following generations never quite lived up to their achievements. Imagine being the child of Galileo, Sir Isaac Newton or a Revolutionary crusader? Now, that would be a tall order. I bet even Newton got flustered and shook his head when he noticed his son was following the latest fashion trends. Imagine the annoyance he experienced as he noticed his son (had he had one) wearing white knickers after Labor Day?
The fact of the matter is each generation seems to believe their generation was superior to the ones that follow. Perhaps, they too were processing their own thoughts through their own biased filter. This type of negativity leaves little hope for our future, at our own peril. Why not just stop everything now? There is no possible way anyone could top what we accomplished.
In reality, young men and women, and younger folks, are making strides to better our world. We seem to only focus on the "slacker" who watch reality television and eat far too many pizza bites. This is not the case with all of our younger generations, however.
Whether they are protecting our freedom, patrolling our streets, advancing our medical and scientific frontiers or simply doing their part to help others, younger people are making a difference. They may even be eclipsing our achievements. They did create twitter after all.
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June 11, 2009 - Thursday
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Category: Pets and Animals
I had always considered myself a “dog person”. After all, cats are fickle, temperamental and distant. Maybe I have more in common with cats than I previously thought after all. At least, this is how I felt until I took in Maggie. Now, I consider myself a "pet person".
Maggie was the family cat that my parents let me care for because they were traveling often and they were not home to be able to care for her. For 19 years, 8 of which she spent with me, Maggie brought so many smiles and happiness to many of my drab days.
People say the great thing about dogs is no matter how bad of a day you have they are always happy to greet you. They don’t judge you nor do they care about what mistakes you made at work or in your personal life. While this is true, the same can be said for cats. Really, it can be said for just about any pet.
Maggie was really “my cat” well before I took her in some 8 years ago. Before I had moved out on my own, Maggie would lie next to me while I watched television, read or just relaxed in an easy chair. And, sure enough, each morning she could be found lying at the edge of my bed. Our bond became stronger when she officially became my cat.
Through everything, the good days and the bad, she was there. She was the one who was there for me. In fact, she was one of the closest beings in my life. After all, I saw her everyday. The same cannot be said for some of my closest friends or even my family.
Instinctively, I look at her chair, still covered with her fur, expecting to see her. I still half expect to see her greet me when I open the door to my apartment as she always would, even in her last few days. Each unexplained noise initially makes me think she’s the source, if only for a moment.
For just one split second I expect to see her lying on the cool tile of my bathroom just before I slide the shower curtain aside only to remember it is not to be. That split second is the highest level of anxious emotions, only to be dashed so harshly by reality. That may be the cruelest type of emotional spectrum we can experience in such a short period of time. That one split second when you forget and your hopes are apparent can be so exciting, though.
I miss the little things that made her so unique. I miss hearing her scratching the door or hanging from the doorknob as she tried to turn the knob (sometimes she seemed to smart for her own good) while I tried to sleep or shower. In fact, I would always keep my doors open because I knew trying to keep the door closed and rest or relax in peace would be futile. I miss how she would leave her tiny paw prints on the kitchen floor after she spilled her water dish and walked over the tiles.
I remember how she used to look at me when I held her or patted her. I also remember the way she looked at me when she was near the end and she needed my help because she could no longer walk. The helpless look in her eyes was heart wrenching.
After 19 years of happiness and companionship, Maggie left me. It was without question the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I did my best to make her final moments as comfortable as possible although she had declined sharply over a short period of time. Up until the very end I was with her.
I don’t think some people understand the bond and emotional connection we can develop with our pets. They are not like some disposable houseplant or a “thing” that we can easily replace like some household ornament or decoration. They leave a lasting imprint on our lives. 
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May 30, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Life
From the early days of human civilization we have been a curious people. This curiosity and desire to use knowledge to our benefit has helped us become more knowledgeable, more advanced and more civilized. But, is knowing always for the best? Don’t we lose a piece of our innocence when we know some things? Many of the most basic explanations in our everyday lives were once mysteries. There was a belief held by many that when the sun turned red during an eclipse it meant the gods were angry. Christopher Columbus used this myth against the natives to his benefit while he was stranded on an island. Clearly, the natives would have preferred to have this mystery debunked. There are many other examples of how our shared curiosity has helped us advance. Darwin explored the mystery of evolution. Newton explained the mysteries of, well, just about everything. Carl Sagan delved into the mysteries of the cosmos. Yet, questions still remain. There are still many mysteries yet to be explained. But, do we always need to know the answers to all of the mysteries? Even a curious mind can embrace mysteries. Albert Einstein once said, “the most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.” If it’s good enough for Einstein, then it should be good enough for the rest of us. Look around you. Mysteries abound. There’s the mystery of whether we are alone in our universe. There is the mystery of Stonehenge. There’s the mystery of what the heck Megan Fox was doing dating Brian Austin Green. There are so many mysteries in our everyday life. We may be able to theorize with some confidence that we began with a “big bang.” However, what was there before the Big Bang? In fact, some recent theories by respected experts have questioned the Big Bang theory in part or in whole. It should really be no big surprise that we are questioning such widely held conventions. How are we expected to know about such things with any certainty when you consider we have only had the technology to gain an understanding of our universe for such a short time. Forget about the big bang, though. The mere fact that we are all inhabiting this rock at this time may be the biggest mystery. How and why are we all here? We take for granted the most basic mysteries of life. Granted, there are some things we should all know about. In fact, it is dangerous to not be aware of some of the risks in our lives and the previous mistakes that we have made. Sometimes, people rely on outdated customs, folklore, superstitions, group thought and the sort to explain these mysteries. Such is human nature. However, are some mysteries best left unknown? Must we try to explain everything? Do we do a disservice by removing the magic and mystery of some parts of our lives? Are some secrets innocuous enough that we can leave them be and not risk any serious harm to ourselves? I always watch the magician’s secrets revealed shows. I want to know how the magician’s trick us into thinking they escaped some near death experience or pull a rabbit out of a hat. However, I always feel shortchanged when I watch these programs. For one, the tricks usually aren’t as complicated as you might think.
Secondly, I feel as though I have removed a special kind of magic and innocence from a small part of my life. I feel like I have removed a buffer of escapism from my life. besides, isn't work, our personal lives and schoolwork all about explaining things? Isn't leaving some things unknown more interesting? I still watch these programs, though. The temptation to know is stronger than the desire to be enthralled in the mystery of it all. I always seem to be in the midst of such dilemmas. Whether it is divulging some lesser known information in a blog or revealing secrets to strangers in some other way. Even while I am on vacation I can’t seem to resist spilling the beans. . Last Halloween, my sister and I took my niece and nephew to the historic town of Salem, MA. While on a walking tour of the “witch city” we passed by a cemetery in which some of the key figures from the Witch Trial era were buried. While we took photos of the area strange white orbs appeared on many of our photos. The tour guide told us the orbs we saw while taking photos of the nearby cemetery were actually the spirits of the dead people from the Salem Witch Trial Era and the like. Having been told differently by a friend and fellow photographer, I began to speak up and explain the real reason for the presence of these mysterious orb- like lights. My sister, noticing I had begun my explanation, told me to stop and let people believe what they wish. In the spirit of the season, I figured it might be better to let the mystery live on. After all, I wasn’t about to divulge the secrets of the universe or some other important revelation. Besides, people can always find out on their own without me opening my big mouth and raining on their parade. Sometimes a little mystery is a good thing.
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May 26, 2009 - Tuesday
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Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
People often say life imitates art. If this is the case, it would say a lot about our own lack of creativity, lack of uniqueness and ability to open ourselves to new ideas. The lion’s share of movies produced today are re-makes of other films, sequels, are based on books or, to a lesser extent, are based on real life events. Creativity, such as it is, is a lost art. The movie/sequel trend speaks more to our own inability to embrace different forms of art. Rare is the instance when you will find a successful movie truly free of a direct link to some other book or film. Of course, there are some who will say everything is influenced by everything else. We all influence one another. OK, this, of course, is much like one saying there probably has never been one original thought, except for man’s first original thought. Which influenced all thoughts thereafter which makes this whole argument moot, I suppose. It also makes for a flimsy point of view. Often films which shouldn’t have been made once let alone twice, ahem Prom Night. The arguments people make for the remake genre is that younger people may have not seen the original film. To which I might suggest such new innovations as netflix and youtube. Ironically, my aversion to the remake or movie based on the book film genre is that they do little to pay the homage to the original version that they are due. These films rarely live up to the original and misrepresent the original movie’s plot and message. This is the ultimate form of disrespect one can pay to the creators of the original production. Do you hear that? That would be Alfred Hitchcock rolling in his grave as he remembered once again what a travesty Vince Vaughn and D.J. Caruso did to his original films (Psycho and Rearview Window). Laziness and an easily impressed public are the biggest culprits. Rather than using previous films as inspiration for their own creativity, film makers revive the roles of box office diehards, no pun intended. Why take the time, creative energy and risk to produce something unique, unknown with an unsure box office result when on can bank on the unoriginal, familiar and predictable? We are the ones to blame ultimately since it us who continue to settle for mediocrity and the usual. The great thing about not making film about something that has been written about or about a figure that is not well known is that we are exposed to something new and maybe even learn something new. Now, Hollywood seems stale, predictable and played out. In unrelated news, Zac Efron is starring in a remake of the widely acclaimed 17 Again. Pause for collective yawn. This is why the efforts of Paul Thomas Anderson, Alfred Hitchcock and Quentin Tarantino are so laudable. Their art was not based on anything other than their own creative minds and unique perspectives. In reality, television is much more creative than the film industry. From Star Trek to Sex And The City, television has been inspiring and driving the movie industry for decades. Of course, Sex And The City was a book in its original form. Some estimates say that somewhere between 60 to 80% of the movies we watch in theatres are based on books, comic books or television shows. Without the book or television industry, the movie industry would nary be able to produce a movie. On second thought, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. So, then, why do people continue to watch dry, unoriginal, copy-cat films that are virtually solely based on other forms of art? Well, for one who wants to devote the time and energy to reading? Why make yourself think when you can allow the director to do so for you? Especially whenever a profit is possible, Hollywood is only more than willing to oblige you. A more apropos reason why people watch contrived not-so-reality shows, dim witted sitcoms that perpetuate stereotypes and, to use the term liberally, competition shows on television and film is as George Costanza of Seinfeld fame stated, “Because it’s on TV.” People will watch anything than to have to sit idly quietly with their thoughts, pursue an interest outside of the couch potato realm. Beyond being “entertained” (to each their own), I have heard people describe watching television and movies as being “therapeutic” or as being a way to “unwind.” However, watching mind-numbing television and movies are not the only ways to unwind. there are other ways to unwind. I think it is fair to say people used to unwind before television and film were invented. People used to do a thing called going for a walk and talking to other people. Alas, we are slaves to our devices. I had made an informal vow to myself to attempt to always read the book version before I watch the film version of said book. Based on my informal estimated calculations, if I only took breaks for bread and water and quit my day job I might be able to read half the movies released each week. That is unless I ever wanted to sleep. So, I decided to read the book and forgo the movie. We are all inspired and influenced by other people and other art forms. For instance, George Lucas was inspired by Joseph Campbell’s The Hero With A Thousand Faces. However, Lucas’s film had a much different take. When we watch a movie based on books we are only getting the director’s perspective. We could view things quite differently. Of course, isn’t that what we want? Someone to tell us the story rather than figuring it out for ourselves? Therein lies the risk. It’s much easier and safer to just copy a book or let someone else doing the thinking for us. It’s also more profitable and usually successful for directors to just copy. The difference between merely copying others and being influenced by others is what makes one person great and another person a success.
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May 17, 2009 - Sunday
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Growing up, we’ve all known the outcast or “bad boys” of our school. Despite my proper manner, somewhat popular hobbies and straight and narrow way, I have always been drawn to those who don’t toe the mark. I suppose you could say that is precisely why I am drawn to these types.
I remember the first time I struck up a conversation with Rob. We were on a field trip to George’s Island, an island just a stone’s throw away from Boston Harbor. Rob was wandering alone finding his own way around the island and trying to sneak a smoke or two while out of eyeshot of the ambivalent chaperones. Curious and bored, I decided to see what this “bad boy” was really all about. I suppose you could say our friendship sprouted during this wet and cold spring day.
Before I met Rob, my summer days were a blur of stickball, trading baseball cards and video game playing. Before I met Rob, talking to a girl was tantamount to sticking tongue in an electrical outlet. But, Rob showed me there is more to life than silly games and to not fear the unknown. Despite his best efforts, I never really overcame that second fear.
It was Rob who gave me my first (and one of few) cigarettes. It was Rob who introduced me to the other neighborhood “bad kids“ whose reputations far exceeded their actual deeds. It was Rob who exposed me to a whole other side of music, culture and life.
Rob opened a whole new world to me. While my other friends were listening to Madonna and Michael Jackson, Rob was more interested in classic and modern rock . I remember when he first cued up his brother’s collection of 45’s and the sounds of The Eagles, Aerosmith and AC/DC emanated from his discount stereo system. I have been hooked ever since. While these bands are essentially mainstream rock bands by today’s standards, it was an eye opening experience when I was still in my preteen years. In fact, I remember making fun of him for liking the Rolling Stones because Mick Jagger looked “weird”. In fairness, I did have a point.
I remember my parents asking me one day if Rob was a “street kid.” because of his rougher ways and the fact he basically only slept at his own home. Rob also had an affinity for hunting knives and other sharp objects. They weren’t bothered by this description, or at least so they claimed. But, one part of me felt they would be more comfortable with me throwing baseballs instead of throwing Chinese Throwing Stars.
Rob introduced to me to many of the preteen curiosities I had been sheltered from in my milquetoast suburban adolescence.. At the same time, Rob, and most kids like him, is he really wasn’t any different than most of the kids in his class. He had the same carefree spirit, comedic sense and the typical boyhood curiosities. Even though his tastes were different and often more advanced than our childhood counterparts, he still shared many of the same traits of any other kid growing up. We were, after all, just kids.
That’s the rub of depicting a child one way or another. By the time we were in junior high school we were already fitted into one group or another. Hint, I was considered the “jock” or the class genius. So, Rob and I had more in common than I originally thought. I was just less cool about expressing my rebellious side. But, at the core, we’re all pretty much the same. Virtually every kid, regardless of whether they like the Rolling Stones or Madonna, still has largely the same interests. We all get excited when school gets cancelled and the holidays approach. But, it was this reputation that seemed to follow Rob.
I remember one time we were browsing the magazines at a local convenience store that has long since gone out of business. One of the clerks kept following Rob and badgering him about having to “buy something or leave”. Ironically, as all of this was happening I had stolen one of Rob’s favorite magazines for him (Guns N Ammo of course). I think the statues of limitations has expired so I should be in the clear.
As I so inconspicuously stuffed this publication under my shirt, I was never even acknowledged as all of this was happening. Simply because of his appearance, perceived reputation (ironically I never once saw him fight and he seemed to get along with everyone) and perhaps his older brother’s rep didn’t help, he was besieged by teachers, clerks and a wide assortment of law and order types. Truth be told, I got into much more trouble in school and at home. I just didn’t “look the part.”
Many years later, I ran into Rob at a keg party some years later at a high school graduation party of a mutual friend. He was still the same Rob, this time with a moustache. As I was heading off to college and he was off to join the workforce just as he had planned all those years ago when we used to dream and make plans about what we would do when we “grew up.” As is often the case with childhood friends we lost touch.
I still seem to be drawn to people who follow their own path and tend to buck the system and the common conventions that we so easily can be lead to. Yes, Rob left a stronger impression on me than he probably ever realized.
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May 4, 2009 - Monday
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Category: Romance and Relationships
So much of what happens in our lives has more to do with circumstance, chance and coincidence than anything else.
Some may attribute these occurrences to a higher power, some unavoidable, predestined fate or the fact they tossed salt over their shoulder before they left their house. All of these probably have about the same chance of being the reason.
However, much of what happens in our lives are beyond our control. Unless, we collectively joined together to promote a cause, which seems to happen less and less frequently these days, we have little power over the forces and outcomes in our lives.
Contrary to what some may think, when it comes down to it we control very little in our daily lives. Lawfully, we can be fired for just about any reasons (within the limits of equal law protections) with no notice.
We can’t control whether the person driving behind us will apply their brakes in time to stop before rear-ending us.
We cannot control whether we will be in the ‘wrong place at the wrong time” and subject ourselves to a dangerous situation such as a bank robbery. I suspect that if we could avoid such an experience we would attempt to do so.
As the saying prophetically states: life happens.
This is what unnerves so many of us. For, we may do all of the right things. We can be in the right, if you like, as much as possible. This does not necessarily mean other people will act accordingly or react in a manner we deem fit.
We can’t control whether someone else will return our advancements and embrace our longings. This is what makes the act of falling in love and connecting with another so magical. It’s the fact that two people can find comfort and common ground in a world so topsy turvy. That with all of the difficulties and hardships in life two people can meet and become one.
Imagine all of the people you have loved Imagine all of the people who have loved you or expressed an interest in being by your side. Then, consider how many of these connections panned out. Consider how unique we each are and, despite these differences (or because of them), we can find togetherness with another. This is especially unbelievable when you consider how some people are. This makes the odds of hitting the lotto seem like an everyday event. Yet, it does happens everyday.
People will try to punch holes in the suggestion that love, or the illusion of love, is just that: an illusion. However, if you do love another and that love fades or leaves you did you not love them at some point? Did you not carry fond loving thoughts with you? I find it hard to think otherwise.
There would be those who think how I once thought - that people settle. So, it’s not really “magical” but rather practical. This, besides being presumptuous, is partly the problem. By being negative and believing the prospects of love are too elusive and rare that it cannot be found by so many we perpetuate the emptiness we may feel.
While I lay in bed as a youngster, I used to think it was “cool” at the time that I was connected to my grade school crushes of the time. I was in my bed wistfully dreaming of them although they were many miles, or in some cases blocks away. I was in a sense with them despite this difference in space. There was a feeling of togetherness within me. While I could not hold their hand or watch them discreetly in home room class I had this connection in my heart and mind. They had a piece of me. We were together in an abstract way.
Little did I know she was often wistfully dreaming of another or joyfully in another’s arms. Such hard lessons are often learned at such a tender age.
It was my first heart felt experience with unrequited love, or, more accurately, crushes. There would be many more to come. There would be missed opportunities (or were they really missed opportunities if they weren’t to be?) Yes, it’s all very confusing indeed.
But, I’ll still keep trying, the forces be damned.
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May 2, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Life
Our lives really come down to moments.
Life is not a collection of memories. Rather, life is a collection of moments.
When I think of loved ones, I don't think of a series of events unfolding systematically. I don't think of the weekends or evenings I have spent with loved ones. I think of the moment she told me she loved me. I think of the moments she looked at me and we both knew. I think of the moment our lips first touched.
I think of that one moment that is ingrained in mind for a lifetime. That one momnent that is engraved in my heart and mind. I think of the moment we shared a comfortable silence in each other's arms. I think of the moments (there is sure to be more than one) when my niece or nephew blurt out an off the wall answer while we play a board game.
It can be more than a special moment between lovers. I remember sharing the solitude of looking along the sunset before heading out on our day together and the anticipation of a special day together more than the hectic events we shared.
Moments define us. There are specific moments that shape us and can become turning points in relationships.
I don't remember the spicy dinner and hearty wine we shared. For, it could have been any old dinner. Rather, I remember the knowing stare we shared. Knowing you were in complete harmony and bliss. The fleeting moment you caught her eye is what stands out. Or, it could as seemingly harmless as the moment you wiped away her tear or when she held you when you received tragic news. I remember the time we shared a hearty laugh over some humorous moment unique to just us. Really, everything else can be filler.
When is the last time you were truly happy? Do you traverse the world with a content grin and starstruck eyes? Do you always float on air as though life's hardships never existed? More than likely you have a life filled with of ups and downs peppered with moments of absolute bliss that stunt the hardships we all face.
Think about the one moment when you were truly happy. Think about that fleeting period when nothing else could interfere with your happiness. Nothing else truly mattered except your temporary contentment.
We all need these momentarily or temporary respites.
Life is full of easy reminders life is not perfect. Everything from the latest news topic, your utter and complete feeling of loss to the arthritis in your wrist are reminders life is not perfect. Yes, some pain is less profound than others.
For me, nothing can compare to the elusive momentary contentment that only that special person can bring.
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April 18, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Romance and Relationships
One inopportune glance can alter your entire day.
It’s startling how one seemingly innocuous observation can bring with it the sharpest reactions.
The sudden, unexpected glimpse of an object of our desires can be more captivating than any provocative display. It isn’t the obvious, direct appeal to your senses that can take your breath away but rather it is the subtle, almost unperceivable appeal that can rouse your feelings and send you spiraling down the slide show of memories.
It’s not the plunging neckline that catches the eye. But, rather, it’s the slightly exposed neck that we see when she brushes her hair out of her way that is eye catching. It’s the disheveled hair rather than the kempt hair (sorry ladies) that often stands out. These are what we remember. That was “our neck” and we used to make the disheveled hair we now see. These are more intimate and unique to us.
The sudden glimpse that ignites the memories and emotions can stop even the strongest man in his tracks. One single glance, touch or even a smell can trigger a memory. One moment, deep in thought about the fate of the starting rotation of your favorite sports team, the grim fate of your favorite reality cast member or some other crisis. The next moment you’re swimming in memories so clear they feel as though they occurred just that moment. It happens that swiftly. It’s that powerful.
A momentary observation can bring flushes of warmth, waves of frustration and cutting disappointment seemingly all at once. It is this distinct inability to control our better senses that is most unnerving. For the memories of kissing the supple neck and the caress of her soft hair across your skin are all too real. You’re at the mercy of that one glance.
So powerful are these glances, it’s as though you can still feel the touch and smell the feint fragrance of her skin. You can feel each strand of hair through your fingers. It’s as though months or years of memories come crashing down in one glance.
One short glance can seem to last a lifetime.
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March 24, 2009 - Tuesday
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Category: Romance and Relationships
How long is forever?
The truth of the matter is forever can be a very short time. What we may think should or can last forever doesn’t always come to fruition. A temporary feeling of bliss can make us view our future in a very different light. This, in essence, makes the fleeting seem like eternity.
But, while true love may fade over time does it ever vanish? Deep in the recesses of our memories is there not am inkling of tenderness and affection for the one we once cared so much for?
It is said that many years ago when a woman in the old country (insert country of heritage here) lost her husband to a war or other tragedy, she would adorn herself in black and mourn his loss for years. She would think of any other man but her beloved, often times dying without ever requiting the love she once lost. For they had found their love of a lifetime.
Now, in this ADD-driven age of ours, it seems we have many lifetimes given this analogy. For too often, it’s on to the next adventure. As though the sooner we jump into a new relationship the better.
There is an intrinsic desire to love and to be loved. It is such a strong yearning that it can overtake our judgment. Our longing for companionship can replace the lingering comforts of our lost love.
We feel the need to fill the void. Our memories only encourage us to one day experience these feelings again. Of course, this next time it will be even better we convince ourselves. And these feelings will feel even stronger because they are newer feelings. As is the case with most of our lives, we live in the now. Now is better. Now is stronger. But, the now, too, is only temporary.
Before I raise the ire of the happily married/dating people, I admit to having the luxury, if you call it such, of being single which allows me write such things. For, if I have been experiencing this new found emotional sensation I wouldn’t expect anything else. Nor, would I want to be rational, measured or even toned in my expressions and thoughts of love. Isn’t that the whole point? To lose ourselves in our joy?
Our overly optimistic dreams of love fuel our lust for love. But, just how special and unique are our illusions of love if we can simply wash them away as though they were toxic memories that never had any merit?
Why must we have the determination to move against the tides of emotional attachment? Dwelling, in some degree, is only part of the process of moving on. It cheapens the depths of true utter love to think we can just move on as though it was as involuntary as breathing.. Hearts and broken spirits line the path to love. We must’n mistake the desire for human connection and closeness for love and the appearance of destiny.
Eventually, we may think we have found that elusive one. We embrace the lofty sensations of wholeness and oneness until we lose it. This temporary utopia is often gone as soon as we found it. Consider how many times we’ve been bound to another without reservation and yet in time it’s gone. It becomes yet another distant memory.
I suppose all of those other previous relationships were all just horrible mistakes no matter how many wonderful moments were shared. In the end, do we really find that one or do we settle for where we are in our life? Is it really the one or just a distraction from the emptiness left by another? The rate of divorce and failed relationships in general might hint to this. I really don’t think we have a clue as to what we want or need, except to say we need to fill the void.
A love of a lifetime is just that: a lifetime.
In reality, we are lucky to meet one or two people that really get us (especially me). That is the wonder that is love. This passion and deep seated emotional connection we call love is not something you can find just anywhere. We’ll maybe find it once. Twice if we’re lucky. But, can lightning really strike twice? Given how rare and seemingly unattainable love is, it’s more like lightning hitting the same place twice in the span of 24 hours. It can happen. But, it’s somewhat unlikely.
If we really love someone as deeply and with all of our soul, we’d never find it again. Or, we may never find that one truly perfect one for us. Wouldn’t that be the true sign of a love so unique?
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January 31, 2009 - Saturday
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Category: Life
Recently, a survey revealed that 46% of Americans who responded said they would rather live somewhere else. While certainly a high percentage, it is not the majority of people. Most people tend to stay around their familiar surroundings.
This survey is somewhat misleading. While I love my home state of Massachusetts and the New England area, I would not be averse to living in more tropical climates. I would not be averse to living in areas I have visited in the past and left an impression on me and would bring me closer to family, such as California where I have family. Besides, how does one really know if they would prefer to live somewhere else?
Photographs and second hand descriptions do not do some things justice. We have to smell the aroma of colorful flowers that illuminate our state parks. We have to dip our toes in the soft, tepid water to fully appreciate the beaches and lakes.
So many things bind us to where we live. There are job considerations, especially in this job market. There are family concerns. Is it reasonable or in the best interests to move away from loved ones or pack up the family? There is fear of the unknown. What if we don’t like our new surroundings or things don’t work out? There’s always a “honeymoon period” when we move to new surroundings. It’s exciting and new to spend time in a new place. This doesn’t always remain the case, however.
If everyone, or even the majority of people, who wished they lived elsewhere acted on their desires, the number of people wishing they lived elsewhere would be lower and most everyone we know would have made at least one big move in their lifetime.
The fact of the matter is most people don’t make that big move out to their dream destination.. Most people I know have lived the majority of their lives and will more than likely spend the rest of their lives in the same community or state. Why is this?
Is it just too much of a hassle to pick up and move? Are we really that lazy? In some cases this may actually be true. The tendency to laziness should never be underestimated.
Money is undoubtedly a factor. Not everyone can afford to live in Manhattan or in San Francisco.
Where we are from and where we live becomes part of who we are. Each weekend, millions of sports fans pledge their allegiance to their favorite hometown sports team and athletes. They devote their hearts and souls to these teams.
Ask anyone where they are from and they are just as likely to tell you “The Granite State” (New Hampshire) or the “Show Me State” (Missouri). We take on our state’s person and reputation.
I am drawn to my home state and the entire New England area. In fact, if there was one other place I could live it would be New Hampshire, despite her cold winters and the tourists.
I am drawn to New Hampshire for the picturesque seacoasts, wonderful nature, quaint feel, the "small town" feel of it's surroundings (one might see a similarity to towns out of Stephen King's books who is a Maine native and undoubtedly spent time in New Hampshire) and the beautiful beaches. New Hampshire’s beaches can’t compete with the beaches of certain parts of California, Florida, Hawaii and so forth. It is this obscurity that reinforces my appreciation for them, though. It gives me a sense that they are “my beaches” and not the overcrowded tourists traps of some other states.
In reality, it is a bit illogical and somewhat silly to have such an affection for an area because of reasons we have no control over. We don’t choose to be born at a certain place or whether our parents pick up and move while we’re children. Yet, it is the memories and experiences that can make us develop such deep feelings for our surroundings.
My affinity for my state and even the city I live in is well known. If anyone wants to know the best place to go out for dinner, directions and so forth I am known to be the first person to ask. This is in part tongue in cheek. However, there are many reasons why I feel this way.
Each playground and street corner holds a memory. There were the bars, clubs and establishments (which seem to be going away each and every year) where I had so many happy times. While it may be mostly nostalgia that makes these places so important to me. Isn’t this what builds our attachment to certain places? Suppose we make the decision to move. How is this done? How does one choose Florida over Texas? Is it based on some Hollywood based image? Is it because we appreciate their rich history? Outside of being close to family and loved ones, what draws us to certain places.
We always seem to think the grass is always greener somewhere else (although I hear it is actually blue in Kentucky).
Where do you wish you could live? Why do you wish to live somewhere else?
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